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EP 54: MEET THE DADS!
1.5k Plays2 months ago
In this special episode of Mom Group Chat, we’re shaking things up! Our husbands join us on the show to dive into all things dad life. From the highs and lows of fatherhood to sharing their unique perspectives, this episode is packed with insights and laughs. We also tackle a ton of listener questions, covering everything from sharing the mental load to sex after baby. Tune in for an engaging and heartwarming conversation that you won’t want to miss!
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Transcript
00:00:07
Speaker
There's no right way to do it.
00:00:11
Speaker
Oh, we're gonna get into it. What up moms and dads. My name is Candace and I'm here with my best friend Whitney and our amazing husbands. And this is the mom group chat podcast. Welcome, welcome. So exciting. We're excited. I'm thrilled to be here. Oh, wow welcome guys. So nice to see you. How are we feeling? Like what what emotions are we feeling? Anxiety.
00:00:40
Speaker
Don't be nervous. It's just us. Poker friends like me. Okay. Desperado here. Vinny, how are you feeling? Just happy to be here. Vinny's with their media training. Oh, oh, it's like just happy to be here. ah Okay. Well, okay. So we have obviously Chris, my husband here and Vinny. So let's introduce them. Chris, tell me a little bit about yourself. Well, my name is Chris. I married to you dad to Margo and Graydon.
00:01:11
Speaker
All right. um Yeah. All right. Vincent. i'm Vincent. Vinny Vince. Donnelly. Mary Decandis. We've got two beautiful um daughters, Alice and Evelyn, or Evie, and two French Bulldogs, Josie and Finn, down here in Tampa, Florida. There we are. Yeah. Well, you're live in Tampa in Tampa altogether. We've had a fun little weekend so far. Yes. um But been looking forward to recording with our husbands today. And we got a lot of fun questions from the audience, which thank you for submitting. They're hilarious. but And so and really good questions, too. Are you all nervous at all? No. No. Chris already said he had anxiety.
00:01:58
Speaker
It changed. Oh, he's back. He's fine now. We are having a beverage, you know, as we I took a sip of my drink. OK, good. other So he's fine now. Good, good, good. OK, the first question we have from you comes from some of our listeners, but also from us. And it is, do you listen to the podcast every Tuesday? Do you? He really does. On my way to work and home. Oh, my gosh. And sometimes on the way to work the next day, depending on how long the episode is. Yeah. Hey, Vinny. me I'm hit or miss. Wow. An unsupportive husband. I'm just kidding. Which is probably good. hey I pick and choose my yeah episode. So what makes you want to listen to an episode?
00:02:42
Speaker
I mean, you and I usually talk about what the topic's going to be. And based off of that, I decide whether I'm going to listen. in in i I don't know. it It gets really surly Tuesday morning, I think, on my way to work out. If I want to listen, I'll listen super early. Yeah. like That makes sense. I mean, dads aren't really like our target audience. So like, no pressure. Do you argue more inclined to listen if I tell you I talk about you? Yes, I would agree, though. I'd be like, what the fuck did they say about me? Did you listen to the full Europe episode? I did. i felt I was like, he doesn't want to relive this. i I played some at work yeah did for for your for workersers coworkers. Oh, that's funny. Yeah. And are at our Wednesday community meeting.
00:03:31
Speaker
Great. No wonder they think you're famous. I never said around. and listen So. But I think he did that because they were giving him a lot of shit about taking that trip, about how it was like amazing. They were going to Europe and how like he came back and he was even more exhausted. Yeah. And he was like, they were like, what do you mean? You just you were just in Europe for 10 days. And he was like, no, guys, like it was not not it. So I think he was trying to prove to them that all point proven. I'm grateful for having the opportunity to go to Europe with my kids. But it was hard. zero It was bad circumstances. yeah Yeah. But that's another conversation. Do we want to get into the questions? I feel like the ah the questions are going to cover everything we want to talk about. Yeah. i feel Like we should just dive in. I do too. I feel like the most common question we got was what's your favorite part about being a dad?
00:04:23
Speaker
That is a difficult one. I feel like that could encompass so many things. um My favorite part would probably be to me watching like my two little people grow and develop personalities and like turn into like little humans and kind of like mold them and watch how they grow and yeah their interest. Yeah. I think that is probably the most rewarding and fun thing to watch because when I picture having kids, I don't really, and I think we've talked about this before. I don't really picture like the infancy. Oh yeah. He like skipped right in there. And feeding. I think of like throwing the ball or like, yeah, developing interests along with them and fostering that. Do you see like tea parties or did you only envision that with a boy?
00:05:15
Speaker
um i'm With a boy because we had him first but with Margaret like I'll let her paint my toes i'll have a too party But did you envision that like having her cuz I didn't with green I thought of him only as a baby, but with Margo, I see the Barbies and all that. Interesting. Okay. I see both children as older than babies. um i the The baby phase was just like a part I had to get through. Well, I feel you. Yeah. You guys did not. Two and done. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What about you, Vinny? What's your favorite part?
