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EP 64: Choosing Joy
1.6k Plays11 days ago
In this heartfelt episode, Candace opens up about some of the challenges she's been facing lately and how she's made the conscious decision to choose joy daily, even during difficult times. Candace and Whitney dive deep into the importance of finding happiness amidst the chaos and share their personal tips for making life a little easier when the tough days roll in.
From simple routines to mindful practices, they discuss what keeps them grounded and joyful. You'll leave this episode with practical ideas to brighten your days, no matter how hard they seem.
Plus, the duo shares a fun recap of their recent travels to Michigan and North Carolina, adding some lighthearted travel stories and moments of joy from their adventures.
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Transcript
00:00:07
Speaker
There's no right way to do it.
00:00:12
Speaker
Oh, we're gonna get into it. What up moms? My name is Candice, and I'm here with my best friend Whitney, and this is the Mom Group Chat Podcast. Hello. Hello, hello. It's been so long. How the hell are ya? I've missed you. It's been like two weeks since we've recorded. Yeah, because maybe we we both had a little vacay moment. so That was fun. I got back from Mackinac Island. You were just, well, you were in Charlotte, but you also went to the lake.
00:00:44
Speaker
Right. Yeah. I really was only in Charlotte for like two hours. Oh, I just kept saying Charlotte because before I went to be honest, I didn't quite know what the town was called, but I went to like Pinehurst slash with pine. Yeah. Yeah.
00:01:00
Speaker
I think everyone knows where that is. Well, yeah, I'm just I just never really did that much research. Yeah, I just knew that I was going to Mackenzie's family's lake house and I just Mackenzie lives in Charlotte right now for now. Yeah. So I just never I never went the step further to learn the exact town of the lake house was it? That's like my parents like house. It's like, OK, Katie's.
00:01:26
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, you know. um Yeah. Well, how was your trip? I want to hear all about it. It was so lovely. um I've posted it was long. Yeah, I know. And I like in a good way. I see that I say that in a good way. So bad for my parents. I was like, oh, my gosh, because they kept them from basically like a Thursday night until Wednesday, almost a full week, because we left Friday and like took our time getting up there it's kind of a long little hike from Tennessee and then um yeah we were there on the island from Saturday to Wednesday so yeah that is so nice though oh my gosh how was it it felt it felt Like good because we weren't rushing to do things and not that there was like a lot to do on the island like it's very much like protect this place at all costs because. It's one of those like hidden gems where it's like kept in the past where there's no cars on the island.
00:02:29
Speaker
You either have to walk, bike or get a carriage, which is the taxi with horses. um And like, a wow. Yeah, everything. I didn't know that. Pretty laid back. The whole island's like eight point two miles. Very small. There's only one little town and like the rest are just hotels are better. Are there golf carts? No, but there is a golf course, which is why a lot of people were there to golf. Interesting.
00:02:57
Speaker
but it was so cute. Like we literally like had to slow down. We were like, we can't, you know, when you're like finally alone as parents and you're like, I have to do everything because I never have time alone. Like we literally were like first day that is that only stay at the hotel and hang out and explore here. Because if we did the hotel and the town, like we would have got everything over with in like a day. So we just did hotel the first day, which was literally a glorified cruise ship.
00:03:26
Speaker
That place was huge, um like six bars, tons of restaurants, ice cream parlor. Like it just had everything to leave the island. You could probably stay at the resort. Yeah. I mean, that's like why we picked that because there's a lot to do just on the property. And then, yeah, like the next day we just went into town and went shopping like in and out of shops. I mean, like we sprinkled in like day drinking and all of this as I'm. doing Yeah.
00:03:53
Speaker
Obviously, like the next day we were like athletic and we went biking and we were swimming and all that stuff. We just like did every day like a leisure hang, you know? um That is so nice. Yeah, and it was so nice to like not feel guilty to like lay in my bed for a few hours too. Like we were were like done shopping for the day and I was like,
00:04:18
Speaker
I want to lay down and I don't feel guilty about it. I don't feel like I'm wasting money by laying like I never get to just do this. So it was fun to just like hang out. Honestly, it was really good. God, it's so nice. I need to have spicy moments like we talked about. Of course. I was editing the episode where we were I was like, are you bringing laundry? And you're like, I haven't even thought about it.
