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Episode 72 - A Rambling ADHD Mess
54 Plays1 month ago
Paul and MArtin (ex-mayors of ADHDville) are caught off guard when they have technical difficulties. They forge on in true ADHD fashion, flying by the seats of their pants for this unscripted mess of an episode.
See our beautiful faces on YouTube
Put quill to paper and send us an email at: ADHDville@gmail.com
ADHD/Focus music from Martin (AKA Thinking Fish)
Theme music was written by Freddie Philips and played by Martin West. All other music by Martin West.
Please remember: This is an entertainment podcast about ADHD and does not substitute for individualized advice from qualified health professionals.
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Transcript
Technical Chaos and Podcast Introduction
00:00:00
Speaker
crazily we're back in the room like in the room what kind of we're so flustered over here we're flustered beyond flustered discombobulated so uh with that um something something something about about things about things about other things uh and uh welcome to uh adhdville
00:00:31
Speaker
Disco-operated.
00:00:49
Speaker
so let So for a bit of context, we were just going to record with a guest who we'll have on. um ah i Our would guest, chat ah Jenny Lucas.
00:01:04
Speaker
And we were just ah about to record and then my Mac died. And then it's been like literally 40 minutes of like panicky Mac first aid.
00:01:16
Speaker
um Right. And trying to get this thing going again, which is crazy. And now we had
Embracing Chaos and ADHD Theme
00:01:24
Speaker
to postpone it. It's usually that has the meltdown, the tech meltdown.
00:01:28
Speaker
I know. There's a little bit of me, Martin. I hate to say it. It's a little bit of me by thinking, oh, glad it's not me this time. I know. It's me. And so, ah yeah, so we so we have an an episode with with no guest and no so and no script. So if you're in for something off the cuff, like yeah in true ADHD style, I would say, Mr. Thompson, this is a true ADHD episode where anything goes, there is no script, where we're off the grid. i um The wheels have fallen off.
00:02:06
Speaker
Well and truly, they are dangling. you And we have gone off the cliff in like some sort of like action ah film. Yes.
00:02:18
Speaker
no Not on the cusp, not on the press precipice. No, no. Like Thelma and Louise. yeah Yeah, this podcast has it has gone off the cliff and then exploded on the canyon bottom.
00:02:33
Speaker
Exactly. All right. Well, a good, good, good lead in to me saying, hello, I'm Paul Thompson and i was diagnosed with the ADHD about 16 fucking were months ago. know Martin West and I was diagnosed with the combined ADHD in 2013. And I don't think we have to do anymore because we're not going to give any ADHD advice.
00:02:58
Speaker
Unless you really want to, unless you feel the need to kind of do the next bit. Yeah. ah Well, yeah, let's do it.
00:03:08
Speaker
So we're just two mates who, by coincidence or not, in brackets, after 39 years of friendship, discovered that we're co-EDHDs, who would have thought it? Now, it's really important to say this in this is an inter... But this is... is oh my God.
00:03:26
Speaker
It's so not an entertaining podcast. What is going we on? It's like a full moon or something tonight. Now it's really important to say this is an entertainment podcast about adult ADHD, Martin, and does not substitute for individualized advice from Qualitide health professionals.
00:03:47
Speaker
So don't take any advice from or him.
Humorous Drinking Stories
00:03:50
Speaker
bo him Just here is a kind of all-inclusive ADHD shit show.
00:03:57
Speaker
But there's like but ah like your park bench with room for your best buddies and stuff. Still here? Miracle already. Grab whatever freaking transportation methods do you want and come and join us in a place that we call ADHDville that we've created in our minds.
00:04:18
Speaker
In our minds. In our minds. Where is our mind today? I don't know. Where would we like to explore different parts of the shit show that is called ADHD. Yeah, we start off in our new home.
00:04:30
Speaker
Everything's a struggle. The pub, the ah the King's Attentive Head pub in downtown ADHDville, where we're um where I will have a, well, oh, it's my round oh this week. so um So what are you having, Mr. mr T?
00:04:54
Speaker
I'm going to have, and it's quite ironic actually, Martin, I'm going to have a pint of old peculiar. All right. Which is exactly what I had a pint of.
00:05:05
Speaker
When my first day of working, I'd finished, you know, as as you know, we'll, we'll, we studied together at art school. I got my first job and my first day i was taken by my colleagues to a pub down the road in London It's called the lamb in wherever it is. But no, where is it? Yeah. Around the corner from the British Museum.
00:05:33
Speaker
And um I was I was some plied with three pints of old peculiar. and slept the whole afternoon on my desk.
00:05:44
Speaker
Oh, very nice. That my first day. Old Peculia. So I'll have a pint of Old Peculia. What are you partaking in, Martin? I'll have a pint of the vic Vickers but ah vickers speckled knob.
