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Vladdy Daddy #13: Is This... Trauma?
11 Plays1 month ago
The paternity test is in... and so is the alcohol.
Intro/Outro Music: https://pixabay.com/music/introoutro-stomps-and-claps-percussion-and-rhythm-141190/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rosecoloreddaggers/
Twitter: https://x.com/daggers_rose
Tumblr: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/rosecoloreddaggers
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Transcript
Rory's North Dakota Trip
00:00:00
Speaker
Alright, now Rory makes sure not to mention anything about size. I won't. Whether or not it matters.
00:00:09
Speaker
ah So what I was going to talk about, I already told Sarah and David this, but I went to North Dakota last weekend to visit my sister and her baby and we went to the mall one of the days and then we were going to this one place that's like specifically for there because the guys wanted to look at guns and me and my mom and my sister and the baby all walked oh I think the baby was with us I don't know it doesn't really matter he didn't contribute to the conversation
00:00:45
Speaker
How very talk is this baby? He really is. I actually had a dream last night that all of a sudden he started talking. It was really weird. Great listening. Anyway, ah they we ah we went over to look at the hockey stuff, and we were joking around. Me and my mom were like, oh, next Christmas we'll have to get him a hockey stick.
00:01:05
Speaker
And then we went back to her house and we watched hockey that night on the TV and then we went to an actual hockey game the next day because there was a college game on. um And he is obsessed with hockey like his eyes.
00:01:23
Speaker
follow the puck like he's in it he does not stop now and when he's cranking my sister literally has to turn on the a hockey game or highlights or something for him to watch and he calms right down he watched hockey highlights for 45 minutes the other day perfectly fine she sent him sent us videos and my mom just got pictures printed out from the trip And they're from us at the hockey game. And in every single picture, the baby is looking at the ice. His eyes are on the ice. They never leave. He's up obsessed with it. So he has a little hockey, like a little like um plush, like hockey stick and puck on the way that will be arriving there like next week.
00:02:14
Speaker
because he's so cute and it's so funny that he's just he loves hockey and i'm like you gotta to go pro eventually so i can get it like a family trip because that'd be sick but yeah it's amazing and now my sister's like i'm gonna have to learn how to skate like what the hell just to keep up with him and he he's so cute though he's so cute throw that child on the ice toss him on there literally I'm like, well, at least we know what we're getting him for Christmas forever now. Aki related something. Like, it's crazy how obsessed he is. He does not look away. It's so cute. That is adorable. Oh, yeah, it's, oh, it's, he's so cute. but He's, he's just so cute. He's a little, little precious little guy.
First-Time Flying Experience
00:03:10
Speaker
We flew for the first time. That was good. That was good. I learned, I don't hate it. no flos prettyric good Yeah, it was actually pretty nice. yeah I flew to taylor ah to Knoxville loss for the first time last ah June.
00:03:32
Speaker
I don't want to be in the car ever again. It was, yeah, I was expecting it to be a lot worse, like with a lift off and touchdown. Um, cause I was expecting it like to be much of a steeper angle kind of. So after we got through that and I was like, Oh, phew, my stomach didn't drop. I'm good. Yeah. Cause I just, I hate that feeling.
00:04:01
Speaker
Yeah. Were you on a window seat or aisle? I was window, because my mom did not want the window seat. And then we ended up looking out the window like the first flight, because she was like, I can't wait anymore. I want to see. We actually had a blessing in disguise. like ah We were on the plane, and they had we're having some maintenance issues. And so we were delayed for an hour while they were sorting that out. But they didn't like say anything or whatever. it was just We were sitting there for an hour and we were so I was so tired I stayed up all night beforehand because I wanted to be able to sleep on the plane and So I was exhausted we're laying there Both of us are almost asleep by the time we start moving that I go to my mom like my anxiety is timed out like I'm tired we We've just been sitting here doing nothing. I'm not nervous anymore cuz I can't But yeah, it was pretty nice
00:04:57
Speaker
Do you have anyone clap on the end of your flight? No, thank God. Although we had awful, we had these awful football players that were on the plane the last plane to North Dakota and the first plane out of North Dakota. We ended up lining up our trip.
00:05:18
Speaker
and they are horrible. And the way back, the parents were worse. It was so bad. They were so annoying. And they were so in and Karen-esque. That part was terrible. They sucked. You say that again? Yeah.
00:05:38
Speaker
a They were all complaining, you like, oh, we're going to miss our our layover. And then they turned out they had 30 minutes. Like, bro, you're fine. Calm down. The word must not revolve around you.
00:05:58
Speaker
Yeah, that reminds me of like, I took the passenger train because we usually take the auto train ah from Florida to ah from Virginia to Florida back, whatever.
Travel Frustrations
00:06:11
Speaker
And we took the um the passenger train me and my dad last ah spring. And then like these two people came on at like 10 o'clock and me and my dad were trying to sleep and they would not shut up because one was afraid that they were going to miss because they were getting off in North Carolina or something or South Carolina and they got on in Southern Virginia and they on a passenger train they come and like they'll wake you if it's at night or they'll they'll tell you hey you're getting off at this exit
00:06:46
Speaker
And she would not shut up the entire thing. She, I was literally like, I can't sleep if it's, if it's noisy. So already having a bad time trying to sleep. They would not shut up. what is rain I can sleep anywhere.
00:07:01
Speaker
When I'm on a train, I can't because it's too jerky. so like i um like how like I can get into a light sleep, but like so that's why I can't sleep and it's noisy. But if it's anywhere else, like I can sleep in a car.
00:07:19
Speaker
Sometimes yeah I could sleep ed you anywhere. I was asleep on that plane so fast. I literally, I didn't even, A was not comfortable, but once we were actually in the air, I put the tray down, put my head down out in seconds. I swear I was so exhausted from staying up all night. It was so bad. The EP did take. The EP monster.
00:07:45
Speaker
Anywho, it's really funny. My sister, whenever like the baby has hiccups or anything, it's always the hiccup monster. Gotcha. So cute.
D&D Game Introduction
00:07:56
Speaker
Anywho, um, hate to interrupt, but how you get all we're playing D and&D.
00:08:20
Speaker
o You love to interrupt us when worry happened. You told us no politics. No. No more trumpet pressures. I think our wings. No more. I just said maybe maybe we should tone it down just a little bit. You're clipping our wings. They are hilarious. yeah I am Icarus. I am meant to fly close to the sun. They are so ableist right now. Let us be autistic.
00:08:52
Speaker
I think we can do that, but in a productive manner. No.
00:09:03
Speaker
we We can be productive and still be autistic. Says who? Tell that his way who thinks tell us to who thinks autistic people are telepathic and also the next evolution of humanity.
00:09:17
Speaker
We already knew that. Yeah, we already knew that. We're all fine. Yeah. Those are words that he said that I had to hear in my house at one point, because it's always on constantly. Saying that is a fun part of the autism group. You're pretty much. You are. You're more of that photo I sit in the group chat. You've been peer reviewed. You are. I'll probably get investigated at some point.
00:09:48
Speaker
Yeah, that's fair. I will once I no longer live in this country. I apparently when I was a kid you got a questionable no for it. So no. Oh, yeah, my sister guys notes at home. And ah she went to her like, main doctor, her pediatrician at the time. And he was like, Yeah, you should see a psychologist. It's like almost definite. And her mom just went nah.
00:10:16
Speaker
And so that was fun. Okay, now, get in losers, we're playing D and&D. I'm Ray, d um i'm ray and I forgot about this part, and I play Barbie, the CL druid. I'm Yesen, I play Amrys, a stout halfling rogue. I'm Vidad, I play Mallow, who is a damp year druid.
00:10:45
Speaker
I'm Amelia, I play a half-elf dampere rogue. And I'm Rory, I play half-orc fighter. A quick recap from last session. ah Literally all we did was a long rest, where y'all met Steve.
00:11:13
Speaker
Tara's patron and Bearby's adoptive-ish? Older brother? Uncle? Yeah. Yeah. I think older brother. Yeah, something. Male relative. Well, that's weird if you think Tara's your sister, but he is Tara's adopted father. Whatever. So I guess it's like a stepdad situation. Yeah. Yeah.
00:11:39
Speaker
yeah pa um all thirty four artists know la fary's into older men but not like that whoa not right drive rod is young enough but but steve is too old yes um that's what i meant I need to do a canonical age and listen to...