00:05:51
Speaker
I agree with Chris. I mean, the infant stage is difficult. I feel like y'all are just now coming out. Yeah. Yeah, I know Evie's a good girl. I mean, but with Alice and I feel pretty hopeless, I guess. Like Chris said, seeing them develop and grow is is ah super rewarding. it It's funny because I feel as if and it's quote it's a mentor per se, quote unquote, a mentor.
00:06:27
Speaker
manager kind of role and i I'm kind of learning how to do that in work as well. yeah yeah But different with my daughters, it helps me reshape maybe some things I believed or thought and how I view them differently with a with two girls. so yeah I think of that all the time like you know as like boys growing up you have like this urge to I don't know you think of girls as like I don't know like an object but now that you have daughters are you like oh fuck well I think it's probably a unique perspective for them because living life as a boy obviously like you know what the thoughts are of a boy
00:07:13
Speaker
And that's probably really scary to think about having girls and knowing what young boys like thought. Yeah. Yeah. Raising a girl scares me way more than raising a son. And I keep trying to wrap my head around how to raise like an empowered daughter who's proud of herself and can stick up for herself and doesn't take shit and does it. And like, right if the time comes and she needs to stand up for herself that she can. I'm like, how do I do that? Yeah, I know because I was pretty I was never like super and power. I was just shy and I still am like I never stood up for myself. I always was just like but from my perspective like the male point of view like that's the qualities I want her to have because I'm dealing with life or dealing with the opposite sex. Thank you for Candice.
00:08:05
Speaker
Well, I feel like I've always been a very like confident, like self-assured girl. And I hope, but there are parts of me still that think back to my parents and like what they did. And I'm like, I don't even know if I can pinpoint it. Like, did they do something very specific that like made me that way? Or is it just like innate that I was just like born? Yeah, that way. i To be honest, I see some of that in Alice already. I feel like she's already like confident and like, you know, you ask her who's gorgeous. She says, Alice, like, yes, yes, you are. She's so funny. um And I want her to be that way. Like, I want her to think that she's amazing because I feel like I do think one thing my parents did do right is my parents never put me down ever. They never criticized me, how I looked. They never criticized
00:08:57
Speaker
anything I said or did and not that my parents weren't like constructive with me like in the sense that like they think everything I do is amazing but I think they did a good job of making me confident in my own abilities. Yeah and I don't know my brother's here so he can chime in. But, um, yeah, he's like, nah, Vinny as a girl and dad, you know, with two daughters. Like my first question is, did you ever picture yourself having only girls? No.
00:09:29
Speaker
she see she species And that's tough is it scary? a little, but I don't know. That's something I feel like I live in the present on to an extent. I'm definitely a I'll worry about things in the past. And I mean, every day is a learning experience. So well, and you still might have a boy who knows. But yeah, yeah I everybody knows I would love a boy. Yeah. um He says that even after grade and being a week. So that says a lot.
00:10:05
Speaker
We'll ask you this question again on Sunday yeah when we leave. um Well, your sperm has eyelashes as we. Now I'm embracing girl dad. Yeah, no, you've done a really great job of embracing girl dad life. And I think that you love our girls so much and have been such a you both are great dad. I get i get the opportunity to learn from Alice with Evie. Yeah, totally. Evie is a very good baby. yeah She's so sweet. She's easy. Okay, so on the flip side of that question, I know we went on a couple of tangents, but what's your least favorite thing?
00:10:46
Speaker
about being a dad. My el least favorite thing is probably that you always have to be on. like Unless it's nap time and they're both napping, there's no downtime. and Even when there is downtime, there's like that list in the back of your hand that you think you should be doing. so It's like, do you allow yourself to relax? Or do you do the dishes, pick up all the toys that they just threw out again? Wow. So ah the guys feel the same thing that we do. Totally. There's always that struggle of like resting or be being productive because there's always something on your list to do. I always rest. I'm like team nap. Yeah. Very quick like chaos clean. I call it chaos cleaning where you just run around as fast as possible and just throw things. Yeah.
00:11:36
Speaker
to where it looks tidy, but it's really not. He actually looked after that. Yeah, he could rest. What about you? What's your least favorite thing? Time. Yeah, he's a time guy. What do you mean not enough time with them or? Just not enough time in the day for anything. I think Canvas has talked about maybe on our podcast or personally like about just not ever finishing your to-do list. Yeah. And that's something that's really hard for me to swallow. Yeah. That's hard. Yeah. He also is just a time guy like he like likes control of time and like when we're leaving or when we're or like sketch. He's a big like schedule guy. And, you know, with kids, like it's sometimes unpredictable and things happen and that's that's hard. Mm hmm. Time without Alice and Evie. I mean, during the week, it's it's expected, I guess, if I'm going to work. So.
