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Ep. 218 – Remove the Beam from Thy Covenant Eye, Bro w/ Spencer Bland & Charles McBryde
302 Plays27 days ago
This week we have a special episode with two of our all time favorite guests, comedian Spencer Bland and philanthropist and influencer Charles McBryde! Spencer was the one who originally introduced us to his long-term friend Charles, and we thought it would be fun to get everybody together. We discuss topics such as the evolving nature of belief, defining your own connection to faith in spite of the cultural atmosphere, the best types of apples, family computer impropriety, and where Charles and his Langley buddies are staging the next color revolution. We had a great time with these guys, and hope you will too! Follow Charles on Instagram and TikTok (@charlesmcbryde), X (@mcbrydecampbell), and we highly recommend subscribing to his Substack, Refuse Dystopia. Follow Spencer on Instagram and Tiktok (@spencerspicy) and keep an eye on his website www.iambadatcomedy.com for future standup dates!
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Transcript
The Rise and Fall of Red Delicious Apples
00:00:00
Speaker
red delicious Red delicious is the American dream. Yeah, it is. It was like, it was, it was sold to us as this amazing thing. And we grew up, we were like big red apple. That's, that's the best apple in the world. And then we like traveled a little bit and had other apples and we're like, wait, these apples
Special Episode Introduction
00:00:16
Speaker
get free healthcare. care yeah
00:00:37
Speaker
Hey everybody, we are back with a very special episode of Growing Up Christian. I'm Sam. I'm Casey. And we are here with really the dream
Collaboration of McBride and Bland
00:00:47
Speaker
team. We've spoken with Charles McBride. We've spoken with Spencer Bland. But we've never had the two ah team up on this podcast to help take over the world. assh brothers I'm not sure which one's like the main hero and which one's the sidekick yet. But if I had to guess, I'm sorry Spencer. We know.
00:01:05
Speaker
I'm not doing anything to better the world. I know. Charles was out there literally putting out fires in California, and you were home masturbating to internet pornography on your... Charlie... McBride asked me to go on a trip one time, and I was like, I have a wife at the time I did.
Missed Travel Opportunities
00:01:23
Speaker
Now he's free. He's ready to go. Now I can totally... Look where that got you, Spencer. You should have said yes. Now I can definitely get shot in a war-torn country. I got nothing to lose, baby.
00:01:34
Speaker
In fact, if you did it earlier, maybe she would have just like pity stayed. She would have liked me more probably. Yeah. openly You would have been a bad-ass at that point. like For the kids. yeah probably Everyone needs a, if you have a significant other with bullet wound scars, like you kind of, you you I mean, that's cool. Sam, you got to get a guitar, dude. You're really throwing off the acoustic guitar in the background vibe. That's true. You guys are all,
00:02:02
Speaker
so i um I hope you play them better than Casey. I don't. I'll tell you that right now. Perfect. I just own guitars. I know them. Yeah, it's just a vibe. This is this will be the last time anyone sees this background. That's for sure. No way. The log cabin?
Life's Unpredictability and Divorce
00:02:16
Speaker
Yep. I am ah i have ah moved into my in-laws while I get my house ready to put on the market. And this will probably be... I'm cutting my internet tomorrow. This is the last time. Damn. Which is so wild. It's another significant way point on the ah journey to divorce.
00:02:33
Speaker
Yep. Wait, are you getting divorced too? No, no. Okay. I don't think I don't know. Actually, that's why McBride and I are here right now. That's like a new reality show. Yeah. You guys just that that would work if women called you got or Ben, whatever people called you guys to tell the significant other that they're getting divorced. I'd watch it. I would too. Yeah.
00:02:59
Speaker
So, okay, so we started off talking before we hit record.
Dune Movie Discussions
00:03:03
Speaker
um It's actually why we record. yeah So what is the good news? Because I asked about if there was going to be a Dune Messiah movie, you guys said yes. You're just making me realize that like I'm not, in my brain, everyone is just caught up to date and follows Dune meme accounts, right? It's a global phenomenon. I only follow warm posts. And then Casey's like, hey, they making that other movie? And I'm like, you haven't been following the daily updates about it?
00:03:29
Speaker
like i also I haven't been using worm posting for its true purpose much lately, so it's been it's become kind of a general shit posting account and it needs to go back to its wom wormy roots. It's wormy roots. I like back to the roots. That's my favorite thing that you've done so far because I'm following you on Substack too, but worm posting really feels like a true slice of Charles.
00:03:51
Speaker
let me bri sub standing here you say that I really hate to hear you say that considering all of the things that I do. That is the one that resonates the most with you. Wow. You have to realize that Casey is like lowest common denominator kind of guy, you know? It's not the human humanitarian work. It's the memes.
00:04:11
Speaker
But if Casey is the lowest come denominator, then like that should be my target audience. I should be who I'm trying to appeal to. The fact that of all of the trouble I've put myself through to do things in the world. And the one thing that resonates with him is the shitposting worm themed account. Hey, it's a pretty good meme account. I like it when you swing a blanket at a fire too. I mean, that's cool too. So wait, what, is so what is the good news that you were saying about?
00:04:41
Speaker
um McBride's way more plugged into that than I am. i just like you i mean i mean First off, I'll i'll give a shout out to my favorite Dune meme account, CalderDune. Make sure you follow him. He he follows both McBride and I. Not only is he posting the most aesthetically pleasing Dune content, probably on Instagram, but he's actually like providing like solid like production updates and just also like deep dives into like the theories and like the like subjects And themes of the movies, which is just awesome. But, uh, yeah, there's there's a third movie coming. It's going to be insane. And I can't wait to see the public opinion about it. Apparently like it's pretty information. Yeah. Well, yes. I, I, I was told by my Bedouin guide from bloodrate that he saw them filming pickups for Messiah in the desert because they filmed in his desert. And he was like, sounds like a right place, right time kind of story.
00:05:39
Speaker
Right, but officially, officially they haven't been filming anything. So kind of what I think happened is as soon as Villeneuve got the green light from Warner Brothers, he went back to the desert and filmed scenes that are supposed to take place immediately after this the the end of the second film. I think that's what happened. And then the rest of it, production is starting like now. um Because that was like four months ago where I heard that from him. Yeah. Which desert? It's like a special desert.
00:06:09
Speaker
It's the Wadi Room Desert in Jordan. It is a very special desert. It's like one of the most beautiful places on earth. Is that where Petra is? It's it's not where Petra is, but it's it's in the same country. Yeah, you got the country right. Pretty close. That's like... It's south of Petra. Grand Canyon versus Niagara Falls, same country. For those for those of you listening, I am not a well-learning on the geography of Georgia. I, or sorry, Jordan. I am using Google Maps.
00:06:37
Speaker
ah Dude, so April and I just finished Messiah and... Like reading it? Yeah, yeah. Well, we listened to it. I can't read it. I don't think in 2025 you have to split the difference anymore. Who has the time to read? You can just say you read it and no one everyone kind of knows what you mean, depending especially depending on what kind of person you want. Yeah, it just feels like swollen valor.
00:07:03
Speaker
It's a little bit of a letdown, I think. Hot take. certainly Yeah, I think Messiah is a pretty imperfect book. It's been hold on. It's been a minute since I read it. ah So spoiler alert, but that is like it mostly that's like when he gets um He gets banished. Oh wait, in case he read it. We are now going to engage in spoilers related to doing Messiah. Is that a spoiler alert? And then we will have a... Or you can listen to it and then you can tell people that you read the book. I said with all due respect.
00:07:39
Speaker
yeah ah ah that's That's that's when like Paul gets excommunicated out into the desert and becomes like the the Apostle literally right Yeah, and then it's like mostly surrounding his kids, right? I can't remember their names, but what later a second That's that'sa is about He's basically trying to get, uh, he's trying to get Johnny preggers. Yeah. And then. Which, hey, an entire movie about fucking is in dial. Let's go. Okay. I'll, I'll watch it. Like and pain is he's being stopped by his. Cuckwife who can't get the princess. irlan He won't fuck and the milkshake will not bring him to the yard. truth Yeah. I, I.
00:08:25
Speaker
I feel like I would have to read it again to really feel like I had a good grasp on the storyline. I mean, I've got the basic- Oh, you have to read it a couple times, yeah. That is a tough book. unlike I don't know if I fully like understand all of the connective tissue between the different plot points and stuff.
00:08:45
Speaker
McBride is the, this isn't a spoiler. This is more of a, it's it's a light. Surprise. Plot point. Plot surprise. Are the laser, the laser cats are in Children of Dune, right? That's Children Dune. Yeah. Okay. Fuck yeah. That's right. next That's right. I said laser cats. The best is the space book where you finally get to the space Jews who have just apparently been there the entire time and like just unremarked. It goes so long.
00:09:14
Speaker
Jews still here. They have a secret. yeah Been here the whole time. Isn't that like the premise of the entire, but their entire Bible? They've just always been here. Yeah. well get to that like but okay like yeah we We basically decided that there were like too many pogrom. So we just made the entire thing secret and we just
00:09:36
Speaker
i was I really do want to read them because yeah I mean, honestly, because of you guys, and the fact that every time we talk, it comes up. And I just, I have little to contribute. And I i want to, I want to have like, it's that sort of intellectual entertainment hobby, where it's just like, oh, all these parallels. I like that. I like when there's a lot of comparisons, there's a lot of, you can glean from it. um and But as soon as Spencer said you had to read it more than once, it might not be for me. I've never read anything more than once. Whoa, not even the Bible? o That's a great question. In sections sporadically, in chunks, couple of times.
00:10:24
Speaker
Oh, we have been reading the Book of Mormon together. Whoa. and or do you even Do you just like get that at a bookstore? He did. because Actually, it was really tough to get. like I went to several different stores, couldn't find one. I had to order one on Amazon. Oh, I thought you ended up finding one. Yeah, surprisingly, LifeWay doesn't carry it. Yeah, you couldn't get the Book of Mormon at the Barnes and Noble.
00:10:47
Speaker
They don't have like i own apostasy section at life way like because life way we know we know where they stand on things and it's like they probably like Could they could carry a lot more like Barnes and Noble you go to the religious section? You're just like, I don't know what to do with this like, the yeah Well, I want to a bar noble for the first time in like five years this week um because my wife wanted to get a ah new book that came out and I'm like I what I always go to the religion section because I still suck like that and i it's like it's cool to see like where what's what's contemporary, what do people care about in that zeitgeist. and and
00:11:25
Speaker
um yeah all the pastors are hot now it's not the yeah Now, come on. That's just part of being famous. No, before the pastors were ugly and their wives were smoking hot. That's true. Because you have like, yeah, and we had the fat bastard era of pastors, and that is over. ah Now it's like the just that macho. Shacked pastors. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's it's so weird.
00:11:52
Speaker
But yeah, I feel like if LifeWay was just like corner of the market and just pull in more and put it in like apostasy section, like for your education to refute apologetically later on, like you got to know, like put up every one of those books alongside a book that you can read along with that tells you how to refute every aspect of the previous book. Boom. Book sales go way up. I feel like it's written by a jilted apostate.
00:12:17
Speaker
yeah Yeah, because that's how you learn about religion. Right. every
Critiques of Religion and Culture
00:12:20
Speaker
and every Any person who was ever taken seriously that was criticizing Islam and why it was all basically ah fanaticism and terrorism was always an ex-Muslim who is converted to Christianity, telling you why Islam is like a super related story. It's funny that you say that. causey i've heard I've heard grumblings coming out of DC that that's actually Trump's next executive order that all bookstores will actually turn into lifeways.
