Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Episode 24: The Art of Doing Nothing
18 Plays24 days ago
On this episode, the guys discuss the importance of rest, what everyone does to decompress, and how to have a healthy balance of productivity and relaxation.
Good Morning, Gents! This is a podcast hosted by four Marine Corps veterans with the goal of uplifting men to be the best version of ourselves. In an age of high rates of suicide and depression, especially in the male population, we are taking a stand. This is a place that will cover all of the challenges and realities that we face in the current world, and how we can break down barriers to betterment for ourselves, our families, and the world.
A tragic suicide of our friend sparked an idea and experiment for us as we rekindled our friendship: A group text where we say "Good Morning" to each other every single day, and continue the conversation about what is going on in our lives, be there for one another, and spread positivity and reassurance. Men bear so much weight of responsibility in society that it is hard for men to have an outlet to express themselves. This has attributed to the vast number of suicides in the male population. We aim to cut those numbers down with this podcast. Between the discussions our hosts will talk about, and the guests we bring onto the show, we invite you to join us on this journey towards self-betterment for all.
Email: Goodmorninggentspd@gmail.com
Recommended
Transcript
00:00:07
Speaker
Good
Introduction and Theme
00:00:08
Speaker
morning, gents.
00:00:13
Speaker
Good morning, gents. Man, oh man. We are here. We're all a little bit tired, which is right on cue with tonight's topic. Tonight's topic, however you want to partake in this episode.
00:00:25
Speaker
Been a few weeks. Life is busy. Summer is rolling. I'm staring at some sleepy faces, some drinky faces. we We're about ready to have a good time tonight.
00:00:37
Speaker
Doing not a lot.
Brando's CDL Course and Family Update
00:00:39
Speaker
Brando, how you been? How's school? Going through some training right now, right? Yeah, I've been on my CDL course. Going for my class A. Give my wife a break from being a nurse here.
00:00:51
Speaker
She's due in October with second little girl. Let her kind of stay at home. I finish home for this Friday. I'll have my license. I take my final test this Friday at noon. Wish me luck there.
00:01:02
Speaker
Then I'm going to be going out to Washington for some work. been back home for a week and going from there. Gotcha. I think the question from the viewers is, are we going to have a sick call sign like rubber duck or something?
00:01:16
Speaker
Six calls. I got a handle out there or something. Yeah, man. What are we thinking? Tyler, should should should we brainstorm this? Or should we should we put it to the masses and see if there's any suggestions of people?
00:01:28
Speaker
I don't know. I think we should just call the dude. The dude. Yeah. I can i get behind that. me start saying the famous one-liner. There's so many cuss words, dude.
00:01:41
Speaker
The fuck you talking about?
00:01:46
Speaker
What about
Tyler's Bachelor Party Adventure
00:01:47
Speaker
you, Tyler? How's it going? you' had a You had a bachelor party to a place that I didn't even know had casinos, bro. Connecticut? Yeah, Mohegan Suns in Connecticut.
00:01:58
Speaker
What is that about? They got the reservation, man. but Talk to me about them engines. Talk to me about Mohican sons, bro. I thought you were in Vegas. Well, Vegas was my bachelor party, but ah my friend who officiated my wedding, it's his bachelor party that we went to.
00:02:16
Speaker
This man is a degenerate gambler like you've never seen. and He had stuff scheduled for one single day of this bachelor party, and we were there for four days.
00:02:29
Speaker
The rest of the time was just straight gambling. and me and him hit the roulette tables and fucking killed it. I've never...
00:02:40
Speaker
gone gambling and come back like with gains. I've only ever lost money. And I made about $2,000 just fucking playing roulette, like hitting the table hard.
00:02:55
Speaker
um I kind of followed the system that he built of his strategy. And we kind of went from there. He walked away with like probably like five, six grand.
00:03:06
Speaker
So, I mean, it was a it was honestly a great weekend. um Other than that, just same old shit, man. Work, um trying to finish up summer, and hopefully ah cooler weather is among us pretty soon because I'm going nuts at work. It's like today was just insanely humid, and it's like even wearing...
00:03:31
Speaker
half of the turnout gear, you're just fucking drenched. Like, just it feels so disgusting. So i can't wait for cooler weather. um Everything's pretty good, though.
00:03:43
Speaker
Things are going well. Would
Work Exhaustion Experiences
00:03:44
Speaker
you say you're tired after a day like today? Yeah. I mean, even not doing too much. Like, we we had a steady call volume, but... And today was like an overtime shift that I took.
00:03:55
Speaker
um We had steady call volume, but it was like... We didn't do anything too crazy, like too labor intensive. And it's just the heat just drains me.
00:04:06
Speaker
And, you know, that, but between that and waking up at five, like I'm very tired right now. And it's what, almost 10 p.m. Like I'd be going to bed in probably 30 minutes if we weren't doing podcast.
00:04:19
Speaker
You sound like old men. Oh, man, i you guys know I jumped on a little late here because I was i fell asleep. Yeah. and so How you been? Kept you guys.