00:12:37
Speaker
ah see what But I think we live up our weekends pretty well. I mean, we do an activity or two on the weekend and we, I mean, Tampa, Florida is good living. and So yeah, we love Tampa. They're trying to convince us. Chris has been on Zillow. He did not keep teeth convincing. The second we landed, he was looking at real estate. OK, so if you're selling a house here in Tampa, i I just got to be by the water. So yeah, he's a fish. But but I grew up here. So did Candice. Yeah. Yeah, I grew up near the coast. So being landlocked in Tennessee is it's an adjustment. i'm Like the water is so far away. I don't know any different. I've lived near the coast and I mean, we didn't even go to the beach.
00:13:23
Speaker
And there's no survive. Yeah, I feel you. I feel you. I know seafood. I love seafood. Yeah, you're a big seafood guy. Yeah. OK, let's see. All right, Chris, I'm going to ask you a chris specific question. Someone asked what's something you want your son to learn that you didn't learn growing up? A sense of humor. Oh, just kidding. Oh, that was a dis shots fired. JK JK. Um, something that I didn't grow up learning that takes some like retrospection. I mean, my mind immediately goes to maybe sports that I wasn't exposed to growing up, like growing up in a like small rural place. There's a lot of opportunities that you're not really exposed to that you
00:14:12
Speaker
are in like a more developed, prosperous place. So like Vinnie was a swimmer. I never had any exposure to swimming. I never had, we we didn't have a soccer team. We didn't have. also It was football and football. Well, if he went to a small school. So he got to do, you got to do a lot though. He had a lot of opportunity. Yeah. And I think I also want to give my son more experience of diversity and a world experience and seeing other people's points of view, which was not, it just didn't exist. Yeah. If you lived in your Alabama bubble. Yeah. where It was a very small Bama bubble time. Yeah. But honestly, roll time. No, that's a good answer. Yeah. Those are good answers for sure. This was a question that was asked a ton and it is what is your favorite thing about your wives? I'm going to start with Vinny.
00:15:09
Speaker
Just your confidence, you. I agree. Am I married to you? You're my work wife. Oh, you're swag. I mean, you're beautiful inside and out. Oh, thank you. But we've known each other since high school. Yeah, you're swag. What a dope answer. I am swag. It's so true. Oh man, I love that so much. Thank you. Thank you so much. Chris? My favorite thing about... weird is i was like was that the question? I was so caught up in Vinny's answer. He's like, should I answer about Candace too? Actually, I knew Candace first. Anyway.
00:15:55
Speaker
um I would say my favorite constant about wit is her sense of humor and personality. You know, that's and my favorite compliment. Her head is ballooning as we speak. So I try not to give that compliment except like once every six months. No, you're so funny. And every all of our listeners know it. They're always like dying over Whitney. I mean, and you've seen rich daddy, poor daddy. And that singing voice, I mean, trapped me. Okay, really? I sometimes wake up with that in my head. like It just lives to talk yourself. With signing napkins over here. Okay, we're talking to him. It's funny. i mean i I've known Candace since high school i and I met Whitney in- Spring break. Spring break 2011.
00:16:45
Speaker
That's crazy. The sophomore year. Yeah, so. Good times, we know. See us the key. Oh, wow. OK, and then your least favorite things about us, both their faces, they got scared. Are they trying to get us in trouble? this Is this an open forum? We've got to go out with them tonight. Maybe you go first. I don't know. um Chris, just say it's on the tip of this time. I'm going to be real safe here and say the way she loves the dishwasher is oh horrendous.
00:17:17
Speaker
kitchen Well, I can't just live with me. because She knows. Yeah. please Well, I don't know. You're you're you clean a lot now. I'm clean. You're just I don't like this. I've always done. Oh, the dishes. for e yeah Yeah. I don't mind the dishes. I love the dishes. ah The only thing I can think is like, but it's always a work in progress is communication. Like it just is ever evolving, yeah especially with girls and kids like you and I, yeah we have to adjust and adapt the way we communicate with, with.
00:17:54
Speaker
You know, years around. Yeah. And I mean, I'm just like you already said, super crazy about schedule planning so that it it also derives back to that, but. I have this thing I do, which he knows. like I don't ever want to like stress him out or to... I not i don't want to say I tiptoe around in this. I'm wrong. like I'm scared of him. I'm not. But but I do this thing where I tiptoe around what I need or I tiptoe around like like just communicating and I try to do everything myself, but it hits a point where I get like
00:18:36
Speaker
Overwhelmed and then it turns into like me not exploding, but just like that hitting a point of, you know, we need to communicate better. So I assume that's why you're probably rett referencing. That's OK. That's marriage shit right there. Yeah. Typical marriage shit. Yeah. Okay. Oh, you already answered. About the load if it didn't fit. That's a cop out answer. For real. well'm Boring. um Okay. Someone asked for tips from the guys on how to get my husband to be more understanding of my physical and mental load.
