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Episode 10: Importance of Memories
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On this episode, the guys discuss some of their favorite memories, and why it is important to have and make memories.
Good Morning, Gents! This is a podcast hosted by four Marine Corps veterans with the goal of uplifting men to be the best version of ourselves. In an age of high rates of suicide and depression, especially in the male population, we are taking a stand. This is a place that will cover all of the challenges and realities that we face in the current world, and how we can break down barriers to betterment for ourselves, our families, and the world.
A tragic suicide of our friend sparked an idea and experiment for us as we rekindled our friendship: A group text where we say "Good Morning" to each other every single day, and continue the conversation about what is going on in our lives, be there for one another, and spread positivity and reassurance. Men bear so much weight of responsibility in society that it is hard for men to have an outlet to express themselves. This has attributed to the vast number of suicides in the male population. We aim to cut those numbers down with this podcast. Between the discussions our hosts will talk about, and the guests we bring onto the show, we invite you to join us on this journey towards self-betterment for all.
Email: Goodmorninggentspd@gmail.com
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Transcript
Introduction and Catch-up
00:00:07
Speaker
Good morning,
00:00:11
Speaker
good morning, good morning, good morning, gents. Even though it's not morning time. So Caleb here, Tyler, Brandon, we're all on. We're missing Mac this week. A little busy day for him.
00:00:24
Speaker
So just a recap of last week, we talked transitions, whether that's job transition, transition to sobriety, or whatever your transition may be, just transitions in life.
00:00:35
Speaker
Transitions are different than change. Go listen to that episode, episode nine, if you want to hear our stance on transition.
Focus on Positive Memories
00:00:42
Speaker
All right, so this week we're going to talk about the importance of memories, mostly positive memories.
00:00:48
Speaker
ah we We've kind of spun into some more negative space episodes, so this one we're going to keep on the positive side. But before we jump into trend ah in into memories, let's see how everybody's week was.
00:01:01
Speaker
Brando, how was the week? Oh, dude. Honestly, this week flew by. I mean, we got ah had a good warm up there up here in the in the great white north and then got hit with a pretty good snowstorm the other day. And then we're looking at the 40s going into this week. So I'm honestly digging it, man. I get to go for walks outside again.
00:01:19
Speaker
Nice. Nice. I was about to say, i don't know if that picture you sent the other day was a warm up. You look like a Yeti. yeah looked like a yeti
00:01:30
Speaker
There's nothing but fresh powder out there, man. It was stuck to your face. Your mustache was holding mix the... You look like Al Pacino rolled around in a pile of Coke. We got to post that on the Instagram page.
00:01:45
Speaker
Oh, you got it. Tyler, how was the work week, bud? Is it still busy at work? Yeah, it was. ah The work week was pretty shit. um My last shift a few days ago was like one of the longest shifts ever. It felt like it just dragged on and on and on.
00:02:02
Speaker
co-workers pulled a prank on me where they kept throwing my laundry in in the washer. i would throw it in the dryer, it would be drying, and then they'd throw it in the washer again, and it was just like perpetually washing for like 10 loads straight, just 10 cycles of ah ah bullshit.
00:02:18
Speaker
So I started standing guard, and then they would like sneak in around me fucking, I hear the the door to the dryer creak open, I'm like, oh fuck, by the time I get over there, it's back in the wash, I'm like, oh Jesus Christ, so...
00:02:30
Speaker
It was pretty funny, honestly, but I was pissed. Other than that, was pretty good. Yesterday, went to a we had a annual, it's called Guns and Hoses um hockey game.
00:02:41
Speaker
It's firefighters versus cops in the local area. Firefighters won in overtime, and it was pretty awesome seeing them fight, too. So, yeah, it was pretty good. You guys do hockey there, huh? so here here in Omaha, our Guns and Hoses is boxing matches. like There's...
00:02:59
Speaker
in ah So like Yonkers, where I'm from, ah where I was born and where my brother works, um he they do ah boxing matches there. But here we here we do ah hockey.
00:03:12
Speaker
We got pigs in heat up here. Pigs in heat, huh? Yeah, pigs in heat is what they call it. Okay. and Okay. Well, I see a we we got a ghost that jumped on.
00:03:24
Speaker
Mac jumped on. I do know he's got a busy day, like I said, so he he's going to hop in and out of this episode as needed, I do believe. Mac, if you're if you want, how was the week, dude?
00:03:35
Speaker
Fucking long. There you go, guys. Told you it was busy. Okay. It's starting over tomorrow. Eight hours until it starts again. Yep, absolutely.
00:03:46
Speaker
It's that grind, man. I'm in the
Sharing Personal Memories
00:03:48
Speaker
camp. My week kind of cooked by. was kind desolate office. We had... it's kind of a ah desolate office we had couple people out on like bereavement leave, had people out traveling our system.
00:04:00
Speaker
So when I don't get to socialize at work, it kind of just flies by, which is weird. You'd think it would be the opposite. And this weekend, then we went back to North Platte and celebrated Tara's grandma's 80th birthday. So the kids got to hike around the canyons with me all weekend and We found a bobcat den and and have the heart didn't have the heart to tell them that the bones that they were finding weren't fossils. They were just animals that the bobcat killed. Dinosaur bones.
00:04:30
Speaker
dinosaur bones All right. So I'm going to, I'm going to lean in here and I'm going to say, i think that's a good place for us to transition, right? Like I spent the weekend making some crazy ass memories with my children and you know, they're going to always remember the weekend where they, they found a Bobcat den and they found some dinosaur bones.
00:04:50
Speaker
um That's going to be, that's going to be in their, in their heads for, for a long time. um So I think I'm going to start with a memory I've gotten. I'd like to everybody kind of share memories there and then,
00:05:00
Speaker
We'll kind of talk through what memories mean, why they're important to make, and what your job as a as a male in your household, whether it's just with a wife, with a spouse, or even just amongst your bros, is in making memories for people.
00:05:14
Speaker
so My first memory or not my first memory, right? The the memory I chose to talk about is is like this super memorable fishing trip with my dad, right? Like I can tell you down to the T we were fishing.
