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How 4 Days Can Reset a Broken Parent-Teen Relationship
32 Plays1 day ago
Are you a teen parent who feels like you’ve lost the lead in your own home? If your family is stuck in a cycle of shouting matches, shut-down rooms, and constant power struggles, it is time to move from reactivity to certain leadership.
In this episode of the Positively Healthy Mom Podcast, Laura Ollinger sits down with international family transformation coach Veenu Keller, creator of the Parent-Child Whisperer® Method for part 2 of their conversation. Veenu shares the details of her groundbreaking "In-Home Turnaround" program—an intensive, 4-day intervention that helps families reset their dynamics from the inside out.
As a parent of teen children, you know that traditional methods often fail when disconnection runs deep. Veenu explains that many families fall into "friend mode" as a way to avoid conflict, yet teenagers actually develop challenging behaviors as a survival mechanism when they don't sense a certain and secure leader in the home. This episode explores how to reclaim your role by moving out of the "friend zone" and into a position of leadership that balances firm, non-negotiable boundaries with deep emotional validation.
In this episode, we dive into:
- The 4-Day Framework: A day-by-day look at how moving a coach into your home can fast-track family healing and identify missed opportunities for connection.
- Getting to the Cause: Why yelling, talking back, and even self-harm are effects of deeper issues that require trust and emotional safety, not just coping skills.
- The Friend vs. Parent Trap: Why your teen needs a mother or father more than a best friend, and how to set non-negotiable standards of respect.
- The Power of Modeling: How to reset screen-time habits and household attitudes by becoming the powerful role model your children need to see.
Whether you are dealing with a child who has completely disconnected or a household that feels fraught, this episode provides the opportunity for self reflection that you might need to bring some unity back to your household.
Ready to transform your home?
- Learn more about Veenu Keller: www.veenuinspires.com
- Connect with Veenu Keller on Instagram: @veenuinspires
- Free Resource: Download the E-book "Teach Your Kids They Are Enough"
- Learn about Laura’s In Home Family Transformation Experience: Let’s Talk
- Connect with Laura on Instagram: @positivelyhealthycoaching
- Rate this podcast: https://ratethispodcast.com/tphmom
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Transcript
Setting Standards for Future Leaders
00:00:02
Speaker
We have to set the standard. We have to set what we want from them. You know, I tell parents, i'm we are raising the next president in the White House. could be and Could be in your house.
00:00:14
Speaker
So when we're talking about politics and what we don't like and what we do like, how are we raising our children? Mm-hmm. Because this is, that's the generation that's moving on up, right? Who do I want to be making the rules about me when I'm 80 years old enough in a, in a, in a home or something, you know? like Right, right.
00:00:32
Speaker
Like, are we raising, and that's what we, we have to pay attention to how we're raising our kids. If it's okay for them to yell at you and to say things rude to you, i promise you, you're okaying it for them to do that in public.
00:00:44
Speaker
Yeah, yeah.
Introduction to Episode and Guest
00:00:48
Speaker
Welcome back to the Positively Healthy Mom podcast. I'm your host, Laura Olinger, teen and young adult wellbeing coach. And this week, we're gonna jump right back into the second part of my conversation with Vinu Keller, creator of The Parent-Child Whisperer and longtime mentor of mine. If you didn't catch last week's episode, be sure to do that first.
00:01:09
Speaker
Now, on to part two.
Overview of In Home Turnaround Program
00:01:13
Speaker
I would love to share with the listeners a little bit more about the program that you taught me, the In Home Turnaround Program. ah We spent days and days together in North Carolina and your hometown teaching this. And I just feel like we need to get the word out there. I am so happy that I now have the ability to do this as well. And so let's talk about like what this is, because this is something that most people don't even know exists. They don't know it's an option. They're like, oh my gosh, like, I'm so glad I heard about this. So let's talk about it. Like, tell us how you came up with this concept and what you use it for.
00:01:49
Speaker
So first of all, there's only four of us that are, you know, certified to do this. Me as the owner and then the three people who've done my class. um I came up with this because somebody needed help with their daughter.
