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The Ins and Outs of 2024
27 Plays1 year ago
Welcome back to our Podcast Host audition series!
This week. Savannah is joined by Rose to discuss what is in and what is out for 2024.
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Transcript
Introduction and New Co-host
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome to the Female Dating Strategy Podcast, the meanest female-only podcast on the internet.
00:00:07
Speaker
I am your host Savannah, without my lovely host Ro again, but today I am joined by one of our fabulous potential co-hosts, Rose, who is joining me today to discuss ins and outs of 2024.
00:00:23
Speaker
Hello Rose, welcome to the podcast.
00:00:26
Speaker
Thank you, I'm delighted to be here Savannah.
00:00:30
Speaker
I'm delighted to have you.
00:00:31
Speaker
When we were planning this episode just off the cuff before we started recording, I was getting really, really excited to do this episode.
00:00:37
Speaker
So before we get into it, Rose, do you want to tell us a bit more about your FDS journey and why you decided to apply to become a host?
00:00:48
Speaker
Thank you for asking.
00:00:49
Speaker
Yes, I would love to tell you about this journey of mine.
00:00:52
Speaker
This has been a life-changing journey.
Analog Lifestyle and Mental Health
00:00:55
Speaker
I think I was the ultimate pick-me before I ever knew what that term meant.
00:01:00
Speaker
And in fact, you know, I'm a bit of an old school, born in the early 80s girly.
00:01:06
Speaker
And so I was really much more of an analog and I still am an analog person versus digital.
00:01:11
Speaker
So, for example, I've never gotten on the gram.
00:01:15
Speaker
I don't have TikTok.
00:01:16
Speaker
I don't even own a TV.
00:01:17
Speaker
I do own a computer that I watch my DVDs on.
00:01:21
Speaker
To be honest, I don't have TikTok and I don't watch TV either.
00:01:24
Speaker
Like people like, you know, have you watched this show?
00:01:26
Speaker
And I'm like, I literally don't watch TV.
00:01:28
Speaker
Exactly.
00:01:29
Speaker
Exactly.
00:01:30
Speaker
I mean, it's just commercials and propaganda anyway, right?
00:01:33
Speaker
So it's one of the ways I shut out the digital noise and just the incessant consumerism directed directives.
Reddit and Feminism Discovery
00:01:44
Speaker
So I listen to LPs and records.
00:01:46
Speaker
I have a DVD and a CD collection.
00:01:49
Speaker
I like to cook from scratch.
00:01:51
Speaker
I like to call my friends and family on the phone and have long conversations about nothing.
00:01:56
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
00:01:58
Speaker
You know, in that way, I feel like I'm a little old fashioned, but I don't mind it because I think it's really protected by mental health, especially the more I hear about social media, the more leery I am.
00:02:08
Speaker
But so all this is to say, all this is to introduce, when I finally came to Reddit, my world changed.
00:02:16
Speaker
It was altered forever.
00:02:17
Speaker
Because I only discovered Reddit during COVID lockdown.
00:02:21
Speaker
I think most people, at least for me, like I also only discovered it during lockdown, I think, was when I really started.
00:02:29
Speaker
Really?
00:02:30
Speaker
So, right, I remember...
00:02:32
Speaker
I think I had, it was like black, I don't know if it was black pilled.
00:02:36
Speaker
There were these women's subreddits.
00:02:38
Speaker
Yes.
00:02:39
Speaker
Yeah.
00:02:40
Speaker
Right.
00:02:40
Speaker
Yeah.
00:02:40
Speaker
Pink pill, black pill, I think.
00:02:42
Speaker
Yes.
00:02:43
Speaker
Yes.
00:02:44
Speaker
Yeah.
00:02:44
Speaker
All of those that were, you know, in the ban.
00:02:47
Speaker
Right.
00:02:47
Speaker
I kept reading people's comments.
00:02:50
Speaker
First of all, I always have loved advice columns.
00:02:52
Speaker
So like Dear Abby, Carolyn Hacks, Elle's E-Jean, which is interesting to see that she's now one of the most successful litigants against the former
00:03:02
Speaker
would-be dictator Donald Trump, right?
00:03:04
Speaker
E. Jean Carroll.
00:03:05
Speaker
So I always have loved reading people's stories and write-ins.
00:03:09
Speaker
And so Reddit to me, of course, was like, this was just a candy box full of delicious treats.
00:03:16
Speaker
Some of them are poisoned, obviously, which is why I learned to stick to subreddits that were primarily for women.
00:03:22
Speaker
And the ones that were primarily for women, like 2X, Pink Pill, and all the others, I kept seeing people talk about or mention in comments that
00:03:31
Speaker
female dating strategy or FDS for short.
00:03:34
Speaker
Right.
00:03:34
Speaker
And so I went into Google, like, what is FDS Reddit and there it unfolded in all its glory.
00:03:39
Speaker
And I think I read everything within that first month, like the manual, all of the side links, like everything that was like, if you want to participate, if you want to comment, you have to learn all of this first.
FDS Community Growth During COVID
00:03:50
Speaker
And so like the diligent student that I always have been, I did, I did my homework.
00:03:54
Speaker
And during the lockdown, I've always been a feminist, but like a reluctant one,
00:03:59
Speaker
One of those, like, I'm not like other girls, feminist, so is it really feminist if you're not like other girls, right?
00:04:05
Speaker
But always trying to come to grips with, you know, my very conservative traditional background and what my reading and my life experience, you know, was teaching me.
00:04:15
Speaker
So FDS was really where it sort of became like the rubric where everything finally met and the heavens dawned.
00:04:22
Speaker
And the clouds cleared before me.
00:04:24
Speaker
And I cannot tell you before.
00:04:27
Speaker
It was like a holy spiritual awakening.
00:04:30
Speaker
The Lord revealed.
00:04:31
Speaker
Yeah, the Lord.
00:04:33
Speaker
The Ten Commandments on the slab.
00:04:36
Speaker
The goddess appeared before me and I bowed down.
00:04:40
Speaker
So, oh my gosh.
00:04:42
Speaker
I mean, I still remember the joy.
00:04:44
Speaker
And seeing every month, it was like, you know, the membership was going up by tens of thousands.
00:04:49
Speaker
every month, like it was just exploding.
00:04:52
Speaker
And then of course, when it got banned, I mean, I was always like writing, like, please don't ban me, you know, like, I here's my internet that shows I'm a woman.
00:04:59
Speaker
And I was very diligent in making sure like, because you know, it would go down, or it would be like, you know, invite only at various periods before they finally decided, right?
00:05:08
Speaker
Like, I remember being so anxious when it would go down, because it really became like, my lifeline during COVID lockdown.
00:05:16
Speaker
I think a lot of women can resonate with that.
Challenges of Female-only Spaces
00:05:18
Speaker
And I think even I was banned at one point from subreddit.
00:05:21
Speaker
I think probably an error, but I think when, you know, trying to create a female-only space on a male-dominated site like Reddit was a tremendous task.
00:05:31
Speaker
And how the mod team even managed to pull it off for as long as they did is just a true testament to their commitment to preserving that space because it took hours and hours and hours of, you know, moderation.
00:05:43
Speaker
And we had a huge team
00:05:45
Speaker
And even they were absolutely buried.
00:05:48
Speaker
So yeah, and I think, you know, COVID was the time when everyone was shut in.
00:05:54
Speaker
And I think people could really reflect on their life and you know, what they wanted to do moving forwards, because you weren't able to go out, all you could do is just be alone with your thoughts.
00:06:03
Speaker
And for some people, that was more positive.
00:06:06
Speaker
And for others, it was more negative.
00:06:07
Speaker
But I feel like a lot of women can really resonate with your journey to finding FBS, or at least I know I can.
Personal Reflection and Community Acceptance
00:06:14
Speaker
So that makes me happy to hear because I mean, and then I started telling all my girlfriends and of course, you know, most of them are married or in long-term relationships and they're very conventional.
00:06:23
Speaker
I mean, that's, I'm a lone ranger here amongst my peers and my cohort, but I kind of always have been.
