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Ep. 231 – The Hickman Diaries: Honey Bunchkins of Scrotes
263 Plays21 days ago
This week we’re catching up and diving into the dark, mysterious, and sticky world of the only man on Earth with both a bowl cut AND the Holy Ghost baptism, Bob Hickman! Truck driver by day and internet prophet by night, Bob is a fascinating character that you may recognize by his opening line “God entered my body, like a body my same size. Like me floating into you, or you floating into me…” Recently Bob’s content has taken an unexpected turn, and we just had to talk about it. If you want to follow him on IG, his primary (I think?) account is @god.has.entered.my.body, but be warned, it is NOT safe for work!
P.S. We aren't releasing an episode next week because Casey will be on vacation. See you in June!
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Transcript
Introduction and Life Updates
00:00:00
Speaker
uh like uh here another one is just like it's a woman with her arms out she's at the beach like part of her bathing suits like tucked in like to her butt crack a little bit and it's like god said my ways are not your ways and my thoughts are not your thoughts well i'm finding out they are but worse what does that mean it's so ominous
00:00:42
Speaker
Hey everybody, welcome to another episode of Growing Up Christian. I'm Sam. I'm Casey. And the boys are back! we We haven't done an episode just us two in quite a minute. we've I know. We've hopped on that guest train and brought back some of our old faves.
00:00:58
Speaker
and yeah and i i was start It feels like i mean it's been ah quite a while since we've just done this, ah ah just us, but i I was really starting to miss it.
00:01:09
Speaker
It's been too long. Yeah, well, and
Graduation Reflections
00:01:13
Speaker
I feel like ah we haven't gotten a life update from from you know the the the tsunami wreckage that that you've cultivated for yourself amidst like your 14 major life changes and moving and all that.
00:01:29
Speaker
Yeah. ah Yeah, life update for me. i i I am officially done with grad school. I think the last time I mentioned it, I was taking my...
00:01:40
Speaker
or just took my comprehensive final exam, something like that. um All smooth sailing, passed, no problem, which is great because I was really in my head about it. I turned in my last couple assignments, and ah i tomorrow's Tuesday, day we're recording. I graduate in two days. I go to my graduation, which I didn't want to go to
Religious Influence on Media
00:02:00
Speaker
because I think graduations are lame, and I didn't go to my undergrad one.
00:02:04
Speaker
ah It was also partly because it was Liberty University, and they haven't had it. I don't know if they've ever had a good commencement speaker in the last 20 years, but I don't remember who Mike was. got Mike's face. You had Glenn Dine.
00:02:16
Speaker
Oh, you had Ben Stein. I had Ben Stein, yeah. Who is uber racist? Yeah. an an an uber racist yeah Well, they had Glenn Beck, I think, after the year after you, maybe.
00:02:31
Speaker
um Because I graduated, I think, a couple years after because I did the long the long-term plan and the pay-as-you-go plan. And I can't... it was It wasn't Hannity. Who'd they have?
00:02:45
Speaker
Bill O'Reilly? Did he do it? um I don't remember. Glenn Beck was the last one that I remember. And we thought about going... like The guys that I worked with, we thought about going just for the sake of entertainment. But...
00:02:57
Speaker
we decided ultimately that we probably, it probably wouldn't be very funny and we wouldn't be able to have a good time. What could, what could Bill O'Reilly possibly have to say? Like, there are two things in this world that you can trust the word of God and NDAs.
00:03:11
Speaker
Yeah. Dude, he, I mean, he's written about 15 books on Google. why you can prove Jesus Christ or something like that. Like the guys, but the everybody, people like old dudes recommend his books a lot.
00:03:24
Speaker
Like they're always telling me like, have you read killing Lincoln? Yeah. Oh, is that another bill? No, I haven't. Like, oh, you should really read it. Have you? It's like there's like 15 of those now. It's like he's used up all the good historical characters. So now he's into like, you know, killing Andrew Jackson or whatever.
00:03:43
Speaker
Oh my God. So, I mean, at the end of the day, he's never going to run out of historical figures to write revisionist history about.
00:03:53
Speaker
Cause that's what his books ultimately are. Like, uh, I mean, any, any, any, like any historic, uh, what's the word I'm looking for? Historical scholar, any historian, like I've, I've read critiques of his books. I've never gone on my way to read his books, but The reason I mostly looked them up is because I have family members who would leave them out on their coffee table. So everybody knew they were reading them.
00:04:15
Speaker
And good. Yeah. yeah And so then you just go, all right, let me give this a quick Google. And you just find like multiple articles of um historians being like, yeah, here's where he got tons and tons of things wrong.
00:04:31
Speaker
But he did write one. I think he did Killing Jesus. It might have been something like that. It might have been in that that series. Yeah, probably. And don't know anything about is, but he's definitely like not of the the new like MAGA, right?
00:04:46
Speaker
No, he's like old guard scumbag Newt Gingrich, Republican. Yeah. Which is more normal, but gross in its own way. Yeah. But the the fact that that's preferable these days, like to look at him and remember the good old days fucking sucks.
Comedy and Authenticity
00:05:03
Speaker
I remember one thing that was like super controversial about him in like, ah you know, right wing Christian circles is that like he openly admitted to subscribing to Playboy.
00:05:15
Speaker
ah he liked the articles. I remember him saying that on the show and just being like, God, I can't I can't believe it Yeah, yeah, that would that'd be genuinely upsetting. ah he Also, what's interesting is, um as we always talk about on this show and how we we've come to the conclusion that people's politics really do outweigh their faith.
00:05:39
Speaker
um I think that's why he gets like i evangelicals didn't give Catholics a pass for anything unless they were conservative Republican people. talking heads or whatever or politicians then they were like well he's catholic and that's like they would say it with like a tone of like it's okay versus like in church you're like well they're catholic you know totally different totally different tone you know i the more i think about it the more i get why they took that turn because the way that they go about like studying the bible and stuff it's so one-dimensional
00:06:18
Speaker
like There's just not much there. i mean it's it's like it's like your ba It's like basing... like ah You're going to be a film critic, but you're only going to watch the Transformers movies.
00:06:29
Speaker
yeah you know It's like you're so limited. What is there to dig into? you know It's like... As much as they wanted to say that it was like it wasn't a list of rules to follow and stuff like that's how they read it. I mean, there's more there.
00:06:41
Speaker
There's a lot of interesting things in the Bible, but they don't really explore them like it's just kind of there to establish the boundaries of their like. community and to reinforce decisions that they've already made about how to live.
00:06:55
Speaker
You know what i mean? Definitely. And some of the most interesting things about the Bible are the things that they can't engage with. It has like, it's because those, the interesting things are the less obvious, the gray areas, the areas where biblical authors disagree.
00:07:12
Speaker
So yeah, they have to make it boring. They have to make everything boring and that's what they do. They make everything boring. Yeah. Yeah, even even like, you know, you think back on youth group things where they would be like, all right, we're going to watch, ah you know, going to watch Nacho Libre and we're going to talk about the like, you know, Christian themes you can extract from this. thing It's it's always like, well, he fought a guy kind of like David and Goliath, you know, because he was outmatched. And yeah, so so there's that. It's like that's so uninteresting. There's nothing there to even talk about.
00:07:47
Speaker
Which that you you had made a point or a comment ah we when we were texting ah several weeks ago about we should we should start doing that. and that but That would be a fun thing to do is to just watch a shitty movie and then try to find as many Like Napoleon Dynamite, right? Like what can you what can you find in Napoleon Dynamite?
00:08:07
Speaker
Like, I mean, even popular youth group movie. Because like we all, everyone knew in youth group. There was just like, there were the movies that like Princess Bride. um Everyone was just like, everyone, every youth group kid loved that movie.
00:08:21
Speaker
And yeah, maybe it's fine. I don't really remember the movie. I remember not really caring about it. that much but i think maybe some of that was poisoned by youth group like mob mentality of like that had to be like that everyone loved it so much and then obviously napoleon dynamite was one of anything like any any pg comedy that had a ah marketed level of success became like it was just ruined by youth group fandom Yeah, that's so true.
00:08:48
Speaker
Do you think, okay, I might be in the minority of people who believe this, but do you think that ah the manna that God provided the Israelites was actually tater tots?
00:09:01
Speaker
if he's a good and just Lord, they were. Yeah. I mean, that's kind of the conclusion that I come to. And I feel like maybe the ancient Hebrews just didn't have the language to articulate that properly.
00:09:13
Speaker
Right. That or it was, it was like, um, it's, it was like that scene in hook where all that food is magically appearing and it's like, whatever they like or whatever. And they start throwing it around.
