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Episode 40: Navigating the Energy of Accountability
3 Plays1 year ago
Do you currently have an accountability partner?
How do you ensure that you stay committed to the goals you've set for yourself?
As we find ourselves in the early days of 2024, many of us are busy outlining plans and establishing objectives for the year. In today's episode, we delve into the topic of accountability. While some rely on accountability buddies, others find solace in holding themselves to their own standards.
Throughout this episode, we open up about our personal journeys with accountability. Shannon shares insights into her accountability partnerships and her self-imposed methods of staying on track. Lili provides a retrospective on how her approach to accountability has evolved over the years.
When faced with a setback in achieving your goals, how do you respond? Do you engage in self-criticism or speak to yourself harshly? It's crucial to break free from such negative patterns and practice self-compassion. By breaking down your goals into smaller, achievable milestones, you'll likely be astonished by the progress you can make.
In today's discussion, we stress the importance of self-care and aligning ourselves to the signals our bodies send when our energy is running low.
Join us as we explore the intricacies of accountability, self-awareness, and the transformative journey of personal growth in this enlightening episode.
Key Talking Points of the Episode:
[01:05] Shannon’s dynamic with accountability partners
[02:05] Unpacking the essence of having an accountability buddy
[03:17] Charting the evolution of Lili's relationship with accountability
[06:25] Shannon’s ambitious goals for the year
[08:29] Examining what accountability entails for Lili
[14:00] Lili’s thoughtful intentions for the year
[19:25] Acknowledging the power of intentionality in our accountability pursuits
[25:34] Heightening awareness by recognizing personal triggers
Magical Quotes from the Episode:
“Accountability ultimately serves you at the end of the day.”
“Waking up earlier translates to more dedicated time for yourself.”
Note: This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only
Resources:
School for Meditation and Healing
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to 'Psychic Girls Next Door'
00:00:05
Speaker
Welcome to Psychic Girls Next Door.
00:00:07
Speaker
We are your hosts, Shannon Miller and Lily Hipparino.
00:00:10
Speaker
And this podcast is for our spirituality enthusiasts and psychics next door to share tools, experiences, and spiritual practices that align with your highest vibrational self.
Setting Intentions for 2024: Can Accountability Be Fun?
00:00:21
Speaker
In this episode, we talk about how we started off 2024, our intentions, and how we are holding ourselves accountable.
00:00:29
Speaker
Ooh.
00:00:31
Speaker
Yeah, it's accountability.
00:00:33
Speaker
Sounds like a pretty serious episode.
00:00:35
Speaker
I know, but accountability can be fun.
00:00:37
Speaker
Yes.
00:00:38
Speaker
I think like when you have like accountability partners, it helps.
00:00:44
Speaker
Something that I've been...
00:00:46
Speaker
I guess talking a lot about in my workspace because I started a new job in December of, of last year.
00:00:52
Speaker
So I'm about a month and a half ish in, or almost two months in.
00:00:58
Speaker
And, um, with the holidays, it kind of, it feels like I just started, but then I feel a lot more comfortable with everybody.
00:01:06
Speaker
Uh, and it's been awesome so far.
00:01:08
Speaker
Like it's been great.
00:01:09
Speaker
And so like some of the new, like things that we're putting in place, like, uh,
00:01:15
Speaker
having accountability buddies and, you know, I've offered to be my executive's accountability partner for a few things of like, yeah, like I'll be your, let's be each other's accountability buddies.
00:01:25
Speaker
And we did a vision board workshop and, and then we also did vision boards with a bunch of our friends and,
00:01:33
Speaker
I had some people come over to my house and so I applied what we did at our house in my workspace.
00:01:39
Speaker
And so I was like, yeah, like, you know, you never know what people are trying to manifest.
00:01:45
Speaker
And so it's nice when you can have...
00:01:49
Speaker
someone to be an accountability buddy with.
00:01:53
Speaker
And so that's why it's like almost like creating space and then connecting with somebody.
00:02:00
Speaker
And you're not only having to like not nag yourself, you know, like, or if you don't do something, then you, and then it disappears.
00:02:09
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:02:10
Speaker
Like, so that's like what you don't want to happen.
00:02:12
Speaker
So with an accountability buddy, you
00:02:14
Speaker
They'll
Overcoming Accountability Struggles
00:02:15
Speaker
be like, oh, hey, like, how's your progress?
00:02:17
Speaker
Like, what's, you know, what's new with you regarding X, Y, and Z?
00:02:21
Speaker
Whatever you matched on for accountability.
00:02:23
Speaker
Like, someone in my work group matched with another person on wanting to, like, be more active and, like, you know, exercise more.
00:02:33
Speaker
And I'm like, oh, perfect.
00:02:34
Speaker
Maybe you two could, like, go to the gym together or...
00:02:37
Speaker
You know, if you're remote, like, you know, check in with each other about like, oh, what have you done to like move your body this week?
00:02:44
Speaker
So that it's just a question.
00:02:45
Speaker
And like, if you didn't move your body that much, you know, there's still time in the rest of the week.
00:02:51
Speaker
Like if you do midweek check-ins with each other.
00:02:54
Speaker
And it makes it more fun.
00:02:55
Speaker
Yeah.
00:02:55
Speaker
Yeah.
00:02:56
Speaker
It's...
00:02:57
Speaker
I mean, as much as we want to be accountable for ourselves, sometimes we do need that little nudge.
00:03:03
Speaker
It's nice to have a bunny.
00:03:05
Speaker
Just like a reminder.
00:03:06
Speaker
And we get sometimes so caught up in our own things.
