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The Core (2003) - "It's whales! It's whales!"
165 Plays2 years ago
Written by Cooper Layne and John Rogers (first draft of Transformers and screenplay for Catwoman), directed by John Amiel. Starring Aaron Eckhart as Dr. Josh Keyes, Hilary Swank as Major Beck Childs, Delroy Lindo as Braz, Stanley Tucci as Dr. Zimsky, Tchéky Karyo as Dr. Leveque, DJ Qualls as Rat, Bruce Greenwood as Commander Bob and Alfre Woodard as Flight Commander Stickley
With a budget of $85mil, it made $74mil in the box office. Currently an 5.5 on IMDb.
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Transcript
Introduction and Listener Engagement
00:00:00
Speaker
Hey listener, this is Tim and I wanted to thank you for checking out our very small indie podcast. I hope you get a chance to laugh with us and find our show an entertaining way to spend your time. And if you do, I have a couple of small favors to ask and then I'll get right on with the show.
00:00:15
Speaker
You would do us a huge favor by sharing our podcast with your friends and also on social media. I'd love to engage with you as well, so feel free to reach out to us on Twitter or Facebook and let us know what you think. I hope to have the opportunity to talk with you soon and maybe even collaborate on a future episode.
00:00:33
Speaker
Now finally, if you want to be a part of the exclusive OSW crew, you can become a member on Ko-fi for only $1 per month. You'll gain access to our Discord server, behind the scenes content, and a chance to participate in our trivia and plot summary Mad Libs. You can find links to everything in our show notes or on oswpodcast.com. Thank you again for tuning in, supporting Indie Podcast, and we'll hopefully talk to you soon. And now, your feature presentation.
00:01:17
Speaker
In the world of big budget blockbusters, travel back in time to explore the epic, and not so epic, movies of yesteryear. This is On Second Watch, a movie nostalgia podcast.
Nostalgic Film Reviews Begin
00:01:39
Speaker
Welcome to On Second Watch, where we first review a film based only on our nostalgia for it and rewatch the movie to see if it's better or worse than we remember. To make things more entertaining, we play Plot Summary Mad Libs, which is exactly how it sounds. We take the plot of the film, and my co-host provides some replacement words. And we create a new plot that is equal parts hilarious and very inappropriate. And as Chris, I think you stated last time, borderline offensive. It's quite offensive. Yes, yes. We're way past the line on this one.
00:02:09
Speaker
We push the boundaries. We are habitual line steppers. Yeah. Except for Nikki. Except for Nikki. She's the safe one in this group. I'd say she balances this out, but it's just like a drop in a giant bucket of inappropriateness. And it's true. I'll try to mix it up this time, guys. Yeah, get dirty with it. Don't listen to Dan.
00:02:34
Speaker
They gotta get dirty.
Trivia Game Segment
00:02:36
Speaker
We also introduced a high stakes game of trivia, where the winner has the power to choose the next category for spin the wheel. And since Carrie's won it every single time, she is facilitating our trivia. Boo y'all. So she can't win.
00:02:51
Speaker
It's going to probably have like some mathematical equation about like the course density. There's no equations. I will not do, I really thought about being a jerk and making one question, but I got vetoed literally by Tyler who didn't think I was funny at all. So that really worked in your paper. So you were going to drop a science joke and everyone else would have been like,
Meet the Co-Hosts
00:03:15
Speaker
Well, my name is Tim, your master of ceremonies, if you will. And we also have our B movie expert, which I would consider this a B movie, Chris. Yes. And, uh, the lovable Dana has returned seeing most films for the first time, including this one. Yep. I'm here. Uh, our resident PhD carry, who is going to confirm that this film is 100% scientifically accurate.
00:03:39
Speaker
BS. Absolutely not. No, no. It's 100% legit there was gimbals involved. Oh God. The only ray of innocence on this podcast who chooses words like brick, coffee, and rake in our last plot summary Mad Libs, Nikki.
00:03:59
Speaker
You're as guilty as charged. Things outside my house. I mean, coming up with words, you know, on the fly, you just look around. I just imagine you like staring out the window. Yes. Brick. Well, actually, I was referencing brick from Anchorman who said, I love lamp. And I said, I'm like, brick. I look around the room and name things that I see.
00:04:24
Speaker
It's got some bricks. Just to be clear. No, I said lamp. And then I said, I'm like brick. I look around the room and, and then Tim said, I heard brick. I'm writing, I'm writing it down.
00:04:37
Speaker
And the man that needs no introductions, spaz. Are you typing? I am typing. Dan can barely read. I got to watch my porn sometimes. He's typing in thesaurus.com. Yeah, obviously. Thesaurus. I don't know words. I don't know what nouns enacted to sound. Thesaurus Rex. Oh, man. So we spun the wheel on the category of disaster movies and landed on 2003's American Science Fiction.
00:05:05
Speaker
Very fiction disaster film. The core carry was a disaster. Yeah. Fucking carry. You are welcome. Being the can all be winners. And we have a lot to talk about and it's going to be fun. So you know what? Deal with it. I scraped some bare bottom of barrels and watching some movies and this movie. God damn.
00:05:28
Speaker
Smooth socks. This is just goddamn. But I'm just going to say this, just so it can be on the record, it was still better than the sand though.
Analyzing 'The Core'
00:05:38
Speaker
But the sand had a man stuck in like a garbage can. He was the highlight of the entire movie. What was his name? I don't remember. Tim, I tried to block most of that movie out. I'm pretty sure the majority of the funny went to the one topless scene. That's about it. Pretty much. True.
00:05:57
Speaker
So the core was written by Cooper Lane and John Rogers. And I looked through their filmography and the best I could come up with is they wrote the first draft of Transformers and the screenplay for Catwoman. So. Wow. That explains a shit ton. Directed by John Emil starring Aaron Eckhart as Dr. Josh Keys, Hilary Swank as Major Beck Child.