00:04:45
Speaker
um But yeah, of course. I mean, we were alone. And it was so fun. um What else? I was going to say, oh, I took a lot of like videos. I just need to post it. I wanted to do a cute little like recap of the trip. You should have not had the time, but I will. I want to do that this week. So it was great. And also on our way up there, we stopped in Traverse City, which Traverse City is so cute. I've never been to Michigan, first of all, which I think I mentioned. But um it was so fun because we just went wine hopping. They have tons of little wineries.
00:05:23
Speaker
along the peninsula and we ran into like bachelorette parties everywhere and like that is so like my vibe so I made friends. If you have a bachelorette party, Whitney and I are the people to invite. I don't think we have anyone, we hardly have any listeners here that are having bachelorette parties, but if you are, invite us.
00:05:46
Speaker
I was literally like, I made friends with one of them and then she invited us to sit with them. And I was like, Hey, I swear I'm not weird. Cause you could tell like the girls at the and other end of the table were like, what the fuck? Like our friends drunk and invited this couple to sit with us. Meanwhile, I'm like, what's up? Like drinking, hanging. Then I made them all like me and we made friends and they were like, everyone we met was from Michigan and they were like, where are you from? And I'm like, Nashville. And they're like, Oh my God, we're the ones that come to you. And I'm like, girl,
00:06:16
Speaker
Let me know when you come. Yeah. Oh, my God. That is so funny. No, I've been to Traverse City. That's where we flew in when we went to Michigan when I was pregnant with Alice. We went with our friends, Zach and Joanna. Joanna's from Michigan. um And Traverse City is so cute.
00:06:35
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, we actually had the best pumpkin coffee I've ever had in my life from that city. It was so good that when we flew in, that's when I had the pumpkin coffee. And then on our way back, when we were like flying out and just going to be in Traverse City for a couple hours, I was like such a crazy person. I was like, we have to go back to that place and I have to get up and get coffee. But it was I was super pregnant or I wasn't super pregnant, but I was.
00:07:00
Speaker
four or five, six months pregnant, I can't remember. And I was like, this is, yeah, I was like, this is all I have to live for. Okay. Like this stupid pumpkin coffee. I, we got so hammered that first day. It was like first day syndrome and we like went hard in the paint.
00:07:17
Speaker
that we got back to the hotel at like seven and we both passed out in our clothes, like in jeans, sweater, like passed the F out. I woke up at 11.30 p.m. and I was like, where am I? Like, I was just- Oh my God, that is so funny. Were you hungover or no?
00:07:37
Speaker
Yeah, by eleven thirty. And the next day I woke up with hives. Oh, that's right. That's right. Oh, God, I'm so sorry. It's fine. I got hives because I something my body hates me. It's like if I get too stressed out, it attacks itself. And so I broke out in hives. It was just like the whole mix of like um now I can announce that I applied for a new job within my company. So I had interviews.
00:08:06
Speaker
with Margo's first birthday party and then like preparing for this trip. So it was like, I finally got on vacation and relaxed and my body was like, fume and I broke my lives. And I was like, okay, great. Well, ah do are you allowed to say that you got the job? I did get the job. So I did post it. um I did get the job. Oh, that's right. So yeah. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you so much.
00:08:35
Speaker
And you are I feel like this is important to announce, actually, because in your like intro episode many moons ago, you know, we had talked about you were being you were part time. Yeah. And so I'm back full time. It just felt I took like a two and a half year like part time. I don't know if it's like a pause. It was more like a. Yeah, it was more like a tiny step. back Yes. Like it was just stepping back from. Yeah.
00:09:04
Speaker
And like I said, my boss is amazing and allowed me to do that. um I decided to go back full time a few, like a month ago and then this new job opened and I was like, well, now that I'm full time, I might as well like go for a promotion. Head on to the medal, baby. Yeah. So it's like, you know, full send. And, um, yeah, I got the job, which is great. I'm like.