00:09:28
Speaker
I think it might be more like that. that was another like a little chubby israelite with just like so blue and pink slime all over his face like bang ring yeah he's that guy actually early on in the in the in the days of us starting this the guy who played rufio is a christian and we've yeah talked about the other movies i tried to get him on i've never gotten a response i should I should re-engage that ah that one and see if I can get in touch with him.
00:09:59
Speaker
Maybe he's embraced his career's decline at this point and he's not being as picky about where he talks. Yeah, I'm hoping he... um um like Like, if they chill out a little bit, they might be more... like when they're kind of what I feel like people who are like too much into it... I'm trying to give a good example of someone who's just like...
00:10:25
Speaker
Okay. um like The comedian I always talk about who went who went full Catholic and is just like not as funny anymore. Oh, yeah, yeah. shane Shane Smith. um his His deep dive in into Catholicism is really ah not for me.
00:10:41
Speaker
um And I feel like when they go hard into it, this isn't a space that there people are interested in coming on. um when they are have a better sense of humor about themselves and they're taking it all less seriously or like they're not worried by just critiques, criticisms, and actual conversation about it, then then that's when you'll see...
00:11:02
Speaker
That or you get like the other people we've had on who are like way too, they are too into it, but they're not entertaining people. They're not like recent converts. They're just like lifelong pastors that think they still need to tell everybody what to believe and how to live their life. So they look for as many outlets as possible to do it. But it's funny because there's like, there's several like comedians that I listened to their podcasts who have like kind of gotten into like Catholicism or something like that, you know, in the past few years and like seem to be able to be normal and also like have some semblance of like religious faith, you know?
00:11:41
Speaker
it's, it's encouraging. It's like, okay, so people can do this. They can just like, be a legitimately decent guy and also be funny and not turn into like the, you know, the, like I speak at, I speak at C spot rock tour.
00:11:58
Speaker
Now, you're John Christ.
00:12:03
Speaker
He's kind of like that middle the road guy. That's like, it's like edgy for youth group, bad boys, you know? Yeah. I don't, ah Yeah, and i I feel like I would – if you have any of comedians that are coming to mind, um please share. I don't know if you can think of them off the top of your head.
00:12:22
Speaker
oh like but James McCann. Okay. an Australian dude that's hilarious, but he's also a Catholic. and um He talks about it here and there, and like it's it's like an interesting – view of faith and Catholicism and how to apply it to your life and stuff like that. And he doesn't, you know, it's mostly private, I think, for him. But like when he does talk about it, it's it's in a way that's like, you know, I think anybody could appreciate the way that he's, you know, embracing it.
00:12:54
Speaker
It's not this like cheesy evangelical like, well, I'll give all the glory to God for my thing that I was doing anyways. Yeah. I don't like when comedians feel like they have to clean it up once they go in that direction. You know, like I get that there's ah ah maybe a line for people.
00:13:12
Speaker
um But I feel like with comedy, like even when I was my, this is what I don't like. this is what I don't like about what Christianity does, uh, culturally speaking, what it does to culture. Um, what, what it, what it, um, releases into culture is that like when I was my 17, I was all in, I was all in into my twenties, into my late twenties, into my early thirties. Um, and that what all in looked like maybe shifted a bit, but like,
00:13:44
Speaker
always, always loved any comedy I could get my hands on. Um, I was watching comedy central presents. I was taping specials. Uh, I was setting the timer on the VHS player to tape specials so I could watch them the next day. If they're on later, i couldn't, I couldn't watch them.
00:14:04
Speaker
Like my parents would be around and be like 11 o'clock and I'm like, I'm not watching a comedy special. um with them so I would tape them and watch them the next day like I always loved and appreciated comedy and there was never any point in which I was like oh that crossed a line there were times where like they would talk maybe shit on religion in a way where I would it would make me feel uncomfortable but I don't know I think ah I always kind of looked at it I don't think I thought a ton about it until maybe college where I was like
00:14:35
Speaker
thought about it dialectically where you're like, well, what, what is it about me that's getting upset about this joke? And why is it, why do I feel the need to maybe police it or explain it away for somebody or not recommend it because it might hurt somebody's sensibility? Like I, I always just allowed comedy to be what it was and appreciated it and,
00:14:55
Speaker
But like, I would never make those jokes, say those things, whatever, until I, you know, got older. And it was like, and there's like, we've talked about it with like Christians who watch Game of Thrones, but have to be like, but yeah, it's not for everyone. Like, you know, it's a it's got a lot of stuff in it. Yeah, it's, it's kind of a shame. I wouldn't tell.
00:15:16
Speaker
wouldn't tell the deacons that I watched it, but you it is pretty good. Right. So they're out there consuming all this material and it's okay to consume for them. But then like, if you ever said anything around those lines or talk like that, like now all of a sudden there's something wrong about it or like,
00:15:34
Speaker
I don't know. I don't. That's what I never really liked. And I think that's when I started shedding those like I can listen to swear words all the time. I just can't say them like but doesn't. All of this is meaningless. We're making this shit up.
00:15:47
Speaker
it's It's like you you want indulge in all of these things, but then you you also have to like clarify the that you do fall within the group boundaries.
00:16:02
Speaker
Yeah. you know That this is an aberration that like you don't normally do this. It's like you don't get... You don't get to watch the thing and also get social credit for feeling bad about it. Nobody buys it, dude. Yeah. like stop it And they all do that. And I did that. And it's just, it is what it is. I mean, I think people probably, I probably still do that in other ways, you know, but like, it is an annoying trait that people have. Yeah.
00:16:26
Speaker
Yeah. So in comics, and you like it and leave it alone. So in comics, like love comedy, but then like, and there's different reasons for doing different things. Like, you know, Jim Gaffigan has, has the what he does and he has his audience. And I recognize that like dirty,
00:16:42
Speaker
aggressive comedy isn't for everybody. And that's okay. sure Like if you're, if you're making like some people aren't even religious and they're like, I don't really want to listen to someone be that filthy.
00:16:53
Speaker
And that's totally fair. And I appreciate that there are, but those comics are doing it because they found something that works for them in a lane that they can be really funny in. I don't like when people intentionally make decisions about what they can and can't do in comedy because they're There's like, they can engage with it and consume it and listen to it, but they feel like there's something wrong with going in that direction themselves. is It just feels dishonest.
00:17:18
Speaker
ah Or it feels like if you're quelling, if you have those thoughts and you want to go in that direction and you're quelling it because of some newfound religious sensibility, that's annoying. Like you can find religion and faith and, and not, uh,
00:17:33
Speaker
have to have it like be like well i guess i can't tell that that joke about ah the sexual encounter that i had now because that's off the table like no you can still do that like people are smart enough to get what you're doing yeah people and the it's a misunderstanding of what people want from you like what reasonable rational yeah yeah human beings want from you they value like you being genuine over you being this squeaky clean like ridiculous you know, caricature of what you think like a Christian is. And I think those are the people that also get to some of these guys where they're like, Hey, look, you're Christian. Now um you really drinking is bad. You really shouldn't be making light of alcohol.
00:18:20
Speaker
So no more drinking stories in, in comp, you know, you're in your act or whatever. It's like, give me a break Like just, or you have to make ah ah you know, ah it's got to be a point in your sermon that you give afterwards.
00:18:34
Speaker
Yeah. Like you can tell the funny story about getting drunk, but then you have to make sure that you follow it up with like an earnest heartfelt like, you know, and I was just really, I realized I was ruining my life and I had to clean up. Give me a break, dude. Yeah. Every time people go in that direction, it's like, I can't, I can't listen to another story.
00:18:55
Speaker
I can't listen to an hour long story about how you partied hard and, went crazy only to spend five minutes at the end being like, and I wasn't happy. And I almost, uh, I got in this car accident because of it. And that woke me up. And it's like, look, you can wake up from being a complete degenerate asshole because you got in a car accident.
00:19:16
Speaker
That's great. But let's, let's chill a little bit on like, and as we've said before, like these people talk about it, like their uncle Rico talking about throwing the football over those mountains.
00:19:27
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. ah Speaking of alternative, ah you know, interpretations of scripture and and lifestyle choices, we're gonna we're gonna we're going to explore ah real character later that we've talked about before.
00:19:45
Speaker
And ah he has some unconventional theological stances and beliefs that are going to be really fun. Oh my God, I can't wait. I'm still hoping one of these days we can get him on. I still think I have his number. He's the kind of guy that changes phone numbers a lot, I think. So I don't really know. don't think he has a
House-Hunting Challenges
00:20:01
Speaker
sell plan. I think he buys burner phones. Yeah, I would i would imagine that's probably good um But before we get to that, my second life update.
00:20:10
Speaker
ah I keep looking for houses, right? Um, that hunt is going poorly. As I've mentioned, the market is just slow. It's getting a little bit, it's picking up a little bit.