00:03:09
Speaker
Totally.
00:03:10
Speaker
Busy and you get sidetracked.
00:03:11
Speaker
Yeah.
00:03:12
Speaker
So it's just nice to have that person.
00:03:14
Speaker
Yeah, like you're my accountability buddy for this podcast.
00:03:17
Speaker
I think we both are for each other.
00:03:18
Speaker
Yeah.
00:03:19
Speaker
That's why it works so well.
00:03:20
Speaker
Oh, totally.
00:03:21
Speaker
But I don't think, I mean, for me, accountability has been something that it has evolved throughout the years.
00:03:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:03:28
Speaker
Because I look back in my family and how I was raised.
00:03:35
Speaker
How can I explain it?
00:03:37
Speaker
I was raised in a way where you just did not take accountability for your actions.
Evolving Personal Accountability Practices
00:03:42
Speaker
Yeah.
00:03:42
Speaker
Oh, interesting.
00:03:43
Speaker
You learn you would blame others.
00:03:45
Speaker
So it's a very, I would say it's more like a defense mechanism, right?
00:03:49
Speaker
So things would come up and people would just like either shovel under the rug or you just kind of deflect and place the blame on someone else.
00:03:59
Speaker
So for me, it was a foreign concept because every time something would happen or I had to own it, I would always find a way to not.
00:04:10
Speaker
Do it.
00:04:11
Speaker
Yeah.
00:04:11
Speaker
Well, that would go the other way.
00:04:13
Speaker
Especially if it's like your shadow.
00:04:14
Speaker
Yes.
00:04:15
Speaker
Yeah.
00:04:15
Speaker
You know, parts of myself that like admitting, for example, that I made a mistake.
00:04:20
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:04:20
Speaker
And then I had a very hard time doing it because what I learned internally, what I learned was that even admitting that or owning that meant that you were weak or it was a failure.
00:04:35
Speaker
And so I kind of like internalize all this information.
00:04:40
Speaker
And then it kind of reflected, of course, like in all my relationships, because what happens is people, they don't, don't trust you or you don't trust yourself.
00:04:48
Speaker
Right.
00:04:48
Speaker
Right.
00:04:49
Speaker
It starts with yourself.
00:04:50
Speaker
It all starts with you.
00:04:52
Speaker
So you don't trust yourself.
00:04:54
Speaker
And I wasn't very compassionate with myself.
00:05:00
Speaker
I was very hard to, because it created a cycle of like, you don't own that information or you don't trust yourself.
00:05:09
Speaker
And then you,
00:05:10
Speaker
become your biggest critic, but you kind of like repeat the pattern.
00:05:14
Speaker
So that was one of the patterns that I had to like, really like take accountability for the pattern and then become more aware of it.
00:05:25
Speaker
So I could kind of catch myself, you know, when it came to being
00:05:30
Speaker
pretty much holding myself responsible for my actions.
00:05:34
Speaker
Yeah.
00:05:34
Speaker
Because, of course, it is just to, like, blame, like, external conditions.
00:05:39
Speaker
Oh, it's because of this, it's because of that.
00:05:40
Speaker
No, it's because of this and this person or whoever.
00:05:44
Speaker
Well, they triggered me.
00:05:45
Speaker
It's your fault, not mine.
00:05:48
Speaker
Then to take a good look at yourself and say, you know what?
00:05:53
Speaker
I had a part in it, too.
00:05:55
Speaker
So for me, it was, yeah, so it really evolved, you know, as I...
Consistency in Daily Life Through Planning
00:06:00
Speaker
became more and more aware of it and then just taking action towards it also.
00:06:06
Speaker
When I've noticed that I wasn't really taking responsibility for it, then I start calling myself.
00:06:13
Speaker
I'm like, hey, you need to own this.
00:06:15
Speaker
Oh, for sure.
00:06:18
Speaker
Own it fully so you can also...
00:06:23
Speaker
be honest yeah be honest with myself and you kind of have to take action too you do and something that I've been like my goal for this year is to be more consistent and then like so kind of having accountability for checking in with myself on like a weekly basis of like
00:06:44
Speaker
How consistent were you with whatever I'm doing?
00:06:48
Speaker
Whether it's like moving my body, financially responsible, like this concept of loud budgeting that's like going, it's viral.
00:06:58
Speaker
Like, I think that is such a great...
00:07:00
Speaker
thing to do, like being very verbal and like open about like, oh, I can't do that.
00:07:06
Speaker
Like I'm saving for my European trip.
00:07:08
Speaker
That's great.
00:07:09
Speaker
Yeah.
00:07:09
Speaker
Like having things like that.
00:07:11
Speaker
And I think being able to like visually see it, like I got the Chani Nicholas, um, planner, the astro planner, and I've actually been using it.
00:07:22
Speaker
So like, you know, one, buy the planner to use it and three, check it.
00:07:28
Speaker
Right.
00:07:28
Speaker
Yes.
00:07:28
Speaker
Make good use of it.
00:07:30
Speaker
Yeah.
00:07:30
Speaker
I think that's been helpful.
00:07:32
Speaker
But yeah, like what for someone who is like more free floating, I would say I'm more free floating.
00:07:41
Speaker
Like, and I would say that you're a very grounded person from my experience.
00:07:45
Speaker
I'm very detailed.
00:07:46
Speaker
Yes.
00:07:47
Speaker
Like things structured.
00:07:49
Speaker
I'm very organized.
00:07:50
Speaker
Yeah.
00:07:51
Speaker
Well, I think that's why it works.
