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Ep. 223 – Cool Cat Loves You, and No Bully Can Pluck You Out of His Father’s Hand
252 Plays1 month ago
This week we’re discussing the work of famed independent filmmaker and author, Derek Savage! Derek has produced a number of interesting kids movies and books over the years, including Cool Cat Saves the Kids, Bible Birdie, Trolly the Trout, and The Dancer: A Male Stripper Story… need I say more? This is a fascinating wormhole I went down this week, and I think you’re going to enjoy it!
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Transcript
The Absurdity of Trolley the Trout
00:00:00
Speaker
was another character of his is trolley, the trout, and he's a fish. Yeah. And, uh, there's, it looks like there's a story called trolley makes friends, which, you know, that sounds good enough. Okay.
00:00:18
Speaker
Uh, but then there's another one called trolley finds a gun. got flippers out in the ocean.
00:00:30
Speaker
I need more information. Yeah. How did that gun get to the bottom of the ocean? Was it used? and It was a murder weapon. Someone dunked it in the fucking Mystic River.
00:00:41
Speaker
ah RFK chucked it into the Hudson after shooting that bear.
Christian Media and Its Quirks
00:01:06
Speaker
Hey everybody, we are back with another episode of Growing Up Christian. I'm Sam. And I'm Casey. And boy, we've been going down memory lane over the past 15 minutes before hitting record and thinking about all the uses of ah white people rapping to convey the importance of something to children.
00:01:30
Speaker
it's one of the It's one of the like dorky social outcast youth leader tools of the trade. You know, you have to write a rap at some point.
00:01:41
Speaker
eighty dude the I mean, because how many, well, I've shared that story of visiting my friend's church where like a 14, 15 year old boy and his mom did a rap for the church. um That was, I think it was as most church rap, as most special music church raps are,
00:02:03
Speaker
it takes it took like a, i think it took like a rap song and maybe like they just changed the
Awkward Adaptations in Christian Settings
00:02:09
Speaker
words to it. ah But I guess it's also possible that it was as cringe as it was because it was like his original. And this was like, it kind of like pasty Jehovah's witness style. while Like the kid could have easily been mistaken for Jehovah's witness.
00:02:24
Speaker
And he's up there like, I love rap. And then tries to rap in front of the church with his mom. It was, how's it compared to Jesus Christ is my N word.
00:02:34
Speaker
That That class one is a classic. The internet is full ah of ah middle-aged whites trying to change the lyrics to rap songs to make them Christian and awesome. And it's full of people cheering in the audience. Yeah, MAGA does that too. um When I was in high school and I was taking Driver's Ed, the one we had around here,
00:03:01
Speaker
that some people, some of the listeners may be familiar with, I don't know, um, was the no zones. Um, and it was just about blind spots. It was all about, ah it was just like, no zones, stay out of the no zones. And then they would like go into the raps. And of course, like it was just, the you know, even for the nineties, I gotta, I gotta hand it to them for inclusivity. Right.
00:03:29
Speaker
ah You had your white girl, your white boy. it was like the Power Rangers, really. I guess it was as inclusive as the Power Rangers. You just check all those boxes um and then have them do a little rap.
00:03:43
Speaker
Yeah. I posted one to our story today ah the other day, too. never heard this before. this um Was that gospel duck in friends?
Puppet Ministry and Danny McBride
00:03:58
Speaker
I don't, I don't know if that's a real thing. I didn't do any sort of deep dive, but, um, it has like a Donald duck sounding voice talking about, it is cut and paste Donald duck. It's even got like a slightly different colored version of his outfit with like the little hat and stuff.
00:04:17
Speaker
Yeah. It sounds like. Oh,
00:04:24
Speaker
I love to be a duck for Jesus. It's even Donald Duck in it, you know? Eulich has a verse in there where he sings about, like, thinking he was ugly.
00:04:39
Speaker
it's even donald duck in it you know
00:04:48
Speaker
a person in there where he sings about light be thinking he was ugly He wanted to fly before, but he hated his webbed feet and he thought he was ugly. But now he's fine because he's settled for being a duck for Jesus.
00:05:04
Speaker
Well, I'm just glad he found peace in the Lord. ah We're about to get to the part where the ah the rapid rhino shows up. You stand up and say, that ain't my thing, because I'm into Jesus.
00:05:16
Speaker
He's the king of kings. He died on the cross to forgive my sins. And on the third day, he rose again. He made fool of the devil and all of his crew. You hear what I'm saying?
00:05:27
Speaker
I'm talking to you. Oh, Yeah.
00:05:31
Speaker
solid rhyme schemes and then it shows him like elevate in the air and his feet are hovering and they're just he's like clicking the back of his heels like he's trying to go back to fucking kansas it's pretty sick dude i i just imagine like the the the knee bent bouncing that the person recording that did because it was definitely like ah pudgy 40 something boomer first sure He was doing that thing that they always do when there's anything involving hip-hop where they they kind of bounce up and down, and you have to take your you have to like stretch one hand out at a time, and your hand has to be at a 90-degree angle from your arm, and you chop. you know thats yeah they like it that's That's what they think like the motion
00:06:19
Speaker
yeah you like And those were puppets, by the way, um which made me, you know, it made me think back to my time in puppet ministry, ah doing cool songs and possibly the occasional rap. If i remember correctly, I don't remember a lot of the songs we did.
00:06:38
Speaker
The top of your head, make a guest appearance. It never did. Dude, I was professional, dude. Don't even say that about me. i I was, I was so professional. I really worked at it. I had, I would practice, dude. I had the,
00:06:51
Speaker
You know, you hold the puppet with one hand, you have your hand up its ass, and then you have like the two sticks in the other hand. I'm like, it's kind of like I practice. i can I can probably still move a puppet's fingers and hands, puppet's hands better than I can use a pair of chopsticks.
00:07:07
Speaker
right Well, that's but one is infinitely more useful than the other. And i I was listening to an interview with Danny McBride ah about the new season of Righteous Gemstones. And turns out his mom was also in puppet ministry for a while. so Oh, dang. What was he on?
00:07:27
Speaker
um It was an interview. i was with him on Theo Vaughn that I heard him mention that. It was a clip of him talking about it with Theo. Oh, man. I got to listen to that. He was on Matt and Shane like a year ago and it was pretty great. and yeah he just did his whole podcast circuit ah to promote the new season of Righteous Gemstones, the new and final season, um which I haven't started yet. But I think that's another one that is um that one.
00:07:58
Speaker
That one resonates with ara our our people pretty, pretty strongly. Dude, so um touching on the rap conversation.
Derek Savage's Unusual Career
00:08:11
Speaker
So I went down ah quite a rabbit hole over the weekend.
00:08:17
Speaker
As you do with your spare time. Yeah. Yeah. Like I could read a book or invest it into something. Yeah. No. Why would you? Yeah. And so there' is a ah there's a Turkey Tom video about this guy who is – It said the worst children's movie director ever.
00:08:38
Speaker
And it's about this guy named Derek Savage who it's funny when you see some of these people and like, there's so many people that are kind of in the ancillary like orbit of Hollywood that tried really hard to do something mainstream for a career.
00:08:58
Speaker
And it just never worked. And so they like to the bar's weird rabbit trails for like the rest of their life, trying to figure out how to make it off of like their, their strange, like franticical comedy act whatever. Yeah. They pick like a hyper niche lane, um hoping that whichever people care about it will tap in exclusively out of the ah lack of budding content creators in that genre.
00:09:32
Speaker
Like how many prop comics are there? Like if you're if you're a mediocre prop comic, like you might get some attention because of people who are some sort of alt comic where you have like a lane of people who are going to be into it.
00:09:46
Speaker
um They're just gonna. I mean, yeah, I mean, it's like you just kind of hope that they'll be into I guess that's what ah you know what. Let's point the finger. but well When you got one point, you know, what what do they say? You have one finger pointed at other people and you got three pointing right back at you.
