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Call of Cthulhu: Hangover Hollow
117 Plays1 year ago
We're playing with some big CoC today on Roll Players. Meet a flirty reporter, a seasoned sailor, and a an architect from Noah's Arch as they attend the 10th anniversary of a spooky Halloween Bash.
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Transcript
Introduction to the Discussion
00:00:17
Speaker
🎵
00:00:49
Speaker
Well, why don't you tell everybody, tell the internet what you just learned, Justin. We're live. We're recording. Tell them what you learned. I googled whether or not Ireland borders Scotland because I'm trying to do, I want my guy to be Irish, but I'm going to fail into a Scottish accent probably when I kind of dim.
00:01:10
Speaker
And we realized, well, I realized that would help me. I asked everybody here, it's an island, right? And everybody said yes. But I was like, I'll still Google it just in case. And the first response from some website is absolutely not an island.
00:01:27
Speaker
And let me feel. But I don't know. I don't know if it's absolutely not. I feel like I feel like a Scottish person wrote that. And there was like, absolutely not. Not only is it an island, but fuck you. That's why. I don't know. It's not that important. You fucking coke.
Game Talk: Call of Cthulhu
00:01:45
Speaker
Speaking of cock, we're playing cock today, guys. What a segue. I'm so excited. Thanks. My segue is new. Now, I don't remember how a lot of the things work. We went over it like last week and I've already forgotten a lot of the information. I've already forgotten how sanity works and everything. We'll get there.
00:02:06
Speaker
We haven't played Call of Cthulhu in some time, or cock for short, COC. And we are going to be playing
00:02:16
Speaker
Hopefully, I would like to make this into a series. Also, good afternoon, good morning and good evening in different order. Good evening to you too. Gutenacht. Thanks for listening to us while you're sleeping. Yeah, thanks for listening to us. Just play it on repeat while you dream in Dreamland. I would like for this to be a series, but I don't know how it's going to play out. I tried to make it a little bit more of an easier intro session because usually Call of Cthulhu is more one or two shot based because people die often.
00:02:46
Speaker
So we're going to see how it rolls. If you listen to our last Call of Cthulhu session from like a year and a half ago, you have heard that one of the players got killed by another player because he was going crazy. So maybe that'll happen. Maybe it won't. I don't know. But before we introduce the session, the beginning of what we're going to be doing, why don't we go around real quick so you guys can introduce who your characters are and what they are in regards to their general vibe.
00:03:17
Speaker
Justin, since you were talking about your place of origin, why don't we start with you? Tell us about your
Character Introductions: Dagmar and Hortensia
00:03:22
Speaker
guy. All right. My name is Dagmar Saltzman. Fish and man, sailor, looks like the Gordon's Fish and Man from the Fishdicks. Looks like the Fishdicks what? What did you say? I was coughing. The Gordon's Fish and Man from the Fishdicks bag. On the label. I feel like they've stopped portraying them as much on the bags anymore.
00:03:42
Speaker
I happen to agree. They need to bring them back. They do. He's glorious. Anyway, grayish beard, a little yellow rubber jacket and rubber hat when he's doing his fishing work, but I mean, I guess we're not going to really be fishing, but I'll still probably wear it just in case, you know, never know it's going to rain.
00:03:57
Speaker
You never know when you're going to get wet. He's 55-year-old, gender M. Residence is a fishing trawler, naval sailor's occupation. He's pretty strong, kind of smart, has a size of 80, whatever that means. He has a size of 80. Where it counts, baby. He has a size of 80 and he has 80 HDs.
00:04:20
Speaker
Okay, so he is a strong boy fisherman guy. Cass, who's Cass? Who are you? Who are you playing? Like, I'm playing Hortensia, nosy face. And I'm like an investigative journalist. And like,
00:04:38
Speaker
I have really bright cherry red hair. And I'm always wearing headphones and glasses because I'm very smart. I'm always writing in my notebook, always finding things out. And I still live with my grandmother because who wants to pay rent these days? So expensive. I'm always writing in my notebook.
00:05:06
Speaker
It's Hello Kitty. Don't judge me. Oh, wait, no, not Hello Kitty. What is it? Polly Pocket. I was gonna say, is it a Bluey notebook? Because all the kids like Bluey these days. I don't know what Bluey is, but I guess parents and kids alike love that guy.
00:05:24
Speaker
Oh no, I think Bluey's a girl. They like the dad. The parents like the dad. They think he's funny. I've never heard of Bluey. I only just learned about it in my job. Oh wait, no. She has a rainbow bright notebook.
00:05:37
Speaker
Every five minutes is going to be a different notebook, I feel. Every time Cass talks about our notebook, she'll be like, and then she writes down her Rainbow Bright notebook, and then she writes down her Hello Kitty notebook. I'm like, does she have five notebooks? No, just the one. No, it kind of makes me think of Reaper from Overwatch.
00:05:58
Speaker
because he would just like shoot his guns, roll them away and then just get like some new guns out of his like coat and maybe catch his just like notebooks, just like a pea out of a coat at all times. Just like Reaper from Overwatch, that's a reference we all get. Yeah.
00:06:17
Speaker
All right. You're not German, Justin. Just tell us about your character. I don't know why I called you Justin. I was confused. Adrian and Justin sound similar. Adrian, what's your character?
Character Introductions: Dexter
00:06:32
Speaker
So my character is Dexter Alda and his occupation is Architect. He's from Noah's Arch and he lives at Mount Archmore where all the architects live. He's an architect from Mount Archmore and Noah's Arch.
00:06:57
Speaker
Okay, excellent. Can you tell us what he looks like? He's very much an office person that he looks clean, has his hair back, and has a suit most of the time, glasses. Glasses? Glasses, yes. It's more like an intellectual-looking person.
00:07:23
Speaker
And yeah, he's 26 years old and a successful architect. He's a 26 year old intellectual? Yes. Dang. Okay, so we have Dagmar, we have Dexter, and Hortensia.
00:07:45
Speaker
Um, so here's kind of the scoop. This is going to be in the modern era, 2020s, no specific year, but 2020s, there's only been three and a half of them so far. So it's one of those three. Um, and, um, this takes place in a small town called Frankstown, Pennsylvania. Um, it is a fictional place in my mind. If there is a Frankstown, Pennsylvania, it is not the one that we are telling the story about.
00:08:10
Speaker
Not to avoid any sort of legal issues, but because I had to make up a fake place in a familiar terrain that I'm used to. It's from Pennsylvania Rio. Absolutely not. It's an island, you idiot. It is not a real island. It's a made-up place that I just made up.
00:08:29
Speaker
Yeah, with my Hello Kitty, Rainbow Bright, no block. Yeah. So here's the scoop. Here's your hook, everybody. So the players have already known this, but we're going to go over it for the audience. So every year in the fields of Frankstown, Pennsylvania,
Event Description: Hangover Hollow
00:08:46
Speaker
a massive outdoor party is thrown in honor of Halloween, and it is called Hangover Hollow.
00:08:53
Speaker
So there's food trucks, dunk tanks, loud music, and a myriad of tents that will permeate the massive cornfield. This year marks Hangover Hollow's 10th anniversary since it was created. To celebrate this tremendous occurrence, the Hangover Hollow showrunner, Dirk Stalwart, has set the stage for a huge opportunity to win $10,000, or 10K if you prefer.
00:09:19
Speaker
Scouted across the field is an array of monsters and beasts that are controlled or portrayed by professional actors or some type of mechanical operator. The guests will take a photo of all seven creatures and post them on social media using hashtag HH10K. And when they do this, they will be entered into a raffle to win the cash prize.
00:09:40
Speaker
So, whatever reason, you guys all decide to come here. Some other reasons for that could be whether you just want to get the money if you're short on cash or if you just really like Halloween or whether you're from out of state or the tri-state area. A lot of people come to this event because it's very big. It's in an open space. There's not a whole lot of regulation on it. It's a great place to network. It's a great place to meet new people.
00:10:05
Speaker
You know so whatever your motivations may be a lot of people show up for similar reasons Or just because like for a cover charge of 10 bucks you get in and you can drink all the booze that you want So it's just a reason to party whatever your motivations are we can explore that when we get there But right now so you guys are we're just gonna say just to cut to it you guys are Do you guys want to just already be there? Would that be easier for you guys or do you want to is there anything you want to roleplay before you?
00:10:34
Speaker
get to the party. I want to buy a camera because I don't have one. You want to go buy a camera? He's just dang credit rating. He's so excited about his credit rating. Yeah. Adrian's character is rather wealthy compared to the other two. He's an architect and he makes a lot of moolah and he has like $100,000 in the bank. Hundreds of thousands, I should say.
00:11:00
Speaker
So, all right, Adrian, are you gonna go buy, like, a really fancy camera? Like, the ones that, like, photographers take? A really fancy camera, yeah. Like, one that's a real heavy-ass motherfucker that's gonna hang up your neck. I probably will use it once and then never came, but I want a really fancy camera. Okay. I can do this. I have disposable income. Okay. Okay.
00:11:19
Speaker
Okay, so yeah, you know how, like, Call of Cthulhu is supposed to be creepy? It's not going to be that, guys. Just buckle up. So, all right. So, all right. You know what? Let's just say, what store do you go to buy your camera at, Adrian? I'm sorry. Next door.
00:11:32
Speaker
All right, you're at the camera store. It's called the camera store. It's called the camera store. It's called the soup shop. What's what's camera in German? Kamara. Kamara. And then it's the word. There you go. There's your German word for the day, everybody. We should just do that at the end of every episode now. Just learn a new German word. In the middle of every episode. In the middle of every episode, we're just going to learn a random German word.
00:11:57
Speaker
All right, so you're at the Kamara store. What Kamara are you going to buy? So I'm going to this event that I've never really been to, and they told me I need a camera. So what kind of cameras do you recommend for taking photos? You know you could just use your smartphone and take pictures with that. Do you have a smartphone? That sounds so basic. Why would I do that? The salesman sucks.
00:12:27
Speaker
Oh, I was going to try to direct you to the latest smartphone that has a camera that's like really, really good. Oh, that's smart for a camera. But phones are like for using it to like call people and stuff. I want like a thing. I'm sorry. Are you a millennial saying that you call people or even even more or less a Gen Z? I don't believe it. There's no way that you use that phone for anything other than Snapchat and sending pictures of your pecker to people.
00:12:52
Speaker
You know, my job requires me to call people, so yeah. Are you on TikTok? I am not on TikTok. Are you on Lumper? Are you on Lumper? Are you on Snapchat? You can follow me on the gram, but I don't have the TikTok. All right. Well, you know what? Here's the megapixel 5000, because there's 5000 megapixels in this camera.
00:13:21
Speaker
Um, you know, it's a, it's, it's 10 K when you take two pictures. That sounds like a lot of pixels. I think I'll take that. Yeah. All right. That's gotta be, uh, eight grand for the camera. Eight grand? Eight grand. Yeah. It's very expensive. You know, that's a ridiculous amount for camera. That's pretty stupid. It's got 10 K, sir.
00:13:47
Speaker
Well, give me 10K and then I'll buy your camera. Alright, here's 10K. Thanks for making me pay for your camera, sir. Have a good day. Have a good day. Derek, did you give away money again to buy stuff? Yes, sir. I just really believe in this company and I want to make it. Buddy, sir. Employee of the month again.
00:14:17
Speaker
That's how you make a sale use your own money to buy things for people. I mean Sounds like it works well. Hey, you know what Dexter or Derek runs that store So, okay, so you have a fancy camera now Dexter. Yeah Hortensia or Dagmar. Do you want to role play anything before you get to the party? I've been thinking I
00:14:41
Speaker
I've been thinking, should I be Scottish and try to do a Sean Connery voice? Because let's face it, Gordon's fishing man does look a little bit like John Connery. He does, kind of. I'm going to slouch into a Scottish accent anyway. Well, you're big, so why don't you try to be like a big Sean Connery?
00:15:04
Speaker
How do you make your voice sound bigger? So do what our friend Andy used to do and puff yourself up and go, I'm big, I'm big. I'm big. Hello there. I'm Sean Corley. I've come to this camera store. No, that's not too, that's not Mr. Bean.
00:15:27
Speaker
I see this very well to do, man. Step out of the camera store. I hold the door for him. Have a good day there, sir. I'll nail it down. Dexter, are you going to say thank you to me? I opened the door for you. Dexter, he opened the door for you. You opened the door for me? Oh, I don't know. Yeah, talk to him.
00:15:49
Speaker
He's a Zoomer. He's looking at his phone. He's not talking to you. It's true what they say. There'll be no manners among the younger population. All right. Hello, sir. I've got a need for a camera.
00:16:05
Speaker
Oh, hey, why don't you just use your smartphone? We have a brand new smartphone. Top of the line if you want a smartphone. Ah, you see here, I've got an old, I do kind of know, I've got an old Nokia. I'm going to go all over the place today. Just got to deal with it.
00:16:21
Speaker
We can only hope that Dagmar dies. Eventually, eventually I'll figure out what I want to do for sure. I only just now realize I could do a Sean Connery, so I was practicing my other voice all week, but now I realize I could be Sean Connery and I kind of want to be, she doesn't want to be Sean Connery. I know, right? Not really. That guy fucks, am I right? Right.
00:16:40
Speaker
Well, you see, I've got this here, this old flip phone here. It's a prepaid, not really got a good camera on it. I've got to win $10,000 you see on this photograph challenge.