00:19:13
Speaker
i mean I think that goes back to really what you guys were just talking about, communication. yeah um i mean We know, guys, like most of the time you have to spell it out for us. so If it's some hidden need that you have that we're not directly observing, then you really just have to tell us. yeah and like i think that yeah like it's like they don't We don't want to tell you because that's just one more thing we have to do. and One one thing Candice and I I mean tried to We haven't been the best at it, but we talked about implementing it recently was on Friday nights just Communicating it goes back to communication but talking about you know what we
00:20:00
Speaker
wanted to accomplish over the weekend, yeah leading into the following week. So like that Friday night, once a week, ah having a conversation centered around that, that doesn't you know exclude or excuse having other conversations or communicating in other ways. But that was just one thing we tried to implement and it is ever evolving and ever changing. It was just like a little Friday night meeting. Cause really like the bulk of our time to get things done is over the weekend, obviously. So it was just kind of like, this is going to be our touch point every Friday evening of like, here's here are the non-negotiables for me. Here's what I would like to get done. Here's how you could help me. How can I help you? And I, that does wonders for us.
00:20:48
Speaker
Yeah, I think I read a statistic. It was like, everyone, I mean, everyone assumes they're doing, they think they're doing more than their partner because they don't, they only realize about 40% or less of the partners, other partners mental load. So if you don't talk about it, and once you do talk about it, You kind of realize, like oh, wow, actually, I just took for granted that that gets done every day. We literally like earlier today, I had the kids while Chris and Benny went swimming and they wake up at the crack it on. So I had him most of the morning and then Chris came back here to give Margo a nap. And I got back here. I said, I'm not gonna lie. I'm feeling a little tapped out. And he goes, oh, really? I said, look, I had
00:21:32
Speaker
them all morning and then you got to come back here and relax for an hour and he was like, oh, like yeah, he goes, that's fair. like He yeah had the realization like, okay, yeah, she's been on on all day and I was like, yeah, take them over to Kansas. I just need myself like 30 minutes and I was fine after I had like a little alone time. and go Goes back to time for me. I'm pretty aware of their schedules and you guys do a good job of keeping them on schedules, sleepwise. So I know when I can do things or maybe when Candice needs support from my end. it's It all goes back to communication. It's crazy how many problems can be solved with just talking. Mm hmm. And also, I've talked about this on this podcast, but like if you were having troubles communicating like therapy is an amazing couple's therapy is an amazing outlet for that to help you navigate those conversations, if that's something you need and you shouldn't feel scared or sad to like do that. Yeah. Like if you're scared to talk to your partner, maybe your issue. find Yeah. Intermediary. Yeah. Yeah. What's pretty good about telling me what she needs? Yeah.
00:22:46
Speaker
like hear in out I hear it across the house. I'm like, oh, shit, I'm coming. Yeah. Sex post baby. God, the longest six weeks of my life.
00:22:59
Speaker
Did we do it on the day? but We definitely did that. Oh, but sorry, Rob. Forgot you were here for insight. I was like waiting for her to come on from the doctor. Am I clear? Oh, my God. I don't remember. If you can sit, let's go. you can say Yes, we we approve of consent here. I wouldn't say just like post baby. It goes further than that. I feel like I'm a little more self-conscious post this baby. With like body image? Yeah. like I feel like I have more stretch marks this time and I still want you to think that I'm cute and I'm like a little, but I mean, we're still active. I think I'm a little more self-conscious now.
00:23:44
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, from me, my point of view, and probably most men were still just as or more than attracted to you than we were before. I think that's probably women's biggest question to men after having baby is like, they am is like, do you notice the things that we notice? And I don't even know if I want you to answer that, I guess, but I'm like, i I don't think so. Like if we are being confident and like, What's the word? it Initiating it? like I think y'all probably care less. You don't care. We didn't get married to you with the knowledge that we're just going to like look the same our entire lives. like yeah We got married to you for like you as a person, yeah and that's what is attractive. Childbirth changes your bodies tremendously, but watching you like
00:24:37
Speaker
grow and carry and deliver like our little people like super attractive yeah and it's like a few stretch marks is not going to like change that makes me feel better yeah that was sweet do you agree? we're just down for a good time in the sheets no i agree i mean it's been slower for us i guess but I think for us, it goes back to time. It does. Oh, well yes. I would say it. but But I feel like y'all were freaky leagues before. So it's like that's my theme of. So it's like, oh, once a week for y'all is probably downtime. Like, no, that's the time. it's Yeah, it's just the time. like Oh, I mean, I don't want to at night at all. Yeah. Do you agree with that?
00:25:23
Speaker
And on a weekday, it's really fucking hard. Yeah. and honest I mean, a weekday, we struggle with eating before eight. We used to do that one. I mean, really little and I get up at three thirty four, so. Yeah, that's the same here like I get up at four to go to the gym. I'm at work by 645 Yeah, by the time the kids are asleep. It's eight and we're both like tapped out Yeah, it's only like the off chance that we're both up and he doesn't go to the gym or he's at home Like we're like, well now's the opportunity. It's like 5 a.m. Yeah, it's been an adjustment for me ah and I think Candace but I agree with Chris's comments earlier like we
00:26:08
Speaker
have vowed to be together for the rest of our life, like, we're both going to change. So, I mean, so seeing you give birth is an amazing thing. That's life changing. Did you watch it? Yeah. Did you look down? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kristin too, creepy. No, I mean, it's fucking crazy. I mean, yeah it's wild that
00:26:38
Speaker
I don't know. Yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy that time. And to see my little two year old Alice running around, she just it's why it's like I made that gorgeous. Yeah, she is. Hold on. Back to the sexting really quick. I do feel like whenever we do make the time for it, we're always like we still got it. Do you know that? Well, no, every time after it's like we should do this more often um every time bad about I think we both could be better at initiating. Yeah, because I probably want it more than I initiated. I agree. And you would say that about. Yeah. No, no, no. With you, I think like you. I'm always down low. One year down, but you do a bad job of initiating. Well, Chris has to initiate it and I'm always like, yeah.