00:05:59
Speaker
Right. I think, yes. probably It's probably got a good head on it. Oh. Oh.
00:06:07
Speaker
I'm so glad you you you went there, Mr. mr T. Yes, totally. And and and so speaking of going somewhere, let's ah let's all pile into the ah in in into the old tractor.
00:06:22
Speaker
And let's go and have, ah let's not get in the old tractor because I'm just enjoying my my pint. Why am I going off in the tractor anyway? Don't drink and drive.
00:06:34
Speaker
Don't drink and drive, people. Don't drink and drive, especially on a pint of old, what was it? What pint are you having? ah Vicar's Speckled Knob. Right.
00:06:45
Speaker
Yes. Now, after, yeah, even after a sip of that stuff, you don't want to drive. just stay there. Stay in a pub and prop up the bar. Just in case york you're curious, I make up all the beers, all the names of the beers.
00:07:01
Speaker
and They don't actually exist. They're not real beers. ah You can't go into a pub and buy Vickers speckled knob. ah okay or the Or the one that I so suggested a short while back, which was the Abbott's speckled backside or something. I can't remember now.
00:07:21
Speaker
Okay. um I still remember the first time I got drunk was when I i um discovered my my father's secret secret stash of lager beer.
00:07:34
Speaker
okay. And it was a double diamond. Do you remember that? Yeah. so In the mid-80s. So where had he hidden his illicit beer?
00:07:47
Speaker
um In the back of the bar. ball ah Actually, my dad had a bar in this space that I wasn't supposed to go to.
00:07:58
Speaker
yeah There was a whole tray of of small cans, little cans, ah like a half can size. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, double diamond.
00:08:11
Speaker
And obviously I'm thinking, okay, so how many of them did you have? And and did your dad ever cop on to the fact that he's ah his little cans were kind of going down?
00:08:23
Speaker
He did, but he also, I thought I'd hidden him really well by throwing him over the fence at the back of the house and into the like of woods behind.
00:08:34
Speaker
And he discovered foresaid thrown cans. And it's like, right i yeah yeah, it was a hard one, difficult one to, you know, to find.
00:08:52
Speaker
you right is only really were there any um what was were Were there any repercussions? You i got sent to your room what you got hiding and all but a hiding and sent to my room Yeah.
00:09:09
Speaker
And then another time I i i found the scotch. Or was it the vodka? No, it was the vodka. Oh, blimey. So you'd obviously sort of escalated the spirits. escalated, yeah. And ah did.
00:09:23
Speaker
And my mum came home early from work and found me and my mate, John, comatose on the lounge floor.
00:09:36
Speaker
oh God. Yeah. Literally, and like, woken up by my mum. Oh, boy. and then but And then was that the same punishment again? don't think like my dad never found out about that one. I think my mum. Oh, yeah, mum was nice.
00:09:55
Speaker
She was like, you know what? Yeah. but What about you? what What was your, did you have like a, were you alcoholic fiend like me or you were you no No, not, not, not really.
00:10:09
Speaker
i mean, like, although can remember like, so I guess art college days, right? So art college, I remember we, we started to drink cop cocktails.
00:10:24
Speaker
There were these these little individual bottles called Shaker's Cocktails. and They had like sort of pina colada and i remember and, you know, something sunset or whatever.
00:10:35
Speaker
And we used to buy those and we used to drink drink those in class. So there there was that. Also, for some reason, I don't know these things start, but someone, we we all got into German white wine for some reason. Oh, wow.
00:10:56
Speaker
Right. So there was like bottles of Gleibfraub Milch and we used to buy those and take it to parties and... get hammered and and oh we we were so ill so ill you know like those yeah those drinks that you had when when when you were like young and you cannot even you you can't even have a sip off now it just brings back it brings it all back I'm like that with tequila tequila
00:11:29
Speaker
Tequila. Tequila. I shared a bottle of tequila once with her ah with a colleague of of ours. Do remember the Scottish guy from Glasgow?
00:11:44
Speaker
he was like a He was a photographer's assistant. Oh, yeah. yeah he Yeah, he worked with us when we worked at Redlands. yeah Oh, Hamish McTavish. I don't know. I don't know. Well, we shared the digs together, and he was he was smaller and slimmer than me, and he he could take his drink, though. My God.
00:12:09
Speaker
I was yeah oh was out for the count. What were you doing going up against a Scotsman? Yeah, exactly. What were you thinking, Mr Thompson? What was i thinking?
00:12:21
Speaker
It was always going to end badly. Yeah. All of this makes makes it sound like I was a bit of a like an alcoholic, but i never really was. i would have like my moments, but i'd never really had... Unfortunately...
