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Episode 79 - Can We Stop Talking About ADHD?
40 Plays10 days ago
Ever hit that "What the actual fck?"* phase with ADHD? You’re not alone. In this week’s episode of ADHDville, hosts Paul and Martin (co-ex mayors of ADHDville) dive into the rollercoaster of hyperfixating on ADHD—then burning out on it. From identity crises to feeling "done" with the entire conversation, they explore why so many of us reach the "stop the ride, I want to get off" moment—and how to navigate it.
- The denial of an ADHD diagnosis phase
- Rejection, shame, and the "who even am I?" phase
- Why ADHD can get boring (yes, really) phase
- The final 'letting go' phase
- Stretch Armstrong deep dives (because why not?)
Whether you’re deep in research mode or totally over it, this one’s for you. Hit subscribe so you don’t miss the chaos—and drop a comment: Have you ever "hyperfixed out" on ADHD?
🚜 Hop on the tractor—we’re heading to the farm (metaphorically).
See our beautiful faces on YouTube
Put quill to paper and send us an email at: ADHDville@gmail.com
ADHD/Focus music from Martin (AKA Thinking Fish)
Theme music was written by Freddie Philips and played by Martin West. All other music by Martin West.
Please remember: This is an entertainment podcast about ADHD and does not substitute for individualized advice from qualified health professionals.
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Transcript
Introduction to Episode 79
00:00:00
Speaker
Back in the room. Back in the room, Mr. Thompson. We are back, Mr. West. What what is this? Episode 79? 79, Mr. Thompson.
00:00:15
Speaker
And this episode is for anyone who has, on occasion, reached the what the actual fuck phase um when they're dealing with their ADHD.
00:00:28
Speaker
um And kind of like don't want to talk about it anymore. No. um so Stop the ride. I want to get off. Right.
00:00:39
Speaker
Which think. don't think. We have kind of, we have all had that, for up with all of us, but I think it's it's it's a very common um ah phase of our ADHD journey.
00:00:56
Speaker
Exactly. So. Or as my grandmother used to call it, she had a she was from Stoke, she had a Stoke accent. She'd go, don't worry, Paul, it's just a phrase you're going through.
00:01:08
Speaker
Just a phrase. It is just a phrase that many of us have gone through. Or going through. Right. So going from that, like, I don't really want to talk about ADHD. This is a podcast episode talking about not talking about ADHD. Right.
00:01:25
Speaker
the irony Thompson. Marvelous. Marvelous.
Navigating ADHDville: A Metaphorical Journey
00:01:29
Speaker
And I will just say, hit that subscribe button if you haven't already. Hit it. God's sake. What's wrong with you people?
00:01:37
Speaker
um Anyway, so let's go to a place where the distractions and landmarks and the detours are the main roads. Welcome to ADHDville. Yeah, let's there, there.
00:01:49
Speaker
Underground, overground, Wombly free. One more, so we're more done, common are we? Making more good to the things that we find, things that the end we don't, everyday folks leave behind.
00:02:05
Speaker
Lovely rendition, Paul. Thanks.
00:02:11
Speaker
It's you, mate. It's you, mate. Yes. yeah Yes. this This episode
Hosts' ADHD Diagnoses and Friendship
00:02:16
Speaker
is... Oh, no, that was your bit. um Hello, I'm Paul Thompson. I was diagnosed with the combined A and the D and the H and some other...
00:02:25
Speaker
letters, crawling towards about two years ago.
00:02:30
Speaker
I'm Martin West, and I was diagnosed with combined poo-poo platter and ADHD in 2013. And are... and we are Two mates who, by coincidence, open brackets or not, a closed brackets, comma, after 39 years, almost 40 years of friendship, discovered that we're co-ADHDs. Who would have thought it?
00:02:52
Speaker
Now, it's really important to say this is an entertainment podcast, Martin, about adult ADHD. Adult ADHD. Adult podcast and does not substitute for individualized advice from qualified health professionals.
00:03:09
Speaker
And there's plenty of the out ah to plenty off them out there if you need them. So don't take any advice from him. Or him. We're just kind of here as an all-inclusive ADHD park bench, all comfy with pillows or without pillows, you choose, with room for everyone, including your doppelgangers, your auto-egos, your buddy doubles, your chaperones, and even your best buddies still here. Freaking miracle.
00:03:34
Speaker
Congratulations, you've already won a loyalty badge. So grab your jetpacks, your pedalos, space operas, or any other transportation methods and legends to take you to ADHD.
Playful ADHD Metaphors and Experiences
00:03:45
Speaker
a imaginary town that we've created
00:03:54
Speaker
boys now We would like to implore a implore, explore different parts of the A, the D, the H and the D again. Indeed. And we start off as we have done now ah in the King's Agitated Head pub.
00:04:12
Speaker
Yes. um after we but After we failed to win election to to to be mayor's, but we now hang out here in the pub. I don't know you think it has failed. I think it more is, you know, taking a pause.
00:04:28
Speaker
All right. Yeah. Well, you know, um the mayorship of ADHD will come around again and we will mount a heroic effort.