00:06:23
Speaker
We have Delroy Lindo as brass, Stanley Tucci as Dr. Zimsky. And we have cheeky Kerrio as Dr. What's the V the VK? I don't know. I forget. DJ qualities as the rat and Bruce Greenwood as commander Bob and Alfrey Woodard as flight commander Stickley with a cast this large. And there were still plenty of other people that I saw as like, Hey, that guy's in that movie.
00:06:52
Speaker
or that TV show, no good. With a budget of 85 million, it made a whopping 74 million in the box office. How? That's about 70 more than I thought it should have been. Honestly, it had to bend that cast.
00:07:10
Speaker
But it currently sits at a 5.5 on IMDB. Yes. God, it's at a 5.5. I love people so much. All right. So before we dive into our thoughts, you've already get a gist of where this is going to go. Carrie, if you will, let's knock out some trivia of the core.
00:07:38
Speaker
You're all gonna hate me so much, and I'm so excited to do this. This is wonderful. We'll see. I will never be allowed to do trivia ever again, probably after today. We'll see, but... Let's slide in. In short, this will be multiple choice questions. And again, speed does matter. You ready? There's a first. You can cut that out.
00:08:05
Speaker
My name of the game man. Okay flash. Let's go. They call me quick do this go question one from where does the expedition launch is it the Tonga trench the Aleutian trench the Sunday trench or the Mariana trench Couldn't only heard of one of these. Oh, this one is easy for me. Yay Damn it
00:08:29
Speaker
But Chris doesn't say anything near to Dana. I just realized that I didn't. I just blocked it out. Yeah. I want to know who did Tonga. That would be me. That's an actual trench and it's not too far off. So it's okay.
00:08:49
Speaker
Correct answer, everybody, was the Mariana Trench, the place that scares me the most on Earth. Okay. In the lead, Chris. Damn it, Chris. At four seconds. Nikki also got it correct with six seconds. Tim also got it correct at seven seconds. Ooh, tight race.
00:09:06
Speaker
Dickhead Dan and Dana both missed this question. Yes All right, you guys ready for question two? No cuz it's so bad. I don't care Question two the name of their ship was the Virgil and
00:09:23
Speaker
What was the name of this space shuttle that landed in the LA River? I really should read the answer questions. The CGI of that goddamn ship was so bad. I love how they just added like little wind trails and almost like there you go. All the CGI in this movie was terrible. I promised you guys I watched this movie but I did not record any of it. Oh poor Dana.
00:09:50
Speaker
As we all, well, everybody but Dana knows the correct answer is the Endeavor. Let's go to the scores. Tim takes the lead. Coming in front at 12 seconds with both questions.
00:10:04
Speaker
Chris is right behind at 14 seconds, also with two corrects. Nikki's in third place, also with two corrects, but at 18 seconds. Dan got one, so that's good. And Dana, now I'm just pulling for you to win. So Dana is in last place with no corrects, but I'm really pulling for you here.
00:10:23
Speaker
Yeah, she's not going to win. Thank you. I'm not going to. I already know this. Too bad. I have faith in you. You got this. I don't. I'm glad somebody does. Thank you. There are eight questions in this quiz and we're only through two. Sweet Christ. I know. And that was cutting it back. I made Tim give me a maximum so that way I wouldn't stress you guys out. So next question. God, you're crazy. Question three. The bird attack shown occurs in Trafalgar Square in London. Where do they say the other similar attacks had occurred?
00:10:55
Speaker
Japan and Australia. You're one of those kind of professors is like on page five article. I said sign on Mexico. I got this fucking wrong. God damn it.
00:11:10
Speaker
As soon as I hit sent I was like, oh no, I got it wrong because it's Japan in Australia Nick demonstrating how detail-oriented she is with three out of three and 31 seconds This is in second place still with two questions 23 Tim in third
00:11:31
Speaker
Dan, the dickhead, still in fourth. Dana, you're still at zero, man. You're still at zero, but I still love you and I'm pulling for you. All right, ready for question four. It's gonna happen. It's gonna happen for you.
00:11:47
Speaker
Alright, question four. What was the military rank of Hillary Sway's character Rebecca Childs? Easy question. Very easy. Is it? But it's not! So easy, they said it! Oh you guys, I tried to give easy questions and this was like the easiest I thought. Well, it really wasn't. Here's, wait a second, it's both! It's two!
00:12:10
Speaker
No, she was one. She only goes by one in her introduction. Oh, damn. She starts as one, but by the end, she's another. Well, no, she didn't get promoted until after. They actually don't show her getting rid of her. She wasn't at the commander at the end there. She was still not the commander at the end. Okay. The answer is major.
00:12:30
Speaker
I promise you guys, at the end of this trivia, when I give my review, you're gonna understand my lack of not giving an answer. I'm so excited, Dana. I'm so excited. The suspense is killing me if Dana's gonna go 0 for 8. I know, I'm so excited. Dana, now I just hope that you can somehow guess the wrong answer eight times.
00:12:55
Speaker
hard enough. It gives me something to strive for, right? That's all you can ask for. In first place, still Nikki, detail oriented Nikki with four out of four, correct. Then followed by Tim, Chris, and then way behind is Dan and then sweet, sweet child Dana. Say my name, right. Dickhead. There you go. Question five, what type of scientist and professor is Dr. Keys? Easy question.
00:13:25
Speaker
That one wasn't easy. Is it? Yes. Is it? Yes. Is a geophysicist a thing? It is apparently in this movie. Is it? People were still answering, so I'm not going to say a word. It was me. I was like trying to decide between a geologist and geophysicist. It was geophysicist. Geophysicist is a real thing. Yeah, almost definitely. It is a geophysicist. Pretty much like half of the characters in this movie were geophysicists.
00:13:54
Speaker
I've just never heard of that, so I was going to guess geologist. Oh, Dana. Oh, Dana. I think she guessed Abe, whatever Abe was. Astronaut or astronomer? I can't remember what I put. She's an oranomist.