00:16:53
Speaker
Uh-huh. So you want to, you want to get a fancy camera to, you think that's going to make you win better? You have to upload the pictures to the interwebs, right? No, what, what are you talking about? No, they said, come there, take pictures, tend to get so many pictures of these people and every creature that's dressed up and is short to the man or whatever at the front desk, and that will give you $10,000 on your way out. Uh, if you're talking, if you're talking about the, the, the HH 10K event, you have to upload the social media, sir.
00:17:23
Speaker
I'm going after my shift is over. I don't like to think that's true. Well, I mean, I'm happy to saw you on camera nonetheless. They've got to be able to accommodate people who don't got social media, so they've got to have a way for me to sign up normally without it. I just want something not too crazy, just a little bit of a camera that's better than any pictures I'd get on this here. Admittedly, very sturdy and capable phone I've got, but not a good picture taken forward.
00:17:53
Speaker
I mean, okay. Well, how about this one? And he pulls out like a pack of like a three pack of disposable cameras. These are glorious. These are perfect. Yeah. It reminds me of vacations to the Isle of Wight when I was young. Yeah. Just so you know, after you take the pictures, you have to get them developed. You can't just throw the camera away.
00:18:18
Speaker
You know, like disposable. Well, I'll give it to them. They'll figure it out from there. They'll, they'll give me like, mail me the money and I'll figure it out. Yeah. Okay. And this button here turns the flash on. So that way, like it makes it big. Oh, that'll be good. I imagine it's going to be at night. So thank you. That would be helpful. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, no, no, no problem guy. Is there.
00:18:37
Speaker
That'll be $8. Oh, fantastic. I've got a low credit rating, you see, as I'm... I'm not very solvent at the moment, so here. I'm not very solvent. Or I am more solvent than not. I don't know what the technical terminology is. Not quite bankrupt yet, is what I'm saying. That's perfect, my guy. We'll see you out there.
00:19:02
Speaker
Yeah, I'll be there. My name's Derek. If you see me around, come say hi. Excellent. I'll be wearing the same thing.
Camera Shopping with Humor
00:19:10
Speaker
My little yellow jacket here, I'll be wearing that because it's good to be visible when you're out in the night, running around. I thought that was your Halloween costume. I was going to say, it looks authentic. It is. It's the real deal. I live off the coast of Maine, you see.
00:19:24
Speaker
Oh, what brings you all the way to Pennsylvania? Oh, $10,000. Oh, yeah, right, of course. Yeah, absolutely. Quick drive and me 1983 station wagon still running like a dream. Yeah, you know, I got to get that 10K so I can keep buying people expensive cameras to be employee of the bus.
00:19:40
Speaker
Oh, that's interesting. All right. Well, um, you know, good luck to you, but I mean, I'm going to try to win it myself. So from here on out, we're sworn enemies. Yeah. Whatever you say, guy, you'd be great at D and D. You want to play D and D sometime? I don't know if that is there. You can do any money on it. Uh, I mean, you could get gold and yeah. Oh, that's interesting. I hear there's a high commodity for gold these days. Oh yeah. Such a high. You can get silver too. What do you say?
00:20:08
Speaker
Ethereum is very fancy. I've never heard of that. I've just seen a lot on the TV commercials for a lady saying, we'll buy your gold. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's like that. Also, we buy any car. Yeah. Yes, I've only got one, so I can't sell it. Anyway, thanks for that. A pleasant little chat with you there, my friend. What's your name? Derek. Oh, Derek. It's good to meet you, Farrah. All right. I'll be on my way. I don't know this area very well. I'm not from here, as I've said there to you.
00:20:36
Speaker
Yep. What is, um, I've got, uh, I've made the reservation for myself at, uh, the scum hole motel. Oh yeah. I know the scum hole. All right. Um, which, which way do I go out from here to get to there quickly? East. All right. So yes, thank you. As a sailing man, I'm very good with, um, not left and right. I'm better with East and West and starboard port, uh, starboard. Many years, many years of playing a pirate theme, Dungeons and Dragons campaign has taught me starboard. The other one at East and West.
00:21:07
Speaker
Good luck on your journey. Um, I'm sorry to say I'll be have to have to be beating you tonight, but sort of sludge into my Scott and my Russian accent. Backstairs at you. Um, but anyways, see you later. Hi, peace, brother. Um, all right. Yeah. Yeah. It'll be handling with your spirit. Um, Hortensia, are you already at the party or is there anywhere else that you would like to have practice before you go?
00:21:33
Speaker
Oh no, she's like already there. She's like already like watching, uh, taking notes, you know, for the article that she's writing on this thing. Gotcha. So she's already there. So yeah, so there's a $10 cover charge and there, um, there's a couple of people since you've been there a little bit early, like you could interview somebody if you want. Um, but, um, but yeah, so just to kind of, you've already, so you got a stamp. Uh, you notice there's a lot of people that have like little black splotches on their hand.
00:22:04
Speaker
Um, that, uh, like they just, there's just like a guy who, there's a couple of people sitting at like, just like a little card table, like, or I guess like one of those longer banquet looking tables you can take places. Um, and you know, they got, it's, they got like signs up. There's like massive signs or scarecrows everywhere that are all spoopy looking. There's some people that are there, like there's people are still filing in. Um, you know, you can see that there's like,
00:22:26
Speaker
bouncy houses because the adults like bouncy houses too. There's like a whole big heavily constructed corn maze or I'm sorry like a hay bale maze. There's like a building that they built that's kind of like a house of horrors and mirrors and stuff. There's already food trucks that are starting to pile in and find their respective places are getting set up. Do you see there are some people carrying like these animatronic looking creatures like some quadrupeds, some are on one end, some people are wearing very high end like
00:22:55
Speaker
Like Hollywood almost looking like fucking horror outfits like monsters that like just look like it took hours to fucking make or to put makeup on for and Yeah, and you see that the card table there's a couple of people there's one guy there or there's a guy in a gal there the guy there he's kind of wearing like kind of like a really big medallion like around his neck and he's got sunglasses on and kind of like one of those
00:23:25
Speaker
What do you call this like a trilby hat on? And he leaves a little bit more of an impression on you because he has a little bit of an accent So he kind of sounds like he's not from around the States And then his partner sitting next to him is a gal. She's wearing like She's pretty much dressed in Star Trek II uniform. She's got like the black and red. She's got like little badge on her hair kind of pulled up the guy in the
00:23:50
Speaker
in the Trilby hat. He's like, all right, this way. I'm just going to give you a little dobby-dub and then just send you on your way. And then you can just go and just kind of find whatever you want.
Arrival at Hangover Hollow
00:24:00
Speaker
Some of the food trucks ready if you want, my lady. He kind of puts a little black splotch on your arm.
00:24:06
Speaker
Oh my God. Thank you. Oh my God. It's so cute. A little ghosty. This is Bill. Oh, it's so cute. And she's going to walk in still talking to herself and she's like already taking notes in her little notebook and she's going to look for just a vendor. What kind of vendor are you looking for? Any vendor.
00:24:28
Speaker
I mean, they're there. There's a few people kind of, like I said, getting their shop set up. They're like hanging their little trinkets and stuff or they're setting up their tables as you do. So yeah, I mean, pretty much the choice is yours, whatever you want to do. Okay, she's gonna go and look for the treats vendor where they have like the caramel apples and the funnel cakes and stuff like that.
00:24:50
Speaker
Sure, yeah. There's a couple of people. They have a little van there that they pulled up. You can smell it cooking in there, like some of the other stuff that they're making. They have a little stand set up where you can pull a candy apple from there, like from a stick or something. Candy apple is $1.50. We take PayPal. We take Cash App. We take the firm.
00:25:13
Speaker
And they, a guy, a very handsome man, like a bronze skin, like a very tight looking goatee kind of leans out and he goes, what can I get you miss? And so like, I'm Hortensian, nosy face, and I'm like the local journalist for the, what did we call this place again? I'm sorry.
00:25:39
Speaker
Frankstown? The city? I'm like a journalist for the Frankstown Gazette. I was just hoping I could ask you some questions. Yeah, but you got to buy some first. That's fine. Could I get like two funnel cakes and a caramel apple? Two funnies and a sticky apple and a stick.
00:26:01
Speaker
And he kind of leans and like there's a girl in the back like with a with a backwards baseball cap on and she kind of starts like firing the place up like to get the Funnel cakes hot and fresh for you And he goes alright, that's gonna be it's gonna be 8.50, ma'am
00:26:13
Speaker
Oh, here you go. She reaches into her little, she's got like one of those little tiny fanny packs and it's like leather and really nice. You could tell it's kind of old. And she pulls out like a little tiny wallet with her little card and hands it to him. All right, that works, yeah. All right, so what questions, what questions you got as he's like swiping your card and you're like, you want to put in your pen or now, you know, we're just gonna run it as credit.
00:26:42
Speaker
That's fine. Yeah, so what do you want to know? What's up? Do you like come to this every year? Oh yeah, we make a lot of bucks on this thing. Yeah, it's pretty dope, pretty cool. Awesome. Do you guys make a lot of money on this? I'm sure you do since you come like every year, but I'm just wondering. Yeah, like I said, we make a lot of money on this thing. Like every year we come, we make a lot of bucks, like a lot of bucks.
00:27:04
Speaker
What's your secret behind like your funnel cakes? Because I tell you what, I have one and I have to have another. That's why I got two.
00:27:14
Speaker
Uh, you know, uh, it's, it's kind of a, it's a, you know, I'd say it's a secret, but it's not a secret. It's just that, you know, it's, it's our hands, you know, we got really good hands. You know, uh, uh, Morticia back there, she's really good with her hands. You know, she makes it all fluffy and you know, bright consistency. Then you get the gold, you know, it's just hard to explain, but you know, you gotta prep it first. It's all in the preparation. You know what I'm saying? You know, I like a girl with good hands. She reaches in and grabs a business card and hands it to give her my number.
00:27:44
Speaker
Uh, yeah. Hey, Mottesh, are you interested in a throuple situation? Yeah? She doesn't talk all that much. Are you sure? And you're like, yeah, yeah, I didn't try it. Uh, yeah, she says she's okay. Yeah, I'll pass you her business card and then, um, uh... No, don't spit in it. That's not cute. No. That's not how we start a relationship, Mott, okay?
00:28:15
Speaker
She gets, you know, she just really into some kinky shit. She thinks that that's gonna flavor it special for you. No, no, that's not, that's not, we'll get, we'll lose our license. You can spit in her mouth. Yeah. She can spit in your mouth or whatever she wants to do later, but not the food. I take too much pride in my food. Listen, I swear to God, if I see even just, you even lick your lips around that funnel cake, you're gonna be in trouble, Morty.
00:28:45
Speaker
So that's all I wanted to know. So like, we'll see you later. Oh, wait, I need my food. Yeah, yeah, we're still we're still we're still cooking it up for you. Nice and good. Just give it a second. Would you do a spot hidden role for me? Okay.
00:29:06
Speaker
What will the first rule be? Where was that? I was on the wrong page! I failed.
00:29:22
Speaker
That's okay. So in this game, in case you guys don't know, the goal is to roll under whatever skill that you have. So she has a skill of 55 in spot hidden, and she rolled a 70. So rolling above in most cases is not ideal. That's okay. So you just kind of notice that Morticia in the back is kind of grinning a little bit about this random series of events that you've impressed upon them.
00:29:52
Speaker
And then she brings over your cakes and they give you your apple. And she says, too funny is in a candy for the pretty lady. Oh my God. Thank you. You're so cute.
00:30:04
Speaker
Oh, shut up, baby. I know it. Make sure you call me. And then you notice that her phone number is spelled out in powdered sugar on the funnel cakes. She quickly writes it down in her notebook. It's like, hurry, it's getting hot. It's going to melt. It's going to crystallize. Or caramelize is the word I'm looking for.
00:30:28
Speaker
Okay. Um, so while you're doing that, we'll say that our boys are showing up at this point. Uh, Dexter, Dexter, you show up with your fancy ass camera hanging around your neck, I assume. Yeah. Um, I'm like on my phone while I arrive and I'm talking to my mom. And what are you talking to your mom about? I'm talking to my mom. It's all right. I'm out and I'm going to meet some people. You need to calm down. Can you hear dangerous?
00:30:55
Speaker
Rednecks. I don't know if you're playing video games again, but I'm outside. So here.
00:31:15
Speaker
And you as you show up you see as I described at the table the gentleman and the lady And he's like all right this way it'll be a $10 cover charge And then I'm just gonna give you a little spot you spot on the old um On the old hand there, and then you can go and have fun more people are gonna be foiling in soon
00:31:32
Speaker
Hi, I'll, I'll join as well. All right. That'll be a 10 spot, please. Give him like 15. All right. Uh, hang on. Let me get you some change or, and we're not expecting to do any change today. That's supposed to be changed. Just wanted to be like, give you some money. Oh, heck yeah. Um, all right. Uh, and he, um, he gives you a little splotch on your hand. Um,
00:31:57
Speaker
He, uh, he gives you a little black splotch on your hand and he says, all right, well, you know, there's some, still some people getting set up, but, uh, you know, just go and have a little look around. Uh, just the thing we asked that you do. Oh, I forgot to tell the other gals. Shit. Um, you know, just make sure you tell everybody, uh, don't go back towards the back end of the field where the big green lights are. Yes. They're not turned on. And, uh, you know, the actors are still prepping and everything. So we don't want to ruin the whole illusion of the night. So just don't go back that way. Okay. Okay. I'll just stay here for a while now.