00:04:39
Speaker
Good word. I couldn't have chosen a better and expression myself. Lovely. Lovely. All right, well, we start off as we're here and blah, blah, blah. I've already said that. but So what's on the
Understanding 'Hyperfix Out' and Burnout
00:04:54
Speaker
agenda?
00:04:54
Speaker
I've got ADHD and what I've come to call hyperfix out. o i I have invented a term. Oh, wow, I like that. And I don't know whether this is like it already exists, but I've not heard of it.
00:05:10
Speaker
Hyperfix out. So it's like... when you kind of like think that you have ADHD and you find out that you might be, and then you do a lot of research about ADHD and then you kind of go, Oh my God, I've, you know, and you, and you hyper fixate on your ADHDness.
00:05:28
Speaker
Yeah. And then you kind of look any at any at it anymore. And then you're out, you know, you're out it's like, maybe you've picked up a new partner from somewhere. You met her at the disco. Yeah.
00:05:42
Speaker
And you've obsessed, you've been each other, like, you know, in each other's worlds, you know, you've been like, you know, being with each other, like solid for three months, you're like really, really into each other.
00:05:55
Speaker
And then then one day to the next, you think, oh, can we not just take a little break?
00:06:03
Speaker
That means we're out.
00:06:07
Speaker
Take a break. Take a break. It's not me It's you. oh no, it's not you. It's me.
00:06:18
Speaker
oh Anyway, so ah um before we kind of actually get into it, we should actually just get into the tractor. We should get into our tractor. Let's perch our buttocks on the tractor seat.
00:06:33
Speaker
um um And we're going to go from the pub. And ah for once, this motor transport is going to be great because we're going to the farm. To the farm. So it feels... But we're still going to plow our way through the town square. Yeah, just dig up those those roads.
00:06:49
Speaker
Solving the pothole problem. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Jump in, Mr. Thompson. Let's get going. It doesn't get any more comfortable.
00:07:03
Speaker
No.
00:07:13
Speaker
Oh, here we are. At the farm. And if you listen carefully, can you can hear those farm yard animals and birds and shit. Shit.
00:07:24
Speaker
Are you like me, Martin? Are you like me, Martin? the the older The older I get, the more I'm into the idea of a smallholding.
00:07:36
Speaker
Oh yeah, absolutely. Yes. With like rare breeds. Rare breeds of what? Camels? Goat. Giraffe. Oh, giraffe. Oh, goats.
00:07:49
Speaker
Yes. Goat, llamas, alright right maybe a pig, you know. Okay. Yeah. All right. A pig or two.
00:07:59
Speaker
And some um in the and then then the vegetable patch, you know, maybe, you know, supplying to the local, you know, market some rare, long forgotten vegetables and berries and stuff. Logan berries.
00:08:15
Speaker
Heirloom plants. Yeah. Yeah. but i right Well, I mean, I'm i'm part of the way there because I've just literally planted from seed about 50 heirloom tomato varieties,
00:08:31
Speaker
um as well as a bunch of other stuff as well. So I've got about at least 100, 200, 100 varieties plants. least a hundred two hundred ah now've got hundred varieties of plants
00:08:47
Speaker
Holy moly. They're all sprouting. mo Yeah, mate. Have you got into that thing? You can you can make your own like mushroom-growing towers.
00:08:59
Speaker
um yeah that is on our that's on the cards we we are so this that will be for this year as well we will be growing mushrooms as well wow sounds like i need to make a visit you should mate you should come over and yeah and eat shit um all right um um so yeah so we are we so we are talking about that um because And the reason why this topic came up was because, yeah you know, you were diagnosed with ADHD a ah year and half, maybe a
Paul's ADHD Diagnosis and Podcast Genesis
00:09:40
Speaker
something.
00:09:40
Speaker
A bit more than a year and a half, yeah. Right. And I can remember at one or two points, you've kind of gone, i i'm just... um I'm done with it. i'm I'm done with it. I'm done with it. Yeah.
00:09:51
Speaker
Stop the ride. I want to get off. Yeah, because we started... Well, okay, let's let's backtrack a bit. About week or two weeks before diagnosis,
00:10:02
Speaker
about a week or two weeks before my diagnosis I called you, Martin, or you called me.
00:10:13
Speaker
And I said, well, you know, there's not like really podcasts out there really resonate for like the the mature. The mature gentleman. been Late diagnosed, but like really freaking late diagnosed.
00:10:25
Speaker
And you said to me, why don't you do it, Paul? And I said, why don't we do it, Martin? And it went from there. But... which was all great, fine and dandy. But we literally started podcasting the same week I got my diagnosis.
00:10:41
Speaker
and i And it was like full on. Like discovery, insights, reframing, rebadging, yeah ah rebadgering,
00:10:57
Speaker
um those the digging up, all of those kind of things. And at some point, it's like, oh, my God. It's a lot. It's a lot.
00:11:09
Speaker
It was like breaking into a sweet shop at midnight. and gorging on all the sherbet dib-dabs and the chocolate and everything else. you know Curly whirly. Curly whirly's.
00:11:24
Speaker
Topics. Do you remember the topics? yeah Double deckers. Twigs. Twigs. um Twiglets. yeah Flying saucers.