00:02:02
Speaker
um They were in a, the daughter was in a way at a boarding school for behavioral kids. And they didn't want her there, but they didn't know what else to do. They've tried hospitalizing. They've tried this. They've tried medication. and this is where nothing works. Now it's time to call one of us.
Vinu Keller’s Methodology and Approach
00:02:19
Speaker
And so when I was talking to them, I lived in North Carolina. They lived in in Georgia. And I had been going into homes because I was an infant, toddler, family specialist in the state of North Carolina. So I would go into homes. I would deal with behaviors, like big behaviors with kids on the spectrum, hitting, punching walls, stuff like that.
00:02:40
Speaker
And so I've learned how to read behaviors as communication. And I'm like, I could do this for you guys. And they're like, but you live in North Carolina. And I'm like, well, I could probably do it in four days.
00:02:52
Speaker
And they're like, great. And we talked about price. And I came home after I met the people um because we met at an event. And i was like, okay.
00:03:02
Speaker
And there was no chat GPT then. So there was nothing to help me create this idea. Right. There was nothing. And I was like, okay. Okay. I am got to figure this out.
00:03:14
Speaker
So all I knew was my ability. I knew I was great at reading behaviors. Like that is my gift that God gave me. I can look at a behavior and I could literally interpret it to what's going on with them.
00:03:27
Speaker
And I knew enough skills to redirect and reframe and get a new behavior replaced. So pattern interrupt, give a new behavior, practice, practice, practice. Now it's there. They see the result. Let's celebrate.
00:03:40
Speaker
Yeah. And it's pretty much what i what i what I teach now, right? The first thing is to become aware, aware of the behavior that they're having and be aware of what they want, what is the outcome they want.
00:03:51
Speaker
And then it's accountability. Who's taking accountability for what behavior and where it started and what we're gonna do differently. And then it's action. I'm great at taking action. And then it's acknowledging. It's acknowledging that this worked, how we're gonna keep it working and let's keep it working and celebrating yourself that you're doing it.
00:04:09
Speaker
So I was like, okay so i've created this model where day one we're just observing we have to get in there we're moving in with families and people say the nanny well the nanny had an earpiece in her and psychologists were telling her what to do so i literally just met somebody that was on the set with nanny because i was at an event and they're like so you are like the nanny and i said no I'm not going to a five-star hotel eating lobster. Well, don't eat lobster anyway, but steak and lobster and then coming back the next day and you cluing me on what happened. I'm living in your house. I'm moving in. You're going guest bedroom for me, whatever, but I'm moving in because I want to see what happens from the time they're up to the time
Program Steps and Addressing Family Issues
00:04:52
Speaker
they go to bed. I want to see the interaction with you and your your your partner
00:04:56
Speaker
And then on day two, I'm in charge. So what I have learned is that people learn by watching first before you tell them. They're visual people. They wanna see what you're doing, how you're doing it.
00:05:09
Speaker
And then on day three, they're back in charge. So I'm coaching them on, okay, remember, I asked her how she wanted to be woken up. You're not gonna wake her up the same way. Tell me how you're gonna wake her up. Okay, she told me she wants me to knock on her door and then open it, rub her back.
00:05:25
Speaker
Don't pull the blinds open. Rub her back and she's gonna get up and she needs five minutes before we check on her. So remember, that's what you're gonna do tomorrow. So they've already seen me do it.
00:05:35
Speaker
They've seen the questions I've asked. Now it's their turn to put it into practice. Now they're taking the action on it. And I'm coaching them and just reminding them. And when there's a behavior, I'm like, okay, we're not engaging. We're walking away.
00:05:47
Speaker
And when they can lower their tone, we'll we'll engage again. And remember, their room's their safe space. So we're gonna just redirect them back to their room, let them have whatever emotion, validate their emotions are exactly what they need to be having, and you'll communicate with them later.
00:06:03
Speaker
And then on day four. It's the most magical day for me because I get to step back and watch the family be able to know that they are back in leadership role. They now rule the roost, no longer the kids. There's love and connection. The parents feel back in charge. They feel like they have their family back.
00:06:24
Speaker
We've talked about a family plan where they do like family meetings, how they're going to engage, how they're going to keep this going. And now we do the coaching afterwards and we're making it sustainable.