00:20:21
Speaker
Um, I've looked at a couple and then you're like, you know, everything shows better on the pictures. Cause they all use like the wide angled lenses to make rooms look big. And you, you, you know, you know that, but you never really know like how it's going to feel when you get in there. So that's what they that's the whole point is the pictures get you in there.
00:20:40
Speaker
Um, so, you know, I went to a couple recently where I'm like, I think this might be the one. And then you go, it's not, not, no, it's missing a lot of features that we need. It's needs too many updates, but this one came up, we noticed it today. So it's in, it's in Worcester and where we weren't really looking in Worcester because the location's inconvenient for the way our lives are set up with in-laws and my parents and childcare and who's going to be supporting us.
00:21:07
Speaker
Um, But I'm kind of at a point where I'm like, you know what I might just eat shit for a couple years and have to do a lot more driving around to get the kids where they need to go. So that way I can be in this location that I really do want to be in.
00:21:20
Speaker
um If it doesn't work out, I'll be fine. But i'm starting we're starting to look in that direction too because we we just love that area um and want to be there. And it's so much more conveniently located to everything else that um we found two houses,
00:21:37
Speaker
uh last yesterday just through zillow like anyone does now realtors don't their jobs shifted a lot since zillow you you like just there to clean up paperwork yeah it used to be like the realtor would be like all right on saturday we're gonna go out we're gonna look at these seven houses because i think you might like them because this is what you've told me you want and these do fit that criteria and then you would like go on this like rampage and run in and out of a bunch of houses. And you'd be like, thanks for doing all that work for me. And now I just text my realtor houses on Zillow. I go, this one looks nice. Can we go see it? And then they set up the showings. I mean, that's like what they need. I mean, someone has to set them up.
00:22:17
Speaker
I can't do it myself so easily, but, um, And our realtor is great. It's just funny. how i i just I think it's funny how much that job has shifted over the years. um But we go into this house. I'm like, this one looks perfect. like There was only one box that didn't check for us.
00:22:32
Speaker
um And we don't have like a ton of boxes. We have like a couple of things we definitely want. two or three things were like, this is a huge bonus. Like I would love that, but I can, I can go without.
00:22:44
Speaker
Um, and we found this house we're like, it, it's in a great area, like locationally. Um, and it checks all but one of our, our boxes, even our bonus boxes, it checks.
00:22:58
Speaker
So we, we go in and right when we're outside, my realtor is like, okay, I know, I reached out to the guy. I know who this guy is.
00:23:10
Speaker
um He's a character. Basically what he does is he's, he's his own realtor. He, he, but he's a contractor. He flips houses, but he also is in realty. So he, all he does is sell the houses that he flips and he saves on the ah realtor end because he also functions in that role too.
00:23:28
Speaker
So he's like, i don't know. We'll see. Like ah yeah after talking to him, like, Yeah, he just it's i I got the feeling he knew enough about this guy to know before we walked in that this might not be exactly what we want to be.
00:23:43
Speaker
um So we walk in and immediately it looks great, like the beautiful hardwoods. But then you start noticing little things where like. You know, they're long hardwoods, but like ah planks. But then so throughout it in these little patchy areas where he like didn't get the measurements right, I guess. Like that's all these like little like six to 12 inch little boards patched in and thrown And it's just like unconventional.
00:24:08
Speaker
It didn't really look bad, but it's just one of those things that makes you go, i don't. This wasn't intentional. This was him. This was just it just felt like, oh, I got to I got to make this work.
00:24:20
Speaker
ah And it. And then you're looking at the trim and you're like, bro didn't paint the trim before he tapped it onto the wall. So there's like, you got these beautiful hardwoods, but there's a lot of like trim paint kind of just brushing up against the floor.
00:24:32
Speaker
And so you're just kind of noticing little things. And the house was built in like 1902. So now we're looking at like an old house renovated, like, He cuts some corners here. What's he covering up?
00:24:45
Speaker
I'm just getting a little bit worried. so But we look around the house and mostly everything looks good. There's a couple doors that don't open all the way because they button to the hardwood floors. And ah then we're like, all right, well, let's just, we're kind of on the fence. We go, let's check out the basement.
00:24:59
Speaker
And immediately looking down there, but I'm like, everything looks shiny. like Like, i my first thought was they must have sprayed like a sealer all over everything. Walking down, I'm like,
00:25:11
Speaker
Stairs seem damp. I get down, the basement is fucking soaked. There's cracks all in the the the flooring. So all this moisture is coming up from the ground.
00:25:23
Speaker
And there's little puddles throughout the entire basement. It's an old fieldstone basement. Some moisture is expected, but this is like someone, I was like, did he, I was like, did is this just here?
00:25:35
Speaker
Or did he, was like, did he like spray this place down? and like to mop it out and shop vac it or whatever and my really was like nope this is all cut off the ground and this is why it's still on the market like no one's gonna and he's dropped the price like four times um and that's so then we go all bad call And when we walked in, it smelled like fumes. It was just paint fumes. It kind of had a paint thinner smell.
00:26:04
Speaker
Well, we walked back up the stairs and start walking through the house. And we realized that um the stairs, they were blue. ah They were wet ah because the paint wasn't dry on them. He had just painted the stairs, apparently.
00:26:20
Speaker
So we went down to the basement, looked at it, walked back up, walked to the living room and realized we just tracked paint all through the fucking house. Why would he do that? I don't know. And I was like, ah this is, I mean, this just seals it. Like what, this guy is clearly.
00:26:36
Speaker
What an idiot. An idiot. Yeah. Like are you, you're not going to give anyone a heads up that you had just painted the stairs. And we, I was like, all right, my realtor is like, I'm going to try to clean it up, but otherwise going tell this guy to go fuck himself because this is, no he's like, this is the most embarrassing showing I've ever had.
00:26:54
Speaker
Like, yeah. Crazy. That's that's rough. Maybe he painted it a couple days ago and it just won't dry down there. That's what I thought. I go, I bet he didn't. and that's I said the same thing to my wife on the way home. i was like, i'm I'm wondering if just the dampness of the basement, because he had a de he had like two dehumidifiers running down there and it was still soaked.
00:27:15
Speaker
Jeez, that's not that's not good. so so Somebody will buy it, like especially if it gets cheap enough, like somebody will buy it and then they will like struggle to get through the closing and all that stuff.
00:27:28
Speaker
yeah because they got to get it inspected and the insurance company is not going to want to do it and all that. Like somebody will pull the strings thinking like, oh, we'll deal with it. It's no big deal. We'll do it. And then they'll black mold and their children will die. Yeah.
00:27:41
Speaker
Dude, and the guy I told my realtor, he's like, I've already dropped the price four times. I'm not going to go any lower. if If no one buys it this week, I'm just going to i'm just going to take it off the market and rent it out.
00:27:52
Speaker
I'm going to die a black bull myself. Yeah. Which, yeah, you could rent that place out easy. ah People would deal with that as a renter. ah No one wants to buy that. Oh, man.
00:28:05
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I know I've told the story on here before, but yeah, I went to coming back from college, like during the financial crisis, the summer before I got married, i went and looked at some houses, you know, I was going into my senior year.
00:28:19
Speaker
And I remember there was just foreclosed houses. there I mean, it's Michigan. So there was a huge exodus from the state. There was houses all over the place that people like were underwater on and just stopped making payments or couldn't make payments. So the bank repossessed them and they would turn off the utilities like the bank wouldn't refuse to pay the utilities on them.
00:28:40
Speaker
And everything in Michigan is below the water table. So like i I remember just walking into this one that was really cheap. I mean, it was like 30 grand or something like that. Like, you know, it's like a 1300 square foot starter home in a neighborhood. But I'm like, man, so it's so cheap. Like we go walking in there and it immediately like as soon as the door open, it stinks.
00:29:05
Speaker
There's mold spots like the size of manhole covers, like all up and down the walls in the kitchen. And I opened the door to the basement and halfway down the stairs is just water.
00:29:18
Speaker
That's it's incredible. but Like what are you doing as a realtor showing that house to somebody? Why are you why would you tie your name to that at all? I think it was just crazy.
00:29:30
Speaker
Like, I can't imagine there was anything but desperation, like motivating that at that point. Yeah, probably a lot of people that are like, oh, I mean, it's really cheap. i Maybe, you know, we could fix this or whatever. But God, you'd have.
00:29:42
Speaker
You'd have $150,000 in there just trying to kill the mold and seal everything up and make it you know safe to live with. You'd have to gut everything into place. You're basically buying land with a really expensive removal on it.
00:29:56
Speaker
That's all you Yeah, pretty much. It's crazy.
00:30:01
Speaker
Dang. I... i um Before we jump into our friend, ah but you know what? I'll save that one for another time. I know how long I can go when I start ranting about people I hate. so Oh, just in case ah we forget towards the end of the episode.