00:27:26
Speaker
Every time I'm a yes, man. I mean, I think about it all the time, but we also have the kids all the time. Yeah, that's I get really caught up in other shit. And Canis knows that I just I also I feel I feel like you have a good understanding and we as a couple have a good understanding that. Like this is just a season yeah and like things are going to change and they're ever evolving and like there will be a time where like maybe we're doing it more, you know, I agree. I mean, right now, like weve you want know, like yeah yeah raising our daughters, being present with them. We're all in our thirties, our early thirties. So we're in establishing a career is pretty important. So hold is I mean, it goes back to communication, like but setting those expectations with your partner is important.
00:28:21
Speaker
Yeah, and also this and I'm saying it to myself, like you should never stop dating your spouse, which I think is something we struggle with because we don't have babysitters like her mom is an hour away, but that takes like a lot of pre planning. And so sometimes to me, it's not worth it just for me and you to go out yeah and have my mom come into town. It's hard. We do a bad job of like planning date nights for ourselves. Well, I Honestly, I would say the same thing. and We have the bajillion babysitters and around. Well, they help you all day. You probably don't want to be like, right. Hey, can you actually stay five more hours? It's not so hard because sometimes at night I'm just so tired. Yeah. I thought we had to dinner. We get creative, I think. I mean, that's another positive of having the water around. I think oh yeah yeah it's just a beautiful place to live.
00:29:16
Speaker
I'm opening up all the time like, should be at but we're going by terrorism. oh people What'd you say? Should we get Florida to tourism to Swatras? But I said Florida terrorism. I'm a huge Tampa fan. I'm wearing the the raise head. I mean, the last time we went out with Candace, we yeah we can save Bargo. That is right. Thank God. I was right. So tonight's the night. Right there. Just kidding. He got snipped. Where was that in Tahoe? Yeah, we took a trip to Tahoe and they can see Tahoe. I literally the next day I was like Candace. You're like, I nervous. We'd have to start like naming our children after their geographic locations of conception.
00:30:07
Speaker
This baby's 10 kids is a matchmaker too. or i am the match anchor A lot of people I set up have made it, which is really exciting. what What's your take on the one to two ratio? A good question. like do you feel and yeah hit Do you feel like it was harder? Yeah, one plus one does not equal two. was i But I thought there's a lot more work with like a kid. i think it does We're just adding another kid. It's not just double the work. It almost feels like five times the work. Oh, oh okay. Like you're just because with one, I don't know which one I think is harder. I think the newness of having a baby and not really knowing what you're doing with the first one was hard.
00:30:51
Speaker
But I think I struggled at first more with having two because with one, at least one of us could have a break, yeah a breaker, some free time. And then with two, it's always like divide and conquer for the most part, especially that first six months. Man to man coverage. Yeah, I like it better. yeah if If you had three, it'd be zone coverage and that'd be wild. I mean, Candice and I are one of three, so is Whitney. Chris is one of a hundred. But we have friends who... we won longergger one One of my good friends has three youngins. ah Two good friends of mine are one of seven. That's insane.
00:31:38
Speaker
Um, do you feel like one to two was harder or easier? It's, it's been hard. Um, I think at the end of the day, it's hard. Uh, I don't know how else to sugar coat it. I delight is being, I mean, me having a a second girl, I get to, you know, see what I did wrong or maybe could improve upon with Alice with Eevee. I think i've I've been very involved and helpful at the infant stage with Eevee. Yeah, more prepared. Yeah, more so than Alice. I feel more prepared. ah We.
00:32:17
Speaker
I don't know. We transitioned a formula earlier with Eevee because of our Europe trip. um So i but you know I feel more involved in helpful and in that sense. I also just think you're more confident in like soothing and like everything that needs to be done like you. With the first, like you don't know what you don't know. You know what I mean? like Yeah. and Well, and and now the the newborn or Evie is easier than Alice. I mean, Alice as great and as I've seen with Graydon, they both have a lot of energy. yeah and
00:32:58
Speaker
tempering that or managing it is not easy. yeah But, you know, like Candice said, it's it's a so phase of time. It's not going to be forever. so So enjoy it. Appreciate it. Yeah, I think also, I don't know. I don't want to bring that and bring down the vibe, I guess. But I always like think about Shannon and when we're having a hard moment and, you know, Alice is testing my laugh patients like or we're having a bad day or whatever. Like I always think like Shannon would give anything to be here and have a bad day. You know, I'm gonna make our life and sorry. I'm somebody who has a lot of.