00:06:35
Speaker
The beauty in this is it's intensive, But it's worth it. These are the 911 clients. This is not somebody that's like, oh, my kid has an attitude. We could do that over coaching. This is, there's so much disconnection.
00:06:52
Speaker
Dad's the away at work. Mom's continuing to, again, have all the leadership role. Everything's on her plate. Then dad comes home, expects a meal to be ready. Mom to look all pretty for him. And it's like, she's got her hair tied in a knot. She got sweatpants on. She's got the dog vomit on her shoe. Like what?
00:07:10
Speaker
there's a lot of expectations instead of collaboration. yeah And so that's what we do. That's what you and I do now. We we go into these homes and we change it. And it's I'm international. I have done these in Australia, in Mexico, in Canada.
00:07:27
Speaker
Like, we'll go wherever you want us to come. When you know that you want absolute change and you're ready to invest in that change, We're ready to come and support you in it.
00:07:39
Speaker
It's not a to-do for you. It's a do with me. You know, we're not we're not magic wand. yeah It's not going to change because we're there. It's going to change because you're putting the work in. This means you're taking four days off because you're investing. It's not your money you're investing. You're investing your time. We're going to show you the difference of real presence versus just being there.
00:08:02
Speaker
We don't want you just to show up. We want you to show out. Yeah. I love what you're saying because, you know, moms don't always want the job that they are assigned. And I had this call the other day, actually it a few weeks ago, and she, this lady said, can you please tell my teen daughter that the pictures she's sending over Snap or whatever are inappropriate and can you please tell her that that she can't do that and i said well thank you for calling me i love that you're asking for my input and this is amazing and you're her mom in a very nice way i said this is your job and so i said well what happens if i do teach her that and then a year goes by and she does something else that is you know kind of out of the boundaries of acceptable behavior
00:08:49
Speaker
Well, what are you going to do then? You won't have the skills. Like, it's so important for you to learn these skills. And I said, or what happens if she um gets into her 20s? And even then, like, just because a kid's an adult doesn't mean you're still not their mom. And, like, you still might need to provide something for them, some type of care. She was very concerned about this girl having a lot of reckless behavior. She was kind of just developmentally a little bit delayed. And so... yeah you know, I just imagine that she's going to be dealing this for, for a little while. So me getting on a zoom or me going into their house and say, Hey, no more inappropriate pictures. And then, Oh, I'm out of here. Good luck with that. Right? Like the mom has to learn the skill. And that's what this really is. That's why this coaching is like literally genius. I'm like, Oh my gosh, when you taught me this and I learned it and I heard about it, it's genius because the mom needs to learn the skills and, and,
00:09:38
Speaker
we weren't taught these things, right? Like, like as as moms, like, it's not just like, you just parent how you were parented generally, or a lot of times parents go in the opposite direction. And they're like, well, my parents were really strict, so I'm going to be really loosey-goosey, right? But either way, like, we don't necessarily have the skills, right? So teaching the moms these skills about how to provide a safe environment, how to communicate, how to connect with your child so that you feel heard and they feel heard.
00:10:05
Speaker
So that leads me to my next question because you described kind of these outward behaviors like loud and tantrums and not waking up. But I remember you telling us about a client who was in the dark, like literally in the dark in her room. And she was like in her look. I think you said she had like this egg because my daughter has like one of those egg chairs. and That's real cute. It's like woven. It was like this. She had this bed that had it was like more than just a canopy bed because there was like walls like it was beautiful, like made in Japan or something, you know.
00:10:36
Speaker
So it was like literally her cave. Yeah. And so you talked about her and, you know, i want the moms to hear like this isn't just the type of thing that's for like screaming and slamming doors. This is for connecting on a deep level for a child who has disconnected from the family or shut themselves out from the family for whatever reason. So like walk us through that type of scenario in case there are any moms that are in that situation.
00:10:59
Speaker
So we have to realize like when a child is sitting in the dark, what is it giving them? We have to figure out what emotion is that giving them. And this mom was like, oh,
Understanding Children's Behavior
00:11:08
Speaker
I just want her to be happy. Well, when I asked her, like, if you could have any emotion besides what you're feeling now, what would it be?