00:06:29
Speaker
So I've always been an odd little duck, you know, but I've always been fortunate in that I've had good girlfriends who've always made sure I feel like I belong and like I have a place and you know, like my weirdness is welcome and it's viewed with affection.
00:06:44
Speaker
as opposed to derision.
00:06:45
Speaker
And so that's the vibe I get from FDS girlies too, right?
00:06:48
Speaker
Like you can have your oddities and your quirks and maybe some radical opinions, but nobody's going to be coming down on you like, you know, male Redditors would, for example.
00:06:59
Speaker
And I think you're right.
00:07:00
Speaker
We should be giving more flowers to the moderators, the OG moderators,
00:07:05
Speaker
and writers of FDS, because that really opened my eyes to how women's free speech, even on the most, you know, open to platforms, is still policed and patrolled and subject to the vilest of attacks, right, on the regular basis.
00:07:20
Speaker
And I think we take for granted that we're in the era of free speech when, in fact, it seems to me, you know, we've never had less opportunities for free and open discussion amongst
Podcast Application and Academic Rigor
00:07:33
Speaker
ourselves.
00:07:33
Speaker
I think it's
00:07:34
Speaker
We've really been policed and patrolled to within an inch of our lives.
00:07:37
Speaker
And now we have to go offline or go into podcasts or sub stack in order to voice what we feel is happening.
00:07:45
Speaker
Exactly, exactly.
00:07:46
Speaker
So, oh gosh.
00:07:48
Speaker
And so what, I guess, why did you decide to be insane and apply to be a podcaster?
00:07:55
Speaker
Well, first of all, you're the only podcast I listen to.
00:08:00
Speaker
Although Lynn Lenz, a writer out of Iowa, just started a podcast and I've been listening to that.
00:08:05
Speaker
Otherwise, I don't talk with it, you know?
00:08:07
Speaker
You're forgiven.
00:08:08
Speaker
Thank you.
00:08:09
Speaker
Thank you.
00:08:09
Speaker
But I am loyal and I pay.
00:08:11
Speaker
I'm a patron.
00:08:12
Speaker
Okay.
00:08:12
Speaker
I want this to continue.
00:08:14
Speaker
And so when I heard, you know, your episode where you're like, we're accepting applications, I was like, dare I?
00:08:21
Speaker
I mean, I have things to say and I think I'm pretty intelligent and well-informed.
00:08:26
Speaker
Like I'm coming with citations, APA and MLA style, you know, whichever one you prefer.
00:08:31
Speaker
I'm a voracious reader and I have a pretty good memory for names and titles.
00:08:36
Speaker
And I think that's something that we could always use more of, a bit more of an academic approach to our arguments and our discourses, just because we always want to be taken seriously, right?
00:08:44
Speaker
And I think too often in the world of even YouTube or podcasts, people just, they want to express their opinions, but they don't want to provide the foundations, the foundational argument.
00:08:54
Speaker
And I was like, I've got all that.
00:08:56
Speaker
Why don't I just why don't I just give it a shot?
00:08:58
Speaker
In fact, upcoming and the rest of our discussion, we're going to get into the ins and outs of this year.
00:09:02
Speaker
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
00:09:04
Speaker
And one of the ins is the audacity.
00:09:07
Speaker
And that's what I told myself.
00:09:08
Speaker
I was like, Maria, you just you just go and have the audacity.
00:09:11
Speaker
You just give it a try and see what the cards fall where they may.
00:09:15
Speaker
And now here we are.
00:09:16
Speaker
We are free and we are very glad you did apply.
00:09:19
Speaker
Thank you.
00:09:20
Speaker
Yeah.
00:09:21
Speaker
Thank you so much.
00:09:22
Speaker
I just couldn't be more delighted.
00:09:23
Speaker
I'm so tickled.
00:09:24
Speaker
Like, even if this is all that happens, this is still a dream come true.
00:09:27
Speaker
Honestly, I feel like I'm in the presence of a minor celebrity, but who should be a major celebrity?
00:09:33
Speaker
Like, why are you not all over the world and the internet?
00:09:36
Speaker
Maybe, you know, privacy is probably important to you, but.
00:09:40
Speaker
I'm just a random loser from England.
00:09:43
Speaker
Celebrity.
00:09:43
Speaker
Remember, we're going to have the audacity, Savannah.
00:09:46
Speaker
Don't you dare self-describe.
00:09:48
Speaker
Yes.
00:09:49
Speaker
True.
00:09:50
Speaker
I mean, I should be on par with, I don't know, Princess Diana in terms of popularity.
00:09:54
Speaker
There we go.
00:09:54
Speaker
Audacity.
00:09:57
Speaker
At least Meghan Markle.
00:09:58
Speaker
At least Meghan Markle.
00:10:00
Speaker
There we go.
00:10:01
Speaker
2024 audacity.
00:10:02
Speaker
I should be as popular as Meghan Markle, if not more so.
00:10:05
Speaker
Thank you.
00:10:06
Speaker
Yes, I affirm you.
00:10:10
Speaker
So that leads us nicely then onto, I guess, the meat and potatoes of this episode.
Optimism and Opportunities for 2024
00:10:14
Speaker
And we are talking about the ins and outs of 2024.
00:10:18
Speaker
I've seen this list floating around on Instagram and I thought that looked quite interesting.
00:10:22
Speaker
I haven't seen that before.
00:10:24
Speaker
And I wasn't too sure because like going into 2024, you know, I'm not,
00:10:28
Speaker
sure, like how you felt about this, Rose, but I just went into 2024 feeling like this is going to be just a really, really good year.
00:10:37
Speaker
23 was a decent year, at least for me anyway.
00:10:42
Speaker
Like there was a lot of change and transition.
00:10:44
Speaker
So I changed jobs several times and I found myself transitioning into the role of basically
00:10:50
Speaker
you know, full-time care for both of my parents who became quite unwell last year as well.
00:10:54
Speaker
So it was very bittersweet.
00:10:56
Speaker
But coming into 2024, I just feel quite optimistic.
00:11:00
Speaker
Like there's so much opportunity and hope.
00:11:03
Speaker
Not how you feel about that, Rose.
00:11:05
Speaker
I love hope.
00:11:06
Speaker
I think hope, I mean, we have to be aware of hopeium, you know.
00:11:11
Speaker
But I feel there is a certain radical potential in holding on to whatever form of hope
00:11:18
Speaker
keeps you moving forward.
Dating Principles and Societal Pressures
00:11:21
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
00:11:21
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
00:11:22
Speaker
Because remember, nothing pleases those in power more than the beaten down hopelessness of resigned masses.
00:11:29
Speaker
Exactly.
00:11:30
Speaker
Exactly.
00:11:31
Speaker
And I think that, especially seeing as we're sort of, I can't believe it's been almost four years since COVID now, but I think we are starting to see, and I don't know if you've also noticed this as well, Rose, but we're also starting to see, or at least I've been starting to see, like FDS principles being embedded into wider dating principles out in the wild.
00:11:51
Speaker
So things like
00:11:52
Speaker
don't let him waste your time or you know is being said a lot more openly and freely you know was perhaps you know two three years ago when it was still very much that the wonderful or just communicate advice I think that's absolutely right yeah there's definitely been like a paradigm shift in you know male female relations which I'm totally here for because it's long overdue
00:12:16
Speaker
I'm absolutely 100% co-signing that.
00:12:18
Speaker
And also, I think one of the ways we can look for evidence to support this assumption or theory is that, have you not noticed how many more articles from major publications David Brooks, New York Times have?
00:12:32
Speaker
Forbes and some of their financial writers, they're all talking about how women just need to settle and get married because that's how you have a healthy and happy society.
00:12:41
Speaker
They're getting desperate.
00:12:42
Speaker
That's why they're getting desperate.
00:12:44
Speaker
That's right.
00:12:45
Speaker
So I think that shows me, you know, they're responding to a sort of ground swelling and now it's reaching its way to the upper echelons, right?