00:10:05
Speaker
It's true. It's true. yeah So let's think about it. The ex-evangelical crowd is pretty big now. And it's it's a little bit tough to break into that that that circle um with entertainment and media. But that was one of those ones that there was like, you know, 10 people doing it.
00:10:26
Speaker
really well and then there was like a thousand that popped up overnight because it was like oh this is like this is an area we can we could maybe make some traction in yeah i feel like if one falls off too it's not necessarily like that person's not necessarily going to be replaced like when someone inevitably gets caught messaging 30 women behind their wife's back Yeah. Like what's that? what would they yourot and search kids Oh, yeah they were, they were one of the biggest. And then, uh, one of the homies and it ended up kind of just getting weird about shit.
00:11:02
Speaker
Yeah. That whole polyamory thing. That's, that's real hard to get everybody on the same page.
Ex-Evangelical Lifestyles and Counseling Critiques
00:11:09
Speaker
It's so funny because let's be real though. In, uh, in like this ex evangelical, like sex positive,
00:11:16
Speaker
um anti-heteronormative world. It's like, yeah, me and my wife, we have an open relationship. And they're like, oh that's so sexually mature and spiritually mature of you.
00:11:30
Speaker
And it's like, oh, nobody nobody thought to ask his wife. No one wanted to verify that. ah No one wanted to fact check him on ah polyamory. that's That's pretty funny. I feel like that's like the move of, like, with that being in the zeitgeist now, could anybody walk around be like,
00:11:48
Speaker
They're like, you're married. You have a wedding ring. You're like, oh, it's cool. We have an open relationship.
00:11:54
Speaker
I mean, I'm sure a lot of people try that approach. thats That's the... ah that's the but I don't even know what the word I'm looking for. those ah I don't know if it's sex positive or if it's um open, affirming, accepting, whatever.
00:12:11
Speaker
that That's just the new... ah They said they were 18. Yeah.
00:12:20
Speaker
yeah He said they had an open marriage. It's not my fault. Undoubtedly how ah just as many social media like figures fall. yeah i feel like with I think ah there is an element of that like sex positive community that has a little bit of the same vibe as like a youth pastor who's been married for two years. He married, married the first girl he ever dated.
00:12:51
Speaker
They've been married for two years and he's doing like counseling courses for teens in the youth group that want to get married. Yeah. And it's like, Hey, look, man, um, do this successfully for 10 years. and And then you can tell people,
00:13:06
Speaker
about it and give advice until then. Like, I don't want to hear from you. Like just do your thing and be quiet. Do it. Actually do it. I'll do it successfully. I guess whatever the successful relationships look like between youth pastors and their wives, or just ah maybe get a real degree in counseling and not like biblical counseling that like not some pretend certification through a Christian university or college.
00:13:29
Speaker
Maybe he doesn't want to be brain poisoned by the, the, the liberal academia elite, you know? Right. I mean, I'm sure that's the case because ah I don't know if you knew this, but like there are some marriage counselors out there, Casey, that will say that maybe you should get divorced.
00:13:48
Speaker
And that just doesn't align with my biblical principles. That's what I that's like an exact quote of things that I would hear from people who would get counseling outside of biblical like by like biblical marriage counseling, which is so funny. Like,
00:14:05
Speaker
like the, the total opposite of anything scientific, uh, not that social, I mean, social science is a science in, in a sense in psychology is, but like ah counseling, look, there's a lot of bad counselors out there. Uh, so yeah, maybe, maybe some are like, you guys sound like you should get divorced. There there might be people who just aren't good at their jobs and,
00:14:31
Speaker
have no can't imagine a way that you would work around certain challenges uh but the idea really would be that like if but i think it's just funny coming from like christians having that complaint where it's just like right so you're you're literally doing the opposite of what like any good social sciences or any good counselor is, is I have a predetermined set of ideals that I want to superimpose onto you. And if you don't agree with them, I'm going to tell you you're wrong.
00:15:03
Speaker
Even just being in the business of advice giving is a dangerous position for you to put yourself in as a counselor. Cause if you go, i think you should get divorced and then you do. And then there, and then those people are miserable that They blame you.
00:15:19
Speaker
They're going to blame you because that's what humans do. They scapegoat everything. Or if you say, I think you should stay together. And then ah one person in that relationship like punches the other one in the face right now. You're, they're going to blame you and they might hold you alive. Like that you don't give advice that you just don't do it.
00:15:40
Speaker
ah You, you work around, you go, you, you explore things. what the people involved ultimately want. So if they go, we want to make this work. Now your job is to work with them to do everything possible to make it work until they change their minds and they just want out.
00:15:57
Speaker
And it's like, like I, all I've learned since entering into a a ah counseling career is that ah everything I've ever heard Christians say about counseling is just, it's not counseling. It's just some content, a tall back chair giving you advice.
00:16:15
Speaker
Yeah.
00:16:18
Speaker
Probably. I don't know. I think i think I think like you said, when you when you start out as an 18 year old leaving high school thinking like, I know the answers. I know all the things.
00:16:33
Speaker
I know the right way to do everything. I just need to go to school to get a piece of paper that says that I learned why it's right. Right. You know, right it's not a good place to start with.
00:16:44
Speaker
it It'll tell me it'll show you that I've learned why it's right. It's like it'd be like if you got like um yeah it's like if in math class you were just like learning how to do long division, you were handed the answer key.
00:17:01
Speaker
And they're like, great, you know how to do all these. you We gave you the answer key and you memorized the answers. And now you're going to go to school to figure out why these are right. It's like, this is obviously not what school's for.
00:17:13
Speaker
Not what secondary education's, I mean, post-secondary education's for. So I don't know how we drifted to there, but...
Derek Savage's Imaginary Creations
00:17:21
Speaker
This guy, Derek Savage. yes so He is a... ah ah Somehow he went from being in ah in Playgirl magazine at one point, I think mostly as like a he was like a dating ad space in Playgirl, to, you know, like wannabe action star. None of that stuff really panned out for him.
00:17:44
Speaker
Does he have a skullet kind of thing going? Is his hair curly? Does it look permed? Think about, okay, think about a guy who would have been in a children's Christian video about whatever subject back in like the 90s. Like once we would have seen when we were kids, that's what he looks like.
00:18:04
Speaker
He has that specific haircut that only exists in that realm. like kind of bull study because i'm not i'm having a hard time with this it's like uh it's somewhere between like a it's like a comb over but also kind of spiky behind the comb over it's like a very uh you know tool time sort of oh we're like and there was out a little bit yeah and so This guy has tried a lot of different things and just none of them panned out. But at some point he kind of like decided that the lane for him was in children's entertainment and he was going to create the next like children's show that would go, you know, sky high, mega popular, the next Barney.
00:18:55
Speaker
And it's all based around his quota. Like, I guess what he claims was like his imaginary friend when he was a kid. which is a giant orange cat, an anthropomorphic orange cat called Cool Cat.
00:19:10
Speaker
Okay. That sounds entirely made up. I like when um when people come with shitty ideas and so you can't just dunk on it super hard. They're like, actually, this is really personal.
00:19:25
Speaker
This is like my childhood best friend. it's This it's really happened to me. It's really happened. It's like when you like... It's it's like the just that human meaning making mechanism that we have where you go.
00:19:38
Speaker
I here's this thing I'm doing or have experienced and now i'm going to try to make sense of it and I'll probably just create memories and manufacture concepts to back this shit up. It's the tattoo that you got drunkly drunken and like at age 18 when you were out with your buddies in like Myrtle Beach or something like that. You know, it's like that. Legend making.
00:20:00
Speaker
legend making getting namaste across your belly well that holds up that would be good forever actually namaste is making a comeback so he's made like a few different characters as well and kind of like tried to get ah several different ones to to take off now everybody in derrick savage is like uh you know, extended universe, like all of these characters have to have a name that rhymes with their own one and only character trait.