00:11:16
Speaker
And she's like, peace. said, oh, peace. Okay. That's different from happy, by the way. So the mom's wanting happy. She wants peace.
00:11:27
Speaker
And we're wondering why she's sitting in the dark. Guess what the dark gives her? Away from the loud, away from being told what to do, away from all the chaos outside that door.
00:11:39
Speaker
With the light shining out, it gives her peace. So she was finding an environment that brought her what she was trying to have. And mom said, oh, she's depressed. Oh, you're sitting in the room dark, you're depressed.
00:11:50
Speaker
You know, and here's what's great about that so situation. My daughter loves her LED lights. And she puts them on red or blue. So to me, it's very dark versus like a big yellow, bright yellow, right?
00:12:04
Speaker
And I've learned to not let that mean how she's feeling. I've asked her, you know, don't let the environment that they're sitting in determine what they're feeling because mom thought she was depressed.
00:12:19
Speaker
Mom thought she was sad. I mean, she used to cut. to mom's like, is she still doing that now? Here's why she was able to stop cutting because she had somebody like me that started to ask her questions instead of assume.
00:12:32
Speaker
I got to the cause of what was creating the cutting. And because kids don't cut because it feels good. I mean, there are some kids that have a high pain tolerance, whatever. And when you take away their stuff, all you say is I don't trust you. Guess what? They're going to cut with their fingernails because that's what I did.
00:12:47
Speaker
They'll find a way. They'll find something. They'll take a paper. They'll do paper cuts. Like, come on. Like, you can't take everything away from their room. And so it's establish trust with them.
00:12:59
Speaker
Establish a place where they can come to you and say, look, I feel like I'm getting ready to cut. Here's what's going on. You know, my clients can tell me that. I'll get text messages. And I can just intervene in that moment because they're giving me that opportunity to intervene versus being secretive about it and not letting anyone know.
00:13:17
Speaker
And they're not cutting because of that. They're cutting because there's something that's creating the pain. And that's the other thing that, you know, I've taught you in my course is cutting is an effect. Right.
00:13:30
Speaker
Staying in a dark room is an effect. Yelling and temper tantrum is an effect. talking back as an effect. So all these parents want us to cure the effect.
00:13:41
Speaker
And a lot of therapists do. A lot of coaches do. You know, I don't believe in and coping skills. The minute you say coping, you're telling your brain, you don't have control over changing it.
00:13:53
Speaker
So I'm gonna cope. I'm gonna have a coping skill with the pain I'm going through. So instead of cutting, I'm gonna have a coping skill to pull my hair harder or draw real fast or tear it paper.
00:14:06
Speaker
Well, once that gets boring, what else what are they going to do next? So instead, you and i have learned we got to get to the cause. We got to get to what's creating you wanting to cut.
00:14:18
Speaker
yeah And let's resolve the cause. Yeah. And we won't have the effect. Instead of you staying in a dark room, we're going to get to the cause of what's creating you wanting that. And we're going to give you a better scenario.
00:14:31
Speaker
And so you don't want to stay in a dark room. Instead of feeling you have to yell at your mom, we're gonna get to the cause of what's creating that. You need to be heard. So how would you know your mom's hearing you? Because you're not gonna always get a yes to be heard.
00:14:43
Speaker
You're just not. So how would you know that you're still heard, even though you're disappointed, and it's okay to be disappointed, but you can't yell at me. for parents. You don't get what you deserve. You don't deserve to be yelled at by your kid. You don't deserve to be told to shut up. You don't deserve to be cussed at by your kids.
00:15:01
Speaker
you Your kids are treating you that way because you tolerate it. Right. When you say you don't, if you don't, your kids would never do that. My child has never told me to F off.
00:15:13
Speaker
I mean, they may have behind my back or to a friend or whatever, but I'm saying to me, My child has never said that. I've never asked my child to go do the dishes or get your laundry done or go clean your room. And they say, ah no Before we finish this conversation with Vinu, I wanted to highlight my in-home family transformation experience. You can get more information on my website at positivelyhealthycoaching.com slash in-home. And if this is right for you, go ahead and click the let's talk button so we can talk.