00:12:52
Speaker
So I think there's some evidence there.
00:12:55
Speaker
Definitely, definitely.
00:12:57
Speaker
So if we start with then the ins then, I mean, this is just a general list and it'll be interesting to see what our listeners think should be in their own list.
00:13:05
Speaker
But Rose and I started compiling this before the episode.
00:13:09
Speaker
So I guess the first in for me anyway is prioritising self-care.
00:13:14
Speaker
I know that sounds really...
00:13:16
Speaker
quite basic and cliche but when I think about self-care I'm not only talking about you know luxury spa days or you know using expensive bath bombs or whatever even though that is you know partially part of it like I will admit like I have like an illegal amount of bath and shower products so that's definitely I love my smellies exactly it's just I mean there's like worst things I could be addicted to so
00:13:44
Speaker
And you know what, why can't we have our little frivolities, you know?
00:13:47
Speaker
But I think you're referring to something even deeper though, aren't you Savannah?
00:13:51
Speaker
Yeah, definitely.
00:13:52
Speaker
Definitely.
00:13:53
Speaker
I think that, you know, self-care is also about, you know, prioritizing yourself, you know, not just in, you know, your official self-care or like pamper sessions, but in everyday life as well.
00:14:05
Speaker
And really becoming attuned to what it is you want and need, not just from yourself, but from other people and having the confidence to go after that.
00:14:15
Speaker
That's such a good point.
00:14:16
Speaker
I think the other people is really key because part of self-care is like we have to do it ourselves, but it's also learning we can and must allow others to care for us.
00:14:29
Speaker
Agreed.
00:14:30
Speaker
And that for me is very difficult.
00:14:32
Speaker
I think I've gotten this from you as well.
00:14:33
Speaker
Like you're a giver, you're somebody who's very loving and caring.
00:14:37
Speaker
I mean, to take time and care for your ailing parents is the ultimate sacrifice of love, right?
00:14:44
Speaker
but it didn't sound like you hesitated for a second.
00:14:46
Speaker
And that is very telling about your character.
00:14:49
Speaker
But for example, when you do something like that, when you care for parents who are ailing, you know, you need the neighbors to bring by some dishes of food that are prepared.
00:14:57
Speaker
You need somebody to run to the grocery store and pick you up some groceries and maybe bring you a bouquet of flowers just to brighten your day a little.
00:15:04
Speaker
Right.
00:15:05
Speaker
And I think that's something as women that we almost feel we're not worthy or we're not deserving.
00:15:10
Speaker
And I think that's part of the shift of a healthier relationship
00:15:14
Speaker
notion of self-care writ large.
00:15:17
Speaker
Completely agree.
00:15:18
Speaker
And, you know, it's also about understanding that the fact that you have your needs and your wants, it's not necessarily a bad thing.
00:15:25
Speaker
I think it's a completely different question if the other person is able to meet that particular need or want.
00:15:32
Speaker
But if they can't for whatever reason, that doesn't mean that that particular need or want is wrong.
00:15:37
Speaker
It just means that they can't meet it for whatever reason.
00:15:40
Speaker
And shifting my focus away from people potentially saying, you know, no.
00:15:46
Speaker
And, you know, me feeling like, you know, I shouldn't have asked for it or I'm asking for too much to actually I've asked for it, you know.
00:15:53
Speaker
It is something that is important to me.
00:15:55
Speaker
And if that person, you know, can't provide it for whatever reason, that's fine.
00:15:59
Speaker
But that's not necessarily anything to do with me.
00:16:01
Speaker
That's more to do with them and whatever resource or capacity that they have to be able to provide in that moment as well.
00:16:09
Speaker
So it's also about not taking on other people's stuff as well.
00:16:14
Speaker
Well, actually, that leads really smoothly into our next point, Savannah.
00:16:18
Speaker
And one of the other ends you mentioned was maintaining our standards and our boundaries.
Standards, Boundaries, and Backlash
00:16:22
Speaker
And so here, maintaining standards is even if I ask for something and it's not able to be given by such and such person, it doesn't mean these standards are invalid or not worthy of being met.
00:16:33
Speaker
It just means that
00:16:35
Speaker
There has to be somebody else or there's some other way in which these standards can be met and maintained.
00:16:40
Speaker
Exactly.
00:16:41
Speaker
And boundaries, how do we maintain boundaries?
00:16:44
Speaker
I think it's always useful every so often to do almost like an audit of your standards and boundaries to understand, you know, why do I believe in this?
00:16:55
Speaker
You know, why do I believe in that?
00:16:56
Speaker
Why is this a standard for me?
00:16:58
Speaker
Why is this a boundary for me?
00:16:59
Speaker
Because one thing I've realised as I've become older and hopefully a bit more wiser is that you as a person will change.
00:17:07
Speaker
And as a result, your preferences will change as well.
00:17:10
Speaker
And sometimes,
00:17:11
Speaker
You know, previous beliefs are just not going to serve you anymore.
00:17:14
Speaker
And that is absolutely fine.
00:17:16
Speaker
I think it will be deeply problematic if you went from the ages of 18 to 64 and your beliefs and standards and boundaries were exactly the same.
00:17:24
Speaker
I think that is, that's indicative that something is very wrong there.
00:17:30
Speaker
And so it's always good to do that audit and to honestly, again, going back to self-care, to think about, okay, does this, you know, standard or belief still serve me?
00:17:40
Speaker
I'll give an example.
00:17:41
Speaker
So a standard for me is that every guy a day has to be taller than me.
00:17:45
Speaker
And I did actually think about it.
00:17:46
Speaker
Can I see myself with a shorter guy?
00:17:47
Speaker
The answer was still no.
00:17:49
Speaker
So that standard is still in place.
00:17:52
Speaker
That's such an excellent example.
00:17:54
Speaker
You know, we're talking about this pushback girls are getting and women are getting, right, is like, how dare you want a six foot tall,
00:18:00
Speaker
six-figure Chad or Brad, right?
00:18:03
Speaker
And first of all, when did our standards around our romantic partners become so subject to what males say they should be, right?
00:18:13
Speaker
Isn't it not our standards?
00:18:15
Speaker
I think that shift happened, though, when women became more comfortable vocalising what their standards and boundaries are.
00:18:21
Speaker
And, you know, it's almost like the neo-feminist backlashes.
00:18:25
Speaker
You know, whenever a woman states a boundary or a standard, no matter how mundane, even if it's something like, I don't want to come home from a full day of work and cook my husband a meal after we've both been at work all day and I'm shattered, you know,
00:18:38
Speaker
For example, men and sometimes women, they join in as well.
00:18:40
Speaker
I should acknowledge that.
00:18:42
Speaker
You know, jumping in to say why she's being unreasonable.
00:18:44
Speaker
And ultimately, it goes back to what you said, Rose, about the concept of, you know, free speech and women's speech, especially being under attack in that way.
00:18:53
Speaker
And, you know, here's what women need to realize.
00:18:56
Speaker
No matter what we say we want or don't want, it will be met with contempt and derision and stonewalling.
00:19:03
Speaker
That's their playbook.
00:19:05
Speaker
That playbook has not changed.
00:19:07
Speaker
You know, there is a feminist, Lear Keith.
00:19:10
Speaker
She wrote a book called The Vegetarian Myth, Food, Justice, and Sustainability.
00:19:14
Speaker
And there was a YouTube clip she has about nonviolent direct action and how that can be applicable to the feminist movements.
00:19:20
Speaker
And in one of these pictures, she was showing the suffragettes of England in 1908 and pictures of them being force-fed during their hunger strike.
00:19:29
Speaker
basically tortured, right?
00:19:31
Speaker
And I was just thinking, you know, that was barely 100 years ago.
00:19:35
Speaker
The right to vote has hardly even been a shrine for that long for us.
00:19:40
Speaker
And so I think we tend, our historical conscious tends to compress and forget that we have suffered so much and been tortured so much.
00:19:49
Speaker
And so to even dare ask for a man to brush his teeth or wash his ass.