00:04:31
Speaker
I'm surprised you even woke up for it. The wife woke me up there we go out of the kid's bed and said, hey, your podcast started. Good old Tara. Yeah. Did my.
00:04:42
Speaker
Fast feet, shuffle downstairs, dig everything out, get set up, and, like, you guys weren't started. I'm good, man. um I'm tired like Tyler and tired like you probably too,
Embracing Doing Nothing
00:04:54
Speaker
Brandon. then We look like shit, man.
00:04:56
Speaker
Well, I mean, that's why tonight's topic is so pure. So pure. All right, listeners.
00:05:07
Speaker
Tonight's topic is The Art of Doing Nothing and Not Feeling Like a Bum. yeah yeah um Absolutely. all right. We all like to talk shit on each other of like, i you don't do shit or, you know, talk shit on somebody that just lays around the house and does nothing.
00:05:23
Speaker
But sometimes we need that. Sometimes we need that rest. Sometimes we need that just mental dump or lack of stimulus, even if you're not actually sleeping. And that's kind of what we want to talk about tonight is just having those days where productivity comes to a halt and you kind of do nothing, whether that's sleep or veg out on the couch or whatever it may be. um You know, there's a lot of value to it. We'll kind of talk on some of the values of it. And obviously there's some downfalls, right? Like you don't get shit done, but ah that's not tonight's focus. Tonight we're going embrace nothing and we're going to live in it and love it.
00:06:00
Speaker
So, All right. Our first kind of part here. Can you guys think of a time where you did nothing and like shit didn't go right because you did nothing? And it's kind of funny now. Like, like, man, like I definitely like just vegged out on the couch and missed my cousin's wedding kind of night or like something to that effect. you have any of those experiences where like you you had something you had to do, but like motivation lacked and you just ended up in this spot where like man Let it go.
00:06:34
Speaker
I mean, I can't think of any like specific examples of that, but it's definitely happened. Oh, yeah, for sure. i'm I'm with you. I can't think of a specific like, like, like my cousin's wedding kind of thing. me But more so it's like, I've had those days where I wake up and I'm like, okay, I'm gonna mow the lawn.
00:06:52
Speaker
I'm going to get this done, this done, yeah this done. And like, I even timeline it. I'm like, yeah, I can knock this out and be back for, you know, a football game or sleeping in, you know, two hours of scrolling and ESPN later. And i'm I'm still not out of bed. And like, I'm so in the zone that I don't even eat. Like I'm just in bed, like doing nothing.
00:07:13
Speaker
yeah. Yeah, that's that's more typical for me. is like after The day after I work at 24, I find myself – have a list of things that I want to get done. like I want to go to the gym.
00:07:29
Speaker
I got you know house chores to do. i got you know things in the lawn I want to do. yada yada yada I want to work on my script and it's like I waste at least three to four hours just sitting on the couch like or in bed because I'm so burnt out that I like i need this fucking rest like I want it so bad and it takes up half the day and then I don't get anything done that I was
The Importance of Rest
00:07:58
Speaker
trying to get done and I feel like shit for it but it's like I realize like I need this
00:08:03
Speaker
I need to decompress. It's hard to plan that while accounting for rest. You know, I can honestly say that i don't think I've rested, but I've wanted more sleep, like on a day of duty or something. Like, you go too hard in another country, and then you got to sit in some computer for like 12 hours, stay up for 24 hours on a Saturday. Like, I've been late for duty once, my first duty station, because I was too tired.
00:08:28
Speaker
And I wasn't even were drinking the night before. i was just tired. So, yeah. I like the caveat. No alcohol was involved. i had you I had to throw that off. A lazy PFC. Yeah, I can't really think of any, but it's just comical to think about sometimes. It's like the grand plan of things, and then you look at the clock you're like, what the fuck happened?
00:08:53
Speaker
Have you ever taken a nap? So this is kind of like, in have you ever taken a nap so hard in the day? Like after you've been working so hard, you think it's the next day when you wake up and people play into it and just like.
00:09:06
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, absolutely. I've taken those naps where you wake up and like the last time you had your eyes open, the sun was coming up. And the next time it's like, it's going down and you're you're not sure if you're at dusk or dawn anymore. And you're like,
00:09:17
Speaker
Oh man, it's like that was a quick 15 minutes and you look over and it's like 2100. You're like, fuck, that wasn't 15
00:09:26
Speaker
You'll wake up in a pool of sweat and like, oh my gosh, I was cooking last night, baby. was solid. and then And then sometimes I hit that, you rest too hard because you wake up and it's evening time and you're like, wow, can't go back to bed. That's fun.
00:09:42
Speaker
All right.
00:09:45
Speaker
that's fun all right So let's kind of pivot here. We feel guilt around it sometimes though, right? Like sometimes you feel guilty for not getting things done. Sometimes you feel guilty for sloughing off responsibilities that, you know, as men we have.
00:10:00
Speaker
Sometimes you did. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes we get guilt tripped. Is that what you said? Yes. Yep. Sometimes we, sometimes we get to get forced upon us.