00:14:12
Speaker
In first place, it's still Nikki, five out of five, booyah. Followed by Tim and Chris, way behind his dickhead, damn. And sweet Dana. Now we're just going to go for the goose egg. I'm so pumped. I just got to say, Nikki, you got to watch out because if we flip flop one question, Chris and I both have like 13 plus seconds on you. Well, we were like two seconds apart till that last question when I started.
00:14:37
Speaker
reason if a geophysicist is a real thing. I'm pissed on the last question because I hit submit and it didn't register on my phone. That's what happened. Likely story. I'm still at third place, but I would have been closer to Tim, I think with like 42 seconds. Well, there are still several questions left for you to win this with. To get wrong? I mean, very definitely so. Next question.
00:15:06
Speaker
What material, common in science fiction, is the whole of the Virgil made from? Is it unobtainium? Oh Dana, come on. You guys get the Viridiania. No, but now I want to go for the goose egg, even though I know the answer. I guess one answer that's so obviously not it, Dana. I gave you one here. No, no, I'm going for the goose egg. Oh, but yeah, you failed. What? I didn't answer them.
00:15:36
Speaker
Go for philosopher's stone cuz that's Harry Potter I Wouldn't I wouldn't know I've only seen one of those so oh my god Dana. What the hell? Really? Yeah, how's that possible? That's a cover these for weird. I like how you still are over six though Dana even though you are last one, right? Oh
00:15:55
Speaker
No, she didn't submit it. I didn't submit it. I actually pressed it and then didn't submit it. She timed out. That's fantastic. In first place is still Nikki with six points, followed by Tim and Chris. Dan now is at least at batting 500. So there's that. That's right. And then Dana's still with the goose head. Just don't want to answer the next two, Dana. No, I think she should have to. That way, like, it's gonna be a challenge to get the goose head.
00:16:24
Speaker
Do it, Dana. Do it. You got this. Next question, which I believe is the penultimate. If I can count. Oh, suck. Is it... Sagan, Einstein, or Newton? Yeah. No. No clue.
00:16:48
Speaker
But I guess quickly. Oh, you guys. Dana, do it. Did you submit? Oh, you did. I did. I did submit. Oh, god. Oh, no, I'm wrong. Damn it. Oh, no. Oh, no.
00:17:04
Speaker
First of all, I knew this would be a tough question, but as a science geek, I am so disappointed that this was a tough question. I should have known it was Carl Sagan. Well, Branz called him out for it, didn't he? Yes. He literally said his name in the movie. See, I saw Einstein on the... Wasn't Einstein's name on the banners at the museum? That's kind of why it went with it.
00:17:31
Speaker
All right, moving on. That last question, you ready? So we've got three people tied with six out of seven points. So now Tim swoops into the lead with six points in 50 seconds. Chris is nine seconds behind, and Nikki is significantly behind. So Nikki, you need to get this next one. Dan is still now batting under 500, so that sucks. That's what I like. That's what I like. And sweet, sweet Dana.
00:18:00
Speaker
It doesn't even need to be said. Last question. What type of rock is responsible for Bob's death?
00:18:08
Speaker
Is it a diamond, a garnet, an amethyst, or a quartz? He was the commander. Then I was making a card. The commander. I can't, I guess it was that one. He was, it got a phone to the, like the lava. Oh, Jesus Christ, I did it again. That's the Terminator. Uh-oh. It was an amethyst. You know what, I would have X'd together, right?
00:18:35
Speaker
Yeah, she got it. Damn it. Tim came in with seven. So Tim is the winner. Tim's first time competing. He is the winner. So congratulations. Good job, Tim. Shot her. I guess I'm paying attention. See, Tim already knows why this went the way it did for me.
00:19:01
Speaker
No, we all should feel that way. I can't wait. I can't wait to tell you guys what he was doing. I can't wait. Were you sleeping? No. Oh, no. Sniffing markers? I was definitely, no. But I was definitely awake this entire time.
00:19:18
Speaker
Yes. Yeah, I was watching this movie and I kept looking over at Dana. She was just like, oh, Jesus. All right. Well, okay. T was not abused at all. Fair enough. Yeah, same thing here because I made him watch it with me. He was not happy about that. Tim had already watched it twice. Yes. I was like, oh my gosh, how did you ... He was like, oh, it looked like a good cast. Then he's like, years later it was on again, so he just watched it.
00:19:46
Speaker
So why not? What a treat. Yeah, exactly. The treat it was. Well, I got to say, so if we're going to jump into Mad Libs here, should I do the order of hosts as the order of this trivia? Tim just put my name wherever you see fit because we all know how this is going to work out. Just let it happen. Dear God, just let it happen. Just get it over with.
00:20:14
Speaker
Alrighty then, I need six nouns. Look at Nikki coming in with one that could
Plot Summary Mad Libs
00:20:24
Speaker
become sexual. See, I'd mix it up. Dirty. Corn. Oh God. Map. Corn.
00:20:39
Speaker
Alright. Peach. Toilet. Bag. Because it's insulting. I hope it's used to like, be a person. Like, please let it be. Time will tell. Alright, I need nine adjectives. Useless. Wrinkly. Course. Slippery. Flacid. Aw, yeah. Quaint.
00:21:10
Speaker
What did you say? Oh, God, please don't. Yes. Did you say flap spans? Yes, I did. Flappy. Flappy. Whatever the fuck you want to go with it. Flaptastic. Yeah. All right. Flaptastic. I need 14 verbs. Holy shit. Skinny dipping. Good luck with that. Let's see what happens. Drilling. Massage. Sinking. How many more do we need? Like nine?
00:21:39
Speaker
Oh my god, so many. Yeah. Rassle. I believe that it's pronounced rassle. Rassle. Devour. Squeeze. We're halfway there, guys. We can do it. I believe in you. Dana, you pick one. Oh, OK. I'm sorry. I was having a coughing attack for a minute. Oh, OK. Rude. So rude. Sorry, we're on verbs, right? Coughing.