00:19:55
Speaker
Oh my gosh.
00:19:56
Speaker
The...
00:19:57
Speaker
Oh my gosh.
00:19:59
Speaker
We've all read those.
00:20:00
Speaker
You know, can I ask, my husband hasn't brushed his teeth in three years.
00:20:04
Speaker
Can I ask him to visit the dentist?
00:20:06
Speaker
Like, dare I?
00:20:08
Speaker
Right?
00:20:09
Speaker
I'm going to jump ahead because honestly, this has to be an out, out, out, out for 2024.
00:20:15
Speaker
We are not associating with Dettie Pigs.
00:20:19
Speaker
Dettie Pigs.
00:20:21
Speaker
This just has to just stop.
00:20:22
Speaker
Like, just, ugh.
00:20:23
Speaker
Ugh.
00:20:25
Speaker
Yep.
00:20:26
Speaker
We must shift the market.
00:20:27
Speaker
Market demands include good hygiene, right?
00:20:32
Speaker
And the self-care of our partner.
00:20:34
Speaker
Like, Rose, this is just embarrassing.
00:20:37
Speaker
This even needs to be said out loud.
00:20:38
Speaker
It's like, it's literally embarrassing.
00:20:40
Speaker
But yeah.
00:20:41
Speaker
Floss your teeth, brush your teeth, bathe your genitals, you know, with water and soap.
00:20:48
Speaker
Every day.
00:20:50
Speaker
And a sponge.
00:20:51
Speaker
I mean, like, using your hands to spread the gel is not, that's not getting you clean.
00:20:56
Speaker
You need to scrub that skin.
00:20:57
Speaker
Like, scrub it.
00:20:59
Speaker
You know what?
00:21:00
Speaker
We might need to have our own podcast on, like, appropriate hygiene.
00:21:04
Speaker
Because apparently it's up for discussion these days.
00:21:09
Speaker
How to wash your body.
00:21:10
Speaker
No, seriously, but I just, I mean, as an aside, I generally don't think that a lot of people are generally taught like how to be fresh and clean.
00:21:19
Speaker
So maybe that will be a future episode one day.
00:21:22
Speaker
Honestly, to continue this aside, and then we can get back to our list, which because this is also flows nicely into our next in.
00:21:29
Speaker
But I find it especially interesting, the notion of like hygiene and sanitation between race and class, right?
00:21:38
Speaker
Because I know, for example, the Black American community here in the United States has very stringent standards for hygiene and self-care.
00:21:48
Speaker
And yet there's still often, you know, there's like the historical goo that will find any reason to say, you know, your hair is this or, you know, you're doing that wrong.
00:21:58
Speaker
Or we're not supposed to use shea butter.
00:22:01
Speaker
You're supposed to use, you know, lanolin.
00:22:03
Speaker
What have you.
00:22:04
Speaker
The point is, they're always being patrolled as if they don't know how to appropriately be clean.
00:22:10
Speaker
When if you look at a lot of like white Hollywood, and they talk about like, oh, we don't bathe our kids.
00:22:16
Speaker
And like, we think it's good for their immune system.
00:22:18
Speaker
Yeah.
00:22:21
Speaker
Ashton and Meala.
00:22:23
Speaker
Yes.
00:22:23
Speaker
And they're not the only ones, you know, or like, you know, how many wealthy white Hollywood people are like, we don't believe in vaccines.
00:22:29
Speaker
Whereas like, if you're on the South side of Chicago, for example, like everybody, the free clinics are constantly overrun and overbooked because it's a matter of life or death in those communities.
00:22:40
Speaker
You know, so I really think there's, there are very interesting intersections around race and class when it comes to hygiene, but that could absolutely be its own episode.
00:22:48
Speaker
Let's continue on though, with our next in.
00:22:51
Speaker
What is our next in Savannah?
00:22:53
Speaker
It's having more audacity and, you know, not just having any amount of audacity, but having the audacity of a male billionaire.
Audacity and Financial Literacy
00:23:02
Speaker
Yes.
00:23:02
Speaker
We want us all to have all the audacity.
00:23:08
Speaker
In the world, we don't just want the audacity of a mediocre white man or, as you noted, a guy who doesn't wash his ass.
00:23:14
Speaker
We want the audacity of a Jeff Bezos, of a Bill Gates, of a Donald Trump.
00:23:23
Speaker
Just look at them having all the audacity has gotten them.
00:23:27
Speaker
I mean, and like when we talk about audacity, I'm not necessarily meaning it in like the brash, disrespectful, like manner.
00:23:34
Speaker
I mean, audacity in terms of taking bold risks, because that's, you know, audacity has a dual meaning.
00:23:40
Speaker
It can mean being disrespectful, which a lot of the men we've just mentioned are.
00:23:43
Speaker
But also, if we look at what they do, they take very, very bold risks.
00:23:48
Speaker
So if we use Donald Trump as an example, they're
00:23:50
Speaker
Him deciding to run for president, that was a very, very bold risk that he took that ultimately and unfortunately to the misery of billions around the globe paid off in his favour.
00:24:01
Speaker
And I feel like women often, you know, we can doubt our abilities and, you know, doubt our perceptions and, you know, doubt our own instincts as well.
00:24:11
Speaker
And just like having that audacity to be like, I'm going to take this risk.
00:24:14
Speaker
And if it works out, great.
00:24:16
Speaker
If it doesn't, I'll still be OK.
00:24:18
Speaker
and to keep pushing forward is something that I wish for every woman because your life will be totally transformed when you start taking more calculated risks.
00:24:27
Speaker
Exactly.
00:24:28
Speaker
I couldn't have said it better.
00:24:29
Speaker
And just as an example, look at me having the audacity to apply for this podcast position.
00:24:35
Speaker
Whether I get it or not, I never even thought I'd get past the first round.
00:24:39
Speaker
And yet here we are, and I'm recording with Savannah in 2024.
00:24:43
Speaker
This is what the audacity gets you, girlies.
00:24:46
Speaker
And I need you to internalize this, and I need you to manifest this, and I need you to meditate on this because...
00:24:55
Speaker
If there is one thing that women need, it is all the audacity.
00:24:59
Speaker
It's just more audacity.
00:25:00
Speaker
Like we have the ability, we have the talent, we have the intelligence, we have the wit, the humor, whatever.
00:25:07
Speaker
And it's just really, really just like trying to take us to the next level by just being more audacious.
00:25:12
Speaker
We lack nothing but the audacity.
00:25:14
Speaker
So that's what we're going to add into this mix going forward.
00:25:17
Speaker
Love that.
00:25:18
Speaker
Yes.
00:25:19
Speaker
Okay.
00:25:19
Speaker
So next up in our ends, financial literacy.
00:25:23
Speaker
This one is a big, big topic.
00:25:24
Speaker
And again, this could be its own podcast episode because it is such that finances for women, there could be such a disparity on so many levels between the financial situations of men and the financial situations of women.
00:25:39
Speaker
Some of it is partly due to things like sexism.
00:25:42
Speaker
So men on average tend to earn more money.
00:25:44
Speaker
You know, some of it can also be potentially down to life choices as well.
00:25:50
Speaker
And being financially literate isn't necessarily about earning loads of money.
00:25:55
Speaker
There are many people who earn a lot of money who are not very financially literate.
00:25:59
Speaker
It's also not about like necessarily like taking on the conventional financial advice.
00:26:05
Speaker
Being financially literate is
00:26:08
Speaker
Being able to weigh up all the options, financial options, you know, that are available to you and making the best decision that is right for your particular circumstances.
00:26:17
Speaker
You know, for example, there is a big debate in the UK and I suspect around the world, you know, even where you are, Rose, around, you know, whether it's appropriate to rent or to get a mortgage or to buy a property.
00:26:30
Speaker
Now, for most people, getting a mortgage, it might be a good idea because it gives you security.
00:26:36
Speaker
You can get on the property ladder, you know, build all that wonderful wealth, yada, yada.