00:20:33
Speaker
Is it? So there's like what Butch, Butch the bully is a frequent like a character in all of his things. Is that, that's, is that right? Rhyming or alliteration?
00:20:46
Speaker
I don't know what the name is for it. It's, it sucks. Butch the So not very good. Butch and bully does not rhyme, Casey. No, it just starts with the same.
00:20:58
Speaker
That's alliteration. Okay, so alliteration. Okay, glad we cleared that up. There's a Bible Birdie. Oh, God. He published a book about Bible Birdie.
00:21:11
Speaker
No, wait, wait, wait, wait. Like Butch, Butch the bully. His name's Butch and he's a bully. Bible Birdie? Is this a bird named Bible? It's a bird that loves Christ.
00:21:26
Speaker
Let me see if I can read it. What's the bird's name? What's its actual name?
00:21:34
Speaker
Okay, well, yeah, I'll just read you the description on his Amazon listing. I'm sure that's going to clear a lot up. So let's, yeah, let's start there. This sounds cool. Oh, also, he stole the artwork for this drawing from ah ah someone on Twitter.
00:21:48
Speaker
Did he He's to leverage their way into the Cool Cat movie. but Okay, well, i already becomes best friend I can't imagine what kind of position the person is in if they're trying to leverage their way into a cool cat movie.
00:22:04
Speaker
Oh, they're a meme. They're meme lords. i don't feel I do feel bad that their art got stolen, but I am kind of happy for them that they dodged this bullet. This is the story of this guy's whole career is like making stuff that is unironically bad, but hilarious in how bad it is and not recognizing that like not a single iota of recognition he's ever gotten for his work comes from a place of like ah actual interest in the work.
00:22:36
Speaker
It's always ironic. It's always because somebody is like, oh my God, this sucks so bad that it's funny. Like the Christian Baldwin. Yeah, pretty much.
00:22:47
Speaker
So the synopsis for Bible Birdie says, Bible Birdie becomes best friends with Jesus Christ, and he experiences several wonderful adventures. Bible Birdie shows kids how cool Jesus is as he sees the miracles of the Bible come to life.
00:23:04
Speaker
The book consists of five chapters. This is, here's the chapters. Bible Birdie meets God. Bible birdie learns about heaven. even Moses could do that.
00:23:17
Speaker
Moses needed to be a bush that was on fire. otherwise Because anyone who sees the face of God dies. I want to know how birdie meets God and and whether or not birdie walks away with a big old gray beard afterwards.
00:23:30
Speaker
um Maybe it's any man who sees the face of God. Birdies are protected. That's true. You got me on that literalism. I like the literalism that you've gone back to, Casey.
00:23:44
Speaker
You can always weasel your way out of ah ah ah what's a yeah
00:23:51
Speaker
ah biblical conundrum. It's a commonistic interpretation of the so of the literature. um Chapter three is Bible Birdie Sees a Miracle.
00:24:04
Speaker
Then Bible Birdie makes a new friend. I would argue he already saw a miracle if he saw God and Jesus, but if those two don't do it for you, maybe watching somebody turn a grape into an apple.
00:24:19
Speaker
He's stacking miracles. Yeah. ah Final chapter is Bible Birdie is a winner. A 10,000 word faith-based story entertainment for the entire family.
00:24:32
Speaker
Oh, the whole family. Young and old alike will enjoy it equally. Okay, so here's some of the roots. So it has a 3.1 out of five stars with four ratings.
00:24:43
Speaker
Actually, ah Justin Han gave it one star. His review is cancer.
00:24:55
Speaker
This is cancer.
00:25:06
Speaker
This person went in depth. Okay, this says there are better Bible stories out there. To term this as a chapter book would be a massive exaggeration. this story The stories in this compilation are not as well written as they could be.
00:25:20
Speaker
They're more like something you'd read to a little kid, if that. There are glaring grammatical errors. How old is this person? How old is this person? Because I made the assumption that this was for little kids.
00:25:33
Speaker
This guy's like 40 and reading like, oh, this is probably good for kids, but I was looking for a real chapter book. That is not how you use a semi cool in Mr. Savage. He's he's he's at a point in his life where he's buying books that have he wants a chapter book. So he buys one with five chapters about a bird who meets God and then complains about the the gram. Who is this person?
00:25:59
Speaker
Hannah Good Day. Oh, it's a woman. I'm shocked. I'm shocked that this is a woman. ah So there are glaring grammatical errors, and this story never references Bible chapters or verses even once.
00:26:13
Speaker
It's just not necessarily like theologically correct. there are I only read the first story, and I can tell you that Jesus did not go to parties.
00:26:25
Speaker
Wow, Hannah sounds like so much fun. Hannah sounds like she doesn't know anything about the Bible. Jesus went to a couple of parties, and pretty sure he even turned water into wine at one of them.
00:26:37
Speaker
He did involve himself in gatherings, but they were much more sacred than that. That doesn't mean Jesus didn't live joyfully. It simply means that he has a deeper vision of the power of joy at its best.
00:26:49
Speaker
Oh my God, this woman is... no fun to be around, even by her peers in church. Hannah's too much for most people. when She describes herself here.
00:27:01
Speaker
Oh, she describes herself. She follows that up with, this is from an actual Christian. And if you would like a halfway decent story collection for your kiddos, there has more biblical solidity that has more biblical so solidity to it.
00:27:16
Speaker
Go read Arthur S. Mackwell's books instead. They might be decades old, but the lessons are timeless. And they they, yeah, they might be decades old. They occasionally still use the R word, but they're timeless. Yeah.
00:27:30
Speaker
So, yeah, I mean, Bible Birdie might not be his best work, but I'm not ruling it out, you know? Right. I'm he had some solid follow ups.
00:27:43
Speaker
So he's tried to do a whole bunch of these and the other. Dude, the one that I was looking at before we started that cracked me up was another character of his is Trolley the Trout.
The Bizarre Storylines of Trolley the Trout
00:27:58
Speaker
And he's a fish. Yeah. And right so there's it looks like there's a story called Trolley Makes Friends. Which, you know, that sounds good enough. OK.
00:28:11
Speaker
ah But then there's another one called Trolley Finds a Gun. got flippers out in the ocean I need more information.
00:28:25
Speaker
Yeah. How did that gun get to the bottom of the ocean? Was it used? and It was a murder weapon. Someone dunked it in the fucking Mystic River. RFK chucked it into the Hudson after shooting that bear. Yeah, he's ah mr savage likes guns clearly because he's tried to make gun content quite a few times. He did a, he did a gun safety for women movie, which looked great.
00:28:58
Speaker
and look I mean, if he didn't sexually harass the women in that movie. I was going to say it was an entire movie of him pretending to assault a lady while they pulled a gun on him. now in this He was raging hard the whole time.
00:29:12
Speaker
Oh, for sure. In this scenario, I'm an attacker, and I'm going to approach you in the dark alley and try to touch your breasts. Pull a gun on me. And he's like, now put it in my mouth.
00:29:25
Speaker
Put it in my mouth and say, I'll kill you.
00:29:30
Speaker
Whisper it. Whisper, I'll kill you in my ear while you touch my uvula with the barrel of that gun.
00:29:38
Speaker
So there is like, there's one screenshot of a page of two page, like an open section of the book that Derek is holding up in a YouTube video about it.
00:29:49
Speaker
Right. Okay. And, uh, I can't see all of the text on one of the pages, but I'll do my best here to interpret it. Um, the school bully, Billy, the bully,
00:30:02
Speaker
here's the conversation. There's a gun over there. I can bring it to school and take everyone's lunch money. Billy laughs wickedly. he, he. he but
00:30:17
Speaker
Billy swims to the gun. he knows he shouldn't touch it. Like eating a cookie before dinner. This bitch is a fucking fish and he knows what a gun is. He doesn't even have opposable fingers.