00:07:52
Speaker
Yeah.
00:07:53
Speaker
Yeah.
00:07:53
Speaker
Because we all bring a little bit of different energies into the space.
00:07:58
Speaker
Totally.
00:07:59
Speaker
And I think accountability can look and feel different for each person.
00:08:05
Speaker
So, like, for someone who is a little bit more free-floating and, like, not as, like...
00:08:12
Speaker
you know, structured, what would you, what advice would you give for someone coming who is, you know, coming from you who, you know, you're more grounded in this space or you're more structured?
00:08:27
Speaker
Like, what would accountability look like for you in your realm?
00:08:33
Speaker
I would say that it all starts with a question, how is this behavior serving you?
00:08:44
Speaker
How is this serving and improving your life?
00:08:48
Speaker
Is it making your life harder or is it making more difficult?
00:08:51
Speaker
Yeah.
00:08:52
Speaker
Because if you need to first acknowledge.
00:08:56
Speaker
Right.
00:08:57
Speaker
If there's an issue.
00:08:58
Speaker
There's an issue.
00:08:59
Speaker
Or if this is becoming an issue.
00:09:01
Speaker
Yeah.
00:09:02
Speaker
And how is this impacting everything around you?
00:09:07
Speaker
Yeah.
00:09:07
Speaker
Like, does it help with your relationships?
00:09:11
Speaker
Does it make you better at your career?
00:09:14
Speaker
So I think it's just taking an honest look at.
00:09:18
Speaker
edit.
00:09:21
Speaker
Yeah.
00:09:21
Speaker
Because,
Impact of Accountability on Relationships
00:09:23
Speaker
you know, some people might think also that accountability sounds a little rigid.
00:09:30
Speaker
Like, oh, it's a responsibility.
00:09:31
Speaker
It sounds like a little daunting.
00:09:34
Speaker
Right.
00:09:34
Speaker
It kind of does fall in the realm of, like, responsibility, but I see it, like, for self-accountability.
00:09:40
Speaker
Yes.
00:09:41
Speaker
Like, let's, you know, narrow it down and...
00:09:43
Speaker
Yeah.
00:09:44
Speaker
Maybe title the episode self-accountability.
00:09:46
Speaker
Yes.
00:09:47
Speaker
That's a good definition too.
00:09:49
Speaker
But I think it all starts with acknowledgement of it and then kind of work it from there.
00:09:56
Speaker
I think when you kind of can give that, put like, I want to say, shape it.
00:10:02
Speaker
Yeah.
00:10:03
Speaker
So you see the shape of it.
00:10:04
Speaker
How does it look?
00:10:06
Speaker
And for some people that might look like maybe writing it down, talking to a friend, talking to a therapist, whatever it is.
00:10:15
Speaker
And then from there, just like, what are just the tangible things that we can do just to support you in...
00:10:22
Speaker
you know, making yourself more accountable.
00:10:25
Speaker
Right.
00:10:25
Speaker
Because accountability is for you at the end of the day.
00:10:28
Speaker
That's very true.
00:10:29
Speaker
If you think about it, it's not for others and it's not other people's responsibility also to make us accountable.
00:10:36
Speaker
And just how, because it benefits, I think it's more beneficial than it is not.
00:10:43
Speaker
Yeah.
00:10:43
Speaker
If you look at it.
00:10:44
Speaker
No, absolutely.
00:10:45
Speaker
Because I feel like when I follow through and I fulfill the things that I want to do or promised that I would do for myself, like...
00:10:54
Speaker
When I go on a walk three times a week and like this, this week I meditated for a half hour while the sun was shining.
00:11:02
Speaker
So I got my, like, I, I like to do multiple birds, one stone.
00:11:06
Speaker
Like if I can, my ideal morning essentially that I'm trying to mock up and be more proactive about is going on a walk before work so that I move my body and
00:11:18
Speaker
I get that sunlight in my eyes to reset or, you know, help with circadian rhythm.
00:11:25
Speaker
And then I, you know, have my heart rate up.
00:11:29
Speaker
And then while I'm on my walk, I am getting fresh air and getting connecting to nature and feeling kind of like grounded in my body.
00:11:37
Speaker
I listen.
00:11:37
Speaker
I've been listening to Nicola Perez, How to Do the Work.
00:11:40
Speaker
So I'm like kind of doing multiple, I like to, they call it habit stacking, where I stack those good habits that are going to set up my day.
00:11:52
Speaker
And like, I'm not going to lie, like I'm not consistent every day, but when I do it like three or four times a week, whether it's morning or after work or even going on a walk at lunch, whenever I can fit that in, I do feel better.
00:12:07
Speaker
And like by the time Friday rolls around,
00:12:10
Speaker
Which Friday is, like, ruled by Venus, like, so it's all about, like, connecting with yourself and loved ones.
00:12:15
Speaker
So, like, I feel like, oh, I feel very, like, I feel proud of myself.
00:12:20
Speaker
Like, I feel accomplished.
00:12:22
Speaker
I feel set up.
00:12:23
Speaker
But, like, you know, that might, whatever your goals are is going to look different for you, you know, whoever's listening to this episode.
00:12:30
Speaker
Yeah.
00:12:30
Speaker
whatever you're trying to set your mind to do and like for me it's like switching my habits around movement um so but when i do when i am consistent i feel good and i feel like oh i'm taking ownership of the things that i wanted to do
00:12:47
Speaker
Well, I think you can also be free-floating and also take accountability or hold yourself accountable for things in your life.