00:33:43
Speaker
I can be very impatient, to show a lot of emotion. um And I think, I think Candice would attest to me working on and being better at just tempering that and living in the moment, appreciating everything. You know, it's funny that first world problems, like just putting things in perspective is I think you've done a really good job since Evie was born to like, I've just like mindfulness and self-growth in general, like being more mindful, like wanting to be better, you know? yeah So I love that for you and for us. Thanks.
00:34:24
Speaker
All right, this is a ah really sweet question. Are you in awe of your peer talent and community that your wives have created? It's honestly pretty incredible, which I think is another reason I listen every Tuesday, like it's exciting to see your outreach and how your impacting other people's lives and building this like community and it seems to only be snowballing, which is incredible. here So I think it's just it's awesome just watching you grow. it And I think you get excited, too. You're like, if anything happens or like Candace and I have some good news, you're always like, holy crap. This is so cool. Yeah, it's really I like it. I mean, Candace's job is similar in a sense where yeah it's ever
00:35:13
Speaker
changing and revolving and it's always exciting and yeah I'm just so proud of you and uh I think it makes you think just that I'm cool yeah I know it's cool to see and we get to stay in touch like yeah it's a way for us all to stay in touch which is great you guys are stuck with us forever subtle It's not like, I mean, Candice and I were already talking the other day, so it's like, oh, now we're just like FaceTiming, doing it, and talking about different topics that maybe we wouldn't have talked about, but- I think it's only made our friendship even stronger. I mean, it was already at a 10. Yeah.
00:35:52
Speaker
Talking about kids is is cool and fun, too. I mean, you guys love your. Candice loves her, our daughters and when he loves creating in Margo and it's fun. Yeah. Yeah. I do want to address this for the Q1 moms. And I want to talk about Vinnie's sleep a little bit. My group, I send them a picture of you sleeping like so much like every day almost. And they want you to get a sleep study done.
00:36:23
Speaker
Why? yes You are the deepest sleeper I've ever robbed nodding his head. The man can sleep through anything. and Actually, another question we got that kind of relates to both of you is, do you actually not hear the baby at night or are you just pretending to stay asleep? I hear the baby most of the time. Yeah, yeah yeah I don't.
00:36:47
Speaker
You just don't. I'm sorry. Yeah, no. And I I'm so grateful and I appreciate Candice. I know I feel the need to defend myself still. Please go for it. I've slept in Alice's room on the floor. Mm hmm. I realize that I'm not available. Yeah. no I just am a deep sleeper and must be nice. I think it's ten to two. That's like the hard time. We determine that like the those hours are like the times when like she will not wake up. Yeah. I mean, I feel like same early, early on with Evie. I mean, again, I think going back to correcting or doing better or more with Evie, she ate around like three. And I there were some times where I fed her because I was waking up for work already. There are moments like when I had mastitis that I had to wake you up. yeah Yeah. And I was like, I am unwell. Like something is wrong. Yeah, that was a tough week. Yeah, that was a really tough week. And I that was like possibly the sickest I've ever felt. It was so hard. That was yeah, I think I.
00:38:03
Speaker
and somebody who gets shit done. And that's what I was going to say. So you really did help during that time. And so that's when I'm like, it is possible. Yeah. Because you did step up during that time when I was so sick and it was only like 48 hours, really. But yeah, that was felt like the longest 48 hours of my life. Also, just so everyone knows, we do have Margo here. Margo, would you like to say anything? Hi, Margo. What would you like to say? but you Nothing. All right. what She shy. But if you hear baby coop, this is mob group chat. It is what it is. She woke up. So sorry, everybody. Um, okay. This is a question that all moms have and it is, why does it take 10 hours to poop for guys? 30 minutes we do it early time. And I usually do it early in the morning when no one else is off once a day.
00:38:57
Speaker
Yeah. Sometimes I'll come home and need to take care of business. I think Chris is like backed up. He comes home and that's what he does from work. It's like he's not allowed to go at work or something. You're moving all day. Just depends. Depends on my hydration status. Interesting. Okay. If I'm dehydrated, this will still take longer. Yeah. I think all men know where or when they usually need to poop a schedule. OK, I have a question. I'm going to start timing you guys. We're going to be 30 seconds. It would be so quick. I already know that for. I'm quick. I only go in that bathroom when it is at the train station and then literally takes me. Rob's can attest to that. Even when I was little, I. If it's more than five minutes, I'm get worried.
00:39:46
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. i'm standing now So my question to you Rob off camera off mic is are all guys like you're not a dad yet. All guys. Is it and is it a guy thing or is it a dad thing taking long to poop? I mean, I don't, I'm not the quickest pooper. Yeah. And I'm not a dad. so So it's a guy thing. I don't think it's an every guy thing. Cause some people all like get to get in there and get out. And I don't feel like things move that quickly. Yeah. um I'll tell you when I swam, you had to get in and get out. Like if they'd ever happen at swim practice, so guys know.
