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Feminine and Masculine Energy - Do We Need to Change the Labels?
153 Plays1 year ago
On this episode, Eleanor and LD explain what femininity and masculinity mean to them and how their relationship with their own duality has developed over the years. Eleanor reflects on what it's like to be a feminine person in a male-dominated industry, and LD is optimistic about everyone finding their balance, with men more comfortable with the feminine aspects of themselves, and women more empowered with the language to know what aspects of their masculinity do and don't feel good.
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Transcript
Introduction: Energy and Clothing
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome to Pretty Invested, presented by your favorite ex-finance bros. We talk about the money things you actually care about. LD, how are you? I'm doing well. How are you? Good. I'm excited. We're talking about masculine and feminine energy. And for me, I feel like feminine energy is also very light and bright. And I wore neutral, light colors today to kind of
00:00:30
Speaker
embody the the vibes yeah we're like both matching accidentally yeah i don't know something about like light colors to me just feel more feminine and flowy and open whereas like black is very masculine yeah very newborn so i think black i love black i wear black almost every day all black but it does feel a little bit darker masculine
00:00:58
Speaker
I totally agree.
Complex Relationships with Gender
00:00:59
Speaker
I'm pumped to talk about I think what I finally feel like I have the words to talk about with masculine feminine energy because it's been like this huge topic on social media but I never really dove into it in like an academic way until this year. And I've had such a complicated relationship with
00:01:19
Speaker
femininity and masculinity and i feel like i've gone throughout my whole life really being imbalanced and i'm excited because i feel like i finally have like helpful takeaways right right i think we've been talking about it for a while and we just haven't really gotten our thoughts together but
00:01:41
Speaker
I think it's especially relevant for us because the way we grew up and how we originally viewed mass lending femininity, we've kind of had to stretch part.
00:01:50
Speaker
and then re-understand it. I don't know about you, but I kind of thought being too feminine wasn't a good thing, would go through like tomboy phases, used to love pink, then hated pink, refused to wear pink, would really get rid of my femininity, and then again rejected the feminine side of myself when I entered into the workforce. I don't know, how about you? Were you like,
00:02:19
Speaker
Feminine when you were younger or how did you view it? Not really I feel like I was very much a tomboy when I was younger to the point where My mom would often comment on Like the outfits that she would want to put me into but I'd be like no mom like it's too girly and she's like well I only have one daughter so you have to wear a dress to this birthday party and be like no mom I want to wear jeans I think like
00:02:48
Speaker
Those are some of the starkest memories that I have of it, but I think on an intuitive level, I internalized femininity as being something that was dangerous, as something that put women in a vulnerable place, like growing up with a stay-at-home mom. I really wanted to embody the exact opposite characteristics of what I saw as femininity, which for me was stay-at-home motherhood.
Gender Norms and Societal Expectations
00:03:18
Speaker
And I totally rejected it, rejected it at work, rejected it for most of my life, really lived in my masculine. Yeah. I don't know. I think I still struggle with a little bit. I sometimes do femininity as weakness because that is just something that's been so ingrained. It goes back to just gender norms that were placed on us when we're young. We're told like girls are like scared of bugs and like girly and you know,
00:03:47
Speaker
I think a lot of those things, there were attributes that I did not relate to. I really wanted to be considered smart. And like, I don't know where I got it that girls are good at math or STEM. And it's almost like a reinforcing situation where I thought I had to act like the boys to achieve some of the goals that I wanted, or I didn't want to be bucketed in a certain way. And so I totally the same. I remember when I was like,
00:04:17
Speaker
In elementary school, I used to love pink. And then in high school, I read a bunch of philosophy books, like Simone de Beauvoir's The Second Sex. And I went through first-wave feminism. And so they said, like, you can't be feminine.
00:04:36
Speaker
I would wear long oversized t-shirts that would cover up all my curves. And they were usually black, they had like Star Wars graphics, I wore combat boots, and just really tried to hide my femininity. And I didn't know that that was the purpose of my style at the time, but now it makes sense. Like I'm not trying to be curvy. I'm not trying to be sexy. I don't want to be looked at by the boys.
