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00:00:01
"Dana, stop sniffing my wife"
145 Plays1 year ago
Christmas is a magical time of year, but when we have a go at Plot Summary Mad Libs for 1996 American Christmas family comedy film, "Jingle All the Way", Chris put it best: we're left with a bunch of trauma and scarred imagery.
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Movie featured in today's Plot Summary Mad Libs: Jingle all the Way
- 1996 American Christmas family comedy
- Written by Randy Kornfield
- Directed by Brian Levant
- Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sinbad, Rita Wilson, the late Phil Hartman, Jake Lloyd, and 50 Santas
- Budget of $75mil, made over $129mil in the box office
- Currently an 5.6 on IMDb
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Transcript
Introduction and Season Theme
00:00:12
Speaker
from the award winning second highest rated podcast in the world. According to some guy named Phil making your grandmother blush since 2020 and on second watch production. You're now listening to season two. Let's make a movie a plot summary Mad Libs podcast. Let's see how good of friends we are by playing some Mad Libs.
00:00:36
Speaker
This, so I looked normally what I do is I go into IMDB and I find a plot summary that someone had submitted and I didn't find any of them that were really, really good for just splicing some mad libs into
Creating Mad Libs Stories
00:00:49
Speaker
it. So I decided to write my own. So we'll see how this one goes.
00:00:54
Speaker
This is going to be so exciting. It's going to be fun. Oh boy. All right. Which one of our hosts is listed first? Spaz. Oh my God. I'm so happy. It's not me for that. So let's uh, what is spaz's job title? Sanitation.
00:01:26
Speaker
I mean it wasn't a fancy job or nothing it was just like this guy works with garbage I didn't say you could be working in the sewers this might be accurate let's find out I need a product toilet paper all right I need a verb ending an ing
00:01:53
Speaker
farting. And Dana picks up the torch and carries it. She knows me well. She knows me well. All right. Thank you. Love you. And second watch number two. Chris. You're gonna try to get back at me, but it's not gonna work.
00:02:22
Speaker
Alright, I need another verb ending in ing. Slacking. No, you're cut off. No, that's a good one. That's a good one. Fine. Okay, you cut off. Spaz took almost all of them last time. Alright, host number three. Terry. Welcome to the fun.
00:02:50
Speaker
god let's see all right let's go with an adjective frumpy I mean by yourself that's awesome I mean it checks it fits but
00:03:10
Speaker
Excuse me! What are you trying to say here? That I love Keri. I love Keri so much. She's my best friend in the world. Keri the Frumpyness. Keri, fuck off you Frumpy. It's like fuck off Frumpy, is that like just like a new like action figure? That's just how I'm gonna hate. You know. Hey Frumpy, what's up?
00:03:39
Speaker
This is my fuck off frumpy doll. If we have to come up with a toy, Tim, that needs to be the name of it for this. Like it totally does. Fuck off frumpy Fran.
00:03:59
Speaker
There might be, but I stopped doing that because it's just too much work. I have free reign. That means I have free reign too, right? Unlimited power. I'm the reason why.
Dana's Drawing Mishaps
00:04:12
Speaker
Yes. I like to swear.
00:04:16
Speaker
I'm sorry, I had to fill in some blanks here. I got a lot of repeating words, so let's... It's really hard to write shellacking several times. Good. Alright, let's go with another adjective. Uh... Verbal. Flirting. What? I wanna go with flirty. Yeah, I think I said flirting and you gave him flirty. Yeah, I thought so too.
00:04:46
Speaker
I said flirting, yeah. That's... Dispass and shut up, man. I'm going with flirty. Yes. Flirting is a verb. Now I need a verb ending in ing. Confusing. I like how he sounded it out just to make sure. Confusing, yeah. I need another job title here.
00:05:18
Speaker
air traffic manager. Chris, what the fuck, dude? I'm not the only one, Dana's not the only one with the markers. You know, I take that personally. All right, host number four. Tim. Suffer with us. I'll leave Dana alone.
00:05:42
Speaker
She stoned off her ass anyways. By the way, my chicken that was laying an egg now has a turkey next to it. Dana, what are you doing? What? Welcome to the last episode of On Second Watch.
00:06:03
Speaker
where everyone's getting high off markers and... We're shifting over to a food podcast and markers. That's it. 2021, just straight up. On second meal. I could eat. I could eat breakfast. What about first breakfast? All right, I need an adjective. Come on, I've already said like several. Crunchy. Magical. Crunchy.
00:06:35
Speaker
All right. I'm feeling some blinks. Lots of crunch going down. Downtown crunch town. Do do do do do. I think I messed up my words. Oh, 10-0. Fast off, 10-0. I know. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Enhance. Just give me a second. Catching up here.
00:07:05
Speaker
Why do I hear Dana gasping in a pop of a marker top? She's sniffing forward on these markers. It's just like she had an epiphany.
Reading the Mad Libs Story
00:07:13
Speaker
She's like, oh, that needs more marker. Dana, try to draw a perfect circle. Yeah. Oh, listening to a perfect circle. Well, no, no, that, that, no. No, I was drawing a fish and then it turned into a dog. Wait, I'm sorry. Did you turn it into a dog? And it's for my birds. Wait, wait.
00:07:33
Speaker
A dog or a taco? Taco. I heard taco. Oh, a duck. A duck? Wow. Okay. But it's right next to my chicken and my turkey. Well, this is gonna be brilliant. You are not allowed to post this picture. Oh, it's getting posted. It's all right to get posted. I have caught up with my mad lib shenanigans, guys. Sorry. Okay, let's go with the verb. Taxing. Stab.