00:22:09
Speaker
Yeah, you do copying because that's exactly what I was doing. Drink. Stink. Yeah, only the raunchy ones today and that's not good. What is fine? Wet? Yeah. It's I guess it can be a whistle. I thought we're doing verbs. I guess like Kerry's trying to help him out. Spaz wet himself accounts.
00:22:39
Speaker
We got a thrust real hard pull throw that in there in gorge not in golf in gorge One more did you get thrust I did
00:22:53
Speaker
I mean, I can go there. Chiring. There you go. I feel like it's like, now it's just low-hanging fruit. We're gonna talk about a movie of drilling things. That's literally the subject of this movie. It's gonna be bad. I'm gonna send you a gif that sums up this entire movie. I don't want that. Oh, I'm sending it. I don't want it. Oh crap, I need one more. Uh-oh. Medicaid. That works. Now for the random ones. I need an awkward thing people used to do.
00:23:21
Speaker
Just, what was like a popular... They used to do, but not anymore. Like a popular thing in pop culture that used to be cool, but now it's like, eh. The Macarena? There you go. Go with it. Go with it. It was always awkward. A random feature on a new car. Back up, camera. That'll do. A cylinder-shaped object. Pringles can. Damn it, that's what I was going to say. The fun don't stop.
00:23:51
Speaker
Alright. A type of weapon. A scythe. That is so oddly specific and I appreciate it. Sorry, you used nunchuck last week. I'll walk by sound a lot of you scythe. This week is Raphael. Yes. Best one. Exactly. Thank you, Nikki. Thank you, Nikki. I'll take that back. No, she will not because he was the best one. He's kind of a bitch in some of the movies, but...
00:24:15
Speaker
How dare you? He was. I will fight you. Come on, Raphael. But he's still my favorite. I'm gonna fight you, Nicky. I will win. I know you will, but I'm still gonna fight you. Hey, guess what, guys? I forgot. I need another verb. Are you a leader? Come on. I know. Mosito. There you go. I don't want to do it. Refuse.
00:24:44
Speaker
All right, I need a word that starts with S. Sassy. Sassy works. How about a word that starts with E? Eureka. That's a good word. Euphemism. I was going to say elastic. I also would have worked. Engorge. A famous celebrity.
00:25:08
Speaker
Sandra Bullock, don't bring poor Sandy into this. Too late. She made fun of them all at the seashells. Yeah. A word that starts with T. Tacos. Oh my God. Tacos, yes. I like tacos. Speaking of tacos, I need a food. Pie. Any particular kind of pie or just... Sorry. Probably warm apple. Yeah, but it's just like warm apple pie.
00:25:37
Speaker
No, I would not. Cherry pie? That works. Great. Now I have cheese. A word that starts with D. Dumbass. I knew Spaz was going to go with dumbass. I was thinking of me, that's why. I was thinking of you, too.
00:25:59
Speaker
a popular TV show. Sorry, Springer. Is that popular, Chris? Uh, it was popular. The Maury Povich show. Popular in the nineties. You are not the father. Donahue. Hey, tell us how old you are. All right.
00:26:27
Speaker
I need a body part. Forehead. Yes. It's a weed. Wrinkly forehead. A heavy object. Me. Dammit, you took my answer again. A brick. A liquid. A large brick. Stop it.
00:26:53
Speaker
It's a brick made out of wood. It's an industrial brick. A palette of bricks? Yes, perhaps. It's one brick that makes many bricks. It's like a Lego of bricks. A liquid.
00:27:14
Speaker
Oh my gosh. Prebiotics. What was it called? Nikki Ollie? What's it called? Ollie Pop. Ollie Pop is definitely our liquid of choice today. Yes, with prebiotics and great for your digestive system. Buy now. Not until they sponsor us. It's a million dollars. I need an aquatic life form. An amigo. Orcas are now known as Oreos though.
00:27:41
Speaker
That's true. Got to go with it. Sounds good. Go with it. Was that in the movie? Huh? No, no, no, not in the movie. Okay. It's got to be a kid thing. Either that or either that or so cute. Or it's a marker. It was not my kid, but it's too adorable. Please play the It's Whales. It's Whales clip.
00:28:21
Speaker
over and over for
00:28:29
Speaker
All right, that is all of them. Let's hope this worked. Are you going to use your new program there, Tim? I did, and I think it worked. The one you built in Excel. I'm excited. I'm not talking about this. All righty, here we go.
00:28:44
Speaker
Through a series of bizarre incidents, such as random people suddenly skinny dipping in front of everyone, and pigeons straight up drilling people, a group of useless scientists conclude that Earth's core has stopped medicating. And if it doesn't start medicating again, it will cause the world to do the Macarena until everyone is dead. Yeah, god. That's better than an actual movie so far. Brutal whisker.
00:29:11
Speaker
Those wrinkly scientists are Dr. Carey, the coarse popsicle, and geophysicists who designed the backup camera system of their vessel called the Pringles can.
00:29:31
Speaker
What an accomplishment. High fives across the board. We have Dr. Nikki, the slippery map and size specialist. Gross. Oh, no. And finally, Dr. Chris, the flaccid corn.
00:30:03
Speaker
In designer of project destiny which stands for dumb ass Eureka sassy tacos initiative
00:30:10
Speaker
Okay. Sassy tacos. Tacos can be sassy. The government tasked them with traveling to the core to massage it and sink the planet. They recruit the help from two quaint pilots to lead the mission. The first is Spaz, the moist peach. Oh no. Yes.
00:30:29
Speaker
That's some stink butt. Yep. Wash your ass. Spaz the moist peach commander charged with vetoing the crew and their second command, Major Sandra Bullock, who will watch and learn how Spaz vetoes. There's also Tim, the soft toilet.