00:12:55
Speaker
Well, I see accountability a lot as taking control of your life and not allowing external things to dictate how your day goes or how your emotions or how your mood goes.
00:13:08
Speaker
is kind of flowing on that day.
00:13:12
Speaker
And when you feel in charge of your life, you feel more empowered.
00:13:17
Speaker
Yeah.
00:13:18
Speaker
There's a sense of empowerment, like say in your case, you said, you know, I did all these things, so
Reigniting a Reading Habit: What's Holding You Back?
00:13:24
Speaker
it made me feel good.
00:13:25
Speaker
So you feel empowered.
00:13:26
Speaker
And when you have that sense of empowerment, man, the sky's the limit.
00:13:30
Speaker
Oh, totally.
00:13:30
Speaker
If you think about it, because then you just want to do more things, not only for yourself, but also for others too.
00:13:36
Speaker
Yeah.
00:13:37
Speaker
Right.
00:13:37
Speaker
So you kind of think it all, it's this energy.
00:13:40
Speaker
Yeah.
00:13:40
Speaker
If you look at it, it's just like this energy that you kind of feed on and you feed with.
00:13:46
Speaker
And from then, it just like it grows and it matches like everything else that is around it.
00:13:52
Speaker
But for me, interesting that I was thinking about accountability this year.
00:13:57
Speaker
So one of my intentions this year is to be more consistent with my reading.
00:14:03
Speaker
Oh, I love that.
00:14:04
Speaker
Yeah.
00:14:04
Speaker
I, you know, I'm someone I love reading and I used to have the habit of like, I would read like two books at once.
00:14:12
Speaker
Like I'll be reading two books at the same time.
00:14:14
Speaker
And I had like stacks of books and I don't know, like books.
00:14:19
Speaker
I would say for the last year, the last year, I kind of fell off the track from like reading and I was like, I still have a stack of books on my nightstand, but it's just like collecting them.
00:14:36
Speaker
And I sat down and I looked at the books.
00:14:38
Speaker
I'm like, why am I not reading those books?
00:14:42
Speaker
I love reading books.
00:14:44
Speaker
I enjoy even the books that I have.
00:14:46
Speaker
I actually want to read it.
00:14:48
Speaker
But I've noticed that I wasn't make time for that.
00:14:52
Speaker
Because you do have to make time to sit down, pick up the book and read.
00:14:59
Speaker
And I asked, well, why?
00:15:00
Speaker
What is the resistance around reading?
00:15:04
Speaker
And I've noticed that I was just making excuses.
00:15:08
Speaker
Oh, we all do.
00:15:09
Speaker
Oh, I'm tired.
00:15:12
Speaker
It's not going to have time.
00:15:14
Speaker
Right.
00:15:14
Speaker
You know, all this like weird, strange excuses I was making.
00:15:20
Speaker
And so that was one of the things I was like, you know what?
00:15:22
Speaker
My intention is going to be to read at least, you know, more than one chapter, if possible, per day.
00:15:31
Speaker
Right.
00:15:31
Speaker
That's a good goal.
00:15:32
Speaker
Does it happen?
00:15:34
Speaker
Not every day.
00:15:34
Speaker
Right.
00:15:35
Speaker
But I'm getting better.
00:15:36
Speaker
Yeah.
00:15:37
Speaker
Because as you start looking and feeling the benefits of, you know, whatever it is that you're trying to improve or accomplish, and you start getting a feeling, oh my gosh, this is great.
00:15:47
Speaker
I'm enjoying this book.
00:15:48
Speaker
I'm having a great time.
00:15:50
Speaker
And then I also start labeling that as also as my me time.
00:15:53
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
00:15:54
Speaker
the time that I am receiving all this knowledge and I'm receiving all this great information.
00:16:02
Speaker
So I think also when you start attaching a lot of benefits to it.
00:16:08
Speaker
Like the positive associations.
00:16:10
Speaker
And then you start to feel more encouraged to keep going.
00:16:14
Speaker
Because sometimes, you know, not a lot of us have an actual accounting buddy or, you know, someone that
Self-Care and Personal Empowerment
00:16:21
Speaker
will be, you know, checking on you.
00:16:23
Speaker
And sometimes you kind of have to do it yourself.
00:16:26
Speaker
Yeah, especially for like the morning and evening routines that you're creating or habits you're instilling in yourself.
00:16:33
Speaker
Like for me, I like, you know, I went on a few walks like before work and
00:16:40
Speaker
and my sister wanted to come and she's like, okay, well just wake me up and then I can go to the bathroom.
00:16:46
Speaker
And then I'm like, you know, she's in the bathroom for like a certain amount of time.
00:16:50
Speaker
And then I'm waiting for her when I could have just gone.
00:16:53
Speaker
And I like, you know, for me, I'm like, that's something that like, I just need to do by myself.
00:16:58
Speaker
And I think,
00:16:58
Speaker
you know and she wants me to be of course we're each other's accountability buddies with when it comes to like movement and switching up our health habits this year and it's nice that she's one room over for me or from me in the house but at the same time i'm like i don't want to wait for anyone else
00:17:16
Speaker
Right.
00:17:16
Speaker
And I realized that about myself in that moment.
00:17:18
Speaker
And then so I like took ownership of it and be like, hey, like, I think if you want to come with me, I would love for you to come with me.
00:17:25
Speaker
But you have to do it for yourself.
00:17:26
Speaker
Like you have to be the one to set the alarm and wake yourself up.
00:17:30
Speaker
And if you know that you're going to take a few minutes in the bathroom, like and to do your thing, like you got to do that, you know, right.