00:26:40
Speaker
But, you know, for some people, renting might actually be the better option because of their own individual circumstances.
00:26:47
Speaker
And being financially literate is being able to understand when perhaps conventional, you know, financial advice, it may or may not apply to you as well.
00:26:56
Speaker
It's true.
00:26:57
Speaker
We really haven't updated...
00:26:59
Speaker
the financial rubric around housing to reflect our current circumstances, right?
00:27:02
Speaker
Because the housing that's tending to be built is higher income.
00:27:05
Speaker
Like in my neighborhood right here, I live in a relatively wealthy neighborhood, far wealthier than I actually should be in.
00:27:11
Speaker
But I found a steal of a deal on a studio and I've just stuck out.
00:27:15
Speaker
I'm just hung on with my fingernails.
00:27:16
Speaker
But now I'm actually looking to buy because my concern is at some point the landlord is going to die.
00:27:20
Speaker
God bless him.
00:27:21
Speaker
You know, he's old.
00:27:22
Speaker
He's been through bouts, multiple bouts of prostate cancer.
00:27:25
Speaker
You know, he can only hold on for so long.
00:27:27
Speaker
And I was just looking at, there are some new buildings being built just a couple blocks from me.
00:27:32
Speaker
And they're going for the low, low price starting of $750,000 on up.
00:27:37
Speaker
And that is the kind of housing, if any, that is being constructed.
00:27:40
Speaker
Mixed income housing, elder care, mixed with like college dorm housing.
00:27:45
Speaker
None of this is being constructed.
00:27:48
Speaker
And so people are forced into this sort of false binary of mortgage, no mortgage, or, you
00:27:53
Speaker
you know, precarity or some semblance of security, right?
00:27:58
Speaker
So financial literacy, I mean, this actually goes into what my next in, our next in is, actually it's the other one, learning how to use your local library and its resources.
00:28:10
Speaker
This is your best friend if you want to learn about financial literacy and buff up on that, because I don't think that's taught in, that's not taught in any of our high schools or colleges, right?
00:28:22
Speaker
No, and it's by design, because if you keep people financially illiterate for the most part, that's only going to benefit the uber wealthy.
00:28:31
Speaker
And people won't be able to realize when something is a bad deal.
00:28:36
Speaker
And especially, I don't know about you, Rose, but a lot of these financial gurus online, they just don't know what they're talking about half the time.
00:28:44
Speaker
I was going to say, talk to your librarian and ask them what they might recommend if you're feeling uncertain.
00:28:50
Speaker
Yeah, you need to go back to reading books.
00:28:52
Speaker
Like, I mean, you're not going to find stellar or you will rarely find like quality financial advice from these internet like financial advisors.
00:29:03
Speaker
Yeah, don't go to YouTube.
00:29:04
Speaker
Don't go to TikTok.
00:29:06
Speaker
Go to the library.
00:29:07
Speaker
Yeah, yeah.
00:29:08
Speaker
Go to the library and actually read a book because if these guys are actually successful at what they were doing, they would not be trying to make a struggle YouTube channel to tell other people how to become wealthy when they are not wealthy themselves.
00:29:20
Speaker
Well, and if you do like, I mean, I know a lot of libraries have come a far way as long as it comes to like filtering formulas.
00:29:27
Speaker
So for me, one thing I did is I went and I was like women, finances, and I, you know, narrowed it down to the last five or 10 years and just looked and saw what came up.
00:29:37
Speaker
If anything had reviews, sort of cross-checked against maybe any online presence or just learning about, you know, their author bio to learn a little more.
00:29:45
Speaker
And that's how I started to compile a list.
00:29:47
Speaker
And I basically only...
00:29:49
Speaker
red female advisors as far as financial literacy, because they have a totally different take and understanding about the unique challenges that women face.
00:29:58
Speaker
Like I can listen to Dave Ramsey, but he's coming from a heteropatriarchal construct, right?
00:30:04
Speaker
And Dave Ramsey, he's just full of shit.
00:30:07
Speaker
I think the debt snowball method is really good.
00:30:11
Speaker
But I mean, all the other stuff he says, it's very boomer.
00:30:16
Speaker
If you work really hard, you can build generational wealth.
00:30:19
Speaker
And it's not that straightforward anymore, unfortunately.
00:30:23
Speaker
He's just like one of those classic, you know, Christo patriarchs where like the Lord will provide if you just put your head down and you've got your little woman at home.
00:30:32
Speaker
It's like, what world are you in, sir?
00:30:33
Speaker
I think he's in Texas.
00:30:34
Speaker
So that makes sense.
00:30:35
Speaker
But so if you are going to the library and you're talking to librarians and you're even talking to your girlfriends, that's one thing I've been trying to do with my girlfriends.
00:30:42
Speaker
Like, what are you doing with the Roth IRA?
00:30:45
Speaker
Are you like doing mutual funds?
00:30:47
Speaker
What's your take on like a mortgage versus a high income savings yield?
00:30:51
Speaker
You know, I'm trying to get myself.
00:30:53
Speaker
up and running with that.
00:30:54
Speaker
And I wish I'd started sooner.
00:30:56
Speaker
And this is that proverb where like, when's the best time to plant a tree 70 years ago?
00:31:01
Speaker
When's the next best time today?
00:31:04
Speaker
And so to all of our wonderful listeners, this is what I encourage you.
00:31:08
Speaker
It doesn't matter if you've lost out quote unquote on time, there's no better time than now to get going on that.
00:31:13
Speaker
And this ties into our next in, which is detoxing from social media.
Digital Detox and Female Communities
00:31:17
Speaker
If you have a physical book in your hand, if you have a pile of books,
00:31:21
Speaker
waiting for you to get through.
00:31:22
Speaker
And you don't have to read every word and every chapter.
00:31:25
Speaker
You can go through and see what chapter looks interesting to you.
00:31:28
Speaker
Maybe just read the intro or the conclusion, and you can tell if it's going to be applicable to your sort of circumstances.
00:31:33
Speaker
But it is time for us to put things down from our hands, unless it is a book or some sort of, you know, academic journal, and just be done and give yourself, give that brain time to detox and
00:31:48
Speaker
Come back to the world of grass and of slow clouds moving across the horizon.
00:31:56
Speaker
Basically go outside and get off the capes.
00:31:58
Speaker
Go outside and touch grass.
00:32:02
Speaker
But honestly, like it does like, I didn't realise because I took a unplanned hiatus from Exfer, I think from end of October to like early December.
00:32:13
Speaker
And I just realised how like, I just didn't miss being on that website at all.
00:32:18
Speaker
And even now, even though I'm a bit more active on it again, but I try to limit my time on there because it's just like, it almost feels like they just put like the worst of the worst in front of you.
00:32:31
Speaker
They do.
00:32:31
Speaker
It's a formula.
00:32:33
Speaker
There is an algorithm that they have discovered, which is what is driving all of these like far right tater tot bros on YouTube and other because it drives the most engagement because it's outrage clicks.
00:32:45
Speaker
And that's how people start down those paths.
00:32:47
Speaker
Right.
00:32:48
Speaker
Elon Musk has noted this and now he is in bed with fascists because that is how capitalism continues to align itself with power and wealth.
00:32:56
Speaker
100 percent.
00:32:57
Speaker
100 percent.
00:33:00
Speaker
Good for you.
00:33:00
Speaker
Well done.
00:33:01
Speaker
It's definitely important to just take, just to go offline, I think, from time to time and to reconnect with the actual world that you live in.
00:33:09
Speaker
And turn to your other women.
00:33:13
Speaker
Start building female collectives.
00:33:16
Speaker
And this is our next point.
00:33:17
Speaker
And the point after that.
00:33:19
Speaker
Female supremacy.
00:33:20
Speaker
Female supremacy.
00:33:22
Speaker
It's real and it's here.
00:33:24
Speaker
It is ascendant.
00:33:25
Speaker
And it's time we all start to realize that and to continue to push this forward.
00:33:30
Speaker
Because listen, we're always going to have pushback from the status quo and from, you know, evil mustache twirling patriarchs.