00:11:36
Speaker
Flying saucers. Yeah. Remember them? Or you just get, get sometimes it's just a quarter of sherbet. You know what? I can remember, which you i don't I think you can still get it, but there'd be like smoking stuff as candy.
00:11:53
Speaker
So you could buy a little packet of candy cigarettes and you would have like a licorice pipe. It was like a licorice and it had like little red...
00:12:05
Speaker
aniseed balls on the end and you even had
Taking a Break from ADHD Focus
00:12:10
Speaker
rolling to tobacco think it was called golden something and it was like coconut flavoured wow never saw that never saw that coconuts yeah it was like coconut and no you said nuts and I said coconuts oh I see I see what you did there just wait for that to land a second hang on I
00:12:37
Speaker
Ha!
00:12:40
Speaker
oh yeah But anyway, so you kind of get sick. So you're hyper-focusing and then you've got all this stuff coming at you and then you kind of get almost like burnt out or what I've coined.
00:12:56
Speaker
You hyper-fix out. Hyper-fix out. Come on, it's going to happen. Copyright that. I'm going to put that as ah as a TikTok heading yes and I'm going to make that work.
00:13:08
Speaker
Yes, you'd need to monetize that. Mm-hmm. I hate that word, monetise monetize. Monetize. I like the money. it's It's the tithing part that is the annoying bit. Exactly.
00:13:22
Speaker
Anything with the zedding, I've, you know, I ah don't know, I have my reservations about zedding anyway. Right. So, yeah, and I think we've got to a point where I think I said, Martin, I really need a break.
00:13:40
Speaker
And luckily we had like four or five episodes in the bag under our belt. And I took a break. And I think I went to Palermo as well at that time. Right. I'm just working Palermo.
00:13:53
Speaker
I think, I mean, I can remember when I got my ADHD diagnosis back in 2013, there was like, yeah, I bought a book. I went online.
00:14:04
Speaker
I learned about stuff. And then it slid off. I mean, i was on meds, so I just had meds and that was a thing. i'm And then it kind of like pretty much died a death until until, I mean, it was very low. It died a death or you just dropped the radar? my...
00:14:27
Speaker
Right, my kind of research into it. kind of you know if so If stuff came at me through the the internet or whatever, then I was like, okay, fine.
00:14:38
Speaker
And then it wasn't until TikTok came along and I kind of got onto that it started to really pick up again. Yeah. yeah because Because there were people kind of you know giving advice or hacks or tips. And I was like, oh, this is it interesting. And then when you said...
00:14:54
Speaker
might might mate, mate, I might have ADHD, mate. I'm like, ooh, okay. And then obviously doing this podcast, I'm in that same place where it's like, oh, suddenly every week I'm researching stuff. But I i had already gone through my period where I kind of put it on the back burner. So I'm now in like Flynn.
00:15:18
Speaker
already went through a phrase. you you already went through a phrase I went through my own phrase. And now you're into the longer paragraph.
00:15:30
Speaker
um And now I'm like, yep, no, girl i can I can live this. So do you, but do you get, do you get like, um um ah how could I put it?
00:15:44
Speaker
well as Well, you put it, you've already given it a freaking name. Do you get then, Hyperfixout, do you get it? you do get that? yeah Yeah, so yeah well that's what that's what I was just saying, that you know that i that I got my diagnosis and then after my initial hyperfixating, I was like kind of like put it on the back burner for quite a few years. So 2013, got onto TikTok about 2020, I guess.
00:16:12
Speaker
yeah So that was like seven years. well it was But you get that now, though? No. Oh, okay. Yeah. No, I don't ah ah don't get it now. No, but i i've've i've I've already ticked that box, and now I'm kind of much more... It's now part my everyday life, and I quite like it, to be honest. so Yeah, yeah.
00:16:33
Speaker
I'm into it. yeah It's cool. Yeah, I suppose i think... We've got, I mean, ah ah we've got like a, hopefully ah a guest coming up, this like teed up and she's um quite a well-known ah journalist and well-known ADHD and she's talked about it a lot, ADHD.
00:16:54
Speaker
And she said, oh you know, she said, yeah, I'm up for doing ah guest appearance. But she said, to be fair to her, she said, kind of get a bit fed up talking about it.
00:17:05
Speaker
And she gets, she's got like her, limit about how much she wants to hear herself talking about it which I totally get right I totally get it yeah Yeah, exactly. i kind of feel like, go on.
00:17:21
Speaker
it's it To me, it's similar to when you go and see a shrink, you know, and you you make your first appointment, and then there's like an investment, you know, in your you're like nasal gazing for at least a couple of years if you want to really do it properly, you know.
00:17:39
Speaker
ah even with the best of psychologists you need it takes its time and that nasal gazing and that's it's quite um it's hard work right right and you're looking forward to the time it's like god do i can i stop nasal gazing can i stop thinking about oh why and if and what and what if i think another kind of reason is not only do you get bored but But you're kind of talking about it with with everyone else, right?
00:18:08
Speaker
Yeah. You know, with those that are close to you. And then they can be interested or not for a bit. but but But it's not really their thing. So they kind of tend to like their interest kind of wanes and dies off. Or you might have some people that are kind of outwardly like, no, you know, you're talking...