00:30:16
Speaker
Next week, we will not have an episode because I'm going to Costa Rica on Wednesday. Yeah. And we're going to have a party this week. We usually try to get a little ah get a little extra one in the hopper, but it just ah time hasn't been so generous to us ah the past couple weeks, so we'll be taking the week off.
00:30:37
Speaker
Yep. So
Upcoming Travel Plans
00:30:39
Speaker
I will be ah spending the entire week in the jungle, contracting some sort of disease, and hopefully finding lots of frogs and snakes.
00:30:48
Speaker
I was just going say, you're going looking for... you're You're going to do in Costa Rica what you just do every night at your own house. Which is just go out and look for different creatures, little salamanders to put up your butthole, things like that.
00:31:03
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. You like the way it feels when their shoulders make it through. Yeah. I look for one. I look for salamanders with big elbows. Yeah. Yeah.
00:31:19
Speaker
um Oh, okay. I was going to ask you, because there's billboards all over Wichita. Yes. And I just want your... you're candid reaction to this like what you think of this but all over wichita there's uh there's billboards for like the uh like tough mutter style race yeah what does sam think of those tough mutter i mean i think i know a whole lot about your personality if you've signed up for one before i've ever had a chance to talk to you like i'll I'll make some, like, I know what, I know you're not
Fitness Culture Musings
00:31:59
Speaker
signing up for them.
00:32:00
Speaker
No. So, um, I'm not saying you, I think you can generalize. I'm not saying cool people can't do them. Um, I also made the assumption that everybody knew i was assuming cool people don't do them, but I, yeah, uh, I just, a lot of divorced dads, uh, doing tough mutters.
00:32:21
Speaker
Um, I, they usually I would also imagine they're in some sort of um CrossFit club cult. ah yeah I have a lot of assumptions that I will make about someone. Everyone I've ever met who does them, who wears the shirts or has a bumper sticker for it has been someone I don't enjoy the company of.
00:32:42
Speaker
I'll bet you the one true athlete in our audience, old Mark in Florida has done a Tough Mudder before. Yeah. He probably won too. Yeah. Again, i it's it's the way people go about – it's one of those things where when you make it your personality, that's what – I know enough. It's like I've been disc golfing long enough to know that like people who make that their personality, you can – 80% of them are going to fit into like – a certain mold.
00:33:13
Speaker
Um, it's just certain, again, I already mentioned CrossFit, but people who, who advertise and talk about CrossFit, like they're in some sort, like they're getting paid to promote it. Like you, you just kind of get an idea. People who wear tap out shirts.
00:33:29
Speaker
I don't even need to have a cover. I would say that's generalized, like generalized, generally. like i assume if you're wearing a tap out shirt, we can't be friends. Yeah. I told April, because this one, it's actually, it's so it's not Tough Mudder, it's the Spartan Race.
00:33:44
Speaker
Oh, yeah. That's what this one's called. same and i Same category. I asked April, I'm like, do you think they call it the Spartan Race because of how many people have contracted Legionnaire's disease from the mud pit?
00:33:58
Speaker
and dude There was a time in my life when I was like, I wanted to get in better shape. It still hasn't happened. Still working at it. But I'm like, I should just sign up for something that would really challenge me. So that way, like I have to get right. It's like when people sign up for a marathon and they, now they have to do it.
00:34:16
Speaker
That's another kind of thing that people who do like multiple marathons is a when you watch that take over people's lives, I go, I don't, Is this worth all the time you don't spend with your family? That doesn't... But...
00:34:33
Speaker
I know I'm a fat slob, so I obviously like throwing a lot of am muck here, but, uh, I like the idea of doing something like that too.
00:34:45
Speaker
Like I wouldn't be the kind of person you'd expect to do one, but I would like the, I like the idea of it because yeah, it's a, I mean, it's a true athletic all around like athletic competition that and requires the whole body and a lot of effort. And I,
00:35:02
Speaker
So yeah, I mean, the the work it takes to be able to do it, that's cool. i would i would I like the idea of it because it's like, if I could do it, that means I got into pretty good shape and that would be good for me.
00:35:13
Speaker
um But there would probably be like a few other people like me who just didn't feel like they fit in with the other people who have done 15 of them. How bad do you think life has to get in America before we stop like engaging in like recreational hardship?
00:35:32
Speaker
Yeah, that's right. Because when you look at countries that are have really gone through it, they're not like running 26.2 miles so that way they can post about Instagram there.
00:35:43
Speaker
I mean, they might be running 26.2 miles like, you know, away from IDF soldiers or something like that. But yeah, there's there's nobody in Libya with like a 26.2 sticker or whatever it is on their on their Toyota.
00:35:58
Speaker
Yeah.
00:36:02
Speaker
Do we want to talk about our boy? Yes. Okay, so we have talked about Bob Hickman several times on the show, but we've never really gone too, too deep into him other than just to kind of give the the base level explanation of who he is.
00:36:22
Speaker
um I guess you could call him a an internet preacher. i think some people, including myself, would say he's more of a prophet. yeah Some people might say he's potentially a predator.
00:36:37
Speaker
um Oh, very possibly so. Yeah. he I didn't think so until the the most recent YouTube video you sent me. we So his whole thing, we we posted this on our social media a long time ago. I'll reshare it. Actually, you shared a tattoo of someone got a tattoo of ah his vehicle, which is like it's like this black van with white spray paint. It's like And it has insane writing all over It's like, God entered my body like a body my same size.
00:37:06
Speaker
You going into me and me going into you. ah I forget what's after that. but A true van of God. it's yeah It's true. It has like manic vibes to it.
00:37:19
Speaker
um But yeah, we've been following this guy for a few years now. um How did we find him? I don't know if he was like, if they talked about him on like, was it your mom's house or something like that? no it wasn't. It was, i saw the van on Reddit.
00:37:39
Speaker
And then from, because if he was, if he was, if they talked about him on your mom's house, he would have a lot more followers than he does. Like Robert Paul Champagne. um They blew that guy up. Oh, and shout out to Jill. i see Jill, I see your liked posts on ah on old Bob's.
00:37:56
Speaker
Yeah. like Jill knows what's up. Oh, she was messaging the... The podcast page about him. Her and I were talking back and forth because she's like, she's she's she's in on it.
00:38:09
Speaker
she she's She appreciates it for where it is and and also believes that we should try to get him on. My problem with trying to get him on, I may have mentioned it last time we briefly touched on this guy, is that He's clearly not well.
00:38:26
Speaker
And ah yeah it's like walking that line of like, I'm like, we're genuinely fascinated by this man. And we also do think it is a degree of funny until something horrible happens. Then we'll, you know, might not be as funny anymore, but I think he's well enough.
00:38:41
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, he's a he's a viable adult living on his own. He owns houses. I mean, he works at Ferrags and stuff. Yeah. Like he lives like a fairly normal life. If you look at it from, you know, 20,000 feet, it's really just when you I mean, if you if you just like knew him from work, you'd probably just be like, yeah, Bob's a little weird.
00:39:04
Speaker
Uh, I don't know what's up with that bowl cut, but yeah, it seems nice enough. But, uh, his internet presence is, it's so strange and interesting. And it all stems from the fact that Bob believes that he is the one true servant of God on the planet, that he is the only one that is filled with the Holy Ghost. He calls it the Holy Ghost baptism. And he references some chapter in acts, um, but,
00:39:34
Speaker
But that's kind of at the at the at the core of like his whole belief system. And that's where you know his saying comes from. God entered my body like a body my same size, like me floating into you and you floating into me.
00:39:47
Speaker
he he really thinks that like he he said he pursued God for like seven years. And then while praying, like God, he was just imbued with the Holy Spirit. And there's only one person at a time on the planet can be, you know, a part of this Holy Ghost baptism.
00:40:04
Speaker
And when he dies, it will pass on to another person. Like the Dalai Lama. Yeah, it's a mantle. So, okay, so there's plenty of people that are kind of in that same ilk. I'm sure we can find all sorts of people on Instagram that have, like, a God complex and stuff.
00:40:21
Speaker
The thing that makes Bob interesting is his relationship with God is bizarre. it It really, like, oscillates back and forth between, like, this, um you know,
00:40:36
Speaker
ah predatory, like God is his oppressor. He's, he's yeah chastising him and torturing him. um God is evil and he mocks him and stuff like that.
00:40:48
Speaker
ah And then it floats in the other direction too, where he talks about, you know, like serve God and there's like all these rewards and this and that from it. And it's, it's strange. It's really hard to put your finger on. And I think it kind of just depends on the day.
00:41:04
Speaker
but Yeah, yeah. that And again, another reason why it's like... but that That constant back and forth you go... they There's some... I don't know. are you Is he bipolar? Is like unmedicated bipolar? Like, it's very... I mean, it's not much weird than... It's it's it's less weird than a lot of the shit Kanye goes back and forth on now. So, like... like And people have Kanye on to talk about stuff. So, whatever. I mean, look, it's not...