00:17:38
Speaker
Right.
00:17:53
Speaker
And she's like the opposite.
00:17:54
Speaker
She's the opposite.
00:17:55
Speaker
Like she, you know, she's like a slow, slow starter.
00:17:59
Speaker
I'm the same way too.
00:18:00
Speaker
And that's okay.
00:18:01
Speaker
Like different styles.
00:18:02
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:03
Speaker
We all have different things.
00:18:05
Speaker
And there's like certain things that people need to do before they leave the house in the morning.
00:18:08
Speaker
And like, for me, like...
00:18:11
Speaker
I could be dilly-dallying forever, but for me, I'm like, I know that I want to get that sunlight in my eyes before 9 a.m.
00:18:20
Speaker
or before 8 a.m.
00:18:22
Speaker
So, like, ideally, like, the best time for me to go is, like, at 7 in the morning.
00:18:25
Speaker
But lately, I have not felt motivated because it's been raining and there's no sunlight.
00:18:32
Speaker
And the whole point of me, in my mind, this is probably a narrative I'm telling myself, was like, oh, I'm going because I can get that morning sun.
00:18:39
Speaker
to make me feel happy.
00:18:40
Speaker
And I was like, wait.
00:18:42
Speaker
So then when I found sun, I woke up like a little too late to go on a walk before work a couple days ago, but I meditated in the sun instead.
00:18:52
Speaker
So I chose like another habit that I want to be more consistent with.
00:18:57
Speaker
And instead of like meditating at night, I switched it up.
00:19:01
Speaker
So I was, I got my morning sun.
00:19:04
Speaker
I sat with Zoe, which was another habit stacker of like having more time with my cat before I leave for the office.
00:19:12
Speaker
And so like being able to like connect to myself, connect to my little, you know, soul cat and being able to like set myself up so that in my
00:19:22
Speaker
I can be able to serve other people at work because that's the whole point of my job to serve other people.
00:19:27
Speaker
Yeah.
Balancing Structure and Fluidity with Astrology
00:19:28
Speaker
So, yeah.
00:19:29
Speaker
Well, I like to the fact that we can also be intentional.
00:19:34
Speaker
Yeah.
00:19:34
Speaker
About what we're accountable for in our lives.
00:19:38
Speaker
So I would say maybe the sun getting the sun in the morning wasn't exactly the goal.
00:19:46
Speaker
Right.
00:19:47
Speaker
But I think the intention was to just feel comfortable.
00:19:50
Speaker
better.
00:19:51
Speaker
Right.
00:19:51
Speaker
Well, yes, well, well, well, yes, and just getting the, you know, that warm and cozy feeling totally inside so you can have and set the tone for a great day ahead of you, whether it was the walk or the meditation, right.
00:20:06
Speaker
But it's good to take it inventory in your life and just notice what are the things that you do want to make a change?
00:20:19
Speaker
And how much of accountability do you have on the things that you want to change?
00:20:26
Speaker
And how do you talk to yourself internally when you don't end up fulfilling that?
00:20:34
Speaker
Like, that's something that I've noticed when I...
00:20:37
Speaker
Like, prior, I've switched up my how I speak to myself.
00:20:42
Speaker
But when I go in modes of like having the certain expectation of like, doing this every single day, or like, for me, I'm like, I know that's not realistic.
00:20:51
Speaker
You have Yeah, you have to set realistic goals.
00:20:54
Speaker
Yeah, realistic goals.
00:20:55
Speaker
Because if you tell yourself, oh, I'm going to run one hour every day.
00:20:59
Speaker
Right.
00:21:00
Speaker
And then you don't do it.
00:21:01
Speaker
And then you don't do it.
00:21:01
Speaker
Then you're beating yourself up because you didn't do it.
00:21:05
Speaker
Right.
00:21:06
Speaker
And then that becomes a pattern, too.
00:21:09
Speaker
And then you don't do it anymore.
00:21:10
Speaker
Right.
00:21:10
Speaker
And then you're just like, well, you know, F this.
00:21:12
Speaker
I'm not going to do it at all.
00:21:13
Speaker
And then the whole intention kind of goes out the window.
00:21:17
Speaker
So I think it's, like, really important to be kind and, like,
00:21:22
Speaker
create space for yourself if you are trying to switch up new habits for this year or I mean any point at any point in your life um but I think this this year with like everyone's talking about Pluto and Aquarius like you know switching from like kind of like that structured Capricorn and Lily is a Capricorn so I can yeah I can talk um
00:21:44
Speaker
A long time about all that stuff.
00:21:47
Speaker
Yeah.
00:21:47
Speaker
And so, like, being more into, like, the fluidity of Aquarius and, like, you know, Pluto rules, I think, the 12th house of, like, you know, the underworld, the shadow side of yourself.
00:22:01
Speaker
And so...
00:22:02
Speaker
I think it gives us all permission to be a little bit more free-floating and just make exceptions.
00:22:13
Speaker
If you are someone who's super structured, I am not.
00:22:17
Speaker
But if you are, give yourself the grace to...
00:22:22
Speaker
Mix it up.
00:22:23
Speaker
Try.
00:22:24
Speaker
Yeah.
00:22:24
Speaker
I have to remind myself of that because I tend to get very caged in this mentality of the black and white or things have to be a certain way.
00:22:39
Speaker
And there's not a lot of room.
00:22:41
Speaker
for things to flow.
00:22:42
Speaker
Yeah.
00:22:43
Speaker
When you're kind of so like nitty gritty about things.
