Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Vladdy Daddy #1: Into the Fog and Blood
49 Plays5 months ago
Our party finds themselves lost and stumbling in Barovia, not that they know that... One fight down, so many more to go.
Intro/Outro Music: https://pixabay.com/music/introoutro-stomps-and-claps-percussion-and-rhythm-141190/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rosecoloreddaggers/
Twitter: https://x.com/daggers_rose
Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/rosecoloreddaggers
Recommended
Transcript
00:00:00
Speaker
I started making coffee in the morning because I figured out I looked I googled I went on my little phone and I typed in my little Google search bar and I went how to make McDonald's caramel frappe and then I went first link click tried it and it was like one serving it was half a cup not one sir that is not one serving sir and then i was like first of all who are you serving a child a baby not me that's for sure so i was like okay so we're gonna just make a little more and we're gonna see how that goes and i was like okay little little things so i i have changed it and i've tweaked it and i've got it to my liking except today i put too much caramel in it so i was getting just chunks of caramel syrup because it didn't properly blend
00:00:46
Speaker
which let me tell you texture wise is very gross. It is not pleasant. It reminds me of when I was a child in kindergarten and I thought there was a booger in my milk and I refused to ever drink a milk from school ever again. In fact, I don't even I wouldn't even eat lunch at school, mostly because it sucked, but also because you that experience traumatized me. Anyway, so this week, I've been making my coffee in the morning and then I got this drink mix for like hydration and electrolytes because I'm pretty sure I have pots and I don't drink enough water frankly. So I'm like, we're gonna try this. And I've been feeling so much better all week. It gets to the three to five girl nap time and I'm not ready to nap. I'm like, oh wait, it's insane. I've never felt this way before. I went to the one where I was like getting some stuff
00:01:41
Speaker
ah for my coffee and I was like, oh, I'm almost out of my magnesium gummies because I have sleeping issues and I can't sleep well. And so magnesium gummies are supposed to make me have better sleep quality. And I was running out and they did not have the kind I got the first time. So I went, I was like, okay, you don't have the flavor I like. What else do we have? And I have this, I got these calm gummies that literally they look like they should have weed in them. Like the, Oh my God. Is this a strawberry lemonade? and Yeah, it's the raspberry lemonade. Oh, yeah, no, those are so those very delicious. They look like they should have weed in them. But so I literally so i had one, I tried them for the first time and I was like, this tastes super familiar. And I couldn't place my finger on it. And then yesterday, I'm taking them for bed and I'm like, oh my god, these tastes like the black cherry Mike's hard lemonade.
00:02:37
Speaker
I was like, wait, you're wrong. I know. I was like, oh, my God. That's why these are good, because so that was like the only thing I would drink. But now I've had them so often that I can't stand the taste anymore of like the actual drinks. I can handle these. and ba Babes, we're started. Oh, we are. Babes, this is the cold open. good All right, losers. Get in. We're playing the indie. Good job! Yay! Okay. You want a medal?
00:03:22
Speaker
Hi, I'm Sarah, and I'm playing the DM. Hi, I'm Ray, and I'm playing a sea elf druid.
00:03:31
Speaker
Say the line! Hi, I'm Yeston. I am playing a rogue Stout Tafling. Hi, I'm Nott, and I'm playing a human Hexblade Warlock. Before I get into what Emerus is doing, the woods are quiet this night. and the air grows chill. Your fire sputters as a low mist gathers around the edges of your camp, glowing closer as the night wears on. By morning, the fog hangs thick in the air, turning the trees around you into gray ghosts. Then you notice that these aren't the same trees surrounding you as the night before. Emerus.
00:04:14
Speaker
As you're walking home from a long, tiresome shift at the edge of Lance Pub, you get this eerie feeling that someone is watching you. Can you go ahead and roll a perception check for me? That is an 18 plus zero. So 18. All right. So, something seems different about this fog. It almost feels oppressive and threatening, completely different than the fog that you are used to. And possibly, it feels slightly magic in origin. Anything you want to do? I think I'll walk slowly towards it, I think is the best idea. I think it's in the direction of home, although I can't really see which way is which at the moment.
00:04:59
Speaker
slightly more cautious because of the fog you make your way through the forest when you notice a small creature a badger that seems extremely familiar to to tiffin your animal companion running deeper into the woods uh can you do an insight check for me of course uh so that's yeah just 13 You clearly see this is Kefin. You start sprinting towards Kefin. And as you do, you notice that the woods around you suddenly get extremely quiet. So unlike how it normally is, where even at the time of night, there is always a noise from different animals moving around the area. The next thing you notice is the trees. What were once low hanging oaks and palms quickly turned into massive birch.
00:05:51
Speaker
and fir trees that towered over you, seemingly for miles. Finally catching up to Keffen, who was sniffing at sniffing around at the base of a tree, you pick him up and take stock of your surrounding. The air is crisp and cold, almost chilly after spending years on the humid coast. The fog seemed to clear up in front of you, but as you turned to go back the way you came, the fog was so thick it almost seemed like a wall. What would you like to do? Oh, Kevin, I don't think we got lost on the way back here. You ran off. it God. Uh, do I see any buildings or anything around any structures? You just see trees. You can kind of make out trees in the fog, but it's still, it seems like the air around you is clear and then you have this thick wall of mist. Do you want to try and go through there and see if you can break through? Yeah, try and go back. This is not a nice place to be. It doesn't feel good.