00:30:28
Speaker
He's drawn holding it. No way, dude. He's got like 1911 in his flipper. We, we have to post, uh, we have to do an episode post. We're bad at episode posts for the week.
00:30:45
Speaker
Um, I just got the idea to use meta AI imaging and just drop our episode titles into that and see what it spits out. And I'll just use one of those every week. But for this episode, um we get it we need a bunch of screenshots of like of this shit. This shit's nuts. Yeah.
00:31:07
Speaker
Billy's got a gun.
00:31:11
Speaker
So ah he knows he shouldn't touch it, like eating a cookie before dinner. So these are fish that eat cookies too, I guess. Yeah, that means we're just outside of the reality entirely now.
00:31:23
Speaker
But he picks it up and swims away. Trolley sees Billy. Oh no, Billy the bully took the gun. Should we tell somebody that he has it?
00:31:33
Speaker
So he is fully aware. it's It's a moniker that everyone acknowledges, apparently. He is Billy the Bully. That's officially his name, even within his peer group. Dude, how he ever going to grow into something better?
00:31:48
Speaker
How's he going to live into a truer life, a better life? I'm Billy the Bully. It's like, um what were those comics in your... ah In your school books? Oh, yeah. The ACE comics?
00:32:02
Speaker
Yeah. oh with Ace Virtuison and... Yeah, yeah. Racer Loyalton and stuff. ah Kind of like that. yeah they just... Their names define them and they can't... i mean, how do you... with When your name defines you in such a clear-cut way, how do you live into ah into something better, you know?
00:32:21
Speaker
Sad. Here's the cover of his... So, everything that he does... he he has a Kickstarter for, he rarely puts out any original media. Like he'll, so he'll have a Kickstarter. He'll be like, I need to raise $25,000 to make this self-defense for women video.
00:32:41
Speaker
And then he'll raise $400 and then he'll change the Kickstarter goal and he'll like switch everything around. And then he'll reach, release something that he's already made in release before.
00:32:53
Speaker
but cut with like three minutes of extra footage and be like, well, instead I thought it might be a good idea to release a cool cat flips a house, ah which actually is a, of one of his cool cat titles.
00:33:09
Speaker
As in cool cat buys a dilapidated house and flips it and then sells it. Yes. Oh my God.
00:33:21
Speaker
and he just keeps like re-releasing the same crap. Like he'll just splice it into other projects and be like, and this guy is like, Oh man, how do we get him on the podcast?
Derek Savage's Online Ventures
00:33:33
Speaker
What's he doing right now? What's his most recent thing?
00:33:37
Speaker
I don't know. I mean, I assume he's cleaning a gun somewhere. With the back of his throat. ah So he has consistently garnered attention from the internet.
00:33:49
Speaker
From the corners of Derek Savage. D-E-R-R-E-K. D-E-R-E-K. is Oh yeah, one R for Derek. Maybe it's Savage.
00:34:01
Speaker
Is this Ben and Fred's dad? I could be. I would die if it was their dad. Oh, he looks like a total dork. Michael Savage's illegitimate stepson.
00:34:15
Speaker
Cool cat looks like a furry.
00:34:19
Speaker
He does. He definitely looks like furry character. A lot of mascots for kids don't like have that. They look like mascots for kids. And people can make jokes. and they But what they do is they have a bigger torso. And they're kind of like stuffed animal-like. This is straight up a furry. He has sex with people in this costume, for sure.
00:34:41
Speaker
Here's Cool Cat Finds a Gun, revisiting some some familiar subject matter. wonder if he's drawn as a fit in that as well. thank god ah Cool Cat Finds a Gun is an American... dur Oh, yes, we will get to that.
00:34:59
Speaker
Okay. um just I'm thinking of ways to get in touch with him is all. I think if you want to talk to him, i think you can get in touch with it. I don't think he's got much going on to where he couldn't talk to us. but he So he has garnered attention from like the corners of the internet that would like find this funny you know and ironically post about it and stuff.
00:35:22
Speaker
Never realizes that like all of his recognition is from people ironically enjoying this crap that he makes. He's fully bought in on the idea that like he's helping children and stuff like that, or at least enough for, he's enough of a psychopath to like, you know, regurgitate those talking points over and over again.
00:35:43
Speaker
But what happens is, is like somebody will, he'll, he'll make contact with somebody with a large platform like, uh, you know like PewDiePie did a video on him at one point. and And he will like try to leverage this like ancillary contact with one of these YouTubers to get them to promote the Kickstarter for whatever he's working on.
00:36:06
Speaker
And by doing so, he'll be like, we're going to give so-and-so a role in the movie. And he's done it several times and then just basically took the Kickstarter money and done whatever with it. Like nothing to do with the project. He's gone to like great lengths to, to like persecute anyone who he finds talking bad about his work, which is also funny. Cause I mean, he's like the King of copyright claims and stuff. He's like gotten people's shut down.
00:36:37
Speaker
He's basically made like his money off of making his, Like, I love those people where, like, I'm going to make something and name it fairly. It's kind of like the George Lucas approach, right?
00:36:52
Speaker
Like, let me just kind of, like, go with general names, and then ah I'm going to make my bag. Dude, this guy's eyes are scary as fuck. He's full-fledged insane, for sure. i didn't i Sorry, i lost my train of thought because I have him up on – on Twitter, X, his eyes are just black circles.
00:37:16
Speaker
he Yeah. I know exactly what picture you're looking at, because I'm looking at it too.
00:37:24
Speaker
Yeah, he's, he's, he's Proposed several projects or had things that he like alluded to in in his promo videos and stuff that are just so off the wall insane.
00:37:39
Speaker
His pictures. I just went to his website. His movies. right I feel like the the the cover of his movies, Wither Without Cool Cat, just looked like 1990s porn parodies.
00:37:55
Speaker
Is it coolcatlovesyou.com? there's Yeah, yeah. No, it's savage1.com. Guns, knives, mace, self-defense for all. Pistol, shotguns, stun guns, karate defense.
00:38:08
Speaker
Also covers concealed weapons permits. Hosted by Derek Savage. Oh, man. I love this guy. Cool Cat vs. Dirty Dog. The Virus Wars.
00:38:23
Speaker
420 themed projects. One of them is, that this is a pot leaf. Not, that is not accurate. ah Okay. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Is this making fun now?
00:38:35
Speaker
if No, no. This is it. this These are real. 420 themed projects? No, I thought it was 420. It's 420. Oh yeah, that makes sense he's like a weed advocate.
00:38:49
Speaker
What? He's got two two novels listed close like side by side. right One is Apocalypse, the second coming, and it's a bad drawing of Jesus like posing over top of
The Eclectic World of Derek Savage
00:39:00
Speaker
the world. right The one next to it is The Dancer, a male stripper story.
00:39:07
Speaker
What? These are legitimate. This is not a joke. Like this actually crap he's put out. I need to see what the male stripper story is, but I'm looking at the four 20 band where it has blunt boy, lady leaf and doobie dude.
00:39:22
Speaker
And the leaf in it though, it looks like an Oak leaf, not anything like a pot leaf right next to it. The four 20 awards, which is a made up award show that he made up.
00:39:33
Speaker
And then, proceeded to give himself several awards and then children's books all right so now looking at his children i'm just gonna read off a list of his children books it's ah cool cat loves the beach and he's surfing next to like a a bay watch looking babe a strangely jointed woman cool cat loves wrestling ah Where he's standing next to like a WWE e kind of style.
00:40:01
Speaker
Cool Cat loves the soldiers. Cool Cat stops bullying. Where's the one you sent me too, Casey? It was like, it's not here. It's Cool Cat loves the children of soldiers or something like that? a Cool Cat loves military children.