00:22:49
Speaker
Or if you're like wanting something specific, you're only going to be creating space for that specific thing or that energy or like, you know, nothing else might come in.
00:23:01
Speaker
Something better might even come in.
00:23:02
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:03
Speaker
I have to remind myself too.
00:23:04
Speaker
It's okay to get messy sometimes.
00:23:07
Speaker
And for me, that freaks me out.
00:23:09
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:10
Speaker
Just like thinking about that.
00:23:12
Speaker
But I do like catch myself.
00:23:16
Speaker
And again, it comes to all self-awareness.
00:23:18
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:19
Speaker
And I catch myself just being like rigid.
00:23:21
Speaker
I'm like, oh, I just need to kind of loosen up a little bit.
00:23:24
Speaker
And I'm just going to take a step back.
00:23:26
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:26
Speaker
It's okay.
00:23:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:27
Speaker
Got a little messy.
00:23:29
Speaker
And talking about messy, you know, I have been going through a situation too with someone in my life where this person takes no accountability for their actions.
00:23:41
Speaker
That's messy.
00:23:42
Speaker
That is very, very messy.
00:23:45
Speaker
And that really drives me nuts.
00:23:47
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:47
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:48
Speaker
Because it's the opposite of me.
00:23:51
Speaker
So my work is to look at why is this triggering me so much?
00:23:57
Speaker
Why?
00:23:58
Speaker
Because someone is operating in a different way.
00:24:02
Speaker
Why does it bother me?
00:24:04
Speaker
Yeah.
00:24:04
Speaker
You know, so that is also a good way just to kind of look at it.
00:24:07
Speaker
Well, if that is so triggering, so the work is on me.
00:24:10
Speaker
It's not about so much about the other person.
00:24:13
Speaker
Right, right.
00:24:14
Speaker
You know, but it was really interesting just to kind of observe how this person like operates.
00:24:21
Speaker
And there are people there just have, you know, they're unaware of how their actions impact others.
00:24:28
Speaker
Yeah.
00:24:28
Speaker
And not taking any accountability or responsibility for it.
00:24:31
Speaker
Maybe, I don't know, they were raised that way.
00:24:34
Speaker
Maybe they have no clue about this stuff.
00:24:38
Speaker
Right.
00:24:38
Speaker
And that's okay.
00:24:40
Speaker
We're all on different levels of consciousness.
00:24:43
Speaker
Yeah.
00:24:43
Speaker
But I can only be accountable for myself and how I react.
00:24:49
Speaker
Or respond to this situation.
00:24:51
Speaker
Totally.
00:24:51
Speaker
Totally.
00:24:53
Speaker
But it is, it does kind of makes me cringe.
00:24:57
Speaker
Yeah.
00:24:57
Speaker
I'm not going to lie.
00:24:58
Speaker
No, totally.
00:24:59
Speaker
When you feel yourself, like, becoming kind of swept up in that current, right?
00:25:05
Speaker
Or the hurricane or however way you want to describe it.
00:25:08
Speaker
Like, and you feel yourself getting triggered.
00:25:10
Speaker
How do you...
00:25:13
Speaker
recognize that within yourself and then how do you like kind of take yourself off that ledge or you know from you know pre-explosion or pleat whatever way you want to react naturally like or like how do you kind of talk yourself into being like okay everything's fine like
00:25:34
Speaker
It's not the end of the world.
00:25:35
Speaker
Or what does that process look like for you?
00:25:37
Speaker
For me, it's just acknowledgement.
00:25:40
Speaker
It's just recognizing, oh, I got triggered and not be too harsh on myself because of that.
00:25:46
Speaker
Yeah.
00:25:47
Speaker
But again, this comes with a lot of inner work.
00:25:50
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:25:51
Speaker
Just, you know, I just don't want people to think that it comes naturally because, man, we're humans and we are going to get triggered.
00:25:57
Speaker
Yeah.
00:25:58
Speaker
But it comes with a lot of meditation and healing work just to kind of get to that point where I recognize it.
00:26:08
Speaker
And you have to take a deep breath.
00:26:10
Speaker
Yeah.
00:26:11
Speaker
Yeah.
00:26:11
Speaker
It's like the deep breath.
00:26:13
Speaker
Like, okay.
00:26:14
Speaker
Yeah.
00:26:16
Speaker
And then just slow down.
00:26:18
Speaker
Yeah.
00:26:19
Speaker
You have to slow down and like, okay, let me just take a breather, reconnect with myself and how then decide how do you want to respond to that?
00:26:30
Speaker
You know, I think it's all on that moment where you pause because a lot of things, the, you know, cause there are consequences to like the way that you react.
00:26:40
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:26:41
Speaker
But it's just, I think how you shift the energy is how you respond to all the situations.
00:26:49
Speaker
Even like when you catch yourself like, oh, I think I kind of slipped on this thing.
00:26:55
Speaker
And that's, to me, it's also just recognizing that you need, you recognize the pattern.
00:27:00
Speaker
Yeah.
00:27:01
Speaker
And it's accountability.
00:27:03
Speaker
Yeah.
00:27:03
Speaker
Totally.
00:27:03
Speaker
Like, oh, I need to like tighten that up a little bit or pay more attention to that.
00:27:07
Speaker
Oh, I forgot.
00:27:08
Speaker
Yeah.
00:27:08
Speaker
Oh, maybe I didn't run today, but you know what?
00:27:11
Speaker
I woke up today.
00:27:13
Speaker
Even if you exercise at home.
00:27:16
Speaker
Right.
00:27:16
Speaker
It might not be the actual run, but again, the intention is wellness.