00:05:27
Speaker
We had this 18 foot Lake Sport Center console, had a 45 Yamaha in the back. My dad had a 1998 two-tone green and gri silver Chevy Silverado.
00:05:38
Speaker
And like we left where we lived and we drove to, it's called Chef's Pass. It's over by Lake Pontchartrain on the north side of Louisiana or north side of New Orleans. Put in and we spent the day ah just in and out of the marsh catching redfish.
00:05:53
Speaker
And specifically, like we were just killing it. South Louisiana has one of the best red fisheries in the entire country. So you're allowed, you're allowed ah Then you were allowed ah five fish a person um like North Carolina, on the other hand. So I think it's one or three.
00:06:08
Speaker
It's like one slot drum and then two, two smaller. Right. So it's three South Louisiana is one slot and four smaller ones. But Anyway, we're just crushing it. Like, orre we're a couple fish away from our limit, and we we push back into this flat. And I remember my dad casts, and the drag just starts screaming as soon as the bait hits the water.
00:06:29
Speaker
He's hanging off the boat with one hand, rodding the other hand, and like he's, like, yelling at me to push the boat through the marsh, but I'm, like... 12 or 13 and we're in like three inches of water so we're stuck on the mud line breaks this big red fish gets away the tide is going out and we're stuck so we sat there for like four and a half hours getting cooked in the sun uh tide comes back in we fish our way out we catch our two our last two fish he's like i'm not ready to go home my dad's bald right
00:07:01
Speaker
And so his his head's just fried like cherry red. So we pull up but ah by this is ah channel marker and we start catching speckled trout and white trout and we just crush that. And then we head home and I've got the picture upstairs. I was going try and find it. But with us going out of town this weekend, i didn't have time, but we get home and.
00:07:23
Speaker
We get a picture taken as just like the best day fishing you could possibly dream of, right? Like in South Louisiana, it's a limit of specs, the limit of white trout, it's a limit of reds. There's a flounder in there, you know, my dad's burnt, but it just, one of those memories that like, it was just such quality time with him.
00:07:42
Speaker
And another reason it's important to me is is my dad passed when I was 27 years old. So 2017. Right. It's not that I chose this memory because i I like my dad more than my mom. But it's it's because it's it's one of the best memories I have with somebody that is no longer here. um You know, I'm still making memories with my mom.
00:07:59
Speaker
um You know, we make those weekly, daily, monthly that we're still doing. We're still doing life together. So with that, that's that's my memory. Anybody want to go next?
00:08:10
Speaker
I can go next, I guess, guys. Sorry. I saw you meet your mic. im like, I guess Brandon doesn't want to go. you No, man. I've had just like frog in my throat for a few weeks now.
00:08:22
Speaker
I had to clear it up a little bit there. Dude, I'm sitting here thinking and I'm trying to think of memories, dude. You know, honestly, since you threw out that that this topic for this week, Caleb, has just been a week of reflection almost. And it's been kind of kind of good. So I thank you for for giving me a little jab in the ribs there to get me thinking. um one One memory that I always loved was camping out at my uncle's house. And this was with my family. you know My uncle, he had a, yeah had I think it was like five or 10 acre lake.
00:08:52
Speaker
I can't remember that, but like 120 acres surrounding it. And we'd ride four wheelers. it was no electricity. So campfire light, candles, tiki torches, stuff like that.
00:09:03
Speaker
But yeah, I remember we'd go out fishing on the lake and be catching like bluegill or perch or brim for you Southerners. We'd bring them back and my my mom would help clean them. My dad would get the fire going over the over the fire pit and we'd cook out there on the fire, dude.
00:09:19
Speaker
I love open fire cooking because of that. Every time we go camping, I've got my cast nines set up. Everything. But there's one memory, there's one We'd have cousins out there with us and they'd have their three wheelers. We'd have our four wheeler.
00:09:31
Speaker
We always do like a family, like fishing tournament. We'd get on these little boats and we'd go out fishing in my uncle's lake. And I'd be on like a tube or a pontoon that one of us would have to jump out and push or kick with our feet.
00:09:43
Speaker
And we just kind of float this pontoon around, the around the lake by, by manpower. And we were coming back in after it getting dark there. And my my mom, my dad took my mom out in the boat with him because she'd been bugging him all day to go fishing. She'd never done it. She's not much of an outdoors woman.
00:10:02
Speaker
But she gets out there. And we're coming back in, and the dock we had set up was not not stable by any means. It was basically an old porch that my uncle just set up over that over the lake there.
00:10:15
Speaker
And there was really no step out. And if you weren't very nimble, I don't think you're getting up on it. She kind of went end over end and into the water and come out with seaweed all over mud. And she's yelling at everybody. But she remembered that she'd always talk about it. I'm never going fishing with you again. But she'd always bring it up in conversation. For some reason, we'd just laugh with her.
00:10:36
Speaker
I remember she was so heated, though. She still helped. She got cleaned up, took a shower. That night, I think we thought about. shoot bluegill and perch. There's no limit on them, but we had about four northern out of my uncle's lake and 15 bluegill and about 12 perch. So we ate pretty good, but just, just thinking about it, man, I got the smell of the campfire and the sound of the cast iron, you know, my mom yelling for my brother, my aunt yelling for my cousins and It's just a time of like happiness and peace. yeah that's That's one of my biggest memories I could think of, that I just enjoy camping at my Uncle's Lake every summer.
00:11:09
Speaker
Hell yeah. Is that still an option for you, like Uncle's Lake? We can still go there. it's bits Since my mom's passed and then my but cousins and them, they've all grown up and they've got their own families. We kind of just all drifted apart a little bit.
00:11:24
Speaker
It was just a great... I mean, if I could go back and do it with my kids... They'd be awesome. But that's one memory that I look forward to making with my daughter and how I like doing camping as rustic as possible and kind of keeping it as close to simple as I can.
00:11:39
Speaker
Hell yeah. Hell yeah. yeah Tyler, you're off. your your Your mic is engaged. You're up next. All right. I like... what you guys kind of brought up, it kind of sparked some memories for me.