Femininity vs. Capitalism
00:05:05
Speaker
Yeah, because I guess
00:05:06
Speaker
I didn't realize that like self-hatred in a way where I was like... Like internalized misogyny. Internalized misogyny, exactly. And that's why a lot of girls are like, I'm not like other girls because the way that the world is misogynistic and
00:05:26
Speaker
now turning the page we're coming to realize there's so much that's good about femininity and authentic to who you are and really positive and you don't have to identify with every single part of being girly and feminine but I think there's such an importance of getting to balance and I think you've really come along with even the time that I've known you to finding that balance where you think you are now and how do you even just view
00:05:54
Speaker
I mean to touch on a lot of what you were saying. I think like a lot of that internalized misogyny is like so easy to come across because like, not to get too meta about it, but we live in a capitalist world where the things that matter the most are tangible things. It's work. It's KPIs. It's what did you build? What did you do? What did you blah, blah, blah. And like we live in a very action oriented world.
00:06:22
Speaker
And femininity is inherently set up to like go under the radar in the world that we had because a lot of femininity is intangible and a lot of femininity recharges when we rest.
00:06:39
Speaker
and in a world where it's not very easy to rest and it's looked down upon to rest, we kind of get out of touch with our roots and our deeper essences and the things that really feel more juicy and fun and make us feel
Harmony in Energies: A Bermuda Perspective
00:07:01
Speaker
alive. It's very hard to tap into that aspect of
00:07:05
Speaker
your identity as a feminine person whereas men get to experience that every day because so much of what they do on a day-to-day basis is giving them meaning. Like doing tangible things give them meaning. Working hard is something that makes them feel fulfilled. Like for men that are the breadwinners in their families like
00:07:26
Speaker
that is a core aspect of their identity and they're applauded for it. Whereas women don't really care as much about like that aspect of being a provider or like taking pride in being the sole breadwinner. Like aspects that are more tangible or less meaningful to a lot of us than say having really beautiful female friendships, having an incredible social circle,
00:07:53
Speaker
taking pride in the fact that we take good care of other people and there's like so much emotional labor that goes on behind the scenes where we are the backbones of society in a way because like we're doing the invisible labor behind the scenes for that fortune 500 CEO to go to work every day who's a man it's like yeah taken for granted because we live in a world of tangibles and so I think a lot of like my
00:08:22
Speaker
work on it has been helpful in understanding where it's devalued in the society that we exist in today and also with moving to Bermuda. I am so much more in my rest phase. I have so much more opportunity to rest. It's been a much slower pace of my life. And honestly, I have never felt so in tune with
00:08:51
Speaker
those aspects of myself as I have when I'm either on vacation in a tropical place where I'm like in nature, or I'm like living on an island where everyone's kind of like relaxed. And I would say like overall, like the people in Bermuda are more feminine than the average person. Same goes for like people in Hawaii, like people that live in these tropical places. Even the men skew more feminine because we all have like masculine and feminine attributes.
Success in Male-Dominated Society
00:09:18
Speaker
everyone is kind of like more in flow and like relaxed and vibey yeah yeah i think that's like we i mean this gets into hard topics of like the differences between men and women and you know women are also not rewarded in society for being the provider right there's that thing that's like as men get more successful their options increase as women
00:09:48
Speaker
options decrease. And that's partially because you are more selective. I think in the workforce, it's really the only examples we see of success is or even traditional success as defined by like the tangibles. You only really see that in men. And then right as rational, logical individuals, we look at our surroundings and say, well, this is
00:10:15
Speaker
what I see as successful and I'm in a pattern mesh to it. And there's so much first-rate feminism of like Hillary Clinton and her power suits and Simone Duvois who, you know, lived a very untraditional life in terms of marriage and family. And, you know, I think that was just the only way we saw it for a while. And the only way you could understand feminism for a while is
00:10:45
Speaker
you know, the swinging of the pendulum is an example I make a lot of the time where you go completely against, you go fully into your masculine. And even the period that we're growing, we were growing up, I think that's what we understood. And I think it's also normal to want to be successful in the traditional sense, right? And like, this episode is not to say, reject your masculine, but, you know, like,
00:11:10
Speaker
Like, you know how healing your inner child, healing your inner feminine and being like, it's okay. And be like, what parts actually speak to me? What have I been repressing for so long? And you know, how can I allow that out? And something that's, like you said, it's like, I always feel more in my feminine when I'm on vacation. And not all of us get to live in a place that most people like to vacation.
