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Ashley Naglak - Nora's Mom
129 Plays1 year ago
This episode we sat down with mom Ashley Kreyskop-Naglak from Levittown Pennsylvania. She lives there with her husband Blake and their furry friends.
Ashley and her husband Blake learned they were pregnant with their daughter Nora in January of 2023. The pregnancy was uncomplicated until about 26 weeks when Ashley started to experience rib pain. After going to the hospital, being treated and discharged, then readmitted, she learned that she was in liver failure, HELLP syndrome, and needs to be delivered emergently. Nora was born on June 3rd, 2023.
She did very well in the NICU until day 7 when things started to take an unexpected turn. An x-ray revealed that Nora had a hole in her bowel as a result of Necrotizing enterocolitis (NEC). Nora passed away later that day.
Ashley, thank you for sharing your story of the life and legacy of Nora <3
You can learn more about the NEC Foundation here!
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Transcript
Introduction to Blindsided Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
Hi, I'm Nicole and I'm Desiree. We are both mothers who run a support group for perinatal loss. Through our group, we have met many wonderful families and have had the honor of hearing about and sometimes meeting their beautiful babies. We noticed that families feel relief when they can share openly and feel seen when they meet others who are telling similar stories. So we created this podcast as a space for families to share the stories of their babies.
00:00:23
Speaker
We want to honor and remember these children. We want to help you navigate your life after loss. And most importantly, we want each story to give you hope. So please join us as we share these stories of grief and love. Welcome to the Blindsided Podcast. Welcome to the Blindsided Podcast. We're your hosts, Nicole and Desiree.
Nora's Story Begins
00:00:50
Speaker
Hello. Today we are here with Ashley, a lost mom from Levittown, Pennsylvania. She's going to share the story of her daughter Nora with us. Hi, nice to be here with you guys. Thanks for coming on and sharing your story. Yeah, I'm excited to talk to you. So can you just tell everyone a little bit about yourself? Sure. So I'm Ashley. I'm 30. I'm an early intervention service coordinator. So I just write IEPs for preschoolers.
00:01:21
Speaker
My husband and I have been married for a little over two years now, and we have three dogs, three cats, and a bunch of cows and horses, so big animal love. You do?
00:01:33
Speaker
Yeah, my in-laws have like a family farm and my husband keeps his cows and horses there. We need like a therapy day at her house. I saw your dogs on Instagram because she told me your Instagram name today. And what kind of dogs? There's like the two or unless they're all three, the same kind of dogs.
00:01:53
Speaker
So we had two St. Bernard's, we just ended up putting one down and we also have a border collie tip. Well I'm sorry. Thanks, yeah. How old was the one that you put down? She'd be four on Friday. Did she have like a heart problem? My cousin had one and he won't get one again for that reason because of the... No, she ended up having a tumor in her spine so it like was controlling both of her back legs and
00:02:15
Speaker
They gave us like eight weeks when we found out and she made it the full eight weeks. And then one day she kind of just couldn't, like she had no feeling at all in her back end. So we ended up putting her down. Oh wow. Just a puppy too. Yeah. Oh my God. I'm sorry. Can you tell us about your pregnancy journey with Nora? Sure. So, um, it was November of 2022.
00:02:37
Speaker
And I just got off birth control. I wanted to start tracking my ovulation. We were still house hunting, so I was not ready to have a baby yet. And then it was New Year's Day and I kept telling my husband, I was like, I feel weird. Something's not right. And I was having like the same kind of symptoms that you would have when you come off birth control. I gained a little bit of weight. My boobs were ginormous. I was an emotional wreck all the time.
00:03:04
Speaker
And he's like, you're pregnant, you're pregnant. I was like, there is no way. So I went upstairs to take a test to prove him wrong. And I just remember screaming, telling him to come upstairs right now because he was right.
00:03:15
Speaker
Oh my gosh. So it was really out of the blue, unexpected. And then luckily a month later, we ended up buying a house. So it kind of worked out that way. Oh, wow. Yeah. Had you gone off of birth control and you just weren't trying or? So I got off birth control just kind of because I wanted to start trying eventually. So I wanted to get it out of my system, start tracking my ovulation. And then it was kind of just like I was tracking my ovulation. It kept saying sad face on the test. You know, it was like, okay, we're good. Like I'm not ovulating.