00:06:50
Speaker
So as you go through the fog, you stumble your way through for several feet before it spits you back out the way you were facing. So you're right back where you started. What is this? I'll just carry on in the direction I was going, the general direction of where home would have been. All right. So as you make your way away from the fog, you come across a campfire with an unusually blue elf camped out by a river. And Ray? Hi, I'm Barbie. I'm kind of, I got a little lost. And now I'm here.
00:07:33
Speaker
sounds quite similar to myself what's your name i didn't even ask your name oh silly me i'm barbie yes i did get that barbie my name's uh my name's emris emris cool what's what's this little guy's name we don't have those under the water no this is a this is a badger do you know what a badger is I literally just said we don't have those under the water. so no okay Is he a fish? No, he's a badger. Then why would I know him? I've never met him before. No, clearly. But this is keffin Kevin. This is my badger. No, not no caffin Kevin. Kevin.
00:08:20
Speaker
fin like you know you know sea creatures have fins i have fins i well i don't have fins sometimes i have fins it depends i can't really have fins now that i'm surrounded by all this dirt and all these like big trees but sometimes i have fins are you one of those shape shifters i don't know for what you mean i would never i just i feel as though it is less shifting shapes and more being true to myself So wherever you go, you change to that thing? No, no. um It's more of like i have ah I have a lot of freedom and I have a lot of choices, but fish can't breathe on land. I don't know if you know that. Fish kind of can't, and they only breathe water. So how are you a fish? Sometimes.
00:09:13
Speaker
then okay well but i'm not right now no clearly because you can breathe on land yeah yes yes i'm not dead no you're not i presume you're not dead no i am very much alive i know my complexion may make it seem like i am dead but i'm not you just you just look quite blue you you look sickly almost yeah i get that a lot and you said you don't know you just happen to be here Yeah, I kind of just go places. Why did you come to this one? I got lost going to places. Was it the chance through any fog? Oh, ah you know, I do enjoy fog, because you know, it's water. um So yeah, I'd say yeah, I do tend to go towards water. I don't know if you could tell I'm from the ocean actually. Yeah.
00:10:10
Speaker
But I kind of just came out of the ocean and now I've been lost ever since. So like, do you think fog is how I got here? Like in the big scheme of things or like in like the past few days? Cause that's a very different question asking me how I got here. Yeah. I guess to here specifically. Then yes, fog. Okay. Yeah. Same. I like to be surrounded in fog and water. isn't is there Is there any water nearby? I haven't found any yet. Have you seen anything else? I've seen trees and dirt. There's a lot of dirt. Okay. All right. Because it is late at night. You guys want to take a long rest real quick? Please. Yeah, I need it after that. Can I sleep but next to Kevin? Kevin and no. Like like the dog and overcooked. Don't know what that is.
00:11:03
Speaker
you have youhut wait You haven't seen Kevin from Overcooked? The game? No, I haven't played it. You haven't even watched any? Wow. You need some education. Oh my goodness, I love Overcooked. It's a cooking game if you couldn't tell. I've heard of it, I just haven't played it or seen it. Well it has a dog and his name is Kevin. He's the Onion King's dog. Of course. So who would like to take first watch? I guess Barbie can. All right. Barbie is too hyped up on energy. She's just met a person, like she's happy. All right. Can you go ahead and take a quick perception check? Or Ray? You got it. Shlay. Perception. Oh, I forgot that Barbie's very wise. Really? Really?
00:11:56
Speaker
I know, shocking. 23. All right. As the night progresses, you make out... No, I don't.
00:12:08
Speaker
the You make out things in the distance. And you get this eerie feeling that something might be watching you for a quick second. But it's over as soon as you feel it. And that's pretty much it. Cool. That was weird. At least they weren't watching me for a slow second. Then I would have been worried. All right. Now, Emrys, do you mind taking a quick perception check? Mm-hmm.
00:12:42
Speaker
Much like Barbie's, your watch went uneventful. You didn't see much. You might have saw like something moving in the woods, but it was over as quick as you saw it. I have a super important question real quick. Does Kevin get a watch? Uh, he doesn't have any stats apart from the health. Not yet. oh I'm thinking about making a character sheet for Kevin. That's very important. Kevin needs a character sheet. Cause he's getting armor later. Badger armor. Oh my God. That's going to be so cute. I can't wait to draw Kevin. Above table. I have an idea. Cause this is a honey badger. It's not an American badger. What if slowly he's corrupting to American badger and becomes more vicious?