00:32:26
Speaker
Excellent. Very good. Very good. Is there anything you would like to do? Do I see that? You hear, you hear, you hear a cluck, cluck, cluck, and you hear, Roland. Oh, this is the place. All right.
00:32:49
Speaker
Oh, so you're there as well. You show up. Just put it in my station wagon. That was my radio playing. OK. And then do you approach the table? You see the guy that you opened a door for. I don't know if you have a good memory on that or not, but I kind of I kind of as I'm walking past, I kind of give him like one of those sort of mean muggle looks up and down like I don't remember you. I'm not going to give you the time of day. And I go to the table.
00:33:24
Speaker
Oh, yeah, those are cool. Yeah. You know, I'm into kind of the retro thing, too. You know, I like to go get my pictures developed and stuff. So that's cool. But but yeah, just make sure that when you upload your photos, you upload them to the social medias. Hashtag hashtag hh 10k. That will be your job if you're interested in doing an upload. And I'm just going to show you that I've got them and then you'll give me the winning money.
00:33:39
Speaker
I'm here to sign up for the picture contest. I got one of my plastic baggy U3 display for cameras.
00:33:48
Speaker
No, that's not how, I mean, no, that's not what you're supposed to put. You're supposed to take a picture with your smartphone and then upload it to, you know, Twitter or, or fap chat or whatever the ones you have to use the hashtag. I put my, uh, my little flip on again. I've got this here, fella, and it doesn't really have internet very well, especially out here in the middle of nowhere. Well, I suppose you could buddy up with somebody and then, you know, you could just split the cash if you use their social media. I'm not really, I'm not from here, so I don't know too many people.
00:34:17
Speaker
Well, I mean, you know what? A lot of people come to meet people here, sir. So, uh, just, you know, just so early in the shop. Oh, you thought you two were friends. Yes. Yes. As my old friend here. Yes. Do you have some trouble with your camera? Oh, no. My cameras work just God damn it. Potatoes, potatoes, Irish.
00:34:44
Speaker
in the morning to you. No son, I have not got any need for a camera there. God damn it. If you ever get lost, just remember, change my feet, more do. I have a good thing I'm saying now.
00:35:01
Speaker
There's always terrors upon the sea, that's my catchphrase. There's terrors upon the sea, lad. Anyway, I'm just going to stick with Sean Connery. I'm Sean Connery. I can stick to this here. Nice to meet you, Sean. No, my name's Dagmar. I'm sorry. Dagmar Connery. People tell me I sound like Sean Connery.
00:35:20
Speaker
I can see that you kind of sound similar to him. Thank you. But yes, if you've got a telephone there that can take internet pictures, you would be very helpful to me. I do. I won't be taking your pictures via phone, but I have one. Yeah, so you can use that. The only unfortunate thing is I won't be splitting any prize money. So make me a social media account real quick. Make me a social media. Rob persuasion on me. Yeah, you know what? Why don't you rob persuasion?
00:35:52
Speaker
What's under persuade? Okay, I have a 10 in that so let's hope I roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll roll
00:36:16
Speaker
I don't really do things just for like, for a fancy spot. Yeah, sure. Give me a, you know, probably should do to my phone, like your phone looks kind of old. Yes, that's why I'm asking you for help, son. I can't. Yeah, so what should be your like your own online name? It needs to be like really cool and edgy and stuff like that. Well, I'll just use my own name Dagmar Saltzman.
00:36:42
Speaker
How about you stack the salt man? Well, as long as they know it's me and they'll give me the money, it's all I care about. I mean, I'm sure it'll be fine. All right. So what would your password be? Dagmar. That's at the site says it's too easy to mix it more complicated. Dagmar 1973.
00:37:11
Speaker
There needs to be a special sign in there as well. It's been a lot of sign. Okay. Adrian's really channeling the apps really well. Okay. You have a code now. Now you just need to confirm your email and then you're all good. Why is it saying there, click all the pictures that have a lamp post in, are you a robot? Why would you be a robot? All right. Yeah, I forgot about that. You just need to select all the pictures with the thing in there.
00:37:41
Speaker
And then you'll be caught. It's like a little minigame you could say. I'm glad I don't have social medias. This is really boggling my mind. You see the guy at the table who's been stamping everybody? He's had this black dot marker in his hands for a good five minutes, watching you guys do this. He's like, can you just give me your hands, please? Oh, sorry. I didn't say something there. Here we go.
00:38:04
Speaker
You know what, you guys couldn't hear me, but I've been saying, give me your hand, give me your hand, let me just stamp your hand for like five minutes. Oh, I thought you were talking, there was a million people coming through, I thought you were talking to them. Nope, talking to you, you're holding up the line. Oh, sorry, sorry everyone. Oh, it's all right.
Monster Hunting Strategy
00:38:20
Speaker
Let's go inside and like, don't, you know, like all the people. All right, sounds good. Lead the way there, my new friend. What's your name, by the way? My name is Dexter. Dexter Alda. Oh, Dexter Alda, you say? Alda, yes.
00:38:34
Speaker
Excellent, my name is Dijal Solzman. Oh, they're like, all the ladies love me. Exactly. You're a sharp dressed fella, is this your costume? This looks like a high end costume. It's not really a costume, I'm not really the kind of person I like to go in costume. So I just went to work with my casual attire.
00:38:55
Speaker
Oh no, you call this casual, whatever you think is right there. I'm also not in costume, but some fellow earlier thought I was, but it's just, I figured it's better be safe. Hive is in the night. Yeah. You could go like as a semen or something. It's a pretty cool look you have. Yes, it is. Thanks for noticing. But yeah, if you like make your photos, you can just like give them to me and then we'll figure out how we get them on social media.
00:39:24
Speaker
It's the hard thing you rolled that 9 on success. Winning friends and making people and making friends. That's right. Winning friends and making people. That's how humans are made. It's Hortensia. You got your funnel cakes. You got two funnel cakes and a candy apple on a stick. You just talked to the handsome gentleman at the shop. Is there anything else you would like to do or anything before we proceed?
00:39:50
Speaker
No, she's just gonna find like a closed table just sit there and just Just watch people and take notes so there's not really any tables out here except for like the little like like those little
00:40:07
Speaker
Like there's attachable table countertops that some of those carts get that they keep their mustard and ketchup and their utensils on and shit. They do have a bunch of stacked hay bales and stuff that you can sit on and put your plates on and shit. There's a ton of those all over the place. It's pretty much makeshift furniture.
00:40:25
Speaker
Okay, that'll work. I'll sit on one of those, the hay buns. All right. Well, why don't you roll a spot hidden if you're just going to look around and see what you can see. Okay. You know, you failed at once. Let's see if you fail it again. You did it. You got a 25. Nice. You're hard success. So I'd say right away through all these outfits and stuff, you know, you're very
00:40:49
Speaker
noticing gal. I would say that you do spot the odd coupling of a guy in a suit, like a nice attire, nice business wear, and then a fucking guy wearing a very authentic-looking fishing hat, a fishing outfit. That's how I ended up dressed in fish guts the one day.
00:41:07
Speaker
I'd say that you can hear that conversation as you pass. It's a very odd pairing. You see he's got a flip phone and then you see the other guys wearing like a long ass fucking very expensive camera. Something that you've probably seen other people in your field use when they're trying to get like the really good, you know, Spiderman pics. Sure. So like that, I would say you probably even notice that more than anything is that guy's got a really fucking good camera that just trumps anything you're wielding.
00:41:32
Speaker
Um, like, you know, as a, as a journalist and stuff who takes pictures and takes notes, that's pretty, you wouldn't, you would recognize a good camera when you see it. Okay. Um, I would say you also notice, um, uh, that there are, uh, I'd say faintly, you can hear some screaming from like the horror house, uh, even though like it's that sun hasn't quite gone down yet. Um, but you hear some faint screaming, like some shrieks of horror, like in the, um,
00:42:04
Speaker
in the horror house behind you, maybe 50 yards back, which seems weird that the party hasn't really started yet. Okay. I'm gonna say that's probably what you got going on right now. She's gonna look at the two walking in and kind of chuckle, and she's gonna go try to investigate what's going on in the horror house.
00:42:31
Speaker
She's going to abandon her funnel cake and caramel apple. Okay. So you kind of start making your way over there and you do see one guy who's kind of wearing like the this staff black t-shirt with the gold lettering on it. He goes, yeah, sorry, ma'am. That's not quite ready yet. So I mean, not till sundown. We're not going to open this up yet. They're still doing prep in there. So sorry, I'm going to have to
00:42:57
Speaker
Oh, is that like why they're screaming in there? Are they like practicing? Is that like rehearsal? You know what? I don't really know. I was just told to keep people out. So because that doesn't really sound good. I mean, well, I mean, it is Halloween. So I mean, if you want to pregame and go get plastered before the event starts, it might sound even better. Might sound even scarier. So I don't really know, though. Sorry. I'm just doing my job, ma'am. So I can't let you in there. Fine. What's your name?
00:43:27
Speaker
Craig. Craig? Oh my God. That's such a good name. Like you're so cute. Do you have a girlfriend? Uh, no, I don't have a girlfriend yet. You know, I'm on the dating apps. Oh, so like, um, maybe, and she like starts to kind of like tussle his hair a little bit. Maybe we could go through the haunted house together and like, you know, maybe get like a sneak peek because like, you know,
00:43:56
Speaker
I'm an investigative journalist for the Gazette in town and I bet you we could just like get all just hot and heavy in there before anybody else. You see like he like does that stance where like when you cut both your hands together and he kind of holds it down over his crotch to kind of look like he's standing like big and like you know professional and then he's like
00:44:27
Speaker
I mean I mean I'm gonna go through it eventually I usually can only go through when everybody else is done so I only I only get like the after effects it would be nice to see early roll a persuade to see if you can get Craig to take you into the haunted house okay if you damn it
00:44:45
Speaker
Now, you can do something called pushing the roll, which means you can roll at a second time, and you'd have to tell me what exactly it is that you're doing to make a second roll, but this could yield either immediate or late-term effects in the game. Something really bad will happen if you fail a second time. So you can choose to try to push it if you like, or if you really don't care that much to get him into the whorehouse, you can just take your family leave.
00:45:11
Speaker
Um, so she's gonna, I'm just gonna leave it. I think it'll be funnier this week. She's gonna be like, please and kind of like,
00:45:24
Speaker
go show her cleavage a little bit more and kind of pout a little bit even though she's 45 years old and this guy's probably 20. So are you trying to convince him to take you in or are you just flirting with him at this point? She's just flirting. Yep, she's just flirting for fun. Okay.
00:45:42
Speaker
So yeah, he'll chat. He'll chat you up for a little bit if you're if you're actually in the mood to get some get some strange So So as you guys are kind of doing your thing The you guys here like an announcement You like on these big old loudspeakers that I kind of like set up all throughout the cornfield here. All right All right looks like everybody's filing in sundowns gonna be pretty soon and you heard what?
00:46:09
Speaker
There's like, I see some of y'all out there. There's Frankie, Laquisha, Danny, John Boy, Terry. And he's kind of pointing around to people he knows. And you see, he's like standing up on like this kind of wooden platform. It's kind of like a makeshift looking gallows. It's meant to be scary. They put like fake blood on it. And for some fucking reason, a bunch of kind of like tattered looking ropes and stuff. And he's standing there.
00:46:36
Speaker
And he goes, alright, well hey, don't forget, when sundown happens, all the big stuff is gonna go off, the green lights are gonna go off, the horror house is gonna be open, and the contest will be officially on. Now, just want you all to know that I'm really excited that you're here and the 10K is on the line. Upload to hashtag HH10K on whatever social media you have. We will find it.
00:46:59
Speaker
Okay, I do recommend there's some pretty gnarly stuff here today again for those of you who don't know me forgive me my name Is totally on a piece of paper that I wrote Dirk stalwart. That's my name And I'm kind of the proprietor of HH. This is an honor to have our 10th anniversary of hangover Hollow and
00:47:21
Speaker
So thank you all for being here. I know there's a lot of you from out of town. I think I overheard a couple of you are from out of that country, which is crazy. So please have a good time. And he's dressed in kind of like his face is painted green. He's just dressed like Shrek. He's got a tattered white shirt and some brown dirty pants on. His face is green. His hands are kind of greenish. He looks more like the Hulk than Shrek, but he's going for Shrek.
00:47:47
Speaker
Um, and he's like, all right, everybody, just have a really good time. And remember, if you do find one of the creatures, they will have a very distinct mark on them. They will say H H. If you look real closely, they're going to be Wiley. They're going to move around. They're going to try to scare you. But we do ask that you do not attack them. If you get scared.
00:48:10
Speaker
This is a hands off from you. They may poke you. They may push you a little just to give you a jump. But they will not hurt you. Please do not hurt them. And just so you know, there's going to be blood everywhere. The annual blood bath will be happening. So keep an eye out for that. And just so you all know,
00:48:29
Speaker
Uh, the drawing will be happening tomorrow, uh, November 1st. So keep an eye out on social media. You will get a ping on there to let you know if you won hashtag $10,000. Are you guys all ready for a party? And everybody goes, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop.
00:48:45
Speaker
All right, Lou Frigno. Lou Frigno. Then he gets off the microphone, he goes and starts mingling somewhere else. The sun does start to go down a little bit more, and you can see some of the automatic lights they have set up to the generators are starting to pop on.
00:49:09
Speaker
And then just to kind of run the clock a bit after you guys are doing your thing, Hortensia, that guy totally gives you his phone number at some point. And the other two of you, were you guys going somewhere in particular before the festivities start? I want to suggest an alliance.