00:18:33
Speaker
bullshit you don't have adhd so they're therefore kind like you you get a bit of you know you're open to read rejection from from everyone else and then you kind of like yeah kind of like almost like end up shutting it down yourself because of external people which so it also goes against if you had a late diagnosis like me and you you you must want like shout from the freaking hills and And the world's not, most of the world's not, does not only doesn't want it, they're they're not not ready for it. ah Or at best, they're not, they don't, you know, they don't want to continually hear about it.
00:19:15
Speaker
Yeah. See what I mean? Like you want to like, it's like, it's like, um I don't know, um discovering that you're, or admitting youre coming out as being ah
Accepting ADHD Diagnosis as a Journey
00:19:27
Speaker
gay and keeping it under wraps for years and years. And you get to a point where, fuck this. I want it.
00:19:34
Speaker
Just let it all out, you know, ah but the the world isn't necessarily ready for you doing that. Right. And I think sometimes you you aren't ready yours yourself. so So that's why you kind of go, I'm out. um um I can't deal with all of this stuff. for some So I'm just going to kind of like put it onto the back burner for a while and, you know. Yeah.
00:19:59
Speaker
because you yourself are not ready to kind of make that trans transition from a non-ADHD person, if you like, to someone who... That's good point....who lives it, you know. Yeah.
00:20:14
Speaker
Because, you know, as you say, there is a kind of a... I mean, I'm not gay, so I am speculating here, but it seems like... As you say, the you're in the the the the closet for a while and you might even try and reject the whole thing.
00:20:30
Speaker
Yeah, or suppress At some point, there could be a transition you come out. And then you have a whole different bunch of... friends and community that you kind of build up yeah but that transition is it's not easy it's not easy to kind of go from i'm normal yeah we think it's not on it's not an on off switch is it no no you have to take a bloody great run up it's more of a dimmer switch yeah And it's interesting what you're saying. Yeah. About what were you saying?
00:21:08
Speaker
Yeah. I was saying stuff. Being. Yeah. yeah Oh, I know what was going say. I remember when i ah I started some sessions with a psychologist and she was giving me loads of like suggestions about what I could do. And, you know,
00:21:23
Speaker
um um ideas about how I could like manage my, you know, that time of my life. And, and, and loads of tools, potentially loads of tools to help me, I wasn't ready to use them.
00:21:39
Speaker
Right. Yeah.
Timing and Readiness in Therapy
00:21:42
Speaker
So it's, it's, it's not, as it's a good point. Actually. It's very profound, Martin. This you not always, you're not always ready to let it go.
00:21:53
Speaker
right Let's say go that you've been living by a rule book for these years and letting go that, Oh, I lived by it. I've been suppressing my real self all these years.
00:22:10
Speaker
And letting go, I suppose, of the the bit of the shame in that of suppressing yourself. Yeah. No. I mean, it it it does feel like um if you've gone through so if you've gone through something big, likes like but like a grief, it feels like... Totally.
00:22:30
Speaker
It feels very similar to that in that in that there's a sort of... you know, um there's there's a journey to the acceptance of which part of it is is is is is like this kind of overwhelmed part. I don't want to know, um you know, that you kind of start off as this kind of, you know, and we're in this unaware phase, right, where you just think that you're that you that you' sketchy and flaky and that you're struggling and that you're normal.
00:23:04
Speaker
Yeah. And then you go to the... Yeah, go on, sorry. and i'll say And then you kind of get to the co the curiosity stage, which is like, wait, what? Do I do i have something?
00:23:15
Speaker
Then there's a hyperfixation on the ADHD. Then there there's the rejection but so but the the rejection and and the doubt and the and the and the identity, yeah the identity crisis, which I know that you've talked about before where you're like...
00:23:33
Speaker
Who fuck was I all these years? am I then? Who am I? How are you, Paul? Right. With those strange glasses. Which, by the way, can I just say, want to trade these glasses.
00:23:45
Speaker
I ah put these new glasses on for comedy effect, but actually they're an old prescription. I'm starting to get a headache. So I don't put them on. there's Paul. He's back. That's better.
00:23:58
Speaker
but i don't know who I don't know who that other guy was earlier with the yeah round glasses. Yeah, some kind of fake version of me. He was a wanker. Which is a... Yeah. It's like, who the hell were you, Paul, with those glasses?
00:24:11
Speaker
don't was. Well, that was Paul. That was the old Paul before his diagnosis. That's who he was. see. With the weird glasses. I see. Yeah, you see. Yeah.
00:24:23
Speaker
But yeah, it's hard to give that up. My sister. Hello, Jane. Hi, Jane. and We have had a conversation. My skin and blister, which Cognitive rhyming slang, um London dialect for saying skin and blister, sister.
00:24:42
Speaker
I've had a conversation with her because i i i i think she um she's a classic female version of me.
00:24:53
Speaker
um She was diagnosed with antidepressants for years and years and years and I'm convinced that she's been misdiagnosed. I'm going to put it out there. I totally think that and I've said it to her.
00:25:05
Speaker
So please, Jane, go and see someone because I think it's possible that you've been misdiagnosed all of these years. you know, and she hasn't seen anyone.