00:12:36
Speaker
um alcohol was a terrible effect on me in that I remember everything. Ooh. Yeah, me too. I envied people that drank and up the next door and say, oh, I can't remember anything I did.
Artistic Journeys and Life Drawing
00:12:51
Speaker
yeah What? You're acting like an arsehole all night. And i remember I would remember everything. Yeah. Yeah. Me too.
00:13:03
Speaker
I mean, I would just drink at parties mostly, you know. Right. That could be like, I mean, you could say that that's an ADHD thing where you're like, you know, you just kind of, ah you know, it helps you kind of get through and stuff and whatnot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. and But yeah, but I didn't really go out a huge amount really.
00:13:28
Speaker
So it never really caught on for me. Yeah. Yeah. I yeah it's really never really went for going out. I wasn't very social sociable at all.
00:13:39
Speaker
I don't remember ever socialising with my ah so i art school friends in the evenings. Ever. Oh, no. Maybe sometimes we'd go to like a nightclub or something in Red Hill.
00:13:53
Speaker
Yeah. um Which I hated. Speaking of art, I thought I i was ah was just clearing up my room a bit. And you know that I did a couple of nights of life drawing yeah classes.
00:14:08
Speaker
Well, I know you did one. and How did the second one go? um So i i I did the first one. That was a guy. The second one was a young guy.
00:14:22
Speaker
a younger girl, woman, I should say, um and that was, but i thought so and and I found that to be a lot easier.
00:14:32
Speaker
and actually had more fun um drawing her. um thought, oh, is it because I spent two years drawing women back 40 years ago or whatever?
00:14:47
Speaker
um Perhaps. um Then the third was ah was this was the same guy again. It was it was a guy from week week one. So i was like, oh.
00:15:00
Speaker
I don't actually like drawing this particular guy. was like, I don't really. And then the fourth and final. Is there was something about him you didn't like? if just it Yeah. ah I'm just throwing it out there. Is it like this ADHD thing you like hypersensitive and there's something about him that was bothering you?
00:15:22
Speaker
and therefore it didn't draw him right so when you're when you're standing there with the easel and your pad and you're drawing someone it's it's really and I think we've said this before it's is really kind of about you and your relationship with what's in front of you and yeah and my my relationship was like I don't really um but we like you. feel really uninspired.
00:15:48
Speaker
I'm really struggling. Yeah, right. Yeah, yeah. And then the fourth one was a different guy. um i was hoping for the younger woman again, but I had a guy.
00:16:00
Speaker
But actually... I liked drawing him because he was um he had to he he had a a really interesting head.
00:16:11
Speaker
And i kind of I kind of fixated on it. ravitated Wow. Yeah. OK. Anyway, so I was actually just going through the images earlier. So I thought I'd actually just hold some up to the camera.
00:16:26
Speaker
and oh so i'll just so I'll just pull out a few for you and anyone in the in the audience this is this is this is what I did ask after 40 years of not doing anything hang on
00:16:48
Speaker
right
00:16:54
Speaker
All right, so i I quite got into the um into the ah into using a Japanese calligraphy but brush.
00:17:06
Speaker
Oh, nice. Like, they had one there, and I was like, ooh, let me try that. So I had ink, and I had that. So let me gonna hold hold hold this up. Oh, nice.
00:17:18
Speaker
Very nice. That's right, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
00:17:23
Speaker
Yeah, yeah.
00:17:27
Speaker
yeah she was quite nice um we've got different pose yeah okay i guess but nice yeah yeah yeah better uh and then i i use the word that comes to mind very sensual sensual sensual it's and s
00:17:56
Speaker
And then um this is the last last one. um my My ink has to had like a little ink stopper thing, like little suction pipette on the top. And actually used that.
00:18:11
Speaker
Like a nipple. Yeah. Yeah. so so so So I've got very different lines.
00:18:21
Speaker
ah It's breaking up. Oh, nice. like that. Yeah. yeah Yeah, there we go. That was that was her. Okay. Anyway.
00:18:35
Speaker
That was that. koy Show and tell. come I'll do a show tell now. Coincidentally... Because we're we're just before we came on, we were like thinking, oh, what could we talk about? i And I was saying to Martin, oh, it's been really shit recently.
00:18:49
Speaker
Actually, there's something. See your drawings. but My mate came over, ah my friend Stefano, and we had a drawing evening.
00:19:00
Speaker
We spent four hours doing self-portraits. No, four hours doing portraits of each other. Here's one that he did of me.
00:19:12
Speaker
yeah Look at that. It's
00:19:21
Speaker
a peach. Yes. You know, he reminds me of someone. It reminds me of... It's like a cartoon character that I can't quite put my finger on.
00:19:34
Speaker
ah Really?