00:49:32
Speaker
Because I think would be smarter, you would split up and if you don't, I would like take a certain amount of pictures and I take some pictures, then you can like put them together. Then we're like faster than everybody else. Well, as I've said, I'm not too keen on splitting the money, but. Hmm.
00:49:55
Speaker
It may be a good way to try and succeed where others may fail quicker. Is it like a time if we get our things out there faster than them? Probably not, but I like to be better than others. I'm an architect. I'm better than everyone else. What do you say to honor this arrangement? We go and share a funnel cake. I can never eat the whole one myself. Too much sugar. All right, fine.
00:50:22
Speaker
All right, let's go split the funnel cake. It didn't have anything to eat anyways. As you guys head to the funnel cake place, you see that you pass a hay bale that has two perfectly good funnel cakes on them. Right, stop them like, hold up, although look at here, right here. Looks like someone's just abandoned their funnel cake. Yeah.
00:50:49
Speaker
You can have those and I'll get some new ones and then we'll meet up next year. I don't need two. I can barely eat one. Why don't we just have two here and leave half? Well, how about we eat half of one of those and the other two of us will leave the other one for someone else, their lucky soul. You know, roll on the sea. If you find it, keep it. If you lose it, you better weep about it. I'm totally fine with you eating those, but I'm not really comfortable with like eating
00:51:18
Speaker
You don't like to found food, do you, Will? No. That's alright. Hortensia, while that guy's giving you his number, you kind of notice like off to the off in the distance a little bit where you left your funnel cakes, there's a couple of people hovering around your food. She quickly finishes up what she's doing with that guy and she runs her, um, excuse me, sorry, like that's mine.
00:51:39
Speaker
Oh, well, you better be careful even things lay around. If we were out by the shoreline, there'd be a million seagulls over here right now, but luckily we're in the middle of fucking nowhere. Yeah, I just saw this cute guy over there. I just had to go flirt. I sort of strained my eyes. All right. But yes, I suppose you can eat your funnel cake there. I won't steal it.
00:52:05
Speaker
That guy over there is really nice. They make really good phone cakes over there. Oh, they will. Thank you. We'll go enjoy one. I think this is kind of a fight that we're like all here. So how about the three of us make like a team so we can make the photos?
00:52:25
Speaker
So I'm not doing the competition. I'm just here to write about the event and everything, but I'll go with you guys. You guys look like fun. What do you think? I'm new to the social media, but I've heard a lot about influencing and pressuring people into doing what the conglomerate of people think is right. Do you think if you wrote an article that me and this guy here are like, should we win or whatever? Do you think that they would let us
00:52:57
Speaker
I mean, why not? I mean, I would write an article about you guys winning. That would be amazing. And you can also have some focus from my camera that probably look better than yours.
00:53:07
Speaker
You know, I need to get a new camera. So like, yeah, like if you got to borrow yours, I'd be great. I've got three here. I don't need all of them. A little plastic baggy. That's so great. Yeah, you guys could be my photographers. I'm gonna go and get a funnel cake and then we can go and take photos.
00:53:33
Speaker
As you're going and you're getting your funnel cake, exchanging your pleasantries, the sun goes down and you hear like a choo-choo, choo-choo, choo-choo, choo-choo. And you see like off in the distance, a bunch of like, kind of looks like one of those parking lot lights, but like, you know, with the four lights around it and it all flashes green and then like the whole back end of the field turns like this kind of eerie looking kind of green glowy color.
00:53:58
Speaker
And then you hear everybody starts to cheer and then you see the haunted house lights up and a bunch of like orange and red and green colors and like purples kind of like streaks and like all these lights turn on. Then you hear the screams get louder and you hear like the like the kind of cheesy ass shit that goes on in those. And then you hear like fucking wine bottles start getting corked.
00:54:24
Speaker
and people are just fucking going crazy. Before you know it, bonfires are started, little campfires are started, torches, tiki torches are out. People are just going fucking
Party Atmosphere and Contest Begins
00:54:34
Speaker
nuts. Before you know it, you see just the crowd starts running towards the back end of the field with empty, or with open red solo cups and alcohol containers and shit like that. They're just making a fucking stampede back there to go and look for the
00:54:50
Speaker
look for the creatures and then you see some people are like already getting in line for the haunted house and like vendors are already being swamped like this place is just within minutes has been turned into just like a fucking fest of people um so party time has begun well this is pretty cool where do you guys want to start kind of seems all super crowded i don't i don't really do well with crowds um
00:55:20
Speaker
Maybe we just wait a title a bit until people light up a bit. You said it's not time-based, so I mean as long as we get pictures and we get a lot of lines. I don't think it's time-based. I did want to enjoy my funnel cake, so go ahead and purchase us that funnel cake. We'll split it and we'll be on our way. Yeah, let's first eat and then maybe we'll have a better time not getting through all the people.
00:55:43
Speaker
Oh, Dexter, while you're over there getting the funnel cake, see if they've got hot apple cider. Hot apple cider, yes. Yeah, it's like the best in the country. Okay, fine. Thanks. You're going to go to the hot apple cider stand? We're not going to be hunting any Cthulhu's today. We're eating funnel cake. It's on brand for role players. I'm fine with it.
00:56:14
Speaker
So you get to the hot apple cider stand and you see a sweet little old lady there. It says Nana busks, hot apple cider. And this is a sweet little old lady. She's got like poofy, poofy black and gray hair. She's got like real thick rim glasses on and she goes, oh dear, are you here for the, for the hot apple cider best in town Nana busk? It's like you read my mind. Yeah.
00:56:43
Speaker
Why else would you be here? We got nothing else. Exactly. I'll think I'll take three apple cider because I don't really know if the other girl wants some, but I'll just gonna get her some. Three, good. I'd be happy to. That's very great of you. Thank you so much. And so she's kind of like, she's pouring yours. You want a big one or a little one? I think two small ones.
00:57:12
Speaker
The small one's okay. And she kind of turns, aren't you guys? And then, uh, then you see, she kind of walks back to the back of her little booth there, her little bus, and it starts making it like no one's in the fucking car with her. And then she starts pouring it and then she brings them back up to you and she lays them down in front of you or she sets them down in front of you and she says, I'll be $3 one for each cup.
00:57:43
Speaker
Okay. I give her the money and I want to like take a photo of her in case she's like, uh, months as well. Oh, yeah. Oh, you're going to take a picture of me. Okay. Let me, let's get my good site. And she turns around and she shows you her ass and looks over her shoulder. She kind of, she puts up, she puts up a peace sign. Gotta put that on the internet as well.
00:58:10
Speaker
And so you can go back and look at your photos on it, since it's a digital camera, you can see like, you know, different ones throughout the night. You know what, would you roll me a spot hidden real quick?
00:58:21
Speaker
Hey, yes. Yeah, I just want to see a 22 out of a 25. Nice. Damn. I would say that just, you know, you take a picture of her, you know, you're kind of you're getting the focus in and everything. She has like one hand on her on like her backside and the other hand's like doing a peace sign. And you notice that she has an orange dot on her hand, which all of you guys have black ones. Mm hmm.
00:58:49
Speaker
Which is just different because like no one else that you've met so far. I assume that's like for staff people and stuff. Sure. I just want to do something different that you haven't seen yet. So she has like an orange dot on her on her hand. And she's kind of posing and she's doing a little ducky lips and everything. And she says, Oh, do I look hot? Do I look hot? Oh, yeah, fabulous. I'll just take my apple cinder and you have a nice night.
00:59:16
Speaker
and you as well and hey make sure hey look my nephew is here and he's playing one of the spooky monsters so make sure you go and see him oh I'll try to see all of them yeah he's some kind of like hook-handed fisherman or something maybe I've already met him oh well tell him I said hi I will and I like go back and I ask that do you happen to have a hook hand
00:59:44
Speaker
You guys dag that? Yes. No, I've got me two hands here. I've never lost one in my life. But I've got to hook back in my car. I carry around in case I ever need to hook something. Then you're not the son of the Apple Cinder Lady.
00:59:57
Speaker
No, if I was, I'd be getting it for free, I imagine. Probably, yeah. Diggity. But, girls, that's my mum. That's my mum. Also, I like pointed it to Tinsia because I don't really know her name and said like, I brought you some as well. I didn't know if you wanted some. Oh my God, thank you. That was so sweet of you. I did have to wash down this, you know, carne flavour on my mouth.
01:00:26
Speaker
This cardi flavor, you know, I got a little bit of cardi flavor when I was working on that guy. I mean, we were like making out for like 10 minutes, it's fine. What's the name anyways? My name's Hortensia, what's yours? My name is Dexter. And this is Stag. Hello! Nice to meet you guys. You wanna go and hunt some bad monsters?
01:00:54
Speaker
Oh, is that what you guys going to do? OK, let's go. Yeah. So you guys head back towards the back of the field where everybody else is. You hear a lot of hooting and hollering, a lot of screaming. You hear the horror houses fucking bumping. You see that there's a couple of people kind of hanging out, like drinking up on the up on the
01:01:17
Speaker
on the, what's the thing, the gallows and the one guy keeps putting the noose on his neck and he goes, no noose is good noose. And they're like taking a picture of him for social media and stuff. He goes, oh, hey, let me get the rubber on my neck. And so they're up there doing that stupid shit because you know people would. Oh, 100%. You know people would.
01:01:41
Speaker
guys are doing that so there's a couple of different directions you can go you can head eastward towards like where the maze is you can head forward where there's like there's like a bunch of like different misplaced like gravestones and stuff like that like just different sort of Halloween decorations and like there's a couple like constructed like arches and stuff that way
01:02:02
Speaker
And then to the left is just open cornfield where there's a lot of people over there to just like party and run into the cornfield. It's real high at this point. So like it's easy to disappear into. I was going to say, I missed if you said it, but is it a corn maze? The maze? It's a hay bale maze. Sorry.
01:02:20
Speaker
Hey, place exactly what it is. Oh, I love you said we were going to split up there. Dexter. Yes. I love me a good maze. So I'll go over there. And I'll see what kind of pictures I can scrounge up. Okay, I'll go to the open field and then we'll meet up at right here. All right. And what are the newspaper lady? Yes. What's your plan?
01:02:48
Speaker
Um, I think I can go with you. I like your beard. Thank you. I've been working on it all my life.
01:02:58
Speaker
the two of you guys are going to head towards the maze and I'm sorry, where was Dexter going? Dexter is going to the open field. Yeah. Okay, cool. So Hortensia and Dagmar, you guys enter towards the hay place and you see that there's kind of a heavier set fellow there with kind of like a really thin mustache.
01:03:20
Speaker
And he's wearing kind of like a cowboy get up. He's got like the big old 10 gallon hat on. He's got like little fake six shooters on his side. And kind of like a vest that doesn't fit. And he goes, well, howdy, partners. Are you here to experience the maze? Don't get lost. You got a short shooter. We are there, partner.
01:03:42
Speaker
You're gonna get lost? What? No, we're here for the maze. Oh, right. Sorry. Sometimes my 10 gallon hat squeezes my brain too tight. Well, sorry about that. Are you two like an item? Are you looking to go fool around? Because there's a couple of like little spots you guys can dip into that don't lead anywhere but to a pleasure town. Well, here is strictly business for what we're doing today.
01:04:09
Speaker
All right. Well, I hear pray tell that there is some strange happenings going on in this here maze and there might be some curious beasties to keep an eye out for. Right. Right. Yes. We'll take pictures of people in costumes. Yep. We got it. All right. We're going to go in. Thank you, sir. Well, all right, ma'am, sir. Have a, have a good time in there. Wank. Um, Oh yeah. You're so cute. Like it's, you know, your little parents. Hi. Well, we, I knew it. Um,
01:04:40
Speaker
So you guys enter the corn, or they, yeah, fuck, not the corn maze, Jesus Christ, the hay maze, and you go in there, and there's some folks that are just kinda like chillin'.
Maze Exploration and Comedy
01:04:50
Speaker
One person's already passed out, like, on like one of the hay bales. How much have you had love? Yeah, they're straight up just fucked, and they're out. Hey, Hortensia, did he call me a wank when he said that?
01:05:03
Speaker
Oh my god, I think so. Should we just go punch him in the face? It's past now. I should have thought of it when I first heard him say it, but he started flirting with him, so I was kind of put off fighting. I was kind of put off fighting. So as you guys get to the corn maze, you do hear somebody shouting like, oh my god, what's that? Like off in the distance. I bet you there's a picture of a fella over there. We got to go find that fella. Yell him. You got to find him. Yell him. Come on.
01:05:32
Speaker
Why don't we have you, uh, Dagmar, roll an intelligence check to see if you can sleuth your way through part of the maze, since I'm assuming you're going slightly ahead. Intellihense, eh, you're saying? You have a 90 in intelligence. Yeah, I can't fail. Watch me fail. At 60, I gotta fail.
01:05:49
Speaker
Hortensea's hand and just dragging her through. Yeah, just pull her through. You've been at sea multiple times. You've navigated the harsh waters and storms. Like, this is easy for you. You know, you just follow the right side of the maze and you find your way through again. Always turn to the right is my motto. Do you see that there are a couple of dudes kind of taking each other's clothes off in the corner of one of the ends? And he's like, just look the other way, man. Or watch, whatever. Just like, you know, pick one.