00:40:28
Speaker
Well, you can't poop in those britches. I'm incriminating guys, but we know how to do know how to prolong the time is what you're saying. No, we know how to do it quickly if necessary. If you want us to admit that sometimes pooping is used for a little bit of personal time, then you may be on to something. Yeah, that's so and that's what I wanted. Thank you. You're honest. Thank you for being honest. OK, we had a fun like fuck Mary kill situation that we wanted to do. hey Margo is going to play as well. And it's well, they said kiss Mary Kilbert. Yes. Made it. Sorry. I read it. I read it. But break Hill, Travis Kelsey, Patrick Mahomes or Tom Brady. I know mine. OK, go mine. I would ah kill Patrick Mahomes. I'm sorry.
00:41:18
Speaker
um I would probably kiss or fuck Travis Kelsey and then I would marry Tom Brady. I think I mean Tom Brady did so much for Tampa Bay. compet Well, I just think of his mansion and all the millions. Oh, yeah yeah, he's got a I mean, maybe Candace would want me to marry Travis Kelsey just to get with Taylor Swift. over But I'd have a little fling with with him so she could she could get her. ah
00:41:56
Speaker
Okay. I think I would agree on all three accounts. Sorry, Patrick, but you got to go her with the frog. Her voice. Yeah. Oh gosh. He's Kenny. aog Yeah. I can't. That was kind of easy. Yeah. That was his, I agree. Vinnie, tell us your thoughts on having a third. Not sold right now. Well, it's just this number at all. Like give me a percentage like how like 30 30 percent sold on having a third. Yes. Like a third maybe somewhere between a quarter and a third 30 percent right there. But Evie is only like four months. So almost where are you on this? There's a lot of time. Five months next week. Next Friday. That's right. A week from today.
00:42:51
Speaker
I am 90% sure that I would like a third. Wow. Yeah. I mean, i if I knew it was a boy, I'd say yes. Yeah. But without that, I mean, that's thats god God's plan. God's plan. Without knowing that, and I recognize that it's God's plan, but um It's a tough sell and I'd need a couple of years. Yeah. i Like I could first see Eevee in a third having like, I don't think Candace would agree with this, but like a four or five year gap. I don't know.
00:43:35
Speaker
Like like I think the longest it would be a three. years old I mean, for your gap, you would get pregnant in three years or less. I actually am open to that. So I am. I am open to that. So like you would be three. I don't know. I don't even like I know I keep saying this and I keep like asking, like joking about it. I'm very mindful of women in their time cycle, too. So I I understand the opportunity and where there could be risk. Like if I want to get really technical, like, no, I am mindful of women. And I just it's a hard sell right now. One hundred percent. Yeah. Yeah. You agree, Margo?
00:44:22
Speaker
sorry she's no you're fine um i would say like i know i keep saying this i don't even think we should even like really discuss it until evie is two so that would make sense even with your timeline like i don't even know like alice i got pregnant when alice was like 14 months so so you know what i mean i think this is a good question did you Did either of you experience baby blues like after either of the babies were born or like like any sort of emotional changes after becoming a dad? um I guess I could be a little candid here. I think I had more baby blues with the first one.
00:45:05
Speaker
would just great end um because we completely turned our lives upside down not with just having a baby when Whitney was what six months pregnant we moved across the country back to Nashville new job for me which was actually kind of backwards in my career like I had to take a step back And I'm a very like goal oriented, progress type person. So that I think that was a tough pill for me to swallow. Yeah. Along with just the sheer exhaustion of having a child that completely like fucks with your mental state. Totally. So I would say with the first one. Yeah. For a minute, I was like, Oh my God, this kind of sucks. I love my kid, but wow. Yeah, it's a big change.
00:45:54
Speaker
And we left a lot of friends and we were just, we were Mr. Good and Mrs. Good time. um yeah So it was a big lifestyle change going from just like going to the ocean mist and drinking mudslides to while we're pregnant and land logged, like Chris said, and just sitting in traffic 45 minutes all the way home from work in Asheville traffic was like miserable, even for me, like I was say it standing at the door like, where are you? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like every aspect of my life on all sides had been turned upside down. yeah So I think that was the hard part for me. I was like, I have made a grave mistake, not with having the kid, but i' it was tough. Yeah. Yeah, it's hard.
00:46:46
Speaker
Yeah, no, i I mean, full disclosure, just being honest, it what it's it's a but adjustment, a change. um I like to have fun and do and hang out with my buddies. Maybe he's got a lot of buddy. Yeah, that's what Candice will say is everyone's Viddie's buddy. Yeah. He's like, I got a buddy and like, yeah, you always got a buddy. And I have a lot of friends who still aren't even married and let alone have have kids. i We have a good group of people who have kids and it's funny. It's fun, funny seeing us all evolve. um But
00:47:31
Speaker
Again, I'm very analytical and the one thing when I swim at Purdue, our coach talked about an equal radical, an equilateral triangle of swim, social and school and managing that. And now that's changed for me in my life now. But I would say the three things that I have to manage in way ah They don't all get the same amount of time, but work, family and my social life and ah social life with Candace, with my buddies. And it's an adjustment. and But that's just life. That's reality. You feel like you were you had more baby blues after one baby than the other because I I have an opinion.