00:40:19
Speaker
yeah Yeah, that's not listed here. with ah Military children, what do they do? They haven't done shit. They just were born into something. Well, you know, they're just children. let's just Let's just call them children with a transient lifestyles.
00:40:35
Speaker
ah But then, there yeah, there's Trolley Finds a Gun, Trolley in the Stolen Necklace. Which is ah it's the same artwork, slightly rearranged. Yeah, it's it's bunch of fish staring at the ground. One has a gun and one has a necklace.
00:40:51
Speaker
He does have merch and I might buy it. Oh, coolcatlovesyou.com is another. He has multiple websites, I guess. Yeah. OK, so maybe.
00:41:03
Speaker
So the big his big breakout movie is cool cat saves the kids.
00:41:10
Speaker
starring Eric Estrada and ah what's her name? Vivica A. Fox.
00:41:17
Speaker
Okay. And he has liberally used their names and attached them to other projects that they definitely did not consent to being in. Because he keeps reusing the same footage over and over again. think I need to buy... yeah I can buy this Cool Cat hat that comes with a keychain.
00:41:37
Speaker
For only $19.99. There's no add to cart button for that one, though. That's a bummer. i could get I could get this Cool Cat 3 DVD box set, which is Cool Cat Saves the Kids, Cool Cat vs. Dirty Dog, The Virus Wars, a family-friendly film at the funnest at its funnest, and then Cool Cat Bloopers, behind-the-scenes footage, acting scenes, and bloopers.
00:42:00
Speaker
ah Cool Cat vs. Dirty Dog, The Virus Wars.
00:42:08
Speaker
Yeah, Dirty Dog, he's ah he's always trying to punk the kids. That's a 63-minute run time. Oh, in one of his videos, he and he was talking about like his next project, which is, okay, the project he keeps talking about and teasing in indefinitely is Cool Cat Stops a shoot a School Shooting.
00:42:33
Speaker
He keeps hyping it and then like raising money for it. trying to get these YouTubers and stuff to like pitch, you know, like promote the Kickstarter and everything for a role in it.
00:42:43
Speaker
And it he at one point he's doing like this promo video and he's like, He's like, you got to hear the way the guy talks. It's so funny. He's like, gang, I'm real excited because I've been working on this next film. This next film that's going to be, it's really, it's going to be fun, but it's also very important. It's called Cool Cat Stops a School Shooting.
00:43:07
Speaker
And in it, we are featuring a brand new character because Dirty Dog, you all remember a Dirty Dog. Rascal, he's so, he's so ornery, you know,
00:43:19
Speaker
Dirty dogs got a slave. Oh, cool. Dirty dog. and There's a, you can buy a dirty dog shirt and it's like tucked between two pictures of dirty dog. One of closeup of his puppet is like, is like serial killer mask face and one of him in the shirt. And then there's some, some, uh,
00:43:41
Speaker
quotes below it and it says I'm a dirty dog and I'm the baddest dog ever you smell like a kid and kids stink
00:43:53
Speaker
this dude's a hack oh he's such a hack dude he's such a hack and that's kind of like leads to the next thing that's worth noting oh wait is is it in here cool cat loves the soldiers cool cat loves going green ah du at the very bottom At the bottom of the page, there's a donate button.
00:44:15
Speaker
And then between like greater than less than signs, like pointing in on the words, it says we are not seeking donations.
00:44:26
Speaker
I think that's so good for special purchases or additional postage. Like you put a donate button the bottom and they're like, we're not looking for these. But if the Lord ah leads you, i gotta to look up his contact page.
00:44:40
Speaker
Oh my god, you click contact and it's him holding two like two guitars. One hot pink. What? Really? Yeah, look at all the way down. He looks like such a bitch.
00:44:56
Speaker
Oh man, where's... Oh, contact, here we go. Derek Savage contact. Oh it's like ah It's like a disposable camera photo taken in his living room he's never unpacked.
00:45:08
Speaker
Yeah. Sucks so bad. But it says, can please media inquiries, please note that in the email title, you click on him, you click on his contact and you don't really get anything. So, oh, I found the, uh, there's an about page about Derek Savage.
00:45:27
Speaker
You want to hear it? Yeah. Um, Derek Savage writes novels, screenplays, kids' books, and music. From his novels and screenplays, The Second Coming, a love story set in the last days, Bad Boy, The Life and Times of a Male Dancer, Sweet Revenge, where a man gets justice against the street gang that murdered his family, to I Have Cancer, A Medical Marijuana Story,
00:45:55
Speaker
and his kids series, Cool Cat, Trolley the Trout, Baby Cat, Best Buddies, Donnie the Dinosaur, and Bible Birdie. Several children's characters that depict good, positive messages and teaches children in a fun and loving way.
00:46:10
Speaker
Derek loves to write, but he is mainly known no but he is mainly no for producing and directing movies, documentaries, and awards shows. Derek is the creator of the popular Cool Cat and the 420 Awards brands.
00:46:24
Speaker
Derek gets asked how Cool Cat came to be. ah hopeful we're not done. Okay. it sees It's a little verbose. ah back in his childhood de Back in his childhood, Derek created Cool Cat as an imaginary friend and then brought the character to life by writing the books.
00:46:43
Speaker
now Cool Cat was just like a three-foot-sized plushie that he would buttfuck. That's all that this thing was.
00:46:51
Speaker
He's a plushophile. He was like 12 years old, coming of age. He's got boners. That plush was soft. We get it. This is why you built your life on that.
00:47:03
Speaker
This is why you built your life on the one that got away. yeah I know. You and I are never going to make it in anything like this because we don't have faith in ourselves in this way, in like a psychotic way.
00:47:17
Speaker
It says, now Cool Cat brings happiness to kids worldwide and is a complete brand of books, clothing line, feature films, and music. Clothing line.
00:47:29
Speaker
I want to know the music than anything. He's got shirts that say Cool Cat and Dirty Dog. I want a shirt. I want shorts. You said shirts or shorts?
00:47:39
Speaker
I said ah clothing line. That's what he called it. I wouldn't mind a pair of like... Short shorts that said dirty dog across the ass. That'd be kind of sick. If you click on the, if you hover over the contact us here, it's a, the email is a cool cat web mail at yahoo.com.
00:48:01
Speaker
Down at the bottom. There's like a bunch of links here. Yeah. Tons of links. Derek on the cover of singles newspaper, 1987.
00:48:11
Speaker
Which is like a stock photo with him in there. It's not featuring him. It's a stock photo that he happens to be in. ah Then there's a Derek Savage story will make you dance, which has like a lady in a bikini doing like flash animation dancing.
00:48:28
Speaker
This guy doesn't make any sense. And then Derek practicing with his commas, which I guess are those little scythes that ninjas have sometimes. And it's him in a tank top and jeans, like, flipping these things around.
00:48:42
Speaker
Oh my god. This guy's such a nerd. So, the Cool Cat X page is... It's pretty cool. but there's There's a lot of good info on there.
00:48:56
Speaker
A lot of, ah you know, ah comment... baiting and stuff like that he likes to post videos of like an of a you know like a cute cat video and be like he's pretty cool but i'm the coolest cat it's lot of stuff like that yeah he's uh instigating cats is this um this is his this is the cool cat answer i'm looking at at derek savage what do you oh i haven't looked at that There's got to be some good political stuff on there.
00:49:29
Speaker
He's only following one person. He only has 246 followers. And it says creator of cool cat produces and direct directs the cool cat movies, author of apocalypse, the second coming and dancer ah and the dancer novels.
00:49:46
Speaker
Savage one.com. So while I was scrolling around, he hasn't posted since 2020. Okay. So he's, he's degenerated quite a bit since then, I think.
00:49:58
Speaker
So while I was scrolling around on the cool cat page, uh, yeah, he linked to a separate page, something about like producing a rap song.
00:50:10
Speaker
And it was a person called hood hat hood rat raps. And within 10, 10 seconds. Wow. Within 10 seconds, you realize this is Derek.