00:19:40
Speaker
Oh, look at that. There you go Nice bit black and white. This is nice as well.
00:19:49
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. um Oh, oh i like that bottom one in the in yeah black and white. That was cool. This is one I did of him.
00:20:01
Speaker
OK. He goes like, mmm. He's got a big ass. This one is another one. A moustache. Good Lord, he has got a moustache. ah He's got a big moustache.
00:20:13
Speaker
There you go. Look at that. That's cool. I like those lines. i think you'll like this one, Martin. Look at this. Okay. and i say Oh, there we go. Cool. See, if as if as's if you're listening on the on the audio only, of obviously this whole section has just been...
00:20:30
Speaker
this whole section is just pincar material It's Prime Podcast. But, yeah, I've got all these like images that we're looking at. So if there's any reason, if if there's no... other like like Surely this is a good excuse to go and find us on YouTube.
00:20:47
Speaker
And have a look. Check us out. Here's one where we've had a couple of... few more beers at this point. All right, so the the drawing has started to disintegrate into like. Yeah.
00:21:00
Speaker
This is sort another one. ah did All right.
00:21:06
Speaker
There we go. There we go. That's nice. ah last Last one. Last one for all you audio people. You can just hang in there. a bit more abstract.
00:21:18
Speaker
All right. Yeah, that's cool. That's nice. I like that. There we go. So nice, nice, loose lines. but It looks like a... It looks like a ah Matisse or something. i We've made arrangements. We're going to do it again. And a mate of his is going to come around next time.
00:21:35
Speaker
ah three-way. ah three-way. Threesomes. A threesomes. Yeah. Nice. no That's fun.
00:21:47
Speaker
so how was would it work So what was your summary of your, and was it four sessions you did?
00:21:56
Speaker
ah My summary of the four sessions was I wish I could just do that every every week, but but it's it's it's quite an an expensive thing. But it was okay um i ah and it was quite a small group. There was only you ever three, maybe four of us.
00:22:15
Speaker
Oh, wow, tiny. Okay. tiny little group um and uh yeah i definitely feel like ah every time i went i did something i did something different so i wouldn't yeah just do the same thing um so every every week i turned up and there i was using different materials different paper different i was doing all kinds of different things um I was surprised because the the first one you did, you said that you left the building like Elvis, right? You left the building and you threw your drawings in the dumpster.
00:22:55
Speaker
Yes. Yeah, I don't have any of those. any any of those
00:23:03
Speaker
It was just like scribbles. was like, eh, whatever. the Throw it away. I'm just going to keep some of so some of the ones that I showed you. I'm going to keep. And then I think um I must have done about 100 drawings. And I'll probably keep about four or five of them, maybe.
Adult Responsibilities and Financial Surprises
00:23:23
Speaker
Wow. oh and Now, Eddie is just walking all over them. he's just He's just decided to get out of his bed. And he's now standing. He's now standing on the on my art artwork.
00:23:37
Speaker
Thanks, Eds. Cheers. He does not care one jot.
00:23:47
Speaker
So what else is going on, Martin? What else is going on? Well, I have have done my taxes for the year, which is, well, I say done. I'm 99% there. I just have to package it up and send them off.
00:24:02
Speaker
um But I've almost done all of that now. Package them up? have Well, so i have ah have an accountant. sounds medieval. Oh, okay.
00:24:14
Speaker
ah Okay. Well, just have to get um all there the worksheet I've done and all the invoices. have upload them to the portal. Oh, okay.
00:24:27
Speaker
And then that will be... and then I'll just have to check over their figures or whatever at the end of it. that's that that's That's the thing is like when they send you back the the tax return,
00:24:44
Speaker
as As you know, you can't just sign it. You literally have to kind of go through all of their work and check it. Oh, God.
00:24:55
Speaker
Because you know what happens. Yeah, yeah. You know what happens. Yeah. It all goes to shit if you don't. Talking of you know what happens and it going to shit, I got...
00:25:09
Speaker
i got Basically, there was some clearly some um parking fines from three years ago when I was living in Calermo in Sicily that I'd forgotten about or ignored or both.
00:25:31
Speaker
Right. And it got to the point where didn the notice didn't come from the police anymore. It came through the tax department of the government. Oh, which is apparently quite serious.
00:25:45
Speaker
Yeah, that's yeah, that's yeah. They when it's when it gets to that point, you get liens. Yeah. Right. So my three small little parking fines that would have been about maximum 40 euros each has turned into a total of 600 euros.
00:26:06
Speaker
Yep. Yep. Oh my God. Plus also in it, they're on your record for like, I don't know what, what the, what it is on how it works in the, in Italy, but here it will be on your red records for like, don't know, five, seven years or something. So that if you wanted to get a loan,
00:26:31
Speaker
or doing banking stuff that involved borrowing money. Really? No, not here. They it go, hang on a second, you know, like this guy's got liens.