00:11:36
Speaker
It's right. And like, you know, even the colors, I wear lighter colors when I'm on vacation. It's like an association, you work florals, you, you're more comfortable, you're allowed to relax. And I don't know, I'm admiring the view for like finding that balance. Because sometimes people can swing to the other end where they, you know, I always have dreams of like, Nara Smith, like, well, maybe I'll just like run away into a forest and, you know, just live that life. But
00:12:07
Speaker
No, it's about right. Yeah. I think like everyone is kind of just, it's bigger than having an appreciation for feminine energy. Like as society progresses, we all start to look inward a little bit more. And I think like men are now grappling with having the language and tools to think about their feelings and process emotions that they
00:12:37
Speaker
were never told they were allowed to process. And so they are tapping into their feminine a little bit more and becoming a little bit more balanced. And women are becoming a little bit more balanced in owning the feminine aspects of us and looking inward and being like, oh, I never knew that it was OK to care so much about this thing. Because I think a lot of us really just have internalized generational trauma
00:13:04
Speaker
the negative things that have happened to feminine women throughout history. It was only in the 1950s that men were able to send their wives to asylums because they got fat or they were just nagging them or whatever. This stuff is still so recent. Women were only allowed to have bank accounts,
Scientific Perspectives on Energy
00:13:23
Speaker
I don't know, in the 1970s or something. Something crazy like that. I threw out this. So I was going to say, even today, we still face the, oh, you dressed,
00:13:33
Speaker
too feminine. And that's why you got, you know, blanked. Yeah, but it's like, we've seen, we've seen that there are like life threatening consequences for showing up as a woman in the world. So yeah, of course, we would be like, yeah, shove all that out, get that away from me. I just want freedom. And I'm going to pursue that by getting a job. And then we get the job and then we get the freedom, then we have time to think about our feelings, because we're not in fight or flight. We're like,
00:13:58
Speaker
Oh, okay. I'm not in fight or flight anymore, but is this my most aligned way to live? And that's how we all kind of end up here in the algorithm. I mean, how do you define feminine energy? Like, we all have different definitions, but what are like components that manifest for you? I think if men are the sun, women are the moon, in that the sun shows up every day the same exact way, whereas
00:14:24
Speaker
The moon differs every day, right? Like our menstrual cycles make us different every day. We are portals through which souls can come and become embodied in 3D world to like, not to get too woo woo, but we literally are creative energy embodied. Still, it's still hard to put into words.
00:14:47
Speaker
Yeah, a hundred percent. And it's not completely, you know, just spirituality. There's many definitions that, you know, there's energy in physics and like chemistry, but no, energy is a thing, right? You know, when I say I like someone's energy or I feel your energy or I vibe with it. Yeah. It comes from somewhere. And the most real way I feel this is, I don't know if you've ever sat next to an anxious person, you know, you have to look at their face. You can feel their anxiety.
00:15:14
Speaker
And you can feel someone's positivity. That's a lot of what I define them in energy as, warmth and brightness. And I remember sometimes you ever meet someone, and their energy is just so positive. They're just approaching you, and maybe they're smiling, or maybe they're not even smiling, but their energy is so contagious and warmth. And they're like a beacon. I call them beacons, right? Everyone is drawn to them. All the ships are drawn to the ship.
