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EP 48: Shopping For Your Postpartum Body
2k Plays1 year ago
In this week’s episode of Mom Group Chat, we dive into the often-overwhelming experience of shopping for your postpartum body. We discuss the physical and emotional challenges that come with finding clothes that fit, flatter, and make you feel fabulous after giving birth. From practical tips on choosing the right sizes and styles to embracing your new body with confidence, we’ve got you covered. Tune in for an honest conversation filled with personal stories, expert advice, and a few laughs along the way.
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Transcript
Shopping Habits and Holiday Outfits
00:00:07
Speaker
There's no right way to do it. Oh, we're going to get into it. What up my shopaholics? I'm Candace and I'm here with my best friend Whitney and this is the mom group chat podcast. Oh, I am a shopaholic.
00:00:25
Speaker
I shouldn't be my wallet. It doesn't like that, but I am. Well, I was literally texting my friends. I said, someone take my card away from me. If I buy one more 4th of July outfit for my children, I don't know. Like I need, there's not enough days in the week. Okay. Well, you shop for mine and I'll Venmo you because I even bought a single thing for 4th of July and you're, we're going to be together and I want our kids to look cute.
Trip Focus and European Plans
00:00:52
Speaker
I just love that holiday. That.
00:00:55
Speaker
Halloween, Christmas, goodbye, money. Hello, costumes. Hello, red, white and blue. Like, oh my God, I can't frickin stop. And so I know that I would be that way if Europe wasn't happening. Like I'm so laser focused on Europe and shopping for Europe that I, I like, I can't think of anything else.
00:01:20
Speaker
you're gonna come back and start noticing all the 4th of July ads and you're gonna be like, oh no, oh no. I ordered something so unhinged this morning or I think it's, I guess it's not that unhinged, but I ordered the girls matching baby berets for trans.
00:01:42
Speaker
It's so cute. It's so cute. And necessary, truly. Like, I have to, right? Yeah. I have to. Yeah. So Evie turns, she'll be three months, literally the day we leave for our trip. So I need to take her three month photo. And I was hoping to, I was going to bring the card, like my three month card with me and hopefully take it.
00:02:08
Speaker
with me somewhere. And yeah, like in front of the Eiffel Tower with her beret on or something. You should take it like on the plane and say bon voyage, America. Yeah, no, for sure. That's the plan. But yeah, I'm so excited.
Weekend Catch-Up and Shopping Experiences
00:02:26
Speaker
We're this is a special weekend recording episode with Whitney and Candice. It is Sunday evening, Sunday late afternoon.
00:02:36
Speaker
So we thought we'd just do a little weekend catch up. I mean, that's not what this full episode is about. It's about shopping. We'll get there. But Whitney, how is your weekend going? Well. Saturday was like a little tough, but I had a good turnaround, so I can say.
00:02:55
Speaker
Saturday started out rough. I was, I'm also like on my period. So I feel like I'm in my feels a little bit. I hadn't had a good cry in a long time. Like I've felt like I've hit my stride and then man Saturday was just like
00:03:11
Speaker
BAM! I just bawled my eyes out before me. Oh no, why?
Emotional Parenting Challenges
00:03:17
Speaker
I don't know. I just, it was Welles Graydon's last soccer and like he just doesn't listen and so I see all the other kids standing there with their parents listening and yeah some of them like run off and kind of goof around a little bit here and there but
00:03:34
Speaker
For the most part, they're like listening and great and just like a wild animal. He's the kid that's like down at the other end of the fence. He's the one that's like one time he took off and ran into the parking lot. And I'm like, OK, he knows not to be on the frickin road. Like he just doesn't listen. It's like there's listening games. He's not into that. But when they like let him loose to score a goal,
00:03:59
Speaker
Boom. Amazing. I mean, I saw your Instagram video. The guy has a cannon. He does. He's he's good. So it's like.
00:04:08
Speaker
I don't know. Chris and I were saying like, at any point we're ready to like pull him and be like, we're going home. Like you have this tug. Like I can't take this anymore. I can't take this anymore. And then he does something cute and you're like, okay, calm down, calm down, calm down. Like we're not leaving. We're fine. So it's just like that for 30 full minutes. And then they got the medals at the end and he was so proud, but it's just like, wow. Did I sign him up too early for soccer or?
00:04:37
Speaker
Is that just, I don't know, because he does great at swim, but we're not involved. He's with the teacher. So he does good. I don't know, but it sucked the life out of me. I'll just tell you that it does every, it's at 8am and the life is gone.
00:04:56
Speaker
And my cousin graduated from college. And so we were going to go to Clarksville. I was back and forth all day. I was like, I'm not going like I'm not going. I was in such a bad mood.
00:05:09
Speaker
we ended up going. Chris was like, I'm not going to sit here and let you be a sour puss in like pout all day. So I was like, okay, bring it out, bring it out. We get there and he's so nice to my parents. So loving, so sweet. My mom's like, I don't know what you're talking about. He's why is that happened? Like it happened to me too. My kids are so, I mean, Evie's an angel baby from Sun from above, but Alice,
00:05:36
Speaker
She is worse with me than with anyone else. I just don't know what you're talking about. He's being so good. I was like, no, he's not.