00:12:46
Speaker
I would, and they can only carry the Trump Bible. Have you guys ever been in a Mardel? A Mardel? What the hell's that? It's like a Christian bookstore slash school supply, curriculum, all that. Sign me up. So we have one. It's sandwiched right in between a, you know, like.
00:13:09
Speaker
the Ross and the five below, no joke. And it so I'd never been in there, but I was like, you know what? This sounds interesting. I'll go in and see if they got a Book of Mormon, which they didn't, but they did have an entire wall of quippy Christian t-shirts that I'd really- Dude, I miss those. Those are so good. do You guys remember the Christian t-shirts that just ripped off like popular logos? Oh, yes. I had a Subway shirt that said his way.
00:13:36
Speaker
yeah i never saw one I had one it wasn't it didn't rip off Christian logos. It was just a Christian t-shirt I had this phase I was in homeschool co-op I didn't have a lot of cool reference points at that you said homeschool. We got it. Yep And this is gonna this is disappointing and I hate to toot my own horn like this But I was actually the coolest one there like hell. Yeah in hindsight. I know I was I remember who was there there was that one kid who was just like, you know who he would have been in public school and all like the remedial classes. And he always had tons of black dirt under his fingernails. Like he was just digging all the time and couldn't like focus. It's still such a strange kid. ah And I remember a girl actually calling him like, they're like, Oh my God. And he's like, what? He's like, but she's like, what's wrong with your nails? He's like, what? It's just dirt. She's like, but why? And he's like, ah
00:14:31
Speaker
I play outside a lot. and She's like, what do you do outside that your nails are like that? It's you're 12. Stop. Stop doing that. um But I would wear it. Now they're kind of back, I guess. But I wore overalls. I had this pair of overalls that I wore every week to homeschool co-op because I thought they looked cool.
00:14:51
Speaker
And i would which they did I would have one side undone and I wore ah a t-shirt and it was like a school of fish. It was like all these cool looking fish and shit. And they're all going one direction. And then there was one fish going the other way and it said, go against the flow. And then it had like a Bible verse at the bottom. And God damn it, did I love that outfit. You know, go against the flow. That is the main religion of the country you live in. yeah yeah Well, all your friends are smoking pot. Yeah. Don't. I just want to point out that talking about how like every person who's telling you Islam is terrible is an ex, ex Muslim. What does that make this podcast and its guest? All right. A little pot. Are we coming from the same cloth? Is that what this is? I'm not trying to tell anybody anything about Christianity. I just want to laugh at Mormons. Yes.
00:15:45
Speaker
That's good, that's based. I had to explain to a member of my previous, my father's congregation this week that I still am in fact a Christian and that is actually something that I identify as and am proud of. um and she didn't quite understand how i could do that and also be like woke mind virus and it was really painful she was like i hope you just like yeah i was like i just hope you like read your bible this year i was like okay i love that and i wanted to be like which version yeah which translation yeah which translation and then just engage with it but no it's like at some point
00:16:23
Speaker
I'm very grateful for this woman's prayers you know as I go around and do things. And I have to just like, I don't know. I feel like I used to hold so much more resentment for what I would say is the Christophascist strain of Christians. But now I just like don't care. I just think they're so propagandized and like so misled that um they that all I can do is pity them. And that's how I feel kind of more towards the broad. like The people who fall for fascism,
00:16:52
Speaker
When I was really getting into that like four or five years ago, not into fascism, but yeah. I was going to follow up questions. Yeah. That brief stint all white males have, you mean? Yeah, exactly. Right. It's the, uh, who doesn't do that in college? What if everyone did everything the exact way I wanted to, then we'd have a utopia.
00:17:13
Speaker
Yeah, but i like i I got to the point where I realized that that's ah these people are basically kind of pitiful. like In many ways, there are the people who are the instigators and the people who peddle the lies, right? That's inexcusable. Those people are terrible. We should you know put them on trial for what they believe. But they're the people who like respond to those lies, usually out of a deep sense of fear. And it's just kind of tired after like eight, actually I guess 10 years now of like bashing Trump people as like idiots and fascists. It's just like, I really think these people are victims in so many ways. Probably half of them lost their money for like
00:17:52
Speaker
the rugpool trump bitcoin thing dude and he a new one that a lot of people went for too I gotta make me one of these meme coins. I know. It helps when you're president when you're trying to peddle them. No, I do. Charles, I hear you on that. um It's so funny because like ah the short version of it without naming any particular names is I had a member of my family who's in a relationship with someone who was having kind of making that like
00:18:31
Speaker
Is it they were having that conversation about do we just cut out people who voted for Trump because of how much it hurts marginalized people blah blah blah and I was just it's just tough because I'm like I I mean, I don't know what you think that would accomplish right like a I don't it's funny because those people never I mean sometimes they do maybe but in my experience I've never met people on the right who cut out like the lefty children they're just like I Let's just maybe not. Maybe not for that reason. Maybe not. They do it for other reasons sometimes. I've met a few. Yeah, I've met a few for sure. Right. I know they exist. I'm just saying I hear it more on the left and the right to be like, I should just cut off anyone who did X, Y, and Z. I'm not hearing that as much from the right. And maybe that's because they intertwine with some Christian principles and they think that they need to reach all people or something like that at times too, if that's possible.
00:19:24
Speaker
Um, but yeah, I don't know. I guess I, I do hear what you're saying where you just go. Cause I know people who are in that boat that I also think are some of the most wonderful people that I know that do a lot for the people around them that have never really done anything to marginalize the people in their immediate circle. Uh, they go out of their way to try to serve people who need the help and support. And I am like.
00:19:49
Speaker
I don't know. ah do we i mean i could I could be an abrasive asshole and then never entertain a conversation where ah we get to talk about their faith, especially talking about their faith like in there in that and how it intersects with their politics where it's like,
00:20:11
Speaker
The conversation a lot of us were having, who were Christian and finding ourselves in more progressive politics were just like, we found ourselves here because of our faith. Meanwhile, they found themselves there because of, I would argue, a bastardized version of their faith. And I know that's a hard conversation to have because everyone can use the Bible to do what they want because there's enough in it.
00:20:38
Speaker
across the spectrum to pull from it what you want to support your narrative. But as people who are Christians, I'm just like, I i feel like a good default to the Sermon on the Mount should be ah enough clarity to be like, maybe we should entertain a different type of politics.
00:20:54
Speaker
but I don't know I hear anyway that was super long-winded but I hear what you're saying and that there's an empathy there where it's just like yeah but I mean like but what you said about like the Bible can be used that that's that's why it's useless to give someone the advice oh we'll just read your Bible more because the Bible can be used to justify everything from chattel slavery to Marxist revolution so like yes what do you want it to be you know we are creating Yeah, this is this would sound heretical for me to say, but whether or not you believe it's the inspired Word of God, we are creating and interpreting what the Bible is and what it means. That's what the Church does. The doctrine of the Trinity is not self-evident from Holy Scripture. like the the All of the different Christological councils that determine the nature of Christ wouldn't have happened if that shit was like super obvious in the canon. And it did become like, ah you know you also have geopolitics took
00:21:49
Speaker
was that played a huge part in the ability to have those conversations and ah in in a in a way that would have a broad impact on Christian. For sure, yeah. Yeah, exactly. like you needed You needed the Roman Empire to exist in order to have like a lingua franca to be able to allow that to to spread through all that area. up I'm personally not a believer in the whole like Constantine was the one who who created Christianity. I just don't think that that's really Created it. Well, not created but like the whole idea that like Constantine decided the canon of the Bible. Oh, yeah missia No, I mean, I think he used it ah for political purposes um as As has never stopped happening since then right? but Yeah, I don't I'm not I don't buy into any that conspiracies that he had direct impact on the
00:22:43
Speaker
the I mean, yeah, he intertwined politics and Christianity to the point where some theological ideology came ah about because of it, but not in the sense where he was like, here's this council and they're going to decide these things. Is that what you're saying that some people are saying? Yeah, I think there's like this.
00:23:02
Speaker
Because I think one of the things is when you're when you're in the deconstruction phase of your faith, you tend to encounter a lot of people who are also deconstructing. That's like the puberty phase. Right? Right. It's like kind of annoying. Your voice is breaking a lot. You don't really know what you're talking about. yeah Exactly. And you find people who are talking about how, well, Christianity is just an invention of Constantine, the Roman Empire. It's like, well, not really. like The canon was pretty well established before the Council of Nicea and everything like that. so um Yeah, but it's it's very interesting. it's taken me It has taken me 10 years to get back to a place where I feel like I can call myself a Christian without cringing and wincing. but I gotta be real. And that's happening against like at the very same time that like cultural Christian fascism is at its highest peak. So I understand, like that's a weird dichotomy, but I feel closer to my faith now than I have in 10 years rather than further away.
00:23:59
Speaker
even though the people who I think are abusing it are the ones who have all of the cultural purchase. What is it about that word that was um worth holding on to or reclaiming? When you think of what Christianity is to how to all these different people saying it's different things, it's like if everyone just walked around saying everything was green, right the color green, would be like that war it would become meaningless. right um So I'm not saying that the word Christian is is is as simple as that comparison. but
00:24:33
Speaker
What about it felt like it was worth reclaiming for you? Well, I think it's interesting because I argued my way into a universalist mindset in college 10 years ago, and I was queer affirming and I wasn't a literalist. I didn't believe in six-day creation, all of that before I graduated college.
00:24:54
Speaker
but And the only through line in my work and my social justice activities, my humanitarian work, that sort of stuff, between that version of me and the person who I was in high school, is that it was deeply motivated, but by what I thought was a Christian concept of justice. I resonate with that heart, dude.
00:25:19
Speaker
Yeah, like I was always the kid who was like, I made my dad drag me to pastors conferences and stuff. And I would argue with him when he would be like, well, we don't give money to homeless people because they might spend it on booze. And I would argue with him. based i would like Well, but that's like, what? No, spending your money on booze is based. That's what I'm saying. i'm not siding with your dad Yeah. Yeah, but that's like... Don't give your money to me. I might spend it on booze. Come on. Well, that's the thing. that When I have that conversation now, I always think about what CS Lewis... Tolkien told CS Lewis. He's like, don't don't give him money. He's just going to spend it on drink. And CS Lewis is like, well, well you and I were going to spend it on drink anyway. so
00:26:04
Speaker
But yeah, i think i and i and I realized that like I didn't get radicalized by Karl Marx, I got radicalized by Jesus of Nazareth. So there's something a part of me that's always felt like the example of Christ,
00:26:15
Speaker
um outside of the even even putting aside the architecture of Christianity, Christendom. you know i think like I have no interest in Christendom or fighting to save Christendom.
00:26:26
Speaker
or like trying to build the kingdom of heaven here on earth like i i'm interested in christianity and the person of jesus of nazareth and from my i i've never really doubted god like i've i think it's it's interesting because my deconstruction had everything to do with god's justice rather than his existence i've never really felt like i could argue my way out of to an atheist position just atheism never really made sense to me i feel like whether you call it the prime mover or the the substrate, the ground of all being, I think you need something there. um And I can give you a much more eloquent you know argument for that if you gave me a little time and allow my autism to peak on that subject. But I find the arguments for theism compelling. And I find
00:27:13
Speaker
the Christian version of theism to align best with my own values. Yeah, yeah. If that makes sense. Yeah, it definitely does. list of this You know, i'm I'm a universalist. So I think like the difference is that because hell is not a factor, and because I and don't really believe in sin in the way that most Christians, modern Christians think, although early Christians had very, very different ideas about sin than than modern ones, um especially in the Christian East.