00:10:11
Speaker
Yeah. Even when we weren't feeling that guilty. Why do you think that is? Why do you think that is ah is a culture of men, right? i see it all the time. Ladies will, like, openly brag about it. Like, I woke up on a Saturday and I didn't do nothing. And then I went out with my girls and, like, and I'm going to do it again on Sunday. I'm going to get, you know what I mean? Like, that that's that's an open brag. Yeah.
00:10:36
Speaker
for men though like you tell another you tell another guy like you're having conversation with the guys on on the name in the neighborhood and like you know it's like i mowed my lawn and i built a brick wall and i made a fence and then you're like i did nothing like and you feel shame like you're like you're like fuck me man like i did nothing like you just skip over me but yeah yeah like you make something up i was i was busy to like I don't know. why Why do you think that is a a something that we feel kind of guilt or shame about, is about actually taking that rest when really, at the end of the day, the world didn't burn because we did it?
00:11:15
Speaker
I think as men... We are, i don't know if it's the stereotype or like the the idea that we put on ourselves as men or like in society of like what we expect men to do.
00:11:31
Speaker
But, you know, when you talk as an adult to other adult men, you you talk about like these home projects and like things of production, right?
00:11:44
Speaker
Like how handy am I? And everybody kind of like tries to one up the other person of like, oh, like I'm doing this around the house. Like I i fucking did an addition on the home and I fixed the yard up and blah, blah. blah bla blah Like everybody has these home projects they talk about.
00:12:04
Speaker
And I think that's just kind of like a societal role that we've placed upon ourselves that like. I don't know if it's like the provider role, but like as men, we we take on that handyman kind of job and like kind of look to be sort of this builder or like this, this productive like engineer of sorts.
00:12:28
Speaker
um And it's like it's not always realistic. um I mean, you can there I know I know there's certainly people who are very handy who can do a lot themselves around the house or like, you know, build stuff themselves.
00:12:45
Speaker
But you're you're not realistically going to be able to do everything yourself. And there's honestly paid professionals who do this stuff for a living that sometimes like. are way more qualified to do it than you are.
00:12:57
Speaker
You know, sometimes people take on these jobs for their own house to like save money on it. And it's like, they do a fucking terrible job and look, man, I should have hired somebody. And it's just like pride got in the way. That's why call Caleb.
00:13:12
Speaker
I do not have any shame to hire professionals to do, to do the job. I don't know, man. i'm I'm at the point in my life, though. i'm It's not a... A lot of the projects aren't like a lack of skill issue. It's a lack of, like, time or lack of motivation to do it. And, like, um I also am under the belief of, like, if I'm making this money, what am I doing with it? Why?
00:13:36
Speaker
I should be spending time with my kids and family, not you know, spending 14 hours and on a Saturday doing X project. Like, there's some things I still enjoy to do, but, like, I'm at the point of, like, I have the money, like, I would rather spend quality time with my family, do do the project out of pride.
00:13:54
Speaker
Like, go I've got a family member who absolutely refuses to hire someone, but, like, I see how many times, you know, their wife posts on Facebook, like, she's out doing something with the kids.
00:14:05
Speaker
Not there. And I'm like... I'm like, like, what value is that? You know what mean? Yeah. Not to say he's, that he's absent. he like, he still spends time with his kids, but like when, you know, three weekends out of the month, he's poured into a project and you know, the kids are out with doing some sort of memorable things gone. Like, right.
00:14:26
Speaker
Like what's the value there? Like, I would rather say I hired somebody and people judge me for hiring somebody to do shit around my house than miss the time with my children. yeah. that that's That's kind of like a I had a mental shift in that um more so in the last like three years of like, fuck that, dude. I'm not spending, you know, ah total of 48, 96 hours on a project.
00:14:50
Speaker
Like obviously not continuous, but like total time invested when I've got two kids that and a wife that, you know, I'd rather spend time with and like make memories. So For sure.
00:15:03
Speaker
You could always wait until they get older and then do projects with them and teach them, you know, when that time comes. But like until then, like, you know, while they're still young, like, fuck it. Spend the time with the family. Just hire somebody to do do the work for you.
00:15:19
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, absolutely, man. That's it's kind of like a fall on this mode. Like when the kids get home, like I might be working on a project. I might be making great pace. I'm like, nope, it gets shut down, dude. Like I shut down the job site and like it's it's family time. and and And a lot of that has to do with like my actual work as well. My time's pretty limited. so I don't let the pride get in the way of me, of me not, or of me doing a project. I can tell you that. Not anymore.
00:15:46
Speaker
I used to. definitely used to. Oh, yeah. I still have some of those things, but I mean, small projects I don't mind taking on, but I'm not redoing a roof. I'm not tiling an entire house again. I can tell that much.
00:15:59
Speaker
My backs. I know my knees are killing with What are like your home projects that like maybe not like things that you're going to do yourself, but just overall, like what are the projects around your home that you're hoping to get done in the next couple years?
00:16:17
Speaker
Because I know I have a lot. Yeah. I can start. I'm turning my basement right now into a master bedroom. And then I'm putting in a shower with a lift pump, probably.