00:41:31
Speaker
I think what makes you feel a little uncomfortable is that his, you know, his, his living situation it seems to be like, you could probably argue is indicative of like his financial one, too, but where you're like this guy, the, his living situation looks so horrendous um that you just, you, you know, there's something not, not right there.
00:41:57
Speaker
Like when you would watch like episode of hoarders or something and it's like, You live people live like that. Like, and how do you live? ah Like the yeah dank basement. Like there's a very, there's up I mean, that the the setting to all the videos is something that would be like the location for a torture scene in a horror film.
00:42:15
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. This is like a Serbian film, you know, yeah evangelical edition. Yeah. So what's weird is that I think he actually, I think he's actually got money.
00:42:29
Speaker
Like, I feel like this is by choice that he lives this way. And I found a I found an interview that he did with a ah YouTube channel like five years ago or something where the guy asked him some questions about, you know, his living situation and stuff like that. And he says, basically like,
00:42:47
Speaker
Yeah, I I save everything that I make like I i tithe and ah and then i I save pretty much everything that I make. And that's, you know, basically what he spends it on is trying to grow his like YouTube channel and his Instagram and stuff like that. He actually does a lot of like paid advertising for those things.
00:43:10
Speaker
That's crazy. It's really hard to grow a YouTube channel when you accidentally show your dick in every video.
00:43:18
Speaker
as He does too. Oh my God, dude. I've seen his, I've seen his dog so many times. I've seen the back of his ball sack. Yeah, dude. Last time, the last video you sent me, you, it was just like the, the tripod. It was just, you saw the, the two ball, you could, you saw the two balls with the dick tip hanging down and it,
00:43:39
Speaker
ah My God, like, and it's, it's kind of like an accidentally on purpose thing, right? Like there's a little mischievousness to him. Yeah, he's a horny man. You can tell he's a very horny man.
00:43:52
Speaker
So yes, that's part of what why we're talking about him because his story arc has has really entered a new era. Yeah. And I feel like the horniness is, is ramped up now, but like when we first found him, he would kind wear like, you know, long, like button up shirts with nothing on underneath it. And he, he would stand at an angle, like a night, like a 45 degree angle to the camera.
00:44:15
Speaker
And he would lift his arms up. So the shirt, like the little flap of the back of the shirt would come up just above his butt cheeks. And then he would like, lift up one leg and like stand on one leg, like almost like getting close to revealing, uh, his little penis and, um, or big penis. I don't know. I think it's, it it seems like an average size penis. Um, but but and then there was other ones where he'll like, it'll just be low enough where you'll see, a ah usually there's like, yeah, just see a little bit of the dick root, but, um,
00:44:48
Speaker
He did one recently on Instagram. This wasn't even YouTube. i sent it to Casey immediately because it was like you saw a good inch of the top shaft of his penis. And it was ah tan.
00:45:00
Speaker
He has tanniest dick I've ever seen. It's like he goes into a tanning room in a wetsuit that just has the dick hole carved out.
00:45:15
Speaker
It's like one of those Gimp masks, but it's still kind of briefs. I'm sure that exists. So, okay. So let me, before we jump into his horny arc, let me just give you yeah a couple of examples of his videos are very repetitive. I've watched a lot of them over the past couple of years, but I watched a lot of them over the past couple of days.
00:45:36
Speaker
And he's kind of got his little sermon worked out and it, it is almost word for word the same every single time. So here's, here's a piece of it.
00:45:48
Speaker
yeah Anyway, I can't say what God does to me because it will be taken down, but I can say what God did to his servants in the Bible. And that means he's doing that to me. Job, God called Job perfect.
00:46:01
Speaker
And perfect Job said to God, when he appeared, thou terrifyest me in dreams. That means God was appearing in his dreams and attacking him like Freddy Krueger. thou fillest my face full of wrinkles that means god was ripping and tearing his face obviously by tightening his muscles harder than a rock and moving his muscles this way and that way from the inside when i lay in bed at nights my face is jerking jumping moving and i'm seeing the lord laughing at me while it's going on So there again, like that's that's one example of like a thing that he cites all the time is that God tightens the muscles in his face up to where he can't hardly speak and then like like pulls them in different directions, almost like muscle spasms.
00:46:46
Speaker
And so he he he references that a lot when he starts talking about God in like a negative sense and some of the things that he puts him through.
00:46:57
Speaker
That could be... um
00:47:01
Speaker
Balls palsy. Yeah. I was going to say it could be bad math. ah I don't know. Like, I feel like there's a lot. i feel like, I mean, if he saves everything, it's I'd be surprised if he's not like setting aside, setting a little bit of side for drugs.
00:47:20
Speaker
I don't think I, I could be wrong. I don't think he's a user. I think he's clean as a whistle. He's just out of his mind. What about his current love interest?
00:47:32
Speaker
Oh, well, then no doubt. so No doubt. That's a tweaker.
00:47:37
Speaker
who gets it We'll get to lovely Amber in a few minutes. So here's the second piece of his chastisement sermon.
00:47:48
Speaker
Mouth disease is a plague from God. He gave it to all his people, his people, not the ones that mocked them and didn't serve him, his people. And he took all their teeth and all The only reason I even have anything left in my mouth is because of salt.
00:48:05
Speaker
I soak my gums in salt. um Way more than that. I counted 20 things at one time. Oh, yeah.
00:48:16
Speaker
He was sidetracked a lot. He's like, I counted 20 things at one time. Or was he actually count was that relevant or is that was like, corrected he says that he counted 20 different ways that God's like persecuting him. He calls it 10.
00:48:32
Speaker
And he thinks, you know, he talks about like the portions of the Bible where it says that God what I don't remember the verbiage, but if God won't tempt you to to evil.
00:48:43
Speaker
And he claims that that's not true and that there's evidence in the Bible that God tempted his servants and stuff. And he tempts him all the time, which I take to mean he thinks that like his face muscle spasms and his mouth disease are art temptations from God. Yeah.
00:49:03
Speaker
Does he talk about the devil at all? Or does he kind of think they're like one? it like the God and devil are one? Yeah. he So he's put he's made several statements and messages about the devil. Because people will ask him about it. Like, how do you know that not a demon? He says that God does Satan's voice.
00:49:21
Speaker
And that he made up hell to scare. He's like a ventriloquist who just th throws his voice. Yeah. Hey, it's me, Satan, over here.
00:49:31
Speaker
that That Satan is a creation of God just like a you know that he uses to do like like for maleevvolent malevolent purposes. Okay. I mean, fair point.
00:49:43
Speaker
I feel like one of the weakest points that evangelicals have is like the whole God created Satan and he's just letting him do his business around here until he decides the time is right. Right. goofy concept. Yeah.
00:49:58
Speaker
That has to all kind of stem from joke, right? I mean, that's but most of that that doctrine must come from there. yeah Yeah, probably. That's where a lot of it comes from.
00:50:11
Speaker
And then it's just ah a lot of it. My understanding of it has to do with like translations over the years. Like Satan is just a transliteration of a word that means accuser.
00:50:22
Speaker
um And it just, and was it, was it Enoch that kind of gave us some of that tradition as well? Is that what Dan McClellan was telling us? um I want to say Enoch gave us maybe some of that, um but.
00:50:36
Speaker
Yeah, it's I mean, it's no clear there's no like clear A to B direction in the Bible to get you to this idea that there's but Satan exists. There's an ultimate enemy, a final boss.
00:50:48
Speaker
Yeah, because I think more of that cast down from the heavens lore might have been in the Book of Enoch. You get it in John, I think, about some angel rebellion. I don't know.
00:51:02
Speaker
it's very like It's very Greek mythology vibes, though. Yeah. So yeah, he doesn't believe there is a Satan. He thinks that that that's God. use It's a manipulation tool created by God.
00:51:17
Speaker
Gotcha. And yeah, so there's just ah there's just endless videos of him like showing these like injuries to himself, a lot of which look they look kind of fake, you know, like paint. oh His knees are always wrapped up.
00:51:32
Speaker
He always has his knees like wrapped up in gauze in his videos. Yeah, I don't know why that is, but maybe so. And he he talks a lot about how much he likes to exercise and stuff and and how he's an athlete and whatnot.
00:51:47
Speaker
But like you really only ever see him doing like his weird little basement dances with no pants on. it still A little flamingo, flamingo stance. Yeah.
00:51:59
Speaker
So. That's pretty much what Bob has talked about up to this point. He would talk about, he would kind of go over those same little bits of information. he would talk about like his afflictions and stuff brought on by God that, you know, God was mocking him and telling him, you know, what to do in this and that. And like some days God seemed like a positive force, but, uh, you know, other times it was, it was a negative.