00:12:08
Speaker
I think trot. I almost said I am. but Googling how old is trot. Yeah. ah So. That makes him. He's 429. Yeah. And then Steve, he's about a thousand years old old, give or take. He doesn't remember. His sister does. He's too old. But he doesn't.
00:12:36
Speaker
he's He is like 25 at heart.
00:12:42
Speaker
oh ah wait yeah He is at heart. I'm not sure if that's better.
00:12:55
Speaker
yeah be Okay, he's the sexiest, ageless being. but ah there we go do Correct! We're gonna have to start saying not like us, but for Steve.
00:13:08
Speaker
um and But anyways, so you met Steve.
Missing Holy Relic Quest
00:13:12
Speaker
He put a hit out on Strahd because he took his Torah. And um then you guys learned that both Malo and Seveil are them peers and then the veil is important yep and steals melanin without consent here we all got a 25 gold piece bag full of child support from you guys child support that's such a funny way to phrase it
00:13:45
Speaker
Yeah. Um, I, I forgot. Did you tell anyone else about that? It's for child support or i think bills told and you said it out loud. I had a joke I was waiting to make. I said something to the effective. All I know is that this says child support and I don't think I have kids. And I, I made some sort of joke of like your dad or something. I am not a father. It doesn't stop people from calling me daddy though.
00:14:15
Speaker
Oh my god. You see our discord? That's the discord thing. No, this is not discord. Yeah, exactly. um Can we get this person banned? Banhammer. Banhammer.
00:14:33
Speaker
ah but banhammer bonk
00:14:37
Speaker
Banhammer. We need the spray bottle. Yeah. so um now now that you guys are up from your long rest and you know you have to go back to Valaki for a second but like um i highly suggest you guys go back to the church but what you guys whatever you guys want to do you can do so we're not going back to the church i I need somebody to translate this letter for me. So as long as we could find somebody that can read Barovian, I'm good. Would we know if Walter can read Barovian? Yes. All right. Let's go to the church, please. All right. So let me. Do you read Barovian? Like, what the hell was that? Yeah, that's Barovian. I only see two of you in role 20.
00:15:33
Speaker
Oh, let me open it up. Whoopsies. Oh, my God. You have food. You have water. What do you want? Your soul. She wants in my room. I just heard her throw herself against my door.
00:15:53
Speaker
That's you. OK, I think that was a sneeze. It was. And can you guys see the current picture and the three people have a foot down? three oh yes y'all are correct yeah irinas you can't really see hers because it's weird but whatever y'all okay so jespa with a jar dirt i'm gonna go ahead what was that i said i see jack sparrow with a jar of dirt that's walter yep um so as a little bit of recap um well let me pull up the description for the church
00:16:34
Speaker
So you're, you guys are now at St. Andrew's church after about a five, 10 minute journey. It's about, I'd say about eight 30 in the morning, I guess. you That's so early. Yeah. Um, but as you guys approach the slouching centuries old stone church that has a bulging steeple in the back, uh, you see, I've got a bulging steeple. Oh no.
00:17:02
Speaker
I couldn't. I couldn't not. It was right there. I know. anyhow You said the words bulging and steeple and you expected us to stay silent? I didn't expect it, but I kinda hoped. Anyway, you hoped wrong. I know. Anyway, so you see Walter and Izmark standing outside of the church. Walter has his sword out. Yeah, he has a sword out. And the bulging steeple. Oh gosh. yeah Oh no. So you see Walter and Izmark outside. Izmark is kind of leaning against ah the the corner. like like It looks like they're waiting for you guys.
00:17:59
Speaker
walter I didn't know you were packing, geez. Oh no. You just hear him sigh. He hasn't had a drink in like three days, and he you can tell. You can tell. Oh, we're ballting. Hi. Hello, Barbie. And then he kind of looks up at the rest of the group. And he you can tell he like picked up his hand and starts doing a head count. And then he like...
00:18:28
Speaker
It's like, first, who are these people and where is the result? I'm not really ready to talk about that. I'm trying this this fun thing called dissociation. If I don't think about it, um I might take this one. Don't worry. So these are these are our new friends. We'll meet the rest of the party. You got Mallow, Seveil, and Stark.
00:19:05
Speaker
I think we have. We've met this guy before. I don't think there's a way to meet Walter. No, because Walter, because you guys might be true. We left Walter in the dark. Yeah, you didn't meet Walter.
00:19:22
Speaker
We did come to the church, though, didn't we? Or is this a different church? No, you guys you guys were about to go to the church when you guys got vanished to the dungeon. I swear to God, we were in a church, yeah because we had there was like a creature. oh there were Yeah, there was a different church that you were directing at Barovia. This is Velaki, though. This is different. yeah Same denomination. Yeah. You wouldn't know. You wouldn't know.
New D&D Characters
00:19:50
Speaker
Anyways, so a quick recap for Walter for those who are A, either just joining us or B, forgot. Walter is a cleric, a nature cleric who really hates
00:20:01
Speaker
I almost said squirrels, chickens. My sister, this is my sister's character. She would hate me if I said he hated squirrels. Um, I don't know what she has against chickens though. Um, anyways, so where was I going? inside Give me one second. Um, so anyways, uh, he's like, nice to meet y'all. Um, we have a problem.
00:20:29
Speaker
We always have a problem. I have a lot of problems. Problem here, problem there. When can I ever just not have a problem? When you're dead. Okay, that's a little rude. That's life. I haven't had a drink in three days because of this. Where have you guys a been? You guys were just going to the... I don't know, the elves. There was a little detour.
00:20:59
Speaker
Um, Strahd wanted to say hello. Oh, I guess that's a reasonable detour. Yeah, we didn't exactly have much choice in the matter. Um, it was a little forced.
00:21:19
Speaker
A little. Yeah. Okay. A lot forced. He did not ask for consent. There were no options. Yeah. seems about right anyways then he turns to his mark you want to tell him where or shall i i lost what exactly what what's up well because this mark is just like he kind of gestures towards towards walter because why not well this
00:21:54
Speaker
is not as safe as we thought it was. um Apparently, the this church,
00:22:05
Speaker
its holy relic is missing, and Strahdkin waltz in any time he pleases, unless we get it back.
00:22:17
Speaker
he can and barbie starts like messing with her hair trying to pat it down like stop that i like i like playfully smack you and i'm just like stop this is weird why do you want to fuck a vampire I'm just, you know, interested, you know? Why are you interested? I keep, like, just, I keep doing it. I'm just like, stop! Now I know what it's like, you know? I have to try something new. I have some fun. Let loose a little. Okay, okay. I literally saw my, one of my friends who hated me die in front of my eyes. i Can you blame me for wanting a distraction? Yes! This is not a distraction that you want!
00:23:04
Speaker
You don't know what I want. Oh my god. i look at the Is it Walter that said he hasn't had a drink? I look at him and I'm like, if I can find wine, do you want to split it? Yes, please.
00:23:18
Speaker
yeah um Anyways, you should probably talk to Father Lucia for more details, but I think before we leave, is Mark and Irina here?
00:23:32
Speaker
We should probably fix this.
00:23:37
Speaker
um Fix what? Getting the Holy Relic back. go on He thinks he knows who took it. Oh, it was stolen. I thought it was broken. I'd like to hear your theory. so the My theory? Yes. I don't know, man. guy here oh well I I guess you're in the same boat that we are.
00:24:03
Speaker
Yeah, I traveled with these dudes back from Barovia. Walter saying, not my monkeys, not my circus. I mean, I'm still sticking with you guys because my God said you should probably stick with you, but... um So you're only hanging out with us because your God said to?
00:24:31
Speaker
I do not like this line of questioning. But you didn't you didn't answer. like Was you about the the morning glow? Oh, that guy. You're talking about you're talking about my patron or my my is a patron. What's it? What's a clerics? They could be their God, I think. My God. OK.
00:24:55
Speaker
um No, my, my, my God is Sylvanas. I like nature stuff. Oh, so it wasn't, wasn't anymore dont worry it wasn't the morning world. Oh, thank God. Morning Lord. This is more the morning Lord's church. Oh, dang it. I can never escape him.
00:25:20
Speaker
i
00:25:24
Speaker
Now, don't worry. Don't worry, um, Seville. That's one guy I will not be trying to get with. Probably for the best!