00:05:44
Speaker
He's not, but then he was so good at the party. Like my aunt Diane was like, your kids are so sweet and so good. And I was like, okay, soccer this morning. I was like, I was like, Oh, thank God. Like Grayden pretended to be good at the party, but he was so sweet. And like, there's other little kids. So he had so much fun. And I was like,
00:06:07
Speaker
I'm so glad we went because it like turned around my day and I got to witness him having so much fun with other little kids. And I was like, I think I just needed to get him out of the house. Like we've been here like two or three weeks in a row. It was like he was feeling like I, I don't know, like needed to break out. So I'm glad we went. We're back home now, but yeah, how about you? Um,
00:06:34
Speaker
We had a good weekend.
Relationship Stress and Relaxation Moments
00:06:36
Speaker
Saturday morning was off, was also off to a touchy start for us. Um, we, so my husband went to a raised baseball game on, um, Friday night, which is fine. He does. He's a big sports guy. He loves to go. He's a big Tampa sports guy. So he likes to go to like raise games, bucks games, whatever. So we went to a raised game.
00:07:03
Speaker
Friday evening and like, you know, had multiple beers. He stayed out till like 11 30 and came home and then Saturday morning he just woke up in a pissy mood like he just and it's no one's fault except for him like he it's not like he was like wasted or anything but he definitely woke up with like a baby hangover and just feeling tired and worn out because he went straight from work to this baseball game where there was like
00:07:30
Speaker
lots of overstimulation and walking and like, you know,
00:07:33
Speaker
And he was just in a grouchy mood Saturday morning, which led to a fight. He loves that for us. About Europe, because that is all we fight about these days. It's just a lot, guys, to take kids to Europe. And I wish that we could be those chill parents. I just are like, it's going to be fine. And it is going to be fine, but we're not chill about it. We're just not. We're petrified. We're stressed. We're ready for it to be over with.
00:08:02
Speaker
Honestly, definitely the anxiety leading up to it. It's almost the only thing I can compare it to is like daycare. The first time you drop your kid off at daycare, it's like the anxiety leading up to it is not as bad as the day. Like if you break down the day of daycare, it's like, OK, well, she's going to nap like an hour after she's there for two. Well, however long. But if you break the day down, you're like, all right, it's not.
00:08:28
Speaker
that bad, but it is scary leading up to it. Yeah. We're scared. Um, and it leads to a fight every time, uh, because it just seems like more things to pay for. Just keep popping up and then, uh,
00:08:44
Speaker
new Amazon packages get delivered to my doorstep, which leads to a, what is this? What else do we need? And I'm like, so much. Okay. We need so much. That's like, honestly, that, that is a hilarious call back because it's like that thing was unnecessary. But I'm talking about like all of the voltage, like converters.
00:09:11
Speaker
And I'm like, Do you know how much shit we have to plug in while we're there between the kids stuff and their sound machines and like, where we decided we're bringing a monitor because at the wedding at the chateau, it would be so nice to put them to bed and still be able to enjoy the wedding will be less than like 1000 feet away or whatever. So we decided we're bringing a monitor but in order for the monitors to work in Europe, we need a
00:09:37
Speaker
portable, what's it called? It's like a portable router. Remember when we went to Tahoe and the internet, I found the hack for it. And it's you buy a portable router, which they're not expensive. They're like 30, 40 bucks. And we'll be able to use it forever. So the next time we go on a trip together, we can all use it. But we bring it and it will
00:10:02
Speaker
You connect the Nana to the route, to your portable router that's connected to the wifi and not actual wifi. So anyways, we're, so I decided we're bringing the Nana. So all this stuff. Men never think about, and I'm not going to, sorry, I feel like we're going on the whole Europe tangent again. Anyways, there's, there's a lot to fight about leading up to the trip and I'm so ready for it to be over with honestly.
00:10:23
Speaker
We did turn it around. We took the girls to the zoo, um, Saturday morning, which honestly is a second home for us now. If you are in the Tampa area and you don't have a zoo pass, what are you doing? It is so worth every penny. Um, she got to play in the splash pad area and we spent the morning at the zoo. And then in the afternoon, we, um, we asked my in-laws to take both girls for a couple hours, just so we could like,
00:10:52
Speaker
catch up on some house things. I could grocery shop for the week. We just wanted a couple like no kid hours. And I sent Whitney a voice note about this, but our Publix has a bar in it. And I got a beer, an ice cold beer, draft beer, and grocery shopped in peace. And I took my time, I strolled through the aisles and enjoyed my beer while grocery shopping.
00:11:17
Speaker
And honestly, when I left, it changed my day. I was in the best mood ever. And I was like, this is the best part of my day right here. And I think I'm going to start making it a weekend ritual of like, I need an hour and a half to grocery shop and I'm going to go and get myself a beverage. They also have wine. I normally would get that, but.