00:15:44
Speaker
And like energy is a thing and you can feel it in like 3D, 4D, 5D. It's funny that, you know, when women talk about spirituality and energy and manifesting, it's considered woo woo. But then like there's these sci-fi novels that kind of call upon- Or religion, or religion, which is purely patriarchal.
00:16:07
Speaker
And then it's like, well, that's real. But energy is a true scientific thing. And there are ways in which we as humanity have not even understood it yet. And so there's many ways to try and philosophize about it or understand it. And we're getting closer and closer. But there's something to the unexplainable. And I'm guilty of myself before. I used to be like, oh, I can't explain it with science, like our existing science. So it can't be real.
00:16:36
Speaker
But I actually really love the three-body problem. I highly suggest folks watch it, but...
00:16:43
Speaker
The way we understand our world today is so different than it was even a hundred years ago. Who knows what it's going to be like in a hundred years? Science is not maxed out. There's new discoveries happening every single day and the way we understand the physical world around us. And so like what, who knows what it'll look like in 400 years, our mastery of quantum physics and the way someone feels in like feminine versus masculine energy, you can kind of feel that and you can, it embodies how you interact with your world. So,
00:17:11
Speaker
Yes, it's like a sociological thing, but it's also, in some ways, scientific. Only recently, I'm like, actually, you know, it's not just fun things I participate and pontificate on with my friends. It's actually something that I think I can feel and feel real, you know? Yeah. No, I mean, but like, what are emotions, if not just electrons, like moving around in your mind? Yeah.
Balancing Energies at Work
00:17:35
Speaker
Like everything that has matter is energy.
00:17:41
Speaker
Yeah. And I think from like a purely physical perspective, like in Newtonian physics, we don't even have to get into like quantum physics. If someone is anxious, their entropy is higher. So like their array of molecules is vibrating at a higher speed.
00:18:00
Speaker
And if you're sitting next to them, your molecule will start to vibrate at a higher speed just by virtue of being next to them. And then you're like, hmm, something feels different because it's your intuition a little bit, but it's also quite literally the fact that like your energetic field is now at a different vibration because that person's field was so off from yours. Yeah. Yeah. Watch, I mean, watch Huberman, like
00:18:26
Speaker
have an episode about vibrations and energetic fields. And then all the guys are like, let me tell you about this new thing. We've been having talking about it forever. And there are studies, you know, I'm sure there's plenty of studies that demonstrate the way that we're like discovering this. It's hard to not see these things tangibly. You know, sometimes I mean, yeah, I can just imagine like,
00:18:52
Speaker
Even the scientists in this field, who's the guy who does the really famous one about manifesting. Oh, Joe Dispenza? Yeah. Sometimes it's a little like a man who writes something. And then people are like, oh, this scientifically sounds sound. Yeah. But yeah. I could go on a little diatribe about that. Yeah, I mean, sometimes the world as we know it, like,
00:19:19
Speaker
This is venturing a little bit away. We are so the physical world that is around us and so microscopic in what is just directly happening around us. I think we don't really leave space for the unknown. And there are like phenomenons in this world that can't be explained. And I know that that's very uncomfortable to live with. And you were saying people with
00:19:47
Speaker
healing abilities that you've seen throughout history in multiple different cultures that come to the same type of idea. And some of that, you know, we have disproven and understood, but some of it is just truly, what's the word? Remarkable and just, you know, you can't really explain it. And it is like some healing or spiritual energy that... Yeah.
00:20:13
Speaker
It's like almost only a matter of time until science is able to explain what it is that Eastern cultures have all arrived at similar conclusions throughout different cultures. Think about meditation.