00:30:52
Speaker
Tim, the soft toilet designer of the Pringles can who wants to wrestle Dr. Chris for devouring his inventions. How dare you, sir? Well, we've seen him at daddy's. I believe the two dinners that waitress will never be the same. And finally, there's Dana, the flappy bag hack hacker. Oh,
00:31:18
Speaker
who was arrested for squeezing the government and agrees to cough the planet for a box set of Jerry Springer and an unlimited supply of cherry pie. Their world-saving trip proves deadly for most of the crew. First, Commander Spaz is...drinked in the wrinkly forehead by a falling Lego of bricks falling into a pool of Ollie Pop. Pre-Pionics! I'm getting those Pre-Pionics for real, man.
00:31:45
Speaker
That's right. Then Dr. Nicky is thrusted to death. Oh man. After the Pringles can is breached soon after Tim wets himself to save the crew. That actually worked really well. By pulsing the Pringles can. Wow.
00:32:10
Speaker
That's why you want yourself Tim Tim got overstimulated You know the fun don't stop 4,000 degrees will kill you finally dr. Chris
00:32:23
Speaker
has a nuke and gorgeous wrinkly forehead. Yes, he does. Ouch. Preventing him from fleeing the compartment. Yeah, because of the nuke in my forehead. Using science, Dr. Carey and Sandra Bullock escape the core, gyrate each other in celebration, and use a herd of Oreo sounds to signal for rescue.
00:32:50
Speaker
Oh my god, so that's that didn't turn out as dirty as it could have but and I got Sandy Bullock in the end. So I'm just throwing that out there like Gyrating with Sandra sounds like a great biography. Yep. Absolutely
00:33:06
Speaker
I don't like that. Anything with gyrations? It's good. Good to go. Well, let's jump into our review of this film. So Dana, I had guessed that your nostalgia review was going to end up being a three. And I think you told me before we watched it, it was going to be a two or a three just based off of what I explained the plot was.
00:33:34
Speaker
Yep. Would you like to take us away? So trivia was just a precursor to what was happening, in my mind at least. Obviously this was not the greatest movie in the history of mankind. The reason why I couldn't remember any actual details of the movie was because now we have this all-star cast here and what was happening was I would see somebody and then I'd start thinking all the nostalgia I have of other things that they were in.
00:33:57
Speaker
See Aaron Eckhart start thinking about the dark night a few people from the TV show the resident and I started thinking about the resident and oh my god What's the season finale gonna be and then I saw Hillary swank and I started thinking about the show away Oh, I can't forget. What is it Stanley Stanley Stanley Tucci? Yeah, I can't forget him because all I kept thinking of was that creepy smile from the Hunger Games Every freaking time he showed up. It's your favorite thing on earth. Yeah, so I
00:34:23
Speaker
Let me clarify really quick. It's the very first Hunger Games movie where Katniss gets hit by the Trackerjackers and he appears in the woods and he stares very awkwardly, saying that Trackerjacker Venom is a powerful hallucination. I would send Dana that gif ad nauseam all the time. Just randomly dropping your inbox.
00:34:43
Speaker
Oh yeah. Even though I was watching the movie and I took most of it in, I just kept getting taken away to other things at the same time, which is why I couldn't remember anything except the unobtanium, which I forgot to send. Whatever. But it was really hard for me to stay focused on the movie. I don't think everybody else has these problems. That's okay.
00:35:04
Speaker
Oh, I definitely think about what else people are in. I do that every movie I watch. But maybe it doesn't take me as deep into a, you know, reminiscing as you were doing. Yeah. Well, like, I don't think normally there's so many people that are in things that just kept popping into my mind. And it just, it happened over and over again in this movie.
00:35:26
Speaker
Because I'm sure that the list actually went deeper than that. I just picked a few right off the top of my head. I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling you how Hilary Swank's character does better going into space than going into the ground kind of a thing. So, you know, it probably didn't help that the movie wasn't that well written, but you know, whatever. I'm just going to leave it at a three. We're going to go there. It gave me nostalgia for other things so it went.
00:35:50
Speaker
And Aaron Eckhart looked like a baby, and I looked it up. He's our age, guys. That makes me sad. Wait, what? He's our age? Our age? Well, in that film, he's our age. Oh, I was like, wow. Oh my god. Yeah. Yeah, that. I'm like, he was in Aaron Brackovich. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I was. Yeah.
00:36:07
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, he looks so young, it's due to all the hair highlighting he has. Yeah, his hair was so bad in that movie. Oh my gosh. Do I actually look like a professor? He looks like every professor I know. I actually did some time with my mind wandering about how bad his hair looked, speaking of it.
00:36:24
Speaker
Then it comes back with a three with her rewatch spaz. You give it the next lowest of a three. Yeah, because the only redeeming thing about this movie is the cast and also Hillary Swank hot or not. This movie, I'd hit it. But I was going to make that question nine. I was going to make that question nine.
00:36:47
Speaker
Because every time she came on, every time she was on screen, the office came just popped into my head. So that question. Not going to lie, turned to Tim and said the same thing while we were watching it. Of course. But I just said hot or not. Exactly. So there you go. But that in the late 80s, mid to late 80s CGI of them
00:37:10
Speaker
You know turning through the crust and the core and all that crap i'm pretty sure tron had better special yeah that this movie sucks so much balls. I couldn't concentrate on it i was mostly on my phone during the entire movie.
00:37:27
Speaker
But yeah, the cast was fan. I mean, you can't beat that cast. I don't know why they would do this movie. Why they think it was well, yeah, it had to be a lot of money because this I mean, come on, do better. But yeah, I'm gonna drop it down to a two because I hated my life during the entire time watching this movie. So
00:37:47
Speaker
Fuck you, Carrie, for choosing this movie and eat shit and die. The Wheel of Destiny chose this movie, Dan? No, you chose to put it on the Wheel of Destiny, you anus. You're welcome. God damn I hated this movie. I was wondering why our podcast got rejected on Rotten Tomatoes when Spaz says this movie is a piece of shit. Well, am I lying? No. It's not my fault Rotten Tomatoes is a thump. Nope.