00:26:44
Speaker
I mean, it might not stop whatever you you're doing, but I know that here it's like people check that check that stuff Oh, my God. Sounds a bit mad.
00:26:57
Speaker
My God. No, nothing like that here. It's just a parking fine. It's just an irritation. but not just Right, but they like when it when it goes to the tax, when they start pulling it out of the tax liens, then yeah it if it goes to a difference.
Education and ADHD Challenges
00:27:14
Speaker
it's It's on a whole different level at at that point.
00:27:18
Speaker
I'm going to have a crisp.
00:27:22
Speaker
So, yeah. but On my part, I've i've basically decided this this last couple of weeks that I'm going to stop teaching at state schools.
00:27:35
Speaker
If anyone hasn't kept up with I've been teaching for the first time. I've been teaching for about a year, teaching English at school. I'm going to give it up. It's just too many. It's just not right job for my ADHD head.
00:27:51
Speaker
Too many variables. too much of Too many kids. ah want Too many kids. ah and But this week, it was like already difficult.
00:28:02
Speaker
ah They suddenly all changed desk positions. oh And it's like, oh my God, i was already struggling to keep track of their names because I have to give them grades.
00:28:15
Speaker
Right? Right. Now, they've swo they've changed all their desks. They've moved around. Cheeky buggers. Yeah, because you're like, it's a couple of them weren't getting on you know, and you know, the couple of were distracting each other or whatever.
00:28:29
Speaker
I've moved them all around. like, holy crap. So I literally, it's impossible for me to give anyone an accurate grade right now. Right. as it to be like right Everyone gets the same the same grade.
00:28:46
Speaker
That's exactly what I did today. More or less. i really More or less. so you went oh Hang on a second. This person's good. i I remember them. Yeah.
00:28:57
Speaker
Well, there's some people I remember more than others. Right. you know So um basically, there was like a... You did a whole... You did a three-tier system.
00:29:08
Speaker
Either I know you and you're good. I know you because you're bad. Then everyone else in the middle just got the same grade, basically.
00:29:19
Speaker
Yes, exactly. Well, i I kind of... ah Well, ah won't I don't want to give up my trade secrets, but...
00:29:27
Speaker
I kind of, God, if if anyone from a school watches this iPod, iPod? This podcast, i mean I'm in trouble. anyway, I'll tell you where you anyway.
00:29:38
Speaker
I kind of looked at the grades he'd given them already for the grammar side that they they teach. And I teach the oral, do the oral test part, you know, conversation English.
00:29:50
Speaker
I'd like use his grades as a guide. All right. You went, okay. Yeah. All right. Yeah. Blimey. Because usually they kind of coincide anyway, pretty much.
00:30:03
Speaker
You know, it's quite rare that, you know, someone who's really good at grammar is really shit on the oral side. It's quite rare. But like i it I can't do that job anymore. I have to.
00:30:14
Speaker
Right. I'm also working with one teacher who is clearly neuro beige and a complete um control freak and really struggling to work with him.
00:30:26
Speaker
So um it's just a nightmare. total nightmare. Yeah, it's not good. right. as Do you remember those days when you were it was school report time and then you'd get your school report and you'd take it home and you'd have to show your parents your your school report?
00:30:55
Speaker
Yeah. No, it's worse than that. My parents used to go into the school.
00:31:03
Speaker
Oh. Mine used to go into the school and hear it from the teachers.
00:31:11
Speaker
Oh.
00:31:14
Speaker
Yeah. And I'd wait at home nervously. You know what? I think that may have happened for me as well. Not all the times, but for some of them.
00:31:26
Speaker
Yeah, they would go in and you just have to sit home and wait for them to come home and the car to come up the drive. You go, God, here we go. It's going to be a nightmare.
00:31:38
Speaker
Yes. Yes. my I was always like a solid solid C plus student. um think I think I've said this before. That's what I was. Except for sport and art.
00:31:51
Speaker
Sport and art, I would get tens. Oh, very nice. Yeah, yeah. I would get the highest possible grades. Everything else, I was like C and C+. plus Yep, yep.
00:32:06
Speaker
ah Just above average. Yeah. And my dad would come home and give me a hiding.
00:32:14
Speaker
Ooh, blimey. For bad school grades. Yeah, they nice. Yeah, thanks, Dad. That was nice. Yeah. after I never got I never got I was no I didn't get any of that I think it was ah it was always the same. it was always, you know, if they paid attention, they could do better, could do better.
00:32:40
Speaker
Honestly, I think just hearing you, i think that at some point in my early on in my school life, someone wrote could do better, then everyone just saw that and just copied it.