00:16:28
Speaker
going to make master bathroom, master bedroom in the basement. Turn my house into a four bedroom, two bathroom. So the listeners can't see. You muted yourself. That's going to make for a fun edit. Oh, listeners can't see. We can't hear either. The listeners can't see it, but I'm, I'm building a a nice giant set of Florida ceiling built in. So cabinet bases on the bottom bookshelves on top.
00:16:56
Speaker
um i went and got the rest of the wood today and uh i do that on my off days while the kids are school the only other big project i've got on the books and dude it i'm not doing it it's too much work and not something i'm gonna do but i need a lot of concrete work so um my drive was in they put salt on it too soon after it was still when it was still green concrete um uh eroding pretty bad it's chipping away at all the cracks So I need to pour a new driveway. I want a three foot wide sidewalk that that's tight to the house all the way around.
00:17:28
Speaker
Concrete pad ah for my barbecue pits and um ah hot tub and then re-pour the entire back patio. It's a metric fuck concrete and I'm just... Oh yeah, hire that out.
00:17:42
Speaker
i'm not I'm not doing it. i That sounds like a lot. My back hurts thinking about it. I refuse to tear out any of the tear tore out. I'm willing to pay for like the landscaping, though. i'm more than capable but like if you're going to be in here digging out forms with a little mini skin sear anyway, like scoop the rocks and like, we're not, I'm not going to win.
00:18:01
Speaker
But that's about it for my, my projects. But I mean, also I'm in a different setting. i'm in ah a setting now for the first time of my life that I didn't buy a house that needed a ton of work. bought a, like pretty new home, or like a nice home. And like,
00:18:15
Speaker
It's not much to do around here besides like small, very personable things like like a big built in fireplace. But like all all things that are small and personable, it's nothing major overall wise. So I'm not I'm not sweating it. And then I've done a pretty good job of integrating my six year old into helping me. So she makes now Well, today was her first day back at school. But when we make lumber runs, like she helps me sort and teach her different pieces and she brings me pieces.
00:18:45
Speaker
not letting her run power tools for all you listeners out there that are questioning my parenting. She's not messing with saws, but she's bringing me this board or that screw. so That's awesome, man. thats it It's good to get kids involved.
00:18:57
Speaker
You know, as I was thinking about your rest and work and stuff like that. Would you consider fishing work or rest? Depends if you're relying on it to feed your family.
00:19:08
Speaker
I would say it depends on if my family's with me. If the kids are with me, bro, it's work. It is work. I'm chasing children, making sure they're not drowning or hooking each other, keeping bait on their thing, untangling lines.
00:19:23
Speaker
If I'm by myself or with other adults, again, kind of very situational. If we're just on the boat cruising and it's capable fishermen, like I'm good. But like sometimes, you know, on foot chasing some of those back pockets, like...
00:19:38
Speaker
waiting for the reeds like at the end of the day like if i only catch one fish man that's not fucking suck like it wasn't even restful yeah how's that worth it like i could have sat in a chair and caught nothing as well because i look at that sometimes because i do like to offset some of our food here through fishing or hunting You know, and I like to get my kid involved with it. She likes going.
00:20:01
Speaker
wife's not much of but an angler an outdoors woman. ah So, but i kind of find that rest and work out of both of them, depending on what you're doing, you know, it' scouting out some areas or, you know, finding that new fishing hole.
00:20:16
Speaker
Absolutely.
Science of Resting
00:20:17
Speaker
So there's little bit of science behind resting, right? you're those Those periods of rest are kind of combating burnout, fatigue, exhaustion. Is there any sort of rest or or timeout period that you guys know that like, man, when you've hit that wall, like this is what I need. is it just a bed?
00:20:38
Speaker
Is it, is it, you know, like I need a solid ass meal and my couch is, Are you a recliner guy? Are you a hammock guy? Like what? Like what's your what's your sweet spot? What's your happy Gilmore happy place for fucking rest?
00:20:53
Speaker
I mean, I could either go on my couch or my bed, but I like having. So with my smart TV, I open up my YouTube app and I just fucking veg out like watching endless fucking YouTube videos about God knows what like.
00:21:12
Speaker
History stuff, fucking gaming, um fucking movie stuff, like, just so many different topics, and just straight up veg out and stop thinking, and it feels so nice after, like...
00:21:28
Speaker
a long day of work to just be able to shut my mind off and like just watch fucking brain rot, you know? Honestly, for me, the best like rest, I am a, once I'm in bed, it's lights out. I need that. I need that sleep. And it has to be early too. Like I'm up past midnight, i get anxiety and then I don't, it's really weird. I don't know if anybody else struggles with it, but I was watching the clock. Yeah.
00:21:54
Speaker
well I only get four hours of sleep. inspect But I'd say, Dude, I love my back porch. Like, sun starts going down. I just sit out. Well, 11 o'clock, I know it's down up here. But yeah, I can stay out pretty late. You know, that's one thing I'm jealous of. Like, I i always wanted a porch.
00:22:14
Speaker
And I mean, this is my first home. And it's small. And it's not there's not really an opportunity to put a porch. Like, yeah, I could maybe do like a small one. But one day, like, I want that wraparound porch.