00:08:06
Speaker
I would like to offer one, but I know one's already been taken, so is there any more verbs? Let's go. Yeah. What do you want to get? Sniffing, for sure. Oh, sniffing. Go sniffing. Yeah. I hope it's a noun, because the next word's going to be ether. No, Sharpie. I got to go with a verb that doesn't have an ING at the end, so I'll just go with sniff. Yeah, there you go. That's fine.
00:08:35
Speaker
Alright, I need another verb. Snoop. Ah, the old sniff-snoop combo.
00:08:42
Speaker
Oh my god! You! I don't even know what that means! I don't like it. I don't like it. I do not like it. It makes no sense. What is there not to like? It is nothing. Oh god, Dana, what has happened? Like, I'm not even capable of knowing right now. She just turned a dog into a duck or some shit. Fish. She doesn't know what's going on. A fish? A fish turned into a duck. Right, yep.
00:09:12
Speaker
Can I get an adjective? Sure. Prickly. All right. All right. One more adjective. That's angry. It is. That's kind of boring, but OK. Fine. Fine. I got another one if you want. Oh, no. Let's see what it is before I change my mind. Sexy. God damn it.
00:09:39
Speaker
I don't know why I have to say sexy like that. I don't know either. And the women don't know why either. I do that with Jurassic Park too.
00:09:59
Speaker
You did something like that. Yeah. I hate to see it. Like if you ever have to cat call or say stuff or like you're married
Comical Developments
00:10:06
Speaker
and she's like, how do I look? You'd like, you look sexy. Yeah. And then you get maced. It was almost the same thing in Jurassic Park, but it was pizza. That's what it was. Pizza. Same thing. All right. We're almost done. Uh, a verb or another one.
00:10:29
Speaker
Yogging, it's heavy on the gym. It's heavy. Awesome. Yogging, really? No, you can pick whatever, I don't know. I apparently hit my limit like 20 minutes ago, so... A verb without the ING is something... Sketch. Don't worry.
00:10:52
Speaker
I don't do Christmas decoration tinsel bells We got tinsel whatever spas said and some bells Between the three
00:11:19
Speaker
All right, Dana. Markers, you're up. What am I doing? You need to pick between tinsel, silver bells, and nutcracker. I'm going nutcracker. That's my girl. Wow. Go sniff more markers and get stoned. Go back to your drawings. See, that's all I'm hearing in my is Dana drawing.
00:11:47
Speaker
Guys, I'm going to pull a card here and I'm going to overwrite Dana's choice and pick Silver Bells because it fits this narrative so perfectly. Well then, if that's what you must do. Well, me and my tinsel are going. I'll remember that. My Nutcracker is very displeased. Yeah, but my Silver Bells are jolly, jolly. Spaz, I do not want to hear about your Silver Bells. This is a family-friendly podcast. Not the one I'm doing on Sunday.
00:12:18
Speaker
That's disturbing. My balls are going to be out. I mean, wow. Whoa. Whoa. Well, this is 11 straight to 11. Oh, my God. My nutcracker really should. Dan, Dan, you might be getting that nutcracker. Yeah. If you keep this shit up. Right. Never mind. I'm going back to nutcracker. I give what? No, you can't.
00:12:48
Speaker
It's done. Let me, let me read this because it's going to be hard enough for me to actually get through this without crying. So my job here is done then. Oh God, bear with me guys. This is going to be bad. All right. Spaz is a sanitation engineer for a toilet paper company who focuses more on his job than his family. Yes.
00:13:17
Speaker
Oh no! Okay. Nope. Can't do it. I feel like I have to take my headphones off to do this. Anyway. Constantly farting on his wife. Constantly farting on his wife, Carrie.
00:13:58
Speaker
I knew one day I'd marry a smart woman Oh No, you can't get away from me carry I will let it
00:14:12
Speaker
and shellacking his son, Chris. Wow. He hit an all-time low when he forgot to buy the hot toy of the year. Frumpy man.
00:14:39
Speaker
God. As is now on a flirty adventure to find this toy, confusing anyone that gets in his way, including an unstable air traffic manager named Tim, who is equally- Fuck you, Tim. That's my frumpy man.
00:14:59
Speaker
If that wasn't bad enough, Spaz's crunchy neighbor Dana is constantly trying to sniff Carrie. This is so close to reality. Spaz's crunchy neighbor Dana is constantly trying to sniff Carrie.
00:15:26
Speaker
Gotta put those markers down sometime. She's gotta sniff something. I smell goddamn delightful, all right. No, that's scary, not when I'm farting all over you. Oh, that's so true. I was busy over here getting shellacked. Will Spaz snoop his marriage and family? Will Carey escape the prickly clutches of Dana?
00:16:04
Speaker
That sentence will be Fred again Chris forgive spaz for being a sexy dad Oh
00:16:27
Speaker
Will Tim sketch his ass to get what he wants? And finally, will Dana get his hand or get her hands on Carrie's Nutcracker?
Conclusion and Reflections
00:16:40
Speaker
it's puppy time jingle all the way well congratulations we've turned this into borderline an assault movie you're not getting part of that accidentally at least no no i'm sorry you're getting relaxed bye my sexy cat
00:17:00
Speaker
Oh my god. Hey, Kim's already wrote it. Yeah, and YouTube is getting over there getting sniffed by Dana. Yeah, Dana. Sniff for good, Dana. Sniff for good. I told Dana last night when I wrote this that it's going to be the most inappropriate Mad Libs of all time. I believe you're correct. Oh my god. Jesus Christ. Yeah, that was the best one yet, man.
00:17:33
Speaker
Alright, well, after that Mad Libs, I think visions of sugar plums aren't the only thing advancing in our heads. Nope, just a bunch of trauma and scarred imagery. That's okay.