00:27:40
Speaker
they had an idea that was much closer to the definition of sin was like missing the mark, i.e. like not hitting the bullseye on a target rather than kind of the Augustinian Calvinist version of like sin as this this this depraved internal thing that you inherit. um And that it has to be, essentially you have to be, it has to be forgiven in a court of law with a substitutionary atonement. That's very foreign to kind of the Eastern Orthodox notion of sin and And because of that, they don't need a hell, right? You don't need anybody to burn in hell for that. So that's why there was a lot more universalists in the East than there were in the West. But that's a tangent. No, it's fancy language for missing the mark is like not landing the back shots. It's the the act in itself isn't sinful. It's just you missed and you were were where you dr you were trying to do something different and it didn't work out. So I hear you. Exactly. Missing the mark.
00:28:39
Speaker
Christian again after all that or what? Where are you man? All right, sick. I'm happy for you though. Happy for you brother. That's great for you. Or sorry that happened. Is that lemonade? This is ginger lemonade from my own garden. That looks crispy. Yeah, it would be. I love that. And I also kind of expected that. Dude, I'm hobbit maxing for real for that. I have a Meyer lemon, I have a Meyer lemon tree in my backyard that is, it is very fecund. It is a... A Meyer lemon? Meyer. It's interesting. It's like a... You're out here branding trees.
Meyer Lemon Tree and Its Taste
00:29:25
Speaker
Yeah, it feels like a mix between a tangerine
00:29:29
Speaker
and a lemon it has like a distinct kind of like oranges taste to it which means it's not great for the things that you would typically use lemons for in terms of seasoning Like if you put it on a salad or you put it on some chicken, it's going to taste kind of like you squeeze the tangerine on some chicken, but it makes amazing lemonade. So I just juice them up into lemonade and it's great. That sounds pretty great. I think I've got a few Kroger pear trees in my backyard because they taste like paper, but they're like six pounds each. It's totally worthless. I hate them.
00:30:09
Speaker
there countunted ones There's a lady in my neighborhood that has a pomegranate. I guess they're, are they bushes or are they trees? They look like giant bushes, but, uh, she was like giving them away one day and I was walking Steve and I was like, Oh fuck, a fresh pomegranate. And she handed it to me and she goes, Oh, by the way, it's their sour. And I didn't know there's that strain of pomegranate that's like inedible. I was like, why are you handing, why are you handing these out to people? I don't like when they rot in my yard. So I just literally, it was exactly that. She was like, Oh, I just like giving them to people.
00:30:39
Speaker
i just was I just had a conversation about, to stay on the fruit subject, I just talked to somebody today about how overrated pomegranates are. Like, I find most fruits to be enjoyable, ah but when you have to, like when you're only access to the flavor of the fruit is by like crunching inconvenient seeds, I'm out. Yeah. I would say. Dude, that a same. that's I think it's like a, what's that thing that a lot of ADHD people have where you like respond or autistic people, you respond weirdly to textures?
00:31:09
Speaker
The texture like having your social skills yeah like having to crunch seeds when you're not expecting it is is one of the worst. i hate And then um yeah both the teams or the toca yeah the other texture I can't do across the board is like the yogurt pudding texture.
00:31:31
Speaker
Wait, hold on. Like just in general. all yogurt um I struggled with that one for a long time. yeah yeah I can't eat yogurt. I can't eat pudding. um I can't eat anything that remotely resembles that texture. Wow. I'm that way of bananas, but I absolutely, absolutely love making a yogurt bowl, dude. Oh my God. That's like a top five snack for me.
00:31:52
Speaker
Yeah, it's doing a lot of that too. Little, little honey in there. little oh dude fuck me up and luberia yeah But I am with you on bananas. I've never liked banana in my entire life. The consistency is like snot for me. I love the flavor. I think, I think banana flavor is one of the best things in the world, but eating a banana, I am like, like every single time. It does. It triggers a gag reflex. What is, what is the best apple?
00:32:18
Speaker
in your opinion. Oh, oh dude. There's so many. We have, we have whatever. whatever marnells out in this zone good I feel like our North Carolina boy should give us the definitive. Yeah. Give it to us, man. Okay. So give me that break up until like a year ago. I would have said honey crisp because a fresh honey, ah a big, fresh, dude, they get a snap to them. Oh my God. Honey crisp.
00:32:44
Speaker
Yeah, honestly Uncomparable to any top tier, but recently there has been a new strain new a new strain in the ah in the Harris teeters around me and it's called cosmic crisp And it's like somehow because sometimes honey crisp can be like a little too sweet. It's like it feels fake You're like, this isn't real like what what's going on here? There's been sugar injected into this app like ah cotton candy grapes where like yeah This doesn't which I do. make I do fuck with pretty hard, but yeah But there's a fakeness to it where we know that humans had a hand in it that yeah should not um I'm not eating a co cany a cotton candy grape, and I'm like oh, I'm so connected to the earth. I'm like na du I was like Monsanto really fucking popped off with this one, dude yeah You know it's a stop clock situation, right? Yeah, if you try to make wine out of something like that What is it just like you get you get mad dog 2020? Did you get four loco? Yeah. but If you try to make wine out of cotton candy grapes, that's just a Kesha album.
00:33:49
Speaker
I tried to. I so I got one of those cosmic crisps to try, but I think I waited too long to eat it because I didn't like it very much. But yeah, they got to be fresh. They had Opal. No, eight maybe they're yellow and they don't have them all the time. Oh, I've had them sometimes. They're good. They're kind of like a perfect blend of a pear and an apple.
00:34:09
Speaker
Yes. They're delicious. Yeah. I just love apples, man. That's like yeah i fucked with an apple man. I remember yeah my fondest memories. Actually, one of the things that made the Asheville floods so difficult was like going up every year to the Hendersonville apple festival.
00:34:24
Speaker
Yeah. And going to the Mass General Store and going to Sky Top Orchard and like getting apples and running around, doing the little white person thing. And it was just great. And like you just get apples out of these big things. They're really fresh and they're really crispy. I like the tart ones. Yeah. I never like anything that's like too sweet. As a ah New England boy, apple picking is a ah regular and fall activity.
00:34:49
Speaker
yeah ah Generally, the orchards, like the main apples in an orchard around here, we i mean it keeps we keep it classic. you know It's like Cortland's. Macintosh. ah Like, I think ah gala is another one
Revisiting Red Delicious Apples
00:35:04
Speaker
that. Red delicious red delicious is the American dream. Yeah, it is. It was like it was, it was sold to us as this amazing thing. And we grew up we we're like big red apple. That's that's the best apple in the world. And then we like traveled a little bit and had other apples and we're like, wait, these apples get free healthcare. Yeah. They punked us a little bit with the yeah, you can't just throw the word delicious into any like that's not fair yeah Delicious these cosmic crisps over here have free public transit. What are you talking about? and it it It insists on itself. It does a red delicious is like it's got one of the thickest skins in the Apple game, right? Yeah, like like just like gnawing on apple skin My name's like a bit from red delicious. I got it's not it doesn't have like that sweetness to it that a lot of the
00:35:52
Speaker
the better, like like the Macintosh. Macs are, I'm going to say though, if you're going to bake an apple pie, you better fucking yeah Macintosh Apple. Or, or Granny Smith. I do appreciate a Granny Smith. I actually really like to just, I feel like green apples don't get their ah time in the sun, you know? I agree. um Look, there's a reason God tempted Eve with an apple. He wasn't using like a banana, like, which honestly would have been more, you know, probably would have helped her out more. Depending on what Adam is working with, it might've been a little nicer. I don't know. It's been really tempting.
00:36:21
Speaker
Has any pastor asked that question? Was Adam packing? They weren't asked that question because they definitely aren't and they don't want to be they they're but the most insecure group of people. I'm going to be the first. You know what, dude, I'm back in Christianity. I'm going to give an entire four part series on how big was Adam's dick. And why did Eve need a banana? And we're not talking America. We're not talking the ones we get in America. Really, really. Yeah. I'm going to slip in a lot of like pro men's rights stuff. These are ancient bananas. Yeah.
00:36:51
Speaker
I'm back, baby. i exactly am I actually am an ordained pastor. These are the bad dragons of bananas. The church of MGTOW.
00:37:02
Speaker
Dude, honestly Spencer, we should, man. First of all, like the game, the hustle is like so real. like you know You know the business and I know the chemistry. yeah We can create a very convincing cult because the entire architecturemware yeah yeah the entire architecture of the American like political system is set up to privilege churches and businesses. I think that we would do we do great. What's crazy is we could we could make it and call it Dick Church and I bet we would so we would get people to follow it. not not like Yes, we'd probably get some people would be like, oh, that's hilarious, but I bet you would get some pro alpha males to be like,
00:37:40
Speaker
Dick Church? Yeah, dude. Yeah. as As long as you changed your name to Richard Church, you would still do Richard Church, dude. The thing is, I think that depending on how you market it, people would go for it. if you It was like, yeah, we want to be like, the gospel is transgressive, you know? Yeah. but We're out here. what We're trying to, we're preaching it we're preaching a new type of church for a new type of Christian. Yeah. all Like bullshit stuff from the from the contemporary Christianity culture. Oh man.
00:38:10
Speaker
Just lean in hard. just but Just be the Mark Driscoll of dicks. I think he already is the Mark Driscoll of dicks. Unfortunately, yes.
00:38:22
Speaker
tooive ah you got like that There's that whole lane of um like Christian Instagram and TikTok of like casting out demons in public and publican shit. Did I have an entire bit about that? Are you guys nice?
00:38:35
Speaker
you you got you ah the clown dude, Richie the Barber. are You guys familiar with Richie the Barber? Wait, is he like a crazy like Christian dude too? He's the one way know he tattooed his whole face with clown makeup. Nope. Different. I'm thinking of like Vinny the Barber or whatever. I'm thinking of the guy down in Atlanta that gives like kids like homeless kids haircuts. Nevermind. Okay.
00:38:55
Speaker
Yeah, that sounds way cooler. Yeah. Richie the Barber, he was on America's Got Talent a while ago. He's tried a bunch of different plug and play personalities. The full tattoo clown face didn't get him um the career that maybe he wanted. So he moved into the grift of like ah Pentecostal type Christianity. um That's insane. I tried to get him on the podcast. boo Yeah, yeah. ah But it's there for him because he's doing okay, it seems. I tried to get him on the podcast. um He was going to charge us like a couple hundred bucks. And I just said, you're a grifter fuck. So I yeah blew him off.
00:39:36
Speaker
But, uh, someone, uh, was messaging our Instagram page the other day and was like, he sent me a clip of him and was like, Oh, you guys need to get this guy in the podcast. I was like, I think I already burnt that bridge. Uh, did you call him a grifter? Fuck. Yes. I was like, Oh, Oh, 200. I was like, we've literally talked to someone like, I mean, we've talked to some pretty big names and no one's ever charged us like that. Like.
00:40:03
Speaker
It's just not the kind of you're a yeah, buddy loser and you're trying to charge 200 bucks Just for an hour of your time. He was on no jumper. Okay? yeah i'm goingnna start invoicing you guys for these podcasts and and yeah You guys are getting paid but yeah yeah ah And the the guy I was messaging with, he was like, I would have he's like i i would have paid you the $200 to have him on so that way you and Casey could just talk to each other and pretend he wasn't there the whole time. ah That would be so funny. I know, I was kind of thinking about it.