00:25:36
Speaker
Although, you should be worried Emrys is like so desperate to move. He does not know how to play hard to get. and in In this moment, Seville just kind of lets out like a really nervous laugh. i ah
00:25:58
Speaker
Desperately searching around for any wine.
00:26:03
Speaker
there I just think he's a good protector. He's done good to those people. He's not even protecting his church. Well, does someone stole it. That's not his fault. Oh, okay. Yeah, it's not his fault. The gods have been god from this land for about... How old is Charles again? I think we said like 429. Yeah, 430 years.
00:26:34
Speaker
Wow. So it's really their fault. It's what I'm hearing. ah No, I'm pretty sure I'm hearing that it it's the God's fault. Okay. And he just reaches out and just passed your head kind of, I wouldn't say condescendingly, but he's like, okay, you think that. I will thank you. I don't need your patronization. I thought you were going to say, I don't need your patronage.
00:27:03
Speaker
ah yeah cleric that they're going
00:27:07
Speaker
you Well yes because they are. If the gods were around then none of this would be happening. Then Zulp wouldn't have died and Tara wouldn't be in the hands of Strahd if they could just do their job. I think it sounds like you're just jealous that you're friends in the hands of Strahd right now.
00:27:29
Speaker
Did you not hear the first part of what I said? My friend died because they didn't do their job. This is more than just me wanting to get into Strahd's pants, which I will, by the way.
00:27:48
Speaker
Does no one have faith in I do. i do yeah i you i' just yeah it I don't have faith in that at all. Why not? Do you not think he would like me? It's not that I think you're too good for him and you would be um you would be lowering your standards a lot. Oh that's very nice of you to say.
00:28:22
Speaker
I think we should go talk to the father inside to see who he thinks stole this thing. I agree. All right. Maybe we should ask why his god isn't helping. ah As you walk in, you see Irene at one of the benches. And at the like altar, you see Father Lucian um just chilling, reading from his book. And like you also see like a couple stragglers here and there. Yeah. So you walk in and then you see Irene just chilling at one of the the benches, looking kind of bored.
00:28:57
Speaker
Um, clean polishing her sword. Um, then you see a right in front of us.
00:29:07
Speaker
Lucien. Father Lucien's again, reading his book at the altar. A few stragglers here and there. Oh, and what I was going to say that reminds me. I heard i saw the name Lucien and all I could think is Akatar. Yeah. That's also, that's also fair.
00:29:25
Speaker
I completely forgot Lucian and the horrible. It's so bad. Yeah.
00:29:35
Speaker
So anyways, what would you guys like to do? I think I'd like to talk to the priest. I'm kind of confused. I like this entire thing's just like a whoa.
00:29:47
Speaker
All right. So as you guys approach the Father Lucian, he looks up from his holy book and obviously. Why are there so many holes in it? Hey, have you seen Barovia's like economy? It sucks. Do they have some worms? Moths. What's the macroeconomic model for a Barovia's economy?
00:30:15
Speaker
um I would that someone ask David that question. Don't answer that. yeah i would not Never ask David that question. Would you like a homemade fucking stock market? Would you like it? Malaki is a little bit better than Barovia in terms of economics. However, it's still if you're poor, you're poor.
00:30:39
Speaker
I feel like that's the same, you know, everywhere. Who knew when you're poor, you're poor. Yeah. Hey, when you're here, you're family. Anyways, so I almost called him Steve because of I am Steve. Anyways, I am Groot.
00:31:04
Speaker
But anyways, Father Lucian is like, looks up and he obviously recognized both Emoryssum and Bearby. Barbie. Barbie. Bear right now. I'm not a bear. Ah, my friends. I. Hello. What?
00:31:23
Speaker
um
00:31:26
Speaker
ah Hello. Hello. Mine's introducing me to yeah the rest of your friends.
00:31:36
Speaker
uh yeah yeah we met these guys um we lost Zolt um he won't oh the Tetra dude yeah yeah the living stone well sotannny reference phrase um yeah so these guys will be joining us now uh we heard of your issue with the uh the relic texas church swords.
Relic Investigation
00:32:07
Speaker
So yes, um, the bones of St. Andrew have gone missing. The only two people that knew were me and my altar boy and you kind of gesture to a little, little dude over to the side. He's kind of like riding twice if you're being molested. You look at you like you're kind of kind of
00:32:33
Speaker
Does he blink twice? No, he doesn't. He, like, widens his eye.
00:32:42
Speaker
um Um... Jeska. That's his name. It's a weird name. bowling is Your name is weird, ma'am. What do you mean? Barbie's a totally normal name.
00:33:00
Speaker
Sure it is. It's after a sea shanty. It's famous. There's so many Barbies where I'm from. I could walk down a street, go, hey Barbie. And there would be someone there. Along with your pregnant friend Midge. Yeah. I actually do know a Midge. Her husband's pregnant. They're seahorses. That took me for a loop.
00:33:28
Speaker
That was an emotional ride I didn't think I was taking today.
00:33:34
Speaker
Yeah. You didn't expect impreg this episode, did you? I always expect impreg. Roll a 34, artists, you know what to do. Oh, um I'm putting that as a meme to use. Hold up. And it's going to be the Spanish Inquisition meme. What? No one expects impreg. No one expects the Spanish Inquisition. I feel like I'm getting like a...
00:33:59
Speaker
like a ah lobotomy right now. yeah another one I'm in your brain with an ice pick chipping away. inquisition This is what autism feels like. You cannot handle the Uber instincts of my Uber autism. Anyway, you just ate like eight billion cinso beans. Your autism's off the chart. Okay, sorry, you're they not the right kind of autistic.
00:34:29
Speaker
that joke oh a laugh right there's some more right kind of Yeah, it's the kind that ah watches Dragon Ball Z obsessively. All right. I feel discriminated against. We're going to have autism bigotry in this episode. She was like, um you should always expect the neurodivergent bigotry. You right i should know better by now. All right.
00:34:58
Speaker
Oh, I love how Sarah was like, we gotta get through this. Yeah. I, uh, yeah, I, cause we need to figure out what's going to happen at the end of this episode, depending on what you guys do. Open the crates. yeah Um, that's a terrible idea. Anyways. Yes, it is. Anyways. Yes. and i and stop i know yes and Oh my God. Yes. The only people that knew of the bones.
00:35:27
Speaker
I asked Jeska, and he did say he told somebody. I have a feeling it's- Fucking Snitch. Uh, what's his- how do you pronounce his name? I didn't actually say that. I wanna be clear. It's cannon though. You're making this- You're making this job. Yeah, it's cannon. How dare you? I think it was our, um, grave- What's his name? Or what's his- Grave robber? No. No, hold on. Rubber.
00:35:57
Speaker
Rubber. upper barbara Rubber. Rubber. Rubber. Rubber. Our groundskeeper slash. Uh. Grave digger. Yeah. Grave digger slash groundskeeper. Millivoy. Hope he's getting paid enough for all that.
00:36:18
Speaker
um Anyways. Can you say that? like In character out. that was out of character okay um anyways kind of wish it was in character now though yeah interesting reaction yeah um i i have a feeling he he told millie boy but that is just a theory a game theory thanks for watching um
00:36:54
Speaker
And I'm trying to say Yesen when he hears the name Millyboy. I keep on saying Yesen. Yeska. Sorry. You kind of see him kind of tense up when he hears his name Millyboy. So.
00:37:11
Speaker
Does anyone want to do a perception check or not perception? What's the word? hard night off um all I got passive of 10. I don't think I'm noticing it. I mean, like, no, who wants to do an, uh, invest, uh, insight check? Oh, I have a plus four actually. as is gone darbie might be wise I'm not playing the right character for an insight. So if I forgot Barbie's wise as shit, dude. yeah gonna say If a druid wants to do that.
00:37:39
Speaker
Barbies, why is this shit? I'm a fighter. I'm not noticing anything. I do have a plus four, but I have a plus four. All right.
00:38:01
Speaker
take that Rolly, Rolly, Rolly, Rolly, Rolly, Rolly, Rolly, Rolly, Rolly, Rolly, Rolly, Rolly, Rolly, Rolly, Rolly, Rolly, Rolly, Rolly, Rolly That was easy. no kid We just solved the problem. Yeah. So. I have found our snitch. If you tell, you want to ask Millie Boy what he might have done. Or if he actually took it. He is usually hanging out in the back with his his shovel. We shall ask about whether or not his wages are fair. Maybe that is why. Yeah.