00:03:45
Speaker
And it lied because I was pregnant. Wow. Can you tell us about the pregnancy?
Pregnancy Complications
00:03:52
Speaker
Yeah, so I had a completely normal pregnancy. Nothing out of the ordinary. Had my 20 week ultrasound. Everything looked good. The growth was good. I went to my OB probably around 25 weeks just for my normal check-in. Did my blood pressure. Everything was good.
00:04:10
Speaker
And then not even a week later, I ended up getting some like weird rib pain and didn't really think anything of it. It was Memorial Day weekend and I was eating a lot of junk food. So everyone kept telling me it was heartburn. And I was like, okay, I'm good.
00:04:25
Speaker
And then I think it was two days later I was at the gym and I got the pain again and it just kept coming back more intense. And a good friend of mine, she's a labor and delivery nurse. I texted her and she's like, you know, just kind of go to the ER just to be safe. Like you are already 26 weeks pregnant. You don't want to mess anything up.
00:04:45
Speaker
And so I ended up going and then they took my blood pressure, which was like through the roof out of nowhere. And they're like, we're going to admit you. And then they did some blood tests and found out my liver enzymes like skyrocketed through the roof. So they admitted me and they're like, we pretty sure you're on the verge of preeclampsia, but they didn't want to completely diagnose me yet. And then I think it was I was there for three or four days and my liver enzymes started going down.
00:05:15
Speaker
Um, my blood pressure started going down. They're like, okay, like you don't have pre clamps here. We're not really sure what this is. So I ended up going home. Um, once again, I went home and ate junk food from stress. I remember I had a big cheesesteak that night. It's all I wanted. And then the rib pain came back like 12 hours later to the point I was getting sick in the bathroom. I was trying to convince myself it was heartburn. My husband was like, you need to go back to the ER. Yeah.
00:05:41
Speaker
I was like, I had a really big cheesesteak. Like, it's probably bad. All the hospital food I ate for the last three days. And then he convinced me to go back to the ER. So I went and they basically told me I was in liver failure at that point. So I had to get an emergency C-section. Yeah, it was very, very scary. Did you have other symptoms besides the pain? I had nothing. I wasn't swollen. Like I said, I went to the OB the week before. Nothing was wrong.
00:06:11
Speaker
And then they ended up doing an ultrasound when I was there, and they noticed that she had growth restriction, even though a few weeks before that, they told me she was absolutely fine at my ultrasound. So it was all kind of out of nowhere. And I'm a big workout freak too, so my weight wasn't gaining too much. I was kind of on track with everything. So it was definitely out of nowhere.
00:06:32
Speaker
So were you in help syndrome? They ended up diagnosing me with help syndrome after I delivered. My platelets went down the day after and I ended up with two liver lesions. So I think 24 hours after I had her, they officially diagnosed me with help.
00:06:51
Speaker
Okay, so were you texting your friend who was a labor and delivery? I'm not going to believe this, like, the whole time. And luckily, one of her good friends was a nurse at the hospital I was at. So she was in checking on me all the time, because I was just like a mess. And I just remember coming from the gym and I'm like, please don't put a catheter in me. I haven't showered like I'm disgusting. Please. No one touched me. I was so embarrassed. That's the least of your worries right now.
00:07:19
Speaker
Yeah, I want you to live. Pretty much. Oh, my gosh. It's funny we can laugh about that. So serious. Yeah. So what was her birthday to start with? What day did you deliver? June 3rd, 2023. And I was due September 3rd. So I had her three months early. Okay. And it hasn't even been a year then for you. No, not yet. Okay. So after you, you know, they took you in, they did the c-section. And then can you go from there with her story?
Nora's NICU Journey
00:07:49
Speaker
Yeah, so right before the C-section, they had like four or five different doctors running in and out. Doctors from the NICU came in to talk to me and kind of explain to me what the process was going to be. They let me know that she had a 95% chance of survival, not to really worry too much. They told me to expect her to be in the NICU until her due date, so like three months. So we were kind of prepared for that.