00:13:32
Speaker
action oh my god i think i have speak with animals maybe could you imagine him going from a british accent to an american accent do i have no i don't have to speak with animals yes who am i i'm a druid all right if i okay super quick question very important if i shape ship wild shape into a badger can i talk to kevin yes i will keep that information for later i'll have to try and think of an accent for him i have to go from like very posh british to like a transatlantic accent to like to my my inter interpretation of america do the love island do go go live love island
00:14:21
Speaker
It's fucking muggy, mate. Fucking muggy. I could probably, I could try that, yeah. Do you want to watch Move Island so that you can get the accent down? I know the accent. I know the accent. i've heard There's people around that I i hear talk a lot. Now that it's next morning, would you guys like to vent your force following towards the flow of the river or against the flow of the river? Well, as a sea elf, you know, I know a lot of things. I feel like Barbie would know that rivers, at the top of them, that though away from the current, there's gonna be a body of water, right? Logic. Barbie loves water. I don't know if you could tell. She's going towards the water, unless that is the wrong decision to make. It doesn't matter which way, because it's you're crossing a bridge anyway. Okay, I'm going up the river then.
00:15:18
Speaker
Okay, you can follow me if you want. I'm going. Okay, i get I will follow. As you follow the river. to the base of a canyon, at the far end in which a great waterfall spills into a pool, billowing forth clouds of cold mist. A great stone bridge spans the canyon, nearly 1,000 feet overhead. And you are now at Zerv Falls. Now, would you like to take the high road? Following, like, going across the ridge? or
00:15:55
Speaker
Would you like to continue following the river? Can we see anything across the bridge? It looks like there is a figure on the other side of the bridge. But you can't tell, because it is 100 feet across. How deep is this river? It's not that deep, but but you are at, you're almost to where the waterfall, like, it's going fast, basically. these rapids so it would be a bad idea for Barbie to jump into the water it would be a really bad idea you also don't know what creatures are in said water they're not any worse than Barbie that's for sure I don't know they might taste funky oh that's fair
00:16:52
Speaker
okay i'll cross the stupid bridge all right as you cross the bridge you see the figure like thing and as you approach his eminem following me i guess so yeah they're like 10 feet behind though and as you cross that bridge and you find the figure you realize it is a statue the statue seems Almost too lifelike and it had has this great big sword in its hands I forgot what type of sword you have in your hand big ah It's uh, it's technically like by like the books. It's a long sword, but I was thinking of flavoring a more like a bastard sword If you know one of those look I have no idea a bastard
00:17:43
Speaker
Yeah, basard it's kind of like a longsword, but the handle's a bit longer, which can allow for two-handed use, and they're usually a bit longer and are better for like long like longer reach attacks and thrusting. There is Nott's character. Do you want to do a full introduction? Yeah, sure. Standing before you is what looks like an old stone statue clad in what seems to be ancient scale male armor, or at least something you haven't seen in a very long time. One arm being an open hand, the other one brandishing a long, still relatively shiny bastard sword with a curved hilt and a long thin steel blade.
00:18:27
Speaker
But as you pierce your eyes through the fog to look at the face, you've noticed that there's actually a hole in the statue. And with it, you can see one piercing blue eye that seems to be living. And as you listen, you can hear a muffled voice behind the stone. My eyesight fails me. Who crosses against me on thine bridge? Hi, I'm Barbie. And Barbie, so that would everyone can just, now that we've all met, is, like I said, a sea elf druid. She has pale blue skin, but it's not super blue in the sense of like, oh, clearly this is a sea elf. It's more of a really pale blue,
00:19:15
Speaker
so that it looks like she's just like slightly weird. It's kind of given uncanny valley like just that's not normal skin but also it kind of looks like normal skin. She has long silver hair that is half up half down into like little pigtails kind of. So she's got cute little pigtails. She has like her ears are like this like wet like the bottom of her ears are like the scallopy kind of thing of like
00:19:46
Speaker
They look like fish ear vibes. She is wearing a little peasant top with a waist cincher and these little shorts and thigh-high boots because she's sleigh. And she has a trident strap to her back and two hand axes on her hips. Oh, and her eyes are dark blue. and just to get a picture of M-Risk going. He is a typical built style halfling, very unkempt facial hair but perfectly messy hair just for casual so he can get up in the morning and hair to work. He is wearing a very dark red long-sleeved cotton shirt with
00:20:30
Speaker
a very utility heavy jacket over the top so pockets sewn in there's some belts going across and he is also wearing similarly customized cargo trousers with pockets sewn on the bottoms cropped basically because he had to cut some longer human sized trousers to fit him and just some some comfy boots comfy walking boots on Barbie also has, like, pouches strapped to her side so she can hold her trinkets. I also forgot to say, she is 5'1". She is a short little gal, but she has some big energy. And I believe Emrys would be not sure the usual height of a halfling, but around a similar height, I'd say. Huh, that's tall for a halfling. I guess so. You can see over the bar pretty well.
00:21:28
Speaker
Fair enough. Well, my character here, Zolt stands at about 5'10". So I guess I am a decent head's height above. It's just so funny. It is this one guy but that's very stone, very much stone. And then just to like a little yippie, like Chihuahua. And just like this very small, it's giving like a wiener dog vibes of like just grump, like a grumpy wiener dog. if you know what I mean, if like what they, their're their're their face. I think he prefers the name Dachshund. Oh, yeah. Dachshund? Dachshund. Dachshund. I don't know how, wiener dog. This is an explicit podcast, I can say that. Oh, make sure to put 18 plus not safe for work in the title of it, and because we just said wiener once. Okay, so now three times. We just said wiener a few times.