00:32:53
Speaker
Copied it. Worked for each one. Yeah, does okay, could do better. um I mean, I was so... I was so in the middle of the pack that I don't think when it came to writing reports, I think that maybe the teachers didn't even know who I was.
00:33:11
Speaker
Right. I think i think they they just pulled out last year's report and just copied it. That's what I'm thinking now. Where i even though I was kind of resigned to the fact, i don't know, consciously or not, that I i was just bored with school and it just you know it wasn't on my wavelength, whatever they were teaching, whatever they were teaching and however they were teaching.
00:33:40
Speaker
It wasn't on my wavelength on some level. But there was there was a point, comes there was a situation that came to mind where I was so, pissed off with being, you know, because in English schools um it was quite particular at that time. I don't know how it is now, but you would just get the worst teachers.
00:34:02
Speaker
So if you were getting consistently Cs or C pluses, you were downgraded and you basically got the worst teachers at the school teaching that particular subject.
00:34:13
Speaker
The trouble was with one teacher who was teaching maths And I was in the lowest of the lowest of schools. The teacher was so bad. literally at one point in the middle of a class got up, put my shoulder over my back, over my shoulder, but put my bag over my shoulder, walked down to the headmasters, not on his door and said, I want to be moved.
00:34:37
Speaker
I want out. I'm done. I'm I want out. I'm done. I'm out. Literally. Where's the white flag? Knocked on his door. Knocked on his door. I said, I'm done. This is a complete joke.
00:34:49
Speaker
Please move me to another class. Nice. And what happened? Yeah. was that on He did move me. I got moved. Oh, wow.
00:35:00
Speaker
You know what? I think that he respected your balls for going up into his office and demanding. Yeah. I think he went, you know what?
00:35:12
Speaker
You know what, mate? That was always me, determined little bugger. I was always like that. I was a very determined. That's nice. Yes. I can remember. but I can remember early on when we when we were starting to be taught history, which I love.
00:35:28
Speaker
ah love history. I'm very into it. I will happily read books and documentaries and whatever. um Oh, yes. And I can remember almost the first history lesson, the teacher said,
00:35:42
Speaker
And I didn't realise this until I was an adult that that she was telling a joke. But I took her seriously. She said, history, there's no point in in learning history. it's ah dangerous It's a dead subject.
00:36:00
Speaker
Oh, right. Which i which i only... which only, as as an adult, realised that she was like, oh, yeah, because everyone in history is is dead, yes obviously. So it's a it's so she's cheese she's having a joke. She's telling a joke.
00:36:18
Speaker
But me, taking it literally, was like, okay, there's no point in in learning
Influential Teachers and School Memories
00:36:24
Speaker
history. So I didn't bother. I took her at her word.
00:36:29
Speaker
I took her at her word and went like, yeah, okay, fair fair enough. I'm not bothering with with history. that that's that's a adhd trait isn't it taking sometimes taking things ridiculously literally i would say that that's an autistic trait for sure oh okay right as well right i mean like it is it is it sits in in in in there quite quite strongly like okay yeah all right talking history so history was a dead subject to me He was really nice to me.
00:37:01
Speaker
His name, his official name was Mr. Watkins. but Mr. Watkins, love you, Mr. Watkins. Mr. Watkins, but his his actual name, everyone used to call him, was Popeye.
00:37:13
Speaker
Because pi well the rumor around that he had an accident during the Second World War. hey had to ah He had a um some kind of situation with some chemical weapons and he had one eye that always looked like it was about to pop out.
00:37:32
Speaker
Oh, wow.
00:37:36
Speaker
Oh, dear. That's funny. But I always really liked his lessons. we had when He took me under his wing. He always gave me, I don't know, he gave me some leeway, shall we say.
00:37:51
Speaker
Definitely. All right. He liked you. He liked you. We had one art. I love history now. can't ah can i can ah can't get enough of history documentaries and podcasts. Mm-hmm.
00:38:05
Speaker
I had one art teacher who had been photographed and appeared in Playboy.
00:38:18
Speaker
um Oh, my God. she taught she taught of pottery. Right. And she was absolutely stunning.
00:38:32
Speaker
Right. She was stunning. Right. I mean, the same woman, did she become an actress? And she did. She also did GI i Jane and married Bruce Willis.
00:38:46
Speaker
Nope. Oh, okay. You're thinking of some... Who did Mary Bruce Willis? Oh, did she?
00:38:57
Speaker
um No. ah This isn't a Patrick Swayze reference, ghost pottery film reference, is it? Beautiful woman.
00:39:10
Speaker
Anyway, back to your story. No, it wasn't She was attractive. No, but so you can imagine everyone in her class, of all the young adolescent boys in my school were just like head over heels.