01:06:20
Speaker
Um, as you guys continue around, uh, and you do see that there are, there's a small crowd of people in the one inlet of the maze on the right side. It's like maybe about six feet of an opening. There's a few people kind of squished in there. You see that there is, um,
01:06:36
Speaker
a person dressed up in like some really high end makeup, their fucking face looks like it's falling off. Their eyes are like deep black sockets. They have like just like orange goop like pouring out of their mouth. And they're just like waving their hands and you're like, that's awesome.
01:06:57
Speaker
And like there's people taking pictures and ones like standing up next to them and then like putting their arm around them so they can get a picture. Their friends are taking a picture and then all of a sudden the monster puts one of his arms around the person and puts up a peace sign. And then they kind of part and they go.
01:07:15
Speaker
Um, as they leave the one guy's like, what a cheap outfit kind of walks away too. Um, so it's just you two standing there and then you see the zombie looking guy. All right. Um, go ahead and pause there for me for a moment.
01:07:32
Speaker
I pull out one of my disposable cameras. He turns around and shows you his butt and holds up a peace sign and puts one hand on his ass. Can you turn it up? Fella, I need to get a full picture of you for the money. Is that a Pennsylvania thing that you like post of your butt?
01:07:50
Speaker
It's an Adam thing. It's an Adam thing. I gotta press my flash button. Hold on. There we go. You push the flash button and you accidentally set it off and take a picture of yourself looking at the camera. Oh, that's bright. Here, Hortensia, take the picture. I'm blinded.
01:08:09
Speaker
And he's all right, so like the the zombie guy kind of like his shoulder slouch a bit and then he kind of turns around he goes puts his hands out like Frankenstein like He's like it's so derivative. Just let me do an ass shot Original it's called art And you do take his picture Hortensia, yep
01:08:29
Speaker
uh you take his picture and then um she'll go up to where like he's she's right in front of him and he's like right behind her you know what i mean where like it you know
01:08:40
Speaker
Right, right, right. And he's kind of posing. Are you doing like a selfie with the fucking... Yeah, with the zombie. Alright, so you do a selfie with the zombie. You flash him with the camera and he kind of like puts his hands over like his eyes for a second. And he goes, ah, fuck. Ah, I mean. Oh my God, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that. Oh, it's fine. It's fine.
01:09:08
Speaker
People are coming. Leave. Call me later. No. I'm married. Mrs. Zombie would not be happy with me. Stop trying to get in the zombie's rotten pants. Party pooper. You guys are making your way through the maze some more. And you see that there's some bodies laying around that have blood all over them. Take pictures of them just in case that's one of them.
01:09:44
Speaker
as you guys are making your way to the maze. And then we cut over to the cornfield where our friend Dexter is.
Cornfield Chaos and Memes
01:09:50
Speaker
Dexter, you're walking through the cornfield, there's people partying and drinking. You hear, oh my god, it's so scary. What do you do? Try to be careful not to like get too close to some people because I don't want to get like my stuff dirty. But I'm looking out for like those like actor people with like the dexterity roll to make sure you don't bump in anybody.
01:10:02
Speaker
Okay, clickers.
01:10:16
Speaker
Okay, 58 of 85 nice Adrian like made a deal with the rule 20 gods hack sores So I said hack sores to someone in a chat yesterday, and they didn't know what I meant Well that well there we go I feel bad again well yours you're a zoomer that doesn't yeah, that makes sense you wouldn't know what hacks or is is but um so uh
01:10:43
Speaker
You avoid drunk guys and girls like stumbling through the cornfield. It's really hard to see through. And, you know, you step over people that are like laying in on the cornfield or sitting down and they're kind of doing talking or maybe they're taking pictures or jerking each other off, whatever people do in the cornfield.
01:11:04
Speaker
This is why I stay in my office. You come to a little bit of a clearing in there and you see that there is like a quadrupedal looking zombie dog. It looks really realistic. It's really fucking wild looking and it's just chasing people into the corn photo. You're just like, brrr, brrr. And it's just like fucking people just like, oh my God, it's fucking crazy.
01:11:30
Speaker
Um, and there's, and then there's, there's another one that's sitting there on its butt, like a good little dog. And then people go to like, they crouch next to it and they pose and they go, yeah, and they get their picture taken. Uh, and then it's eyes light up and then it's eyes light up and it fucking chase them like, Oh shit. Then they fucking start running. Um, uh, and you can see that there's a guy kind of dressed like a scarecrow, like sitting on like a couple of bails of hay. And like, he's got his hands in his lap and you can clearly see he's got like, like a little smart device in his hand and he's controlling these fucking dogs with, um,
01:12:00
Speaker
I'm like, oh my god, oh my god. And so I guess you see right now is like two like mechanical dogs are just fucking chasing people through the floor, the cornfield. I want to try and take photos of the dogs. Oh, high end camera. That's gonna be good. Okay. Yeah. How about we heavy roll a camera check? How do you do that? You don't have camera skills. Oh, man.
01:12:22
Speaker
Let's already hear that. Well, you know what? Why don't we just make it then a dexterity check to see if you can operate a heavy machine? Yeah, operate a heavy machine, this heavy ass camera. Dexterity 43. Yeah, you snap a couple of good pics of these dogs while they're in motion chasing people. You got a really good one of one of the one of the zombie dogs kind of like nipping at one of the one of the heels of like one of these guys dressed up as the pope. And it's a really great picture. It's meme-able for sure.
01:12:52
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Post-synchod like so many likes and a means. You're going to get so many likes where it's just like, you know, when when you're when you're Christ doesn't have a bone or something. I don't know. Just whatever meme you would put on. I don't know. Jesus Christ can't save you from Fido or something.
Building Tension and Scary Atmosphere
01:13:13
Speaker
So you get a really good picture and then you hear off in the distance, you hear more blood curdling screams. Oh, my God.
01:13:21
Speaker
I wanna go there. And as you go there, you see like this heavy smoke starts to fill the cornfield. It's like a blue smoke with like little green hues kind of like flashing in it. It's really high digital effect looking shit, but in real life. And you hear people just like fucking screaming and you head that way. Yeah, yeah.
01:13:47
Speaker
As you head that way, it's hard to see because there's just a big thicket of corn everywhere. You can see just all around you, the smoke is billowing and filling. And then you hear some pretty grotesque noises around you. It's almost as if you're stepping in jelly or that squish squish sound. And you just hear people just fucking screaming, blood curdling screams. So the farther into the corn fields you go, the less jovial noises you start to hear.
01:14:17
Speaker
I don't like that. It sounds like people are pretty terrified in this part of the field. I don't really think much about that because it's like a Halloween thing, but I do want to turn back because that sounds like foods are getting dirty and I don't like that. Yeah, there's a lot of people like the scariest shit they put in this part of the field.
Confusion in the Cornfield
01:14:38
Speaker
People are fucking terrified. But while keeping my distance to ruin my entire outfit, I want to see if I can see something from a camera. Try Spot Hidden. It's going to be... I'm going to need a hard success because you are in the thick of a cornfield. So I click on Hard and then on Spot Hidden, right? That's correct, sir. You got it.
01:15:00
Speaker
Nice. Holy fuck. You're trying to like sift through the corn. You're trying to lean through. You're trying to find like maybe where some people trampled some of the corn or moved it out of the way as they were moving through. And you see just briefly, it looks like a big tuft of that smoke. It's in like one concentrated area that you can happen to see through your camera.
01:15:24
Speaker
And then weirdly, it jumps. And then all of a sudden, whatever's creating the smoke isn't where it was anymore. Almost like if a smoke machine just got fucking thrown somewhere else. And then just within a blink of a moment, it leaps across the field. And then you hear somebody else scream very loudly. And the smoke is now coming from your right side. But the source of the smoke just fucking totally just blipped away and went somewhere else.
01:15:52
Speaker
did i catch a photo from whatever what did that were you taking a picture or were you just looking through your lens to see i wanted to like look through my camera and like if i see like something that like looks important for like my objective right now to uh roll a dexterity check and you're gonna need an extreme success to get a clear picture of extreme success
01:16:13
Speaker
Yes, you're going to need a really good holy crap. Jesus fucking Christ. How are you doing this? You wanted number two. How? How are you doing this? I'm just so good at photographing. Oh my goodness. It's a hidden talent. So you snap a picture and you look and you can see as this thing was moving, you caught like
01:16:38
Speaker
As it jumped from one end to the other, you cut just a picture in time that the smoke is on your right side, but you see a couple of legs that are sticking out of the bottom of the smoke that look kind of dog-ish, like some sort of canine-like looking creature, maybe like a dog or a wolf or something, sticking out of the smoke a little bit as it moved. That should be a picture. Yeah. And I turn around and walk away.
01:17:08
Speaker
You're on a walk away. So did you have the flash on so you could get a better picture? Or no? I was thinking about it actually earlier. And given it's like a really high-end camera, I think that it has the ability to brighten up the image with like... So you're just going to tech it afterwards? Okay. Yeah.
01:17:29
Speaker
So as you're walking back, Dexter, you start to notice that the smoke is getting closer to
Smoke and Orange Dot Mystery
01:17:37
Speaker
you. It's following the direction that you're in. I don't like that. Whatever creature is here that you might need to get a picture of or maybe a better picture of, they're following you. They might be trying to scare you more.
01:17:50
Speaker
I walk faster. Then as you start to walk faster, you feel this vibration under your feet. You see the corn around you is starting to twist a little bit. The blue and green smoke is getting thicker, and then you start to hear it. I can't make the noise or I would, but it's like a reverse scream of
01:18:19
Speaker
Like a reverse howling almost kind of like, like inward singing more like a kind of noise as it gets closer to you and like your visibility is getting worse. Not only are you in the thick of a cornfield, but the smoke is following you and it's moving as fast as you're moving. I do think that my character will get kind of nervous at that point and like start running to like the entrance to like meet up with your people because that will make me feel safer.
01:18:48
Speaker
Okay, as you're doing that, you hear over the loudspeaker, you see that like, like the green hue has turned to more like a red hue. Or I'm sorry, it's an orange hue. And you hear on the announcements,
01:19:04
Speaker
Hey, just for the just for all the crowds. If you happen to have an orange dot on your hand, you were awarded a special prize. Please report to the horror house. Everybody else, keep taking those pictures and we will be with you soon to see who's the winner. And that did not remotely sound like the guy who usually does the announcements, but like somebody got on the on the mic and made the announcement. And then as you're dashing towards the front,
01:19:34
Speaker
Um, uh, I need you to make a, um, just a general luck roll. A luck roll. Yeah.
01:19:45
Speaker
My first failure. Your first failure. You start to run and then you trip over something kind of hard and it just sends you crashing to the ground and you kind of like you fucking land on top of your camera and it's hard as fuck and it just kind of like sends like a shock through your chest.
Panic and Realization of Danger
01:20:02
Speaker
Oh shit. And then like as kind of like you're starting to scramble to your feet you notice that there's like a person that you tripped over that like half of them are just not there.
01:20:13
Speaker
Um, it's just, uh, so, and it, that shit looks fucking real, like the realest shit you've ever seen. So I've had some, like I tripped over people and they're just laying there. You tripped over a laying person and half of their body is not there. Ah, that's what you mean. Okay. Yes. Uh, and it is very graphic, very gory. Could you please make a sanity rule? Sanity rule. Uh, yes. That's a failure. Can you roll one D 10 please?
01:20:44
Speaker
1d10. Yes. It's a seven. Oh, shit. So you lose seven sanity. As I as you start to kind of realize that you don't think that that is a special effect that looks very real, at least in your mind, it feels real. Yeah. Your mind starts to just run me an intelligence role. And this one, you have to fail. Otherwise, you can't
01:21:12
Speaker
Well, you didn't fail it. You succeeded on it. I succeeded. So you recognize that now that you're really paying attention, you're looking, you're scared, your senses are high, your adrenaline's running, your heart's beating really fast.
01:21:29
Speaker
You're a very smart guy, so maybe you're like, oh, that's fake, that's fake. But as you really start to look at this body that you tripped over, you have blood on your shoes. You put two and two together like, holy shit, this is probably a real person that just somehow got ripped in fucking pieces. And that just sends you into a place that you've never been before. So I'm gonna say that for, can you roll another 1D10, please?
01:21:56
Speaker
1d10 oh my god no so pretty much for the rest of the evening you are going to be incredibly paranoid
01:22:08
Speaker
Like you're very untrusting. You don't know who to trust. Somebody in this place is a murderer. They're probably coming after you right now. Just everything is out to get you. And you have to preserve your own self at this point. Like something is amiss here and you don't need to be a part of it. Oh shit, this was my mom. She told me to go here.
01:22:31
Speaker
I need to hide. So and I'm just gonna say for the time being you just I'm gonna say that you just run fucking deeper into the cornfield to get away to disguise yourself like just for a brief moment you lose control yourself and you feel your legs running beneath you that they're just moving out of instinct and you're just fucking running.
01:22:55
Speaker
And you just find yourself deeper and deeper into this cornfield to get away from the smoke to get away from the people and you have no control over it, but you have been screaming for 30 seconds straight as You fucking just run through the forest or through the field
01:23:11
Speaker
Meanwhile, we cut back to the hey place.
Mechanical Monster Encounter
01:23:16
Speaker
You guys are having a great time in there. You took a picture of a zombie. Man, I was having a great time in here, Hortensia, until I said something about, what's this orange dots to give you a price? This is bullshit. Yeah, you guys both have black dots on your hands. Why didn't I get an orange dot? I mean, it would have totally clashed this up anyway.