00:22:27
Speaker
You keep breaking the counter up, you're gonna bump up a raise rating. Yeah, it just keeps getting up, but getting higher every time we say it, so that now it's at like 24.
00:22:39
Speaker
Peggy, 24. Peggy!
00:22:43
Speaker
no No, no, no. i Great now. Now it's 25.
00:22:50
Speaker
It's too easy. Yeah, it was right there. Low hanging fruit. Alright, so back to dle your name was ah Barbie. Yes. ah Bar. yeah B. B. A. H. R. B. E. E. Bar. B. Yes. Oh, your accent is so nice. Bar B. Many thanks, I suppose. who Who is this other one? Oh, that's Eminem. Eminem. No, no, no, my name, my name's Emrys. That's what I said. No, no, it's not.
00:23:36
Speaker
Yeah, and ah who who are you? You're a statue? My name? Give me a moment. I must think.
00:23:50
Speaker
I can remember Zolt. Yes, that is who I am. I am Zolt. Gigi! No. Yes, that's how you know we're friends because I have a nickname for you. I sense you all are wanderers far from this place, are you not? Yeah, I'm kinda lost. Similar, similar thing here. I've just walked through some fog and now we're near this river. Hmm. Well, I don't remember this place looking like this. Granted, I don't remember much.
00:24:30
Speaker
But I might be able to help you get to civilization, if you so, please. That sounds good. I like friends. Yes, pat on this road lies a village, the village of Barovia. I can take you there. I have matters I need to take care of. Although I can't remember what they were. but I can show you the way that I do remember much, I believe. You're so funny, Gigi. And ah you can walk? Oh, ah yes, I can. I can understand the confusion. I'm a man covered in looks back at the front of backs with hands stone, but there is flesh under this somewhere. Is there a yellow brick road nearby?
00:25:25
Speaker
who No. I don't think we could paint the bricks yellow. Aww. They're just gray. I think there are other things we could use to make them yellow.
00:25:38
Speaker
What? Like what? Piss. The blue one is confusing. Yeah, I agree with you, Zoe. What? Did you guys notice? Is this a disease? Are you disease? Not that I know of. I haven't seen a therapist. How about let us talk while we walk instead of on this bridge? And as you guys venture force,
00:26:11
Speaker
you notice a bit of smoke and notice that there is an encampment off into the distance. However, before you can can get too far down the road, you hear a low growl as four zombies claw their way up out of the ground. Can you guys roll initiative?
00:26:37
Speaker
Okey-dokey. I suppose 13. Oh, no Oh wait, are we using the digital dice or can we use like fis I forgot I have my Barbie by That is true. Thank you for letting me use my physical dice I do love them the most and I'm glad you can trust me not to fall forgot I am not off you Have to use my Barbie guys. Should I reroll or do you want to just keep the 13? You can reroll I Got an 11 One of the the zombies rolling that one. Oh my God. yeah Let me get this in my mic. Uh, I rolled a two, which makes it a four. Emerus, what was your initiative? Uh, it was nine plus two, 11. Barbie? Four. Um, not.
00:27:32
Speaker
ah Mine was actually also an 11 and 9 plus 2 so I guess we could try to both roll and see who just gets Yeah, it's a 10 you're going first, but christmas toughness Oh, come on, all right, I'm again. no All right again again 15 thank you guys you have done seeing that ten pop up so
00:28:03
Speaker
And before we start this fight, I will shoo Kefin away to go hide behind a tree. I will protect Kefin with my life. I put his name in all caps on my notes. Did you spell it right? Kevin, yeah. C-E-F-I-N. C? Yes, that's what I've been saying. His name is Kevin. I don't know what you're on about. Barbie speaks only in nicknames and unfortunately for you, they have been decided. That is a weird spelling and I don't, it doesn't exist to Barbie. Barbie is saying, Kevin, you are M&M and not is Gigi. There's no G in my name. I'm spelling it with a J. Gigi. But it starts with Z. What?
00:29:02
Speaker
it's it's a z oh oh well you're jishi already so at the top of the ground zombie one as he makes his way out of the ground tries to slam into amaris's character does a 14 hit it does all right so that will be 1d6 plus one damage sorry that's a five i'm sorry ah okay oh jesus christ so jolt it's your turn
00:29:52
Speaker
All right, cool. That's okay. Are there any like zombies? Yeah, me so you'll you are right next to Emrys and then zombies two three and four are like almost out of the ground. They're up to their shins in dirt right now. All right, cool. Then in that case, I will just make a attack with my sword against the zombie. Ooh, very nice. That is looking at the damage I have here. That is 11. Oh, wow. All right. Yeah. Emma, it's your turn. OK, I'm just going to pull my short sword out of its sheath on my waist and just try to slash at the the one that's just hit me as well. All right, go ahead and roll. 18. Yeah, that ah that hits even without your pluses.
00:30:48
Speaker
Alright, and any bonus actions or anything? I will step away quite as far as I can. Zombie 2 is also going to pop up out of the ground and going to try and go for Jolt. Another 15. That misses. Alright. So that's the end of Zombie 2's turn. Zombie 3, seeing that, is also going to try and make a slam. I shall be there to parry it. That's a five. I parry it! Ha! Barbie, it's your turn.