00:38:38
Speaker
yeah They should be fair. Interesting. Should be. You kind of see him kind of like, he looks away and looks back at his book. Can I roll an ice inside on the priest? Yeah, sure. Who the hell do you fucking turn to? Are these wages fair? Am I about to become the communist? 21. 21? Yeah. 21?
00:39:03
Speaker
No, they are higher than what the last dude was getting paid. Or was he getting paid? Was that fair? Oh my god. Why two copper pieces a week? A week? I see why you stole a bone. Well, I mean, the economy sucks and you work for a church. There's bones you should probably sell. Of a dying religion.
00:39:29
Speaker
seems like another thing that would be solved if your god was doing his job. Yeah? You know the episode of SpongeBob where Squidward becomes homeless because he loses his job and then he just starts freeloading on SpongeBob? If you got a job and you went to that job! That's Barbie right now. Yeah.
00:39:55
Speaker
Anyways, so ah yeah, he's all in the back and then he kind of turns back to his book really quickly. Interesting. No employment. No maidens. He won't be there, though, really, because he's a robber. Why would he still be there? Yeah, it's kind of stupid to stay where you robbed. Let's go out the back and check. All right.
00:40:24
Speaker
All right. So you guys kind of see, um, it's kind of being blocked, but right here where I that's got the Minecraft sword. I'm taking a picture of these. These are going up on the tumblr. Yeah. Like I was wondering, low what the heck is going on there? Not, not get the vision, but David, that's what's going on there. Your, your handle's a little small, bud. That's the size That's the size of the Minecraft.
00:40:52
Speaker
and glad no one here I kind of did a little. I did too, but I chose to ignore it because it's kind of mean. What do you do? Nothing. It's a joke. Okay. So right right here is where you see, as you guys leave the thing, Walter's with you, by the way. He's just like still kind of grumbling under his breath about not being drunk enough for this.
00:41:21
Speaker
um You and Seveal both, Walter. Um, so he's kind of just like, yeah he's, he's just chilling with his shovel, doing what he's, he's a sleeper. What?
00:41:41
Speaker
He's actually there? Why is he- Okay. I'm starting to think that he didn't commit this crime. Okay. this bad is it is it You keep thinking that. Um... Okay. That was a little mean. What the heck? I'm kidding. It's fine. It's fine. No, I was just joking. Um, you also can- I- I- Okay.
00:42:12
Speaker
Can we agree Barbie is Daphne? Yes. Cool. Good. Probably, yeah. That was incredibly important to me. All right. So, yeah, he's kind of just chilling out in the back.
00:42:28
Speaker
um Usually the culprit does not stay. Yeah, Emrys is going to go right up to him and basically shove him against the thing. I'm gonna need you to do an intimidation check. Yeah, that's what I was going for. And I'd be like, what did you do with the bones? What did you do with the bones? It's like extra deep voice that you're putting over there. Why is it a no bones day? It's kind of funny because we're on top lane too. Can I give him the help action on this and just kind of smile and show my incisors? Yeah, sure. Or sorry, my canines.
00:43:06
Speaker
Yeah. Your insights. So how much extra is the help? I'll give you like a. Help is it is advantage. Why are we showing this to a cleric? Oh, OK.
00:43:21
Speaker
OK, well, i got five. all like Five. And I'm up with the other ah because you guys. Five. Oh, five to four. So Jesus. Oh, wow.
00:43:36
Speaker
um All right. kind of the scholars pretend you yeah He kind of pushes you back. He's like, you're just too small. Yeah.
00:43:50
Speaker
Um, anyone else want to try and intimidate him? Um, yeah, i'll I'll do it. I'll do it. I don't want to intimidate this guy. Barbie will follow your lead and show her canines, which are a little sharper. Actually, no, she'll show her canines and she will cast primal savagery on herself so they do sharpen. So he watches her her teeth get sharper. All right. In real time. I rolled a, let's see. Intimidations, kismos, so I get a plus two, so that's gonna be a 14.
00:44:26
Speaker
Okay. And what's the advantage? Yes. Okay. Okay. The first role was a two. Damn. So you kind of like, he sees both of you and he's like, Oh, okay.
Confrontation and Revelations
00:44:41
Speaker
I did take those bones, but, um, why did you take the bones? I'm big. This guy named Henry. He paid me. I need money for my sisters.
00:44:57
Speaker
Mm-hmm. What do you do with the bones? I assume he's still got them. I just gave them to him. He went to the common place. Would you say you're making a fair wage? In this economy? Yeah, but not enough. We're pro-worker rights. I put them in common. I guess that's unacceptable. Circle exactly where he lives.
00:45:24
Speaker
Okay. He's literally right next door at the coffin maker shop. Convenient. Literally next door. I might be wrong. I might be wrong. Give me one second. If it's literally right next door, I look at the rest of the party and I'm like, it's literally right next door and no one thought to check that. And they're saying that his blessing still isn't working. It's right next door. It's not like it went far. Nevermind. Sorry.
00:45:54
Speaker
DM's fault. It's on the opposite side of the town. Ah. My point still stands. sure The church, that's weird. The church is here. Why would you put a coffin maker shop on the opposite side of town? That makes no sense. Like, logistically. I'm, like, kind of mad right now. As you should be. That makes no sense. That's that bad road building.
00:46:23
Speaker
Yeah, no, like... Maybe it's so they can have it like a funeral procession. Even for the pours, you know? Who did this? i I'm gonna name drop.
00:46:41
Speaker
if um here Someone who sucks. It doesn't say who the mapping person is.
00:46:50
Speaker
Whoever drew the maps for The Curse of Strahd. Bro. Shame. Shame on you. Bad. We're shaming you. Shame. Be shame. Shame. Feel the shame. I just heard the disclaimer on this. It's actually kind of hilarious. Wizards of coast of the coast cannot be held liable for any long-term side effects of venturing into the dread realm of Ravenloft.
00:47:18
Speaker
such as lycanthropy, vampirism, and a fear of dead things, a fear of the loving things, an inability to sleep without a nightlight on, and a plus-five holy avenger under your pillow, and the unsettling suspicion that Trod is too clever to be easily defeated, and that this is all just part of some grand scheme of his to extend his power beyond Barovia. You didn't think you could escape unless you wanted to, do two did you? That's actually very clever. That's funny.
00:47:46
Speaker
But your maps are less. But your maps, seriously, what's up? It makes no sense. You could do some work. Maybe take a class. Yeah. No, I'd say I can do better in MS Paint, but no, I can't. The detail is nice. The content. Yeah, like literally, there's still the energy. There's less. Why would we put it by the freaking That's why I keep adding additions to the maps, like Minecraft swords. They're really... Yes, Minecraft swords would make this much better. yeah If you were to follow normal... Well, actually that kind of makes sense. But whatever. Anyways. The Minecraft sword to the stick, man. Anyways. So yeah, it's by the stockyard. Opposite side.
00:48:42
Speaker
I'm sorry. I just needed the money. I got like five younger brothers and sisters at home. Five total or five each. Whatever makes it, makes it, uh, see, makes you more sympathetic to me. You're going to just outright say that and instead of. Yeah, I do have younger siblings. I ain't telling you how many you got. Who is this bitch? Sorry, I'm looking at the Bruins game.
00:49:10
Speaker
so There's someone playing. I don't know who he is. So. Oh, my God, his birth place is Excelsior. Crazy. New York is this great. Minnesota. aha All right.
00:49:32
Speaker
So, um, yeah, and he got like once he says that he's like he kind of backs away. He's like, hey, what's over there? I need you all to.
00:49:45
Speaker
I'm looking away from this fucking bastard. He's not. He's going to roll. That was a four.
00:49:56
Speaker
I'm just watching him the entire time. I like yeah it's in my face and I'm like, dude, that is the oldest trick in the book. Come on. Yeah. um Bye. And he just like takes you off. Are you guys going to pursue him?