00:11:50
Speaker
um i like that you brought up like outdoors, that kind of stuff with memories, because i mean i didn't have too much of that growing up, but at the same time, i think back to like my childhood memories, a lot of them involve like going to theme parks, which was always an awful experience for me, because i was severely motion sick, and...
00:12:14
Speaker
I ruined the time of my family every single time we went. My dad would have to go on the rides with my brother, who was a nutjob and wanted to do all this high-octane stuff. And i will i could barely go on the most simple rides because I just would either vomit or just be motion sick or...
00:12:31
Speaker
scream in terror because I was scared of everything. So my mom would wait on the side with me. So I was that kind of stuff always kind of sucked for me. But thinking back to like outdoorsy memories, ah one of my favorites with my dad, um my friend Mike was sleeping over one day and we were staying up like late. It was probably like two in the morning. We're just like,
00:12:56
Speaker
watching some TV. and think we were looking at like a Lego magazine because we used to build Legos together. And, you know, when you're like a kid and like your parents walk in and you pretend to fall asleep, we kind of did that because we were didn't want to get caught being up you know, so late because we were still pretty young and my dad kind of saw through the bullshit was like, get up. I want to show you something. So we ran outside and there was this fucking we're just on my back porch and there was this giant meteor shower and it was like the most beautiful thing you'd ever seen because like, you know, kind of where I'm from in New York, you don't
00:13:30
Speaker
really get to see that kind of shit too often it's not like the middle of nowhere where there's just no lights and you can see 10 trillion stars you know you could see a decent amount but you can't see like everything in the the night sky so getting to see that kind of stuff was rare um so to see this giant meteor shower as a kid was pretty awesome and i was really glad that my dad like kind of wanted to share that moment with me and get me out there.
00:13:54
Speaker
So I never forgot about that. And yeah, like I think most of my good memories involve family members and like the time that I spent with them in the little moments.
00:14:05
Speaker
um My mom, most of the stuff involves stuff around the house because she's kind of a homebody, doesn't like to explore too much. But my dad, like I feel like I've done quite a bit with been on some nice adventures with him.
00:14:19
Speaker
um Another one that sticks out, which, you know, isn't really a childhood memory, but something that really ah sticks out for me is when we got back from our Mew.
00:14:30
Speaker
um i remember thinking back to when I returned from Afghanistan and I was getting off the plane in Japan and then We're waiting around in the motor pool and then all the families rush up to all the, you know, the married officers and staff and COs and shit. And I was like, man, like this, this sucks. Me and a couple other Lance corporals just kind of moseyed on over to the barracks, went over to an empty room and just sat down. i'm like, man, like what kind of homecoming is this?
00:14:58
Speaker
And then ah fast forward to our Mew deployment and getting off the bus. And somehow my dad found a way to go there. Didn't tell me he was coming.
00:15:09
Speaker
Just, you know, surprised me getting off and having him there for that was was really special. I definitely cried a bit. And I'm really sad I didn't get a photo of it because I'd like to look back on that. But, you know, just having that memory always makes me smile.
00:15:23
Speaker
Hell yeah. Hell yeah. yeah All right, Mac, what you got? ah put absolutely zero thought into this and I didn't even know what the topic was.
00:15:34
Speaker
That's how my week is going. Out of all the text messages you guys have sent this week, I read maybe 20% of them. I'm going to be honest. oh You missed all that shit talk, dude.
00:15:45
Speaker
It's fine. don't even give a shit. I've had so much shit talk this week. Dude, don't have a specific memory. I've got people I remember. There's characters I've met along the way that it's more about the people I've met that have been a part of life, shit like that, than the memories. So I've met, oh, just example, there's an old, he's passed away now, but his name is loris walauer and it was and sheriff in Worth County, Missouri.
00:16:18
Speaker
share for a long time and loris was a he was about as big a round as he was tall and i don't know how old he was when i first met loris i met loris when i was like elementary school he worked with my dad And he was about 20 years behind everyone else.
00:16:33
Speaker
And he was a, as a sheriff, he carried a 22 pistol that he might've put in his pocket. Maybe if he got out with it and he was the nicest old, good old boy I've ever met.
00:16:47
Speaker
And he's just one of those characters that you'll just never forget. He was funny. He was loud. You could hardly understand what the fuck he said when he said it. And he's charismatic and he talked to anybody.
00:16:59
Speaker
and stories I've heard. He was the toughest son of bitch you've ever met. And i remember being his retirement party and goes, I knew I was, I knew I was willing to retire when I hit that old boy and I had to hit him again and put him down.
00:17:13
Speaker
i remember thinking, what the fuck is wrong with this old man? And it's just people like that. I've met a along the way. Um, I don't know. For some reason, his care charisma put such an emphasis on me and my little brother. My little brother named his K-9 unit after him.
00:17:31
Speaker
ah He was just funny, man. He was one of those characters you meet and you always have memories of. And it's one of those unique people you meet along the way that you know you'll you'll never meet again.
00:17:43
Speaker
a handful of people like that i've had the joy and the pleasure of meeting and knowing and memories of them either growing up or as an adult or some short-lived and around for a little bit and gone and some of them were around when they needed to be around and some were just part of your life um some are still around but ah don't have specific memories i think of it's more people i think of that uh are either in one memory or lots of memories. And they made some sort of impact, whether they're good, bad, or ugly, whatever, um on my life. And I think i think that's something to hold onto is hold onto the people and what you liked about them and what you hated about them and take that and put it towards your own life.
00:18:29
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. So I got two things for you, Mac. First of all, you know it's been a long week because you did know the topic. You were the first to reply and said, I like it.
00:18:40
Speaker
So I know it's been a long week if if you've moved past. I forgive you, buddy. yeah And the second thing is you've talked about Loras so much so that that that i that i I actually, when you said the name, it it triggered me remembering you talking about him like in the gym or on deployment or just in general.
00:19:04
Speaker
I have that old man member that. That old man raised cattle. Toughest son of bitch, mean son bitch, nicest guy you ever meet. That old man raised cattle to the point that we would buy cows off him, right, for beef.