00:20:29
Speaker
Even like, I hate to, you know, evoke, you know, man, but like people like Ray Dalio, for instance, who's one of the biggest hedge fund managers, right? He meditates every day. There's a reason why meditation, tai chi, acupuncture. My mom, she has chronic pain that's only solved by acupuncture. There's energy flows in the body. Tai chi, it's just movement, yoga, meditation. And I just find, you know, meditation, tai chi all very,
00:20:58
Speaker
spiritual and feminine. And just because you can't physically understand why something makes you feel a certain way, I think there's still, you know, things to be regarded there. This is a question that I get a lot from my followers. But I want to ask you, just because you're like in it all the time. Yeah. How hard is it to show up as a feminine person when you have a nine to five in a male dominated industry?
00:21:27
Speaker
I've, so this is actually something maybe it's encouraging in some ways. I've recently become more feminine at work and I've seen some positive responses to it.
Gender Roles in Relationships
00:21:38
Speaker
You know, it's hard, right? And I have also become a much more masculine person and in ways that I don't, I didn't even recognize. I don't think masculine energy is a bad thing. You know, I think we tend, I naturally have a lot, but I also really want to
00:21:57
Speaker
be in my feminine too. And I think there's ways to do that. It's kind of hard to turn it on and off. And some strategies I use is like meditation. I try and create a world around me outside of my job that is very feminine. Like, if anyone's been to my room, it's all neutrals. It's so soft. It's like, it really brings you to a more light feeling.
00:22:22
Speaker
like a spa. I try to make my bathroom like a spa. I go to meditation classes. I do Pilates. I think there's ways to incorporate it. And in my work, I bring some feminine energy and people appreciate it, you know, when you're in a good mood, when you're warm. And sometimes when you approach things through your emotions, men actually respond better versus like questioning you. So
00:22:49
Speaker
You know, I'm not going to say it's easy, especially in the job that I work and depends who your team is. I work in the industry of all men. I barely talk to women on a day to day.
00:22:59
Speaker
but there's ways to sprinkle it in. And you can find teams with cultures that are more receptive to that. Some teams might not be, then don't join that team. So it's one of those things where it's not easy. And I'm very intentional about when I log off to have everything being very feminine and, you know, spend time with people who allow me to be feminine. And all the relationships I've been in, I make it very clear, like,
00:23:25
Speaker
I am a girl. I'm just a girl. And I think it's important actually that my partner is masculine or whatever gender, like they take a more masculine role because I do it all day in my role. I don't want to also be masculine in all of my relationships, friendships. I want to be able to be in my feminine in those parts.
00:23:54
Speaker
Yeah, no, it's so real. It's like you don't have any more masculine energy to give at the end of the day. So it's like, all right, I'm done. I'm checked out. Can you please handle everything? Yeah. And I think, like, regardless of, you know, your sexual orientation, I think you can find masculine energy is not just for one gender and
00:24:18
Speaker
I have thoughts. Men and women can both be feminine. I just don't think in terms of my partner, I can be with someone who has too much feminine energy because that forces you into masculine. And even amongst friendships, someone who acts like a princess around me, I'm just like, girl, I can't make this work. Not as a close friend where I have to do everything. I don't know if you've ever traveled with a friend who really
00:24:45
Speaker
you have to be the dad. I'm like, I don't want to be the dad. I'm on vacation,
Cultural Contexts and Gender
00:24:49
Speaker
you know? Yeah. No, I think like, in the books that I've read, basically everyone that of the people that write these books that have also held seminars on like tapping into a specific energy, they find that about 10% of each gender is dominant in the opposite
00:25:15
Speaker
energy. So like 10% of women are mask dominant, and 10% of men are fem dominant. And then obviously there's like an entire spectrum. Right. But it's it's all about finding what authentically shows up for you and like what feels the best for you. Yeah. Yeah. I agree with that. And I think
00:25:42
Speaker