00:08:16
Speaker
They told me they had like eight different doctors on a rotation there. I got to meet a few of them before. They had all these great nurses. And then. Can I just ask you before? Yeah. Did they give you, um, what is it for the lung, like the lung development? Yeah, they did give me the shot. Yeah. And I was on a magnesium drip too, which was God awful. Okay. I've heard that. Yeah. Sorry. Go ahead now. No, you're fine. You met all the doctors. Yeah.
00:08:45
Speaker
prepared me as much as you could be prepared. I just I was like in such shock I didn't I was just like mm-hmm yep okay I was kind of like yep you do your thing I'm just gonna lay here like I don't there's nothing else I can do so and then she came out and luckily she came out like kicking and screaming and crying which they said was
00:09:05
Speaker
not usual for a 26-week-old baby. So she actually got to stay attached to the placenta for a lot longer than normal, which was good for her. Yeah, like my husband got to go over. He met her, took pictures. She was in the room for like four or five minutes with us. I was actually just talking to him before this. I was like, I don't remember any of them. Because right after they take her out, they pump you with all the good drugs that they can. And then they took her right to the NICU after that.
00:09:34
Speaker
Wow. Wow. So how long did you have to stay in the hospital after your section? I was in there for I think it was four nights and I after two nights I finally got to meet her I couldn't get out of bed I couldn't move my liver was extremely swollen the next day so I couldn't move out of bed at all so my husband was just like sending me videos of her and pictures of her which was
00:09:58
Speaker
It felt so unreal. I was like, that's not mine. That's not my baby. Like I didn't have a baby. It was just very strange to like have her. And then I'm like, okay, well, she's not here. I had to wait so long to just to see her. And then I met her and she was in a box. Like we called it her tanning bed. It's crazy that, you know, you were in liver failure and were discharged in four nights. Like that's insane to me, but that's great.
00:10:24
Speaker
Yeah, so then how long was she in the NICU before she started to get sick or start things started to take a turn? So they told me to expect the first three days to be good like a honeymoon phase And then they said around day four or five expects, you know some complications She's finally gonna realize that she's not in the womb anymore. Her body might react a little weird and
00:10:48
Speaker
So we got through day four and five and they actually weaned her down on the ventilator. She was doing amazing. And then day seven, I believe it was, it was a Saturday. So my husband was working during the days. We were trying to save most of our PTO for when she was coming home from the NICU. So he would work during the day. I worked from home.
00:11:11
Speaker
So my mom would pick me up. I'd go and visit her for a few hours, come home. My husband would come home. We'd go back and visit her again. And then it was Saturday. So it was finally one full day where me and him could spend the whole day there together. They called me early Saturday morning. They're like, Hey, we think she has some sort of infection. Do you mind if we start antibiotics?
00:11:33
Speaker
steroids and we're like no absolutely we're actually on our way over anyway we get there and I just remember walking into the NICU and looking at her and looking at my husband and I'm like
00:11:43
Speaker
why does she look like that? She just almost looked like dead already. Like there was no life in her face. There was just nothing there. The NICU actually nicknamed her spicy because she was like kicking and screaming the whole time she was there. She kept taking the tube out of her nose. So just kind of seeing her laying there like lifeless was, I just knew something was wrong. And they told me, you know, we have to wait till 1230. She's going to get an X-ray and they'll all kind of go from there.
00:12:12
Speaker
1230 came and my husband and I went downstairs for lunch I just I don't like watching them like poke and prod her and watching it just says she's so little it was I didn't it was horrifying watching them do their job basically Yeah, so we went down for lunch came up about 20 minutes later the doctor said to me we did it um I
00:12:34
Speaker
We did an x-ray and we saw that there is a hole in her bowel. So they called the nearest hospital that has the higher level NICU. They said that they're on their way. We're going to transport her. She's probably going to need surgery. They should be here soon. So we're kind of just sitting there waiting.