00:38:16
Speaker
All right. Sorry. Harsh criticism, you boners. That was directed to you, Rotten Tomatoes. Fuck you. Okay. All right. I'm done talking. Thank you. Fuck. I'm sorry. This movie angered me. Sorry. All right. Stupid fucking birds flying in every words. We'll move on. All right. Nikki, how about you?
00:38:36
Speaker
stuff. Okay, we got it. All right, I'm gonna be an outlier here. Actually, I don't remember what I rated it originally. Did I give it a five? Okay, yeah, I'm saying a five actually. So, all right. And that's because Carrie, yeah, you did give us fair warning that you have to like
00:39:01
Speaker
be prepared for it to be so bad right that's good and so it was very very prepared for it to be really really shitty but it was very entertaining the only reason i i i stayed in the middle because
00:39:17
Speaker
I very much was entertained. It was funny, but there was one thing that did anger me throughout the watching. This was the biggest ripoff of Armageddon I have ever seen. The whole movie, it was like the beginning. Oh, let's collect all the experts for this thing. Let's do the montage of building the ship or the drill in Armageddon.
00:39:41
Speaker
When the scene came where they drew straws for who takes the death mission I was like, that's it. They drew straws. This is such a ripoff of Armageddon and we could have watched Armageddon. But Armageddon was at least more realistic because it was, you know,
00:39:57
Speaker
in space and not like in the earth. So that did anger me. But overall, I'm getting angry again. Did anyone else see that parallel? Or was it just because I did? Because I did too. I everything you just said, I was like, Oh, my God.
00:40:13
Speaker
Armageddon vibes. Yeah, and then I was doing some reading up on it and Ebert said the same thing. Really? Yeah, look at that. So anyways, that's probably why they made this movie is because Armageddon made so much like they made so many disaster movies right after this, like right after Armageddon. There were so many of them impact this one.
00:40:35
Speaker
day after tomorrow. Was that actually before or after Armageddon? I feel like that was around the same time. It was around the same time. Yeah. So they probably didn't copy because they were making it at the same time, right?
00:40:48
Speaker
Anyways, I don't know, but the point is this one really struck a chord that I felt like it was copying Armageddon and it didn't have Bruce Willis in it. So I'm like, what the hell? I mean, it had Aaron Eckhart, but Stanley Tucci, you were right, Kerry, he was very redeeming his character. Like from the moment he stepped in the scene in the movie, his first scene, I'm like, okay, he's funny in this movie. I was very much entertained, but I don't ever need to watch it again. So I'm just right in the middle. It was forced to watch it again.
00:41:16
Speaker
Oh, so this was your second watch? Yes, it was. It's crap. How was it on second watch, Stan? Ta-da. Did you not hear the angry rant I gave you about this? Exactly. Did I not call you an anus? I called you an anus. You should know this. All right, Chris, let's hear your take. Oh, God. What did I give it? You gave it a five. Wow.
00:41:43
Speaker
Boy, howdy. Yeah, so the core. It's a movie. Yeah. That I had to watch. Yeah. So in the spirit of us going into this movie, like Nikki said, knowing full well, it was a dumpster filled with napalm. I'm going to give it a four. How dare you? And hey, I'm not done. You should be bored.
00:42:10
Speaker
If I was judging this movie in and of itself of just being a movie, I'd give it a negative number. But in the spirit of this being deliberately shitty, it gets to four.
Critique of 'The Core' CGI
00:42:22
Speaker
I would rank it higher, Carrie, if it was so bad, I chuckled at scenes. But every CGI reminded me of something I'd pay two dollars to see at a mall in the year of 1996. You really didn't laugh at this, Chris? It's cringe-worthy.
00:42:39
Speaker
I was like, I was trying to watch it. There was some scenes where I laughed. I think I laughed at like, Aaron Eckhart's like crazy acting when the guy was getting crushed. Yeah, like surge in the can, literally. He just like goes off on it. And I think I more about, I think I laughed more about Stanley Tucci's hair than anything.
00:43:03
Speaker
Rocking in this movie, that's for sure. I appreciate the fact that every person in this movie didn't just play a role. They played a caricature of that role. Stanley Tucci playing the bad scientist. I mean, with full on wearing a like overcoat with his arms not in it, smoking a cigarette. I was like, really? This is what we're doing? Okay.
00:43:30
Speaker
In no time, but yet I must smoke a cigarette. It's like the evil villain overcoat over the shoulders to every military person this movie being like a deliberate like hard ass like over the top. But I'm lowering a point just on the CGI alone. Shame on you. Shame on you for making me watch this terrible, terrible CGI.
00:43:51
Speaker
That rocket ship, that rocket ship, he spotted a 360 with little wind tails. My favorite part was every time anyone, it doesn't matter if they were in the virtual ship or a spaceship, they mimicked how bad it was by camera A going, all right, here we go. I'm shaking the camera. Everyone act like it's really bouncy. And everyone just sat there stone face while the camera guy basically bounced all over the place.
00:44:21
Speaker
It wasn't wind, it was plasma, Chris. Yeah. It was probably chock full of prebiotics, too. I don't give a shit. You know what? This movie was made in 2003. These graphics should have been so much better. CGI should have been so much better. Chris, you insulted Jurassic Park CGI, and I ripped on you for that, because I thought you were ridiculous. And now you're seeing 10 years later, you're ripping on this CGI. How dare you insult Jurassic Park like that? I ripped on Jurassic Park CGI. Take it back.
00:44:50
Speaker
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, because my memory is absolutely terrible. Oh, you did? You did. There were a couple moments that we were ripping on. Okay. I was going to say, because the dinosaur creation in Jurassic Park is second to none. It's one of the best work I've ever seen. It was revolutionary, too. Yes. Yes. Yeah. So there must have been specific scenes, like Tim said, that I made fun of something.