00:40:42
Speaker
What a below to his confidence that would be. I do love like the the Christian influencer deal is fun because like i'm never like you always expect the motivational speech you know and stuff. I'm never expecting the tongues. so like When all of a sudden they just dude ramble off something that sounds roughly sort of Arabic, like it always catches me by surprise and I smile like every time.
00:41:10
Speaker
my Dude, my my grandma prayed over me in tongues one time and I was just like, just smile and wave, boys. Just smile and wave. like I had no idea what was going on. Was it just the two of you? Yeah, dude, it was real awkward. Nobody around to interpret, you mean? Yeah. Oh, yeah. we weren't falling We weren't following the law. Didn't follow a proto, dude. It's just- Your grandma wasn't just scatting. Dude, what's wild is like she was such she was so racist.
00:41:38
Speaker
like if ah but If a grandmother gloss a lails and there's no one around to interpret, did it really happen? Gloss a lails. Oh yeah. Very, very strange. I was also in her old folks, like, like apartment. So I feel like all her like neighbors could probably hear us.
00:41:58
Speaker
oh through those paper thin walls yeah dude it was very awkward yeah and then I started speaking in tongues a few years later I i say this with a deep um I actually think there's things about the Pentecostal religion which I would like to ah learn but I'm grateful. It's not a lot to it. You could learn pretty quickly. You're a smart guy, Charles. The one thing I appreciate is that, like, as strange as my upbringing was in the, like, conservative, non-denominational Presbyterian church, at least we weren't doing that shit, like, in church. We weren't getting up and shouting random stuff. Oh, man. So much fun, though. But I really like the idea of that, because I think that that's, like, a more real off... Like, I think that's, like, a...
00:42:45
Speaker
I remember one time I wrote this ah like prospective future America story. that involved, like, Pentecostals were still around, but they'd forgotten that it was about Jesus. And they'd just become this, like, Appalachian snake cult, where they still spoke in tongues and handled snakes. But they had
Evolving Religious Practices
00:43:05
Speaker
kind of just forgotten that this was at one point adjacent, like, a part of Christianity. So I think that's kind of cool. I mean, like, if you look at every religion ever, it's like, you got, like, shamans speaking random stuff and, like, holding snakes.
00:43:20
Speaker
If they had some psychedelic ritual inside Pentecostalism, that'd be even better. It'd be like even more authentic. So good for them for doing that. I always found it. so I didn't grow up in a... i think they're I think they're technically what Church of God is Pentecostal down here. There's a Church of Christ. Yeah. um I didn't grow up in one of those, but i the... ah the campus ministry slash money cult that I went to in college was Pentecostal. And yeah, so we all started, uh, you know, we all had to like get, get bathed in the spirit each night. That was like our our baptism, but, uh, there's a sponge bath.
00:43:57
Speaker
No, it was just people fucking rubbing you down with their hands. They're like, Oh, you're so warm. I was like, Yeah, it's called friction, dumbass. Like a heavy petting going on. And yeah, dude, but I just remember every time it happened, like, and look, I felt victim to this. But every time I happened, I was just like, this is so ferocetical, because I would literally watch someone start to speak in tongues. And like, before I like fully like bought into it, I would just kind of sit in the back and watch.
00:44:23
Speaker
And I would see people like open their eyes and look at other people praying in tongues and then start praying in tongues. And it was such a like, look at how good I'm praying. Like it was just so fucking stupid, dude. There's got to be something valuable about like or freeing about just the the like daring to be silly in front of a group. Yeah, i' like you're had like volunteering for the Holy Hoop contest at a carnival cruise. right I remember doing your first open mic, right? Yeah, exactly. one one ah they So we we call, this is so cringe, we called it VHOP, Victory House of Prayer. They would leave the church open. Yeah, but they would leave the church open on, yeah all it gets so much worse. so They would leave the church open on Friday night and Saturday night to encourage people to go to the church and pray instead of go downtown.
00:45:11
Speaker
um And like we me and my buddy Sean, ah were like the like we like you know played acoustic to like lead, quote unquote, praise while it happened. So that we could go to church and go downtown at the same time. Yeah, dude. I was strumming chords on my acoustic bass guitar. um But I remember a person brought their dog one time and I was like, well, I just fucking hung out with the dog. And like a group of like three or four kids walked up to me and they're like, hey, we feel like there's a dark spirit in this dog and we need to pray over it. And I was just like, no, it's it's good. Imagine if they sacrificed it. They just stabbed it to death right in front of you. The dog was like wagging its tail and totally fine. And they're like, this this dog is demonic. We need to lay hands on it. And I was like, you can pet it, but I think it's okay.
00:45:57
Speaker
i When I was, ah I got swept up in a charismatic Christian movement when I was at Liberty University. Hell yeah, baby. And yeah it was, ah we would go to, it was called The Watch. The Watch. Waiting Awakened to Change History. Oh my God. Yes, dude. I love it.
00:46:17
Speaker
And there was this kid, he was a sweet guy. I really did like this person, ah but we're all in this shit, right? And that was in my experimental phase of like trying to do the hoop and holler and dancing.
00:46:30
Speaker
like swaying in like a fucking stop and holler Christianity. oh ah It's like ah I ah and we all went up this kid. We all put our hands on him and he was in the middle. yeah We all went up to the front and he you know he goes. um he He opens his eyes and he puts his hand out and grabs my shoulder. He's like Sam I can I can I. The Lord is telling me that you have a word to speak over me. And I was just. like let's go fuck here we go i don't and that's what I was like I just started saying I was just I don't know I said nothing I said nothing it was just looking terrible on it right and just all the vagaries that like a shitty medium would use to make find out if
00:47:23
Speaker
You had a family member whose name starred with M. Dude, and I've got to i um finish your story. I've got a medium story. I just kept going. And he also and he's just like, yes, yes, brother. Yes. I'm like, first of all, are you are you coming? I couldn't tell. But yeah.
00:47:43
Speaker
He was so into it. ah And even afterwards, he's like, man, you spoke so much truth over my life. And I was just sitting there like that was one of the last times I remember going. I was just like, oh, fuck, this some of this might be horseshit. i they might yeah I'm a direct player in the game. And I was just making it up. as This was Christian Dunsons and Dragons. I was making this shit up as I went.
00:48:08
Speaker
we're just role-playing and you should not yeah i loved it but like the game's over and kind of like some of the scales had fallen off my eyes downcast paladin uh yeah what's about this medium oh man this is okay this is outside of religion but uh I don't think of my friend will listen to this, but a buddy of mine, Matt, another comic who now like does like van life. He and I like when I was separating from my wife, he was ah ah leaving his long term girlfriend. So we were kind of like, you know, helping each other through it. And he told me he told me that he went to like a spiritual conference and like not Christianity spiritual like
00:48:50
Speaker
in tune with the earth crystals, you know, all that stuff. Yeah. New age, like holistic medicine or before you end up on some ayahuasca trip. Yeah. And he was like, I, he said, I got connected with this medium and she's been really helping me a lot on my healing journey. we've We've been doing the shadow work.
00:49:06
Speaker
And dude, I was so, I was the shadow friend balmodor i was so depressed at that point in my life that I was like, dude, give me your number. I need to talk to her. And I had, I had a zoom session with a medium and it was dude, it was just bullshit, just absolute bullshit. Like.
00:49:24
Speaker
stuff that she clearly could have found out by looking at my Facebook profile, you know, she was like, oh, I'm getting the name Tom. Is that is that anything? And I was like, yeah, that's my dad. He passed away like eight years ago. And she was like, oh, my God, isn't that huge? And I was like, well, I killed him. It's like he's like literally in my profile picture.
00:49:42
Speaker
Yeah, literally being an online medium is like you have a subscription to yellow pages dot com and you're like, dude, good. It was it was. And then she was like, I want to do. She's like, she lived in Hawaii and she's like, I want to come to your house and do ah a land blessing and a land healing. And I was like, sure. How much would that cost? And she wanted me to pay her fifteen thousand dollars.
00:50:06
Speaker
ah Oh, my God. You know what? happened I'm from, I'm in the sales world. You have to admire for asking. Yeah. Yeah. it's so It's really interesting. Like that's ah my, I feel like the world is just so full of that stuff in spaces that are supposed to be non-commercial, but they are commercial.
00:50:29
Speaker
And I get it, people have to like make their they're living off of it. But for so long, i just like one of the reasons I wouldn't take any money for anything related to my like human rights work or advocacy or educational stuff was just because I feared that. And it was really interesting because I was like, I know how I feel when I get like an inkling in the back of my head that someone's being a grifter. And then I think it was really interesting, like something that changed that for me was in a moment of desperation last year, like literally, I had been taking care of someone and it bankrupted me long story. And my car basically broke down like the wheel wells, like almost fell off and the control arms were like breaking and I basically needed to come up with like $4,000 to save my car. Oh, yeah. Okay.
00:51:19
Speaker
and I like posted a GoFundMe and i did I didn't even post it. I just like sent it to a couple of friends and and I was like so embarrassed because I'm like publicly talking about financial insecurity and that sort of stuff too. I didn't even post this on my thing in some like leftist account that sort of had it out for me for other reasons had seen someone posted on their story and created three posts on their account about my GoFundMe and how it was because I was a cishet white male. Why am I asking for money? Why don't, yeah, why I'm a great being, et cetera. And that literally broke me to the point where I was like, you know what? Fuck it. From now on, I'm actually just not going to be afraid of this and I'm going to get paid for what I do. From now on, I'll ask for love offerings from local churches only.
00:52:03
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. And so I threw out the fundraiser in like within twitter and everyone was like, oh, that's perfectly reasonable. like That's a totally reasonable thing to ask for. And we want to help you out because you've helped other people out. And it was like it blew me away. And I realized that like actually people, if they value you, they want to help you grow and sponsor these things as like a creator and everything. You would think the CIA would at least buy you a decent car.
00:52:28
Speaker
you think It's the most insulting part of the CIA allegations is I'm like, if that was the case, I would really hope that my bank account would just be so much fatter. it's like you can't You can't bully me for being in the CIA and also be bully me for being poor like this. yeah Can't you like milk some money out of some pro-democracy NGO or something like that? You got connections. I don't know. A lot of those leftist accounts took like Democrat PAC money during Dude, absolutely. I just couldn't do it, man. Those people kept hitting me up for like, hey, can you do this get out the vote campaign or anything? Every time I got one of those emails, I thought of that five year old Palestinian girl who got shot by the Israeli tank. And I was just like, man, no, I'm sorry. Fuck you people. I can't do this. That's the most frustrating thing about these, like that, like Perlomania dude and like all these other like huge, like left accounts on TikTok. Like three months ago, they were like, listen, guys, I know this situation in Palestine is bad, but we really got a vote for Kamala. And now they're like, you deserve actually to lose your funding. You deserve to lose your food stamps. And I'm like, wow, you guys really fucking missed the point, didn't you?
00:53:38
Speaker
And some of them were getting paid by Democrat super PACs. Others of them were like manufacturing consent for free to vote for Democrat politicians. I can imagine doing that for free, Dan. Yeah. I can totally get, I mean, like you're a North Carolina resident, right, Spencer, still? Yeah. Yeah. So like I can imagine pushing a North Carolina campaign being like focusing on trans rights and like immigrants and stuff and be like, you know what?