00:09:28
Speaker
feeling um a little overwhelmed in the best way. Like I feel this forward momentum. Like Chris and I are obviously done having children. So it was like, okay, Margo's one. I can kind of refocus on career. Like I just feel like I'm in a good spot. Like podcasts is doing great. Career is like on the little rise right now. And my kids are doing great. So it's just like, now's a good time just to... Yeah, it was like natural transition yeah for sure. Yeah, set motion.
00:09:57
Speaker
Super excited about that, but yeah. Well, I'm so proud of you. You deserve it. I've given you a little some pep talks recently because I was like, girl, you are you work a lot for being part time. Like you should be paid more. And you were like, you know what? You're right. So, um yeah, I'm just so proud of you and you deserve it. And I'm excited to like as you transition into this to kind of like see how things change yeah and see how you're feeling and I think it'll be a good thing to talk about here on the pod like as you kind of make this transition because I feel like with as moms we make a lot of transitions with our kids like our kids are transitioning into things but it's interesting to navigate like you transitioning into a change for once you know I hope if if anything like
00:10:54
Speaker
This gives people like hope that even if you do take like a per a career pause or step back, it doesn't mean like your identity and your job is lost. like And not that like a job is everything to everyone. like There was a time where I was like, I don't know.
00:11:11
Speaker
family i mean family still and always will be most important to me. But it was like I hit a good stride recently where it just made sense and the stars aligned. So if anything, I hope this gives people hope that you can focus on family and and grow your family and still have that identity in your job. So totally. And you're still you still made steps in your career like forward, even though you technically like took a step back by going part-time like you still showed your value you still learned you still progressed and look at you now you're you made a whole like promotion and new job forward so it's really exciting yeah well thank you um you're welcome about me let's talk about your trip
00:12:02
Speaker
yeah Oh, it was so nice. Oh, my God. It was like needed little girl retreat. Totally. It was just me and one of my best friends, Mackenzie, who is a listener, I think. Hi, Mackenzie. And well, she's not a mom, but i'm I know she listens. so She comes in here and there.
00:12:22
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. And it was just so nice. We had like totally been, we had wanted to do like a bestie weekend for a while and the stars just kind of aligned after, it was actually after my mental breakdown.
00:12:39
Speaker
After you were here for 4th of July and I had that like mental breakdown, i my mom was actually the one that encouraged me to like go away with a friend or Mackenzie like just the two of us and like so we have like a chill like friend weekend, you know?
00:13:00
Speaker
And um she was like, why don't you do it in the middle of when Vinny is doing his GC course? You're gonna need a break. And like it's the perfect time to do it. So we did, we we kind of planned that. And you guys, it was so nice. It was like Thursday to Sunday. We just went to her family's lake house and just had like like When I say we like did nothing, like we did nothing, but we like did everything I needed, you know, like, yeah. <unk> one of those like you but Like what I'm saying, like you have to force not, I don't know that you had a force, but like it's okay to say you were just chilling all weekend. Like. Yeah, you know what I mean? It was totally it was so nice, especially Friday. Like Friday, we woke up. Well, first of all, Thursday night, I took a Unisom to go to sleep. And you guys, I had the best slumber of my life. I slept until nine thirty, which I i never get to do. I know.
00:14:05
Speaker
Mackenzie was like twiddling her thumbs. She was like, when I would have been I would have been pissed. Yeah, I know. I feel like andnna she also she also knew that, like, I really wanted to sleep in. So she was like, girl, you do you. But um and then we woke up and it was kind of like a super rainy gray day. So we literally just had like a pajama day and we watched The Notebook. Oh, my God.
00:14:29
Speaker
I haven't seen that movie in so, like front to back. I feel like it's on TV a lot so I'll catch like little moments of it. I'll watch TikTok, like I'll watch pieces on TikTok. Yeah. like get Oh my God. We watched that movie front to back and it was actually the extended version with all the like the cut like deleted scenes.
00:14:50
Speaker
You guys, that movie altered the the state of my mind. Like I don't know, that movie is so fucking good. The chemistry but between Rachel McAdams and Ryan is unreal. It is also gut wrenchingly sad. Mackenzie and I were sobbing at the end. it Even though I've seen that movie like a hundred times. but And also it is spicy. I was like,
00:15:19
Speaker
I remember watching it in the movie theater. I was like, I'm going to need like something after this because that movie is spicy, especially with the deleted sex scene. Oh, my God. Wow. So beautiful in that movie. Like the most classically but beautiful person I've ever seen.