00:19:17
Speaker
He got a I don't remember what the fuck, is it was a blind or something, and he couldn't release it out to the pasture. So he was like, oh, i'll I'll raise it and I'll sell it to you. And i remember my old man, my dad,
00:19:29
Speaker
getting annoyed because he wouldn't kill the fucking thing when it came kind of slaughter. He bottle fed it and then hand fed and he fell in love with the fucking cow. He couldn't sell it.
00:19:40
Speaker
Shit like that. He drove his Crown Vic patrol car across the cornfield one day to come see what we were fishing for. like Just goofy ass shit like that. There's a couple people like that. Before you move on,
00:19:53
Speaker
before we move on I did find some pictures. Oh, that's awesome. Hell yeah, dude. That's awesome. That's amazing. For the listeners, Brandon is holding up a picturesque summer vacation one pager that looks like it's straight out of the 90s.
00:20:12
Speaker
Like 100%. Like you can tell this is a bar. by That's a 90s. I like the light blue background. A 90s baby made it. A 90s baby made it. All right. so now we've all kind of shared some memories. You guys get a glimpse into what what really has motivated us in the past and kind of the things we, you know, but those moments we've held dear.
Importance of Memories
00:20:34
Speaker
So ah kind of want to talk through what memories mean to us. Why do we hold on to them? what ah What significance are memories? Like, why do why do we as men hold on to memories versus just forgetting shit moving forward, right? Yeah.
00:20:50
Speaker
So for me, memories are a way to like relive happiness, um to go to when things aren't happy or um to kind of bring up down times.
00:21:03
Speaker
I don't ever find myself reflecting on, I say that, but I typically don't find myself reflecting on memories in good moments. um And maybe that's just the nature of how life has been past couple of years. But like the memories I found myself reflecting on have always been around somebody passing as of recently. Right.
00:21:25
Speaker
And that's that's hard is because you're you're you're trying to find the joy in such a negative space. Right. I really think, you know, i'd I'd really like to be more intentional with finding the joy while in a positive space of just reaching back.
00:21:41
Speaker
And I'm going to be honest, so we've done that with this with this podcast too. Like, think about all the times that the listeners don't get to hear us bullshitting for an hour before we record or... hanging on the line after and and and just talking like like boys, you know?
00:21:56
Speaker
so I mean, that's, to me, a memory is a, and they're not all positive, but a memory is a positive way to escape current realities. I really struggle with being in the moment, and memories usually invoke sadness or, like, some sort of, like, missing the past for me.
00:22:17
Speaker
And just thinking back and being like, man, like, I either miss this person or this thing, this moment in time, but I struggle a lot with just enjoying the moment that I'm currently in.
00:22:28
Speaker
ah I feel like I've always had that problem. But even like, you know, I'll go to like a fucking wedding and I'll be around everyone dancing and having fun. And I'm just like looking at people and thinking,
00:22:40
Speaker
Oh, there's there's old grandma dancing over there. Like, this is probably her fucking last wedding. She's going to be here. Like, I have such this negative fucking outlook. And I'm like, why am I so morbid, bro?
00:22:52
Speaker
But, you know, when I look back on things, like, I try to look as fondly as possible on my experiences and memories, like even the bad shit. Like, I look at way more fondly than I look at things in the present.
00:23:05
Speaker
Everything's a lesson, though. Sorry, bro. Yeah. No, no, that's exactly what I was going into. I think our memories, we we use them as it's kind of like ah as a guideline to what we're doing in our future or in our present even. you know like I know I'm not going to put a wrench on ah on a battery between the negative and positive terminal because I remember from a memory that that'll zap you. you know Or if I drink this liquor, I know what's going to happen. you know like You don't drink tequila. don't have those memories.
00:23:33
Speaker
You drink that liquor, it goes away. Yeah. but I remember what happens when there's a lack of memories. Oh yes. Yes. What did I do last night?
00:23:44
Speaker
But I, I don't know this week it was making me think of like, I think it was Socrates. The unexamined life is not worth living. and And when you, like I said, when you, pull when you pulled this up, man, it's a lot of memories just started coming back. Like which one is, is the best one or which one is a good one when there's so many.
00:24:03
Speaker
But I agree with you, Tyler, man. Like, I can get pretty morbid too. Like at work, I work with some pretty old people sometimes. And it's like, dude, you VA a is not going to adjudicate stuff fast enough before you c croak.
00:24:15
Speaker
You know, like we can't say that even though it's like, you know, so, but I think memories are are a guideline or a book, good or bad, you know? And how we how we wade through them or or or live in them is what what makes us in our present, too.
00:24:32
Speaker
Yeah. So we're going to stay on topic, but we're going sidebar here a little bit. Everybody here has some sort of form of social media. Yeah. Right. That helps us capture memories.
00:24:44
Speaker
But that's but that's not where I'm that's not where I'm going with it. There's videos that float around Facebook and it's like high school in the 90s or early 2000s or right. It's like a montage of like a 90s kid's life.
00:24:57
Speaker
I don't think I get any more sad than when I watch those fucking videos, dude. I miss I miss rocket power on a Saturday morning.
00:25:08
Speaker
which You know what I mean? Like. But yeah, like, again, everybody wants to talk about memories or morbid and shit, but all four of us just, I was watching the cameras. Everybody had a smile when I dropped Rocket Power on a Saturday morning, right? Because it's awesome.
00:25:23
Speaker
Yeah, but just think about how, like, even trivial that was and how much it it impacts and, like, kind of shapes who, like, we grew up to be, right? Like, I'm not saying you you you profoundly changed because you watched Rocket Power on a Saturday morning, but... You might have,
00:25:39
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, i but i had a skateboard face. It was directly tied to a little bit of rocket power, but... But it's just funny, like the the things that you don't realize meant so much to you in the past, or or maybe you held so near and dear in the past, you don't remember them until they're triggered by something, right? And like I said, dude, i I've watched a 90s child montage and come out of it, missed the item, like, fuck, I want that back so bad. It's a
00:26:10
Speaker
Dude, I forced my kids to go to the park. Like, I know there's people that are are like, oh, like they can like get away with their kids just like sitting on video games, ignoring life. Dude, like this afternoon, I took my kids to the park for two and a half hours.
00:26:23
Speaker
i I remember growing up outside without fucking that shit. No, like I'm going to force you to be around other children and socialize because it's fun.