00:12:54
Speaker
And then I think it was like 45 minutes later, my husband of course went to the bathroom and I'm sitting there and I'm watching her and I'm just watching the monitor and the heart rate just is going down, going down, going down. And I'm like texting my husband like, get out here right now. Like something's not right. And all of a sudden there's like eight doctors in the room.
00:13:13
Speaker
Oh my God. And her heart eventually stopped. They got it back and they said, you know, we got it back. We're not sure how much time it's going to be here. We're still waiting for the ambulance. So my husband and I are kind of just like pacing up and down the room, not really knowing what to do.
00:13:30
Speaker
And then maybe another half hour goes by and the heart rate starts dropping again. And it's dropping and it's dropping. And the doctor comes out and this is when I found out that they didn't do surgery there. I had no idea. She comes out and she's like, I've never done surgery before. I'd like to put an incision in her side just to kind of relieve some of the pressure because that's what's making her heart stop.
00:13:56
Speaker
a part of her bowel was dying. So that's what was coming and that was what's making the pressure which was causing her heart to stop. I said, do whatever you got to do. Like, yeah, in your hands, like you got to take care of this.
00:14:09
Speaker
So she did that. Heart rate started going back up. She was fine. We're still waiting for the ambulance. I think we're like two hours in now. And eventually she just comes down to the hallway and she's like, you should probably come in. She's going to pass. So we went in. Luckily at this time, my mom finally showed up. My husband's parents showed up. So everyone was kind of there. And then I just, they let me hold her for the first time. And then I think it was a few minutes later, she eventually passed.
00:14:38
Speaker
while still connected to all of the equipment and everything. Her little body just couldn't. Yeah, it was too much pressure on her heart. Yeah. After she passed away, did you spend time with her? Did your family get to hold her?
00:14:52
Speaker
So my mom and my mother-in-law were the only two family members. I got to meet her. We were only allowed to bring one other person each into the NICU, and it had to be the same person. Even after she passed? After she passed, they let the whole world come into the NICU, which I don't.
00:15:09
Speaker
So and then they asked us if we wanted to go to a separate room. I was kind of just like staring off in the space. My husband said I went like ghost and basically it just she wasn't her anymore. Like looking down at her, they put her in a warm blanket, which they shouldn't have done. I should have got like a cooling cup, which I regret not knowing about things like that.
00:15:29
Speaker
Yeah, so she kind of just like she didn't look herself so I couldn't even look down at her It just was heartbreaking it so they put us into this room and ended up being an Adeline Rose room and I wish they would have told me like you can take the things off the car You can I had no idea. I just kind of was sitting there holding her. I'm like, I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing I don't know why I'm here like what is going on and
00:15:55
Speaker
There was no like communication like this is what this is here for. Which kind of like sucks looking back on it because I would have loved to take things from the car and things like that.
00:16:07
Speaker
Can you explain what the cart is that you're talking about? Yeah, so it's a remembrance cart. It's for families that has stillbirths or infants that pass too soon. It has different kind of grieving books on it. It has children's books. There's little bears on there that you can take home, things that you can take pictures with your child so you have memories. And I had no idea. It was just kind of sitting there. And I'm like, what is that? OK.
00:16:33
Speaker
I mean, it's a great idea. Yeah. I just wish they kind of told me what it was. So then at one point, I just remember looking at my mom and I'm like, can you just go get the nurse? I just couldn't hold her anymore. It just wasn't her. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I hear that a lot from families.
00:16:51
Speaker
Yeah, especially like seeing her so lively for the whole first week and then just looking at her and there was there was nothing there. I'm like, I can't like I don't want to remember her like this. Yeah, it's a lot of NICU families because when they're born, they just look like I saw her pictures on your Instagram, she looked perfect.
00:17:08
Speaker
Yeah, perfect. She like her skin wasn't even like super true. She just looked like a little teeny tiny like doll baby. She was extra long. Was she? How long was she? Oh my God. I think she must have been almost 14 inches. My husband's my husband's six six. Oh my gosh. Wow. Yeah.