There's definitely a spectrum. And it's a culture thing too. That's what I've seen a lot, right? Where some cultures, like I know in northern Europe, they're very 50-50. And maybe if you're raised that way, that's normal. And then there's cultures in Asia, in Latin America, in the Middle East, wherever, that are a little bit more traditional. I think in relationship dynamics, it gets even more complicated because
00:26:12
Speaker
then the relationship is existing in the context of like the specific culture and socioeconomic context that it's in. Like I was watching this, I was like a bunch of like a jargon, but what I want to say is there was this TikTok that I saw today of this French woman who was living in the US and she was talking about how her perception of dating and American women had changed since moving to the US because
00:26:39
Speaker
Apparently, French people think that American women are gold diggers, because we want someone who went to a specific school, we want ABCDEFG, we have like a whole list of things that we want in a man. And then after living in the US for a while, she's like, Oh my gosh, I get it because
00:26:56
Speaker
In France, you have all these social benefits from the government. Like, if you have a baby, they're sending someone to your house to teach you on how to be a mother. They are giving you free diapers, like giving birth is free, like you get all the social assistance. And yeah, of course, like we're purely romantics. And like, I don't care if my husband has a mistress and all this stuff. Like, everything is just love. Whereas in the US, you go to the hospital, you need a c-section, whatever. And they're like, all right, here you go. $30,000 bill, like,
00:27:27
Speaker
I understand now why American women are so financially demanding of men because where the government fails to subsidize, we need a man's personal income to subsidize because obviously we're going to be taken out of the workforce for however long a period of time. Like you can't make money. So it's just a lot more 50 50 in cultures where women have more economic opportunity and social protection. Right.
00:27:56
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, I think that makes a lot sense. Like Northern Europe has the, by whatever metric that they measured, gender gap is the smallest. And I think it's that question, I think we're like, why don't you split the bill if, you know, we make, if, if like, let's say a guy makes less money than you, why don't you split the bill with him? And I'm like, let, I'll split the bill when there's just like,
00:28:24
Speaker
no patriarchy. Why am I the first one? It's already not my favorite. So why am I the person to be like, oh, I want to show you. So I'm going to show you how I want to do it. And I'm like, no, you make it more equal. And then like, when it's equal, I'll be like, okay, no, no, I'll split the bill. Like as if you're going to move the needle by like paying for 50% of your dinner or like whatever. Yeah, it's just such a troll comment.
Masculine Energy in Leadership
00:28:46
Speaker
It really is. But no, I think
00:28:51
Speaker
Masculine and feminine energy, ultimately, I'm still coming to balance with each, but it's okay. You're not always going to be at equilibrium. I don't want to antagonize having masculine energy because sometimes I love it. It feeds me. When I feel like I'm kicking butt, I'm like, no, I want to be aggressive. The challenging part is sometimes society is not very receptive to women being masculine.
00:29:20
Speaker
look what Hillary Clinton saw. Even when you try and be one of the boys and they'll be like, well, there's something I just don't, that's off about her. I just don't really like her for some reason. I can't put my finger on it, but I just don't like it. I'm like, you don't like when a woman acts masculine either. So there's challenges, right? And we're not going to solve patriarchy in our generation, at least. So this is like advice to navigate the world that we live in and rethink the ways in which
00:29:50
Speaker
We've been, I don't know, indoctrinated. And yeah, I don't know. I like being feminine, you know? I think it's funny. I think when most people see me, they think I'm a very feminine person. And then they think I'm a masculine person. If you know me, you think I'm a feminine person.
00:30:11
Speaker
If you know, know me, then I'm a masculine person. If you know, know, know me, then I'm a feminine person. You know, there's like layers. Yeah. I think you're just really balanced. And you're very good at tapping into like the energy that you need for the situation that you're in.
00:30:28
Speaker
I try to. It's hard, right? It's like code switching in a way. And yeah, I think there are definitely workplaces that are more receptive to feminine energy than masculine. It's finding the right one, even within finance. You can find places that have more and maybe there's not many, like I think a good- Yeah, like where?