00:31:35
Speaker
for my bonus action because I am circle of the moon and therefore super awesome. I will be wild shaping into bear bee. Who is but it's the stats of a brown bear? But for flavor, it's blue, the color of her skin. And the best part about wild shaping on a bonus action and using my action to attack is that bear bee has a multi attack. What zombie is closest to me? A zombie number four. And I'm going to have this as advantage because it can't move much because it is still stuck in the ground.
00:32:21
Speaker
I'm going to bite it. And you know what? I'm going for the throat. I think I have advantage. That first roll was a nat one. Oh, yeah. And that second roll was a natural 19 plus six, 25. That totally fits. How much damage? that is seven piercing damage as you step back from biting the throat you have the trunk of throat in your mouth because it's a zombie it just damages the skin would we say that is a tick for the throat counter yes do you want to explain what the throat counter
00:33:15
Speaker
is goingnna be I feel like the throat counter in and of itself of the name is very self-explanatory. Especially within this context. I'm literally writing in my notes, I got my first throat. Don't take that out of context. Okay, I will attack again with my claws as I am a bear. So that is 5 plus 6, 11 to hit. Yep, that hits. Oh, thank goodness. All right. This dice is my Barbie dice, but it is not serving me well. It's blue and silver. It's perfect. That is 10 damage. 10 damage. All right. So now it's zombie zombie number four. After the absolute beating it just took, it's going to try and win against Barbie.
00:34:09
Speaker
No. Does a five hit. It does not. All right. And that's the end of that turn. So back to the top of the round. Zombie one is going to go and try and take a hit at Jolt. Does a 12 hit. No, it does not. All right. That's the end of that turn. Jolt, it's your turn. All right. Awesome. Which it was a zombie one that I attacked. Yes I Shall attack him once again go ahead with my sword. Let me roll that for you there That's that's a crew How you want to do it
00:34:58
Speaker
so uh okay it's like all right i think i get these old joints working again as i like try to go for like a wide swipe of the blade taking the zombie's head clean off and i have had to immediately immediately return back to form so then i can defend myself against these other two because that was my turn and that was that zombie one is gone emmers I'd like to pull my light crossbow off of my back, load up a load up a bolt. So do you want to target Zombie 2, 3, or 4? And I will say you can tell Zombie 4 is very rough. Okay, I'll aim at the Zombie 4. Is it an 8 hit? Yeah. 7 damage. How do you want to do this? Right between the eyes is where the bolt goes.
00:35:51
Speaker
And as you do that, the zombie kind of collapses back down. So there's only two zombies left. And zombie number two is going to attempt to make a slam at Jolt. That is an nine. I take it if it's not hit. I know it does not. All right. And zombie number three, it's going to take a hit at Barbie because that's the closest.
00:36:23
Speaker
Bear B does a 14 hit. Yeah, yeah, it does. Seven damage. And now it's your turn. ah What zombies are left? Zombie two and three. Three is the one that just hit you. All right, I'm going after that jerk. Little jerk wad. Bite in his throat. Oh, I thought that was a two. It's a nine. That's a 15 to hit. That hits. 11 damage. 11 damage. All right. That's 12 to hit. 12 to hit. Yep. Well, that first roll was a one. and the second roll was a one so that's six more damage girl why do my dice hate me jolt it's now your turn lovely so there's not only two or like one there are two zombies left zombie two is the closest to you zombie three is right next to bear bee all right then so there there is like one which one was right next to you number two
00:37:17
Speaker
I shall make a sword thrust against him. That is a 18 to hit. That is nine points of slashing damage. Yes, I will pull another bolt out of, I guess the belt, one of the belts that I have on and load it back up and I will aim for that zombie number two again. Don't you get flanking from that? because you're attacking something i'm like that's attacking me and I'm attacking it. That's right, and you're a rogue. That's how that works. So you get sneak attack. 25 to hit. Yeah, that hits. So that is eight overall. They are both looking very rough. ah So zombie two is going to attempt to, again, body slam Joel. So the 13 hit.
00:38:14
Speaker
No, it does not. All right, so that's the end of his zombie number two's turn. Zombie number three is going to attempt to hit Bearby. No. All right, so that is a 15 to hit. Yeah, that hits. A four. After that, it is your turn, Bearby. Yes. All right, I'm going after this fucker. That's a 18 plus six, a 24. It hits. I have hate on my side. I'm going for his throat again. that's six damage well you only needed five so yeah do you want to do this i'm ripping out this man's throat all right i'm ripping it as you clamp down on the throat and rip back a cascade of gore just drips from the wounds those wood i got the blood all over my face my my mom my bare maw maw and the zombie just
00:39:14
Speaker
Crumbles where it's standing. I have another attack So I'm going for the last one standing. That's a nine to hit. That hits. Ah, sick. Whoa. That is 15 damage. Yeah, that, um, how do you want to do that one? Oh, my claws. My claws right to its throat. I'm, I'm clawing. I'm in a frenzy and I'm just going crazy. Clawing at this man, shredded into pieces. It falls to the ground and doesn't get back up.