00:45:12
Speaker
I think you just pulled a Chris who wanted to piss Carrie off. That's what I think. But I don't really remember what even happened last week, so I don't know what I said. It is in the spirit of going into it knowing full well it was just going to be, like you said, a dumpster fire that otherwise mine would have been a lot lower too. Carrie prefaced like she deliberately picked this because it's one of her movies where it's so bad it's good for her. I think she just wanted to piss me off.
00:45:38
Speaker
Dan, if we wanted to pitch- Job done well. Task failed successfully. Yes. So I don't know about Jurassic Park. I don't remember this. I'm going to have Tim remember for me because he probably knows where it's at. Well, I will find it. I know. But yes, I'm giving it a four, Kerry. I appreciate you
00:46:01
Speaker
letting me watch this so I can keep such classics lines like, it's a Crystal Grand Canyon. So good. And the fact that Bruce Greenwood just fucking ate it got it all out of nowhere.
00:46:19
Speaker
And then pulled a Terminator exit. Yep. Yes. That was the best exit of it. I'm watching this movie and all of a sudden it's just like, thwomp. I'm just like, did that? Yep. The only thing you've got to do is give the thumbs up while he's going down. I was like, that dude just fucking ate it with a crystal. I'm now intrigued. And then, yeah, then it just got worse. And then the movie kept going. Should've just ended right there.
00:46:41
Speaker
I also loved how NASA somehow had like a map all the way. They can like track them. I'm not a scientist, but the whole part where it's like, I didn't plan on calculating empty space. I'm like, you really? Really? You thought it was going to be 100% filled this entire time. Like there was never going to be any pockets anywhere that had empty space. I was like, I don't know.
00:47:11
Speaker
You know what that map of them going down to the core reminded me of? Austin Powers.
00:47:17
Speaker
That's exactly what I thought, Jim. I'm so happy you said that. It reminded me of something else. I posted it in the Discord channel. Yeah, I got it. Yes, you did. That's what it looks like the whole time. It's a great health class, yep. Yes. That's all I kept thinking. It was just like, yep, we're going to go and fertilize the egg. Let's call it the intro to Look Who's Talking. Yeah. The Virgil is a giant sperm. What if this movie was the entire prequel to Look Who's Talking?
00:47:46
Speaker
See, now I'd be interested in that. Now it'd be just like bonkers. And I'd be like, oh, okay. So I'll just do euphemism. There you go, Chris. I used your word. Yes. Thank you. I appreciate that. I appreciate you for using that word. You're welcome. Adorable. Kiri, do you want to go next or do you want me to? Oh, I want you to go, Tim.
00:48:05
Speaker
Alright guys, we know this movie is awful. The CGI, I was laughing just because of how bad it was. Chris, you said it, when the Endeavor spacecraft comes across the screen and then slowly rotates and then flips up, I'm like, what is happening? It looks like clipart from Encarta 95. It is so bad. It's also like 20 feet above Dodger Stadium and then magically is high enough to begin a landing again. I'm so confused by that. I'm trapped.
00:48:34
Speaker
And then plus they use for all the, for all the, uh, the, the tense moments where they're, you know, spiraling, you know, going through the core and between crystals and stuff. You just see them in their, in their ship bouncing around. Then it just shows their shitty CGI screen of their mapped view, which it's like, it's not really intense. It looks like a cartoon of something I've seen long time ago.
00:48:58
Speaker
It wasn't very tense and they could have done a much better job, but they didn't. They wasted their time, their money, everything. It was just not good CGI at all. And I feel like if this movie was made now with CGI that looks legit, I'd watch the hell out of this movie because it's a popcorn action flick. I don't care if the science doesn't make sense. I don't give a shit. Just yes.
00:49:19
Speaker
Go blow some stuff up and make it dangerous let people just die one by one as per the usual these action movies is just Everybody has to has their moment. I guess but remake this movie with better CGI don't remake this I'm with Tim on this remake this movie I would go to the theaters and watch the hell of this movie was remade with you as the director Not this guy
00:49:58
Speaker
Let the ship morph into a transformer at the end, you know, just Oh, yeah, let's transform it has to transform at the end. So just
00:50:07
Speaker
It has to be redone. I will watch this. And all that said and done, you know, the actors did the best that they could with what they had. Stanley Tucci, I thought was great, especially when he was losing his mind when they decided they were not going to. Yeah, that was so good. Just seeing him his panic that he's basically going to die was great. I thought it was just that part of it was was fine. I tried to block out the science side of things because I thought it was just ridiculous in more ways than one. But that is why I have faith in this movie. Guys, I'm giving it a six.
00:50:37
Speaker
I love you too. Oh my god. Because I think it had all the potential there, but whoever decided this was the CGI route we were going at, and then plus at the very end when the credits were coming on, I feel like they paid like a 12 year old learned how to use PowerPoint for the first time and decided to make this animation transition of these names. The credits stood out as horrible. You're so right about that. Oh my god. How do you fuck up? What is going on with this? How do you mess up the credits? Seriously. How do you? It was so bad.
00:51:06
Speaker
I'm just gonna gesture broadly at the entire movie for you for your answer spaz. How do you mess it up? Just look at the movies? Come on the whole like come on then the whole like hacking side of things
00:51:22
Speaker
Oh that was funny. I hate all hacking and movies because it's ridiculous and this was no exception. I do too. But see what's funny is like I do too like for the most part except for like hackers holds a special place in my heart just for what it is which came out in 95 I think and here we are eight years later and I get this.
00:51:43
Speaker
They had the first rat pack virus. He's the one of these most notorious hackers and yet he's crying because he can't hack the government website halfway through this movie. He finally gets in. He wasn't crying because of that. He was crying because the people were going to die.
00:52:04
Speaker
Well, he was crying because he couldn't get it done quick enough. You're insensitive, Chris. I was with Nicky on this. How dare you? I'm sorry. Look, all I had to do was shake the camera really hard and they died. I was totally making fun of him for crying for that reason. Oh my gosh, it was not about the hacking. Well, it was about the hacking, but it was about the hacking. You can't hack through the tears, Nicole. There's no crying and hacking, OK?