00:17:25
Speaker
Yeah, that's definitely long for. Yeah. What question should a first time NICU parent ask the doctors and care team when your child's
Advice for NICU Parents
00:17:34
Speaker
a minute? Definitely ask what level NICU it is. I had no idea there were levels to NICUs. I just kind of thought a NICU is a NICU. You can help me take care of my premature baby. Some NICUs only can handle certain weeks. I think it's like 30 and above for a level two.
00:17:53
Speaker
Level three is better. They still don't do surgery, which is what I found out. And then level four is like the best care you can get. They can do any kind of surgery that's possible. And looking back now, I wish they would have told me because I would have had her transported right away to a level four, being so tiny. I mean, she was only 26 weeks and five days, six days.
00:18:13
Speaker
Yeah. So my next question is, how have you integrated your grief into your life and your work? I wanted to ask you that, but also when you're talking about this, I feel like you could help so many families, like we said, like first time NICU parents, but also families that are higher risk just explaining to them like, or if you know someone that had a baby that is at a level three or level two with a 26 week or 25 week or like tell them like transfer, you know what I mean?
00:18:41
Speaker
Yeah, I've been screaming at the top of my lungs to anyone I know. I'm pregnant. Just so you know, if anything happens, make sure you ask. That's something you think about asking. They're telling you, you're going to be fine. We have a great NICU. You trust them. They're your doctors. This is your baby. You're like, okay, you're telling me this is the best thing I can do. I'm going to do it. Right. Yeah.
00:19:07
Speaker
So have you done anything to integrate your grief into your work now or your life?
Coping with Grief
00:19:13
Speaker
Yeah, we definitely were actually hosting a fundraiser for Nora's first birthday coming up in June. I think for me, it's been super hard. I wasn't such PTSD the first three months. I wasn't grieving at all. I was fine. I was going out. I was acting like nothing happened.
00:19:33
Speaker
I didn't want to believe it was real and it didn't really hit me until her due date. We went to the grave to visit her and my husband and I were just kind of sitting there and I was like, wow, either way, I should have had a baby, whether it was coming home from the NICU because it was three months later.
00:19:49
Speaker
or going full term and having a baby. And that's when I really started to go through it, which was rough. But at least by then I had the resources. I had the support groups already. I had the different foundations to look to, which made it a lot easier. And so I kind of just put myself in a support group finally, because I kept throwing it off. I was like, I don't need it. I don't need it. I'm fine. I'm fine. And finally I said, no, I need this. I need to talk to people.
00:20:17
Speaker
There's a lot of people that say that, like, they're hesitant to go to a support group. They always tell us after, like, the first meeting, like, I should have done this months ago. Yes. So you agree with that. Like, you would tell someone. Oh, yeah. I am one of my first support group meetings. I was three or four months out and I'll never forget there was a girl there. She was maybe a week out and she was there. And I was like, I give you kudos for being here. I was like, because I was pretending like nothing happened and
00:20:45
Speaker
I don't know how you're here, but I'm glad you are because you're going to be a lot further along than we are who waited a few months to get there.
00:20:52
Speaker
Yeah. What organizations are you fundraising for with the fundraiser in June and when is it? So it's June 2nd. We are fundraising for the NEX Society, which is what Nora ultimately passed away from. And then we're also hopefully going to donate a remembrance cart from Adeline Rose. And then from my support groups, I'm going to be donating to Noelle's Light and Aubrey's Advocate.
00:21:19
Speaker
That's awesome. We know them. They're great. They are. I actually think Julie from Aubrey's Advocate is coming to Nora's fundraiser. Oh, good. Awesome. Where's your fundraiser at? It's in Triple Sun in Newtown. What is Triple Sun?
00:21:34
Speaker
It's a distillery. Oh, maybe we'll be there too then. So after you lost Mora and you went home, my question is, and it's not on the sheet, is how was your husband? Like, do you feel like you were grieving similarly that you guys were both kind of acting like you were okay or was he more upset in the beginning?