00:50:13
Speaker
I don't think we need to. He gave us the information we needed. I don't think Seveil shares that deeply. Yeah, so... Fireball! There's walls. Wait, I forgot you have the wand to Fireball too. Yeah, I do. I could Fireball. There's both. No! He wasn't hurt. I imagine he like raises his wand, like the wand, and I just kind of grab it and like, not worth it. No, Mala wouldn't do that. Mala wouldn't do that.
00:50:39
Speaker
Yeah, so. You could though. You could. All right. Blows him. Just holding a bomb at him. I could. I could. It's like waving a pistol at someone. I could. I could. This bullet's got your name on it. So. It's loaded with a name on it. Bullet with a name. Well, you hear a deep, heavy sigh come from Walter as he is like, OK, I guess we got to keep going towards the event.
00:51:09
Speaker
And he just like turns around and starts walking towards the stockyard. Cause he's been here for like three days. So he's he kind of like did a, he's seen the map once or twice. and consider Yeah. We could not.
00:51:28
Speaker
I'm kidding. I kid a kid. Yeah. So. so as you guys walk through the town you pass the town square um my mica so and you can kind of see it's getting decked out for the festival give me one second oh yeah it was the oh no my minecraft sword oh no my sword i can see yeah the festival but you can see that he that the they're they're setting up for the festival of the blazing sun which is
00:52:01
Speaker
In like three days, two days? I can't remember when I said it was, but we'll just say it's like three days away. Um, you can kind of see that people are rushing around. They're paying you no attention at all. Um, so you guys want to do anything? You just keep walking. Walter's just like plowing through. He's on the mission. He wants to finish this and get drunk.
00:52:29
Speaker
I guess we're going to keep following Walter. Honestly, I don't know. I'll just follow. All And after like about five more minutes of walking, you make it to the coffin makers house. All right. So let me pull this up one second.
00:52:52
Speaker
on my book it's not pulling up it's more of actually turning to the page what page is it there it is so this uninviting shop is two stories tall and has a sign shaped like a coffin above the door all the windows and shutters or all the window shutters are closed up tight and there is a deftly silence that surrounds the um establishment
00:53:21
Speaker
Could you imagine someone being like, hold on, let me pull this out. Let me pull it up and then opens a phone book. Just pulled out this giant phone book. This place seems inviting.
00:53:37
Speaker
Yeah, I kind of like it. Yeah. There's going to be some sort of evil contained inside knowing this realm. I hear Walker, he goes very, it's yeah, sure. And he kind of like goes up and starts knocking on the door. And as he knocks on the door, you hear, we're close, go away. I don't know. You seem pretty open.
00:54:06
Speaker
We're close, go away, you hear again. I test i guess they're closed guys. I like slowly try and turn the front door to test if it's locked. It's locked. All right. I'm going to. I said go away. Should we pick it? Should I pick the lock? Yeah, go for it. Might have a bone or two to pick with you. You hear Walter just growing.
00:54:37
Speaker
Oh, it's a good one. That's gonna be a 19 for a lot of people. He's just gonna go ahead and try and distract him while you um you pick the lock. And can I have you roll, I think, lock picking? Yeah, I rolled a 19. Oh, yeah. that kind like florence check I know Walter yells out, I know you took the bones and he's like, go away. And then, um, Henrik is like, Henrik, the shopkeeper, or the coffin maker, he's like, go away. Leave me alone.
00:55:12
Speaker
ah come on don't be going away And then I finished picking the lock and then i I kind of look at everyone and I just kind of mouth. It's open. All right. Carby storms on in. Now it's not very nice to let guests stand outside in the outside. All right. And you've seen Henrik. He's like very much an older man. He's got like a thick gray beard. And you see the lines of like old age.
00:55:48
Speaker
um Don't worry, Seville, this is another one not going on my list.
00:55:54
Speaker
not interested good to know did your mother ever teach you any manners you're supposed to let in your guests you're not supposed to let them stand out there in the cold he kind of puts his hands up he's like oh okay no no i understand i understand no so we do not understand i i apologize you just want the bones right
00:56:23
Speaker
I want to know what's the goal here. What else do you have? The relic of the church. It gives it the power. Yeah. But why is he want the bones? OK, OK. I'm what Strahd told me to take him. All right. He's got he's got his spawns up upstairs. Can I hear him stutter out? His spawns are upstairs. He just wants the bones. I don't know why he just gave him money.
00:56:54
Speaker
I wanted, I want the money. You try being on a shopkeeper, or a coffin maker. No one likes me because I make coffins. so matter fair lucrative business in this area Not really. There's a lot of people dying. Thank you. I'm going to several point when to whisper to him. How about you take the bones and you follow us to the church?
00:57:28
Speaker
Or how about I take some man new bones to make up for it. A little commission fee, some new bones. I ain't getting the bones. You can get the bones. They're in the store. They're in the upstairs bedroom wardrobe. How about you get us the bones and I won't take my commission fee.
00:57:52
Speaker
You said that his spawn works. No worries though, right? And you're trying to get us to go on the court? Isn't that getting us killed? In the storage area, not in my room. In the storage room. Don't go in there. But wouldn't they know? I'll go wherever I please. Like, I mean, surely they could hear us, yeah? I don't know, it's in the middle of the day. Do you think they'd be awake? I mean, do they need sleep?
00:58:22
Speaker
don't know i really don't think i know know vampire i believe since it's daytime uh they might be stuck that's just my what i've heard from uh children stories though so take that with a grain of salt that's if there's windows up there that have sunlight are there windows up there open the windows then i don't care because i ain't going upstairs if you want those bones so bad you can get them You're the one who stole the bones and I'm gonna have you getting those bones or I'm gonna take yours. Listen, listen, that's not necessary. I find it very necessary right now. Fine. I can take you. Good. That way, we know you won't go around betraying us by waking up those spawn. I wouldn't go upstairs. They scare me. Good. We should scare you more.
00:59:21
Speaker
the bones there. are We should scare you more. You ma'am are frightening as it is. Thank you. Now lead the way. Alright, and he kind of like puts he puts his arms down and he like hunches over. He makes his way up to the stairs. And Barbie like leans over to the others is like, did I do good? You did great. And I give you like an appreciative pat on the head. Thank you.
00:59:49
Speaker
Maybe we shouldn't use too many threats here, considering there's a lot of people here who have the ability to kill us. I have the ability to kill them. Walter's like, where was this like earlier? So you leave you guys to the stairs, and you got Henrik. And he's like i mean like, before he steps on the stairs, he's like, hey, do I got to? I don't want to go up there. You got to. Capisce? Fine.
01:00:20
Speaker
He makes his way upstairs and he like saw, like, hold on, let me see something real quick. I'm going to get this dude killed. I just know it. no And so, uh, there are, so very I don't really care if I kill him or not. ah about at the You guys now are in the upstairs in the landing area right here. So, uh, on the.
01:00:51
Speaker
The right is a door into the storage room. On to the left is a room, a like it kind of an opening to a kitchen. Ah, okay. My brain is, has computed.
01:01:06
Speaker
Um, all right. I mean, he kind of like makes his way and through it to the kitchen, then into his room where he grabs the bones and hands it to you. ah Um, yeah, the, the,
01:01:20
Speaker
the spa or in the storage room over there. So just just go take the bums. I don't care.
Coffin Maker and Strahd's Child
01:01:25
Speaker
Leave me. OK. Just remember. Don't do this again. Listening to Strahd won't end well for you.
01:01:39
Speaker
What kind of give you a look that communicates? OK, aren't you planning on? Yeah, Walter's right. You were thirsting after him.
01:01:51
Speaker
Yeah, I'm making sure there's no more competition. I've got enough on my plate. I don't think Strud would go after, um, an old man. We don't know. You'd probably steal his death certificate.
01:02:11
Speaker
We don't know Strud's tastes. I mean, he captured Tara. He could have several tastes. I mean. Yeah. Are you limited to one kind of guy? yeah He seems to like elves though, you know? So you're saying I have a chance. At this point, no. Oh. He said a sight on Tara. That's a little rude. No.
01:02:50
Speaker
Seville is once again having a meltdown in the back of the group. Barbie's got low self-esteem, okay? Yeah, but now Walter's like, Barbie.
01:03:03
Speaker
Also, I was struggling. I always had this whole idea of like, Barbie's been faking her accent. And so when Steve showed up, she was going to have to do her real accent and it was going to be Southern. And then I forgot and I was like, I don't think I could do it right now. And now that you've got some guy talking in a Southern accent, all I can do is talk in a Southern accent. oop All I can think of is the video where I keep getting on Instagram. It's like, I'm Dracula.