00:27:21
Speaker
I want to feel bad about myself.
00:27:24
Speaker
I'm just going to create some movement in the house.
00:27:25
Speaker
That's still being accountable.
00:27:27
Speaker
And again, it's going to look different for people.
00:27:30
Speaker
everyone.
00:27:31
Speaker
It's not about like being so, you know, like a mean boss to yourself.
00:27:36
Speaker
No, no, you don't have to like crack the whip or anything.
00:27:39
Speaker
I think accountability to me also sounds a lot like creating boundaries.
00:27:44
Speaker
Yes.
00:27:44
Speaker
If you think about it, it's creating boundaries for yourself.
00:27:48
Speaker
And a routine or just like, and also like checking in with yourself and like, what is the reason why you want to do this?
00:27:57
Speaker
And you have to have that desire that like, like kind of that initial spark of curiosity or interest in learning.
00:28:04
Speaker
So I started recently taking ice skating lessons.
00:28:08
Speaker
Yeah, that's amazing.
00:28:09
Speaker
Yeah.
00:28:10
Speaker
So and I've always wanted to, like, since I was four years old, I wanted to go to the Olympics.
00:28:15
Speaker
And I wanted to be the next Shannon Miller in the Olympics.
00:28:19
Speaker
And
00:28:19
Speaker
You know, if you're not familiar, Shannon Miller was a gymnast in the Olympics, but I wanted to be the figure skater version.
00:28:25
Speaker
And my parents, you know, didn't take me because, one, we couldn't financially afford it, and two, the rink was an hour away.
00:28:33
Speaker
So my mom didn't want to drive an hour each way, which...
00:28:36
Speaker
At this point, as an adult, I don't blame her because that's a lot of effort.
00:28:40
Speaker
And, you know, when you don't have that, like, space to do that.
00:28:45
Speaker
Yeah.
00:28:45
Speaker
Like, so now it's been really healing for my inner child.
00:28:48
Speaker
Yeah, well, now that you can do it.
00:28:49
Speaker
I can buy it myself.
00:28:51
Speaker
Yes, but now it's like, yeah.
00:28:52
Speaker
Your responsibility.
00:28:53
Speaker
Exactly.
00:28:54
Speaker
Exactly.
00:28:54
Speaker
And like, I've made a couple of friends.
00:28:57
Speaker
I'm doing it for me.
00:28:58
Speaker
And it's been so mentally rewarding.
Pursuing Dreams: Is It Ever Too Late?
00:29:02
Speaker
And it's like fulfilled this childhood dream of mine, you know, like, and then I've had a lot of like anxiety and like just feeling nervous about,
00:29:10
Speaker
Will I like fall and eat shit like every time?
00:29:14
Speaker
And no, I'm actually like, we're, we're, we're all getting good, which is kind of crazy.
00:29:19
Speaker
Like when I think about it, cause I've, it's like when you've had this like idea of something and wanting to do something forever.
00:29:27
Speaker
And then when you finally take action, inspired action on it, and if you have the resources to do so,
00:29:33
Speaker
you would surprise you'll surprise yourself on how easy it feels like especially if it's meant to be things will feel easy and they'll click and you'll want to keep doing that yeah when it's something that you enjoy doing it yeah so it doesn't feel like a chore that you have to do it so it just flows yeah
00:29:53
Speaker
Yeah.
00:29:53
Speaker
And we're already talking about like, oh, well, in order to go to pre-alpha, you got to be able to do this.
00:29:58
Speaker
And then the, uh, one of the girls who I became friends with and this, we're only on, you know, week three at this point, week four is on Monday.
00:30:07
Speaker
Uh, and it's an eight week class.
00:30:08
Speaker
And we're talking about like staying late for like the open session to practice and we're going on the weekends because we want to get good enough to like go to the next level.
00:30:16
Speaker
And I was like, I didn't realize that was the goal.
00:30:18
Speaker
Yeah.
00:30:19
Speaker
But I guess that is the goal to like keep getting better and improving.
00:30:24
Speaker
So sometimes you can surprise yourself.
00:30:26
Speaker
You might have like this small milestone goal.
00:30:29
Speaker
And for me, it's just to feel comfortable in ice skates and learn how to ice skate.
00:30:33
Speaker
It's all about the small actions.
00:30:34
Speaker
Yes.
00:30:35
Speaker
Yeah.
00:30:35
Speaker
It's like one day at a time.
00:30:37
Speaker
In your case, one skating.
00:30:39
Speaker
One skate at a time.
00:30:40
Speaker
Yeah.
00:30:41
Speaker
Yeah.
00:30:41
Speaker
And then just because we all start.
00:30:43
Speaker
Yeah.
00:30:44
Speaker
From beginning.
00:30:45
Speaker
Yeah.
00:30:46
Speaker
We all do it.
00:30:47
Speaker
No one, you know, your chapter one, you cannot compare to someone that is on chapter 50.
00:30:52
Speaker
We all have to start somewhere.
00:30:54
Speaker
So it all starts now.
00:30:55
Speaker
Yeah.
00:30:56
Speaker
Today.
00:30:57
Speaker
It starts with you.
00:30:58
Speaker
It starts with you.
00:30:59
Speaker
It starts in the present.
00:31:00
Speaker
It's not tomorrow.
00:31:02
Speaker
It's not a month from now.
00:31:04
Speaker
It's all about at this moment.
00:31:05
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:06
Speaker
And just, I would say it's this, it's not like a promise to yourself.
00:31:14
Speaker
It's more like about telling yourself that you're worthy.