00:25:19
Speaker
This is months have passed. And I wonder, I don't know, I don't want to second guess her thoughts, but I wonder if it's a bit of this thing that she doesn't want to give in to the idea that she's um been bit been misdiagnosed all of these years, hold ah held on to a belief that actually wasn't accurate.
00:25:44
Speaker
Right. know That's not easy to give up when you get to like 59, know, 58, 59. you know fifty eight fifty nine Right, because I think, because like if you get diagnosed with something, it it does it does kind of become part of your identity in a way, you know?
00:26:06
Speaker
you you You tend to think of yourself as, you know, someone who is autistic or has ADHD. So if you think of yourself as someone who is autistic,
00:26:18
Speaker
di depressed for example for example that you have a depressive disorder you know like that's part of who you are so giving that up there's always going to be a bit of reluctance yeah so that yeah it's like the the lies become part of your identity Yeah Yeah Well lie may be a strong word But the The The Yeah Yeah No I can't think of a better word But I mean that's a bit strong But It It resonates For me at least I'm not i don't want to second guess i said But But But The signs are like Humongous And I hope That she will Get a diagnosis Right
00:27:06
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. I know. so So that kind of like, oh, I'm bored. I want to stop this. I want to get off. um it's It's exhausting. you ADHD, you already suffer from, ah you know, but you know um burnout, fatigue, you know.
00:27:24
Speaker
so and when, I mean, there is the benefits of being diagnosed as late in your life as we have. um Definitely, because you feel like you've gone through the hoops by now, you know.
00:27:41
Speaker
But yeah also, you you it just also means at the same time, you've got a lot of more years to reframe.
00:27:53
Speaker
Yes. Yeah. So the grieving thing that you talked about, Martin, you know, there's more to grieve. What? Yeah. the There is more.
00:28:05
Speaker
There's so much more. What's more? I was listening to someone on a podcast this week, actually, on I was driving between clients and they said that shes she has an ADHD, autism or ADHD clinic in the UK.
00:28:21
Speaker
She said she's got clients that are in their 70s and have been diagnosed with ADHD or autism. And she said the first reaction is anger.
00:28:33
Speaker
It's extremely common. It's that anger and frustration. like, what the hell? You know? ah But I suspect anger with themselves too, I think.
00:28:47
Speaker
But no, that's probably not true. Because it's not it's not been on our radar, has it? It doesn't. At our age. Our generation. I think it tends to pop up as regret. as regret
00:29:01
Speaker
and and a a loss about what could have been. Yes. You know, all of that stuff. And what if i what if had if I'd been luckier and I'd ah had it misdiagnosed, you know, 30 years before and enjoyed more life with the new me, the reframed me?
00:29:27
Speaker
Yeah. So on that journey... you know, unawareness to, where are unawareness to curiosity to discovery and you hyperfixate and then you kind of, then then there's the rejection, doubt, you know, identity crisis part. And then at some point there's a sort of, and there's the acceptance part.
Integration of ADHD into Life
00:29:52
Speaker
Now, um I think the important, you know, like that's where you start to kind of come to terms with it, right? Where you kind of start to kind of, I i would say that accepting ADHD isn't I have ADHD.
00:30:10
Speaker
That's just the kind of start of it. It's the can you incorporate that into your life? Can you work around it? Can you see how it works? Can you, you know, can you, you know, it becomes part of your Can start to change the dialogue?
00:30:27
Speaker
Can you start to change the dialogue in your head about, you know, why you do things in in a certain way? Right. It's almost like, you know, like I have a cold, I have ADHD, right? There's a sort of a separation when you, it but but at some point you you you kind of go, no, am ADHD. This is who I am. It's not a thing that's gone wrong or it's actually just who I am.
00:30:58
Speaker
And and the the acceptance process, I guess, is is just adjusting everything in your life so that it works for you rather than being against you, right?
00:31:09
Speaker
Yeah. At that point. Yeah. Yeah. that point um yeah ah think I guess what comes to mind now is, you know, you know you kind of, a lot of people grow up, whether you're neurodiverse or not, grow up feeling like you're misunderstood, okay, buy by other people.
00:31:32
Speaker
But in the case of ADHD, it's a double whammy. You misunderst even misunderstood yourself.
00:31:43
Speaker
You know. Who am I? My God. Yeah. I know. So, like, you can either kind of, like, go down the the acceptance road or you can just continually, like, fight it fight it and block it out. And there are people out there that fight it, you know. Absolutely.
00:32:03
Speaker
Yeah. yeah there's There are people out there, ah it's not talked about very often in the ADHD community, there are people that reject it aggressively,
00:32:15
Speaker
um and there is ah i think a big percentage of undiagnosed ADHD or ADHD people that um ah will reject it because they not only don't want to take it um they they don't want to take it on, but even the thought of taking it on.
00:32:36
Speaker
Right. i would I would even say that it doesn't even have to be undiagnosed. It can be diagnosed ADHD. o And then you kind of go, i can't deal with it.
00:32:47
Speaker
Yeah. And um i just I just want to be normal. So I'll just carry on doing all the coping masking and all of that stuff. and Or even masking even more than he did before.
00:33:01
Speaker
Well, yeah, because there's this little voice in the back of the head going, boy, mate, you've got ADHD, mate. when who you Who are you trying to be?