00:39:45
Speaker
And so that is the end of your first encounter. work Now, do you guys want to loot? Uh, yeah. I'm going to change. wait you still I'm going to turn back into regular Barbie and out of therapy and the blood is still all over me. Like I am somehow weirdly drenched in blood. It's black blood too. ah oh because they Because they are decomposing. I look like I just fell into a vat of black paint. I will say though, in the future, when we do zombies, I think I might make their blood a little bit poisonous. So they do like 1d4 damage.
00:40:33
Speaker
Yeah, I get that. Doesn't doesn't work on me. Poison resistant. You just take half damage. You still take damage. Yeah. But if you get one, it's like, if you get one and you take half damage, I just, I'm not, you don't take any damage. Yeah. Yeah. So I, now that I have turned out, I'm going to take my normal little human thingies and I'm going to go w rustle it. Alright, so which one do you want? And MRS and Jolt, do you guys also want to try and loot these as well? I will go and collect my bolts that I've been fired. Barbie, which one do you want to go for first? The bitch that attacked me and didn't have the audacity to die right away. Was that three or four?
00:41:26
Speaker
I think that was four. The one that was right next to me that I had just killed. Like the first one I just killed. Okay, so that's zombie three. So you go over there and as you rummage sp through, you find a couple daggers, like two, a and two silver coins. Amaris, do you also want to loot three of yours? i Yeah, ill I'll go through number one. Alright, number one. ah Number one has two silver coins on him as well, but he also has um a couple vials of what looks like to be water. Would you like to investigate on when it might be? Nope, I'll just attach them to my doubts. Alright, not. Do you want to jolt? Do you want to go ahead and loot any of them or are you just leaving the looting to MRS and
00:42:19
Speaker
i I'm just going to leave them to the looting. I don't really dig through the corpses. How pretentious. Barbie, do you want to look at zombie number, which one? So I looked at three. M&M looked at four. M&M looked at one. So it two. Okay, I'll look at four then. Four. All right. This one also has so two silver coins. But there is also what looks like to be a very old map with some strange markings on them. And then you want the last one, Emrys? Yeah, grab the last.
00:42:57
Speaker
Alright, that one also has two silver coins. Okay, so as I am rummaging through this corpse, and I find this very weird map with strange markings I do not recognize, I'm gonna like I assume I'm like cowering over the body, so like hovering over it. So I'm gonna stand up straight. I'm gonna hold the map out in front of me, tilt it to one side, tilt it to the other side, look at it from different angles, go. Now I can't read this and throw it behind me. Oh. Okay. Does anyone wanna try and pick that up? Yes, absolutely.
00:43:39
Speaker
Abby, what are you doing? that that That's a map. You need yeah now yeah look now look that. look, there's villages over here. I can't read. no Okay, that's... You have found Farge? Yeah, look at this. Is this... No, we found a map. Is this the place that you said? Do you guys want to do any investigation checks or anything on them? Yeah, I want to try to see if I can read the map or at least understand it. So can you go ahead and do a survival check for me? Survival, all right. Ooh, that's a three. All right. All you see are just lines on the map.
00:44:27
Speaker
It kind of looks like it might lead to something, but you don't know. And there is a script that seems very unfamiliar to you, but you swear up and down you've seen it before. So like you can't read it, but you swear you've seen it before. This writing, I've seen this. I can't understand it, nor do I know what it's from. I recognize it. fa The rest of this is just lines. I mean, you could maybe read it as a map, because it looks seem like a map to me. Merce, would you like to do you a, um I'm just going to do a perception check as well.
00:45:11
Speaker
yeah yeah definitely all right um yeah i'll percept it at the end of the day aren't all maps just lines it's true but i got 17 17 might not just be a map well it is just a map but you can But you can make out that it seem you can see a line that follows a river, and there is what looks like to be a small settlement in front of you that you've already seen, but also a path that leads off of it. Perhaps the settlement that you saw has any idea of what might this map be to.
00:45:59
Speaker
so i will tell the others yeah i think it's uh down this river like you see the the place over there i think we follow this down should be okay i oh i like water all right so you guys want to follow follow the river down towards where the settlement looks like to be all right I suppose I thought that road would bring me to it. Maybe this was a word. As you make your way down, the road gradually disappears and is replaced by a twisted money path through the trees. Deep breaths in the earth are events of comings and goings of wagons. The canopy of mist and branches suddenly gives way to black clouds boiling far above.
00:46:52
Speaker
There is a clearing here next to the river that widens to form a small lake um several hundred feet across. Five colorful round tents each 10 feet in diameter are pitched outside a ring of four barrel-topped wagons. A much larger tent stands near the shore of the lake, its sagging form lit from within. Near this tent, eight unbridled horses drink from the river. The mournful strains of an accordion clash with the singing of several brightly clad figures around a bonfire. A footpath continues beyond the encampment, meandering north between the river and the forest edge. Would you guys like to go inside? I'd say so. This looks like my kind of thing.