00:15:40
Speaker
I have chills thinking about her yeah with those like curl pins. Oh, it's crazy. But anyways, so that was so amazing. And then that night, Friday night, we actually ended up we did go out to dinner. We like got dressed. We had a whole pajama day. This it that stopped raining. So we like got dressed and went and had like a dinner and some dirty martinis. And we went to like um kind of like one of the sports bars in town, um which is a weird. I feel like I don't know. but There's not much in that town, so like.
00:16:14
Speaker
whatever. But let me tell you, this bar was crawling with attractive men. If you are single listening to this, I mean, I, again, I am a married woman and literally we didn't talk to a single man. and My, I just was observing and I was like, holy moly, there are so many attractive men in this bar. I think because it's like a golf Yeah. It's a very big golf. Yeah. like So funny. Like when you take your like blinders off for a second and you actually like look at the world around you and you're like, Oh yeah.
00:16:49
Speaker
Wow. There's other guys out there. Yeah, yeah. Not that I'm looking. and Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, same. Like not looking like when I say we literally didn't talk to a single man, but it was like I was like, oh, wow. If I were single, this would be the place to go. um But anyways, it was just such a nice trip. And then the next day the the weather cleared and we like laid it by the lake and I just have and this is gonna kind of transition us into the topic of this episode but I've definitely had like a really I feel like we both have honestly we both have had like a really I've had a very stressful month um there's so much going on like
00:17:35
Speaker
Vinny's obviously doing this GC course, so I am solo parenting every weekend. And like, I feel stupid complaining about that, to be honest. Like, you're I allowed to complain, like, that's hard. It's just- Every weekend, like, when you have reprieve of both parents, and then you don't. It's like supposed to be a fun time, and it's hard.
00:17:59
Speaker
like to be on for two whole days with the kids and the way like because of their difference in age like their nap schedules like don't line up so if I'm lucky if I'm lucky I will get 30 minutes of them both napping at the same time but other than that like I have one of them all the time and Evie's now seven months so like she's moving like i cannot set her down anymore without her like army crawling or getting into something so it's just being like on for two days straight and it's like super draining by the time vinny's classes until like five thirty and it's pretty far away so like by the time he gets home at six thirty it's like
00:18:42
Speaker
He's there for like, what, an hour? like you know And this is no this is not shade to Vinny. We agreed for him to do this. It's good for his career. like we I was totally on board for him doing this, but that doesn't like invalidate my feelings of it being hard. And I don't and i keep telling him, like I don't want him to feel bad that I think it's hard because I want him to do this.
00:19:07
Speaker
you know but It's just, it's freaking hard. heard And i there's ah so many other things. I'm not gonna go into like super detail, but I've had like so many freaking car issues. Did I ever tell you? I don't think I told you that yeah about my oil.
00:19:28
Speaker
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, Whitney. So this happened. I was picking up my car from the dealership the morning that you texted me about the medicine. Oh, so. And you were on your trip and I was like, I am not going to be a Debbie Downer for her while she's on this trip. Like I.
00:19:47
Speaker
whatever. So the Friday that you left, okay, hold on, back up. The weekend before this, when I was super sick, I hit a pothole and got a flat tire. I kind of talked about that in the last episode um or our fall episode. So that happened. I had to go get a new tire, blah, blah, blah.
00:20:05
Speaker
well The next Friday, my oil light had been like kind of coming on and on on and off. And so I was driving home from dropping the girls off and my oil light came on and stayed on. So I was like, okay, I'm just going to stop and get an oil change. like It's fine.
00:20:23
Speaker
And I stopped at a take five oil change and, you know, they start to change my oil. He like comes over to my window, you know, cause you stay in the car. He comes over to my window and he shows me like the bottom panel that like caps.