00:26:34
Speaker
So, yeah, I was there's a town up here where I live where my dad grew up. It's called Republic. It's an old mining town. And I think there's a population of 500 people in it.
00:26:46
Speaker
And when we were kids, we were told to go outside. we were told to be seen, not heard. And if we weren't seen, we could be as loud as we want. So we were all over that town on pedal bikes, making jumps, careers.
00:26:57
Speaker
Raising a ruckus, but I mean, the whole town raised us because they knew who we were. You know, like being outside is great for kids. That's we were sitting there talking last weekend.
00:27:07
Speaker
So we brought the kids back out to the like we were back in North Plat two weekends in a row. But we were I sent you guys pictures. But like we were pulling the kids on the sled behind the four roller.
00:27:18
Speaker
was sitting there talking and like they're having a great time. But like when I was a kid, like it was a truck hood behind a suburban. Like things have downgraded a little bit. But like still the the same memories is there. And they're going to remember that more than, you know,
00:27:32
Speaker
sitting on the couch with a tablet or something like that. You want to talk about memories to shape kids? Our punishments versus what our fucking kids get. Remember how your dad beat your ass when you fucked up as a kid? Now you beat your kid's ass and like you get a call from the teacher. Did you spank your kid? Yeah, I fucking spanked my kid. They're a little shit.
00:27:51
Speaker
Like, dude, we learn to respect adults. And if we didn't, there was fucking fear. And we carry those memories the rest of our life. Kids today, do they have no fear.
00:28:04
Speaker
Because they don't get punished and they don't have the memories of when you are an asshole, there are consequences. I dealt with that shit all the time as a cop. And I'm like, man, have you just... And then then you meet the parents and you're like, they've never been punished.
00:28:18
Speaker
yeah Yeah. I mean, kids today are just, especially after fucking COVID. Like my wife tells me horror stories from school and how these kids act. It's just insane. But couples no you guys touch yeah couple of things you guys touched on, you know, sparked some ideas in my mind.
00:28:34
Speaker
Caleb, I love how you brought up like rocket power. And you know, for me, I i feel like i especially now as I'm older with money, i live in nostalgia, my entire, like my hobbies, my like everything I do is clinging to like things that I enjoyed in the past or didn't get to fully experience, but like got a taste of and just like having the, the means to do it is fucking awesome. Yeah.
00:29:02
Speaker
But yeah, even just the the shows we used to watch as kids and the, like, Mac, you're, you know, completely against technology. i I mean, I still have fond memories, like, of doing both, like, playing outside and being able to, like, play PlayStation 2 or, you know...
00:29:21
Speaker
the the first Halo game. And it's like, i I had a healthy mix of both. And it's like, these kids today just don't have a shot because, you know, as infants, they were fucking handed tablets, like shoved in their face from the moment they're born because the parents don't feel like hearing them cry and just want to shut them up.
00:29:38
Speaker
And it's like, they're not, you know, we were the last generation to have that moment before the internet and before everything took over, like smartphones and all this shit. Like,
00:29:49
Speaker
That's why I look so fondly back at my childhood and like the things we got to experience, even just watching like old commercials and like the toys we used to play with and, you know, the shows we watch. Everything is different now. And it's such lower quality.
00:30:02
Speaker
You even look at like, um you know, look at fast food chains and businesses in general and the personality that they used to have. Like you look at a McDonald's from the nineties or like a KFC or Wendy's and the buildings, the buildings used to look so fucking cool and exciting.
00:30:20
Speaker
And now they strip them of all their personality and everything is like this sleek, like businessy look. And it fucking like, what is with our drab world? Like what happened to fucking easy discovery zone and fucking all this other shit where it's,
00:30:34
Speaker
you know You go to the McDonald's ball pit and there's fucking needles in the fucking ball pit. What happened to that? i used to die for change in the ball pit. Did you bring it up PlayStation 2? All right, we're going on a weird tangent here. We're going to do a couple more little small tangents, and we're going jump back into the topic here. But I had a TV with a turn knob on it that, like, you turned it on with the turn knob, and then, like, that's also the volume button. So, like, you turned it up.
00:31:03
Speaker
Like, so like... N64, dude. N64 was my jam. Brother, bring it back. You can buy a new one. that's that's That's what I saw the other day was that they're going to bring back ah and a digital version of N64 with Mario games. Super Mario Brothers? Let's do it. um i'm gonna lose my mind that's boy you can get it for the switch you can buy the n64 yeah but i i need i need the n64 controller like i need the the the tri-grip controller crazy ass no you can you can buy that they have a the dildo looking thing yeah fucking vibrator style and sixty four with the fucking spot for your finger yeah well g spot as a knob yeah you know that's why ninety babies are good at what we do
00:31:51
Speaker
Oh my God. No, you didn't. No, you didn't. but I mean, look at this, guys. Look at this. I got a modded fucking team boy. Dude, that's what I love.
00:32:01
Speaker
It's fucking sick, right? A German guy did it. After the episode, I need to get the details on that because I've been wanting a way to play Pokemon, like an OG red or yellow version. yeah. Yep, I got you. I need that back.
00:32:13
Speaker
Yep, I got you. All right. let's ah Let's circle back, though. All right. So we've kind of talked through why these and memories are important to us. Yeah. what our memories were, let's talk to um why it's important we try and make future memories, whether it's even solo memories, but why it's important to try and have those moments that are that are near and dear to your heart, right?
Creating Future Memories
00:32:37
Speaker
um What do you think that does for the psyche and just the happiness when you when you when you're able to to make one of those core memories? Well, shoot, look at us right now. Just look at the happiness it just brings the four of us, even just hearing each other's core memories that we have from the past. I mean, seeing that in our children, you know, to hope maybe one day they'll be on a podcast talking about the memories they shared with with us as their fathers, you know, or like listening to this podcast as a... Because that's something I think about here. rob I'm leaving my myself or my children, you know, when they get old enough to listen to this, this will hopefully be a memory that they can look back upon themselves. But I just, I think looking at you guys share these, these details in your lives, you know, things that we maybe never talked about with each other, but I think it's important because they bring us closer together too, because there's a lot of similarity and a lot of cross ah parallel lines.