Allowing ADHD to Be a Part of Life
00:33:09
Speaker
but so What's that all about?
00:33:13
Speaker
in I know. yeah Letting the worms out of the can. Let's put those worms back, shall we? Right. Yeah.
00:33:24
Speaker
Yeah, so actually, it it brings me on to like... the the other thing of not hyper-focusing on ADHD anymore, I think they get to a point for many people who aren't doing podcasts about it, for example, when when you've but but when you've actually kind of like accepted a ADHD and you've integrated and you're integrating it into your life and you've seen all the TikToks and you've then you've when you listened to all the fucking podcasts and you've watched all the
00:33:59
Speaker
all these the youtubers and they could get okay i've got it i've got it no one's really saying much new anymore yeah i i've yeah i've i've i've got it and basically i'm just going to kind of like um not hyper fixate on it anymore i'm i'm just going to kind like live it and and you know And you just get bored of talking about it because it's like, no, this is just who I am. i don't have to keep yapping on about five signs have ADHD.
00:34:33
Speaker
I guess that what comes to mind with that is... um If I was to give anyone advice, you know, if they're if they' about to be a diagnosed and they they kind of know that they only need the diagnosis to to you know to have the rubber stamp or people that have had the recently had the diagnosis and are about to go through that period this period that we're talking about, i i the advice I would give is give it time to land.
00:35:04
Speaker
e Give it time. You know, you've had you've had enough time, you know, dealing with not knowing and enough time dealing with feeling like, you you know, you're, you know, from another planet.
00:35:19
Speaker
So now is definitely the time. Give yourself a break. Take care yourself and give it time. And it it goes against being a dish because it's like having a shiny new toy and you you you don't have the patience to like let it run its course and, you know, develop and let the insights and the reframing happen naturally. No, you want it all now, right?
00:35:44
Speaker
and But that's just not how it is. So give i'll give the if I was giving my myself advice, the Paul of 18 months ago, would say, give it time to land.
00:35:55
Speaker
Yeah, there's ah there's a Phil Collins song that just sprung into my mind, which was, you can't hurry self-love. No, you just have to wait. They say self-love doesn't come easy. It's just a... Yeah.
00:36:15
Speaker
Yeah, it's a Dinah Ross originally. Oh, yeah. Was it? Yes. i yeah I know that he was doing a cover. Diana Ross and the Temptations. No, not the Temptations.
00:36:26
Speaker
Diana Ross and the Supremes. And the Supremes. The Supreme Temptations. Yeah. ah Like a Twix or a Curly Wurly. a Churbet Dibdab.
00:36:38
Speaker
That's a Supreme Temptation. Yes. I would also say that, although if you've actually got this far in the podcast... Congratulations already. You aren't these these people, right?
00:36:52
Speaker
but Yeah. But it might be that at some point in the future, you kind of go, yeah, no, you know, like, of you know, I don't need to kind of get so involved in all this ADHD yeah community stuff.
00:37:06
Speaker
ah shean it's it's it's It's done its job and ah yeah now I kind of like, and and and I'm um'm cool. And so you don't have to feel guilty about losing interest in ADHD. You don't have to kind of feel like, oh, I'm...
00:37:21
Speaker
yeah um You know, i've I've lost interest in ADHDville podcast. Honestly, right. If people came into the ADHDville podcast and was like, oh, I'm interested in ADHD and they learn a bunch and after a year or two or something, mean whatever whatever it is, eight episodes, yeah they kind of go, you know what?
00:37:39
Speaker
I'm good. Minimum 11. 11. Can we say Oh, that but that would be awesome. If you could just listen 11 episodes, that'd be great. And then after, if you if you've if you've done 11 and want to wander off, you've not listened to us anymore, big thumbs up. Our job is done, Paul.
00:37:56
Speaker
Our job is done. Being part of that ADHD. d Jobs chops are good. eye Right. Totally get it. And also, I would say that the point of this podcast was ADHD can be boring.
00:38:09
Speaker
Right? It can be boring. Right. Yeah, um especially to your potentially non-neurodivergent partners, you know, that's yeah there's a bit of an elephant the room. It's like you're going through this period and if your partner is not neurodivergent, A, you've got hope that they they've got the patience of saints.
00:38:38
Speaker
Or that they're just, you know, they're also neurodivergent. They just, like, haven't got to that point yet to get a diagnosis. But either way, um it can be really boring to them, ah to you. It's a shiny new toy, and it's like, what?
00:38:56
Speaker
so and you're on a roller coaster and they're waiting for you know with a with a limp floss candy you know at the end of the ride that would just wait you for you to arrive and everyone turned the lights out all right and you're still on the roller coaster whoa and yeah and and And they're like hoping that you'll come off and be fixed and be normal.
00:39:20
Speaker
You're like, no, I'm on this roller coaster forever. Forever and ever. I'm never going to get off.
00:39:31
Speaker
Can we go round again so I can puke from the high point? That's right. I'm not going to be puking from the low points as well. It's going to be pukey. Pukey. Yeah.
00:39:43
Speaker
Yeah. I know. That's hard one. I find myself sometimes, you know, I've had to in the past, I've had an insight, you know, really fucking profound insight about my past, you know, my ADHD past.