01:23:39
Speaker
Your orange and yellow would have just been way too much. I suppose I would have looked a little bit at these, wouldn't I? Anyway, we've got to find some more fellows with weird faces.
01:23:54
Speaker
As you guys make your way through the corn maze again, you see that there is a small crowd around. It looks like some sort of like mechanical, like, it kind of looks like a much scarier version of Sully from Monsters, Inc. It's probably like eight feet tall, blue with like purple stripes all over it, but like really gnarly teeth, black eyes, like blood all over it.
01:24:20
Speaker
And again, you can see kind of like a guy in a scarecrow kind of like pressed up against the back of it He's not very well hidden But like the point is just to look at that thing and he's kind of like manipulating it with a smartphone making it move and it's going like bra And it's like moving its fucking big-ass mechanical arms and shit and scaring people People are taking pictures from afar cuz they're afraid to get close to it because it's fucking massive But you do see that
01:24:48
Speaker
Let's go get the money shot. Let's get a little close. Let's go get a money shot. Can you get on your knees, Sully? Look up at the camera. So you're going to get a picture of Monster? Yeah, let's go get one. Let's go. You hear from like a speaker in the back of this thing's throat, I am not cute. I am your nightmare.
01:25:14
Speaker
I don't know whose nightmare, but it's definitely not mine. Okay, then. As as like, it's like swinging its arms around and stuff like that. Come get your photo, little humans. But first, you must bow to me. Oh, my God, you're so cute. Look at you.
01:25:39
Speaker
Just take the picture, lady. She does. You just hear, God fucking some people just don't appreciate art. You know how long this took me to make and operate? I mean. I mean.
01:26:03
Speaker
And then you, uh, you, uh, Dagmar, actually, why don't you both roll a spot hidden real quick, just to kind of give you, or, or no, you know what, I take it, a lid, a listen, roll a listen roll, please. Okay. Oh my god, you both rolled dog shit. I'm like, um, I'm kind of starting to think here, um, this, uh, this maze kind of sucks. This guy's got this, he's talking through the damn machine. It's not fun.
01:26:28
Speaker
You think Dexter's having more fun in just a giant cornfield out there? Yeah. Probably not, no. I imagine it's like, you think he's having fun and then there's like a picture in picture where he's like, oh, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it, fuck it. Probably got the living shit scared out of him over there. He did look like a little sissy boy.
01:26:55
Speaker
It's funny that you guys both wrote a 98 and a 97 respect. Yeah. That's technically, technically that is a critical failure or a fumble. But I usually don't like to play by those roles. I usually just go if it's a straight 100 or a straight one.
Urgency at the Horror House
01:27:11
Speaker
But typically, if you're like out of like five or 10 of like a certain number, it's just a straight up full on you fucked up. But I don't care.
01:27:18
Speaker
That's right, audience. I'm playing. Listen, so not good idea. You just decided to implode and know that your ears just exploded. But yeah, so you just hear like a lot of muffled voices and stuff like that. And then you hear on the loudspeaker one more time here. Okay, just again, if you have an orange dot, you need to get to the horror house like right now because you're
01:27:44
Speaker
Your prize is getting away, okay? You just, just get to the, okay? Just, just get there. Um, over and out. And here. What does he think if we, if we showed up over there, they would just let us in? Sounds like they're desperate for people to come in. I mean, maybe we could be like, look, we could be scary. Rawr. Rawr. You've got, you know, you're the, you know, um,
01:28:08
Speaker
American woman, you could be like, I want your manager. And they'll be like... Oh my god, I could totally use my press badge. I totally forgot I had one. Oh my god. My Nana, she tells me all the time, Hortensia, if you didn't have your hat attached, then you would probably lose that too. She's so silly.
01:28:33
Speaker
Oh, right. Well, let's find a way out of this place. I feel like we have a Baxter dealing with Sasha situation right now. Just a different version of Sasha. Let's just go to that whorehouse and see if we can get in.
01:28:49
Speaker
Oh my god, okay. You guys make your way out of the rest of the maze pretty quickly with your excellent intellectual intelligence skills. I keep getting tagged where he keeps looking up at the stars. He's like, all right, how do I get out of here? Yeah, he's like, yes, hey, where's it? I'm navigating. You know, roll one more intelligence roll for shits and gigs, Dagmar. I want to see how well you roll. I success it. Nice, you success it. Although you failed because you went away from 69. You failed with the humor.
01:29:19
Speaker
You, yeah, you make your way out there pretty quickly just to get the fuck out to go make your way to the horror house. And as you do that, you see that there are a few people, it's probably like maybe three people that are kind of standing outside. And you see the gentleman with the head, the striped hat from the tables kind of standing there and he's kind of checking their hands. And you see he's kind of like just like flipping their hands over a little bit and kind of like checking their eyes real quick. And he goes, all right, right this way, right this way. And he's kind of mushing them in.
01:29:48
Speaker
And then you see he kind of does it again. And he like much as the next person and he's like, Oh, sorry. Nope. Just the orange, just the orange dots, please. Uh, just go back and enjoy the festivities. Just the orange dots are allowed in the horror house at this time. Thank you. Right. I'm going to try and sneak past the fella.
01:30:06
Speaker
Okay, so I'm impressed. She holds up her badge and she motions for Dagmar to go around him. She's like, I'm impressed, and I just have a couple questions for you. Can you roll me a stealth real quick to see if you can do that motion without anybody noticing you doing that? Okay. I'm like, I'm a dah-dah-dah-dah-dah, wave me on. Can I duck by a port-a-potty or something?
01:30:36
Speaker
Yeah, you can you can try to roll stealth as well if you like. I don't do. Oh, my God. So this game is really hard. So so you knock over to a porta potty. You just like you try to dash towards it to try to like fucking get it there. You're like, and it's empty.
01:31:00
Speaker
And, uh, you see, he's like, no, no, I know what you're trying to do. Look, it's nothing special. I mean, there is, but like, it's just like some extra candy for the adults, like special candy, like edibles. That's all. So, um, I like edibles. Before you know it, before you know it, you have a gun in your face and he says, all right, look, I tried to be fucking nice.
Confrontation and Gunfire
01:31:23
Speaker
Get away from the horror house now.
01:31:30
Speaker
You're off by the porta-potties he's like so just to kind of give you a better stage before you make any movements I know like it's like a whole house you go up like a little set of stairs and like everything's up on like a platform and like a door that you like he's mushing people into so you have to like hop up over the railing to get to him you can try it if you want and
01:31:49
Speaker
But like you would need like make a sprint towards him and he just you just saw him pull a gun on Hortense. Yeah, that one makes sense. Hey wall my wall there guys It's not right to put a gun in the lady's face. Come on He like takes a few steps back and he like just takes the other person has the orange dot and says just get the fuck in here and he like Shoves the girl in and shuts the door behind him for a second and he says alright look no hard feelings Okay, I just
01:32:13
Speaker
Look, this prize is just really special, okay? And look, you know what? You want to do a job for me? Go and find everybody who's got an orange dot and just send them here, okay? Because for some fucking reason, some people aren't listening, okay? What the fuck, right? I mean, we could fill in if you need to. Fuck you. He points the gun at you across the way. He goes, all right, I'm not going to say it again, all right? If you don't just get a step away from where you are, I'm going to open fire on you and people are just going to think it's a sound effect from the party, okay?
01:32:42
Speaker
Oh my god, Dagmar. Let's just go. This isn't worth it. He's dumb. Okay, yeah, I'm dumb. Okay, whatever. Just leave. Yeah, even with your dumb butt and your dumb face and your dumb knees. Knees are weird. I'm going for a sneeze. Yeah, dumb knees. Alright, Hortensia, come on down here. It's alright. Oh my god, okay. Uh, Hortensia, he shoots you.
01:33:12
Speaker
He rolled a 23. He fucking, he shoots you. He shoots you for... He shoots you for five damage. He wings you in the fucking arm and just blasts you. And hits you for five damage. And he says, I fucking told you, I'm not fucking around. And this loud shot just echoes out of this little pistol he's holding.
01:33:40
Speaker
How much how much health do you have normally Hortensia? Where do I find that? Your health is where your health is where hit points is underneath your Oh, there it is. I did not even see it. Okay, he shoots you for five points of damage. So he shoots you for five. So you have seven now? Yes. Yeah. So can you please roll a sanity roll as this dude just fucking shot you and you're bleeding a ton of your own blood right now?
01:34:07
Speaker
How do you dare you like make me bleed my own butt?
01:34:16
Speaker
Oh my god, I'm like bleeding, what the fuck? Oh my god, I'm like dying, are you serious? How could you rationalize being shocked? It like sucks. It's like sucks, I'm like bleeding my own blood. Alright, so you only lose one sanity since you succeeded. But yeah, you're fucking bleeding hardcore out of your arm, like you need to get that attended to because you're bleeding hard.
01:34:43
Speaker
I fucking told you back the fuck up when he points again over to you Dagmar, he goes, you better take your fucking dumb ass girlfriend here and get the fuck away. Hey, alright fella, Jesus, god damn, you know what I think somebody fucks sick. He shoots at you.
Critical Injuries and First Aid
01:34:58
Speaker
But since you're a little bit farther away, we're gonna do a little defense so you can roll a dexterity or a dodge roll to dodge as he tries to shoot you. Okay.
01:35:09
Speaker
Success. Hard. Success. He rolled a 10 on his D100. Fucking you rolled a 12. Wow, they're both hard successes, so he's still going to hit you. Unfortunately. So what did I roll for that before? I think it was. What did I roll for hers? Was it a D10? I've been here for a good time. I feel honestly fucking attacked right now. Oh, my God. I hit you for eight points of damage. Jesus Christ. How do I? Wow. How much else do you have?
01:35:40
Speaker
13. Well, he hits you for 14 points of damage. He fucking just blasts you. And so you're not dead, but you are in a very bad state right now as he just fucking like hits you in the in the chest and like your your jacket absorbs a lot of it for a second. But like then the bullet pierces through and kind of goes to one of your one of your ribs and you're you're fucking on the ground by a port like a laid down port of shit.
01:36:08
Speaker
Hortensia, he is bleeding out. You need to do something about that. Does anybody have a medicine role? Yes. Not a good one. You don't want to try to roll that. And as you see that, like the guy like dips into the fucking dips into the into the. Or into into the whorehouse and just like shuts the door behind him.
01:36:35
Speaker
And you guys, you're bleeding and Dagmar's like bleeding on the fucking, on the pavement where the port of shivers are. I wasn't even doing anything too more than, why the fuck did he shoot me? I don't know. He did the same thing to me. I just called him his stupid dumb face. Yeah, I was just telling him to calm down and he fucking did the opposite effect. And you see like other people are kind of crowding around. You're like, what the fuck was that? And like.
01:37:06
Speaker
One guy's like, I'm a doctor, I can help you. Hi guys, thank goodness, because we are dying. And I'm like, oh, wait a second. You're like an actual dressed up like a doctor. He's like dressed like a doctor. He's like, I'm a doctor, I got you. All right, you want to roll medicine to try to like suppress the bleeding a bit to keep him alive? I have a one in medicine. Maybe not. First aid, first aid, first aid. There's a first aid skill. You have a better skill than that.
01:37:36
Speaker
Beggmar, if you have first aid, you can also try to help her with that since you're still conscious. Oh my god. No, like a Beggmar, something like a damn fish. Okay, so Hortensia, if you want, and if this becomes a campaign, this will be problematic later, because you rolled pretty poorly. You can either push the roll, if you fail it, you will hurt him severely. But if you succeed, you will help him greatly. However, you could also spend some of your luck. I don't know how much luck you have.
01:38:05
Speaker
But you can spend however much luck you need to get a 30. Because you rolled a 58. But once you spend that luck, it's really hard to get it back. I have 40 luck. So you could spend however much 58 minus 30 is, what, 28 luck to get a 30 to help succeed and help heal him. But then you won't get that luck back for either ever or for a really long time. You'll never get that much back at once. So you'll just deduct it off of your luck. So you can either spend your luck or push or roll.
01:38:35
Speaker
So like, can she pull out her phone and call 911? I mean, you can do that. I'm tired. You're not 28 like I'm tired. She's going to put her hand over the wound. Please on me. So are you going to push your role, accept the failure or spend luck?
01:38:57
Speaker
I don't know what an insult it is down these. I'll try to roll again. Dagmar's life depends on it. You're going to push the roll. Now, just so you know, if you fail a pushed roll, you cannot spend luck on it. Either way, just try it. So you can spend luck or push the roll. So Dagmar, you did roll a 31 on yours, so you got a regular success.
01:39:27
Speaker
Um, so like you're trying to coach her through it and she is just fucking this up because like, I just do this, just do this. Uh, and she's pushing in the wrong places and she's leaning on you and she calls 911. You know, just to give you yourself a chance to save yourself, give you a chance to save yourself is what I meant to say. Allow myself to introduce myself. Um,
01:39:52
Speaker
You can roll one more medicine check, Dagmar, to try to correct her. Or first aid, sorry, excuse me. I think medicine's actually to understand certain things. I think first aid's applicable, shit. Right, medical medicine, I'm sure is probably like actual medicines and, you know, more in-depth. All right.
01:40:12
Speaker
Fuck, I don't know what to tell you. You rolled a fail. Now, Dagmar, you can roll your own luck if you want to get that to a 50 to succeed, or you can push your luck or push your roll. But I will say, if you push it and you fail, you're dead. I'm going to use my luck because I'm not afraid to spend my own luck on my own life. Okay.