00:15:50
Speaker
Now back to the show.
00:15:54
Speaker
I've never had my kid, when I say, i just went grocery shopping, it would really help me if you could go get the the groceries out of the car. I've never had my kid tell me, no, I'm not going to do it, you do it.
00:16:04
Speaker
And I'm being honest because these are some of the clients. this is what I hear when I'm in these houses. yeah No, I'm not doing it right now. No, you told me I didn't have to. like It's not a negotiable in my house. And why? Not because I'm not an army mom. um This is not a a military house. yeah This is a house that we have taught respect. When you say, hey, dad, can you take me to the um the trampoline park today?
00:16:31
Speaker
If you want him to say, yes, I would love to,
Long-term Parenting Effects and Challenges
00:16:34
Speaker
then what are you? we It's reciprocated. huh I mean, he's not saying no and then just walking away. He's saying, yes, let me see what I can do. I can do that for you. And guess what? So when we say, hey, can you help out with the dishwasher? Guess what we get?
00:16:48
Speaker
Yes. Let me do that for you. Because it's a reciprocated yeah thing and it's what we tolerate. it's It's what we tolerate. Because no parent, especially moms, after you give birth to that child and you give them life, do you deserve to be disrespected? And that's what gets me.
00:17:07
Speaker
That is where, as a coach, I'm teaching mamas, don't tolerate the disrespect. We've gone through way too much to bring them into life. Yeah. I'm so glad you're saying this because, you know, I didn't want anybody, not that they would have had the false impression that this is not gentle parenting. We care, yes, about their feelings. We do want to validate them. We do want to hear them.
00:17:32
Speaker
And there are also expectations. There are also boundaries. There is also these guidelines that is expected in the household. And so that's like finding that balance. And that's where it can be really challenging for a lot of families because they go really heavy on the feelings or they go really heavy on their boundaries and they have a hard time like blending these two things together and like finding the language and finding the way to like set up the family structure in advance. So so hire hire Laura or me. we'll We'll come help you with that. Exactly, exactly. i mean, that's what, you know, that's what that's what we do. that's That's the bridge, right? When we talk about what is the X factor to our coaching as a parent-child whisperer, as a licensed parent-child whisperer that you and I both are.
00:18:14
Speaker
What is our X factor to families? We are the bridge. We're the bridge that is going to form between you and your child to bring back unity and to teach you how to get your child to listen to you and teach you how to listen to your child so you don't need us anymore. These are lifelong skills we are going to install in your family. We are going to hold your hand until you got it down, and then we're going to back off.
00:18:41
Speaker
And then you got us. And then you get to use it for all the generations. And that's the beauty of what we do. This is a family coaching. It's not a kid coaching. It's not a parent coaching. It is a family unit. And that's what we're doing. We're bringing the family back to the core of what it was supposed to be.
00:18:59
Speaker
Yeah. Oh my gosh. You said that so beautifully. And um just that general rational effect, because I'm sorry to call you out, but you are a grandma. I am. um And so that's what happens is, right? Like teaching your, you're really teaching your kids to be parents as well. The way you're parenting, that's going to trickle down. and so And I've seen it, by the way, like I've seen it and yeah and it breaks my heart.
00:19:23
Speaker
It does. Like, and I see it like, that's the effect. But now I can't wait to see my twins and even my other older son when they have children, because my 27-year-old has had a lot more of this mom, right? And so, and the twins have definitely had this mom. And so it's like, okay,
00:19:42
Speaker
There has to be dialogue in this house. It is not a one-way conversation. It is not, you're going to do what I said and then let your child talk back to you and then go spank them on the butt. Like, first of all, I never spanked, so I just want to say that to your audience. But yeah there are parents that still spank them. Like, oh, they need a spanking because the parents tell them, you should be spanking your kids. Don't let them talk to you that way.
00:20:04
Speaker
Installing fear does not equal respect. yeah modeling and teaching respect will get respect out of your child. Again, boundaries make kids feel safe. I think right now we're in a dilemma where parents think I have to get them to like me in order for them to talk to me.