00:31:20
Speaker
You're worthy of feeling, you know, a better version of yourself that you can also, if everyone else can do it, we can do it too.
00:31:32
Speaker
Right, right.
00:31:33
Speaker
Right?
00:31:34
Speaker
The whole, I think like...
00:31:36
Speaker
my theme is to be more consistent with movement in general.
00:31:40
Speaker
And I'm like, oh, ice skating is one of those things that like adds value and contributes to like that larger goal.
00:31:46
Speaker
And it, you know, it was minimal effort on my part.
00:31:48
Speaker
Like, of course, in the class, you're like, oh my God, my feet hurt.
00:31:51
Speaker
And like,
00:31:51
Speaker
things are actively happening, but then you feel good after and you're like, oh, this actually contributes to my larger goal for myself.
00:31:59
Speaker
And it's part of like that habit stacking, you know, mechanism.
00:32:03
Speaker
Yeah.
00:32:04
Speaker
But you're proactive too.
00:32:05
Speaker
You took action.
00:32:06
Speaker
Right.
00:32:07
Speaker
Right.
00:32:07
Speaker
You do have to be proactive and, you know, whether it's from like reading more or moving your body or maybe meditating, I think slowing down can be difficult for people.
00:32:18
Speaker
Yeah.
00:32:19
Speaker
Oh, gosh.
00:32:19
Speaker
Slowing down has been also one of my intentions this year, too, just to like slow down.
00:32:24
Speaker
I even posted a little video on social media about it.
00:32:29
Speaker
And I have to be intentional about this because I've noticed that, you know, I went away for the holidays.
00:32:36
Speaker
And then I came back and I was just, you kind of feel like you swept into this like tornado, like a big wave and you feel like, oh my gosh, like why is going on?
00:32:47
Speaker
And I felt I was already like at December 2024.
00:32:51
Speaker
Right.
00:32:52
Speaker
Because the year was just like, kind of like speeding through me.
00:32:59
Speaker
And one day I sat down and I was like, I feel exhausted.
00:33:04
Speaker
I am so tired.
00:33:06
Speaker
And I've noticed like my room was like all the stuff that I didn't even have time to unpack.
00:33:11
Speaker
They were sitting there for like days.
00:33:14
Speaker
And I didn't have the energy.
00:33:15
Speaker
Right.
00:33:15
Speaker
You're like, I'm not interested.
00:33:17
Speaker
I can't do it.
00:33:18
Speaker
This is the last thing that I want to do at the end of the day.
00:33:22
Speaker
And I was like, you know what?
00:33:23
Speaker
No one can do this for me but myself.
00:33:26
Speaker
Right.
00:33:26
Speaker
So I had to literally like, you know, clear my schedule for that day.
00:33:31
Speaker
I'm not going to like talk to anyone.
00:33:33
Speaker
I'm not going to go anywhere.
00:33:35
Speaker
This is what I want to do.
00:33:37
Speaker
Yeah.
00:33:37
Speaker
So I got up in the morning.
00:33:39
Speaker
you know, decided to go to a cafe that I wanted to go for a long time, take time for myself, sit down, slow down, meditate, and just like, just enjoy it.
00:33:49
Speaker
Enjoy that moment without having to think what I have to do next or things like that.
00:33:55
Speaker
And I know this is not realistic for a lot of people, but just taking that moment.
00:34:00
Speaker
You have to have time for yourself.
00:34:01
Speaker
Yeah, because if you can't, then how are you going to function?
00:34:05
Speaker
So you have to refill your own cup.
00:34:08
Speaker
And that for me was something that I had to just really be intentional about slowing down and creating that space for myself.
00:34:17
Speaker
Because when you do that, you show up for yourself.
00:34:20
Speaker
Yeah.
00:34:21
Speaker
And that feels really good.
00:34:22
Speaker
That feels amazing.
00:34:24
Speaker
And you're like, I want more of this feeling.
00:34:25
Speaker
Oh, absolutely.
00:34:26
Speaker
And then I, again, like this week, I'm like, oh, you know, I also need to create some more space for myself.
00:34:33
Speaker
And so once you just kind of like, you know, gradually.
00:34:36
Speaker
And being more consistent about it.
00:34:38
Speaker
And that becomes a lifestyle.
00:34:40
Speaker
Yeah.
Encouragement and Listener Engagement
00:34:41
Speaker
And like my goal is to like
00:34:42
Speaker
do things in the morning, like especially movement.
00:34:44
Speaker
Cause I'm like, this is why people work out before their responsibilities.
00:34:47
Speaker
Like it's literally you, if you wake up earlier, it's more time for yourself before all of the emails hit the things you need to respond to the other people come into your life, the responsibilities of the day hit you.
00:35:02
Speaker
So I think like carving out like the golden morning time or even like the evening time, if you can do that, I think like that's so critical.
00:35:11
Speaker
Yeah, so we hope that you have taken some of these ideas and hopefully they've resonated with you.
00:35:20
Speaker
And if you've come up with like ways that will inspire other people, like feel free to reach out to us, leave us a comment.
00:35:28
Speaker
We would love to know like, what are your tactics for taking care of yourself and keeping yourself accountable for your self accountability, if that makes sense.
00:35:37
Speaker
Yeah, because accountability is hard.
00:35:39
Speaker
It can be hard.
00:35:40
Speaker
It can be.
00:35:40
Speaker
And we can be your accountability buddies.
00:35:43
Speaker
absolutely so send us a message we are on social media but thank you so much for being here and sharing the space with us and we'll see you on our next episode thank you so much from the psychic girls next door