00:22:28
Speaker
With the screen, so fucking mosquitoes don't get in. ah You get that nice summer evening breeze and you're just out there on like the glider on the back porch. and Oh, yeah. I'll bring my Switch out there.
00:22:40
Speaker
ah play some Pokemon Sword or something, you know, and just kind of relax. That's my my favorite place is outside on the lawn chair. he yeah. That'll do it. we're we're hitting the We're hitting the season of my favorite rest, bro.
00:22:57
Speaker
My favorite rest. we're We're coming into fall and we're coming into football. there is There is nothing more peak for me than a Saturday morning, wake up, have breakfast, bang out my lawn, right? Like, get out there. Actually, find a little productivity. Knock out my lawn.
00:23:15
Speaker
Because the smell of grass clippings and a nap on the couch to Kurt Herbstreak, you know, calling a football game or watching games... Yeah, game day every Saturday, like peak, peak.
00:23:28
Speaker
I will sit on a couch and do nothing but watch college football from 11 a.m. until 9 p.m. And I won't be tired, but I will wake up the next morning after and feel like a million dollars and like an absolute million dollars. So during football season, my couch is it The rest of the year, honestly, as of lately, it's wherever I lay down.
00:23:52
Speaker
the kids bed the kids floor i laid down in my closet after mowing today and like dozed off woke up i was like shit i gotta shower we got people come over for dinner and like force myself into the shower and i was like no bro those floor sleeves are so nice oh yeah the dog bed the dog sleeping on the dog bed just fucking passing out on the floor so comfy We just got like a brand new, like we have a Linda couch.
00:24:23
Speaker
So ready for like football and fall, dude. i love opening the windows in fall. You get the grass flipping, the fresh grass, like you said. was going to say that sitting on the back porch, dude, just after you mowed the yard in a morning or something.
00:24:36
Speaker
Oh yeah. Fall really is the best ah season in my opinion. Oh, I don't disagree. we can We can weird tangent here because I have a strong argument that October is the greatest month. and I agree.
00:24:50
Speaker
August is my birthday month, but October is the greatest. October is the best, dude. Well, October is my birthday month. Literally, literally every hunting season is open. You can shoot ducks to deer to anything you want during in October.
00:25:05
Speaker
You've got football on, you've got basketball on, hockey, baseball postseason starting. You got Halloween. the only It's the only month in the year that all the major sports franchises are or affiliations are actively on.
00:25:20
Speaker
The weather's enjoyable that you can actually be outside. yeah The food gets better. You start getting into stews and fucking soups and gumbos and jambalayas. Brother, October is peak. It is pinnacle. And if anybody disagrees, we can fight.
00:25:39
Speaker
My birthday is late September, and I've always, like, I mean, my birthday falls on, like, the first day of fall. So, like, it it always rings in fall for me, and I'm like, yeah, I can't wait for October.
00:25:50
Speaker
Bro, Halloween, too? Yep. And I go to New York Comic Con every October also. so Yeah, man. All right. Best moment. I'm glad we all agree. um That's a...
00:26:01
Speaker
And I knew we were friends for a reason. That's great. Honestly, we get the we get the first snow of the year normally in October. so That's a little too early for me. That's insane.
00:26:14
Speaker
It's a little too early for me. All right. So when I think of like do nothing rest, I think of two things.
Types of Exhaustion
00:26:22
Speaker
There's those days where you're just physically smoked.
00:26:25
Speaker
And for me, though those days are best rested through actually sleeping, like physically sleeping. And then there's those days where you are mentally smoked.
00:26:37
Speaker
You're not physically tired, but you you just need to brain rot, to to mentally dump. Do you guys both partake in similar feelings of like, there's some days where like the pillow is is the pillow is your master and like that's that's where you want to spend your time is like eyes closed, actually sleeping and physically resting.
00:26:59
Speaker
And do you have those days where like you're not tired, but like you're exhausted in a different way and like, you need to not think about shit that's hard. Yeah, it's definitely both of those. There's days when like I get zero sleep at the firehouse and I just come home like fucking God, I need sleep.
00:27:15
Speaker
And then there's other days where it's like I feel like I've gotten enough sleep, but I like I need a mental break before I can do anything else. So I just shut my mind off, relax, relax,
00:27:29
Speaker
And just digest like and I mean, even my wife has those moments, too, where she gets off of work and like she just wants to be left alone for an hour or two just to digest. Like, I think that's totally fair and totally OK. And it's like I totally respect that for her. And I would expect the same for me.
00:27:47
Speaker
Everybody needs that kind of space. Which one do you think is a stronger feeling? I feel more exhausted from the mental exhaustion. Yeah, um I guess it depends what I need to do. for Like, if I know that I don't have anything really planned except, like, to do a couple things around the house or whatever, like, then I feel like physical, like, having actual physical rest is more important.