00:33:29
Speaker
Yeah, I'm going to jump in here. I know I've been doing a lot of talk about I'm a jump in before anybody else goes. um So like I said, my my dad passed when I was 27. There's like a ton of shit I don't even know about him, right from not being able to have an adult to sit conversation, right? He, he died before my kids were born. So I couldn't ask him parenting shit.
00:33:50
Speaker
You know what I mean? I he all sorts of things I couldn't have conversations with him about. So I found on Amazon, it's it's like a family keepsake journal, and there's one address to mom and one address to dad.
00:34:03
Speaker
And it's a it's a father's guided journal to share his life and his love that can be passed down. So I got this like leather bound one, and it's it's like 100 pages apart. prompted questions and like places to like answer with paragraphs and things like that so bramin if you're wanting to leave that that that memory for him would suggest this dude i got one of those for my mom i've seen those yeah want to get one yeah yeah it's a really awesome idea all right back on topic sorry you're good dude all right so the importance of making future memories
00:34:38
Speaker
Well, think even for us, the importance of making future memories, like if if you look over in the sidebar chat there, Brandon's ready to make that memory of skydiving. I know tyler is not on board, but everybody else is here.
00:34:50
Speaker
For our listeners, we're we're wanting to do an in-person podcast recording. going first off the fucking door. later this year and we're gonna try and get Tyler up in an airplane with a parachute on his back. You're never in 10 trillion years getting me in a... You can't even get me in a normal airplane right now because of all the fucking airplane mishaps. Then you want me to jump out of one? Then want me to jump out of one.
00:35:15
Speaker
I'm chloroforming you, buddy. i got you. I'm going wake up in the fucking air. Falling. It's okay. It's not kidnapping if you are there voluntarily. You cannot pay me $10 trillion dollars to do that.
00:35:29
Speaker
You're a fucking idiot. I would do it for a dollar. Actually, I'm paying to go on the trip, which means I'm doing it at my own cost. I will happily wait on the ground for you guys and you know be there with whatever kind of pleasures you're looking for. Proceed!
00:35:45
Speaker
A beer or a fucking Marlboro Red. Whatever your your pleasure is, I'll be there with a big smile on my face sky and welcome you to the ground. But I am not going up there.
00:35:58
Speaker
Just means you don't get to partake in the tattoos of the day. yeah Yep, yep. um yeah You gotta jump to get the tat. Just gonna put a target on him. The importance of future memories. I'm gonna pee.
00:36:09
Speaker
Okay, the importance of future memories. I think they're milestones. dude I think they're they're milestones and they're mile markers in life, right? Everybody's taking a road trip.
00:36:20
Speaker
You pass so a mile marker, you pass an exit sign, whatever it is, I think that's what they are in life. They're they're good memories, they're bad memories, but they' but they're time stakes from you know your birth to your death.
00:36:35
Speaker
There are things that you can look back upon and find happiness. There's there's things you can look back upon and find sorrow. There's things that, you know. So I think that's really why making memories are important. If you just went through life and didn't do or experience anything that was substantial or stuck out in your brain, like, what are you doing?
00:36:55
Speaker
You know what I'm saying? Not taking a risk. Yeah. is Is that a life worth worth living, you know? are you just on autopilot? like Could you imagine? like just You wake up, you drive to work, you go home, you you warm up a TV dinner, you wake up, you drive. like Idiocracy style. People are scared of the bad memories. yeah I think you get scared of the bad memories. I think you get punched in the mouth enough and get knocked out enough. You get exhausted.
00:37:22
Speaker
so i think that's And then you keep replaying those in your head. and I think that's where the... wake up, do it just over and over and over because it's safe. And it's bad memories tend to take over good memories. So if you've had nothing but your ass cake for the last six months, but I think it's hard for people to come out of that. And they two years prior when maybe that's something good, maybe they were at a bar and the hottest girl in the bar came up talked to them I don't fucking know.
00:37:50
Speaker
But They forget about that because the last six months have been nothing but losses and ass whoopings. And I think that's exhausting. I think that's the benefit. I think that's, I think that's why you have to make the good memories when you're in the good times. Cause that's how you got the way back out.
00:38:06
Speaker
And I think you had to take those bad memories as lessons. Not every, like, yeah, shit sucks. But like, if bad shit happens, there's a lesson in every bad thing. There's a lesson in every good thing.
00:38:17
Speaker
And I think if you start looking at that way too, like I think you improve your outlook on things and that helps you get out of those ruts of going, all right, shit, and this is safe. I'm just going to do this for a while.
00:38:31
Speaker
And then I think you you can take do that, but take those times to go, why did I get punched in the mouth? What what what happened in sitting and reflecting on all of those or,
00:38:43
Speaker
and reflecting on good times. how When I was how that whatever age and I was living my best life, what was i doing that made me happy? And just, I think those kinds of things can help you. i think that's the importance of reflecting and recalling your memories.
00:38:57
Speaker
There's this kind of learn from them. There's this quote in True Detective, spoken by woody harrelson that sticks out in my mind favorite season oh season one it it's there's no question don't even talk to me about fucking season four season four is an abomination but anyway i didn um this quote that woody harrelson says always sticks out my mind and i always think back to the gonna try to do my best woody harrelson impression here he says you know the good years when you're in them or just wait for them until you get ash cancer and realize that the good years came and went It's like we we never realize when we're going through like the good times because we're constantly moving into the future.
00:39:36
Speaker
and the like We always misconstrue what the present is. We don't appreciate the present for what it is. We're always thinking of the past or we're looking to something in the future, but we get caught up and we're not taking advantage of the now.
00:39:53
Speaker
Yeah, i like that. Yeah. And that's something got to remind yourself of. You got to actively engage yourself in it. Something I've been trying to do lately when I'm starting to get stressed, because a lot of times my stress brings out like my bad mood or anxiety.
00:40:07
Speaker
some kind of negativity or fear, hesitation to do something, try something new. I just, uh, no, I remind myself to have some grace just for the moment or the person, whatever I'm dealing with, like have some grace and appreciate maybe things from another perspective.