00:11:39
Speaker
That's so fun, actually. So nice and pleasant. Yeah. And then today, Sunday, we went we drove to Sarasota to go to a one of my college friends kids birthday party is to go to Mayo. It was first fiestas his first birthday. Super cute. But we got to be in the sun and in the pool and we got to eat some Mexican food and have some margaritas. So it was good.
00:12:06
Speaker
Turned around. We turned it around for sure.
Postpartum Shopping Anxiety and Body Positivity
00:12:09
Speaker
I know. And I don't know. Sometimes weekends are just like.
00:12:14
Speaker
a lot and Monday is like a breath of fresh air. I was going to say Monday is my new weekend on Friday scaries now. For sure. Me too. Me too. It's like it's like a double edged sword. It's because like Chris like comes in and he can help. But then it's like I lost my child care. The person that like that's their job is they have to take care of the kids. So it's like, oh man, I have to do everything.
00:12:43
Speaker
Yeah. It sounds so bad, but. All in all, the breaks are needed. Yeah. Monday is a break. It just is like. Yeah. It's the reality of it. Yeah. Well, you know, happy. Well, then basically this is Sunday. So this is basically like our today's our Friday. It's our Thursday junior or Friday junior or whatever. Yeah, I love that.
00:13:13
Speaker
Well, today's episode, so we've talked, we've done a lot of talk about body image and stuff on this show. And I know when we did that episode, we talked about like the layer of that, of body image that is kind of hard to deal with as the shopping and like clothes of it all and like shopping for this new body.
00:13:35
Speaker
And Whitney and I have had to do a lot of shopping recently for our trips. And I feel like we both have had experiences with shopping and shopping for our postpartum bodies in the past couple of months. So we just kind of wanted to do an episode talking about our experiences and how we felt and what we liked, what we didn't like, maybe share some like
00:14:00
Speaker
where we shops, that sort of thing. Um, and also maybe we're going to share some of our favorite, like influencers that kind of help us shop for these postpartum bodies and give, you know, great options. Like don't get me wrong. Do I love following Kendall Jenner? Yes. Do any of the clothes she wears like work for me? No. So, um, it's really nice to like follow people and,
00:14:29
Speaker
have some inspiration that like is more like fitted for your body and for people who are actually real postpartum moms. So so true because yeah it's been hard and yeah
00:14:45
Speaker
I mean, I used to love shopping. I feel like, I mean, I have a closet full of tons of clothes. It's a problem. And before we dive into this, I just, we just want to make a quick disclaimer here, especially because
00:15:01
Speaker
You know our body image episode just came out a couple weeks ago We feel like there's been a lot of talk on this show about our body image And we just wanted to like make a quick disclaimer here to just say that we Wholeheartedly believe that we are beautiful and that our bodies are beautiful and that moms at any size are beautiful and we do realize that we have a
00:15:28
Speaker
had lots of comments and lots of like talk on this show about how we look. And we realized that it's not like our worth is not directly related to how we look. Right. At the same time, like we are number one goal on this show is to be authentic to our experience and to maybe help you guys feel a little bit less alone if there is something you are dealing with here. So
00:15:58
Speaker
It feels authentic to us right now to talk about this like our struggles and how we feel and how like maybe shopping for this current body has been a little bit tough or
00:16:13
Speaker
you know, how maybe we do want to make some changes to our body and not only to look different, but to feel more confident in clothes. So I think the two things can coexist. We truly believe that I, I beautiful, Whitney's beautiful. All of you listening are beautiful and your bodies are perfect the way that they are. And I hope that, I hope that nothing that we've said in the past about like looking skinny or like,
00:16:43
Speaker
Some of it also is just like we're joking, but I don't know. We just wanted to make that disclaimer before we jump into this topic because we do know that like everyone's on a different journey with their body image and self-confidence. And this is just where we're at right now. Um, and it doesn't mean that if you look different than how
00:17:05
Speaker
we look or whatever, like you are perfect the way you are. And whatever journey you're on is your journey. And we're here for all of it. So thank you for saying that. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we're out here trying. And yeah, a lot of times we are jokey and we just say kind of off the cuff things. But like she said, I feel like I know my potential and I know that I'm not exactly where I want to be. And so if I talk about it, it's not in any way saying that someone else doesn't look
00:17:35
Speaker
their best or whatever. It's more so just about myself. And Candice is my sounding board. And honestly, sometimes I feel like I'm just talking to you, but I do know that we have listeners out there. So just know that we're trying. Right. And I think one of the most amazing things about clothing is that it can change your mood and it can form with your confidence and sometimes just buy new clothes or
00:18:04
Speaker
finding a cute outfit can totally change how I show up as a mom. That sounds crazy, but it's true. If I'm in a cute outfit and I feel good and I feel pretty and I feel confident, I show up as a better mom. And I go into social experiences a different person. I show up more confidently. We shouldn't overlook that as a
00:18:31
Speaker
a variable in our body image. Like it's true. The way we look in clothes impacts how we show up. Yes. Correct. True. So tell me where, tell me what you've got. Is this all like Europe clothes that you've bought or? So I've tried to kind of, um, buy things that
00:18:57
Speaker
A, I can use in Europe, but also that I can use after the fact and in, you know, after Europe and can wear for months to come. It is colder in Europe than it is here. It's still like in the 50s, 60s. So obviously it is 90 degrees here already. So I tried to buy lots of like layering pieces so that I could wear them like outside of Europe.