00:54:06
Speaker
You know the classic democratic thing of the other guys worse, but yeah Telling people in California to vote for Kamala Harris. Fuck off, dude. Come on. What are you doing? Thank you
00:54:23
Speaker
It's like yeah really we went to one of the first mission trips I went on with my youth group. We went to Baja, California, you know, which like I thought was Mexico. And I guess I guess it technically is Mexico, but it's like not really. But ah and we got off the bus and and they're like, you know, the like people who lived in the town were like, oh, cool, what are you guys doing here? And we're like, we're bringing you Jesus. We're we bringing you a church. And they were like, yeah, we know who there's a Catholic temp like but it's right there. Like they were like, we know who Jesus is.
00:54:53
Speaker
Oh my god, one of my mission first mission trips was to New York. And and we stayed at, I forget which New York college we stayed at, but yeah we were like, yeah we we thought we were in like, <unk> we thought we were in the thick of it because- We were just in Harlem. Yeah, no, it was, it was, ah it was fine. I mean, there was, I mean, it was a college campus and in the summer. And we, I remember, like, that was the first time I saw, I was like, ah like, they had coed dorms. It was like, here's a floor. Here's a floor. And we're like, ah and it's like, Oh, where's the guy's bathroom? they're Like, no, it's just a bathroom. And I'm like, where in hell?
00:55:36
Speaker
like we in the the devil's court yeah holy shit these people need salvation this is and he didn't take it down for all week now it was like you tell like don't worry our church was like designated male and female bathrooms very i remember even at like 19 like 19 or 20 like finding out that there were people in the christian ministry that i was at a campus who had been like having real sex yeah i was like that's so like what a black anal sex you mean the kind of loophole they didn't do that it's like what blasphemy is this you know like they are part of a Christian ministry you know they're we're we're not like these heathens yeah anyway learned and learned a lot in the next couple of years yeah
00:56:25
Speaker
It is. ah No, that is that was a real line divider in college. and that The two things that were really like drove a wedge through ah where people were at in the kinds of conversations you would have with them was like, are you having sex? Are you drinking alcohol before you're 21? Dude, literally that was like a night. That was my downfall out of Christianity. Like I was I was in the I was in the Pentecostal like weird like ah campus ministry slash money cult, went to Mexico, had this like come to Jesus when actually leaving Jesus moment where I was like, oh, I don't believe any of this. Like, and then like still tried to like hold on. So I moved churches and I started this. What was Acts 22, Acts 21, 23. No, Acts 29. How many chapters are in Acts? it was how It was one to however many at chapters are in Acts.
00:57:17
Speaker
But I joined Mark Driscoll like Baptist ah Church Plant that started in an elementary school gymnasium and started playing praise and worship there. And I remember meeting with the pastor and just casually, I've been dating this girl for like two years and casually mentioning it. I was like, oh yeah, me and Maddie are going to go ah stay at my sister's place this weekend where house sitting for. And the pastor like grabbed my arm and was like,
00:57:40
Speaker
wait, y'all are staying in a house by yourself. And I was like, yeah, man, we've been together for two years. And he's like, are you guys engaging in premarital sex? And I was like, yeah, like a lot. that's like bradley yeah I was like, have you had sex? It fucking rules, dude. Adam should have tempted Eve with sex, not an apple. It is so funny. That was such an existential life. Yeah. Like we there was a there was a couple of girls like in the orbit of our church and school and stuff like that, that had gotten pregnant, you know, as teenagers. Yeah. And it it was like a forever like mark of shame. Yeah, like the scarlet letter level stuff. Yeah. There was like one person that I grew up with like just didn't speak of, just didn't speak of them. Yeah. There was a girl who got pregnant at our middle school and she, she tried to hop a train. Damn.
00:58:36
Speaker
Yeah, dude. Literally, like, yeah. Tried to just take it out of town. We had a train track behind our school and she tried to hop the train during recess one day because she was like so excommunicated for being proud. I don't know why I'm laughing. It's actually very sad. It's really horrifying. since but Saying this now as an adult, I'm like, oh, that's awful. What's fucked is... ah The girls who got pregnant when they were young were basically had like the scarlet letter on them. But if you found out a girl had had sex but wasn't pregnant, you were like, so I have a chance. She might actually fuck me. Yeah. a Hold on. Wait, that one has sex? OK, I'm going to start talking to that one. I also wonder like how, like, Casey, you were homeschooled, right?
00:59:27
Speaker
I went to a little Christian school. That was just me. Okay, okay. So two of us were homeschooled. Yeah, HSFL, dude. Yeah, there you go. Two went to real school or fake school. um I think the homeschooling thing also was like another layer of like, I just didn't know. And also, I mean, you know Spencer, you and I were like the last, like I guess, non-native internet generation, at least I was. like I was a late, my family were late adopters.
00:59:54
Speaker
We had a television that we would keep in the attic and bring down to watch VHS tapes up until like 2008 or nine, you know. Oh, I was i was cranking it to online porn by that point. Yeah. and I didn't even know what that was, right? Like I think my first even exposure to that was just like stray thoughts about Padme Amidala.
01:00:15
Speaker
episode two of Star Wars. I was like, the what is this melody? I'll i'll never forget ah when my dad, my dad's at work, my mom brought my younger brother to baseball and I grabbed my dad's Braveheart DVD so I could pause it on that dark lit scene in the lake where you see his wife's tits. Damn. Oh, man. That was a moment for me that'll be forever. No, I was pretty much trying to see boobs at every point in my life. My friends and I used to go to the scrambled porn channel on the very end of cable because there used to be an end
Internet Controls and Accountability
01:00:50
Speaker
to cable. We didn't have cable. I was so excited. We didn't even have cable partially because of that. There were no avenues. There was a family computer, and I wouldn't be caught dead looking for anything on that. But if any parents are listening right now, I want to point out that McBride is way smarter than any of us, so do not put screens in front of your children. Because I was going to websites like boobs.com and pussy.org.
01:01:13
Speaker
I like that. That's an organization to my friend. My friends and I still talk about it because that was a legit website. and We're like, dude, nice of that little nonprofit to exist for us. I love that you talked about the scramble porn channel because my I when I was I lived on Cape Cod, Massachusetts. And I didn't know that. Hell, yeah. Great chips. Yeah. Yeah. ah Lived in a ranch and we had two front. So you have ranches usually have two front doors. So we had one that went into like the near near the kitchen which is like the dining room formal room and then we had one that came in there at the. ah Just ah the family room with a TV and the computer yeah it was my dad. I can't think of a single time in my entire childhood when my dad came through the door that was nearest the kitchen.
01:02:02
Speaker
I know where this is going. I was in the family room, the door that's typically used. My dad came home early from work one day for some reason. I'm watching the Scramble porn channel. I have my hand down my pants and I'm cranking it under the boxers. My dad comes in, not at the door, he always comes in. He comes in, I hear the door open by the the kitchen and I yeah you do that Scramble movie like try to shove your hard dick back down the side of your leg. So it's like,
01:02:29
Speaker
It's like not all squashed up in your pants or shit. My balls hit. I'm doing fine. I change the channel and I'm like acting all casual. oh go Home from home? No, I'm early dead. I only thought about this in the past couple of years. i swear there's there There's almost no chance that my dad didn't come to the main door first and probably saw what was happening and was like, I'm going to just use the other door and not have this conversation.
01:02:58
Speaker
Oh my god. There are so many times that like we thought we we thought we got away from our parents when in reality our parents probably just didn't want to deal with talking to us about masturbation. Yeah, they're like, I'm not doing this right now. I'm going to give them at least two, three strikes before we have this guy.
01:03:16
Speaker
I don't know about you guys, but like my parents when I was that age were like my age now. Yeah. So like no way in hell if, could I imagine finishing up work today? And I'm like, Oh, you know what? I'm going to go take the dog for a walk. But then as I walk downstairs, I see my non-existent, like prepubescent child, absolutely a abusing his crotchel space. And I'm just like, I don't have, I don't have the time to talk about this. I'm just going to have to pretend I didn't see that.
01:03:40
Speaker
I'm going to fiddle with the keys for a long time before I get in that door. I don't want empathy for like all dads thinking about that. like I'm the age that they were probably starting to have some of those questions now. But no, I have like a distinct memory because my my parents tried to be proactive about this stuff right because like they were early adopters for that crazy software that Mike Johnson bragged about.
01:04:08
Speaker
Covenant Eyes. So we installed Covenant Eyes on our computers and devices and everything. it was like ah Back then it was a browser, so you had to disable all the browsers on your devices. And could only that's right and again, I'm probably like 13 or 14. I'm still so innocent of this stuff that the only thing that i I was doing is that I had seen somewhere, I don't know, some maybe it was like Tumblr. I don't even know if I was, I don't think I was even on Tumblr at that point.
01:04:34
Speaker
But I knew that there was some scene where ah ah Anne Hathaway like had her tits out in a movie somewhere. all our fun like I didn't even have the courage to type in like Anne Hathaway boobs.
01:04:49
Speaker
I would type in the name of that movie, which I've forgotten now, and I would just type it in and I would click, take safe searches safe search off, and on the images, right? And I didn't even know what like masturbation was at that point, so I would just like fill myself with that satanic energy, watching it in half way through. Not even, I wouldn't click on the images, right? I was so afraid. I'm not kidding. Yeah. and is There are both hands on the keyboard. Like they these babies aren't going anywhere. Exactly. They're going to keep it wholesome. But the best thing is that my dad had an accountability partner through the church and they had access to the covenantized software and he flagged these searches. Oh no. And from my dad and my mom.
01:05:33
Speaker
My dad and my mom together took me on a walk around the neighborhood. And my mom is just like bawling the entire time. yeah so sad sweet actually yeah My dad is trying to explain why masturbation is wrong. and and And not really saying that word or any words that might be helpful in helping me navigate this, but just like just reinforcing all of the Calvinist guilt that I had already been feeling.
01:06:04
Speaker
And it was just like one of the lowest moments of my life. I was like, especially now when I think about like, yeah I think about this, my religion professor in college talked about how this monk at a monastery he would go to a lot would hear confession from the nuns next door. And they would describe these sins to him.
01:06:24
Speaker
And the monk said it was like cotton balls hitting his ears because like they were so such holy people that their idea of like a terrible sin, it's just like the most mild thing. Like me like not even typing in Anne Hathaway boobs, but just the title of that film and clicking image results turn safe shirts off. And that still registers on the like anti porn software. I'm like man, I think it's gone full throated. It's love and other drugs by the way.
01:06:54
Speaker
so thank you great all right now we all know we're doing tonight but yeah it is so It was so impactful and they're like having the most serious conversation. They're like, they're trying to map their route. They're like, what we need to talk to Charles. ah We would normally go this way, but there's a bridge that way. We need to report bridges. Yeah, exactly. like this This walk was like very deliberate. and ah Oh my God. Your dad should have done the right thing and released your mom from that responsibility and just said, I'll take care of it.
01:07:29
Speaker
You don't have to walk. You should have, but I think part of it taking you on a walk and just not brought it up at all. And just we're going for a walk, son. And then you just a nice quiet walk. You kind of know what it's about a little bit. He drops a tiny hint, and but doesn't say shit. And you just walk and you get back to the house and you're like, cool. And he's like,
01:07:50
Speaker
Cool, and then yeah like and then that then he goes to your mom. He's like we yeah, we're good. We're good dude My dad my dad did that to me one time and it wasn't first first off. It was way less a innocent than McRides is very nice and his parents handled it the right way I My friends and I i like you guys ever used to go to a website called e fucked I knew about it. I i never went to it. ah course it like you were fine up standing oright it's it was It was like shock porn that was like supposed to make you laugh at my friends and I were degenerates and we thought it was hilarious. And I think we went to it on like my family computer one time version of faces of death.