01:03:31
Speaker
I in the back of a 1992. I forget the name of the car. yeah I'm Leroy Van Helsing. I'm here for your child support, Dracula. No, I love I love, love, love those guys. and They are hilarious. Yeah, this sounds excellent. right It's top tier. So um now that you guys have the bones, what would you guys like to do now?
01:04:03
Speaker
I will say if you wanted to mess with the crates, they are in the junk room. You didn't even mention those crates. I'm letting you know above the table.
01:04:16
Speaker
You said not to. I don't think we should mess with the crates. if yes I don't think they should either. I really want to though. Malo actually has a love for crates to deny character background. and or Unknown previously. Malo cannot withstand being so near a crate. Can I roll to just get the bad vibe from the crate?
01:04:44
Speaker
Yeah, you can. Please not one, please not one, please not not one. chris me what What would it be? What would it be? I want to open these crates. Don't be mad, dude. Would that be an insight? that would be Yeah, that would be insight. Or investigation. Let's see. Please not one, please not one. 21 seconds left in the game. Try to figure it out. OK, you said, OK, so I'm going to go with the investigation because that's higher. I have pretty high int. That's a 14.
01:05:15
Speaker
I- You- You know some fits up with these crates. You do not see the vampire spawn. We- So, where would they be? I- Where else would they be? I don't- Okay, look, look, look. I kind of gather everyone has- He's a coffin maker. We don't see the vampire spawn in his room, so they gotta be somewhere. I don't think we- Should we lighten the crates on fire?
01:05:46
Speaker
I think that's a bad idea. He's a coffin maker. Hold on, hold on. Guys, guys, oh guys. like Let's, let's think real quick. If the bones were in his room and the bones prevent the church from fraud from entering, would it not make sense for the vampire spawn to not be in his room? Yeah. So let's just leave. We have the bones.
01:06:11
Speaker
let's let's take the Let's take the coffin maker with us, too. I agree. Let's go. Why? Because I think they're gonna kill him. So? I just realized. I feel like I shouldn't have to explain why killing by preventing people from getting killed is a bad idea, is a good think is a good thing. Right? Well, I don't really like this guy. I don't really like you, ma'am. Oh!
01:06:41
Speaker
There was no need for that. why listen to conversation handful People here. Who just said you didn't like me first, so i um like I'm just bouncing off your energy, ma'am. I don't mind that you're the one bounce off my energy. I don't care. What I care about is you interrupting my conversation and listening in. I don't care. You're talking about my fate. I'm getting out of here the minute you guys leave. So you can take me if you want.
01:07:12
Speaker
You shouldn't be saying things like that. What kind of dreams? I look at them and I kind of squint and I'm like, what kind of dreams do you have? So Vail, what did we talk about with consent? I'm asking him first. Oh no. That sounds bad. Wait, hold on. Let me, let me check something. You are asking first. I am proud of you for that. That is growth.
01:07:35
Speaker
Hold on. Look, look, look. All my life, I've never had a shortage, okay? Here, it's a little different. I'm gonna say his dreams taste empty. I don't know, ma'am. I don't dream. You don't dream? Who has time for your dreams? Are you radio? I mean, I'm flesh and blood.
01:08:02
Speaker
You don't dream? um How much bread? Seville, I need you to roll a history check for me.
01:08:11
Speaker
I mean, just dreams have died a long time ago. History is going to be a dirty 20. Dirty 20? So you know, based off of what your mother has told you, that some Baravians don't have souls. Oh.
01:08:29
Speaker
I put two and two together and I'm like, he's not even useful to me. Well, let's just leave him here then. That sounds like a plan. He's going to leave anyway, so he's not going to die. Is that good enough for you, Stork? Yeah, I guess. All right, then let's get out. it's go weird yeah Head back to that church and tell them about how their gods are doing and and them wrong.
01:08:56
Speaker
Yeah. And you just kind of watch us. He like grabs a bag and starts piling clothes and he's, he's getting out of here. That's his business. Let's finish our business fair. Yeah. Do we want to light this place on fire? after for guilty there Do you care if we let your house on fire? Like, sir, what is your obsession with fire? Uh, well, he's mentioned that. Yeah. Won't that kill him?
01:09:26
Speaker
No. Well, it'll make him crispy. But no less pissed off. I look at him when I'm like, they have healing. They can heal pretty. Yeah. Pretty quick. Well, we tried. Unless it was a magical fire, but even then. Dang. We did our best. All right, then. There's no fire. All right.
01:09:52
Speaker
and so with that y'all I guess are making your way back to the church making our way downtown walking past faces past church time okay so now that you uh do you guys want to alert the guards or anything that the coffin maker had vampire spawn in his house and he's trying and he stole bones are the guards also completely re What? Are the guards also paid off? Who knows? I don't think I can buy a straw. They're kind of loyal to the Burgomaster. The Burgomaster, yes. I can't stop doing this accent now. Yeah, I can tell. I've stuck. It's the tism. I'm going to go ahead and put you guys back on the church real quick. This is like better. You guys want to tell the...
01:10:51
Speaker
This is better than Trump acts and I'll tell you that. ki Um, anyways, so y'all want to tell all the, the guards. as burger monster Yeah. sure why not All right. Uh, so as you guys make your way back, you're like the first time you see any guards is just past the, um, town square and you see they're, they're kind of just chilling there. They're on, they're kind of on break.
01:11:23
Speaker
Um, they're on break, but they're just like, whatever. They're chillin, watching the people run around, getting the thing ready for the festival. Do they get their regulatory 15 minutes? Yeah, they're on their 15 minutes. Okay. Making sure. Actually, no, they're on their 30 minute lunch break. and Impressive. Paid or unpaid?
01:11:49
Speaker
up unpaid. No, that's good. That's good. Acceptable. Yeah. All right. So as you go up, there are regards.
01:12:06
Speaker
They're all kind of like just chilling. A couple of them are eating bread and cheese. Some of them are eating like ah the life. one
01:12:18
Speaker
None of them have fresh fruit, but also it's really hard to get fresh fruit. They have cheese and bread. What more can they want? Yeah. Dental vision. Yeah. Ooh. Bread. Cheese. Perfect. Yes. Now I want to go eat bread and cheese. Me too. Oh, I could use some Hawaiian sweet rolls right now. Oh no. Some French baguette. Oh, French bread. I love me some French bread.
01:12:45
Speaker
Oh, the garlic bread. No, the, uh, boar's head parmesan, parmesan raschiano. Yes. Garlic bread.
01:12:59
Speaker
But. We're having hot dogs for dinner and and we are not having any sort of bread and I'm very sad. My mom made meat, uh, what is it? Meatloaf. Did somebody say meatloaf?
01:13:12
Speaker
I do not like meatloaf. Me neither. I have taco loaf. four love But I won't do that. Meatloaf. Alright. Wrong kind of meatloaf. Anyway, let's tell the guy the things we know. Oh my god, this game might be going to a shootout. What? I've never seen a shootout before. My high school almost wait, wrong kind. Yeah, I was about to say wait, what? Hockey.
01:13:38
Speaker
on On the goal. They don't shoot guns in hockey. I'll tell you that much They do however be shooting some pucks All right, so you guys you guys now approach the three guards. They're all like kind of chit-chat amongst themselves. I Cannot stop this accent. It's it's so fun. It is its better than Trump accent. I'll tell you what I so Hmm go but yeah they They kind of look it up as you guys, they kind of look up as you guys approach. May I help you, Mayim? He kind of talks to fire Barbie. Yeah, we have some bones to return. Some of the coffin maker had in his back rooms.
01:14:30
Speaker
The bones. Like, a and he knows the bones. I mean, the bones. The bones. You're talking about the androids? The bones. What about the bones? Don't you understand? Yeah. You should probably get those back to the churches. I'm trying.
01:14:48
Speaker
we will we'll take care of the coffin dude coffee yes there's also some vampire guess that means our lunch is over yeah kind like is hey but if you're not being paid for the time you don't gotta to be working you were what will you work when you are paid just real quick All right. Yeah. So y'all get, y'all get back to the, um, you get those back to the church. We'll take care of the coffin maker. We're going. i'll be and shit out You guys can do this with me. All right. And you guys make your way back to the church and, um, give the bones to father Lucian, who is like, I will get these straight to where they're supposed to go.