00:19:27
Speaker
But I've also just in this journey of shopping, I'm like, I'm already shopping, I might as well also think about like outside of Europe, and I've tried to shop for my current body instead of like, I feel like I spent, I've spent too much time with all these clothes in my closet.
00:19:43
Speaker
Like I'm going to get back into them. I want to fit back into them. And really like when I pull those out and when I did my big closet purge a couple of weeks ago, I pulled them out and I'm like, I'm waiting to fit into this. I don't even like this anymore. Like I don't even want to wear it. Yeah. So.
00:20:01
Speaker
My, honestly, if I had to just like encompass my whole shopping experience into one thought, it's that I want to buy things that I want to wear, like that I am longing to put on my body. And that's just been my mindset, honestly. Perfect. That's it.
00:20:19
Speaker
Yeah, I know I feel like my well, I haven't going on a trip too. So yeah. And I feel like when I did this little shopping thing, it's like I've been wanting to I haven't gone just because.
00:20:35
Speaker
I don't know. I haven't had the desire. Like I, I'm way more focused on buying little kid clothes. I'm way more focused on buying things for my house. Like I really haven't had the bug to shop. Like nothing's like spark my fancy, but I knew we had this episode coming out. So I was like, man, I gotta do research. Like what a great excuse. Like I want to go shopping. I have an excuse. And also Chris encouraged you to remember if you, if you listen to her body image, he was like, you need to buy some clothes that you like.
00:21:05
Speaker
So I mean, I don't know. I had an idea in my head of outfits that I felt like I've seen other moms wearing postpartum. So that's what I was going for was like the jean shorts with the tucked in tank top with like a button down and like, oh, I'm casual but fun and I can wear my cute like sneakers with this and
00:21:27
Speaker
I would say like my experience was a zero out of 10, like for real. And you know why, I figured out why, is because that's not what I wear.
00:21:42
Speaker
I was trying to fit into a mold of what I thought I would wear. When I tell you people I've never owned a pair of jean shorts in my life, why am I shopping for them now when I don't feel my most confident?
00:22:00
Speaker
I've never liked them. I've never worn them. What makes me think I should wear them now? So, I mean, I did end up buying a pair. Well, we'll get to that. I did end up buying a pair just because I felt like, okay, it's a staple. People need fucking jean shorts. Okay, I'm going to get them. But I was trying to fit in a mold.
00:22:21
Speaker
that I'm not comfortable in. And I never was. And it just like, I don't know, it rained on my parade. I was like, why did I do that? I like dresses. I like flowy tops. I like leggings. Like, what am I doing? So I was like,
00:22:37
Speaker
I just need a break from that shopping experience and I'm going to go back to what I know and that's by cute fricking dresses. And I don't care if people see my hoo-ha if I have to bend over to wipe green's nose or something. Like I'll wear biker shorts underneath it. Like for sure. Done. It's, it's exactly what I said about like
00:23:01
Speaker
a second ago about just buying stuff that I want to put on. You're not, if you're in your closet and you're like, what the hell am I going to wear today? If you don't like denim shorts or feel confident, you're not going to reach for them. No. So why force it? You know, I don't know. I don't know what I was freaking thinking. I thought I'd be cute and casual and throw on a t-shirt and shorts.
00:23:25
Speaker
Well, I know what you're thinking because we're on the same Instagram algorithm. Okay. It's all of these moms. Like there is a whole culture of like casual mom outfit Instagram. I feel like, and it's like matching sets or denim shorts and a tank top and a button down with a cute baseball hat. Like I'm sporty and cool. No, I'm not. And every time.
00:23:54
Speaker
sometimes I wouldn't say every time because some some of those outfits I'm like, great, like I bought a pair of overalls that I like love and I feel like I'm a cool like mom, like it's one of my mom outfits. But a lot of the time I put on those outfits and I'm like, I this isn't me like, not I'm trying to fit myself into this like Instagram mom box. And I don't belong here. Or, you know, so I think it's
00:24:24
Speaker
It's also another part of this whole shopping thing is like, what is my mom's style? Like finding your sense of style again is a whole journey in itself. Like you got to find your vibe, I guess, and find your style. And I think it takes a lot more trial and error than people realize, um, to kind of find that after you have a baby.