00:39:58
Speaker
and i And I'm like thinking, oh, can I? My girlfriend's like sitting in front of me like, oh, shall I share that or not? thats That's hard. You know, you want to get it out there and like fucking help.
00:40:14
Speaker
You know, you feel like she doesn't want to hear that, you know, this moment. Yeah. ah That's hard. That's a hard part as well. yeah i mean i was i was just going to kind of say way way way back before the but roller coaster and stuff that um that uh candy floss and the candy floss is that um is that yeah if people leave our podcast because they're kind of like
00:40:46
Speaker
you know, they've got everything that we could, thank then fantastic. I will give you a big thumbs up if you've if yeah if if you don't have to listen to us anymore and don't feel guilty. But as I said, ADHD can be quite boring, which is why yes you and me, Paul, try not make it boring.
00:41:08
Speaker
yeah try You our little humble little way for it to not to be dull. and And, you know, so that we're giving advice and stuff from our perspective.
00:41:19
Speaker
Yeah. But with some anecdotes and fun and candy floss along the Exactly. We're not, in know, let's talk about the the a bit of elephant in a room.
00:41:30
Speaker
we Our numbers are not good. And we were talking about this before we came on to record tonight's, this evening's, well... That rubbish, to be honest. It's evening here in in Italy.
00:41:44
Speaker
We haven't got the numbers and we don't care. it would be nice to have the numbers, but we we said right from the start, okay, how are we going to measure our success?
00:41:57
Speaker
hu And our our our success, we always agreed that me and Martin, we have some fun. Hopefully we can drag some a few people along the way and also get some fun out of it and some nourishment.
00:42:14
Speaker
Like a Twix. Like a Twix. Or a Curly-Rely. Oh, yes. so Or a Haribo. Oh. Or some... um I've got some cheese puffs in front of me, actually.
00:42:29
Speaker
All right. That haven't finished yet. you You have a bottle of wine and some cheese puffs. That's very continental of you, Mr. Thompson. I'm a very classy man. Yeah.
00:42:39
Speaker
i have a but I have my green tea. But yeah, I mean, we, our figures are not, we don't have the big productions. We don't have big bucks behind this, you know.
00:42:51
Speaker
um But we we have a whale of a time and we hope, what we hope is that, you know, people discover us, you know, and they dip in and out as as they like.
00:43:03
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. Which, um now that we're speaking of other people, maybe we should get back into the track to go to the head to the post office and and okay listen to some lovely words that people who actually like us have said about us.
00:43:21
Speaker
ah Do they exist? Yes. Get in. Get in, Paul. Let's go.
Listener Feedback and Community
00:43:26
Speaker
There's a few. um
00:43:35
Speaker
so post office post office so that's this is my bit isn't it yeah um your feedback is vital to us we read all of the comments all of them 100% and we might read yours out on a future podcast like this one from this is your bit Martin oh I'll do uh okay so uh a new subscriber um at death to us part hyphen harmony hello hello hello welcome to ADHDville um And she wrote a rather nice... to ample bosom and our broad church that is ADHDville.
00:44:12
Speaker
I was going to say, I am a flat-chested ex-mayor. I can barely fill an acre. Um... ah but But she wrote a rather nice long message which ended with, oh, so that was the the episode about hypermobility.
00:44:32
Speaker
Yes. Which was episode 78. um Which is no one is, it's like it's not out there much at all. I feel like we're on the vanguard of this discussion.
00:44:45
Speaker
I know. So she wrote a lot. She said, thanks for thanks for taking the time to cover this subject. um And we have Alexandra. Over there in Greece, modern Greece, not the ancient one.
00:45:01
Speaker
The modern Greece. modern greece um Again, love her comments. and she And she ah one thing that that that she did say about hypermobility was, I think I might have this.
00:45:15
Speaker
So there we go. We have 20 people. Go back and listen to it. Go back and listen to it. Because if you are ADHD or ADHD or just autistic, you have twice as much chance of having hypermobility as a neuro um um normal. new What is that? Neuro normal.
00:45:41
Speaker
Neuro beige people. Yeah. eu Twice as likely. Vanilla. Neuro Vanilla. Yep. um Yeah. So, all right. Where are we now? 45 minutes.
00:45:52
Speaker
I mean, we could just end here for example and just do the outro. Yes. Or I just want to pick up on a thing in the last episode. episode I know this is not, it's not programmed. It's not in the, it it's not in a script, but but in the last thing we left, we left hanging as it were, the discussion about Stretch Armstrong.
00:46:17
Speaker
Well, we did, yes. Stretch Armstrong. We did. Tell us more about Stretch Armstrong. We left it hanging or stretching in this case. And anyway, yes, it was. I can confirm Stretch Armstrong was created 1976.
00:46:33
Speaker
Okay. Right. So I remember, um yeah so just to kind of like fill it, anyone in who doesn't know what Stretch Armstrong is, it was a toy that I remember seeing the adverts for in the UK.
00:46:47
Speaker
I'm pretty sure it was also in the States as well, maybe if it in the UK, in Europe. it was It was like a sort of a plasticky He-Man character. It arrived in the UK four years after it was introduced in the States in 1980.