00:52:26
Speaker
Now, so i I feel like he had stopped popping up in my feed for a minute. and That's because it's um one of his profiles... I think is he has like four, three...
00:52:38
Speaker
i think there are a lot of people I think there are people who may, I actually thought the main one was, was made up um because I think it slowed down, but one of them was got deleted. um I believe probably from showing too much dick tip and it, when it, when he was back into it, there was a change in the type of content he was posting And it would be like, it was more, um I thought it was like a fake account because he strikes me as a guy that doesn't use Instagram very good.
00:53:11
Speaker
ah But this would have like... the backgrounds with like emojis coming up and like tons of emojis. Yeah. It was like all this weird shit going on, like that he would like, so he was using like a Snapchat filter to do goofy shit.
00:53:25
Speaker
And I was like, this doesn't, this feels different. And I, I, when we were texting about it, I was like, dude, this, I think that's a fake account. And after like a couple of days, it was like, you were like, i don't know. i think this is actually him.
00:53:38
Speaker
And obviously it is. um He just shifted lanes a little bit. Yeah, and if you want to go check it out, it's God has entered my body with a period between each word.
00:53:51
Speaker
And it you would you had said, like, I think Bob's got a girlfriend now. Yep. It was like, what? What you talking about? So I went and looked and sure enough, um love has really changed this man's heart.
00:54:07
Speaker
And i think it's changed his relationship with God as well. And he is actively seeking partnership as ah as shown here. Greetings.
00:54:19
Speaker
God entered into my body like a body my same size. I'm taking applications to be my honey punch. Yes. Be my honey bunchkins.
00:54:32
Speaker
Be my honey bunchkins. Oh my God. It went on like that for a while longer. I'm genuinely shocked uh,
00:54:44
Speaker
ah YMH has your mom's house podcast. Uh, hasn't had him featured yet unless they have, I don't, I don't listen, uh, to like any podcasts anymore, but usually the people that they, like I said, the people like with, with, uh, Robert Paul champagne,
00:55:02
Speaker
ah was a guy who was kind of strange in this same sort of way. ah And I mean, they blew him up. Like he had tens of thousands of followers. I think he even got to like maybe six figures and followers at one point. Like it got wild because they have such a huge, obviously a huge fan base that it's like, uh, but I don't think he's been, ah but he, he, this guy, he just has all the traits and markings of somebody that they would all that they would have done a deep dive into the cool guy club.
00:55:32
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. Very definitely is that. And, um, so his girlfriend that he's been hanging out with, her name is Amber.
00:55:42
Speaker
And Amber is without a doubt a tweaker. I mean, she is all over the... It's not just like the way she looks, which is startling.
00:55:53
Speaker
But on top of that, her behavior in these videos is so bizarre. I mean, she is just like bouncing from one activity to another. She's just spouting off random things. i Like, I don't know if this lady knows who she is or where she's at, but she's...
00:56:10
Speaker
She's out there and it's usually him videoing her doing something mundane, like trying to light a cigarette or something like that. And he's just giggling the whole time. um He really likes her.
00:56:22
Speaker
And theres there's one of her just bending over um like she's picking something up. And the caption is a message is being spoken here.
00:56:34
Speaker
There was, yeah, there was like a video of her walking away or something. And he was like, do you guys like it from the back too? oh
00:56:45
Speaker
it's weird. I think the the strange, the strange thing about their matchup is ah it looks like he filled in the hair at the front of his forehead with the hair from her mustache and chin.
00:57:02
Speaker
There is sort of like a, like they're hair downers. Yeah. There's a wisp penis going on. That's noticeable. Cause he has his hair. Like, it looks like he took a fine comb, like,
00:57:15
Speaker
like just the typical like comb that you, everybody got on picture day or something like that in elementary school and has like the, the side with the the thicker bristles and with more space between it and then like the fine ones. And it's like, he combs all of his hair forward, like in like straight down.
00:57:35
Speaker
Um, and then just cut straight across his head. so But he has that receding hairline, so like the hair like on the top, it's not layered or anything like that. It's just like you can kind of just see all of his scalp beneath it.
00:57:50
Speaker
It's a very note. it's it's a You used the word striking earlier, Casey, and I think we'll revisit that term a lot. I think straight across is pretty generous too, because it looks like he did this while he was driving. It's for FedEx, dude, that's crazy. this This guy wears his FedEx shirts in his videos. like Yeah.
00:58:14
Speaker
Right now, we're... He's penis and butt cheeks poking out from underneath that like purple and blue uniform or whatever FedEx has. It's crazy. like i i through I remember the one time back when we were doing video ah more consistently, I wore one of my school work shirts. And I was like, oh shit, we can't post a video for that one because I just wasn't thinking about it.
00:58:37
Speaker
And it's like like everybody knows that... ah You cannot represent the company or place that you work for with the the the side projects that you have going on if that's if the company does not think it'll look... um If it doesn't represent the company in the way they want to be represented.
00:59:02
Speaker
And this dude is out here showing the, the, like not even the whole tip. Like it's not just, it's just like, you'll see like an eighth of an inch and ah you have to like, you, you literally will zoom in on Instagram. You're like, I think that's, that's his penis. I see a little bit of penis right there. Like I've, I've zoomed in on his photos more than any other Instagram accounts photos.
00:59:28
Speaker
Yeah, he does seem to want he's he's pretty serious about Amber. He's made several mentions of marrying her. Like ah this one of the two of them together says the Lord appears in visions and calls her my wife.
00:59:42
Speaker
ah Then somebody made biblical. His typing is insane, too. ah He's so somebody made some like AI artwork of him. It was like him as the Pope and then there are a saint or something. And then a couple of him with Amber, the like, you know, caricature things.
01:00:00
Speaker
And this, this is the caption. This is exactly as it's written. Yo, period. Check out this animations by Bill Cook, period. When I show Amber, period.
01:00:11
Speaker
She will probably, period. Fart, period. Growing up, period. Boozer Cook was my best friend, period. Raymond Cook owned, period. Cook's auto parts, period.
01:00:23
Speaker
Had a crush on Glenda, period. Want some animations, period. Hire, period. Bill Cook.
01:00:33
Speaker
it Lately, a lot of his posts, and maybe you're getting to this, so just stop me, is um it's like he took pictures of like magazine, like bathing suit models from magazines and shit. Yes.
01:00:46
Speaker
A lot of like from behind stock photos of women in lingerie or like athletes on a beach or something like that. Like very strange photos. It's all butts.
01:00:58
Speaker
Yeah. Dude loves butts. I mean, Yeah, I can't blame him, I guess, but he talks about women kind of like, ah you know, like door prizes a little bit.
01:01:10
Speaker
Like, for instance, here's one of a lady in lingerie from behind. It says, if you make Jesus your God, he can show you just what street this is walking on and how to pick her up.
01:01:21
Speaker
What would you do if this was riding in your car? It's like this, this person, this is meaning a real human being woman. He, yeah, it's, he, he gives like, um, uh, like, uh, here, another one is just like, it's a woman with her arms out. She's at the beach, like part of her bathing suits, like,
01:01:45
Speaker
tucked in like to her butt crack a little bit. and it's like, God said, my ways are not your ways. And my thoughts are not your thoughts. Well, I'm finding out they are, but worse.
01:01:56
Speaker
what does that mean? It's so ominous. And then another then one right above it is four women in a pool, all in thong bikinis again there. It's from behind. They're all leaning over the edge of the pool. So it's just like, uh, it's just their butts essentially.
01:02:14
Speaker
And the caption is, we came to Jesus. Have you? So he's like, he's really starting to equate like his, um, it,
01:02:26
Speaker
You know what? he He has a, he's got King Solomon vibes going on, right? It's just like the Lord is blessing. Like, it's like there's a, there like, yeah, like you said, it's like a, there's like a, like women are God's blessing to you. Like he kind of talks about them in a very objective like way.
01:02:47
Speaker
um where you like you you you have wives six hundred six hundred concubines vibes going on He's talked about Solomon quite a few times. Oh, has he? All of his wives. Yeah, that's a pretty frequent reference. That makes sense.
01:03:03
Speaker
I'm just glad people are actually using the Bible to like, you know, we because i'm I'm glad he's taking the Bible literally. That's um that's all. Because there wasn't none of that was like condemned. Right. It was just like a thing that happened.
01:03:17
Speaker
um The only thing that was condemned was like the his little, you know. ah wait. I'm getting stories. Anyway, um sorry. I was getting some stories ah mixed up in my head.
01:03:29
Speaker
ah But yeah, it's like he he he he's really like going hard into like into like the fringe stuff in the Bible. The stuff that like evangelicalism glossed over and explained away. It's like, well, yeah, Solomon did do these, but it also said he was a man after God's own heart. And I, I, I remember as a kid trying to reconcile that all the time. Like it never made sense. The only reason it made sense because I would just be like, okay.