00:24:51
Speaker
I know it's kind of, it's hard whenever you used to go in the dressing room and like you knew your size and you're like, boom, throw that on like, cool, like this looks good.
Post-Baby Size and Style Challenges
00:25:01
Speaker
And like for you not to know what your size is exactly right now. And so you pick up two sizes and then the smaller one's too small and you're just like, oh fuck, like I didn't realize. And so then you're just trying on all these things. And then you're just like, well, does this work? I don't know.
00:25:18
Speaker
It was just a lot of limbo. I left sweat and I was like, I tried. Where did you go? Tell us where you went. I went to the Green Hills Mall and so I just popped into Nordstrom, did a lap.
00:25:32
Speaker
And then I went to Abercrombie because so many people recommended Abercrombie for just like basics. And so many people recommended Madewell. So I popped into those three. I actually liked Madewell's shorts better. They fit better. But I bought the Abercrombie shorts just because
00:25:55
Speaker
I don't know. I liked the fit of them, but I liked the Madewell ones better. None of them gave me a great shape. I think that was the issue. They were all high-waisted. They were all mom shorts. Some of them just looked either too baggy because the size was too big in places. I just looked like a box. I was like, where's my shape? I'm a curvy woman. I have a big butt, big legs. I was just like,
00:26:23
Speaker
They're either too big or they were too tight. It was a weird, I'm in a weird in between right now. I totally get you. And I think I texted you this when I was shopping was like, I feel like I have lost my shape. Like, and I know I try, I'm going to give myself grace here. Like I just had a baby three months ago. So I'm, I know I'm still, and same with you, like we're still figuring it out, but
00:26:49
Speaker
I have always had big boobs and like hips and a butt and the middle part of me has always been like the smallest. I've always had a true like hourglass shape. And the middle of me is not an hourglass anymore. And it just is what it is. Like it looks different than it used to. And so part of what's happening for me is that it's not even about the size. It's about that I'm having to totally reconstruct
00:27:19
Speaker
what I think looks good on my body when I'm shopping. I'm so used to the things I would choose now don't look good on this version of me. So I'm having to reprogram the silhouettes, the silhouettes that look good on me or the fits that look good. And that's been challenging to reprogram. Also, I turned to the side in the dressing room in Abercrombie when I was trying to
00:27:46
Speaker
turn on jeans. I took a photo I'll share on our Instagram. It's so scary. But I have no butt anymore. It's completely flat. And I have always had a bubble, but OK, since I was a gymnast, I have always had a butt. And mine is flat. And so I got to really hit the squats soon because I need to reconstruct my glutes. Mine's still there, but it's like, wait, I feel like my legs connecting to the butt at this point.
00:28:15
Speaker
I'm telling you, I'm flat as a board back there. I also I read this or I saw this TikTok once and I have no idea if this is true. So you'll have to look this up on your own, everyone. But I read that there are hormones in the earth that your body releases while breastfeeding that literally cause your butt to be like to be flat.
00:28:38
Speaker
That sounds fake that I'm saying it out loud. But I'm going to Google it and see. Who knows? Yeah. Anyway, it's yeah, it's just definitely like trying to figure out from like what was easy or maybe it never really was like that easy to try on clothes and all this stuff. It was easier. And so it's exactly what you said. Reprogramming being like, OK, what used to look good now makes me look like a box. So what would make me look
00:29:07
Speaker
what I consider like flattering. So it's just like, it was tough. And like I said, I picked the wrong things. I don't know what I was thinking. I love dressing. I've always been a dress girl and I'm just done. I'm going to stick to what I know. Yeah. Yeah.
00:29:32
Speaker
And one of the most amazing things about fashion and about clothes is that you can always change your mind down the line.
Fashion Fluidity and Wedding Outfit Success
00:29:41
Speaker
You know what I mean? If you get, that truly is one of my favorite parts of, and I'm not even like a fashion girly really, but like I do like clothes and I love that maybe in a year from now, like I could try on a different hat of my style and try that on and it feel good. So.
00:30:02
Speaker
There's always, you know, like if it's if it's not working right now, it doesn't mean that you are never going to wear denim shorts the rest of your life. Well, that's why I bought them. I was like, I was like, you know what? Next year. Yeah. Oh, I feel you. Oh, well. Tell me about where you went. I feel like you had a better experience. You've had a little more trial and error here. I did because I've done like a lot of shopping over the past
00:30:32
Speaker
couple of months. So, um, I'm going to start with the formal dresses because that was an experience. You know, my brother's wedding in France is black tie. Um, and there are three wedding events. So there is a rehearsal dinner, which is cocktail. There is the wedding, which is black tie. And then there's also a brunch the next morning, which is like garden me like sundress attire.
00:31:00
Speaker
And I, this is what I was most petrified about, like more than anything else, because it's like these pictures are going to live forever. My brother's wedding pictures are going to live forever. Like I want to look pretty. I also need to be comfortable. I'm going to be chasing around a two year old and also holding a three month old.