00:30:51
Speaker
I mean, I think a good benchmark is, you know, how many women are there on the team? I think having a token woman, it doesn't really do anything. Or even having 10% doesn't really do anything. I heard the statistic is you need 30% to actually make a significant change where you can feel it. Because then when it's still just like only a scattered few women, you're just still trying to survive in this male dumb ecosystem. So there's no solution, but I don't want to discourage people from doing it. I think you can still find a balance.
Supporting Feminine Energy through Environment
00:31:20
Speaker
maybe start your own thing and or maybe like you are you just have to like turn it on for the job find out ways that you can be masculine that's gonna be received while it's fun ways that you can be feminine and it'll be received well it's an extra thing that we need to think about that men don't but you can also tap into your your feminine afterwards but there are also a lot of women who are naturally just very masculine and like that's there's nothing wrong with that i think you know i'm naturally very masculine in many ways but then i
00:31:51
Speaker
I'm also very feminine and a lot of it is I repressed that and I thought it was a bad thing to be feminine. I think if I had to move to Miami, I don't know. I would have fully discovered that. If I had just stayed in New York the entire time and stayed in finance, I don't know if I would have. Honestly, same. Miami did so much for me with that whole journey. It's actually crazy. Yeah.
00:32:13
Speaker
sometimes changing your environment, right? Like, New York is very hard to maintaining in your feminine. Like, if I go out onto the streets of New York, and I'm like,
00:32:24
Speaker
I am warm, I'm open, I'm loving, I am, if my feminine, I'm in flow. It's like, Hey, I'm walking here. Like people yelling at you and cars honking and like the sirens in the background and like homeless people yelling at you that you have to be like, you have to put your guard up. You'd be literally everyone would look at you like you're crazy if you're just like. It's like, it's, it's like too soon for it to be funny, but like women have been getting punched in the face in New York. Like, no, you're not going to be relaxed and in flow walking down the street.
00:32:54
Speaker
No, so you have to. It's just a survival thing. And, Miami, you can, you can like just like vibe and walk through Brickell and just, you know, wear your cute little fits. And I'd be kind of scared. Sometimes I am scared to wear just like workout fits around. There's this thing about like girls have their subway t shirt or subway jacket, where they have their regular outfit or they're going on an outfit. And then when they're in subway, they put on this jacket so like they won't get harassed.
00:33:21
Speaker
Yeah, the cat calling in New York is terrifying. So it is sometimes, you can also move, you know, I find it's to move to the Upper West Side, Upper East Side, to some areas in Brooklyn. There's definitely spots that you can feel more safe in and, you know, friends move to Connecticut. Like, I don't think it's impossible. I think it's like being active in making that choice to do that. Yeah.
Expressing Feminine Archetypes
00:33:50
Speaker
Yeah and something that I did want to ask you about is like the cat versus the cow because you just told me about this because for a while I was actually I thought I didn't relate to feminine energy because I always thought of it as more like giving what I was giving to you guys.
00:34:08
Speaker
Yeah, what I was saying on my TikTok was more like black cat energy, like a little bit more like seductive and cold. And my view of feminine energy is like utter warmth. That's when I feel most of my feminine and like nurturing. And then you told me like the cat versus the cow analogy that you learned about. Yeah, like I first heard from this concept from Margarita Nazarenko and she does a lot of like
00:34:35
Speaker
how to increase the polarity in your relationship content. A lot of it is for like wives that are tired. They just feel like they're the giving treat. And a lot of her content is about moving away from the cow, which is nurturing, motherly, matronly. She gives, she gives, she gives, she gives. And shift into being cat.
00:34:59
Speaker
which is still a feminine archetype, but it's more reclusive. You're selfish about your energy. You spend time on yourself doing things that you enjoy. You take time to recharge. You have strong boundaries. And when you're present, you're there, but you're there having a good time for yourself, and you don't care if anyone else is having a good time.