00:52:32
Speaker
Oh, whatever. Yeah. So my six, I want them to redo this film and I will watch it in a heartbeat. So Carrie, take it away. One of them to make a serious remake of this movie, like dark and scary. I would definitely like, like almost like a space horror, but internal horror, like horror.
Carrie's Remake Proposal
00:52:49
Speaker
Oh, you mean like the descent, but like in a ship. Oh, you mean a horizon in earth? Exactly. Yeah. This is his own genre. Let's do it. Oh, subterranean horror. I love it. I mean, I'm all aboard now.
00:53:01
Speaker
Choo-choo, let's go. And somebody kickstart that shit. Seriously, I'd watch the shit out of that. I'm so glad you all went on this journey with me. Let me begin with this. I'm so glad we've watched so many good movies, you guys. We needed to watch another really bad one, like a really bad one. And I definitely gave it to you. Like I did it. I did it good. Yes, you did. Yes, you did. John Carpenter's proud of you.
00:53:30
Speaker
Oh, yeah. I did not like this movie when it first came out and I saw it. But then I watched it again, like eight years later on accident. Basically, it was on television. And it got funny the second time I watched it. It was not as funny the first time, but now I laugh hilariously like
00:53:49
Speaker
Tyler was laughing so hard at how much I was laughing because he's like, this is not funny at all. But I was giggling the entire movie, like legitimately giggling the entire movie. I love disaster movies because they're so over the top, ridiculous and bad and fun. So this definitely, for me in a weird nostalgia way, I enjoy because it's just so bad. It's so, so bad. There's almost no redeeming qualities. So yes, I agree on what all of you have said.
00:54:19
Speaker
with the acting, especially Stanley Tucci. I love Stanley Tucci as a bad guy. There's something magical about Stanley Tucci as a bad guy, but he redeems himself at the end, I guess, but he's still a bad guy to me. And the fact that when he's justifying Project Destiny, he's like, they're going on the rent about it being like pre-Destined and then Project Destiny. It's like, come on, man, come on now. Like this is fantastic. Every time DJ Qualas opened his mouth, I was laughing just at him, not with him.
00:54:50
Speaker
like a hundred percent this entire movie this is my kung fu and it is strong i'm like seriously do you have like that would really say that to yourself i speak one language one zero wow my god
00:55:05
Speaker
So bad. But he's got a CD-ROM that's just called Kung Fu. Oh my gosh. I absolutely love Ever End. Like I said, the whale scene at the end is like my favorite GIF of all time. I use it all the time. It's just so ridiculous.
00:55:22
Speaker
Running on the aircraft carrier. I just like can't see it. Oh my gosh I Frickin love how bad this movie is and I'm a hundred percent right there with you Tim if they remake this movie Whether it's subterranean horror or whether it's just a Michael Bay Let's blow stuff up like I'm totally in for that and would watch it
00:55:41
Speaker
But yeah, this is just weirdly nostalgic for how bad it is. I enjoy this movie. So you know what, Tim? I'm with you. I'm going to go up to a six because it got even funnier this time to me. I'm going up to a six. An embarrassed six. How about that? That's fair. That's a new act. I like it. All right. With our scores, it comes out to an average of a 4.3, which was exactly what our nostalgia was. So some went up, some went down, but we're right smack dab at a 4.3. Yes.
00:56:11
Speaker
Some stayed the same. Some stayed the same, yes. Couple things I forgot to mention on the Amazon listing for this. So I searched this movie on Amazon to find it so I could subscribe to Synmax for free. Guys, they're a list of the starring actors. They don't have anyone that we listed here. What? It's like they almost paid to get them off the list.
00:56:34
Speaker
But I do not associate me with that movie. That's so awesome. So yeah, it has the core explains what it is, but it says, you know, starring Christopher Shire, who he was the lawyer at the beginning that died from this pacemaker. Oh my God. He's listed as one of the starring roles of this film. Well, isn't it because Tim, on Amazon, don't they just show like the first people on screen? That's a good theory to check out.
00:57:05
Speaker
Maybe. Come on. How do you not list like who's really starring in this film? It just seems lazy. Good question. Or lazy Amazon. I don't know. And I also liked how whenever some catastrophic event happened, it always like
00:57:21
Speaker
was very ironic. The pacemaker thing happening was on World Environments Day or something. They called it out in the title card. And then as soon as the storm cluster happened, it went straight for the goddamn Colosseum. Like, fuck you, Colosseum. It just obliterated it. I also have questions about the Colosseum being electrified. Yeah.
00:57:47
Speaker
I didn't appreciate seeing them make things in Rome crumble. That actually pissed me off too. Not only that, they electrify the Colosseum, which is mainly built out of
00:58:00
Speaker
What? Like breaking limestone. Stone. There's no, there's no nothing that can... I mean, maybe there are conducive metal elements, but not enough to, I don't know, electrify them. Blow it up. And then blow out every column like a Michael Bay movie. Yeah. That was a little hard for me to even look at. But yet did nothing to the Eiffel Tower, which is all metal. Yeah. It's like a giant freaking lightning rod. So I guess that's all that can be said about the core.
00:58:29
Speaker
Unless you got anything else, Gary. You're welcome. All right. That cinematic experience for everybody involved. That's right. Well, thanks for listening to On Second Watch. You can follow us at OSWPodcast.com for the latest reviews, giveaways and more. Leave your nostalgia for us on our next review and make sure to follow us on Facebook and Twitter as well. As we prepare for future episodes, you can always request a specific movie for us to review at OSWPodcast.com.
00:58:58
Speaker
And until next time, guys, thanks for tuning in and we'll see you later. Spaz dead. Peace out, bitches. It's the whales! It's the whales! The stodor, you gotta use the whales! It's whales! The ultrasonics! They're singing to them! You gotta find the whales!