00:31:21
Speaker
during all of this. So there's like, how do I find something that looks good, makes me feel confident, is comfortable enough for me to chase around a toddler doesn't make my boobs look like I'm like Pamela Anderson, you know, like it's just really
00:31:38
Speaker
hard to find like tick all of those boxes and I also waited until the last as Like last minute as possible because I wanted to try and like feel as confident as possible getting further away from that like birth, you know, yeah, so But I actually had an amazing experience and that is at Dillard's honestly and
00:32:02
Speaker
They just have such a selection of dresses. It was crazy. Like they had so many options. And I went buck wild. I just pulled anything that I remotely thought would look good. And I just had to accept that I was going to be in there for an hour. And I was going to sweat my ass off getting in and out of these dresses because it's like a fucking word. I was sweating by the time I left.
00:32:24
Speaker
So and I just needed to be okay with that. Like I was going to throw spaghetti at a wall and see what sticks. And I ended up finding two beautiful, amazing dresses. Um, one that's like cocktail. It's actually the most flattering dress I've ever put on my body. I'm not kidding. Like I haven't even sent you a picture. I'm talking about the pink one. You haven't seen it. I liked the other one. I know my dress for the rehearsal is this like hot pink dress, but it is
00:32:53
Speaker
kind of like haltery, which looks good on my body. I knew that my wedding dress was kind of haltery because I have broad shoulders and
00:33:02
Speaker
big boobs. So, um, but, and it has like a drape in front of my, like it kind of drapey thing happening in front of my stomach. So it like totally hot. It's tight, but it has a drape. I don't know how to, I'll have to post a picture of it, but I'm not kidding. It's the most flattering dress I've ever put on my body. And so I got really lucky with that. And I tried Nordstrom Nordstrom near me, like the,
00:33:30
Speaker
I cannot tell you they barely carried anything in a size 12. Like I, right now with my boobs and my current body, like I'm a size 12, sometimes even a 14, if it's like small in the boobs and I, the Nordstrom here like barely carried anything. Could I have anything? Yeah.
00:33:54
Speaker
Could I order it online? Yeah. But then I have to spend thousands of dollars ordering a bunch of options to have them shipped to me. And then I have to go through all the trouble of returning it all and all of that.
00:34:06
Speaker
So Dillard's it was. And you know what? I had an amazing experience. They have cute stuff. They have like kids clothes. Oh, my gosh. I didn't even look through that. But so, yeah, I had an amazing experience there. And I like I was feeling real confident after that. I was like, wow, I got two of my dresses in one go. Like, let's fucking go. Yeah. Let's you know. Yeah.
00:34:28
Speaker
And then I needed to shop for more casual things. I went on a jeans journey, which honestly I still haven't found the one.
Frustration with Fashion Trends
00:34:41
Speaker
I am a jeans girl. I feel most comfortable in jeans. I'm a jeans girl.
00:34:48
Speaker
However, everyone raves about Abercrombie. I spent an hour at Abercrombie trying on everything. And my biggest takeaway is that their sizing is so fucking weird. One size, I would be a 31 in one size and a 34 in another pair. But I'm like, it just doesn't
00:35:09
Speaker
Yeah, any sense. Like, yeah, nothing else. Everyone was like Abercrombie curve love, which is what I bought. But I was like, man, not feeling the curve. I also like, okay, we need to have a talk about the current style of jeans that is in. Don't get me wrong. I'm not, I'm not over here like
00:35:33
Speaker
wishing for skinny jeans or anything. But the big wide leg jeans that are in style right now,
00:35:43
Speaker
Are there any moms that love them? I just need to know like because they look they make me look so crazy and so big. I do not. I do not get it. I don't. I haven't even attempted to tell you the truth. So I couldn't tell you. But I feel like it's very. Teenagerie.
00:36:04
Speaker
Yeah, it's just I'm not going to be on trend. I'm sorry. Yeah. And then I tried at Abercrombie. I tried on all the straight leg options and I just couldn't find something that I liked that I looked good in. To be honest, did I find things that zipped and fit? Yeah. But was I like, do I want to put these on again? And the answer was no. So I didn't buy anything at Abercrombie.
00:36:28
Speaker
I also tried on a couple like tops and dresses and different things. And to be honest, I, it was kind of the same situation with sizing. Like I, I pulled these pants at an extra large and they, I was like swimming in them. They were huge on me. And then I had a skirt in a large that was so tight. It wasn't even close to buttoning, but if I got the extra large, it was like too big. It was like, nothing made sense. Yeah. Um, so.
00:36:56
Speaker
I didn't have lots of luck there. And then I had one big Amazon order of lots of like influencer recommendation type things, things that you see on Instagram. And it was a huge fail. I texted Whitney about it. That was like, Oh my God, every literally every I kept like one thing from the order. That being said, I did another big Amazon order like a week ago.
00:37:24
Speaker
It's actually all hanging right there because it's all stuff I have to pack for Europe. And I was actually going to film a video of me putting it all on of like everything I'm packing for Europe. And I had an amazing order that time. Like I kept almost everything and it was like actually cute.