00:47:02
Speaker
Oh, wow. And you could basically get hold of each of the arms of this kind of like, of this massive guy and they just stretch him. Yes.
00:47:13
Speaker
And that was it. That was what he did. He just stretched. You could stretch it out to about one and a half metres. Which is a lot. It's a lot.
00:47:25
Speaker
Thanks to a concept that some guys produced. created okay oh god what if we created this thing and it's thanks to this feeling that they had that was made of corn syrup right okay and they basically bought and experimented with vast quantities of syrup corn syrup they bought from the supermarket and they finally kind of like found the thing they thought was was working. They boiled it down, the syrup, and to to get the proper viscosity, Martin, that they wanted.
00:48:01
Speaker
And then they flew to someone's some toy maker's headquarters, and they loved it so much, they decided, yes, let's go with it. Okay, and it went from there. Went from Kenner.
00:48:13
Speaker
come Kenner, and I think Hasbro then bought it. Okay. All right. In 19... Sorry, in 2016, it was relaunched. You can buy it now.
00:48:25
Speaker
No. No. Yes. You can buy it now. Okay. I'm online. is You can buy it now. It's come out. is this gone ah It's going to be a future quiz, I think, for you, Martin.
00:48:39
Speaker
Oh, really? Spoiler alert. Yeah. Because there's all there's like many, many variations. There's like over 20 variations that have come out by Japanese even, right?
00:48:51
Speaker
bizarre Japanese variations on it with bizarre names. Okay. um They were even, get this, Disney bought the rights to the story of ah Stretch Armstrong, right? Right.
00:49:08
Speaker
um Then they sold it and then Universal Studios bought it. Okay. Four whole scripts, entire scripts were created to make the films and then were ditched.
00:49:21
Speaker
In the meantime, Tim Allen, Danny DeVito were both considered for the role. What, Stretch Armstrong? Yeah. He's just a, I mean, what's the plot?
00:49:32
Speaker
He's just a guy that you stretch. Yeah. Yeah.
00:49:38
Speaker
I'm looking online, Paul. This is going to shock you, but on eBay, as we speak, there is a Stretch Armstrong Kenner 1976 with the original box.
00:49:51
Speaker
How much do you reckon? How much do you think this this particular person... I'm going to say...
00:50:04
Speaker
This person is trying to get away with $829 American dollars for his original box. um It was like originally boxed.
00:50:17
Speaker
Unstretched. Yes. Okay. I didn't realize this, but the original version came with its own repair kit. So if it if you overstretched it, there was a special kind of like, I don't know, silicone something, this substance that you could use to repair him.
00:50:36
Speaker
Jesus Christ. I never had one. I'm just saying, i'm just going to put it out out there that I i never had stretched arm strong. And I'm glad didn't because it looks like one of those things that once I've stretched it, like I've got hold of one of his arms and just stretched it to a like a metre maybe. Yeah.
00:50:56
Speaker
I'd be like, okay, that's it, I'm done. Yeah, and yet he could do more. And yet I could spend 829 bucks and get him. ah what Oh, what? Yes, he can he can do more. He can act, apparently.
00:51:12
Speaker
He can act in in films. Yes, like Danny DeVito. That's a strange pick, isn't it, for casting? I mean, dan yeah Tim Allen's a stretch.
00:51:26
Speaker
but
00:51:29
Speaker
oh Oh, my aching belly for that one. Nice one. Nice one.
00:51:39
Speaker
Oh.
00:51:42
Speaker
51 minutes in. Point me in the eye with a blood stick. And you drop dropped a classic. ah ah it's is' It's made the last 77 episodes worth it, mate, for that.
00:52:03
Speaker
Oh, God. Oh, that's a good one. I like that. ah ah I shall spend the rest of the day smiling now. That's the most exhausting episode we've ever done. Okay.
00:52:16
Speaker
I suppose we should all right go to the outro, probably. right Yes, because you can't do that. because you copy that So let's just... let's just Let's just head on, head on out on that. So it just leaves to say ADHDville is delivered fresh every Tuesday to all purveyors of fine podcasts. Please subscribe to the pod and rate us most boring or most awesome.
00:52:46
Speaker
Yes. And feel free to correspond at Will in the comments. But wait, there's more if you want to see our beautiful, beautiful faces. Hello. Then Sally Forth to the YouTubes.
00:52:56
Speaker
Or Sally Fields. And for now, the TikToks. And you can also find us on Substack. Yes. And you want, you can pick up Will. And soon on Blue Sky as well.
00:53:07
Speaker
Very soon. And we might even relaunch our Instagram page. Anyway. um Yes, exactly. Yeah, so... Pick up a quill and you email us at adhdville at gmail.com.
00:53:19
Speaker
But in the meantime, be fucking kind to yourself. I don't misdead you fellow ideas. Know themselves of the house. Come here and get the flesh. The flesh. That was a... I feel like this is a classic episode, Paul.
00:53:34
Speaker
It is. Come on. I feel this is top five. The cherry. The cherry. is on the... The cherry's perching on the top.
00:53:47
Speaker
There, says the mayor. That's that.
00:53:52
Speaker
Oh.