00:20:24
Speaker
And so they become a friend and not a parent. And then when it's time for boundaries, like, hey, I noticed you have three assignments not turned in. So you're not going to the football game tonight. What do you mean I'm not going to the football game tonight? You already told me I could, and I already have friends coming. Well,
00:20:40
Speaker
You need to let them know that until you get the work turned in, you can't go. Because as a parent, you got to have something somewhere. Yeah. And you can't reward the behavior of not turning in your work and then go have fun at the football game.
00:20:54
Speaker
Now all a sudden, now there's a battle. Now I'm getting a call, a 911 text going, he's yelling at me. Everything you said is out there. No, no, no, no. Were you still being, were you in friends mode or parent mode? Because they can't tell the difference. Your kids have plenty of opportunity to make friends.
00:21:12
Speaker
They're never going to get another mom like you. Be a mom. Choose to be a mom. I'm telling you
Responsible Technology Use and Standards
00:21:19
Speaker
it's worth it. My 27-year-old and i have a beautiful relationship because I was mom.
00:21:25
Speaker
And now, now I could be more of a friend and understanding because we've gone through the boot camp. He's out of the house. He lives in his own house. I can be that confidant for him because there's no more, oh, this is a learning lesson from mom. This is a learning lesson from life. And mom's going to support me through it now. Yeah. Yeah. I love it. There's one last thing I want to throw in here, even though it's maybe implied, but I want to be really clear.
00:21:53
Speaker
Technology, right? As you were talking earlier, and I can't remember which example you were using, I just know how many moms cave because it's like technology time is up, but the kid's like, eh, I still want more, right? Like, oh my gosh, I F with my own clients, I hear this a lot, especially the younger ones, like the high schoolers, not as much, but more like the middle schoolers. Like I hear this like battle and and moms just give up. So give us like a little treat, like some ideas, right? How can you support moms when they're like in this battle? They're like, well, i want them to have fun. They're relaxing. They're decompressing, but, um, or I'm busy and I can't hang out with them. So that's what they do. and there's nothing else to do, right? Like give us some thoughts about that.
00:22:37
Speaker
So one of the things that I have learned, and I'm probably not the best on this, first thing comes is safety. Like, do you know what your kids are watching, who they're influenced by? Like my kids are 13, almost 14. They do not have social media.
00:22:50
Speaker
They're allowed to watch YouTube, but they do not have a YouTube account. But I also know that there's no kids where we live at their age. The only socialization they get is being on the phone with their friends and playing video games. And, but I'm listening to the dialogue. Is there dialogue? You know, um when it gets too loud, I'm like, okay, you're training your brain to be loud.
00:23:12
Speaker
That means that you got to come off of it a long time. If we get an attitude out of that, we're like, okay, we will go two or three days without it, like to kind of reset. So that's what we do. We do reset. Like, you know, when we can tell their behavior and whatnot,
00:23:28
Speaker
That, okay, it's time that we take a take a reset, you know? um But here's when I take away phones is if it's a distraction. So I'll give you a great example. Yesterday, we were getting to school and my daughter's like, oh, I forgot one of my binders at home. And I said, oh, but you had 15 minutes on your phone today. So I need your phone.
00:23:45
Speaker
And she's like, well, for how long? And I'm like, until I can see that it's no longer a distraction for you. Right. And so this morning she came to me, she goes, I have all my stuff. um I've already had dad sign this, everything, at my binder. I got my water bottle. I got my lunch.
00:23:59
Speaker
And I'm like, okay. I'm like, well, now you can have your phone back. So the phone is not a punishment. It's their brain cannot distinguish what's a distraction, what's not, because it's just what's there and it's what kids are doing.
00:24:11
Speaker
So I have, you know, I make the crime fit the time. Just like if it was the TV. If it was the TV that was on that was distracting her, she would not have TV this morning because I need to make sure that she's all ready for school. Yeah. You know? And generally, our kids only have the phone for, like, the 15-minute ride. And by the way, I bring my Chatter Matters, which is my card game that I have, in the car with me. So when they...