00:20:41
Speaker
your car and it's, he like runs his fingers on it and it's like, man, this is covered in oil. And I was like, okay, what does that mean? And he was like, you clearly have an oil leak. He's like, I'm going to try and figure out what's wrong. So He goes under there and then commotion starts happening. Like he's calling people over to look at my car. I see them go and get the manager from inside of the take five oil change and they call him over and the manager is looking under my car. I was like, Oh my fucking God. Like what now? Truly what now? So I, the manager gets out from under my car. He comes over to the side and he goes, ma'am, do you have someone who hates you?
00:21:26
Speaker
And I said, what, what do you mean? And he was like, it looks like someone drilled into your oil pan. He's like, you have a perfect hole in your oil pan. He's like, you have no oil in this car. I don't know how you're driving it. You should not be driving this car.
00:21:44
Speaker
And I was like, did somebody like and I have a picture of it. It's so he's like, let me get under there. I'm going to take a video for you so you can see it. And it is. It's like a perfect. It literally looks like someone drilled into my oil pan, your oil.
00:22:02
Speaker
I mean, it's just leaking out. I don't know if they like took it. I have no idea. And I don't, we still don't know if that's what actually happened. Like we don't know. He asked me, he was like, did you hit something? I was like, no, not to my knowledge. Like, I don't know. He's like, either someone drilled into your, he's like, I don't know how that would happen because your car is so low to the ground. They would literally have to lift your car.
00:22:24
Speaker
He's like, have you had it serviced? And I was like, I did get a new tire last week, but Vinnie stayed and watched, it like Vinnie watched him put the tire on. So like, it was not, it wasn't that guy. And so I don't know. he's like He's like, I wouldn't drive this. He was like, if you are going to drive it, you need to drive it directly to the dealership or to a mechanic. Like this, you should not be driving this to vehicle. It's very dangerous. And I was like, oh my God. So that's A.
00:22:52
Speaker
That day I drove my car straight to the dealership. Whitney, $2,200. No. ye Yep. I had to get a whole new oil pan, everything. Plus, I mean, ah yeah, it was just, I was like beside myself. I was like, are you fucking kidding me? Like, I just, it's one thing after, like, I think I posted this on my story recently. It was like a meme. And it was like, you know, when old people, when we were younger were like, if it's not one thing, it's another. I can confirm if it's not one thing, it's another. And I've just had so many, like,
00:23:34
Speaker
and like It's sad because those things that are out of my control happening, like um they affect the way I show up as a mom because I am so frustrated and stressed about all of these little things that i am short I have a shorter fuse with my kids and the fact that I'm alone with them during all of this, like is it's just hard. It's hard to find the joy in the everyday and it takes like real effort from me. It's really hard.
00:24:11
Speaker
That's hard because like it's not anyone's fault. like What are you to do? though These are the little things where it's like when your parents say, like you need a little nest egg for when these things happen. And you're like, all right, thanks. Got it. like Love that for me. And you're just like cool. But those little things that are out of control, it's just like one of those frustrating life.
00:24:36
Speaker
I don't know. It makes you want to throw away your car. you i i'm done And it's also annoying cause like I do want a new car. So it's like, just like, ah I don't even want to spend $2,200 on this because I, but also like the thought, the car cars are so expensive right now that like, and I don't have a car payment is paid off. So it's like to add instead of $2,200, I would add a thousand dollars a month on a car payment. So it's like,
00:25:04
Speaker
um So anyways, that happened. Yeah, I was like, I'm not going to bother her with being a Debbie Downer. ah Hey, you could have texted me Friday and I would have made you feel better because I was like, a ah feel like I think I did voice. I was going to say, I think you did voice memo me because you were with the bachelorette party. Oh my God. I forgot. I didn't realize I sent you that until like two days later and I was like, what is that?
00:25:35
Speaker
And i I love my God, that is so funny. Wow. But so if you were having this phase of life to where like and I think part of this is also accepting that like life with kids is like a little bit like this, like there will be something one after the other and.
00:25:56
Speaker
You have to choose to like show up with like lightness. That's kind of how I see it. like I could just absolutely let this ruin my day. And this is like my husband and I's biggest difference is like that would ruin Vinny's day. like Vinny can let things absolutely destroy his whole life. in like It just snowballs. I'm usually pretty good at like letting things roll off. I have to like have a moment maybe, but most of the time I'm like, all right.