00:37:44
Speaker
I don't know. I mean, overall my experience is that like you do kind of have to try it a bunch of different stuff on and throw spaghetti at a wall and understand that a lot of stuff's not going to fit and you have to let it like roll off of you and be like, it's fine moving on. Because if you get too hung up on all the things that don't work, you're, you're literally destined for sadness. Exactly.
00:38:09
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. Um, I need to do it again. And I've also like, why did I go to the mall? I don't I was gonna say I was I literally was gonna say that earlier is like, you have always had amazing style and you still do. But when I think about where you shop, like you're a boutique girlie. And I go to the mall.
00:38:32
Speaker
Yeah. How am I doing? You are. You always have these like unique dresses and tops, but they're not from the mall. They're not. No. And like I wouldn't even like I don't associate you with like Nordstrom or like you shop at Boutique. I feel like you're more of a like curator of like you invest in like cool, unique pieces and you always have amazing outfits. But you're not like a basic girl kind of.
00:39:02
Speaker
You know? Yep. I just had an epiphany. What? You nailed it. Like I, I just like, I need to just shop what I like on Tucker Knuck and all that. Like I'm done. Yeah. I just need to make an order and you're making order. Uh-huh. Okay. And that's what's going to make you feel more. It will. Yeah. Like that's you. All right. Well,
00:39:31
Speaker
I will. I just felt like I wanted that in-person experience. And I don't know, the boutiques in Nashville are so spread out. It's like, okay, what am I going to do? Drive around town to all the different boutiques and try on all the fucking things? No. Yeah. That's a whole other layer to this is like the time it takes. Like, do you know how much time I've spent shopping for Europe? A lot. Yeah. A lot.
00:39:57
Speaker
We don't have time. I've actually genuinely thought about looking into if there are like personal stylists for moms. Well, I thought about Nuuly for you because you've had good success with it. Hold on. I did want to touch on Nuuly. Okay. Sure.
00:40:15
Speaker
newly is like my best friend. I actually have a brand new newly order that I all the stuff I ordered to take to Europe it's sitting I haven't tried any of it on yet. But it is such a good service and has such good stuff. And is a great way to kind of like test things for your style. Like you talked about I still am trying to figure out what the fuck that looks like for me in this postpartum era. It's a great way to try things on.
00:40:40
Speaker
like literally and figuratively, like try on different styles of things. And I feel like it's helped me learn more about what works on my body. Truly. So truly newly.
00:40:53
Speaker
Try a Nuuly. I need to. I feel like that would be or that would be a good idea for Rhode Island. Yeah. So maybe I'll sign up. They have a lot of stuff, too. I genuinely have this thought when I am scrolling through what's available on Nuuly. I've literally been like, oh, Whitney would love that. Like they have some interesting, like cool dresses and stuff. I know I've seen I keep getting ads and it's like,
00:41:20
Speaker
I don't know, last year's farm Rio dress that I loved and I like never bought. And I was like, Ooh, that'd be fun to like try on, you know, for sure. So yeah, newly is definitely a great option. And highly and honestly, I highly recommend it when you're pregnant, too. If you're trying to find your if you're trying to find some cute outfits for when you're pregnant, newly is definitely the way to go. They have some really great maternity things on there.
00:41:49
Speaker
Well, so tell me what influencers like inspired you for some of these screenshots, these outfits.
Influencer Inspiration for Postpartum Style
00:41:57
Speaker
Okay. One of my all time favorite style influencers is Nina Kavegiola. I know very, but, but her handle is, um, Balkanina, which I feel like people will.
00:42:13
Speaker
If you follow her, I don't know. She has 550,000 followers. She's also the host of the Mama Knows podcast. So I feel like some of our listeners may know her. She has her own podcast and we are a podcast that supports other podcasts. She is truly one of my all time favorite influencers in her bio. It says momhood and mid-sized style. So her, I just relate to her like
00:42:42
Speaker
body so much like her I feel like when I look at her body, I'm like, that's kind of like what my body looks like. Yeah, I mean, yeah, so it's so nice to shop alongside someone who is also shopping like for a postpartum body. But she has great style. I feel like she is the perfect mix of like, she'll lean into some of the trends. But a lot of the time she like is a more like basic
00:43:12
Speaker
You know, she's not like trendy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I mean. I got you. I got you. So definitely go follow her. She's amazing. And she's someone I shop. Like I shop her stuff a lot. And then the next one is Stephanie Joplin, which her handle is better with Chardonnay. But she is I know I agree. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:43:38
Speaker
And literally in her bio, too, it says midsize affordable outfits on my feed. So she's also serving midsize style. And she has really cute outfits that she posts. Highly recommend her as well. OK, good. Good to know. I don't follow either of them, but I am intrigued. So I'm going to go take a gander after. Yeah, well, we'll we'll post them also in our and tag them in our Instagram stories.