00:40:28
Speaker
And it's kind of been helping me lately. Whose cat is that? Is that yours, man? That's the girl's cat. Yeah. No, it's your cat. Don't blame it on the girls, bro. That's your cat. and Yep. Cat daddy. That's fucking annoying. Cat daddy. Cat daddy.
00:40:44
Speaker
No, yeah. Showing yourself grace or even others in a moment of, like, troubling times is is very important, dude. Like, very important. There's, like, 12,000 feet of grace when you jump out of an airplane.
00:40:57
Speaker
A long time to pray before you hit the bottom. There's so many other activities. long time to reflect. Why does it have to Like what? Reverse bungee jumping. We can climb a mountain. We gotta go on a boat for like four days. No, I'm not going on a boat either.
00:41:11
Speaker
I got some bad fucking memories with Yeah, and I was- Because we talked about going swimming with the sharks. Sounds fucking awesome too. But no, you gotta to get on a fucking boat to get in the cage to go down with the Great Whites. Fucking a lot of work.
00:41:22
Speaker
Reverse bungee jumping. Let's do it. What is reverse? Oh, where it shoots you into the sky? but was it I had to engineer there for a little bit. of What are you talking about?
00:41:35
Speaker
No. It's getting strapped into a slingshot, dude. Yeah. I don't know about that one. All right. So what is, so this, this is a men's tailored podcast.
00:41:47
Speaker
What is the man's role in fostering and guiding yourself or a group of people, family, friends, memories? like Do you think we have any responsibility for ensuring that our children grow up with good memories, ensuring that our our spouse has great memories of our relationship, of ensuring that like the boys, right, that we have have good memories?
00:42:13
Speaker
Tyler, I remember one of your one of your favorite series. One of your favorite series is Entourage. And to me, that show is nothing but a group of friends and one of them is leading their life at any given moment into a new memory.
00:42:28
Speaker
Right. Like that's that's what that shows premises. It's it's it's about making memories. like So I do think we I think that ah we as men have a responsibility to help.
00:42:39
Speaker
Make memories. Not that it's a gender specific role, but I do think it's it's something that like we should we should lean in on. Yeah, I don't think it's like gender specific or like father, mother specific on like who needs to take the reins. But I think we as men should make a conscious effort to cultivate memories for those around us. we We have so much wealth of knowledge and skills and memories ourselves and different things that drive us that we can impasse and impart on other people that I think, especially as like being a father, you are able to make things special for, you know, your your wife, husband, if you roll that way, your kids.
00:43:28
Speaker
Um, you know whoever Whoever your family is, you're you're able to take the reins a bit and cultivate that. Dude, that's for sure, man. But there's also, i mean, and I've, and I know I've been, ah I've done this before. I've been, the I've been the, the person that made the bad memory when it should have been a good one. I've let my either like social anxiety or something like that dictate my mood in a crowded area, which could ah which turned a fun time into a pretty cruddy time for some people, you know? So I think we, we need to check ourselves too, when we're making those memories, like we need to look at the the situation as well.
00:44:05
Speaker
i don't know if any of you guys ever struggle with that or not, but, I know I've been there and to help make good memories for my family, I've had to check myself on that, on that level. the Like Max said, be present, show up.
00:44:17
Speaker
think if you remind yourself to show up in the moment, then you don't have to worry or stress yourself about making a memory for them. You just have to be present. And um mean, those are lessons we have to learn.
00:44:29
Speaker
Lessons we have to learn. Things we have to fail at a couple of times. Things we have to miss out on because we're not present. And When that starts to happen and you realize it, and that's when you start showing up.
00:44:42
Speaker
That's when you start being present and being actively engaged. And I think that's where you make the memories. I don't think you need to put pressure on yourself to lead them into having and giving them good memories. Memories are lessons too. So if they're bad memories, you just got show up for the bad too.
00:44:59
Speaker
Not everything's good. so you I think if you're you just have like i don't know you just gotta to show up and be there, be present, and the rest will work itself out. yeah I don't know. I feel ah i feel a better responsibility to like cultivate my kids' memories. like i won But if you show up as a dad and you show up as a man, you're going to fishing. You're going to show up.
00:45:21
Speaker
and you're taking them with you. ah You're fixing the car and they're asking what's going on, because you're one of the best mechanics I fucking know. yeah Just by you doing you, you're gonna give them those memories.
00:45:33
Speaker
I don't disagree. I'm not discrediting that, but I do more than that, right? Like I try and make the memory. Yeah. Vacations and shit like that. Exactly. Vacation shit like that. But are you focused on the memory there?
00:45:47
Speaker
are you focused on giving your child a life? are you are you folk When you make a vacation, you go, man, I want my kids to remember? Or do you go, in the moment, I want my kids to have fun and enjoy this.
00:46:02
Speaker
And I want my spouse to have fun and enjoy this. Are you worried about them remembering it 20 years down the road? Or you worried more or less they... Love it and enjoy it right then and there.
00:46:13
Speaker
A little bit of both. A little bit of both because i i it's not just vacations. like I push the edge on vacation, right? like Those crazy ziplining rides that like have a height requirement, like I'm like lifting car setting up. like You're going to ride this shit at three and you're going to have a blast. And she does, right? like like it's It's not just taking the vacation. It's like my kid ziplined over a lake at Okoboji or over the riverfront in Branson.
00:46:39
Speaker
or like even vacations that aren't that don't seem or sound super overly fun right we took and if any of these people are listening i'm sorry but like the the idea did not sound great to me but tara's two brothers and us and all like eight of the kids and their mom like packed into an airbnb or one airbnb and did a family vacation like that vacation was planned like I was not overly joyed, but like I knew that my children would have fun and have memories of like being in a house with eight cousins and catching frogs and things like that.
00:47:16
Speaker
So like I put, I put my shit aside to make sure that happened. Right. Like, so i think i think i think 100 agree that the memories will come so organically if you are a present father or a present husband but i do think there's a little bit of effort as well that has to go into it and it's it's sucking down and biting the fucking you know the the hard swallowing the hard pills and like some things you're not going to personally enjoy or tyler right like you might sit sympathize with this like some times we're just in shit moods and like It might be a great fucking place and it should be a great time and you're there. But like, man, something might have happened that just brought up anxiety, depression or just a shit mood, dude. Like, i don't know. I think I think there is a so a portion of making memories that is not organic. And, you know, you have to still facilitate that as the as the dad, as the the father. Like, I don't know.