00:21:57
Speaker
it was definitely complete opposites i didn't want anyone at the house at first i just wanted to do our own thing i wanted to be alone and he wanted to tell you know the person pumping your gas what happened everyone everything that happened it was very hard because you know everyone came to the house right after and i was like i just kind of want to be alone and
00:22:19
Speaker
everyone's bombarding you like, what do you need? I'm like, I don't know what I need. Like, please just leave me alone. And my husband just kind of wanted to talk about it all the time to anyone who would listen. So navigating that was difficult at first, but then we kind of realized like, you're doing this this way. I'm doing this this way. We kind of need to help each other. So you know, I would let him if he wanted his friends over the one night fine, but then the next night I'm like, we need to be alone. We kind of just needed to compromise on things like that.
00:22:48
Speaker
I think it was definitely harder on him at first because he not only had to deal with Nora being in the NICU and passing but they thought at one point I was doing worse than Nora so having to go through my life might not make it either and I might be stuck with this baby who's in the NICU was hard on him. He sounds like a very gentle soul, like a very empathetic
00:23:11
Speaker
He is. You wouldn't know looking at him. He's like 6'6", 240 pounds. He's a steer wrestler, but he's a bit salty. What? A steer wrestler? Oh, he grabs it. Can you grab him and flip him over? Yeah. Yeah, don't mess with this guy.
00:23:27
Speaker
I like this question. Was there anyone who showed up for you in your grief journey that you weren't expecting? There was some of my good friends from high school or college years that I ended up having a falling out with just kind of grew apart from that ended up coming back into my life.
00:23:43
Speaker
and continuously checked on me more than some of my close friends, which was very strange but very comforting at the same time. Isn't that crazy? Yeah, it's wild. People that I would never think reached out reached out to me more than anyone else. Yeah, it's crazy. It is. What would you tell someone if they had a friend or a family member that experienced a loss of their baby? What would you tell them they could do for for that
Supporting Grieving Families
00:24:10
Speaker
person?
00:24:10
Speaker
Just give them space. I was just so bombarded at first and I didn't know how to tell people no, which was very hard, just learning to say no and being able to take no as someone, as a family member. My mom was very, very pushy at first and I just had to learn how to be like, I need space.
00:24:30
Speaker
and she had to learn to accept that. I mean, I can't imagine how hard it was for her seeing me go through it, but at the same time I had to keep reminding her, I'm going through this. I need to do this on my own time. So just being able to say no and then being able to take no as an answer.
00:24:46
Speaker
Yes, it's hard for the grandparents because they're grieving for you and then they're grieving for their grandchild. I can't imagine. Yeah, I had her first daughter and this was the first grandchild, so it was a lot. Had you already had like a baby shower or anything or no because you were only... I was actually supposed to have my baby shower I think the week after the funeral, so like two or three weeks after I had her. Right after I had her, we still planned on having the baby shower. I still told people like,
00:25:15
Speaker
I'm still gonna have a baby shower. She's still here. But then the baby shower ended up turning into my 30th birthday party. My mom kind of just changed it over because I was like, I didn't want to spend the day sad. Yeah, kind of just went to dinner, did the baby shower just turns it into a birthday party. But you had already registered and everything. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Still have everything set up to it's crazy. I haven't touched anything. Yeah, I wouldn't. Yeah, I can always take a screenshot before you if you ever delete it. First.
00:25:45
Speaker
What advice would you give to someone who is just finding out or going through this loss right now? Just be patient with yourself and you just know it's never going to go away, but it will get easier. I know it's hard to say that if you're just going through it, but there's days where it's easier and there's days where it's harder. It will always be with you and people will tell you, at least this or get over this and just tell them to shut up. Don't be afraid to tell them to shut up.
00:26:14
Speaker
You're funny. I've had people, you know, tell me, you know, at least you know you can get pregnant. I'm like, that's great. But what's that going to do? Exactly. Yeah. So I know you're going to do the fundraiser.
Honoring Nora's Memory
00:26:25
Speaker
Is that in honor of her birth, her first birthday? Yes. Yep. It's the day before her birthday. Okay. And ask if you were going to plan on celebrating it. Yeah, we're actually I'm hoping to the day on her actual birthday.