01:08:29
Speaker
Pretty much. Yeah, it was pretty dark. and I remember there was one scene that was really, really bad. I guess I didn't clear my the search history. My dad saw it and we were eating dinner. My sister was already in college. It was literally just my dad and I in the house. We're eating dinner and my dad just goes, hey, ah some of the stuff you're looking up on the internet isn't okay.
01:08:51
Speaker
No shit, dad.
01:08:53
Speaker
that's And I just went, I went, okay. Anyway. All right. And then you started talking about sports. yeah Dude. I literally learned about everything from a ah James Dobson book. Yeah. Called, uh, preparing for adolescence. Oh my parents handed it to me. Like it was a copy of the anarchist. Holy like shit. Don't let your, don't let your sister see this. Keep it somewhere safe.
01:09:19
Speaker
there we go secret keep it safe i've mind so safe yeah like just so readily available that's insane we don for a while Can do that ago we read so little move where you just like open it oh land on a spot and you just go ah wait to say not beat read us a passage? Yeah, this will not be craving for food. In the same way, some new chemicals in your body will begin to develop brand new appetite when you're between 12 and 15 years old. This will not be a craving for food, but it will be in but it will involve a matter called sex or the male or female aspects of your nature. Every year, as you get older, this appetite will become more and more a part of you. You'll want to spend
01:10:04
Speaker
more of your time with someone of the opposite sex. Eventually, this desire may lead you to marriage. Marriage is a wonderful union for those who find the right person. However, let me offer a word of caution on that subject. One of the biggest mistakes you can make with your life is to get married too soon. Tell that to Liberty University students.
01:10:25
Speaker
oh That can be tragic. I want to stress to know he's going to shoot himself in the foot real quick here. Uh, I want to stress that point in your mind for two people to get married before they are ready could be a disaster. Unfortunately, this happens all too frequently. I will say more about this subject later in the book, but I strongly dev advise you not get married until you're at least 20 years of age.
01:10:52
Speaker
You know, because you're old. and Too soon. You mean before you can legally even drink? who i will say more um but About half of all teenage marriages blow up within the first few years, causing many tears and problems. I don't want yours to be one of those broken homes.
01:11:13
Speaker
Man, I literally like James Dobson taught me about masturbation. That's amazing. Boys will become very interested in the bodies of girls and the way that they're built in their curves and softness and in their pretty ah and their pretty hair and eyes.
01:11:30
Speaker
Uh, even their feminine feet may have an appeal to boys during this time. Oh my god, James Dobson was a foot guy in the foot. This guy saw him watching foot fetishes. Yeah, I look at him, he's 80 years old. Dude, he's 88. James Dobson has spent way too much time talking, thinking about girls' feet, little girls' feet. Dude, he's on Footfinder for sure. my note My note below it was, they do now.
01:11:57
Speaker
the The amount of boys who were like, I wasn't thinking about feet, but it's like if James Dobson was like, don't think about elephants. Man, chicken soup for the horny soul. ah Somebody posted my wife on WikiFeet, and it's a it's I'm constantly ah harassed about it from one of my... Your wife is on WikiFeet? Yeah, somebody like posted her pictures on WikiFeet. Oh, because she's like a she's a pretty popular cosplayer, right?
01:12:27
Speaker
Yeah, she was just not as much anymore. But yeah, shoot for a minute there. She was kind of all over the place and she's like, yeah, I cut that shit out quick.
01:12:36
Speaker
I don't care. I just I don't get it. That's crazy. I don't either, man. It's real weird.
Adolescent Influences and Prophecies
01:12:43
Speaker
I don't know how you end up with that. Like. There's definitely worse things to have, but I'm not sure what chain of events in your like adolescent mind leads you to be like feeder for me. I'm gonna ask my therapist now. James Dobson is definitely a part of that. Yeah, we gotta get him on the pod, dude. yeah Oh my God. I would die. I'd pay $200 for him. To have a conversation ah to have like a real serious conversation with him would be one of the most incredible moments of my life.
01:13:14
Speaker
I want to have a, I want to have a sit down conversation with the guy who prophesied over me when I was like 20. Yeah. would and just be like and And just be like, Hey bud, you were like so off. but Did he tell you you were going to have a long, happy marriage? none Ouch. but not sorry ouch no ah so sorry dude No, it was, uh, it was at this thing called campus harvest. The church was, uh, I think it's Kings park church, which is technically in Durham.
01:13:42
Speaker
No, it's, in no, yeah, it's in Durham, Kings Park church. There's no way he's still the same pastor. Let me see if this guy pops up staff. Whoa. No, wait. Yeah. Here. Oh my God. Whoa. He's still there. Ron Lewis, dude. Yeah. Louis pastor, Ron Lewis. Oh my God. This guy wanted me to make, he wanted to, he wanted to make me his protege and I was like,
01:14:05
Speaker
No, thank you. you want to like fly me Yeah, he wanted to like fly me up to New York with him and like do like guest sermons. I was at this campus harvest thing with the ah the weird like, oh my God, I'm Pentecostal, like campus ministry thing. Steve, buddy, go away. I love you, but damn. Sorry, my dog's being so needy. um And ah they had they had like some dude there who was like a well-known pastor in that religious like campus circuit, I cannot remember his name. But both he, I went into Ron Lewis' big like corner office overlooking the parking lot. it's not And they prophesied over me and he was like, you're gonna lead millions to Christ in the continent of Africa. He's like, I see them calling you the Lion King. And I was like, yeah, dude. Oh Insane. Like insane. The Lion King. Yeah, dude. And it was like, I'm pretty sure it's because I was wearing an Invisible Children shirt.
01:14:58
Speaker
right That just like immediately like summons to my mind like that video that goes around on the internet once in a while of the like the group of white Navy sailors singing the the Lion King theme. You know the one I'm talking about? Yeah, dude. It's such a good video. Yeah, man, it was a way off. An Invisible Children shirt. i had i think it was I think it was Invisible Children.
01:15:24
Speaker
Uh, but it just it said like africa and had something a bunch of other like things making a picture of the continent of africa And you're just like I wonder Oh someone someone did manage to save a fuck ton of people in africa because africa is now like the number, like, he's like the most Christians in the world now. Yeah, I boy inflicted to someone else. I said yeah popcorn next guy. He said double and said double it and give it to the next guy. yeah i I just I remember wearing a shirt that was like supposed to be some Christian missionary type shirt of like, I care about these things, even though I don't do anything about these. things Dude, I know exactly what you said. it You said it had like, was it all the languages of Africa, but it was ah in the shape of the continent? And I think did it say agape at one point?
01:16:10
Speaker
I don't. I don't. It could have. I don't remember. I just remember wearing it to work. I worked at Liberty University at the time. So all adjacent people, even if they were like secretly not Christian anymore. And a a friend of mine who had been trying to get on the podcast forever because his story is.
01:16:27
Speaker
wild. um He was like, we were just sitting there. It's, it's quiet. It's early. We're just, we worked in the mail room. We're just stuffing envelopes. And he goes, I think it's really cool that you're that passionate about Africa. And I was just like, God damn it. Like I can't even wear that. He, he just passive aggressively called me out so hard that I'm never going to wear this shirt again. Brutal, absolutely brutal.
01:16:52
Speaker
yeah Africa was like this mythological thing as a kid. like My yeah my church was the churches I was in were never huge on mission work, but I remember when I would go to like Christian conferences and stuff. the didn Africa is like as concept was just so overwhelming. It was like this this place, it was like this arena, right? It's like Hunger Games. It's like that's where the Christians, you're gonna go and you're going to <unk> you're gonna get killed there. It's gonna be like Into the Spear. And you aren't a real Christian if you're not willing to go fear be like that guy who yeah went to Papua New Guinea and got speared.
01:17:28
Speaker
Yeah that guy. Yeah there is an inspirational movie about that Mormon kid that got scared on the like the the Micronesian beach. yeah What's so funny is the entire to the resistance, regardless of whatever mission trip to Africa like happened. Cause I had a lot of friends like go work in like Kenya and Uganda and like, you know, all over, uh, just to like being involved in it. And I never went cause I was a giant pussy, but like every time I thought, I thought about it. I was just, like I just imagined it was like, I was like, if I went, it would just be Ace Ventura.
01:18:02
Speaker
yeah You're there to crack jokes and jump out of Rhino's asshole. Yeah, dude. I would just be like, bumblebee tuna to everyone I saw. There was an element of selling like the ah the excitement and danger of it. like Missionary workers almost like represented like an episode of Johnny Quest or something. Yeah, dude. It's like you meet the guy with the two big lizards on chains.
01:18:28
Speaker
Yeah, there's a it's just like that missionary tourism aspect of things. it's yeah Big time, dude. Yeah. It sucks. I did a missions trip to Jamaica and basically got a free vacation to Jamaica where I was just disappointed that I didn't...
01:18:44
Speaker
connect with some of the people that I thought were my friends and two of the girls that, one of the girls that I liked didn't like me back. And you're just like, what the fuck? I paid all this money to try to like, like I i was forced to come into, come face to face with my own reasoning for being there. When I'm like, I came back from this place disappointed as fuck because I don't like these people anymore. And I was trying to be friends with them. And I liked that girl and she doesn't,
01:19:14
Speaker
she liked these other people, and I realized that I came back from Jamaica with nothing, even though I was the first- And then you had to all get up and give the compelled speech where every kid gets up and goes,
01:19:25
Speaker
Oh, it just really makes you appreciate what you have. Yeah. I think I honestly, I honestly think the people there had a bigger impact on me than I had on them, which is the understatement of the century because I had rescued who? We're treating them like rescue animals. Like I literally just watched. I remember going to an orphan. This is Fox dude.
01:19:50
Speaker
I went to a like a little orphanage thing where i it was all for like children who had like various forms of in a ah ah disabilities yeah and deformities and I'm in there literally watching flies crawl over their eyes.
01:20:08
Speaker
and the dude for what for what it was just it's just like what's what's the word it's like the whatever porn like they trauma porn yeah trauma porn yeah yeah i'm like sitting there and and i'm like sick to my stomach and i feel sad and i go but i'm not and and you go i'm i'm we paid all this money to come here so that way we could just like say hi to these kids like this is fucked I knew that, I knew that was so fucked when I was there. And that's what you pay. like I raised money for that shit.
Humor and Environmental Commentary
01:20:43
Speaker
It's wild. Charles, where's your next trip? You going to Tehran or something like that? maybe He's actually going to, he's going to go to Jamaica and witnessed everybody. Yeah. It's like, uh, the kids in the orphanage I saw are adults now and Charles was going there to help them build their, their new homes.
01:21:02
Speaker
Yeah. families That's actually really funny because I was supposed to go to Jamaica like a month ago on a home building project that my disaster relief client had started. Yeah, you and the boys going to do another coup down there? A little on the nose. You're going to start a puppet regime, Mr. C? Ever since USAID funding has been cut, I can no longer use my humanitarian guys in order to enact regime change in developing countries. so Bummer! I've heard that Greenland is really nice this year. It is, yeah. If you suddenly screw up your summer in Georgia, whales, then you'll you're going to know that it's coming. It's moments away. They have it tough over there. The whales have it tough. They do, yeah. I know. ah You have ah people always trying to kill them for their blubber. It's fucked. Yeah. That's wild. We're not on the same page with whales.