00:33:36
Speaker
Yeah.
00:33:39
Speaker
I'd say, like, struggle beard patriarchs now because a lot of them can't even grow beards due to low testosterone.
00:33:45
Speaker
But... LAUGHTER
00:33:48
Speaker
It's so true.
00:33:49
Speaker
All these plastic phthalates and whatnot in our waters.
00:33:52
Speaker
Oh my gosh, it's a nightmare.
00:33:54
Speaker
And so if you can, you know, make sure you're drinking filtered water, you know, make sure that you're looking at the shampoos and the moisturizers.
00:34:01
Speaker
That's part of the self-care.
00:34:02
Speaker
Like try to keep out as many, you know, toxins as you can because it's poisonous world out there.
00:34:08
Speaker
And this is why we need other women because other women restore us.
00:34:13
Speaker
Other women help us heal.
00:34:15
Speaker
Other women bring us joy.
00:34:16
Speaker
And they also help us.
00:34:18
Speaker
be the best version of ourselves.
00:34:20
Speaker
And isn't that what we want in 2024?
00:34:23
Speaker
100% and you know when I say also supporting other women I don't mean yes queeding when they're making objectively bad choices I mean supporting other women can also be in the form of not necessarily calling them out but you know pushing back if they're saying something that is misogynistic or you know sharing you know good resources on like feminism with them providing you know they're receptive as well it isn't I feel like
00:34:51
Speaker
FDS was sometimes accused of being like a mean girls club because we just refused to mollycoddle women who are making bad choices.
00:34:58
Speaker
And sometimes, you know, that is, you know, the best support that you can give somebody is to actually say like, hey, this isn't a great idea.
00:35:06
Speaker
This is what you can do differently.
00:35:07
Speaker
Doesn't mean that you hate them, but it sometimes means that you just want to, that you want them to do better.
00:35:14
Speaker
I mean, have you ever had a friend tell you like,
00:35:16
Speaker
Hey, this guy you're seeing, I don't know, he's just said some really off things.
00:35:20
Speaker
Or they're like, you know, I see the way your brother is treating you and I don't think that's okay.
00:35:24
Speaker
If you've ever had a friend say that to you, you know they're a true friend.
00:35:27
Speaker
Because they're sticking their neck out to show you how much they care.
00:35:31
Speaker
And that's the kind of friend I want, you know?
00:35:33
Speaker
I don't want just like a yes woman.
00:35:35
Speaker
I want somebody, if you weren't lucky enough to have a wonderful mother like I did, and it sounds like you have a really good one too, Savannah.
00:35:42
Speaker
I just had the sweetest, most loving woman and she had her issues because she's human, but really she only wanted what was best for me.
00:35:50
Speaker
And that is the kind of energy I want us to bring to our other friends.
00:35:54
Speaker
If you're making the wrong choices, like your mom would say something to you if she had that sort of maternal care instinct.
00:36:01
Speaker
Are you sure?
00:36:02
Speaker
Have you considered?
00:36:03
Speaker
You're not coming at it with like this audacious brass brashness where you're like, I'm shaming you.
00:36:08
Speaker
No, no, no, no.
00:36:09
Speaker
That's not the energy.
00:36:10
Speaker
The energy is
00:36:11
Speaker
I love and care about you.
00:36:12
Speaker
Are you loving and caring for yourself with these choices?
00:36:17
Speaker
I mean, sometimes I'll caveat that a bit by saying like, I do feel like shame needs to be brought back in small doses in 2024.
00:36:24
Speaker
I just feel like... Savannah, don't get me started.
00:36:28
Speaker
Oh, we forgot to put that on our ends.
00:36:30
Speaker
I have been saying for over 15 years, we need to bring shame back.
00:36:34
Speaker
I love to shame... We need to bring back shame.
00:36:37
Speaker
I love to shame people when it's called for.
00:36:40
Speaker
And I'm not coming at it from like a place of malignancy or maliciousness.
00:36:44
Speaker
No, no.
00:36:45
Speaker
You have done something that should be shamed.
00:36:48
Speaker
I am going to be happy to shame you.
00:36:50
Speaker
You need to be like, because I completely agree because that's the reason, you know, you know why we now have things like kink shaming
Social Norms and Accountability
00:36:57
Speaker
in quotation marks when people are horrified that, you know, that you're, that you're sharing your kinks unprompted.
00:37:03
Speaker
Like I do feel like a healthy dose of shame.
00:37:06
Speaker
It also keeps, it also maintains the social order, which is not necessarily a bad thing now.
00:37:12
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:37:13
Speaker
People, we live in a society, okay?
00:37:15
Speaker
I don't need to know about your furry proclivities in your private bedroom, okay?
00:37:20
Speaker
And so, don't they say this on FDS, my kink is kink shaming?
00:37:25
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:37:26
Speaker
Yeah.
00:37:26
Speaker
Well, I mean, I guess that's the only reason I was to say my kink is kink shaming and my kink is also financial domination of men.
00:37:35
Speaker
Weirdly enough, though, those are the two most
00:37:38
Speaker
But weirdly enough, though, those are the two most maligned kinks.
00:37:43
Speaker
Funny how that works, right?
00:37:45
Speaker
And this leads to what we're talking about.
00:37:47
Speaker
Like, how much free speech do we have these days when we're not allowed to shame people when they're being inappropriate, right?
00:37:53
Speaker
100%.
00:37:53
Speaker
It's just absurd.
00:37:54
Speaker
We live in a society.
00:37:56
Speaker
We live in a society, okay?
00:37:58
Speaker
You want all the benefits?
00:37:59
Speaker
That means there are some social norms and mores that we must adhere to.
00:38:03
Speaker
And that's just how it goes.
00:38:04
Speaker
I didn't make the rules, you know?
00:38:07
Speaker
Exactly.
00:38:07
Speaker
And it's just, you know, I'm not saying we should do like the Handmaid's Tale and be chasing people with a bell saying shame, shame, shame, unless it's really bad.
00:38:16
Speaker
I mean, I do have some bells, you know, but...
00:38:20
Speaker
But people like to carry handguns around here.
00:38:22
Speaker
So maybe that's but you know, I'm definitely happy to tsk.
00:38:25
Speaker
I'll tsk tsk.
00:38:26
Speaker
I'll shake a finger like an old school marm.
00:38:29
Speaker
And it's surprisingly effective because people aren't used to being shamed.
00:38:33
Speaker
They're like, I don't I don't know what to do.
00:38:34
Speaker
But I feel a certain way.
00:38:35
Speaker
I'm like, yes, you feel ashamed.
00:38:37
Speaker
And that is how you should feel.
00:38:39
Speaker
And you should feel.
00:38:39
Speaker
Yeah.
00:38:41
Speaker
Feel it.
00:38:42
Speaker
Feel all of it.
00:38:45
Speaker
Learn from it.
00:38:52
Speaker
It's just like when people in BDSM say, I was shaved with my kink.
00:38:54
Speaker
I'm like, well, yeah, you should feel ashamed.
00:38:57
Speaker
Those are the right people.
00:38:59
Speaker
You should thank them.
00:39:01
Speaker
The emotional feeling is correct.
00:39:05
Speaker
So yeah, small healthy doses of shame back to being, and just yeah, uplifting women as well.
00:39:12
Speaker
So refreshing.
00:39:13
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:39:14
Speaker
I'm 100% in agreement.
00:39:15
Speaker
Are we going to move on to our final in?
00:39:18
Speaker
Yes, it will be FDS.
FDS Expansion and Feminism Discourse
00:39:20
Speaker
The keenest female dating person.
00:39:24
Speaker
Only podcast on the internet.
00:39:26
Speaker
As I'm sure you've all aware, and I'm sure you've all missed us terribly, Ro and I took a hiatus towards, thank you, we took a hiatus towards the quarter four of 2023 because, you know, life took over and I actually clocked that this would be the fourth year of the podcast because we started in, wow, wow.
00:39:52
Speaker
flowers, full flowers.