00:26:29
Speaker
It's fine, like it is what it is, but it's hard. So I thought maybe in this episode, we could just talk about like choosing joy in the times that it's like hardest and when life feels like it's just as constantly throwing snowballs at you, like how you deal with it. I feel like you are good at this.
00:26:56
Speaker
Yeah, well not yeah, but I will say like we kind of got this idea a few weeks ago when you were I don't even remember you were like maybe it was the car thing plus something else and we were like yeah we're like let's not record today you were like I'm not in a good headspace and I was like let's like find or let's do an episode on like finding joy and I thought like by now. be better themselves like no no no It is better. It is better. It really is. It really is. so um It is better. But yeah, you're right that we were going to record one day and I was just like, ah like the fucking Wicked Witch of the West. I was like, we can't record today. I am like a negative Nancy times 100 today.
00:27:39
Speaker
I don't even remember what was going on, but I was like, I was like, we can't record today. I need to be in a better, more positive headspace than I am. But all of that that I just told you guys just was needed for context. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I did a really good job of this yesterday and I had. Well, I actually I saw a TikTok or real that kind of sparked this idea of just like saying yes when my automatic first thought is to say no. um And how that will make my kids happier and relieve some of that like negativity. And so yesterday when I had the girls by myself, I was like, and granted, this is coming after a weekend of like restoration. you know
00:28:28
Speaker
so there is a part of this that's like you were yeah i was yeah i was able but i do think i will try to take this with me as i move forward in my like motherhood journey and it's like there are so many things that i say no to just because it would be like an inconvenience maybe like a small one or it's something that like i don't know like this is an example so yesterday we were at the park and um
00:29:00
Speaker
you know i have evie and i have alice and i took them to the park to like get out of the house granted vinny actually was with us ah at this time but alice the splash pad was going and alice was saying like she wants to go in this flash pad and my initial thought was to say no and so i was like no baby we're not doing that and she started to like throw a fit and i so just started to think about it i'm like what if i just let her go and then i was like i i have a beach towel in the car i have a be i have a towel i didn't even bring a diaper bag with me into the park so i actually didn't have like a diaper or change of clothes but i was like
00:29:35
Speaker
we are literally five minutes from home like i could walk home if i wanted to i'm like what's the worst if i just let her go in the splash pad i have a towel we can dry off like what if i just said yes and it would save a temper tantrum it would change my mood and her mood if i just said yes okay so that's kind of what i mean of like yeah would it be a slight inconvenience totally just kind of wouldn't let her clothes yeah
00:30:06
Speaker
yeah like would it make her happy and ultimately probably make my life as a mom easier because she would be totally distracted and happy for twenty five minutes so that's something that as i move forward because i still have three maybe even four more weekends of solo time yeah like is just to say yes more actually yeah like i don't it's not that serious
00:30:38
Speaker
you know totally that's literally the same thing happened this weekend it was like pouring rain and all the kids were playing outside in the rain and i was just like ah that not fun for me but glad he's enjoying it you know yeah letting them make those memories totally flash pad with their clothes on getting caught in the rain just running around they all were running around with umbrellas and grayden did um managed to break hourss it is in
00:31:08
Speaker
pieces
00:31:11
Speaker
i was like okay great and too much ah yeah like god oh i love that though because like i have memories of running around in the rain from when i'm yeah little and that's like yeah like that's core memory shit right there well and you like do the little ring dance and you know totally me but yeah we were we thought um this would be a good episode and like finding joy in everyday motherhood and like what are some like tips and tricks and
00:31:42
Speaker
i like found some online but i will say my favorite frickin tip is from our good good friend olivia from skinny hangover and i swear to god i say this every single day and it's when the walls feel like they're closing in break down the walls which is typically when we're we've been stuck inside it's getting to that witching hour get outside it's so true changes their mood if we like
00:32:13
Speaker
go on a walk they relax and chill out like if i just like put water in the water table they're happy even for fifteen minutes like it just changes everyone's mood like we're all yeah ramped up that is like my favorite frickin thing to do and i think another thing that i really like try and do is like not be so serious all the time like if i feel like graden and i are about to like get into it yeah literally i'm like