00:44:08
Speaker
Um, Megan Stokes is someone that I follow and she had a baby in September as well. So I feel like we were on the same, like,
00:44:16
Speaker
pregnancy path, like, and she is very, very like Southern. She lives in like South Carolina. So she wears a lot of like swing dresses and like throw on type of dresses that I really relate to. Um, also she has great home content that I'm obsessed with and they're moving. And so they're redoing a whole new house. So she's really fun to follow for me. Um, but I feel like we have similar style and while she's
00:44:46
Speaker
probably definitely smaller than me. She's still postpartum and she's dressing for her postpartum body the way that I would. So I really love following Megan Stokes. I'm looking at her now. She's super cute and very, very Whitney. It's really like Whitney and I have different senses of style, which is, which is fun though. Like, yeah, I don't know. It's different. Yeah. Yeah. I used to like borrow all your clothes all the time though. So.
00:45:15
Speaker
I mean, yeah, I would do the same to you also. And then obviously my other favorite, favorite person to follow is Skinny Hangover, Olivia, who we've had on the podcast. She just has affordable postpartum style as well. And while we might not have the same body type,
00:45:36
Speaker
I know things that she posts that I know would look good on me. And I appreciate her trying on everything. And she's also another person in the big boob camp. So definitely more relatable to Candace in that way. But I just appreciate someone that can find and curate all that stuff so that I don't have to. And I can be like, oh, OK, yeah, I'm going to order that because I need that. Yeah.
00:46:01
Speaker
She's always in my, like I order a lot of stuff that she posts for sure. She's, I love that she's also a big boob girly like me. So I'm like, okay, if she can wear it. And she's also great. Like she always responds to my DMS. If I ask a question, I'm like, how is that on the boobs or like, whatever. She's always so responsive, which is so nice. She's so nice. Yeah. And then I would say like,
00:46:28
Speaker
Something that I did for my mental health with shopping is I do try to focus on the people that have similar body types to me.
00:46:41
Speaker
if I was always following like Emily Ratajowski or whatever, like, I would feel bad about myself all the time. It's like the it's been so game changing for me to see other moms and women with similar body types as me look cute and cute outfits and be like, Oh my god, I could wear that. And yeah, I would feel cute. So I encourage you to start to
00:47:06
Speaker
like if you're stuck in the like, damn, I can't wear what I used to, or I don't know my sense of style, start to like, branch out a little bit and follow some people that have different body types. And I think it might change your view of things. Agreed. And yeah, don't be like me and just shop once and think it was a fail. Like I I've figured out
00:47:29
Speaker
what I did wrong and I'm ready to shop for what I like. Okay, well then we're going to need an update. We're going to need a part two of this. I mean, we won't do a whole part two, but we'll do an update whenever you're done shopping. Maybe before this episode comes out, I'll have some new clothes and I'll take some pics and be like, this is what works for me. Perfect. That would be great. Okay, good. Yeah. Well, I was also going to
00:47:56
Speaker
ask the audience like where else should we be looking because like I feel like I always I feel like I default to Amazon a lot because it gets here quick. It's easy returns. I know the process of returning and it's like also so easily linked to like influencers and stuff. I shop a lot at like Nordstrom. I did go into a ritzy for the first time but I didn't try anything on because I just
00:48:26
Speaker
lost the fire in me, you know? But I, I'm curious of like, where do you shop that you feel like isn't made for tiny, teeny boppers and has like cute things. I would love for people to drop their favorite places to shop. We'll post a question box in our Instagram stories. Please share, please share the wealth and let us know where you like to shop. And send pics.
Future Shopping Success Plans
00:48:52
Speaker
I like inspo. Yeah, definitely.
00:48:56
Speaker
Oh, we actually had a thread of that in. Oh, we did. And it was so helpful. Someone was like, Hey, in today's episode, you talked about like sharing cute outfits. Can we have a cute outfit thread? And so people started to post like the outfits that they felt good in or cute outfits. And it was so helpful. And really sparked some ideas for me. So we should do that again.
00:49:19
Speaker
Like, even just the cute jean jacket over a dress that maybe I didn't feel confident about my arms. I was like, why didn't I frickin' even think of that? Like, hello? Like, so easy. Yeah. Amazing.
00:49:33
Speaker
All right. Well, happy shopping and, um, we're going to share our friends. We're getting there. We're getting there. So like I said earlier, we can always change. Like I think it's so much better to shop for the body you're in currently instead of this like dream body that you think you might have one day. So shop for what makes you feel good right now. And.
00:49:55
Speaker
There's always time to change. Like if you want to try on something new or you want to change your body and buy new clothes for that body in the future, you can, but do, do what feels good right now. Do what you gotta do. Love you.
00:50:13
Speaker
All right. Love you guys. Bye. Thank you so much for being a part of our mom group chat. New episodes drop every Tuesday. And don't forget the group chat is blowing up on our Instagram page. So make sure you're following along over there. All right. Got to go. My toddler just put something in her mouth.