01:15:41
Speaker
And within 15 minutes, minutes of you guys returning, you guys feel like it. What does the effect hollow? Like it like you can feel the effect of hollow. The spell kind of take over the ground and it feels sacred, kind of. Can we enter that? as Yeah, can we are we OK? Yeah, I just realized. Because our deaf ears consider partially undead or.
01:16:11
Speaker
be in a... I'm gonna have to retcon the whole episode for you not being able to go in the channel. Yeah. um No, D&Pers are not undead. They're not undead. I just searched those. Yeah. I was about to say, you guys are half human, so yeah, you're not undead. You're fine. Yay.
01:16:35
Speaker
I'll say that Seville, due to his mom's overprotection, has never gone in a church. And so whenever we take the bones, he's like, look key, a little terrified. Yeah. He's like, so yes he's looking a little shifty, a little jittery, like he just had like three or four cups of coffee. And he's like, I mean, I'm not. He also says under his breath, I'm not turning the ash yet, so I guess we're good. Yeah, so you guys are fine.
01:17:02
Speaker
um Malo, you can decide to notice that if you want. I'm not trying to hide it. Yeah, so, um, no. Now that that is over. Hold While we're here, um can I take the note out and ask the the priest if he can read Barovian? And if so, can he read this to me? You want the priest? Or do you want Walter? ah Yeah, let's do Walter.
01:17:34
Speaker
I feel like Walter probably wouldn't smite me. Yeah. Oh, he wouldn't. OK. All right. So I guess you have Rich Walter and give him the letter. Yep. I'm like, hey, I found this in my bedroll. can Can you read this? Or at least translate it, write it down somewhere. um I don't have any anything to write down, so I'll just tell you. And he kind of like.
01:18:02
Speaker
opens it up and reads it and he's like the longer he reads he keeps glancing up at you looks like and then he kind of like leans back and like looks i mean it's like looks back at the paper looks back at you he's like what why did i not see it before see what do you do you want me to reveal it for everyone i I just kind of like, I look at him and I'm like, just just tell me, I don't know what it says. I mean, I don't know if they want to know. Yeah. you're you're And he kind of like leans, like, looks at the rest of our, he's like, so you're Strahd's kid? Am I? Is that what this is? Yeah, pretty much. It's like, I didn't know that you were in the country.
01:19:00
Speaker
Um, here's like 25 gold pieces as child support. That should be enough. 25?! That's only a gold piece! What the hell?! I'm not being fairly compensated for my trauma. You are truly. He's like, he doesn't... That's about it. He's like, yeah, here's 25 gold pieces, uh... Good luck. Good luck?! Good luck!
01:19:30
Speaker
Seveil's upset, Seveil's mad. Good luck, and 25 gold pieces is all I get for coming here on a theory that my mom had because she apparently got reamed out by a bunch of people here in Barovia about 26 years ago, and I get good luck. All you're worth is 25 gold, apparently. 45 gold? I am, I swear to God.
01:20:00
Speaker
perfect I look at Barbie and I'm like, now that it's confirmed, will you quit hitting all my death? I don't know, you want me to go? I do not want to stepmother!
01:20:17
Speaker
I guess I can keep my attraction under wraps.
01:20:24
Speaker
Yeah, That'd be great if you could do that! I was really hoping I would just be the half-breed of some lowly spawn and I could just go on with my life and it'd be okay with no major complications. Well, it appears, sir, that's not happening. No shit, Sherlock! I'm just trying to help, I'm sorry.
01:20:50
Speaker
I look at Walter and I'm like, please tell me there is alcohol here!
01:20:56
Speaker
We should probably go to... No, I don't have ah have the map up for this yet. We will next but we'll have it next next session. I heard there is... Wrong chapter. Give me one second. There is a blue water inn near here we can go to. They might have some alcohol.
01:21:20
Speaker
I'll take whatever they have. All right. I'm not sure if I want to leave this place abandoned. We got the bones back, didn't we? Yeah, the bones are bad. The bones, the bones are bad. Walker looks at you. and He's like, you can't feel the hollow protection spell. I can, but I feel like whoever we pissed off is going to be here. They can't. Now that his his thing is like.
01:21:49
Speaker
You'd have to have someone else steal it. There's no way he's coming back because his spawn are probably halfway dead by now. I mean, I don't think a vampire spawn could come in here without being burnt with Chris. I think we're good. I think we're good to leave him here. I just want to get drunk. Yeah, same. All right. Same. 25 gold pieces. Fuck it. I'm spending all my child support on liquor. I'm buying rounds for the team.
01:22:19
Speaker
I'm gonna get drunk and forget all my trauma. well likesuring back in Well, what else are we supposed to do in this here, Pam? You try being a damp here without a dad. You try being a cleric where you're being haunted by demon chickens, okay? I'll trade you.
01:22:44
Speaker
Do you have to call Strahd dad? Do you call Strahd father? Do you? I mean, I don't. I called him daddy. I'm not good. I didn't know anyone heard that. Do you say that in character? No, no, no, no, no, no. You tips avail over the edge.
01:23:08
Speaker
No, no, no, I wouldn't say it. I wouldn't say it. Barbie's once, but once Barbie learned the dad situation and she's like, oh, I'm not really into guys with kids.
01:23:19
Speaker
That's a deal breaker. Not kidnapping. It's mostly for a surveil, but you not kidnapping your best friend and not it's not even that I don't like guys with kids. It's the I don't like guys who, you know, just ignore and abandon their children. Be fair.
01:23:35
Speaker
in the ball I don't like bad fathers, you see. I have one myself.
01:23:42
Speaker
I go for a high five and I say- Marty is a whole different person. i this I say I go up for a high five, I say daddy issues. Hell yeah, brother. Oh, no.
01:23:56
Speaker
Why do you think Guy was going after Strahd so hard? i got when we get to the When we get to the bar, I want to write my mom. Dear mom, it wasn't just a spawn. It was definitely Strahd. You were right. Let's avail. P.S. That's me. I'll ask your mother to fuck you. That's a little ah incestuous. That's a little wrong. Come on, y'all. You all knew what I'm getting at.
01:24:24
Speaker
the All right. So I have to give me one second. Well, I just realized I had it downloaded. I just need to put it into roll 20.
01:24:36
Speaker
um
01:24:39
Speaker
Yeah. Now why don't we all go drown our sorrow? All right. Sounds good. So as you guys make your way to the end.
Arrival at Blue Water Inn
01:24:52
Speaker
It's now I would say it's about like,
01:24:55
Speaker
four o'clock in the afternoon. So it's not too unacceptable to get drunk. No one cares right now. Seville does not care. Seville does not care. He just once wasted. Yeah, valid.
01:25:12
Speaker
um so you make your way to the end and uh you see the bar it's it's like it's four o'clock in the afternoon it's like two hours before like dinner rush there's like maybe a couple barflies but just there's a bartender behind and a waitress kind of looking bored sitting up uh sitting against the whatever it's called And um let me do the description. So backup, sorry. Gray smoke issues from the chimney of this large two-story wooden building with a stone foundation and sagging tile roof which has several ravens perched on it. It painted wooden sun hanging above the main interest entrance depicts a blue waterfall.
01:26:04
Speaker
i'm kind of thinking that no one in balaki knows how to read because this is the second time it's got had just pictures instead of the name of the end but because that's just my theory yeah that's just my theory a game theory yeah day wey so fair all right um
01:26:33
Speaker
All right, so you are now inside Blue Water Inn.
Wine and Drinking Competition
01:26:40
Speaker
So again, the innkeeper slash bartender, just chilling behind the bar. um and So what would y'all like to do?
01:27:02
Speaker
I am going to sit at the bar and I like first yeah i ask for, I ask ah how, what is the strongest liquor 25 gold can get me?
01:27:15
Speaker
Well, all we got here is wine. what We got purple, great purple. I'll take it. Number three and the red dragon crush. Red Dragon Crush sounds like it'll get me really, really, really, really fucked up. So I'm going to buy that. How much is one bottle? One bottle is one silver piece. We're going to be buying a lot. I count the heads of everyone in the group, and I'm like, how much for every single person here? For two bottles. For two bottles? How many are are you? Six. Yeah. Six. So 12 bottles.