00:39:28
Speaker
Wow. In love with her. you She was lovely. um But she wasn't my art teacher. I had two art teachers. one might the The first one was an absolutely miserable man.
00:39:44
Speaker
right who you could not impress for love nor money. Nothing you could do would he would he would he would ever think was was good. right It was always just i nonsense, crap.
00:39:59
Speaker
So I spent the first couple of years really trying, really trying to do something good so that he'd be impressed. And he never was. He never was.
00:40:10
Speaker
I had the opposite it. All right. ah The opposite. say ah with first My first art teacher was he was Mr. Lacey, and he gave me a lifeline that I'm still grateful for today. You know, I'm still... Because he, he like, in in his way...
00:40:30
Speaker
He was an elderly elderly gentleman in his own way. let it kind of made it known to me that I had a talent and that I was away. You know, that's all you need, right? You boy have a talent. um Yes.
00:40:43
Speaker
Yeah. Then he died. Carry on. Oh, he died? He died. oh no. His last one a breath was like, tell Paul he's got a talent.
00:40:53
Speaker
ah Right. Wow. There's something in that pipe that obviously didn't agree with him. Yeah. And then we went from Mr. Lacey to Mr. Parrot.
00:41:06
Speaker
Couldn't make it up. All right. And how was Mr. Parrot compared to Mr. Lacey? Yeah. He was crap. He was crap.
00:41:17
Speaker
it This parrot was, heat that parrot was no more. Oh no. he he was a dead parrot. He was a dead parrot. I went from my first art teacher who was terrible.
00:41:29
Speaker
No, he wasn't terrible. He just, he you just couldn't impress him, which kind of pushed me to like try and do something good. And then the next one, Mrs. Clay, she was a hot little wire as well. She was a. I mean, I can remember.
00:41:48
Speaker
Our friend Stephen had the hots for Mrs. Clay. um remember him saying. She was. She had that kind of like hippie. vibes going on i love that um i can remember we we had a field trip to the beach down in brighton right so there's so it so there's us a lot we're all we're all um kids ah i thought i guess we're all about 15 at the at the time 15 16 somewhere around there
00:42:23
Speaker
And we're on this beach in Brighton and it's an English beach. So you know that it's not particularly warm, right? It's it's an English beach. It's somewhat chilly.
00:42:35
Speaker
And we're all having a... Right. and we're all And we all get off the coaches. We all assemble on the beach for our instructions of the day.
00:42:48
Speaker
And for some reason... My art teacher was in a turquoise ah bikini and was lying there on the bright stones. It's a stony beach.
00:43:05
Speaker
Lying there on the on the stones looking at us. we We're all looking at her. yes She's randomly just lying there in her turquoise bikini.
00:43:18
Speaker
The bikini. I mean, how did she even change into it? We just got off the coach and we're left there. 15-year-old boys. There's a blind spot from when she got off the coach.
00:43:32
Speaker
I presume she didn't get changed on the coach. No, we would have seen that. Right. So where did she get changed? It's a mystery. I have no idea. have no idea. But, I mean, so um she liked me. She liked me and our mutual friend, Steve.
00:43:54
Speaker
And she had her at her own little office in the back of the art room. And she gave it to us. So we had our own room.
00:44:06
Speaker
And when we could go in there any time and just go in there. and what I mean, that was our room. See, now I've got this image. There was like the whole room was...
00:44:18
Speaker
like had like floor to ceiling bikinis. No, no. but Her bikinis, was weird. Yeah. I mean, various sizes and colors and styles.
00:44:32
Speaker
Yeah, one disease but she she liked our our work, so so it was... so but So obviously we would also do work to impress her as well, so so it kind of worked if you if you if you liked us or you didn't.
00:44:51
Speaker
I was always just like, look at piece of work I've done. I remember Steve talking about your art teacher, Mrs. Clay, Yeah.
00:45:02
Speaker
Rest in peace. um She, shes yeah. She's a see's see's like car passed on her. That hippie vibe is is always particularly, I don't know. yeah ah it It's a nice look. I like that look.
00:45:24
Speaker
Yeah. i but I don't know about your school, but we had plenty we had plenty of of um mean I can remember one of my friends who's a girl slept with our French teacher and when I asked her why it's because he took her out for a Chinese meal wow yeah wow okay yeah there was all that kind of I didn't do sixth form was that sixth form or was that
00:46:00
Speaker
Sixth form. in that and it So in our school, you could leave at 16, right? Or you could stay for another two years. Yeah, into eighteen which is why do you and I have an age difference because ah you did sixth form and I didn't.
00:46:13
Speaker
Yeah, it was amazing. The difference between going to school from, what, seven 16, the teachers are all one way, right? They all have this attitude towards you. yeah The moment you choose to be there,
00:46:35
Speaker
From the very first day, I can remember coming back in as a sixth former, and the teachers were completely different. like Who are these people?