00:47:41
Speaker
all right i like exploring as you guys make your way 12 figures i wouldn't say block your way but block the way for you or like kind of just like stop and try and get your attention yeah you can clearly tell they are drunk what would you guys like to do well i immediately upon seeing people I'm going to say, hi, I'm Barbie. The most sober of the 12 people just looks at you squinting and doesn't say anything. Very confused as to why you are, as far as they can tell, painted black. Well, then I'm going to follow up and be like, I said, hi, I'm Barbie. What's your name?
00:48:28
Speaker
Max. It's nice to meet you, Max. What are your friends' names? I love making new friends. Three clearly sober people come and say, hi, what are you guys doing in our camp? I'm saying hi. Well, hello, but why are you here? We walked here. We saw on some weird map I couldn't read. A map, you say? Yeah. Do you happen to have the map? No. Enough lying. What? I don't have the map. Yes, we... and who Who possesses it? I've got it here, guys. is Why didn't you say that? now did on and i I don't know these people. I don't think we should be giving them things that we've just found. It's just a map.
00:49:23
Speaker
It offers any consolation. We found it on a bunch of ah shambling corpses. Ah, can I see it? I tentatively turn it to face them, but keep keep hold of it. All right, so upon glancing Antus' map, um this this man knows exactly what this is and he goes on to explain. Oh, well this map is actually, it's a treasure map for a cache for several items used to slay vampires.
00:50:06
Speaker
Why would we need a map like this? I think you should go see Madam Eva. Madam Eva. So beer who is this Madam Eva? So Madam Eva, she is the eldest woman in our traveling group. She she knows things. Like what? Like the future. What could happen? That's so cool. Oh, a soothsayer. Yeah, pretty much. Perhaps you may be enlightening. well You think she glows? Well, I'm risk you have normally normally those kind of people that just trying to make a buck. So it's not always that reliable. I think it's just kind of tea leaves and things like that. How do they make a deer?
00:51:02
Speaker
well they they want to make money money she they have a mind no it's a scam is what i'm saying i assure you sir that madam Eva is no scam artist she has been doing this for decades longer than you have lived but you don't know how long we've lived clearly no more than 20 years uh excuse you i am 134 there is no way how long have i there is there is way because that is how old i am okay maybe not that's that long well just uh bring us to the madam in
00:51:58
Speaker
ah ba You make my head hurt, please. madamie Yeah, stop making his, Gigi's head hurt. That's so rude. You are doing it. I'm not touching you. How would I make your head hurt? I haven't hit it once.
00:52:21
Speaker
let's let's all right let's go going sure Madama Iva's tent is just past the bonfire in the red tent by the river. I know red. That sounds very cool. As you guys are passing the fire, you hear this older voice say talking to several of the children off to the side, recounting a story. A mighty wizard came to this land over a year ago. I remember him like it was yesterday. He stood in where you are standing, a very charismatic man he was. He thought he could rally the people of Baroia against the Devilstrad. He stirred them with thoughts of revolt and bore them to the castle en masse.
00:53:07
Speaker
When the vampire appeared, the wizard's peasant army fled in terror. A few stood their ground and were never seen again. The wizard and the vampire cast spells at each other. Their battle flew from the courtyards of Ravenloft to a precipice overlooking the falls. I saw the battle with my own eyes. Thunder shook as a mountain as the mountainside. thunder shook the mountainside and great rocks tumbled down upon the river yet by his magic he survived lightnings from the heaven struck the wizard and again he stood his ground but when the devil's stride fell upon him
00:53:47
Speaker
The wizard's magic couldn't save him. I saw him thrown a thousand feet to his death. I climbed down to the river to search for the wizard's body to see if, you know, he had anything of value, but the river had already taken him away. Sounds like that guy's not dead. We don't know. Yeah, but it sounds like it. Would you like to stop and chat? Or would you like to continue on to Madame Eva's tent? Oh, are you asking? i will thats bar and We continuing drag her with you. She is ready to chat.
00:54:31
Speaker
All right. Bring out bring out with us.
00:54:37
Speaker
fine bobby come along we're visiting the night fine And as you approach the tent, magic flames cast a reddish glow over the interior of the tent. revealing a low table table covered in black velvet cloth. Glints of light seem to flash from the crystal ball on the table as a hunched figure peers into its depth. As the current speak, her voice crackles like dry dry weeds. At last you have arrived, cackling laughter bursts like mad lightning from her withered lips. At last.
00:55:15
Speaker
Hi. You were expecting us? I have. Interesting. Who are we then? I'm Barbie. It was meant to be a quiz for her. Oh. His Everest. Oh. And Jolt Lazarus Q. So that's my last name. I have been waiting.
00:55:46
Speaker
Good to know. Well, personally, I'd quite like a sit, if you would not mind. She gestures to three pillows that are sitting right next to the table. Have a chair. Alright, I'll sit on one of these pillows, I presume. ye Is one of them blue? Like a dark faded blue, yeah. Wonderful. I sit on the blue one. All right. ah I'm going to stay standing and I'm going to pick up Kefin as well into my arms. When was that there? He's been following us. didn't You haven't met Kefin? Oh, no, I haven't. Kefin, is that? Yes. Yeah, no, it's Kefin.
00:56:43
Speaker
What is it? A badger?