01:21:58
Speaker
I, is Greenland known for whales? I enjoyed blubber. I mean, um I think some of the whales deserve it, you know? a Good whaling is all whales. Guys, hashtag not all
Career Choices and Activism
01:22:09
Speaker
whales. Okay. Yeah. I like it when they, uh, when they round them into a cove and then run them all through a cheese grater. Dude. let You guys watch that documentary? That shit was wild. I've never watched it. I've just heard about it.
01:22:24
Speaker
I just think, cove I mean, when it comes to the whales, like, do we really think 6 million whales died? i i don't I still don't really know what 6 million people looks like. I don't know. 6 million is a number I can't comprehend financially, physically. There's a lot, that's just too much.
01:22:42
Speaker
Yeah. just talking ask me to give If you asked me to get an idea of what six million grains of sand looked like, I don't know if I'm looking at a beach or a cup of sand. I just like i know the whaling industry was bad, but do you think they really used harpoons? I don't know. Six million harpoons? That's a lot of harpoons. This is his Darryl Cooper take on ah marine mammals.
01:23:04
Speaker
but
01:23:08
Speaker
Yeah, actually, eight well, Adolf was short for a dolphin, so. there you go ah But for real, all right, what do you got to figure out? ah Get into what are you guys up to? Charles, what do you got? Are you? You would you you're always doing something, man. Right now you're chilling. What are you doing next?
01:23:25
Speaker
I am chilling, yeah. I'm kind of taking a breath from like wildfire relief because that's now- After that much smoke inhalation, you got to take a few. ah Seriously, it kind of, it threw me. I triggered my acute bronchitis, so I've been coughing it up a bit. but um Yeah, i so I was supposed to go to Ukraine. I was supposed to go back to Ukraine this month, um but because of the wildfires and the continuing stuff here, i basically that trip got pulled, so I'm staying i'm going to be based in LA for a couple months now, ah helping with the effort. but so It's not that safe to fly anymore, so be careful.
01:24:01
Speaker
Yeah, I know. But i got like I need to renew my passport. I've got like actually some credit card points saved up. I might make my give myself like a little actual like vacation at some point in the coming months that's not to a war zone or a disaster zone.
01:24:17
Speaker
not yet and Don't worry it will be soon Yeah, I'm kind of prestige maxing this year I think I need to actually like take my career seriously instead of being like a shit poster and just like throwing stuff at the wall and So I think I'm gonna try and like get a book deal In like star podcast because you know, I'm about to turn 30. So my biological clock is ticking on that front and Don't say that to people who are closer to 40 than 30. Yeah My so i'm kind of creative eggs are drying up.
01:24:49
Speaker
I wanna write a lot this year. Yeah, I wanna write a lot and I'm wondering if I should keep, I think I should just keep doing that on the blog until I have like enough to make a book and then I pitch somebody on a book deal. Yeah. I like that. Dude, that's sick. I think ah if anyone can can do that, you can. you you are You have this ability to make weird shit happen. I don't, I don't, i'm ah I've always been a little bit of a dreamer. I have these ideas of what would be cool if I did.
01:25:17
Speaker
did a cool thing I'm like oh that'd be cool I would like to do that but here I am uh just doing normal American person shit and I think you're like you're an interesting guy because you really are like oh this seems like something that would be this I care about this so I guess I'll just go do it and uh I don't I don't think most people all right i most people don't do that they just go like that seems cool and they like write a Facebook post and they yeah And then they maybe they and they argue with people who comment on it about why everyone else is wrong and they need to care about X, Y, and Z. But like at the end of the day, a lot of what people argue about is ah it's not bad to have those conversations about what's important, um but you have you have those conversations and then you go, I guess I'll just go there and do what I can.
01:26:13
Speaker
And I think that's fucking sick, dude. I i really appreciate that about you. And that's one of the reasons we love having you on as much as we can. Thanks, man. Yeah, the Arkons don't want you to know this, but you can actually, you can tamper with the reality temple. You can do the deja vu in the Matrix. You can just do things like the elites don't want you to know that you can just buy a flight to a war zone or a close enough there. um I don't, I don't recommend that most people do that, but I do think that there's like
01:26:44
Speaker
People have agency in a way that they don't really think. The only real American value is just trying stuff and seeing what works. like as As a people, that's the only thing that we've, like our consistent principle, throwing shit on a wall and seeing what sticks. say As a ah man with a family, I will say, I think i think the real American value is ah wanting to do more Yeah. chris Crippling debt. Yeah. Wanting to do more and then realizing that, like, you don't, you can't. Like, I think that's so for, I think I feel that's at this time in, in what I look at, like, what's going on, what people like us ah on the left side of things are passionate about the things that we're fearful of. um The differences we wish we could make. I just go, I feel so fucking lost and frustrated.
01:27:40
Speaker
Like, and it feels like that's kind of like the real that's the space that so many people are in. It's like, what can we do? And you're like, you could just go and do stuff. And I go, I love that. I'm glad you but I don't know if I can like I'm there's so many things going on all the time. I have so many responsibilities. It feels like there's this inability to do things to create the world you want to You either have to lose the things you have to create the world you want or keep the things you have and like resign the world that you want to other people. And that's hard. Or in my case. It's a false dichotomy. It is a false dichotomy. I'm just telling you that's the feeling.
01:28:20
Speaker
No, I and I think there's some reality to that. And in my case, I mean, part of that decision was like, not getting a part of the world that I do want, which is like, stability, regular community and a family um in order to do this type of stuff. I mean, there's a there's a part of this, which is like, the only reason I can do this is because I'm like, single white and have an American passport, if I'm being perfectly honest, because like, I don't even have like, I have the Nepo baby looks, but without the Nepo baby money. So I don't even have that. but But I mean, I think part of it is also understanding, like, so understanding how history works, understanding from my just like had a nonprofit job in DC, a couple of nonprofit jobs, understanding how the fund like the nonprofit fundraising world moves on stories, understanding stories are important, and then just adapting your particular skill set.
01:29:11
Speaker
to this like recent example in the LA wildfires everyone wanted to like pack boxes and stuff and I kept telling people like no you should adapt your thing that you're already working on at your work that you're really good at and find a way to fit it into fire relief because if you're really good at excel then like that's going to be more useful than you like being in a high vis vest directing traffic or wrapping a box And so I think people see people like me and they're like, that guy, he's he's doing it. you know But for every person like me, there's a million people who are not yapping on the internet, but who are you know sitting behind a spreadsheet or like helping run accounting for a food bank somewhere or volunteering their time to do
01:29:55
Speaker
something like that. And those are all really small revolutionary acts, I think. you know Murray Bookchin, the guy who's like I think is the most, in my opinion, the the the anarchist philosopher, I respect the most, he said, the most revolutionary thing that you can do is grow food in your own garden and feed it to your community. That's something that's accessible to most of us. um you know So I think that you don't need to be like the Anthony Bourdain of human rights to like do something useful for for the world. And and being being that stuff is also fraught with with all this other stuff. you know The international aid apparatus, as it stands, is in part a form of neocolonialism. There's times where I struggle with the concept of, like well, by working in this, am I actually perpetuating some of the things that I'm trying to uproot? like This whole thing with USAID,
01:30:46
Speaker
USAID is basically kind of a front for the CIA. And at the same time, there are like tens of thousands of people all around the world whose livelihoods and businesses and educational opportunities are dependent on the money that comes through it. So it's like, yeah, but for the most part I think.
01:31:03
Speaker
Doing the thing looks differently for everybody, and you don't need to be like giving yourself trauma and going to war zones and yapping on the internet like into a camera from a disaster stick-stricken place to make an impact. I firmly believe that. I have so many questions I want to ask you, but i've we'll just wormhole. I do have one that I have forgot to ask you every time we've had you on.
01:31:30
Speaker
Have you in your travels to like Ukraine and stuff, have you ever met like an American soldier of fortune that went over there to like. fight the enemy and is just like Mr. Bean. Yes, yes. No, a thousand times. Yes. Like I eventually I want to eventually like five years from now, once I've once I've abandoned working in like disaster relief and um want to just do like full time writing stuff.
01:32:03
Speaker
I want to write a book called Disaster Vultures, and it's going to be about the types of people who show up in a war zone or a disaster zone, ah so seeking to help, saying they're there to help, sometimes with good intentions, sometimes with bad intentions, but you will just never encounter the types of, you won't imagine the types of personalities that you encounter of people who end up in places like this.
01:32:29
Speaker
um And it's the it's one of the reasons that like my group in Ukraine, we won't even take Western volunteers anymore because we've had such negative experiences and and Western volunteers have such a poor reputation in Ukraine that like we just don't want to mess with it because you have to find out really quickly early on if someone's running towards something or from something.
01:32:50
Speaker
And, you know, if it's the second one, then they are just going to, they're a ticking time bomb. And they're, they're running away. Like, I remember I had a call from the students to work for my old congressman. And he was describing his friend who was like an alcoholic and got a DUI. and He's on like his third DUI. And he was like i'm gonna go to ukraine and he's like i want to help those people out and that would give me some purpose and it's like well you don't speak the language you're not you know a nurse or a doctor or anything like that like how are you actually gonna help they're just viewing someone another country's trauma through the myopic lens of their own self actualization.
01:33:26
Speaker
And that's like so damaging and it's so annoying ah to encounter these people in this environment, and whether it's the soldier of fortune types. And then you have to spend weeks sometimes just judging this person's moral character and figuring out why are you even here? Like, are you there scrolling on Tinder for like, you know, like Slavic chicks who think you think are going to be impressed by an American passport?
Empathy in Aid Work
01:33:52
Speaker
just You definitely encountered some of those, ah that's wild. Oh, yeah, no, seriously. And like stories of just like all people misbehaving. And then there's the the actual professional types, like the long term conflict journalists who are just like so traumatized. And they're so cynical because of all this the bloodshed they've seen all over the world. It's hard to do this job and maintain your empathy without like cauterizing it after seeing so much stuff. Yeah, ah that's I mean, there's that that's a whole nother book.
01:34:23
Speaker
You know, someday, that's the follow up to your first book deal. I think that's an interesting idea though, because I think I like that. Yeah. That's such a distinctly like, um, that's such a common occurrence in, um, in like American culture. And you see it like in so many different forms, you know, it's in Christianity. It's in, I always think the one that always pops to mind is like the, uh, you know,
01:34:49
Speaker
white person who gets really into like Eastern religion and and like they just go there and and they're they're pitching this version of themselves that's like you know enlightened and smiley and thankful for every little piece of whatever they get and stuff but it's really like you're just looking around Bangladesh like what can I milk out of this for me you know yeah
01:35:15
Speaker
yeah and that's like i mean i yeah Again, like my I'm often working against my physiognomy because I look like precisely that type of person. i look like yeah Someone told me the other day, that they said, it's giving using my parents trust fund to travel around the world as a do-gooder. You look like your dad had to make a call to keep you on the lacrosse team.