00:24:36
Speaker
When I'm driving and I'm taking them to school, instead of being on their screens, I'm like, pick a card. And we just go over the questions, which, by the way, it's turning into an app. It should be an app by next month. Yeah.
00:24:46
Speaker
Awesome. Awesome. Okay. um We're getting close to the end, but there there was one thing you said recently. You and I were talking. i think we were in our parent-child whisperer conversation. And you said, my child my children are not allowed to walk with their phones. Yeah. And it's funny because guess what? I caught myself walking with my phone in the grocery store parking lot. And I was like, whoa, I got to rein it in with what Vinu said. Like, if you're going to have something that's urgent on your phone and you're the mom, like, that's a great time to set an example. Like, be the role model. But, oh, guys, I have something really urgent. This is related to my work. I just need to pause for a minute. I need to respond to this text. And then we can keep walking. But, like, walking through a parking lot, can you imagine, like, You know, me being and being oblivious and not seeing the car and right like it's like or worse being abducted because that's happening. Unfortunately, we got to talk about
Raising Future Leaders
00:25:39
Speaker
that.
00:25:39
Speaker
yeah And even on your phone, like I've gotten so better not being on my phone in my car because in three years they're going to be driving. And I want to set that for them. Like yeah you, there's too many distractions already. You have to be present.
00:25:54
Speaker
And so like if I am doing a text, I wait till I'm at a stop sign. I wait till I'm at a red light, especially if it's something that I have to get out, you know, right away.
00:26:05
Speaker
Sometimes I pulled over to a parking lot because I had to get a text out. My kid's like, what are you doing? I'm like, I got to get this text out. I i need to pull over for a second. So we have to set the standard. We have to set what we want from them. You know, I tell parents, i'm we are raising the next president in the White House.
00:26:23
Speaker
could be and Could be in your house. So when we're talking about politics and what we don't like and what we do like, how are we raising our children?
Self-awareness and Parenting Improvement
00:26:30
Speaker
Mm-hmm. Because this is that's the generation that's moving on up, right? Who do I want to be making the rules about me when I'm 80 years old in ah in a in a home or something, you know? like Right, right. Like, are we raising? And that's what we we have to pay attention to, how we're raising our kids. If it's okay for them to yell at you and to say things rude to you, i promise you, you're okaying it for them to do that in public.
00:26:55
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I think this whole entire conversation is, I'm hoping, just coming across as like maybe a wake-up call for some, especially the last part of the conversation. Just like, oh, wait, I do do that. Oh, wait, I do do that too. Oh, wait, I do that too. Right? like Because we all do. Like, we're owning it.
00:27:12
Speaker
We all do. Right. and And we're human and we make mistakes. And but just kind of like that first step is always like self-awareness, like, oh, OK, now I can work on that because I realize that's something I've been doing and I haven't really been paying attention to it until now. And so. And if you know better, you do better.
00:27:28
Speaker
That's literally what, you know, this conversation, this whole, your topic of this today's call is if you know better, you do better. Right, right, right. So yeah, in fact, well, we could go on forever, I'm sure, but we'll leave it at that. We'll leave it
Closing Remarks and Next Episode
00:27:41
Speaker
at that. And this has been beautiful. Vinu, thank you so much for taking the time. I'm so glad that we got to have you on here, all your genius and your ideas and your thoughts. And for sure, people, um how can people find you?
00:27:53
Speaker
So i'm very easy. Venu Inspires, V-E-E-N-U, Inspires is my whole social media. And if you go to my venuinspires.com, you'll find more information about the services I offer. There's a free um ebook that's teach your kids that they're enough because we're working on self-worth. And um if you want to be a Parent Child Whisperer like Laura and myself, come join my course. We're getting ready to start another one in March.
00:28:20
Speaker
Amazing. Amazing. I love it. Thank you for your time. Thank you.
00:28:28
Speaker
When you get a chance, please go to the show notes and click on the link ratethispodcast.com slash tphmom to give my podcast a rating and review.
00:28:39
Speaker
And if this episode resonates with you, be sure to share it with your mom friends who are going through the same things. Be sure to tune in for next week's conversation. Until then, keep up the good work.