00:48:23
Speaker
I don't know. I would say after Alice, I mean, I think I was i struggled after Evie a little. I would say more mentally with Evie than Alice. like I was prepared for the physical aspect with Evie mentally. i mean I think Alice had a hard time. And not yeah whole an estimate that. The layer of that. Yeah. Just managing Alice with Evie. Yeah. And I was prepared or more prepared. Yeah. ah But yeah, but we felt well I was a pain to be around a pill to be around sometimes.
00:49:04
Speaker
I mean, I wouldn't say you're a pain, but yeah I think you struggled more. earned my From my perspective as your wife, I think you struggled more after Evie was born than after Alice was born. Yeah, no, I think a lot of the stress maybe build up was due to our Europe trip. oh Yeah, I mean, that's just no, that's just being honest. Yeah, I think there's a lot of y'all's fights. Oh, yeah. And schedule us top of finances. Yeah. So and and we've got a I mean, we're talking about this trip before Evie's born. Yeah, it's hard. The process of getting her passport was a pain in the ass, let alone everything else. So like
00:49:51
Speaker
It was, I feel better or I think I've been pretty chill since then. We've been better since we moved back. Word's been good. Word's been slower. I mean, I have a plan for the rest of the year. We have a plan for the rest of the year. Was labor and delivery less intimidating the second time around because you knew what to expect? Yes. I mean, from my standpoint, I'm in the medical field. So about that. Seen it. Yeah. Yeah. No, it was for me. I mean, I.
00:50:29
Speaker
and Both times they were amazing just seeing life and that just seeing life and it's life changing. and But I felt more prepared. I knew I was very restless the first time and it was during COVID or more eats in COVID-ish. And I felt like we were just in a nice jail. I will say always the second time I knew how uncomfortable that chair was gonna be. because Oh my god. Oh, I can't prepare. I had blankets, my snacks, a pillow. He can also sleep anywhere. Yeah. like We were there as long. Margot, we're gonna have to put a muzzle on you, girl. Margot, what? the I know. I think we need to wrap this up. She's stressing me out. No, no, no, no. She's fine. She really is.
00:51:22
Speaker
Margot really is like ruddling. Margot, you're supposed to be my quiet child. Margot, are you crazy?
00:51:35
Speaker
Someone asked, what is your contribution to the household? As in, how should I take this question? Do you help? I would say yes. It's a strange question. It seems very pointed. Yeah, it does feel pointed. And I think both of you guys know a lot. Yeah, I. Yeah. I mean, every contribution is going to be different per couple. Like yeah I work full time, but I'm also very present with the children. Totally. Yeah. And all the finances. Mm hmm.
00:52:11
Speaker
So, I mean, yeah, no, I think I think I contribute. I mean, it goes back to communication. I would hope Candace would tell me if I'm not now or like, in my opinion, like in my mindset, performing, maybe like if we want to get super business ah lingo wise, I don't know. Life's always changing. You got to be adaptable. So. ah Candace and I have talked about our long term life goals, and that's what I strive for. And I know what will help me get there. I know what will fuck that up. So, yeah, it's black and white. Next question is, would you ever come back for a part two? Yeah. On the pod, on the pod. Yeah. What do you see the future of mom group chat be?
00:53:11
Speaker
I mean the future, I hope you guys still continue to grow and grow your community and your impact. I mean, you guys are interviewing amazing people. It's honestly kind of wild to watch. I mean, I'm ready for some merch to come out. The person's being candid. He always says, I'm ready to be a stay-at-home dad.
00:53:35
Speaker
OK, send your money in. We ain't making no money. I mean, I know Candace and Whitney are both hustlers and Candace is the hustler. and I'm the talent. As long as it makes y'all happy. As long as it makes y'all happy, I want you to continue doing it. I'm excited for the future and potential opportunities, like Chris said, who you guys ah interview is amazing and they have been awesome. Yeah. Sky's the limit. Totally. Truly. And.
00:54:11
Speaker
I think you guys do provide um just something very special to other moms, like. Yeah, thanks. I think we love it. We love it so much. Literally, it's the highlight of every week for me. While you're living it. And it's a lot of work. I mean, I see it ah every week with Candace ah between recording, editing, All right. so that's good Well, thank you all so much for coming on. It's been so fun. We will possibly do. I mean, there will be more of these in the future for sure. Yeah. We usually try to get together like at least once a year. Yeah. Like in person. Yeah.
00:54:55
Speaker
Yes. Thank you guys for being all on and being so confident. on I mean, I'm definitely adding this to my Instagram handle appeared in my group chat season one episode. He's a podcast right now in his head. Love you guys. Love you. Thank you so much for being a part of our mom group chat. New episodes drop every Tuesday and don't forget the group chat is blowing up on our Instagram page. So make sure you're following along over there. All right. Got to go. My toddler just put something in her mouth. Bye!