01:03:56
Speaker
And then be like, well, yeah, he did these things, but the Bible says, can just repeat it. Right. You would repeat the same thing. And like you, you were basically being gaslit into believing that Solomon wasn't like a shitty fucking King.
01:04:09
Speaker
Yeah. And yeah, Yeah. In a person. And it wasn't the fact that he had a harem. It was the fact that some of those women in his harem worshipped idols. Right. Exactly.
01:04:20
Speaker
Exactly. So wild. I think Amber probably worships idols. I think. Probably keep it. Keep an eye out for that. Yeah. and He. ah So.
01:04:32
Speaker
yeah Dude, there's so many odd posts. Like, here's one of ah of a lady in a thong bikini, and it says, No greater love than this, that God give you something like this to keep you up at nights, wishing you made God your Lord.
01:04:45
Speaker
Or um this is a very, it has like a 1950s vibe with a lot of like those like ah ah stickers, like Instagram stickers where it's like sound on Saturday, a heart.
01:04:59
Speaker
And at the top it says God entered into my body. And it's just like 1950s looking black and white, like woman ah like video of a woman who like steps out onto the beach and pops her leg up and does a little like, like,
01:05:15
Speaker
little drift to the side kind of thing. And the caption is come to Jesus and he may give you 100 of these very, very property ask 100 of these, not just like my, even like, even giving them a small amount of humanity would be like, God may bless you with 100 women, just as beautiful as this. Like not just like no concept or reference to them being even a person. It's just like, you could have a hundred of these, like they're like fucking Tesla trucks.
01:05:44
Speaker
Yeah, and I'll tell you this, his his newfound horniness and like his ah you know bedroom conquests, I guess, have have really served to change the the the the power dynamics between him and God.
01:06:03
Speaker
yes. Because ah yeah he believes that the reason that God has entered his body and stuff, you know it used to be just to mock him and torture him and things like that,
01:06:15
Speaker
chastise him with constant visions. Now he believes that God entered his body because he, because God wants to have sex with women. No way. He thinks that he's like a vessel for God to, to live out like earthly pleasures.
01:06:32
Speaker
the The craziest part about that is that if God really did have that as an MO, he could have picked any other body and pulled so much more. that podcast, he he says, ah the guy asks him, he's like, so why did God choose you? Like, why you? And he's like, well, because I'm wealthy.
01:06:55
Speaker
He's like, you you're what? And he's like, yeah, I'm wealthy. I i did ah very good investments and i I saved everything that I've made, you know, pretty much. And I bought ah some rental houses and stuff. And, stefan you know, I tell you, ah the church that I was going to at the time,
01:07:13
Speaker
My my tithe was two hundred dollars a week. Can you imagine that? Like it's a bomb in the in the chat, like two hundred dollars a week, which you can assume is ten percent, right? Two thousand. That's a that's one hundred thousand dollars a year is why God chose him as the vessel.
01:07:30
Speaker
Which, great. Good for you. Maybe so. Five years ago, $100,000 a year. Yeah, I mean, look, that is that was good. I'm proud of you, man. But that doesn't – a lot of people are doing all right and have more going for them physically speaking.
01:07:45
Speaker
Yeah. Honestly, what's crazy is you don't even – like God chose you because you're wealthy. Like God could easily – like what's a –
01:07:58
Speaker
a sexy tennis coach that makes $30,000 a year at the, at the fucking, uh, what's the, whatever club, the country club, right? Like the tennis instructor, that guy could pull, right? Like if God's MO was to just have sex with women, there is just money. Isn't, doesn't have to be a factor.
01:08:20
Speaker
Uh, No, it's true. It really, uh, there's this, it can be, but like not at a hundred thousand dollars. You got to like, at what point is money? The fact that like what, how much, ah how much a year do you have to make before women have sex with you? No matter how stupid you look.
01:08:38
Speaker
I guess it just really depends on, uh, you know, where you're Bill Belichick. Yeah. Obviously, Robert Kraft didn't have enough to do it that way.
01:08:49
Speaker
but
01:08:53
Speaker
yeah So here's ah here's ah an example of like the ah this weird mindset shift. So it's a picture of a lady in a blue bikini from behind. It says, a lot of people follow God, but there are a lot of people God follows. You got what it takes to lure the master?
01:09:12
Speaker
Okay, now he's... this Now we're getting creepier, right? I didn't know coming to God meant lots of bedroom time with the girls. That's what God wanted a body to enter into to draw girls to himself.
01:09:25
Speaker
God is girl crazy. All right. Well, what was... ah Do you have... a do Did you clip the one that you sent me today that was like...
01:09:37
Speaker
ah where my He became immediately more concerning? Uh, no, I didn't. Cause that was, that was a very predatory one. Um, was it a, was it a video or was it a caption?
01:09:51
Speaker
Cause there was like some, there was a couple of captions that were so strange. It was a video. It was, uh, hold up. God entered into my body like a body my same size.
01:10:05
Speaker
This is the Holy Ghost of Baptism. Acts 2.38 in the Bible. I see non-stop visions from God. In the Bible, God said it is not good that the man should be alone. I see visions of God. He tells me where to go to pick up women. And when I'm with the women, I see visions of God. And he tells me what to say them.
01:10:27
Speaker
so yeah like god god tells me where to go and what to say maybe it was this first one that you sent me that was like even more terrifying greetings it is september the 14th
01:10:44
Speaker
That's the one.
01:10:54
Speaker
whatever it was that we were wanting use to begin but but if you're like that's not the um That was one where he shows his twig and berries.
01:11:05
Speaker
That was, ah he was talking about losing weight. But yeah, his one was like, when I want to see, like when I want to like meet women or be with women, God tells me where to go. Like that's when you start going like,
01:11:17
Speaker
it How much longer is it before this guy thinks that like God's telling him to take that one home who walks kind of straight all by their lonesome? It's creepy. There's a few posts that have really ah that have really pointed that direction. He's got kind of an Ariel Castro vibe, I feel like.
01:11:35
Speaker
My date with women starts in the bedroom. If it ends there, I still got what God wanted. I want to be Honey Bunchkins in Jesus name. This means God inside my body will be our Honey Bunchkins.
01:11:47
Speaker
Yeah, dude, I don't. It's gotten worse. I went to heaven and it was filled with women. I went to them. This is heaven, even if it wasn't heaven.
01:11:58
Speaker
Yeah. He, needs this guy kind of needs to be on a watch list. Um, you know, the, the, uh, the, what's the movie where, with Tom Cruise, where the, uh, robots arrest you before you commit a crime based on them. No, yeah.
01:12:15
Speaker
Uh, Minority report. Yeah. Like, dude, he would if he'd be the first one picked up like this is this is when you go look, maybe they're like i there's a lot going on in the world right now with ah revolving around conversations of ah certain political figures wanting to eliminate due process in this world.
01:12:36
Speaker
ah But then occasionally you watch and follow an Instagram profile like this and you go, well, maybe there should be some exceptions. Yeah. Red flag law. Yes. For just, yeah. Red flag law for just Instagram users ah might be help. Like, like now there's enough material here for this guy to be sectioned tomorrow.
01:13:00
Speaker
Well, and if you if you ladies, if you're in the like greater Indianapolis area and you're concerned about Bob, just know that he does have a type. okay And there might be a reason why he's posting so many pictures of butts. um I've learned if the woman isn't farting around me, i better leave her alone.
01:13:21
Speaker
Farting women are the best lovers. Okay. Okay.
01:13:25
Speaker
ah Why do women poop and leave the bathroom door open so their man can see and sometimes don't even flush the toilet? Why do they do this? Why? the He's dated one woman in the past 25 years, and that's he's come to that conclusion because she shit in his toilet. Like, and you're right that if there's anything screams tweaker, it's shitting in your toilet and leaving it there.
01:13:49
Speaker
Yeah, and I'm not convinced that he doesn't enjoy it. He loves it. he He asks her to leave it there. He rewards that behavior. He actually says, women that fart the hardest get more money from their dude.
01:14:03
Speaker
Oh. The farting thing is interesting. ah Not unexpected, really, ah but he he seems to view... i can't tell if it's sexual. like I'm sure there's a sexual component to it, but maybe he values honesty and transparency.
01:14:19
Speaker
yeah I'm sure that's what it is.
01:14:24
Speaker
So, okay, this is the one that I was looking for, because this is the one that was like, holy smokes, has he got somebody chained up?
01:14:35
Speaker
So this is a post of him shirtless just kind of like staring into the camera in his basement. God said, go to the gas station by Walmart. I didn't want to.
01:14:46
Speaker
But there was a woman there. She's here with me now. God even told me what to say to her to get her into the car. After I got her in the car, it was easy to get her home in Jesus' name.