00:26:37
Speaker
I want to take our boat out and do the Chinese lanterns at night on her birthday and kind of start that tradition. They're really pretty and that's a good idea to take the boat out. Yeah. Where do you take your boat out to? Just on the Delaware River. Nice. That's going to be beautiful. Yeah. We decorate her grave every holiday, so we'll decorate it for her birthday. Share that picture with us for the blog of her grave decorated.
00:27:03
Speaker
She buried with my great-grandmom. That was a big thing. We didn't know where to put her. It was very strange looking at cemetery plots when we're 30. If you buy two, you get the third for free. I'm like, okay. They do really try to push it though. They try to push the family plots. My daughter is buried with her great-grandmom too, and that's who she's named after.
00:27:28
Speaker
Or my great-grandmom. It's her great-grandmom. Yeah, it's my great-grandmom and her great-great-grandmom again. Yeah. Aww. Do they just dig because she's the tiny little thing? Do they dig on top of? Yeah, as long as I think they have to be six foot down so that the baby casket can be three foot down. It doesn't have to get far down.
00:27:48
Speaker
That's what I thought. Okay. Yeah. It's very strange. I know. It's weird things to think about. Yeah. They took me, I'll never forget. We went to the cemetery and trying to figure out like, do we just get her a plot? Do we get us plots? Um, my mom was like, well, I'll buy a plot and we can put her there. And my stepdad's mom was like, well, my husband's buried there. Just give her my plot. I'm like, this is insane. Did you end up buying plots that were next to it or no?
00:28:18
Speaker
No, we just put her with my great-grandmom. You know, we're not sure if we're going to move one day or what will happen. So we didn't. And then my husband, you know, he was like, it's bad juju. We can't buy our own plots right now. And I was like, okay. Yeah, yeah. So we put her with my great-grandmom. Yeah, I really I think that's really sweet.
00:28:37
Speaker
Yeah, my great-grandma basically raised me, too. I mean, my mom had me super young, so I was always with my grandparents, my great-grandparents. So it was kind of nice putting her there. Yeah, that's sweet. Is there anything else that you wanted to say that we did not ask you? Oh, I think there was a question like, what did someone do for you? Oh, let me ask. Hold on. What is the one kindest thing you remember someone doing for you as a newly grieving mom? So it was very unexpected. I got an Amazon package.
00:29:06
Speaker
think a week or so after Nora passed and I opened it and it was just a box of toilet paper. I said to my husband, I was like, did you order toilet paper on Amazon? He's like, no. And at the bottom, there was a note from a good friend of mine, her husband had passed unexpectedly, I think, seven or eight years ago now.
00:29:25
Speaker
And it just said, sorry for your shitty time. And she told me, she's like, someone did this for me when my husband passed. And she's like, it was the best thing ever because you don't think to buy necessities when you're going through this. And then I think a month later, another box showed up with more toilet paper.
00:29:44
Speaker
It was just something that you don't think of. I'm like, this is great. Now I have all this toilet paper. Yeah, don't have to go to the store. And it's hilarious. That is so funny. I thought it was so sweet. I was like, it makes sense. Oh my god. That's definitely not what I thought you were going to say. I was just waiting for something else. No, it just sticks out in my head. I always remember. Anytime someone I know passes or someone of someone I know passes and like, oh, should we send flowers? I'm like, no, we're sending toilet paper.
00:30:13
Speaker
I think that's what we're sending from now on. Ashley, thank you so much for being here and sharing the story of Nora with us. If you would like to send some love to Ashley, email us at storyteller at the blindsided.com. If you like what you're listening to, don't forget to rate our podcast on Apple and Spotify so we can continue to reach people who need to hear this. You could also follow us on Instagram and Facebook at the Blindsided podcast.
00:30:39
Speaker
Also, if you're local to South Jersey, we host an in-person support group monthly. Details are on our website at theblindsided.com. Thank you for listening and we'll see you next episode. Thank you so much for tuning into the latest episode of the Blindsided Podcast. We truly appreciate your support and time you spent with us. If you have a personal story you'd like to share on the show, don't hesitate to reach out to us. You can send us an email at nicolewiththeblindsided.com or desiré at theblindsided.com.
00:31:08
Speaker
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00:31:26
Speaker
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