00:39:54
Speaker
You've made this happen for four years.
00:39:56
Speaker
That is an achievement.
00:39:58
Speaker
Yeah, actually, we started recording in November 2020, released the first episode in March 21.
00:40:03
Speaker
So it's been almost about four years in the making.
00:40:07
Speaker
But we are keen to really get the podcast back on the road and recognising our time limitations.
00:40:16
Speaker
It's also, again, part of the reason why we put out a call from new podcast hosts, not only because we both feel like we are now broken records, but
00:40:25
Speaker
It would also be good to get a fresh perspective, you know, with hosts who are able to dedicate time to producing the podcast every week or twice a week, you know, whilst like Ro and I focus on hopefully expanding FDS and making it bigger than it is.
00:40:39
Speaker
So we have hopefully a couple of touchwood big projects in the pipeline that we hope to...
00:40:46
Speaker
Are there some things in anticipation that could be happening?
00:40:50
Speaker
There is.
00:40:51
Speaker
There is.
00:40:52
Speaker
I can't say too much.
00:40:54
Speaker
I think that's like the standard like Hollywood line.
00:40:56
Speaker
I can't say too much about this right now.
00:41:00
Speaker
It's coming soon.
00:41:01
Speaker
But yeah, we have some really, really big plans for the, you know, not just the podcast, but the brand.
00:41:07
Speaker
So we're hoping that will really take shape in 24th.
00:41:10
Speaker
More than ever, Savannah, more than like you were saying, I do think there is this, well, I called it a Grantswell.
00:41:15
Speaker
There is a paradigm shift that is happening.
00:41:18
Speaker
And the more we can get FDS out there, the more well received, because I've been seeing on some, like there's a YouTuber I really like, Manifestel.
00:41:26
Speaker
the Spoiled Girly Support Group.
00:41:28
Speaker
I got to give her a shout out.
00:41:29
Speaker
She's fantastic.
00:41:30
Speaker
And sometimes she'll feature like TikToks of women talking about feminism or talking about their relationship within the confines of it.
00:41:37
Speaker
And I've never seen or heard so much in my entire life of women talking to one another and really starting to look at the structural underpinnings that are keeping us in chains.
00:41:50
Speaker
Right?
00:41:50
Speaker
So I cannot wait to hear
00:41:53
Speaker
from you and roll with your new initiatives.
00:41:55
Speaker
That's really exciting to hear.
00:41:57
Speaker
Yes, yes.
00:41:59
Speaker
And, you know, one thing that made me almost do a double take was like when I venture into the cesspit that is Reddit, even though the FDS subreddit has now been inactive almost two years now, I think we, it disappeared in May 22 in terms of being active.
00:42:16
Speaker
You still get scrotes like mentioning all the female dating strategy.
00:42:19
Speaker
So it's like, we're still living like rent free in their minds, even though we've moved off the platform.
00:42:25
Speaker
And to me, that just speaks to the impacts that
00:42:30
Speaker
the subreddit and the brand, you know, had and continues to have on the male stroke consciousness, which is exactly what we wanted.
00:42:38
Speaker
It was a beautiful, beautiful wave of righteous female fury.
00:42:42
Speaker
And that was like very poetic and very succinct.
00:42:45
Speaker
That's the other part of, you know, getting messages out is like, you don't want to ramble on like a podcast bro who is moving into our out section on the list.
Rejecting Low Effort and Minimalism
00:42:55
Speaker
Podcast bros talking over each other.
00:42:58
Speaker
Rambling on, never making the point, you know, just a chain of sentences that never go anywhere.
00:43:03
Speaker
They just want to hear the sound of their own voice.
00:43:05
Speaker
It's out.
00:43:07
Speaker
just like being like misogynist and also I feel like a lot of women um because I unfortunately like twitter slash x pushes this stupid podcast onto my feed every time I open it where this podcast bro interviews women from like only fans or women who are feminists or who are conservatives basically to just humiliate them and we need to stop giving those sorts of podcasts any sort of oxygen because
00:43:32
Speaker
whatsoever.
00:43:33
Speaker
Yeah.
00:43:33
Speaker
No eyeballs.
00:43:34
Speaker
No, like it's rage bait.
00:43:36
Speaker
They're trolling us.
00:43:37
Speaker
Do not engage.
00:43:38
Speaker
Oh, and you know what?
00:43:39
Speaker
That's also on our out list, isn't it?
00:43:41
Speaker
Yes.
00:43:42
Speaker
We're not feeding the trolls.
00:43:44
Speaker
2024.
00:43:44
Speaker
What else is out?
00:43:45
Speaker
Feeding the trolls.
00:43:47
Speaker
And you're not, you know, you're not debating your standards or your boundaries with anyone.
00:43:51
Speaker
This is mainly like more for people who come across people who regularly like to debate their boundaries, you know, whether that be on social media or offline.
00:44:00
Speaker
Because it's not, like basically I always say the people in your life that meet your standards and can honour your boundaries, they're not the ones who are complaining about them.
00:44:11
Speaker
So if somebody's complaining about your standards, just know that you're incompatible and just walk away.
00:44:17
Speaker
And know that they benefited from you not having any.
00:44:22
Speaker
Exactly.
00:44:23
Speaker
And that's a really, really good point, Rose.
00:44:24
Speaker
That's a really good point, Rose, is that you have to think about when somebody is complaining to you, saying that your standards are too high, well, your boundaries are this or that.
00:44:32
Speaker
You need to think who is benefiting from this message, because it's not going to be you.
00:44:37
Speaker
It'll be them.
00:44:38
Speaker
Moving on.
00:44:39
Speaker
What else is on our OATS list, Savannah?
00:44:41
Speaker
who've got Stanley cups and other consumer-based water accessories.
00:44:46
Speaker
I don't know what that is, Rose.
00:44:47
Speaker
What did you mean by that, Rose?
00:44:49
Speaker
What I mean by that is, you know, it has become a status symbol to have a water cup, a water mug by the Stanley brand and various other ones that are from Starbucks or Target.
00:45:03
Speaker
Like Target had some hearts,
00:45:06
Speaker
a special edition for Valentine's day water mug that there was like a run on the store.
00:45:11
Speaker
There was basically a stampede.
00:45:12
Speaker
I'm not lying.
00:45:14
Speaker
And all of this is based around like this, this stupid industry that's sprung up around water and having like the best, coolest water accessories.
00:45:24
Speaker
You only need one reusable water bottle.
00:45:26
Speaker
That's it.
00:45:27
Speaker
Make sure you cleaned it regularly.
00:45:29
Speaker
And if you want, maybe even have, I have one for home, one for the car and one for the office or the library.
00:45:36
Speaker
Okay.
00:45:36
Speaker
So I don't have to be constantly carrying it to and fro.
00:45:39
Speaker
And like, so maybe max three, but we don't need any more bottles than that.
00:45:44
Speaker
And if you want to have a coffee mug or two as well, you know, throw that on in there, but like enough of this water is free and it's readily available.
00:45:53
Speaker
Why are we manufacturing more things to carry it around with when we already have all of the vessels that we already need?
00:46:00
Speaker
That's my only point about that.
00:46:02
Speaker
Right.
00:46:03
Speaker
Um,
00:46:04
Speaker
Okay, so that is an out.
00:46:06
Speaker
That's an out.
00:46:07
Speaker
And as long as being out with, you know, we're talking about not debating your standards, not feeding the trolls.
00:46:13
Speaker
We're not going to go on low effort dates.
00:46:15
Speaker
Yeah, walk dates, coffee dates.
00:46:18
Speaker
Not going to go.
00:46:19
Speaker
Are you kidding me?
00:46:20
Speaker
Do you know how much I spend in skincare on a year to year basis?
00:46:25
Speaker
Yeah, it's just, it's just, it's not.
00:46:28
Speaker
My socks cost more than a coffee.
00:46:31
Speaker
Yeah.