01:27:55
Speaker
Six, yes, to 12 bottles, that'll be 12 silver pieces. All right, two for everyone, and then I went four for me, and I slayed over the appropriate amount. All right, so, and he's like, oh, OK. And he kind of like goes underneath the bar and hands, oops, and hands, y'all, you four bottles, and um the rest of the bottles to everyone else.
01:28:22
Speaker
Looks like you've been, you've had a long day. He's definitely just under the bar. Yeah. That's a lot. It literally only carries those two wines. Yeah, that's true. That's fair. Is this the purple one? Uh, yes. No, this is the red dragon crush. Yeah. Acceptable. I like red too. Yeah. Well, also the red dragon crush is the better of the two wines. so Okay.
01:28:51
Speaker
It's not purple, but it'll do. It's going to have the same effect. And I start drinking competitive, almost competitively. Oh, Barbie takes that gauntlet. She has no idea what alcohol is. So I think I drank before in this campaign. Yeah. In this campaign, probably. but She still doesn't know. So I already doesn't learn. So, um.
01:29:18
Speaker
You two, I need you guys to do a constitution check. You got a boss. Can I choose to fail? Yeah, I choose to fail. I will choose to fail. Yeah, I'm not going to drink just yet. I'm drowning my sorrows. I don't trust this beverage. I was not drinking. All right. I will choose to fail. Guys, you two, like, gulp down your first bottle. I might say you guys are to trauma.
01:29:42
Speaker
know fine. But you're you're like, you're you can feel the tipsiness coming on.
01:29:52
Speaker
Excellent. This is what I was aspiring to do. As Erwin Oh, and then Walter is also following you and he's choosing to fail as well as he just chugs both.
01:30:06
Speaker
That's the spirit, Walter. I guess. He's like, this is the best I have felt in days. Walter, we might need to find you a rehab.
01:30:22
Speaker
Ma'am, no. And that's the first time you hear a hit of like an actual borrow via an accent from him. Because before he's going to end up always carefully enunciated with words.
01:30:37
Speaker
but also that's respect to your choice yeah ah but anyways he's like and he grabs he pulls out like four more silver pieces it's like give me more of those that's the best wine i've had in a while yeah i i take his money and i shove it back towards him and i'm like no no no no child support and i shove them on the heat on the counter
01:31:01
Speaker
And so the now barkeep is like looking at you all very concerned. He's like, ah y'all good, not even a little bit bandy. And I put more money on the counter for more bands for bands. And he kind of looks at at the rest of the memories and he's like. Should I? Yeah, if you don't get us that you're going to have bigger problems than a few drunk people.
01:31:31
Speaker
ah What does that mean, ma'am? Listen to the elf. I think you know. know Oh, all right. All right. Just calm down. I'm calm. This is me calm. Okay. um Is that another bottle for Barbie?
01:31:49
Speaker
that it will be also another bottle for Barbie. I need all you guys to do a constitution if you want. Fairly. No, I don't need. All right. Barbie drowned in her sorrows. Barbie, I would say, because this is this is what, one of your first few instances was wine. Yeah. You are very drunk now. Oh, I'm going to have the wine shits later. So, Vail, what about you? I'd imagine I definitely had alcohol before.
01:32:18
Speaker
Okay, so you're, you're not Barbie level drunks. You are. You're drunk though. Walter, he's just sipping his away and he seems more calm and collected than you've ever seen him. My man's an alcoholic. The shakes are gone. He can think of clarity.
01:32:41
Speaker
no Yep. so um he can put his charger in to plug his phone in yeah wait i think i understand that reference that's sherlock right i believe so yep yep um i' very well i've never watched nor do i know but i do know that meme it does the greatest tv show ever and i am sad that they never did a fifth season so anyways
01:33:13
Speaker
Um, Erwin is like, looks at you guys and he's like, y'all need a room. We got rooms. We're kind of in a slow season right now. Yeah. We could probably use some rooms. Yeah. Um, I'll pay for it. I am very drunk and I, that those words slur. I'm just like, I'll pay for whatever we want. Let's get the most expensive room. Does it have a hot tub?
01:33:44
Speaker
Ooh, I would like a hot tub, some kind of water. I do love water. We just got a communal tub. You can borrow and fill up with water. Y'all have to heat it yourself. We ain't the big thingy.
01:34:02
Speaker
This will work. um Hold on. What is E.P.? I'm E.P. E.P.? I'm trying to know. It's like E.P. because it's water.
01:34:14
Speaker
David is God's EP. It costs one EP. What is an EP? Oh man. Oh, it's, ah it's, um, I'm looking it up. I know that I know what it means. Electrum. It's worth. Okay. It's an Electrum. Yeah. Electron in piece. Yeah. I'm trying to remember how much they're worth. Um, or tactical, I believe.
01:34:43
Speaker
Oh, half a gold? OK. There are six of us. That's an even number. That's best. three goal It's worth 50 copper pieces, five silver pieces, half a gold piece, or one 20th of a platinum. OK. They also are very trustworthy.
01:35:03
Speaker
All right. All right. That's a lot, um honestly. um All right. So y'all want to share rooms or y'all getting Six rooms, what is it? I don't think Balor particularly cares who he stays with, so. Yeah, Barbie doesn't care. I also don't care. All right. So I guess three rooms because each hold two beds. That seems fair to me. Yep.
Threats, Alliances, and Emotions
01:35:32
Speaker
You're the one paying for it, Sue. Oh, wait, and there's one. Hold up, I'm looking at this. Well, there's one room that has four beds.
01:35:44
Speaker
Yeah, so that we'll just say there's there there's enough rooms. So yeah, that'll be ah one gold piece and two, for one night, one gold piece and one Electrum.
01:35:59
Speaker
Let's slide it over. Is that how I- I think we want like three nights, don't we? All right. Yeah, so that- At least I'm just- I'm just with state of three. So take that thing you just did and multiply by three.
01:36:11
Speaker
four gold pieces, one Electrum. I slide it over. All right. So then they're upstairs for whenever y'all get there. Now, what are y'all doing in my tavern? Getting you out in our sorrows. Drinking, drinking, giving you money in exchange for goods and services. Making sure these guys over here don't get. They are not paying for services.
01:36:38
Speaker
Making sure these guys over here don't get killed. Why would we get killed? Who would kill us? I think if anyone killed me, I'm pretty sure a really mean guy would be just a little upset. And then I like slam my head on the counter. They won't kill me. I'd probably thank them. I also think now like I sit back up real quick. And I'm like, I think the Harpers may also be a little upset. And then I slam my head back down on the counter. The Harpers? Who were they?
01:37:09
Speaker
I don't know anyone named Harper. Like of guilds back where I'm from. And then I slay my head back on the counter. Ah, I don't know that either. But thank you for explaining. Mm hmm. Yeah. Um. And when he bart and Steve heard what you said, Barbie, and you kind of feel like a flick at the back of your head, like. What the fuck? Well, that was rude.
01:37:38
Speaker
why are you judging me for what i don't know steve i can't know everything oh i'm talking no i'm talking about what he's what you said about i don't know anyone named harper i'm talking about oh the death the death oh barbie's in her depressed era am i gonna i need to post a depressed era meme again barbie is depression barbie right now Yeah. Um, sorry, hold up. i All right. We got to wrap this up. Some people got to leave soon. Yeah. Anyways, y'all go up. b Room there. If, and then he looks, so he looks towards the sober members of the party and he's like, you can get these bar flies up to the rooms before rush. I greatly appreciate it. Yeah. Will do. Don't worry about that. wait We'll take him up.
01:38:35
Speaker
And what like once we're upstairs, Barbie's gonna turn down and we'll be like, all right, well, who wants to share with me? And then turn to a potted plant and throw up.
Episode Wrap-Up
01:38:48
Speaker
ands And I think we're good. Scene. Scene, thank you.
01:39:10
Speaker
Thank you for listening to the 13th episode of Rose Colored Daggers. We upload the main episodes every other weekend, and we may have a special character background episode coming out somewhat soon, so look out for that. You can find us on Tumblr and Instagram at rosecoloredaggers, and our website and Patreon will be in the description. Please review and rate us on whatever platform you listen from, and thank you for listening.