00:32:45
Speaker
fight that that boy test me i swear um flip it into a joy and a joy ah joke and i've talked about that before where i'm like right don't you test me and like lightens the mood on both ends and yeah ah just that works for him um and me it's actually you're bringing me back we got um i think it was one of my like bridal showers or something we had like an advice box you know like a marriage advice box oh yeah and one
00:33:19
Speaker
something that someone wrote was like i think it was like just laugh it off like if you're able to laugh through things together you're going to go really far in marriage and i kind feel that same vibe with parenting like yeah if you're able to laugh through things with your spouse but ah your kids through some of these like tough moments and like turn it into a silly laughing moment like you're so right it's going to change the whole day and the yeah mood
00:33:49
Speaker
it just i don' know especially like learning as they're getting gray in turning three in two weeks i'm like okay he's about to hit three teenager which everyone warns you about they're like okay terrible twos wasn't that bad is bad and i'm like i' scared yeah i don't even want to like jinx it but he's been like really good um there's times like there's like ebbs and flows and and i don't know if it's just like with growth spurts or sometimes when he's
00:34:20
Speaker
sick like he just gets bad energy but he's been in one of those good like flows and like butre just having so much fun together he's so funny and um i'm like oh god i really don't want but to dip into like one of those what's what's the app called leap oh and leon hu you know um but i found a list of cute they yeah let's hear it i mean not cute but whatever um
00:34:50
Speaker
one of them is creating routine or having plans which we always hate i was going to say this is is in the same maine i feel like it kind of is i feel like one of my go-tos is if i know i'm gonna have a long day ahead or a hard day ahead a whole saturday hey yeah like a whole saturday a whole sunday i will go out of my way the evening before to plan ahead but also to maybe plan one special thing like
00:35:22
Speaker
i did this my very first solo weekend when i had them a couple weeks ago and it was like ok today like tomorrow when things get tough we're going to chalk paint i like saw this thing on pinterest whatever we created paint with chalk and they could paint on the sidewalks and like not going to lie it was like a little bit of a fail but it worked for twenty minutes you know um feel like by um good ideas from stay- at- home moms on this like yeah and i always think back to shannon where she said she broke up her day in half like the morning
00:35:57
Speaker
or getting out of the house um and it could be the park she's like it could be starbucks like it's just get out of the house hu get out of these walls and then the yep second half was for an nightivity yeah a craft or it could i mean not watching tv but it could be watching tv yeah movie like just do a yeah and having that like mentally in your head ah a schedule like that would help totally yeah i feel
00:36:28
Speaker
also we're getting to the age like i know alice iss and i school is definitely helping with this is like we're getting to the age where like cra are possible like she's yeah she understands that there's like a plan and like you know so i'm kind of excited to enter that realm because before like crafting she was like what the fuck is this like i know so i know so yeah same yeah great they're like getting pretty smart you know what i mean like and he and i was telling canda like he's
00:37:02
Speaker
playing pretend now where he's always like kind of played independently but i hear him with his stuffed animals like he did it in the car today and he was like talking to them and it's just so funny like what he picks up on from me and chris like i'll be like you wanna to go to timeout little bear no like all that me i'm like i say that a lot but he just like you um this one's so and need to keep this in mind
00:37:33
Speaker
not rushing your kids just that wait i just saw i just saw a video about this yesterday and it was like the rate of kids that developed anxiety from parents with like ah with who are rushing who are rushing everything it's like that's how kids learn to be anxious aye but is synchrones as in like you know when you have like a family photo shoot and it always ends up in a frickin fight
00:38:07
Speaker
because everyone's in a rush to get out the door have the perfect hair perfect outfit and that's why like everyone always jokes like oh l lo l like yeah we're smiling at the camera but we're all we're like in a huge fight and everyone was throwing a handy hands like yeah like actually like behind the scenes it's all a facade yeah it's like and i think about like getting out the door at daycare like do i need to be there at any certain time not necessarily unless i have like an eight a m meeting but yeah i'm like wow what is
00:38:38
Speaker