00:46:32
Speaker
because fuck inflation but but it's true i don't even drink coffee so it wouldn't even be coffee it'll be water for me and i'm definitely not leaving my house to go and drink water with a man that i don't know exactly so ladies what is out this year for all of us low effort dates don't do them that's part of self-care
00:46:56
Speaker
And just generally low effort and just like low vibrational, you know, situations and people as well.
00:47:02
Speaker
I think we know when, you know, whether that be a friend or whether that be a job, perhaps where you feel undervalued and unappreciated.
00:47:12
Speaker
It's just, you know, 2024 could be the year where that potentially changes for you, hopefully.
00:47:17
Speaker
Actually, that's interesting.
00:47:19
Speaker
I like that nuance you've just added, because I just got back today from
00:47:23
Speaker
I have a friend who has a husband and two young boys.
00:47:26
Speaker
And the only time we get together is when I go to their house on their schedule.
00:47:32
Speaker
And I just get a little tired of being stuck in their house and their four walls and like having all the attention on the children.
00:47:39
Speaker
I understand that, you know,
00:47:41
Speaker
There are certain years in a life where this is pretty common, but I want us to do more like, let's go out to a park.
00:47:46
Speaker
Let's go out and get dim sum.
00:47:47
Speaker
Today we went out and got bubble tea.
00:47:49
Speaker
And, you know, it was such a nice change of pace.
00:47:52
Speaker
And I was so happy that they were willing to do it.
00:47:53
Speaker
I could tell it exhausted them.
00:47:55
Speaker
I could tell it was a real ordeal, you know, because the boys are still relatively young.
00:47:59
Speaker
But I also know they want these children to learn the importance of friendships.
00:48:03
Speaker
And of how to, you know, comportment in public areas, right?
00:48:08
Speaker
We need to teach our children this.
00:48:10
Speaker
And so I think it's easier to go out with two kids when there are three adults than when it's just two.
00:48:15
Speaker
So this is one of my pushes in our friendship is like, I need you to show me a little more effort instead of it always being on your terms in order for the friendship to continue to thrive.
00:48:25
Speaker
And so I was really excited.
00:48:26
Speaker
proud of myself because it took us two months to make this happen.
00:48:29
Speaker
And I just kept every time, every time they kept inviting me over and I was like, we can go out and do this.
00:48:36
Speaker
Why don't we go out and do this?
00:48:37
Speaker
And it, you know, it was just no, no, no.
00:48:38
Speaker
And finally today it happened.
00:48:39
Speaker
And I was like, see Maria, this is what happens when I didn't debate the standards and I wasn't, you know, a fractious about it.
00:48:47
Speaker
I just maintained that this was a standard in order for you to see me for a visit.
00:48:51
Speaker
So look at us off to a great start already.
00:48:55
Speaker
Yeah, I really love that for you.
00:48:57
Speaker
And that's a very, very good case study of how expressing your needs is not always a bad thing.
00:49:04
Speaker
And people who care about you and want to be in your life and be a positive fixture in your life, they will make efforts to accommodate that.
00:49:14
Speaker
That's hard for me.
00:49:15
Speaker
I don't know about you, but that's a real skill that I'm... It is hard.
00:49:22
Speaker
But it's important.
00:49:23
Speaker
Yeah, definitely.
00:49:25
Speaker
You matter and you count.
00:49:27
Speaker
And so your worth is that you can also put these, these boundaries down and these standards down.
00:49:32
Speaker
And this also goes in with another out, which is actually our first out, which was again, and this is me citing manifestel from spoiled girly support group.
00:49:41
Speaker
We are not dealing with below bare minimum, low effort males.
00:49:46
Speaker
Yeah, just no.
00:49:48
Speaker
That's just if you have the relationship talk and he's like hesitating about whether to commit, he's out.
00:49:53
Speaker
Oh, is it your birthday and he picked you up beef jerky from 7-Eleven?
00:49:58
Speaker
Out.
00:49:59
Speaker
Out.
00:50:00
Speaker
If you can't remember your birthday, he's out.
00:50:02
Speaker
Out.
00:50:03
Speaker
Is it Christmas and he got you a video game for himself?
00:50:07
Speaker
Out.
00:50:08
Speaker
Absolutely out.
00:50:09
Speaker
I don't think we even need to debate this one, do we?
00:50:11
Speaker
Do we, Savannah, really?
00:50:12
Speaker
Yeah.
00:50:13
Speaker
Do you know, even like, you know, lingerie.
00:50:16
Speaker
I used to work in a bra shop.
00:50:18
Speaker
Nice.
00:50:20
Speaker
That's a good skill right there.
00:50:23
Speaker
It was good, but the amount of men that were...
00:50:27
Speaker
be buying lingerie for their wives in completely the wrong size because the next day the wives will be back returning the bra because it is completely the wrong size for some reason for some reason like men seem to think that every woman is like 34 double d when there are many many more price sizes beyond that okay how about they just bring one of their wives bras to the store if they're so unsure
00:50:52
Speaker
I think with with that, though, it's like a lot of women are wearing the wrong bra anyway, so it doesn't help.
00:50:57
Speaker
So it's almost like there's two there's two points of failure there.
00:51:01
Speaker
But it's just it's just hilarious how men think that lingerie is a good gift when they just clearly don't have a clue what they're shopping for or even what to look for.
00:51:10
Speaker
Also, you know what?
00:51:11
Speaker
If you want to get lingerie, get it for yourself, bro.
00:51:14
Speaker
Why don't you sashay out in some spangled sports shorts, okay?
00:51:19
Speaker
Let me see you put some... Some Calvin Klein's tighty-whities.
00:51:23
Speaker
Yeah, yeah.
00:51:24
Speaker
Let me see some pasties with little tinsel hanging down.
00:51:29
Speaker
Shake it like you mean it, you know?
00:51:31
Speaker
If you want lingerie, go ahead, but make sure it's for yourself.
00:51:34
Speaker
It's for yourself.
00:51:35
Speaker
That's a good... Yeah, exactly.
00:51:37
Speaker
So...
00:51:39
Speaker
And, you know, really, you wrote down scrotes, which is that's what a below bare minimum low effort male is.
00:51:44
Speaker
That's a scrote.
00:51:45
Speaker
And we're not.
00:51:46
Speaker
And this year and forevermore.
00:51:48
Speaker
Ouch.
00:51:49
Speaker
We're not dealing with them.
00:51:50
Speaker
And we can see them getting desperate as well as, again, the discourse is shifting away from, slowly but surely, away from sort of demonising women for having standards to women actually realising that, yeah, having standards actually feels really good.
00:52:05
Speaker
And it will serve as a way to keep the, you know, not just the men, but the people in your life who don't deserve to be in there.
00:52:13
Speaker
It will keep them away.
00:52:15
Speaker
Ladies.
00:52:17
Speaker
It is your God given right.
00:52:19
Speaker
It is your goddess blessed right to have whatever and however many standards you require for your happiness and your health.
00:52:30
Speaker
Point blank.
00:52:32
Speaker
Savannah, we did it.
00:52:34
Speaker
We got to the end of our ins and outs for 24, 24 list.
00:52:39
Speaker
We did it.
00:52:41
Speaker
And I hope that you can take forward any, um,
00:52:47
Speaker
all the positive energy and, and luck into 2024 and make it the year that you truly want it to be.
00:52:55
Speaker
So yeah, let us know.
00:52:57
Speaker
So that's our show.
00:52:59
Speaker
Let us know what your ins and outs of 2024 are.
00:53:01
Speaker
We'll be keen to, to read all about them.
00:53:05
Speaker
Let's get the conversation started.
00:53:07
Speaker
Yes.
00:53:08
Speaker
Yeah, the conversation started.
00:53:10
Speaker
Do check us out on our social media.
00:53:12
Speaker
We are still barely hanging on to X, but you can find us at them.
00:53:16
Speaker
That's Strat.
00:53:17
Speaker
We are also on our personal X accounts as well.
00:53:23
Speaker
And for all you scrotes out there, you are definitely out in 2024.
00:53:27
Speaker
Die mad.
00:53:28
Speaker
See you next week.