00:46:46
Speaker
They're nice. They're friendly. The geology teacher who'd spent the last two years shouting at me and throwing board rubbers at people was now the funniest and loveliest guy on the planet.
00:47:03
Speaker
by It was amazing. Yeah. I think because at English schools ah to up until a certain age, the teachers had an us or them mentality. It's like, if we don't protect ourselves, they will kill us.
00:47:21
Speaker
Right? So they their guards are up. the gods are up Because that's how it was. You know, you had to like... You know, you have to stand up. your set the Teachers have to really stand up for themselves. Otherwise, they'd get water to it oh walked all over. Yeah.
00:47:38
Speaker
My God. I mean, we used to have sixth form parties and invite. ah So in in our sixth form common room, we would have parties with alcohol and we would invite the teachers there.
00:47:55
Speaker
And we would all get pissed together. Right. We would get drunk. Wow. I there'd be a little bit of feeling up the your your your art teacher, if you know what I mean. Right.
00:48:11
Speaker
i mean, it makes me think, it makes me think, why why don't they tell you this? everyone wants to get out at 16. If you only knew...
00:48:25
Speaker
what sixth form was like you'd stay haven't heard that expression for literally I don't know 30 years feeling up not copperfield Copper Copper feel my god having a snog well you tell mean no one uses that it's a language is surely it's not used anymore is it no one has a snog anymore I don't know.
00:48:53
Speaker
I don't know. but um I don't think so. But, yeah, I got a little bit handsy with with with with with Mrs. Clay. So let me think. I'm like 18 and she's like, ah don I don't know, in her 40s maybe. um mean She's not with us anymore.
00:49:16
Speaker
No, she's passed on to the to the other side. She's literally, Mrs. Clay's in the clay. Yeah, she's in the lonely soil. Some type of soil type. Okay. Wow.
00:49:32
Speaker
Wow. I know. Yeah. All right. Now thinking about it, because I was, li I was when we first met, I was literally, because my birthday's in July, have started our college in September.
00:49:49
Speaker
ah was literally 16 and two months. I mean, that's really young. That's when I started our college. And you would have been like well very young almost 19. Yeah.
00:50:05
Speaker
yeah and Wow. I mean, mate, I mean, you seemed like a little young kid. Yeah, I know.
00:50:16
Speaker
Yeah. Everyone thought that I was the son of one of the art, one of the professors, one of the art teachers. I mean, you know, when you're at school, the people in the year above you seem kind of old and the kids in the year under you were like kids and you were like two years younger.
00:50:43
Speaker
But also my hormones stopped when I was 11 and they didn't get going again until I was 19. So I was tiny as well.
00:50:55
Speaker
I stopped growing. Yeah. One annoying thing. didn't stop growing until I was 18 or 19. eighteen or nineteen One annoying thing that you used to do early on yeah was that you would eat a packet of chips, of crisps, right? And then you blow the packet and you go, and you burst the pupe the bag. And we were like, oh, for fuck's sake, Paul.
00:51:21
Speaker
Jesus Christ. I remember. Yes, I did that. Yeah. Yeah, you you did that. And and we all hated you for it. Oh, Christ. Oh, blimey. But you were like, stop doing that, Paul.
00:51:36
Speaker
Okay. And eventually you stopped. Yeah. I was just a kid, you know.
00:51:47
Speaker
I know. what I mean. You're just a little kid. Yeah.
Conclusion and Listener Engagement
00:51:51
Speaker
It's funny, isn't it? Wow. Yeah.
00:51:56
Speaker
ah yeah All right. Well, I think we should wrap stuff up because we're almost on the air. And I know ah we just we just rambled on for no reason. So if you've managed to stick this far, you've got through possibly the worst episode um we've ever done. All the best.
00:52:19
Speaker
All best. Tell us. yes Let us know.
00:52:24
Speaker
um yeah And ah eddie Eddie wants to go out out outside, so this seems a good point to do it to hit the button if I can.
00:52:39
Speaker
Here we go. ah I have to find find the thing segment. Here we go. Here we go. All right. Where's that bloody button I have to push? Here we go.
00:52:50
Speaker
All right. So, ADHD Villains delivered fresh every Tuesday to all providers of fine podcasts. Please subscribe to the pod and rate us the most magnificent and feel free to correspond at will in the comments. But wait, there's more if you wish to see how beautiful beautiful faces and then sally forth to the YouTubes and the TikTokies.
00:53:15
Speaker
But in the meantime, fucking kind to yourself.
00:53:27
Speaker
Blah, blah, blah. God, we got through it. Jesus Christ. Cheers. There.