01:40:33
Speaker
So you spend your luck. Coach, you're just in the right place. You stop enough of the bleeding. It was a clean puncture, so the bullet did come out the other side, thankfully. And so you are as stable as you can possibly be with a bullet wound to your chest. You were fortunate that it didn't hit your heart. It may have punctured one of your lungs. I'm going to say you're hanging on by one HP.
01:40:59
Speaker
Artensia, I look good to some good news is gonna come out of this I think I might
Paranoia and Escape Attempt
01:41:05
Speaker
find students place. I might get more than ten thousand dollars So while you're doing that we cut back to Dexter who is running through the cornfield Dexter after a few minutes of just straight running your body can't run anymore. You have to stop you're exhausted
01:41:26
Speaker
Do you still hear whispers and screams of people around you? Again, you are still a little paranoid. It's not that you don't have your faculties anymore, but you're going to struggle to trust other people. But now that you've run for a minute, your adrenaline's lessening, you don't see the smoke right now, what do you do? I should get back to my car.
01:41:54
Speaker
You just gonna go to your car? He's like fucking I'm out. He's like fuck this place. He's like I'm outta here. Fuck. I just don't really like what's going on here. I heard gunshots. This is a bad neighborhood. Okay. And I'm going to tell mom that I will never leave the house again. I'll never leave the house again. I'm working from home forever. I'm gonna door dash all my food.
01:42:24
Speaker
Um, all right. Would you please roll? How about just a straight, um, about an intelligence role? Um, firstly, to see if you can find your way out of here. That's a failure. Oh, no. Now I did roll a 76. Right. You can spend one luck point out of the however many you have to make that a 75. So yeah. Um, so yeah, you remember roughly the direction that you came from originally when you split up with your group?
01:42:52
Speaker
And you do remember, oh crap, my group is here. But then you're also just like, oh no, maybe they were in on it. Who knows? They might've been part of the problem. I was a stranger, so whatever. I was going to say, they might've set you up on this whole thing. Maybe they're all part of the whole group. It's true.
01:43:11
Speaker
Um, and then you hear an announcement one more time as like you're making your way back towards where you came from. One more last call. I cannot stress this enough. If you have an orange dot on your hand, you need to get here now. Um, as you make your way through and you see like over by the gallows, somebody's hanging from them now.
Hortensia's Discovery of Dagmar
01:43:30
Speaker
Um,
01:43:32
Speaker
And, um, as you make your way back, you have to walk past, uh, the, um, the horror house. You can see that like laying outside of the horror house by like the porta potties is like your friend laying in a pool of his own blood while Hortensia sits over top of him with her phone pressed her ear. Um, uh, so that looks pretty suspicious. Um, and you can see like off over the horizon, like billowing above the corn stalks is like more fucking smoke, um, is moving towards you.
01:44:02
Speaker
Did you hear people screaming in the background? What do you do? I would like to try and ignore everything. Just my whole surroundings and just run straight to where I think my car is. Interesting.
01:44:19
Speaker
You know what? Let's make that because you're going to have to let's make that power. So power is usually what you roll for like willpower. So I'm going to need a hard success on willpower because you are struggling with these demons, this trauma that you've experienced. Yes. So I'm going to have hard success from power.
01:44:38
Speaker
Yes. Owly fuck. 13. You rolled a 13, man. That is a hard success. This guy is hacksores. Literally, I want the secret because me and Justin have failed this whole time.
01:44:54
Speaker
So Hortensia's got a bullet wound in her arm, like a Dagmar's laying with a bullet wound to his chest, and he's just like, I'm running, I'm leaving. And you make your way, you find the best way, you plug your ears, you focus, you use some of your fingers as you plug with your thumb. I can't hear you. I can't hear you as your camera falls to pieces, as you're running. Right in a serious manner, you're probably saying, this is not real, it's not real. Right, it's not real, it's not real.
01:45:23
Speaker
So you're just continuing to make your way towards your car. I would say Hortensia, you probably see him, you recognize him like he's running. He's got his hands over his ears and he's just kind of briskly walking. Are you running? Are you running or walking? He's running. He's just fucking with his hands over his ears, running away from the cornfield towards where the parking lot is. Oh my god. Dexter, I need your help.
01:45:52
Speaker
I can't hear you. I can't hear you. 911 help. You hear? Right there. Dagmar, you are laying in a puddle of your own blood. She's trying to call the police. Ambulance, what do you do? Fucking guys still calling for people, Lord. Fuck you guys.
01:46:22
Speaker
Uh, what can I do? I'm literally almost dead. I mean, you can move, uh, you can't move very fast because you have a bullet wound, um, and a potentially collapsed lung, but, um, you're still alive. Well, if that's the case, then Hortensia is going to grab him and like, like kind of put his arm around her shoulder and try to get him out of there. Get me to the parking lot. We got to, we've got to call the police.
01:46:50
Speaker
Yes. As you guys are trying to make your way out of there, you hear like a lot. As like more people are screaming and Hortensia, you can see as you're kind of helping him up and move away, you can see like big billows of blue and green smoke are forming like closer and closer to you. And it's jumping around as if somebody's like tossing a smoke machine in different directions.
01:47:19
Speaker
and it's getting really close to you guys and as it does it bursts out of the cornfield into the clearing that you guys are standing in where all of like the merchants and stuff are and you see there's just like a big ball almost like a sphere of smoke that's moving towards you with like nothing no machine no no mechanisms it's just slowly moving towards you every once in a while you can see just like like a
01:47:46
Speaker
Kind of like a tendril-like movement, kind of like slapping out of it and then getting sucked back into it. Would you guys please roll sanity for me? Sure. Nice. Yes. Oh, damn. I got a fucking... Oh, I'm super... Oh, fuck off. I'm smoking. So you guys both only lose one sanity from seeing this. You, for the most part, you keep your faculties together. You're just a little spooked by what's going on.
01:48:17
Speaker
And then you hear that like noise again as it gets louder and closer to you and is jumping around like it's like a glitch in like real life. As getting closer to you and as you see it move like droplets of blood just keep like splattering underneath it as if like it's as if like it's leaving a mark where it just was. Okay.
01:48:41
Speaker
Oh my god, let's just get out of here and keep your head down. Let's run. Do I need to roll intelligence to be able to determine that this might be something fucked up? You can if you want to. I wouldn't assume, but I feel like maybe pieced together at something. Do you think Dagmar would? Maybe, yeah, maybe. So you're like, you kind of had your- I've seen Hortensia. Oh, I've seen smoke in my day. That's not, I don't know what that's about.
01:49:08
Speaker
As you're really looking at it and you kind of scrutinize it as you move, because you can't move that fast, you're seeing that like, you notice that like little feet are like kind of poking out of the smoke a little bit. And then you see like, the smoke dissipates like intermittently, you can see kind of like a weird looking quadrupedal,
01:49:31
Speaker
image flashing at you every once in a while and it's got like kind of like a weird tendril looking tongue-like apparatus that keeps protruding out of its face hole. Okay. I push for 10 feet away from me. Get out of here! You can't take me with you! I'm too slow! Go! Something's fucking not right in this place! Oh my god, no. You're coming with me. Let's get out of here.
01:49:57
Speaker
Um, I don't want to have a long argument. You ever do. She's just pulling him. She don't care. She's pulling it. You're just dragging him. He's like, roll, roll dexterity, Dagmar to get on your feet.
01:50:14
Speaker
You stumble just enough and you fucking stay on your feet as she's like tugging on you to move And you see like other people are like also fleeing from the cornfield and they're running some of them are kind of staggering and then like You see up ahead of you as you're fleeing somebody's getting towards their car Dexter you also see this like all of a sudden this thing shows up there in between two cars and then just you just see like this probiscus like things stab out of the of the
01:50:42
Speaker
of the smoke and then just fucking looks like it cuts a person in half and pulls the upper torso into the smoke with it.
Mysterious Creature Attack
01:50:52
Speaker
And fucking just like legs just drop to the ground. And he just lets out that noise. Please roll sanity again.
01:51:03
Speaker
All of us are just him, did he just say that? Everybody who saw it, every single one of you have to roll it. Oh my goodness. I was willing to hit the ground. Why did I sometimes say hot six? You took some success. Because if you roll under a certain number, you hit different barometers of what your successes look like. That's all. So you only lose two sanity as you witness this grotesque
01:51:31
Speaker
just seen of just somebody getting fucking split in twain. And then definitely don't think that was fake. It's just a flesh wound. It's just a flesh wound. I bought your knees, I bought your ankles. So Dexter, you're almost to your car and you just saw somebody get cut in half. What do you do? I mean, I would still try to get away from here because this is a nightmare.
01:52:01
Speaker
All right, how are you going to get out of there? So whatever this thing is that's following you, you've seen it for the first time. How close is it to, like, my car? It's in the parking lot, and it can jump, so it's not far from anything. That sucks. Just like you said that a lot. Huh, well, that sucks. Staying calm in the face of danger. Huh, well, this whole thing really sucks, doesn't it? I mean, you can try to get to your car if you want.
01:52:31
Speaker
I mean, if the thing is there, then we probably wouldn't want to go like towards it. What do you want to do? Would Hortensia see him?
01:52:42
Speaker
I would say you probably can see him if he stopped but you guys are still probably maybe like 50-60 yards away from him as he was running but like yeah he's closer to the parking lot you guys are making your way there from the field but you could probably see him and a few others that are just like what the fuck for something that I can hide behind like a big rock or something there's probably some trees you can probably dip behind and try to hide you can do a stealth roll if you like to hide from it I have pretty bad stealth roll but I think hiding would be
01:53:10
Speaker
Let's see if you do. You know what, Roll20's been kind to you so far, so let's see if you do it. And he does. Look at that. Oh my freaking god. Wow. So yeah, you manage to just get behind like a tree and press yourself as close to it as you can as you hear other people fucking screaming. You see one person drops to the ground on their knees and it's just holding on to their head and they're just rocking back and forth.
01:53:37
Speaker
trying to soothe themselves and before you know it that tuft of smoke is over top of them and then when the smoke leaves and jumps somewhere else there's just like legs left. So it doesn't like the legs. I think just most of the juicy bits are in the upper container. Once like jumps away again I'm trying to make like a bee line for my car. A bee line? You're gonna walk in a bee instead of like an eye?
01:54:05
Speaker
Yes. That's going to take you longer to get there. I'm going to like run to my car. All right. I'm trying to see if there's anything other than like there's an athletics in this game. I don't know if there is or if it's just.
01:54:20
Speaker
Uhm, role anthropology. Role anthropology, please. Hero to 66. Oh, I can finally. No, but that was for anthropology. You know what, how about we just make it, uhm, come here a quick little guy. It is, uh, but I feel like you're dexterous enough that you can just make it there. You know what, let's have a hard success on dexterity.
01:54:48
Speaker
See if you can get a hard. That's not a success. It's a hard failure. But I do have some luck left. You have some luck left. You can spend it if you like to make that a success.
01:55:02
Speaker
That is a for luck, I'll do that. Okay. So you spend, that's the time to spend luck is when it's only a few that you need to spend. Um, so you get to your car. Um, this thing is hopping around the parking lot, like fucking crazy, letting out that cry, uh, Hortensia and Dagmar. You can see now see your friend in a full on fucking sprint, dip in between trees, hopping over the fucking guard rail and making a, a strange B line where he's running in a capital B shape for his car. Um,
01:55:31
Speaker
What do you guys do? I probably wouldn't even fucking notice them, Mom. All right. I'm looking. What kind of car are they? I've only got my station wagon. And I can't drive. I'm on state. Oh, my God. I can drive it. All right. Fish the keys out of my pocket and get over there. It's right over there. Okay, let's go. My plate says, Dagman. Dagman. Dagman. All right, let's go.
01:55:56
Speaker
So, um, you guys, uh, let's have you both roll a combined, you know, at Dagmar, let's have you do another dexterity to try to stay on your feet. Um, and then we will have, um, you know, we'll have, uh,
01:56:14
Speaker
Let's have Hortensia do strength to see if you can keep supporting him, like while you're moving him to get him to the car. I've got you a success. It's a 43 on success. Holy shit. In a time of panic and strength when you need it at most, you summon.
01:56:30
Speaker
Like a mom looks at a car off of her kids. It's these hips, baby. You channel the power of your hips and you fucking power Dagmar back up to his back. You become like the most stable Kane ever. And you move towards the car, you get him into the station wagon, you hop in the front. You channel the power of anime, I ain't got.
01:56:49
Speaker
It's right. You do it. And Dexter, you get to your car as well. And you see this thing drops out of the smoke onto the hood of your car, Dexter. And then just like you see like this fucking like it's like a giant. It's like if you mix a naked mole rat with a dog and like heart fucking snake tentacle. It's fucking face.
01:57:18
Speaker
Its face looks like... Yeah, you're like, beep, beep, get the fuck off my car, you dick! Um, its face looks like a melted, like a melted sock, like it's all kind of droopy, uh, and like pointed, and it's got like a little fork at the end of it, uh, it's got like a hanging mouth, it's got like a bunch of teeth in it, um, and like, it like just like starts puncturing the fucking glass with, uh, with its tongue, as it's trying to break through to get to you.
01:57:47
Speaker
What do you do?
Dexter's Fear and Fainting
01:57:49
Speaker
Aside from the horn. The horn has no effect. If I am in control of HECLC, so I'll try to like press on the gas. Oh, roll sanity first because you've never seen this thing exactly like this before. So first set. Oh, wow. That's up.