01:14:57
Speaker
Don't look for a girlfriend. Come to Jesus. Gee, holy fuck, dude. What is that, dude? What is that? What?
01:15:07
Speaker
Was that Amber? I hope it was Amber. What's going to happen is this episode is um this episode is going to come out the same day that that he gets arrested, and this won't be funny.
01:15:19
Speaker
ah Yeah. Well, if there is somebody in his basement, here's what she's experiencing right now. God entered into my body. When I'm with a woman, I see visions of God and he tells me what to say.
01:15:31
Speaker
He moves my arms and hands. That woman don't know who is doing the loveys. The loveys. The loveys for your Honey Bunchkins. Honey Bunchkins?
01:15:44
Speaker
going to start calling my wife Honey Bunchkins and see if she kills me. Mine too. i've I've already started. ah It's so creepy. I think that's a good, that'll stick for a while. I have a long running thing with April where I'm trying to convince her that, uh, people call me the mad dog.
01:16:05
Speaker
Oh yeah. Yeah. and And the hardest part for her to believe it is she's never heard it. yeah No, babe, babe at work. I'm the mad dog.
01:16:16
Speaker
It's like, you know, that's why, uh, That's why people call me the mad dog. it's like you know that That has strong, ah that evokes strong Detroiters vibes.
01:16:32
Speaker
ah That's very, yeah, Detroit. yeah I think you should leave Tim Robinson. It's very like Detroit in general, but also that, yes. You know, if you can't run with the mad dogs, you got stay on the porch with the puppies.
01:16:48
Speaker
She hates it. She really hates it. It makes her immediately angry. yeah I can't believe she hasn't left you. i think i I honestly don't think my relationship would last me saying something like that more than two or three times.
01:17:01
Speaker
I'm going to start paying people at work to call me the dog in front of her. That would
01:17:10
Speaker
incredible that would be That would be worth every cent. And we know how much you like spending money on stupid shit. I do. That is my favorite thing, actually. so So, yeah, that's an a little update on Bob Hickman, and we'll do another update, you know, whenever the ah official court documents come out.
01:17:30
Speaker
Yeah, when the police report finally hits. but I'm going to follow up with him. I'm going to reach back out. I'm going text that number I had before, too. The problem is with this guy, what the problem I ran into was he was like,
01:17:44
Speaker
Like, we I messaged it with him on Instagram for a minute, and then he sent me his number. And then, i like, he, in expected but slightly unexpected fashion, like, Jill and I were sitting down watching TV one night, and he texts me.
01:18:01
Speaker
He's like, I'm free now if you want to do the podcast. I'm like, that's not how this shit works, dude. Like, I don't know that you know how schedules work. I think... I know it's crazy. I mean, he shows up to work. I remember a
Bizarre Job Interview Story
01:18:16
Speaker
while back. do you remember Were you following at the time where he was in between jobs? He had gotten fired from UPS and was looking for another job, and he was talking about his FedEx interview going well.
01:18:27
Speaker
Can you imagine interviewing this guy? Oh, I saw a video earlier today, an older video where he talked about doing a phone interview and the guy mentioned something about God and he's like, so I shared with him.
01:18:40
Speaker
yeah Keep in mind, he's wearing a cloak and he's over top of one of those like Spencer's Gifts crystal balls with the little lightning bolts shooting out of it. And he's like, so I told him about my experiences and he looked me up on the internet while he was on the call and then he hung up on me.
01:18:59
Speaker
So, you know, God cost me another job. God cost me another job. Incredible.
Podcast Plans and Promotions
01:19:06
Speaker
This has something special. He needs a great like serial killer name, just preemptive, just in the hatch. I don't know, like John Wayne Gassie or something. You need to... what you what we What you need to do is take an entire week off from work just in case he...
01:19:23
Speaker
It's like, okay, I'm ready now. And we can be like, all right, let's do it. yeah Because I have the summer off. So after June 20th, if you could just like pick a week in the summer to just take off and do literally nothing except for wait for Bob Hickman to say he's ready to do the podcast, we might be able get him on.
01:19:42
Speaker
Bob entered my lobby. Oh,
01:19:49
Speaker
man. Well, there we have it. Bob Hickman, everyone. I hope you all follow his page. i I hope you appreciate the darkness in all of this the way we do.
01:20:03
Speaker
If you don't, I understand. but Don't tell us about it. Yeah, don't don't complain. Don't be like, you should be better than this. Oh, God. We're not, though. We're just we're not.
01:20:16
Speaker
That's the thing, is we're not. We're not.
01:20:20
Speaker
uh we don't plug it enough but we we have a discord server and the links in our instagram bio but you should join if you're not in it you should join we're kind of doing a like an album review thing right now sam's running And it's brought up some interesting some interesting music from different users.
01:20:43
Speaker
yeah we Yeah, we started the yeah an album review club. We drop a new album on Sundays, unless we forget to review it by Sunday. ah Well, the album, it's supposed to be reviews in by Sunday, new album on Monday. So anyone who wants to join it just gets added to the rotation.
01:20:58
Speaker
It's all over the place because, ah I mean, anyone who's listened to this show for a while knows where Casey and I kind of land on our proclivities, ah musical proclivities, but ah a good mix of people are around for this, and which is what I like. um We just had an album get dropped that ah Some people gave like an eight or a nine and other people gave a three or a four. And you can't be sensitive. If if you're going to post your favorite album of all time, expect somebody to hate it and expect somebody to love it. But it just creates some fun discussion and opens us up to some new music because we're all kind of in...
01:21:43
Speaker
I don't I'm always in kind of like a similar cycle for music where it's like, I don't even know how to branch out and algorithms don't really help you do that. They're like, Oh, you like this. You'll probably like this. And you just kind of find more shit in the same realm that you like. But, um, and doing something like this is a lot of fun. and ah It brings a lot of artists to your attention that are loved by others that you might've never heard of. So join in we can add you to the rotation.
01:22:09
Speaker
um And you only have to listen to one album a week. So you'll at least hopefully listen to 52 new albums a year. And that is something sick. Yes. And oh, and shout out to a couple people. So shout out to our buddy Spencer Bland, who's just made the move to Los Angeles. Yeah. ah If you're in L.A. or around there, ah keep an eye out for Spencer doing stand up.
01:22:36
Speaker
And ah oh, I was going to tell i Last night we were packing for a trip and we were listening to Boys Bible Study head in a little while.
Film Discussions and Episode Wrap-up
01:22:48
Speaker
And they're doing a few like ah like Hollywood blockbuster type movies. And the one we were listening to last night was Battlefield Earth. which I've never seen, but that's like the famous like Scientology, Ron Hubbard fiction, like sci-fi movie with John Travolta that was a huge flop.
01:23:10
Speaker
yeah It is Supposedly, it's just remarkably bad, just very stupid. It all takes place in the future. And these like, you know, Klingon style alien race like runs the planet Earth now.
01:23:26
Speaker
um And men have like in a thousand years, basically, like people have reverted back into cavemen. Somehow just the whole thing is so stupid. It very funny to listen to them talk about it and explain what's going on and stuff. So I love those guys.
01:23:43
Speaker
One more plug is ah last week we talked to Tyler Eaton, the director and creator of Mysterious Ways.
01:23:54
Speaker
yeah Yeah, we really enjoyed that. ah Enjoyed the movie. We enjoyed talking to Tyler about it. um Help him out. Be cool. Rent it on Amazon.
01:24:06
Speaker
it's It's good. it's It's absolutely worth the time to watch it. It's a great film. It's um some great actors in it. And it was, yeah. I mean, if you listen to last week's episode, it was very, it really, it works.
01:24:21
Speaker
You don't have to grow up in that world to be like, oh, this is funny. But there are a lot of nods to that world that if you grew up in evangelical Christianity, you'll appreciate even more.
01:24:32
Speaker
ah So definitely, definitely go rent that on Amazon. Support your independent filmmakers that to, to make an independent film and get it on Amazon is, is no fucking joke. Uh, and he worked his fucking ass off for it. So, uh, yeah. And it's only like three bucks.
01:24:49
Speaker
Yeah. You can, even if you don't have an hour and a half, spend the $3, just spend the $3. Yeah. it's like a child Go a week without dildo grease or something for real.
01:25:02
Speaker
Yeah. that's That's literally less than a shit ass drink from Dunkin Donuts. So I don't want to fucking hear it. I hate Dunkin Donuts. It's terrible. It's really disgusting. Yeah.
01:25:14
Speaker
Anyway. Anywho. See later. Bob would say if Bob likes to do that. It'd be like, say something really bizarre, right? And then be like, anyways, so I'm starting my shift at a FedEx soon.
01:25:29
Speaker
So anyways. All right, everybody. Thanks for listening, and we will see you in two weeks.