00:35:27
Speaker
It's basically like extreme selflessness to a more, call it selfish, but I just think it's having strong boundaries and like honoring yourself kind of a person. But it's basically like black cat energy versus golden retriever energy. If the golden retriever was like, you know, overdoing it by a lot. And so there are like so many different feminine archetypes. There is the maiden,
00:35:57
Speaker
What is it, the maiden, the mother, the crone? I think like those are three different ways to split it up, but you can be like the dark seductress or you can be like little fairy girl in the woods or you can be like the wise old woman or you can be like the creative little artist. Like there are so many ways to be feminine, but because like the media has fed us certain archetypes of them, like you kind of
00:36:25
Speaker
internalize it in the way that your upbringing makes you internalize it. Yeah, that's such a good point. It is again like the pendulum, right? You see one way, so I'm like, oh, this is feminine energy. I really do now have an appreciation for feminine energy because
00:36:43
Speaker
Like now I use meditations to plug ourselves. I did a meditation to actually help you guys tap into
Redefining Femininity and Success
00:36:49
Speaker
your feminine energy. If you want to take a listen to that, it's really quick and I need things to be quick in order to motivate myself to do it. But it's so fast how you can just like shift zones. It doesn't really take you that long. You can just change your breath in certain ways. And I think we're all working towards and like your definition might be different than mine. Whoever's listening's definition is different, but I'm glad that we're at least now like accepting it.
00:37:12
Speaker
Yeah. I think it's like such an important self discovery journey to go through in your twenties. Yeah.
00:37:23
Speaker
I think our generation is in that weird phase where we weren't quite in the girl boss era, but we don't have that sense of Gen Z nihilism about corporate. So we were like, wait, how much should I care? Should I not care? I don't know. This heals off, but I don't know how to put it into words. And so it's kind of put us on these journeys.
00:37:45
Speaker
And I think it's all for the best. It's all for like the greater good. And honestly, I love how well versed everyone is becoming in my personal life online everywhere on things that are ultimately just making us seek more aligned lives. And I think that that's literally the whole purpose of life. So I get so excited about this topic. Yeah, yeah. I think I think it's really, you know,
00:38:14
Speaker
because before I think I used to think feminism for some reason was not femininity and we had such and I couldn't really fit into my definition of feminism but actually it is you know having options and being broad and like allowing space for women to do all these things to meet feminism and yeah being able like for instance being able to show up as your authentic self and be feminine at work and have that be accepted and not you know
00:38:42
Speaker
try to squash feminism to me is more like making it a space where women can survive and like do well and succeed because we shouldn't be like forcing women to have to be in their masking or be a certain type of person or go through so much chewing glass and break through glass ceilings in order to get there and like get the goal like we should create an environment that allows women to naturally succeed and be a place that they want to be in rather than like
00:39:11
Speaker
we want you to just like lean in. Like if there's too much, I think we were part of the lean in culture where like you just do it.
00:39:19
Speaker
you have to do it. But first, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if you're bleeding. Versus now I'm like, actually, how once have I leaned in like you pulled the chair for me or like, you know, make it a place that women want to be in and like accept and I think hopefully we're moving more towards that we're seeing successful women who don't prescribe to like the
00:39:44
Speaker
the traditional means of success, or don't look like the traditional means of success. And that's a lot of big reasons why we do this, right? Because some of you don't see yourself in successful, like Paris Hilton is a great example, I think, of redefining yourself, being very girly and feminine, but then also like showing up as her authentic self. Like she's, she used to be big in NFTs and she wasn't like trying to be like a crypto bro, pretending to be a crypto bro being big in NFTs, she was Paris Hilton being into NFTs, you know? Yes. Yeah. That's a really good example.
00:40:13
Speaker
Yeah. And I think seeing those examples and like, Oh, I can be myself. I can be different versions and also participate. I think it's helpful.
Conclusion and Call to Action
00:40:21
Speaker
What do you want to sign us off then? Yeah. Thank you guys so much for tuning in. You know where to find us. We're at pretty invested media everywhere. If you enjoy this episode, please rate us subscribe, download, do all the things and we'll see you next week. Thanks guys. Bye. Bye.