00:28:17
Speaker
um But if I need to do something where I'm, like, really heavily using my mind, then, like... you need that you need that like mental rest you need to be prepared mentally you can't be mentally burnt out for it so i don't know i combine the two way too much i think like it's the mental and the physical like i'm always moving i'm always thinking so it's like it's don't know that's why at night is like i need my sleep i'm i'm a creature of habit yeah i go to bed at 9 30 and wake up at 5 9 to 5 is my sleep window i need that
00:28:54
Speaker
But, you know, the mental shut off is difficult. So like to just sit down and disconnect because I get on myself a lot about, I don't know, I just I can't really think right now of times where I've had it in the past couple of months because I've just been doing a lot of physical labor for the house and family and friends. It's been more physical lately, but I know when I was doing working as a VSO and stuff, it was, I'm people without.
00:29:18
Speaker
You know, I just want my family close by. Let's watch a movie. Let's just disconnect from everybody. ah Everybody else's problem. They'll just worry about us. Yeah. I've had experience recently where I've kind of come to realization that mental exhaustion is more damaging.
00:29:33
Speaker
It's more crippling, I guess I should say. That's that's the word. So like I told you guys the other day, I'd text you like, hey, I'm in a bad run. Like spent 24 hours up, got two hours of sleep and spent 22 hours up, right? Like it was it was rough. So I drove home after that 22 hour day. i got home and i laid down Probably it was like 4.30.
00:29:53
Speaker
And then i got a phone call from one of my crews at 6.30. So by the time I got home, my late it was 4.30. I laid down. by the time I fell asleep, it was probably closer to 5. So like I'd maybe been asleep for an hour, hour and a half.
00:30:05
Speaker
When I woke up... You know, he had a problem that I needed to solve. If he would have handed me a hammer and told me to go break rocks in a prison yard, I could have probably broke rocks for six hours, right?
00:30:17
Speaker
But the the mental problem he had for me to solve, dude, I i couldn't conceptualize anything. i couldn't come up with a solution. Like I ended up like creating a three-way call with my boss and my coworker. And like, I need to assist here because I didn't think like my answer was fuck it.
00:30:35
Speaker
Like forget about what we're doing. And just basically the train was picking up cars. And I was about to tell them to like, don't pick up the cars. Just fucking keep going. like just Like, like, like I don't care about those cars.
00:30:48
Speaker
Like me easiest solution. yeah, Ultimately, there was a better solution for the business. But at the time, I just I couldn't come to it because of where was mentally. You know what i mean? Like physically, I probably could have got up and like worked like, ah you know, like I wasn't fatigued physically.
00:31:06
Speaker
If as long as it wasn't like solving math and cutting and boards, I could have probably, like I said, swung a sledgehammer and busted concrete like easy day. Yeah. So I've, I've come, that's a very recent realization that like mental exhaustion is more crippling, at least for me.
00:31:21
Speaker
um I'm okay with physical exhaustion, like hard things are hard. And I, I'm not a I'm not a very big machismo kind of guy. Like when I'm physically whip, like I'm done, I'm done. Like I'm not going break myself. Like, you know what i mean? So like, but mentally, I don't know when to say I'm done mentally. And that's the hard part.
00:31:43
Speaker
I'd have to agree with you on that It kicked my, especially with that sleep. Oh yeah. Playing tricks on you. Literally. What else we got on this topic of rest? Well, let's kind of circle back to where it were at the very beginning here.
00:31:58
Speaker
Men feel guilt about fucking taking the time,
Overcoming Guilt in Resting
00:32:00
Speaker
right? How do you guys combat that guilt? And, you know, what are some methods that we could probably learn from each other or What are the right ways that we don't practice that we know we should? you know what I mean? like Like, how do how do we how do we, in our own lives, buck the stereotype that men should be right men should be tired? you should ah You should have been tired from doing an X, Y, and Z. That's your role as the man. like how do we How do we build in a guilt-free conscience of taking our time?
00:32:31
Speaker
Maybe we should look at it like we did in the military, man. Sleep when you can. We're not fucking robots. Like we need rest in order to perform. and And that's physical and mental.
00:32:44
Speaker
So you can feel guilty if like you're not feeling very productive and you don't you just don't get anything done. And then like people give you a hard time for, you know, not getting the projects or the things done that you needed to.
00:32:59
Speaker
But you can't get those things done unless you feel up to them. Because if you're just working on 0% energy, like you're never going to be able to do a good job or even be able to do it.
00:33:13
Speaker
So it's like the the rest is important. Like you shouldn't feel guilty for needing to get some energy in you. gotta rest to get the best outcome yeah i think it i think it has a lot to do with yourself personally yeah i i think i think mentally you have to accept like fuck the haters and like it's none of their business right they're not in my shoes they don't know what i'm experiencing or going through and like everybody kind of goes through different different things And the other part of it is setting realistic expectations, right?
00:33:44
Speaker
In our minds, we kind of talked about this. In our minds, we make this plan of like, i'm wake up and do X, Y, Z. And then, you know, I've got 14 step program to complete my day. is that realistic?
00:33:56
Speaker
You know what i mean? Like, is is that truly something youre you feel capable to? Or have you done that for the last six days and like, here we are, you should probably take the break.