00:50:22
Speaker
This is Derek, like wearing a mask and yelling obscenities that he doesn't want to say on his cool cat page, but still trying to get attention because he's, you know, he's a Trumper of course, and all of that. So I'm going to play you, uh, one of his hit songs called garbage man.
00:50:42
Speaker
This is on his X account? On the Cool Cat Loves You account? It was. Now it's on the Hood Rat Raps account. Okay, this is pretty active, though.
00:50:59
Speaker
The experimental... doing the dance. Should I change my name from Hood Rat to Garbage Man? That's what the old course fight. That's to call us.
00:51:15
Speaker
past four years. Things are really bad. Everything is too expensive. Oh my god. And the rivers are flooding our land. It's so bad. It's like... The in the hole in the corpse.
00:51:32
Speaker
weve I mean, x it's so bad that it's hard to enjoy even from like a cringe perspective. like Because it's it's not only are the lyrics stupid, but it's not even close to on any sort of beat.
00:51:48
Speaker
And he's wearing a hoodie and a balaclava, and he's doing that ah boomer rap motion that I was talking about. He's just like flinging his bent wrists around. Yeah.
00:52:02
Speaker
Oh, God. I scrolled down to February 23rd on Cool Cat Loves You. And it's ah sharing a something that he was tagged in. says, is this picture sexy or not? What do you think?
00:52:15
Speaker
And it's this is replying to Cool Cat Loves You and Moo Cow Named Moo. And it says, Cool Cat. No, you said my picture I drew was too sexy.
00:52:27
Speaker
How can I make it less sexy so you can quote tweet it? I think it is because Derek Daddy is wearing a cool cat shirt, but this is good thing, so I don't know what to fix.
00:52:39
Speaker
I can only do so much because I used MS Paint. And it says daddy and mama cat forever. And I don't know who this daddy is, but they're like these giant red lips.
00:52:55
Speaker
Okay. That's what he's called in the movie. Cause of course he's also a feature actor in it. This is like gross. Um, it's clearly someone making fun of him.
00:53:09
Speaker
And he reposts it anyways, thinking that, like, he doesn't get that it's someone. even confident. I'm not totally confident that it's someone making fun of And that's what makes me more uncomfortable.
00:53:20
Speaker
Like, the more I scroll down this page, i can't. Cool cat stuff. Okay. So dirty dog is the one who tries to do the school shooting. I love how dirty dog is just around to keep doing mischievous things like school shootings and ah still show up for the next movie without serving life in prison. That's pretty cool.
00:53:44
Speaker
This is wild. The hood rat page has tweets like, It says, yo, my producer Derek Savage of me just wrote my new song and I'm digging it. Be recording it soon.
00:53:57
Speaker
so, so Cool Cat Loves You has 34.8 thousand followers. That's pretty good. I'm going to follow.
00:54:08
Speaker
Can you not message people anymore on X unless they follow you too? Is that like a new thing?
00:54:17
Speaker
I'm not sure. God, X is such a fucking joke now. This isn't even a real website. it's ter It looks like absolute dog shit on your computer.
00:54:33
Speaker
He's got a picture on here of Zelensky wearing a MAGA hat with ah with a word bubble that says, I never liked Kamala. And he says, now this guy loves Trump, but Trump will leave a turd ball in his hand, smiley face.
00:54:49
Speaker
cool so at least he honestly has a better idea of who Trump is than most people I think yeah I mean that's that's mean that's pretty accurate pretty believable I guess I like there's a cake cake anyone he made a cake I don't know whatever like we don't need to narrate his entire feed here it's just truly but wild um I want him I want to talk to him I want to know and understand this man to a higher degree
00:55:21
Speaker
I would love to talk to... Oh, wait. Does he have another song? Okay, hang on. I got something to say. And listen up so we can all be clear.
00:55:32
Speaker
These are riffs. He steals these from SoundCloud. Oh, yeah. I see my city falling apart. The streets are filthy with drug addicts nodding down.
00:55:45
Speaker
No, Ryan. This is the same beat. It's through the roof. the Whoa. Speaking true That's a mic drop moment, dude.
00:56:02
Speaker
they're here to hurt us whoa choose to power that's a mic drop moment dude
00:56:13
Speaker
I like is honestly is hood rat, the furry equivalent of doing blackface. I think, I think he just moved into weird territory with that.
00:56:26
Speaker
Yeah. I it's, it's definitely like openly racist. Like, uh, he posts some like, uh, end the wokeness rage bait type stuff and he said some pretty uh some pretty rough stuff on there yeah that's not shocking that's crazy i i like finding it's crazy that he has more like significantly more followers than us on all of our platforms combined
00:56:58
Speaker
well you have to give it to him he does try hard He tries way harder than we do. As hard mentally capable of doing. Maybe that's our biggest downfall is just how little we try outside of this.
00:57:11
Speaker
ah I think we need to take some notes from Cool Cat.
00:57:20
Speaker
We got a comment today on an old YouTube video. That was funny. Oh, yeah? It was ah our episode with Tommy Green. And the dude was mad that Tommy Green didn't present himself as like Christian enough. And it was like really disappointing for him.
00:57:39
Speaker
I almost just, I almost responded about how much of a fucking bitch he was, but I just was like, I don't need, what am I doing? I don't need to do this. I'm actually at work. Why don't I just do my job instead of getting you an online argument with some dumb commenter on YouTube?
00:57:55
Speaker
So you need to tap into your inner Derek Savage and mail that guy an envelope of anthrax. Yeah.
00:58:08
Speaker
So yeah, cool cat and Derek Savage. Fascinating stuff. I, uh, I don't, I don't really know. i mean, I think a lot of people are in the same boat, right? But there is something about people like this that like, I,
00:58:25
Speaker
I just like it. I like how bad he sucks. I like the unwavering belief in the vindictive nature of like how he responds to criticism and stuff like it's so funny to me.
00:58:38
Speaker
That I'm going to follow him and, you know, I might order some of his stuff just so I can see what's in it, you know? I kind of want a cool cat shirt. ah It's enjoyable.
00:58:49
Speaker
i find that this kind of stuff is enjoyable to the extent that it's not socially destructive. Like, when when you see, like... uh when you see people who suck like this and it's just like oh wow what a dork uh it's like that guy we knew in college he just fucking sucks so bad and then it's like and then they all of sudden like you know control a part of the government and it's like this isn't funny anymore they're like you ruined it uh trump on the apprentice fine that was pretty fucking funny that shit was pretty funny
00:59:26
Speaker
And now he and he references it. He's like, i had one of the most successful. I had one of the most successful reality TV shows, one of the most successful TV shows ever. People loved it. People loved it. And it's like, no, they they thought you were an idiot and it was entertainment.
00:59:41
Speaker
Like being successful at being a public entertainer because you were an idiot is not... Like you're bragging about, you don't even know what you're bragging about. Like my dad thought the apprentice was stupid.
00:59:57
Speaker
My parents told me the apprentice, the problem with it was it's unchristian. Oh, you're fired. You're fired. You're making like, you're making a mockery out of these kinds of things of like, that's what they thought was wrong with it.
01:00:11
Speaker
It's not, there's no grace. It's not, you know, there's nothing Christ-like about it. Oh, I i heard that. The things I remember being told that are stupid reality shows that were not reality shows.
Christian Critiques of Reality TV
01:00:24
Speaker
um One was a game show. It was. um my and I'm sure this came from World Magazine to a degree because my parents were avid subscribers, but um The Apprentice, I remember them saying some shit about.
01:00:38
Speaker
ah I feel like they had some problems with Survivor. Yeah. you know, voting people. i don't know. There's a line. There was women in bikinis.
01:00:50
Speaker
That's probably mostly it. And then like, and then the other one was the, that game show, the weakest link. And that was unchristian because that was unchristian.