01:58:08
Speaker
That's a big ol' fail. Ouch. Oh, by the way, you cannot use luck on sanity rolls. I don't think you can push the rolls on sanity either. I have to look that up, but I know you can't use luck on them. So let's do... Wow, you lose 10 fucking sanity. I said an 18. Huh? I said an 18. I don't know why your sanity is an 18. Success. Did you roll a hard? Did you try to roll a hard success?
01:58:38
Speaker
I did, yeah. That's probably why it says 18. What is your sanity normally? My sanity is normally, it would still be a fail. Okay. So you lose 10 sanity, which is a lot to fucking lose at a time. Yes. So I- It makes sense though, because of what's happening. Yeah. Please roll an intelligence roll.
01:58:59
Speaker
Oh shit, you don't want a success. So you are like taking in the gravity of what's happening. Everything that you thought was happening is fucking happening. Something is out to get you. This is an otherworldly being like some type of creature. That's the only thing you can think of is some alien somewhere from out of space. You're screwed. Your car is punctured like your heart.
01:59:27
Speaker
Everything is fucked. You are just so crippled with fear that you are white knuckling your steering wheel and you are pressing on the brake as hard as you can thinking it's the gas pedal. You're just fucking pressing it and stomping the shit out of your brake pedal over and over and over and your car is just not moving.
01:59:47
Speaker
And your brain is just telling you that this is it, like you're done. So like your brain just starts to tell you just to relax and just accept what's going on. And before you know it, like just like you start to lose your vision and you just pass the fuck out. I thought it was happening. Yeah, you just like your heart is racing too fast and your brain, the only way it can protect you is to make you unconscious.
02:00:15
Speaker
Um, and so, um, what did you say? I'll tell you this since we're nearing the end of the episode, but you're, you're the one that got away.
02:00:40
Speaker
I tell you about the creature afterwards, but it has like certain motivations. One of them is to go after like it hunts. And once it has like a scent of somebody, it really fucking wants it.
02:00:55
Speaker
So that's why it wants your ass so much because it hasn't gotten any of your ass yet. So you guys are in the station wagon, Hortensia. I know what you said it was. Hortensia, please make a driving roll. It's called Drive Auto. I love that game. Oh no. Would you like to push your roll?
02:01:27
Speaker
You don't have to you don't have to but you can but if not the current going anywhere I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna try it. You're gonna push the roll. Yeah. All right, you're gonna push the roll. Oh
02:01:50
Speaker
You're laying there in the end of like you barely keeping conscious in the passenger seat she's fucking just like shifting
02:02:02
Speaker
Trying to get this thing to go. And then I'm going to say just out of like sheer like you're just like trying to press it and you're kind of leaning and everything like you're just like rocking the boat a little too much. The car is like backfiring. Fucking making a bunch of noise. It's an old car. And then before you know, you hear.
02:02:19
Speaker
And then fucking this thing is now on the hood of your car. And you see this thing for the first time. It's everything I described it as pretty much a giant quadrupedal naked mole rat with a melted face and a bunch of teeth. Can you both please make a sanity roll, please? Please. I didn't say please, I said please.
02:02:41
Speaker
Holy shit. This is the whole thing that we are fucking making right now. Good job. And you only lose three sanity instead of how much you would have if you failed the sanity roll. I've seen scarier things on the oceans. What do you do? The thing is on the hood of your car.
02:03:00
Speaker
We don't know what happened to you yet. We just know you're passed out in one in one of those Like movie moments where we have more time to make a dramatic. I look at her say I think see ya You've got to fucking leave me be there's a fish hook back there I'm gonna fish it out and I'm gonna take this thing I'm gonna go down with this ship if I have to I'm gonna try to start the car again Okay, make a dexterity roll to get your fish hook
02:03:26
Speaker
Heart success, you know exactly where the fuck that thing is. You snag it, no sweat. Your chest is killing you, like you fucking had to lean, like your ribs are fucking aching, your muscles are aching, you got blood coming out of your chest, but you fucking know exactly where to find that hook. Uh, Hortensia, please make another drive auto roll.
02:03:48
Speaker
Yes! Yes! 17! I got the car to start, motherfuckers. The car's starting. This thing is on top of your car. It's currently trying to pierce through the glass with its tongue. You got your hook. What do you do, Dagmar? I'm just staring at it with half...
02:04:07
Speaker
glazed over eyes waiting for it to break through you get the car started you get into the right gear you punch it you're fucking driving now you're going down the road and this thing is on the hood of the car fucking trying to pierce through the glass as you guys are fleeing
02:04:35
Speaker
You spray the cleaner and it like licks through it for a second and let's out of
02:04:40
Speaker
And it like rolls over to the side like for this and it's like on the passenger side of the hood now trying to avoid the spray. That's me rolling my window down. There's a whole crack. All right, you son of a bitch. What do you do, Dagmar? I lean out of the window as best I can. I try and shank it with the hook.
02:04:59
Speaker
All right, that would be a brawl, a brawl, and it's going to roll. 80 and this is what I've been building. I've been practicing my whole life for this very moment. Failure! No! Yay! Do you want to roll? Do you want to push it? What happens when I push it? What happens when I push it? I just re-roll it. If you push it, you re-roll it. And if you fail, the worst thing that could possibly happen happens. Or if you succeed, you'd get the thing that you want.
02:05:26
Speaker
It would be really funny if I failed again, I got ripped out of the car. Now, if you are going to push it, you have to tell me what you're doing, because like in real time, you're swinging at it and you're fucking beefing it.
02:05:38
Speaker
It's for the story. I'm going to say that it's starting to slip and slide across the hood, so I grab the shit bars above my head with my free hand, and I pull myself out further
Dagmar's Fish Hook Defense
02:05:47
Speaker
from the window. I'm like, get back down, you son of a bitch. I teach that son of a bitch to shoot me. All right. I got to roll its dodge to see if it'll... We'll have to see even if you hit though first. Yeah. For all we did, baby. 22 hearts against. Wow. Okay. They don't have a lot of dodge. They only have a 26 in dodge, so we'll see.
02:06:06
Speaker
They rolled a 76, so you fucking hate them, dude. And you get your, and since you went underneath, you get that extra damage, your bonus damage, roll that shit. Where's my web combat? Where's my weapon fish hook? Damage. That's not, how do you roll down? I guess you roll a d6, I guess. Yeah, so your damage is four, and then you do, if you have a bonus damage, oh no, it is one d6 plus one plus your d6, so I guess you only rolled four damage on it.
02:06:34
Speaker
It calculates it for you. So you slash it across the side for a second. I'm going to say like you hit it across the leg. It lets out a, and then just like disappears for a second. It appears like on the trunk behind you. Damn, I was going to say pop the trunk, but this isn't a new faggle car with those kind of buttons. I was going to say, so now it's on the backseat. Hortancia, you're driving. You're making your way down the road. What do you do? This thing disappeared and you drive to the hospital.
02:07:04
Speaker
You're gonna drive this thing to the hospital? Okay, so I'm not gonna make you do another drive unless it's out of, let's make it a dexterity roll. Cause this thing's like fucking like smashing on the car, trying to take you guys off the road. Make it a dexterity roll. Yeah, she's just trying to concentrate to drive. Oh, but in the reverse, slam it into a tree. Are you trying to, so you're trying to keep the car on the road? Are you putting the car in reverse?
02:07:33
Speaker
I'm trying to keep the car on the road to get us to the hospital, but at the same time helping him kind of doing the swerving, where trying to get him to knock him off to help Dagmar swipe him off of there. Okay. He's on the back of the car. Roll me one more drive auto for attention.
02:07:59
Speaker
Holy shit. Wow. A fucking hard success. Bad ass. Awesome. Coming in clutch because you only had a 20 year old at six. Fucking A. You're fucking all of a sudden you're summoning like your fucking GTA, your Gran Turismo skills. Fucking like just keeping this car on the road. You fish tail it and then you just see this fucking thing when it fucking rolls off the car. Let's out a loud shrill as you guys make your way off to the hospital. You hear it crying in the distance.
Escape to Safety
02:08:30
Speaker
You can see her flipping him off out the window as if she's driving away. It's like that scene in Jeepers Creepers where they fucking just roll over it like six times before they leave. And you make your way off to the hospital to get patched up, leaving this thing laying in your dust away. And then we cut back to Dexter, who is
02:08:57
Speaker
unscathed, physically, broken mentally. You wake up in your car several hours later, Dexter, there are sirens everywhere. Actually, you don't wake up in your car. You wake up in a fucking ambulance on your way to the hospital, I'm going to say, because by this point, people showed up, ambulances showed up, cops showed up. You don't remember anything that happened between the moment you passed out to this point that you have a respirator on.
02:09:25
Speaker
You're in an ambulance and you just see a guy standing above you, he goes, it's okay buddy, it's okay, I got you, I got you, just hang on, all right? And he's got oxygen on you, they're checking you for wounds and everything like that. Am I still paranoid? Oh yeah, you're paranoid for 10 hours. Then I'll try to escape. Plus, like actually it's more because you fell into a deeper recess, actually you're in like stage two insanity right now.
02:09:54
Speaker
so you're gonna try to escape the ambulance yeah absolutely fantastic i love that so fucking much it's just like fuck this fucking they're my damn self so what do you do what are you trying to do to get out of here i'm trying to like
02:10:17
Speaker
get like why and like jump out of the thing that I'm in like the bed I try to get off like the gurney and just like get out the get out the ambulance yeah all right so you try to get out the gurney this guy's like he's like no whoa buddy and he kind of puts a hand on yours what are you doing now you're listen we just gotta make sure you're okay we're gonna get you looked at okay buddy and all you hear yeah all you hear when he's talking to you really it's just like come with us we're the only ones that know what's best for you
02:10:46
Speaker
I will go back to my office and not leave her again. You can take me. Meanwhile, this the paramedic here. Are you going to just try to jump out the back? Yes, I'm just going to say you do that. I'm not going to make you roll. I'm just going to say this guy is blindsided by what you're doing. And before he can react, no one's ever done this to him before. I don't think he would even be prepared
02:11:14
Speaker
to catch somebody jumping out of a fucking ambulance. You bust through the back as the fucking ambulance is flying like 50 miles an hour and you just fucking roll onto the road. Can you roll a dexterity roll please?
02:11:29
Speaker
success damn okay good so you roll and you hit the ground I'm gonna say that falling out of the back of an ambulance is gonna be more damage you take just from just fucking skidding across the road and the dexterity check is like another cars behind you and you just it barely fucking misses you you managed to roll out of the way just in time before the grill catches your face
02:11:50
Speaker
And you're just laying in the grass by the side of the road. The cars are pulling over like, what the fuck? The ambulance hits the brakes ahead of you. What do you do? I stopped running.
02:12:01
Speaker
So, we end our episode with Dexter running in a full fucking Forrest Gump sprint off into the distance to wherever the fuck his office is, never to leave his house again.
Dexter's Ambulance Escape
02:12:15
Speaker
Oh my gosh. Good job, guys. What a fucking... That took a turn. Yeah, it did. I was worried because it didn't start for like 50 minutes. I was like, boy, I don't know what we're going to do. And I enjoyed the 50 minutes. Yeah.
02:12:37
Speaker
All right, well, thanks, everybody. I hope you enjoyed that. All of our
02:12:42
Speaker
People made it out and none of them unscathed, but they're all still alive. If you want to hear us do more Call of Cthulhu, please let us know. We could use the same characters and make some new ones or try to make something a little bit more streamlined. But we haven't done Call of Cthulhu in a long time, so I hope you guys enjoyed it. Did you guys all have fun? Did you enjoy Call of Cthulhu? Yeah.
02:13:04
Speaker
Would you want to do it again someday? Yeah. I mean, I expected something more easy when you said like, oh, it's the first thing. So we'll just do like an easy thing. Well, it was easy. It was easy. I picked one of the weakest creatures I could find. Oh, my God. I am broken. That guy is broken.
02:13:27
Speaker
I mean the dice rolls were just mean too though so like sometimes like when I rolled a shooting roll I wouldn't expect him to roll a 14 to kill fucking Dagmar or like or for you to have a 10 or to lose 10 sanity from the fucking get-go like that was just bad luck right there so like the thing was was you were rolling a lot of hard successes impossible rolls but then when it comes to like the funny thing was that I succeeded in normal things I know but like the other two succeeded only on their sanity rolls yeah yeah
02:13:57
Speaker
But everybody made it out virtually unscathed. I lie. Virtually scathed, I should say.
02:14:05
Speaker
So maybe we'll revisit these characters again. Hopefully we will. But in the meantime, thanks everybody. Keep an ear out in the next week or two. We'll also be working with our friend Arvelian to play their game. So I just got to get my brain wrapped around the adventure to do that. So keep an ear out for that. And then probably some more DDI, I think. I don't know what Justin has planned, but we'll figure it out as we go.
02:14:28
Speaker
Um, so we're not going to do a fact of the day or a question of the day. Uh, I'm just going to say the German word of the day is Kamara Kamara also auto auto. It's also German auto, like auto A U T O. Yes. That's why I was quite confused. It says drive auto because auto is German for car. We just stole English from Americans. Yeah.
02:14:56
Speaker
I think I've got nothing original. Wallpark, Frank's, we made those. We eat hamburgers. They had to name a whole town after hamburgers because we got hamburgers. What's next? All spaghetti from us. I mean, what's next? Hot doggy in German. Come on. Good to knock.
02:16:32
Speaker
Doesn't look good already.