00:34:08
Speaker
And instead of planning it and setting yourself up for guilt or setting yourself to let yourself down or or your spouse, right? Like, I don't know how many times I've communicated Tara, like, hey, I'm gonna do in the morning, like, this is what I'm gonna do.
00:34:21
Speaker
And then the morning comes around and I'm just not about it, right? But I don't communicate like that. Hey, I'm not about it. I'm like, oh, I'll get up in a minute. And then two hours later, like I'm not up. And like the the things I told her I was going to get done, don't get done.
00:34:35
Speaker
And I don't think she would be upset if I'm like, hey, like I'm physically checked out. Like I are mentally checked out. Like I need this. I think it's a lack of communication. So I think we don't do ourselves favors there as men as far as like setting expectations and communicating where we are and what we I agree.
00:34:52
Speaker
but i mean, especially in a domestic partnership, aka marriage, you know? in Because, I mean, recently, I just, my wife always is amazing because she's always there to call me out when I'm spreading myself thin, you know? And she...
00:35:09
Speaker
She'll let me know when I'm doing too much for others and where I need to take either rest for myself or tell no to finish something. that I think having a good teammate can look at you, tell you straight without being you know really mean about it.
00:35:24
Speaker
But I just, I get it. Supportive partner is everything. Oh yeah. And whether that be wife, friends, family, boyfriend.
00:35:37
Speaker
boyfriend girlfriend whatever definitely just you need that shaking sometimes just relax and i can honestly say i don't think i've ever judged judged another man for going to bed earlier saying i ain't doing it i'm putting a shovel down today i'm just ditching going to dig itself but i'm not doing it now so i'm i'm with you i've never judged a person for taking their time when they need it i think sometimes in the past i have judged like the person that always takes the time Now that's a different story. That's situational, buddy.
00:36:08
Speaker
That's that person that's like ah grasshopper. That does nothing. Like doesn't work, doesn't do anything. And i'm like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that your day was so stressful. it's It's been the same day you've played video games every day for the last 35 days. Like, I'm sorry.
00:36:27
Speaker
I don't know, But even then, man, like, and think I need to be better about, like, fuck it. It's their shit. Like, it's... Because, honestly, it's it's damaging to everybody when we kind of think that way.
00:36:41
Speaker
Oh, yeah. And it's not our place to judge. Yep. But I'm not saying you won't feel that way. Like, we all do. And I'm sure that person probably felt that way about me.
00:36:52
Speaker
All right. I've got another memory lane one. Think back. And this this will kind of be our last piece on rest. We can do some closeouts. And I'm doing this for a reason.
00:37:03
Speaker
So what can you remember the best nap? Oh, wow. um I can, but there's a caveat because it was followed by the worst experience of my life after the nap.
00:37:21
Speaker
Oh, gosh. what's his name? Yeah. after the afghan deployment i got back to japan and i said i want to just go on the beach and just you know rest in the sun and chill and like you know feel good and just relax so i go on the beach and my pasty ass for whatever reason just wasn't thinking straight And I was just so relaxed, like so happy to be in this peaceful environment of beautiful Okinawa, Japan, sitting on the beach of Naha.
00:37:59
Speaker
And i fucking fell asleep on my stomach. I woke up probably two hours later with straight up boils.
00:38:11
Speaker
but On my back. And it was the worst excruciating pain that I have ever dealt with in my entire fucking life for weeks. I was in tears.
00:38:23
Speaker
And it got to the point, it was so bad, where this one guy who was in my armory, who was kind of like an asshole to me, he even felt bad at how much pain I was in and offered to rub fucking aloe on my back.
00:38:37
Speaker
Because he felt so bad for me. Like... It was excruciating. Like, i mean, I'm a pasty fuck. And you just think of this like insane Japanese heat and this fucking brutal sun. And I was just an idiot and fell asleep like for hours in this heat after just not being exposed like for, you know, a long time and terrible mistake. But the nap itself was amazing.
00:39:09
Speaker
Brando, do you have a, can you call back on a nap that is just like memorable? Oh, I can. And it was a, and I had to be about 12. well ah Jesus.
00:39:20
Speaker
um We were out camping. And I mean, i think we've been out there for five days already. yeah And we'd always do a week out there straight, Sunday to Sunday. From sun up to sun down, it was four wheelers, three wheelers, 120 acres, just always always on the go doing some fishing swimming we're day five into this year and i mean i'm staying up all night i'm sleeping in a tent you know we're out watching the stars with my cousin whatever and i took this nap and this is that one i i will because i i fell asleep at noon woke up at like 6 30 the sun's going down i'm like what happened it's already tomorrow
00:39:58
Speaker
And my whole family started playing the joke on me that it was, yeah, you slept till the next day. And like, dude, they almost, they got me in tears. Like, you could ask my dad. Like, he was the one antagonizing all of it.
00:40:11
Speaker
I come walking out of the camp. Her hair's like stuck out to here on one side. Drools all over my face. He's like, dude, you look like I ran over by a freight train. But that, I'll never forget that, dude. Like, I just went like so hard. Just boom.