ah frickin rush and i think yeah a lot of this could be tabled by preparing the night before like going totally hacking the lunches getting everything prepared you not necessarily feeling so rush maybe putting out the outfits the socks the shoes like what they're gonna wear it'll take a lot of that off of your plate yeah definitely smiling at your kids smile at them instead of snapping
00:39:07
Speaker
okay but like before you say something angry just like
00:39:14
Speaker
ah yeah get the psychology of this though haven't you heard like just the physical motion of smiling can trick your brain into like being happy so i kind of get the psychology of this i do although i think that if someone were to film me doing it i would be like that it scary i'll practice it tonight you like not that mom needs help this is working late so um i'll say like two more things one of them being taking time for yourself which is
00:39:45
Speaker
kind of like what you said yeah totally it's so hard to do and and you almost have to force yourself to do it like i had the kids chris had a twelve hour shift yesterday and the afternoon went by so fast for me just because like i haven't really been with them a ton like i was gone for a whole week i enjoyed just playing with them i like put all the chores aside i closed my laptop i was like um just going to be present and i'm going to play which is another thing playing with your kids
00:40:17
Speaker
instead of trying to control yeah control the situation but and the afternoon went by so fast because i just leaned in and played kitchen played with the snake let them go down the slide like we went on a walk like it just flew by and i was like what yeah wasn't after noon i kind of feel that way about yesterday too and i know like i said i know i was just out of town so i think that's probably why but like i had the best day with them yesterday like we had
00:40:51
Speaker
such a fun day which just as a testament to actually taking time for yourself because like i truly came back a better mom like alice literally looked at me yesterday and was like mom today was so fun i was like
00:41:07
Speaker
so sweet she is a frank and sweetie ah so cute but yeah it might be the combo of them missing you you know and it's it's you don't even realize it but you're so much more present and it's crazy like how ah you don't snap is easy once yeah once you lean in and and do the things but have you done or have you ever seen the concept online of a yesterday talked about that before
00:41:41
Speaker
i remember you talking about that i mean i think that's i think every little thing like i want ice cream ah yeah yeah i think it's probably better when they're older like when they can like you know but because it on it's like yeah like you i'm i'm interested in that concept to like c i want to do that at some point where it's like no matter what they ask i say yes i mean within realm of safety and like
00:42:12
Speaker
yeah know i'm not goingnna you know but i'm kind of interested to see what that would be like feel like grayden would be able to grasp that now there's a lot of things where he has grown this past year that i'm like wow we really couldn't have done that before like that would have been a trigger for him like yeah um like we were just talking about facet timing while i was gone like before he would have like really been super sad like not understood where we were that was alice st this trip it was bad to hang up and
00:42:46
Speaker
say bye see you later and like i have rap some of his birthday presents and i have them on the dining room table and this morning like i was able to show them to them before new a i would have had to hide them he would have had a complete frickin meltdown that he couldn't open them right away but instead he was like so excited and he tells me he goes not yet not yet and i'm like so cute but he's like and he's getting very mature
00:43:17
Speaker
not completely material but yeah but and i'm just like wow he's so big crazy so crazy i know oh well they' are little sweeties honestly but i think i don't know i'm interested there's a couple things i would love to learn from our audience like how do you like choose joy in those hard hard moments like what does that look like for you and then i'm also going to tap our amazing audience for
00:43:50
Speaker
um like fun ideas like activity ideas could be something outside could be a craft could be ah you know random activity what are some things that you have done that have like changed a moment or changed a day because as i have like i said four or five or i don't know how many weekends left of this like i want to plan ahead too i would yeah like ah rainy day guide like if you do have a solo weekend like what is something you do and
00:44:24
Speaker
i know we just had our fall episode but like there are so many like fun things to do in the fall i know ah pumpkin patch is goingnna take up a lot of time one weekend like that's such a good idea you know and yeah just a rainy day guide tell me what you're doin i would love that too just in case i love you i love you i hope you choose joy today
00:44:55
Speaker
okay all right we got to end this goodbye bye bye thank you so much for being a part of our mom group chat new episodes drop every tuesday and don't forget the group chat is blowing up on our instagram page so make sure you're following along over there all right gotta go my toddler just put something in her mouth