00:56:48
Speaker
Hmm. I don't remember badgers looking like that. I was confused at first too. They've always looked like this. Weird. Anyhow, so... What have we been brought here for? She just looks at you shuffling her deck of Taricah cards. Tarot cards? No. Taricah. Oh. Yeah. It's different. Just shuffling her Taricah deck. You have been brought and her voice drops to near a whisper.
00:57:31
Speaker
to free us. Would you like your fortune read? Sure. You look pretty free already. You're traveling. We might be free, but the rest of the people aren't. And we all answer to Masters. And as she does that, she starts laying five cards down in a sort of like a cross. I'm assuming we pick a card. Is that how this works? No. Fate picks the card. Do you talk to fate often? Quite. I have seen many years. How many? Because clearly... Bobby, let the woman work. At the ages. It's not polite to ask a woman's age.
00:58:24
Speaker
Well, the guys outside asked for my age because they didn't believe I was 134. Younglings aren't very polite anymore. And with that, she s flips over card one and it reveals a beggar. And she says, a wounded elf has what you seek. He will part the treasure to see his dark dreams fulfilled. Then she goes and reaches towards the second card. and flips it over to reveal a druid. It's me, a five of glyphs. An evil tree grows atop a hill of graves where the ancient dead sleep. The ravens can help you find it. Look for the treasure there. Is that the treasure this map was on about? No. Oh, so it's just a random treasure map.
00:59:18
Speaker
Yet she flips over card three to reveal a two of swords, a paladin. I was a sleeping prince, a servant of life, and the brother of darkness. The treasure lies with him. I do look at Zoltz at that.
00:59:38
Speaker
What? Nothing. Flipping over card four reveals the beast a werewolf holds a secret hatred for your enemy use her hatred to your advantage enemy of my enemy i suppose but who is the enemy and then flipping over code five look to great heights find the the beating heart of the castle he waits nearby i didn't know castles had hearts everything has a heart if you look hard enough it's not how it works who are you to question her
01:00:18
Speaker
Where's your proof? My proof is in logic. Okay. None of this seems any type of logical. Does it seem logical that I turn into a bear? Yes, you're a druid. I don't follow your logic. I thought you were just a shapeshifter. You're one of those tree wizards. I don't really deal with trees. Animals are more my thing, you know?
01:00:51
Speaker
of those four Oh no, but I don't like the forest. You asked. You make less and less. I like the water, bro. Can't you look at me, Gigi? I'm blue. not Yes it is. We're friends. I call my friends by all of their nicknames.
01:01:13
Speaker
What are the rest of the cards? Oh, that that was all the cards.
01:01:18
Speaker
oh And she just sits there watching, thinking carefully of what to say. For every move is watchd watched. Watched? Who would take you? Vexes me. The Devil Strahd. She whispers. That. is who controls Farovia. That is who you were called by fate to destroy. Do you remember any of that, Zolt? Have you been here a while? And with that, when you hear the word double-strad, Zolt, you feel a little bit more looser.
01:02:06
Speaker
Your hands, as you look at your hands, the finger up until the knuckles, slowly the stone melts away. And a memory of a man with piercing red eyes standing before you pops into your head before it's gone just as quickly as it arrived.
01:02:38
Speaker
I... memories. I remember some deviled straw. I remember gazing upon him and his crimson eyes. But the rest is hazy. But I have met this devil. Everyone knows has met this devil. Us, Vistani, are called upon to help him every month. We can never be free of him until he's gone. Everyone else in the camp sees him as a godlike figure, but only I see the devil that he is. um So we're gonna kill this guy, right?
01:03:27
Speaker
I don't really see why. like He's evil. He controls Barovia. And what effects does that have on us? Well, you would like to get back to the pub, would you not? Back to your life.
01:03:50
Speaker
Okay, I suppose. Do you not like your life? I mean, it's further away from everything there, so it's not too bad, huh? You say that until you wake up with a vampire in your room? Yeah, I suppose that wouldn't be as good. Yeah. Plus, there's no large bodies of water here, really. So, like, this place kind of sucks. You're right next to a very big lake, ma'am.
01:04:23
Speaker
it This is a drop in the bucket compared to the ocean, okay?
01:04:31
Speaker
I can feel my fingers again. You can feel them before? Wonderful. No, there was a rock, but now there isn't. High five? What?
01:05:05
Speaker
Thank you for listening to the first episode of Rose Colored Daggers. Our plans to upload the current campaign every other Saturday, and occasional non-D&D episodes in the weeks off. For example, the first bonus episode will be a discussion about the show Bridgerton with Ray and Sarah. You can find us on social media, at daggers underscore rose on Twitter, and Rose Colored Daggers on Instagram and Tumblr. Please your review or rate us on whatever platform you are listening from. We are currently working on a Patreon which will include characters' journal entries and thoughts after each episode has happened. I hope you enjoy listening.
01:05:43
Speaker
i can't wait for the arc ah slowly everyone becoming friends with barbie yeah everyone want to be friends
01:05:56
Speaker
Oh, I just, I just didn't know what the, what I know. I know. that's what made it So good. I was going to say, if you give them a high five and if you hit them too hard, you will take one bludgeoning damage.