00:40:25
Speaker
And like, head hit the pillow. I was out. Woke up, thought it was the next day, and everybody thought it was funny to play the trick on me thinking it was the next day. i but That was honestly the best sleep and nap I ever got.
00:40:38
Speaker
Second best is probably after our mew and I slept with my took a nap with my daughter for that ah that was probably one of the That was my second best. Close first best. I was gonna say, thinking back to the Mew, dude, being on that fucking ship and just getting rocked to sleep every night, just slow, like, feeling like in a baby's crib.
00:40:59
Speaker
Those were actually some really nice sleep. Oh, yeah. I slept like a fucking rock. When we actually didn't have to wake up for anything and they let us sleep in, like, that was amazing. Yeah, I slept like a rock on the boat. ah God, stupid jack.
00:41:13
Speaker
Yeah, the the fucking duties were terrible, but... Tackle hogger. When we didn't have to wake up for anything. What duties? LS. The birthing cleaners. Dude, I honestly didn't mind it when I got out to Africa. It was 12 on, 12 off.
00:41:30
Speaker
You loved your booty. Yeah, this is great. and So i remember mine. Mine's recent. It was year and a half, two years ago. And it was exactly an hour long nap.
00:41:41
Speaker
And I would dare say that it was, i would dare say it would be who of you.
00:41:49
Speaker
um it was the best one hour of sleep in my entire life. i tried one of those sensory deprivation chambers, a float spa. Oh, yeah. Where, you know, it's the highly salinated water and there's no lights. you You shut the light. You shower off. You shut the lights off in the room and then you climb into this capsule and then you shut the fucking capsule and there's no sound.
00:42:12
Speaker
there's There's literally the darkest of dark. And your body is suspended. So there's no fatigue on your, on your body at any point, right? Like you're not laying on a coil spring or in a hammock to where your body's bound or, you know what i mean? There's no pinch points. There's nothing, there's no muscle tension in your body.
00:42:31
Speaker
Dude, I woke up. It took me like six hours to fucking wake up. Like I got in the car and I was like, just zoned out like where am I I feel like I would have been scared in there like I would have had some fucking if you want you can use the little neck float that keeps your head from fucking falling in the water but dude like I put on the like classical music and was fucking toast like I woke up and I'm oh my god it makes me want to like you can get a subscription package that makes me want to like join the three floats a week club. Oh my God.
Final Thoughts on Rest
00:43:10
Speaker
It was amazing. yeah I feel like I would have claustrophobia in there. I did it, but it was just, I got too hot. Dude, I felt perfect. The water was like, what, 90 degrees or something? like Just a smidge below body temperature? like Oh, man, I was it. It was comfortable.
00:43:28
Speaker
Like, I want one in my house. I can see you getting it. All right, so for our listeners, rest is important. Mental rest, that's YouTube scrolling, Instagram scrolling.
00:43:40
Speaker
Masturbation. Whoa. A master physical rest. That's a nap. Is that just laying on your couch and watching TV? Whatever it may be. Don't feel guilty.
00:43:52
Speaker
Partake. Don't overindulge. It's not an every other day kind of event. Because then you're a bum. But don't feel guilty to take that time when you need it.
00:44:04
Speaker
Charge batteries. Yeah, man. but Burnout will kill you faster
Fun Debate: Android vs Apple
00:44:08
Speaker
than anything. All right. So I think we're in quirky closeout. man man Quirky closeout? It's been a minute. Quirky closeout.
00:44:16
Speaker
This one's not quirky. This one's more controversial, opinionated, and... We'll create dividing lines. Are you an Apple user or an Android user? Apple all day.
00:44:28
Speaker
yeah I prefer carrier pigeons. Fuck androids. Fuck the People's Republic of China. I mean, yeah, but Apple's really easy to use.
00:44:39
Speaker
Androids are not pieces of shit. China. China. shame yeah My Android does everything I want it to do and more shit than I want to do. You know what Androids are good for?
00:44:51
Speaker
Roaning group chats where you can't fucking upload photos or videos because they look like fucking potatoes. No, no. See, Apple's good for that. for not See, Samsung and Google and everybody else can do great shit together. Apple's like, me we're we're Apple and we don't want to share. Mm-hmm.
00:45:11
Speaker
I have the S25 Ultra. And I got an S... I got the S24 Ultra, baby. And this thing takes some of the best photos. And me and you can share all day.
00:45:22
Speaker
And I can share with my wife's Google Pixel. But you know what Tyler can't do because his shit is proprietary and only ah incompatible with Apple and Apple bullshit is be a part of the club.
00:45:34
Speaker
ah Can you play Leaf Green? oh
00:45:40
Speaker
All right, guys. Well, it wasn't the longest episode, but we're all tired and we all need some rest. but That's the quirky closeout. I'm hopping right into bed as soon as I fucking get off of this shit.
00:45:54
Speaker
so so wife sleeping I'll edit this episode tomorrow. Good to talk to you guys. Oh, yeah. Love you, boys. alright guys it's later um good to talk you guys ah yeah love you boy um
00:46:13
Speaker
Good morning, gents.