01:35:37
Speaker
yeah Yeah, exactly. and And so it's really interesting because I think I actually benefit from the fact that people's second impression of me tends to be a lot better than their first, especially if they encounter me just like online, or they see my Instagram, they see something like that. Like they tend to once they realize that I'm kind of in it for the cause, and I'm not trying to be exploitative, and I'm not um Yeah, and then i'm I'm not doing certain things that other people who look and talk like me, they think are not talk necessarily. But part of it is I don't do this out of charity. I don't do it out of sympathy. I do it out of empathy. I do it out of solidarity. And I think people can really feel that if they feel like you're you're actually kind of feel like you're in this with them without, you know, making light of the fact that they're going through something worse than you. And that's that's given me like lifelong friendships in these places.
01:36:35
Speaker
With and I've had people I've gone with who didn't take that attitude in and I had the exact same set of experiences with those people and the people don't even like that the other person but they're like will be a lifelong friend with me or they won't form a relationship with this person because they just don't they don't sense that this person is like in it with them.
01:36:59
Speaker
Which isn't even necessarily a bad thing to just do the right thing for the sake of it. But there's a way to do it in a robotic fashion versus like a personal fashion. Stay here, go there. And there's certain things, like I really care about like the history and the culture of these places when I do this sort of stuff. And people can feel like, is this like some Western person coming to graft their Western way of doing things onto this in their like do-good or hoity-toity?
01:37:26
Speaker
But then like you drop like some lore that you happen to know about the fucking Abbasid ca abbasid Caliphate, or like you know the Ukrainian civil war of 100 years ago, or the Cossacks, or like some random... Or you put on a song that's like some... like Like the Ramallah boys are like listening to, or whatever, and and then suddenly it's like, oh, wait, hang on. I think this person's actually curious about like what makes us us.
01:37:54
Speaker
This white kid knows about grizz, me and Shaw, dude. Yeah. So that's like, yeah, I mean, that's, that's really, I mean, I think a lot about like Spencer, like my friend, Rowan, who, you know, you, you did, you helped me with that video for, um, and like just such a close friend still, even though I've spent all of like 72 hours with this person, you know? Yeah. And.
01:38:20
Speaker
And it's also the reverse, too, because I think there's this this constant othering you know that happens of of people like you know Palestinians or Lebanese or people who live in refugee camps or people who are Muslims and that sort of stuff that happens in our culture. And I've had to come and I think I have so much sympathy with wherever people are at because I've come such a long way in this. And I think even in this past year, I had to unlearn so many things I'd accepted as default assumptions about the Middle East or about certain people or about, you know, everything, certain practices. And it was really crazy because like the reverse of that was like me finding out Rowan is like a huge Lord of the Rings nerd, you know, and being like, wait, that's like, oh, that's like what I'm into, you know, that's and then I think same for her, you know, it's just like a deeply humanizing moments. and And I look for that. I look for those moments everywhere that I do this, because I think that's how you create long term
01:39:13
Speaker
stuff with people.
Media Perceptions and Cultural Stereotypes
01:39:16
Speaker
I feel like you had a really good post about that, where you talked about like Palestinians being like people kind of their, I guess just their constant characterization of them as like, just these like quintessential long suffering victims, right not really recognizing anything else about them, you know? yeah but These people have high school sweethearts and like rivals, right right you know and like like issues with their family, and they have like favorite hangouts, except the only way that the media portrays them is either as like fanatical terrorists,
01:39:57
Speaker
or as these perpetual victims and these these like constant martyrs who were just there. one One guy was, I won't reveal, who was was helping me find a track for a specific thing and I had selected this one track and he was like, is this like, does this have significance? This this Arabic song or is this like the generic whale of Arab suffering?
01:40:22
Speaker
yeah
01:40:25
Speaker
And I was like, that's so true. You think about like movie set in the Middle East, the color grade changes. You hear the Nasheed going over on the mosque and it's just like, oh, okay, well, you know, we're here. We're here in anywhere in the Middle East. One of my favorite examples of this actually in Indiana Jones, where the character of Saleh shows up twice um to help India out both in the first film and in the third film.
01:40:52
Speaker
And the two locations where he shows up are both in the Middle East, but they are about 800 miles away from each other. And it's just assumed that Salah, our Middle Eastern character, is obviously going to be there to help them out when they arrive in the Middle East. But one of those places is like in Egypt.
01:41:09
Speaker
and it's in Egypt and then the other the other one is in, ah it's in like Kurdish Turkey, it's in like so southern Turkey, Hatai, like Hatai province. And those are like, there's like a thousand miles between those two places.
01:41:24
Speaker
old summer music and ran Yeah. And he's like talking about how he borrowed his, his, you know, brother's stuff. It's just, it's kind of funny to me. I mean, but yeah, maybe he did travel, but to me, the assumption is like, Oh yes. Our, our Arab character, he will be in both of these places. Yeah. Of course he is. Oh my God. Spencer.
01:41:44
Speaker
Nothing I say is going to be remotely as important. I know, we should start with you. We should start with you, Simon. No, you can get the clothes. Go ahead, tell us a joke. You're a comedian, right? Tell us a joke, funny man. I'm on a legally- I'm on a legally- legally-induced comedy hiatus. Legally-induced?
01:42:03
Speaker
i I don't know if I can actually talk about this. I'm dying right now. I can't wait till we hit stop when you can talk about it. Yeah, I'll say let's just say I'm taking a ah I'm taking a small hiatus from both performing and posting online. Yeah, yeah and that's ah and I am I'm losing my goddamn mind.
01:42:24
Speaker
while you wrap up some legal business that may or may not be related to some things that shouldn't. Exactly. Okay, some things that have been discussed towards the beginning of this podcast, that things that were won from all funny bones or just the Akron, Ohio funny bone for indecent. No, it's actually quite frustrating because I was, I was slated to open up for Mark Norman for a couple of shows.
Comedic Hiatus and Future Plans
01:42:47
Speaker
Dang.
01:42:48
Speaker
Yeah, so now I get to just uh exist in my you just get to do the growing up christian podcast again No, this is very fun. um No, but if you guys, if you want to eventually see content for me, you can follow me at Spencer Spicy, ah that's on TikTok and Instagram. I have a website, godsfavoritecomedian.com, where I will eventually post show dates. And eventually I will, I guess I can say this because, ah ah yeah, why not? But eventually I will be moving to Los Angeles, North Carolina. I can't say when.
01:43:21
Speaker
North, Los Angeles, North Carolina. sorry Love that place. that's one some her favorite places ah Small town in the Piedmont, North Carolina, and Los Angeles, California. Um, yeah, so I'm pretty stoked about that. But, uh, yeah, dealing with some personal stuff here in North Carolina. I'm in a purgatory purgatorial state, uh, and I'm losing my goddamn mind.
01:43:43
Speaker
Ah, well, that sounds like a bummer. We ah should have ended with Charles. ah Everybody actually who's listening, please go to the fighter and the kids Instagram and request Spencer as a guest.
01:43:58
Speaker
What is that? fighter in the kid No, I forget terrible podcast lore garbage. It's a man cauliflower here, right? Dude, I am. I guess I can talk about this. more flo Do you guys do you guys know you have permission? ah Dan Coke. Yeah.
01:44:14
Speaker
yeah fin ah we okay cool we've ah he's we've he's been the podcast it was a yeah but we have occasional interactions Dan and I are working on a, I can talk about this, Dan and I are working on a podcast together, so that'll be fun. Oh, dude, that'd be great.
01:44:28
Speaker
yeah yeah i did i did ah He did like a comedy version of You Have Permission for a few episodes and I did one and we just hit it off. I didn't even know he was like one of the lead guitarists for sure would. I had no idea. yeah Which is wild because I love that band in high school. But ah yeah, yeah, we've been we've been working on a podcast. ah Somewhat I hope he doesn't care. I talk about this cuz it's not official yet, but like it's loosely centered around dude culture. Okay yeah like the sound and i actually the left it's Are you the leftist podcaster that we have to bring back into the fold so that we that's where Tim walls elected in 2032 That's what we're working on maybe i' kind of i'm gonna Soft launch socialism to people via
01:45:13
Speaker
If you get a news podcast. We can all stand together and work really hard. Someday we can all serve under Pete Buttigieg. Yeah. Dan's someone I've thought about reaching back out to recently. We're on our, like, uh... Buttigieg? Yeah. Dan Buttigieg. Pete's brother. You should definitely do that. He's ah he's a great guy. I will say he's very busy. He's finishing up his degree. He is.
01:45:38
Speaker
But I also feel bad because i I got a new job back in November and it's like actually a very demanding job, which is don't get me wrong. I love making money because I have to use the tools of my oppressors to beat them. But but ah but yeah, I've been like.
01:45:56
Speaker
I've been working till like so late each night. So I just I was talking to a a girl that I've been ah ah committing sinful acts with recently. And I was just like, I didn't realize like how much I I have to like make. This is going to sound so gay saying this about comedy, but like, realize not to make art like I am. I am. I am rotting from the inside out because I can't perform my little jokes.
01:46:22
Speaker
i I'm always blown away by people who can work in off hours. Like Casey said something to me the other day about having to work late. ah i I work until I leave work and then I don't think about it again until the next day. I will not work at home. I will not work on weekends. I don't, my partitions have been very, very black and white since I entered the workforce. I'm happy for you. Cause I, I was, you know,
01:46:50
Speaker
ah My first job was in advertising and i was in like I tried to leave at five on the first day and they were like, what are you doing? And I was just like, oh, I'm in danger. Yeah. yeah ah But no, nothing nothing going on. Something will be going on hopefully here.
01:47:09
Speaker
fingers crossed in less than a month. ah But ah for now, ah boy, do I have to be quiet. yeah i'll I'll tell you guys once we stop recording. but Perfect. I can't. I'm eager to hear. But yeah guys having you guys both on at the same time, this is fun. This is a good four way. I appreciate you guys having a nice foursome together. No, it's very fun. usually Usually I just bother McBride in our group chat about weapons information. That's not true you gave me a personal wellness check the other day that was very I did yeah I did i was like hey man thinking about you. Hey brother. I wanted to check in and i think i I Think I sent like seven memes to the chat before I responded to your like heartfelt message which is like oh You're fine cuz I don't
01:47:52
Speaker
i check I check Signal like once every two days, so you're totally fine. We but we finally moved over the toxic leftist group chat to Signal because we're just something- From Discord. or Have I not? As my witness, I have been yeah saying that we should do this for three years, but as soon as Trump got reelected, we were like, you know, we probably shouldn't be spreading anti-government propaganda and actionable threats on a meta platform.
01:48:15
Speaker
Yeah, we've got, we've there's like three guys in there who I don't even know, but they were, there was one day where it was like, I don't want to say it on a recorded platform. We were saying some not great things about elected officials. Let's just say that. and yeah Is the meta platform discord? Is that, I thought this is an Instagram group. Okay.
01:48:35
Speaker
It's full of full of probably half CIA informants and half the Gooners. Yeah. So now now we're on an, and now we use an encrypted platform to talk. And it's funny because I use that app to talk to McBride and my leftist friends and also my therapist.
01:48:50
Speaker
Hell yeah. which's but It's also really funny because that's the app the CIA actually uses as a signal. It's the only one that they trust. so Yeah. They probably have a Well, actually, it's a good, like, if if it's the only... How would you know that, me bride? Harold's like, I don't even have to make a profile. yeah yeah I actually shouldn't have revealed how I know that. Oops.
01:49:13
Speaker
Oh, fire. I'm a troll. It involves other people. I would never. Thank you guys both for ah joining us tonight. This was a good time. Yeah, this was rad. Yeah, thank you and thanks everybody for listening. See you next time.