00:48:08
Speaker
I think it's just being conscious of trying to cultivate that. Like you don't, it's a little bit of mix of being in the moment, just trying to enjoy the moment with friends or family or you even yourself.
00:48:20
Speaker
And partly you can look at it and say like, I just know like this is going to be something that we'll always remember. Like you couldn't plan a trip to the fucking Grand Canyon and say like, I know we're always going to remember this, you know?
00:48:34
Speaker
Just as an example, like there's there are certain things that you might do that you're going to know is going to leave a lasting impression. You know, the one thing I remember about going to what's the one in Florida is it Disneyland or World down there? World.
00:48:47
Speaker
World. It snowed. Land's in l L.A. Really? Yeah, it snowed in Florida. We went on spring break and the one thing I remember the most is it snowed. We were down there in April. Like, coming back, I just remember getting caught in a snowstorm.
00:49:00
Speaker
but I mean, those are some of the fun ones. Like, sometimes it's the it's it's the trip getting there, too, you know? Like, you remember getting a flat tire and being stuck on the side of the road for five hours, you know? Yep. Because didn't have a spare.
00:49:12
Speaker
Absolutely. Disney was such an anxiety trip for me. Same, bro. anywhere in florida is an anxiety trip yeah like the the money associated with the the crowds the going with a five-year-old and a three-year-old and making sure that the the waiting in long lines doesn't it distract from the experience that they're getting right it just disney was an anxiety trip to me so like a lot of me stressed like the disney trip instead of like but everything went smooth i mean it was great the kids love it carson talks about the damn avatar ride all the time and They both got scared shitless on the dinosaur ride, and they got to meet their Disney princesses. like They loved it.
00:49:50
Speaker
But it just like that's one of those ones, like in the moment, like there wasn't... like Looking back, it was pressed it was a great memory, but like in the moment, I did not. in the In the way that I probably should have, and like that's too bad. like Looking back, I had a great time, and I'm glad it went he did. I would do it again.
00:50:07
Speaker
Yeah. oh I think we've touched on some good things here. I'm really curious to see what our quirky closeout is for today. All right. we got to We got a preface.
00:50:19
Speaker
We got a ah homework to the quirky closeout. Who all has played fantasy football? Me. Once. Yes. Okay.
Fantasy Football and Conclusion
00:50:28
Speaker
All right. In what round do you prefer to take a quarterback?
00:50:33
Speaker
That is our quirky closeout because I'm going to judge all of you folks real hard. Fourth. Depends on the quarterback. False. I don't like that, Mac. I don't like that at all. Mac probably chooses my own first fucking round.
00:50:45
Speaker
No, he's not your he's not a fantasy guy. So running back is where your money's at. running backs and wide receivers for at least the first fucking three, if not four.
00:50:56
Speaker
And then I'm choosing the quarterback. It all depends when people, when other people start picking all the good quarterbacks. That's when you, it depends on who I get at running back. If I get, what yeah, where you got fucking Derrick Henry. Dude, I've only, I've only done fantasy once. And that was with you guys back in.
00:51:14
Speaker
I think it was around me is sound like five or six. Yeah, so that's that's that's about the sweet spot from what most people will say. That's where I'm at, round four to six in that area.
00:51:27
Speaker
tyler Tyler, I'd agree with you. It depends on if you've got some novices playing that, like, oh, I'm going to take Jalen Hurts second. You're like, got to get one before the idiots pull him.
00:51:39
Speaker
But... Yeah, I'm a I'm a I have seen a shift in fantasy football strategy. I used to be running back, running back, running back and wide receivers.
00:51:51
Speaker
But with the way the league is passing the last five years and everybody wants to be my homes, wide receivers make you more dollars than running back. So I go WR WR then a running back.
00:52:03
Speaker
And depending on what receivers are asking. Depending on the tight end, bro. That's the other thing. I group Kelsey, not this year, previous year's Kelsey, and some other tight ends as receivers. They score as many points.
00:52:18
Speaker
i got to I had Kelsey one year, like three years ago, when he went off the fucking chains. I had him that year. and he was he was one of my He was the biggest point scorer. He was yeah wild. Dude, I get plagued by injury every fucking year, and it's usually my first-round pick.
00:52:34
Speaker
like I get very fucking unlucky, and then I'm scrounging in the fucking waiver wire, like trying to see who I can pull out of nowhere. but Dude, I'll go a third round on a quarterback if I've got a fucking solid receiver and a solid running back.
00:52:49
Speaker
Dude, my intern, he played in a 29-person league at his frat. 29-person league. My man was like picking up backup quarterbacks when injuries were going down. like Backups to backups. I was like, what do you how do you even play this league?
00:53:06
Speaker
he's an intern. Eh, he's make a lot of money one day. He's smart. He's smart. I won't discredit him. Fantasy f***ing rages. Are we going to get a league going? I've only done it once. I think I've played twice in my entire life.
00:53:18
Speaker
I've been doing like three leagues a year. I won my Firehouse League ah last year. I do two to three leagues a year. One of my leagues has gotten pretty hefty buy-in. It's a $200 buy-in. Holy shit. The most I've done was a buy-in, and i won.
00:53:34
Speaker
o there you yeah I took the Packers in what? two thousand When they won the Super Bowl last. 2012, I think is what it was. and i won We did it in just the playoffs. I took them all the way and I won like 900 bucks.
00:53:47
Speaker
There you go. All right, Vince. It's been a good one. This is the 10th episode for the listeners out there. This is a memorable episode for the listeners out there. So keep listening. Keep sharing.
00:53:59
Speaker
Even if you listen one time and you don't like it, just follow us. Help us with the algorithm. Do us a favor. We're just four regular guys trying to get some visibility. Love you guys.
00:54:10
Speaker
Love you too. Love y'all. Later. Later.
00:54:19
Speaker
Good morning, Jens