01:01:01
Speaker
Yeah. Because, you know, the, there Hey, weaker brothers, you know, there's weaker brothers. We're supposed to pull them up and not just get rid of them. Vote them off a game show.
01:01:12
Speaker
But think total sense. also I'm guessing some of the criticism that I'm, I think that I don't think my parents ever saw it or thought about it past what they read about it real quick.
01:01:23
Speaker
Um, I would argue that whoever was writing about it, whoever wrote the thing that they read was probably speaking more to, um the Darwinian concept of the, of,
01:01:38
Speaker
Like it being like, oh, you're the weakest link. um Therefore, was like the missing link kind of concept. Like, oh, it's like survival of the fittest. I feel like it was equated to like the survival of the fittest concept of like, well, if you're not cutting it, you're the weakest link and we're just going to like,
01:01:58
Speaker
just cut you out. And that's, um, I think they looked at it from like that. I think it was given to them all have a meritocracy dad. And it's what this beautiful country is founded on.
Generational Critiques and Resentments
01:02:09
Speaker
It's hilarious because now they love that shit. They eat up meritocracy.
01:02:13
Speaker
Sometimes you're the fittest because you inherit money from your parents. yeah Well, dude, I thought this thing going around. It was like, I'm so sick of these millennials complaining about like, um,
01:02:26
Speaker
It was basically like a student debt kind of thing. ah I'm going to just pull it up real quick because pretty relevant. It was comedic. ah Where is he?
01:02:39
Speaker
I probably won't find it in a meaningful time, so who cares? But.
01:02:48
Speaker
All right. Millennials. says, Millennials quit whining. I paid off $150,000 in student loans and own a $400,000 home because I save.
01:03:00
Speaker
It's not that hard. I make coffee at home. Bus instead of Uber. Shop sales. Had parents pay off my loans and buy me a house because I'm daddy's special boy.
01:03:11
Speaker
Got Hulu with ads.
01:03:16
Speaker
head It's very true. i think... So when we were on our ah company trip that I talked about last week, you know, we, you can't avoid it.
01:03:29
Speaker
Like you, you cannot avoid political discussions. Like they just come up all the time. And like, I find that I can handle them pretty much indefinitely with most people.
01:03:45
Speaker
can't handle them with family members. Yeah. Do that. And hate that about myself. Like I hate that. I can't put it away, but it just makes me furious immediately when they start going off on stuff.
01:03:58
Speaker
And like, that's so common, dude. Don't beat yourself up over that. That's everybody listening right now going, Oh my God, me too. I, yeah, I'm sure it's just, that's me.
01:04:11
Speaker
But I, I, I think the thing that's like so baffling about all that is like these people are so, they're so angry.
01:04:23
Speaker
And it's like, would well, to be fair, I'm pretty pissed, but I hear what you're saying. But I mean, like to be this angry. Yeah. yeah Like if you're, ah if you're a boomer and you own a house and you got money in the bank and you are doing well, like your top 3%, what are you so angry about? Like who took anything from you?
01:04:45
Speaker
you they that's why it' always it's always acts They always act like something was stolen from them, something that was rightfully theirs. or that like Well, they've been with the same company for 30 years that they're about to retire from.
01:04:58
Speaker
Yeah. like yeah that You have to bite every hand because one of those hands might try to like take your wallet. you know and it's like i don't I just don't get what you're so angry. like What are you so upset about that contributes this?
01:05:13
Speaker
contributes Dude, so I i was going to do it for the experience and just to like see what was like, you know but I ended up with tickets to see Kid Rock.
01:05:30
Speaker
Ha ha ha! I need to go. I need that in my life. I need you to do that so I can live vicariously through you. I was going to do it.
01:05:40
Speaker
I was going to just go through with it and sit through with it. When was it? It's it's over like Easter. Oh, so you can still do it. It's not too late. Okay, good. good good Yeah, if if you didn't give the tickets away already, because it's like the company has a box, you know, and and was like, you know what?
01:06:01
Speaker
Other people want to go. I'll go. I'll go. I want to see what it's like. I just want to see what it's like. I want to hear it. I want to be able to take some video and then talk about it. Can your company fly me out for it?
01:06:13
Speaker
That's a plus one. Because I feel like if I could go with you, you'd probably definitely want to go more. If you and I could go together. It would be amazing. I would look forward to it.
01:06:24
Speaker
yeah April was not going to do it. She was like, absolutely not. I hate Kid Rock. I'm not going to do it. Dude, I just want to know if that place is so fucking free that I could jerk off during Ball with the Bob. Because if I can't jerk off during Ball with the Bob, then he's not even... He just doesn't even love America, dude. I don't even know what to say to Kid Rock at that point.
01:06:49
Speaker
So...
The Absurdity of Attending a Kid Rock Concert
01:06:51
Speaker
the discussion around is he so he comes up when we're on the trip but my family member turns on this really funny kid rock song and it is the most obnoxious abrasive like like douchebag MAGA garbage you've ever heard. I don't know what song it was. I mean, I think he's got a couple that are probably like that, but like we played one on the podcast, I think.
01:07:21
Speaker
Yeah. And I don't know if this was the same one or if this is a new one. Like I went through yesterday and tried to find it again, you know, and I was like watching some of his newer music videos and stuff. And oh, my God, dude.
01:07:34
Speaker
Oh, my God. It's so bad. It's It's so bad. I don't get it. like I can't do it. Recent video surfaced of him playing like some nightclub and nobody giving a shit. And he got pissed and told everyone to fuck off. And he just walked off stage.
01:07:53
Speaker
I've heard that it's not a character. I've heard that he's actually that. Yo, he's horrible. He's a terrible person. I want to go so bad. Oh, it couldn't I couldn't go over Easter. I'm going to be on vacation. I'm going to the Outer Banks that week.
01:08:09
Speaker
ah This would be considered a vacation. It would be. your whole family, dude. Bring your kids to ah Kid Rock. Fun for the whole family. Dude, Michigan people, they' so he's Michigan's favorite son. They're so proud of him. That's crazy, dude. He's so dumb.
01:08:26
Speaker
I remember we were at a company retreat thing back when I was still rep up there. He was pretty good in Joe Dirt. I'll hand it to him. I don't remember him and Joe dirt.
01:08:37
Speaker
Oh, is he like the bully at work or something? He was like the, I'm just plain sick of you. Okay. Gotcha. He was, he was kid rocking it. Like there was no, ah that was like the least amount of acting anyone's done in a major motion picture.
01:08:55
Speaker
So he's forever associated in my mind with this one guy that I worked with for a while. who was like middle-aged guy, he wore jean shorts and ah white sneakers.
01:09:08
Speaker
How long did they go past the knees? Oh, like just below the knee. yeah That's perfect. Like right at the knee base. Yeah, yeah. No, that's what Relax fit, lead denim. Yeah. Pretty wide. He's got a t-shirt tucked in. Pretty wide.
01:09:21
Speaker
Right? And then he's always got a hat on that's really tall, like a really tall baseball hat that just makes his head look like an eggplant. Cool. How far up did his socks go? Like shin halfway up the shins?
01:09:33
Speaker
Yeah. About there. So we were at this company retreat. It's at this resort thing in Northern Michigan. Right. And you apparently Kid Rock is playing a show in the town next to this place. It's like Gaylord, Michigan. Right.
01:09:51
Speaker
And, uh, were at this place and we had heard through the grapevine. I can't believe that Kid Rock would play in a place called Gaylord. That's just out of character.
01:10:03
Speaker
He seems too homophobic for even that. Well, so we heard through the grapevine that he was staying at the same resort as us. And like, dude, the place was a buzz, dude. They were just freaking out. Like, go, might get a glimpse of Kid Rock.
01:10:20
Speaker
And this guy and his kids and stuff were going to see him that night. don't what the sound is. I don't know how to explain it or like how you would know if you heard it for sure. But if you wanted to find him, all you have to do is listen to the sound of a stripper's face going through drywall and you would find it. Or like bottle rattle.
01:10:39
Speaker
Yeah. I don't know. I feel like you'd know it if you heard it. You know what i mean? Like, I don't know if you'd like, I can't conceptualize it, but you'd know it if you heard it. Yeah. That's like the white Detroit mating call is just that bottle rattling.
01:10:54
Speaker
so Everybody's like whispering about like, dude, he's staying here. he's He's somewhere in the hotel and stuff. And I remember like this guy, Doug, and his kids are talking and his kids are like, where do you think he is?
01:11:09
Speaker
And Doug goes, well, I don't know, but knowing kid, he's probably at the bar. And like, that's just, it's stuck in my head forever. Cause it was so lame. It hurt.
01:11:22
Speaker
It hurt to hear it. I grimaced. He liked it. He laughed. Did he think he laughed? or Oh, he was serious. He thought it was really cool. Like he's like, yeah, he's probably having a drink in the bar.
01:11:34
Speaker
Oh kid. He calls it a familiarity there. Yeah. He goes, he goes back. He lets me call him kid. That's his first name. He's kid.
01:11:45
Speaker
yeah oh my god i wish we could go to that together i wish we could go to more shitty things together i want to go to mega churches with you ah want to go to carrie underwood concerts want yeah i want to have i wish we had the ability to do that like an all gas no breaks type of thing where we just go to like and creation festivals and oh my god that'd be so fun museum ah Which is, I mean, I've been wanting to go to that since they since they first started. Before it opened, when we were in college and we knew it was going to open, we wanted to go.
01:12:23
Speaker
Why doesn't Ken Ham just, like, fight the Turkish government and go get the the the bones off of ah Mount Arerat or whatever? Arerat. Arerat.
01:12:33
Speaker
ah Such a dork. ah Dan McClellan had a video about somebody talking about that. And he's like, Oh yeah, it's not, it's not a boat. It's just a geographical feature.
01:12:45
Speaker
You freaking knob.
01:12:50
Speaker
His responses are so... though His responses to some people are so funny. Because he's dry and monotone, but he just kind of insults them in a in an academic way.
01:13:04
Speaker
i appreciate it. I appreciate that man so much. Yeah, he's very funny. Well, um you know, we were going to get into the Book of Mormon again, but we're going to let it rest one more week here.
01:13:18
Speaker
ah Because there is a... There's a big section of prophecy coming. And I think you guys are going to be amazed at how accurately Nephi predicts basically the whole the entire New Testament.
01:13:33
Speaker
That's sick, dude. I can't wait. i'm Honestly, I'm hoping that it reignites my faith more than anything. it like i mean I've been in a rut, dude. you know I got a lot going on between...
01:13:46
Speaker
I know I've talked about, but between my house, I'm studying for, I have my comprehensive final exam for my grad program coming up. That's a, it's a written exam. And then I have to do it like a oral defense of it while I'm on fucking vacation.
01:14:01
Speaker
Uh, not loving that. So the next four weeks of my life is just like, you know, just nuts. Uh, and um in a rut.
01:14:11
Speaker
I go through these moments, big life changes, right? I leave my house. I'm at my in-laws. I've been juggling getting my house ready to sell. It's finally going to list in a couple of the little lists by the time this comes out.
01:14:24
Speaker
Um, Between doing that, trying to get my homework. Like, I'm just, I'm tired all the time. I feel that little, like, that depression creeping in, right?
01:14:37
Speaker
ah It's been a while. It's been a while since i've I've come face to face with it so strongly. Maybe two two years now? Two years. It kind of like, that's why I'm like people like, whoa, why don't you talk to your doctor? I go, I don't know. This thing shows up every couple of years and it's like a terrible three months and then it's gone.
01:14:56
Speaker
So I don't really, it feels like I don't really need to, i don't know. I just kind of ride it out. Um, the last two nights I've gotten about five or six hours of sleep because when I go to bed, I spend an hour and a half having like an anxiety attack and then don't sleep but for like, Oh, why it's just sucks.
01:15:13
Speaker
Um, chegi it's, uh, anyway, well, we're going to get through it. Uh, This happens to me whenever huge changes are happening. And there's a lot right now on top of being stressed and busy, I'm displaced. I'm trying to figure out how to buy a house in a market. That's probably going to implode before I can even buy a house. And but my dollars are going to be worth less and less as time goes on.
01:15:36
Speaker
You know, just the fun stuff. Of ah figuring out your shit. But I don't even know why I got on this path other than ah it was related to the Book of Mormon and wanting to find that peace. And if maybe this prophecy can pull me back into the fold, maybe that's what I'm missing.
01:15:52
Speaker
Maybe I need to recommit my life to Christ and all these feelings will go away. Because I do remember... having a conversation with my wife over a decade ago that didn't go great, did not go awesome.
01:16:06
Speaker
ah I was in a horrible spot mentally. And I told her that the problem was, I knew what the problem was. The reason ah that I divulged the information that I just didn't want to be here anymore.
01:16:22
Speaker
Didn't get I left it vague, you know, just didn't want to be here. What that meant was I would drive an hour and a half to work every day and look longingly at the side of the road, sometimes close my eyes and wonder if I just fly off the fucking a highway into a ditch.
01:16:38
Speaker
terrible time in my life, not doing great. Don't worry. This has not happened in well over 10 years. Uh, but it's, uh, I, but don't worry because I was like in that time I told my wife, the only, the problem was i just needed to pray and read my Bible more. So I don't know if that's what got me through it, but maybe in this dark time and this difficult time, it'll be what gets me through it now.
01:17:04
Speaker
Or,
01:17:07
Speaker
Uh, or it won't. And I can just, and then I'll look back on that previous time in my life and just, I can be thankful that, um, that my devotion to God or my concept of that didn't get me killed.
01:17:23
Speaker
you need a firm foundation, brother. i know, but I built my fucking house on the goddamn sand. On Christ the solid rock I stand.
01:17:34
Speaker
He'll take a dump on all my plans. He'll take a dump on all my plans. I like the low. I like that you came back with the low. I appreciate that. It made me feel like I was in church again.
01:17:49
Speaker
For a tiny stout fellow, I kind of have a nice baritone. I can honestly... oh God, dude, you missed your calling in a barbershop quartet because you have that like coming at the end with the baritone low. and but ah man. Red and white striped shirt, dude.
01:18:08
Speaker
If I could have been the fat gather and stood between Mark Lowry and that guy with the long mullet hair. That would have been awesome. A barbershop quartet is always the perfect mix of the four types of men, you know?
01:18:22
Speaker
Yeah. and I could be the George Costanza in that quartet. There are four types of men and they're always in a barbershop quartet, but they're usually clean shaven. So we got to, you know, a beard is, that isn't a factor, not a problem for you, obviously, but like they're not, they're not encapsulating like that bearded, uh, lumber, sexual kind of guy.
01:18:47
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Uh, cherubic cherub. A wee widow cherub.
01:18:57
Speaker
wee widow cherub you are. Well, folks, thank you for listening. And don't you worry, I'll keep a close eye on old Samuel here and make sure he doesn't exact the perfect revenge against his children.
01:19:13
Speaker
Oh, I thought you were going make sure I didn't off myself, which I won't. That's what I'm saying. Oh, that's revenge against my children. Yeah. No, they could. They would enjoy the life insurance policy.
01:19:25
Speaker
i ah I am past the point at which they denied you. yeah I think you have to have a life insurance policy for and it like three years before they let you kill yourself. That way you don't just like.
01:19:37
Speaker
I used to have a daddy, but then he died and we got brand new rip sticks. Yeah. I mean, hoverboards are dope, dude. I think they'd appreciate that. Oh boy.
01:19:52
Speaker
right, folks. mark turn Thank you for listening and we will see you next time.