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40 Years a NEET: Reflections of a Stay-At-Home Son
25 Plays3 years ago
Man spends 40 years in a coomer stupor. Here is his story.
https://www.reddit.com/r/NEET/comments/ifcblr/today_i_became_a_40_year_old_virgin_neet_some/
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Transcript
Introduction to Haunted AF Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
Hi and welcome to Haunted AF, the podcast of real ghost stories told by real people.
00:00:04
Speaker
We are your hosts, I'm Julie Fisk.
00:00:06
Speaker
And I'm Rebecca Black.
00:00:07
Speaker
Join us each Thursday as we share the terrifying tales people have sent to us from all over the world.
00:00:12
Speaker
Started saying, I don't want to go upstairs because of the ghost sisters.
00:00:15
Speaker
The ghost sisters are up there.
00:00:17
Speaker
Ghosts and goblins.
00:00:18
Speaker
Bigfoot and UFOs.
00:00:19
Speaker
Doppelgangers and those tricky glitches in the Matrix.
00:00:22
Speaker
We've got them all.
00:00:23
Speaker
I hear my sister on the platform say, Ashley, you can see pieces of her hair being twirled in thin air.
00:00:30
Speaker
And just so you know, you can actually listen on our website, hauntedaf.com, or on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher.
00:00:37
Speaker
Really, it's wherever you like to listen to your podcasts.
00:00:40
Speaker
The DJ was taking call after call.
00:00:42
Speaker
People were talking about seeing this ghost.
00:00:44
Speaker
green thing in the sky.
00:00:46
Speaker
But yeah, there was this glowing fall.
00:00:49
Speaker
And once you've listened to the show and gotten properly freaked out, then you have to send your scary stories to haunted AFpodcast at gmail.com so we can share them all on the next Haunted AF.
Introduction to Female Dating Strategy and Patreon
00:01:00
Speaker
Hey, Queens, are you ready to level up?
00:01:02
Speaker
Then join our Patreon at patreon.com forward slash the female dating strategy where you can find weekly bonus content and FDS commentary on all the latest pop culture relationship and dating news.
00:01:15
Speaker
If you just want to listen to the extra bonus content, we have the Lurker Mode tier on our Patreon.
00:01:20
Speaker
If you want merchandise, access to the private FDS Patreon Discord, which also includes a monthly book club with FDS and feminist-themed books, as well as FDS merchandise, t-shirts, mugs, and the opportunity to discuss topics with the FDS Podcast Queens live, as well as submit stories for our Rose Disco Queen and Nasus discussions on the podcast itself.
00:01:43
Speaker
So if you'd like access to all this and more, visit our Patreon at patreon.com forward slash the female dating strategy.
00:01:56
Speaker
Hey, Queens.
00:01:56
Speaker
FDS is taking a little break this week, so enjoy this bonus content from our Patreon called 40 Years A Neat, Reflections of a Stay-at-Home Sun.
00:02:04
Speaker
For our Patreon subscribers, we will still have bonus content up on Friday.
00:02:08
Speaker
That's on patreon.com forward slash the female dating strategy.
00:02:11
Speaker
Enjoy.
Exploration of the NEAT Lifestyle
00:02:12
Speaker
Welcome to this week's bonus content.
00:02:14
Speaker
Hello, hello, ladies.
00:02:16
Speaker
Who are we dragging this week?
00:02:17
Speaker
Who is our victim this week?
00:02:19
Speaker
So after the Doreen the dog walker takedown, I was browsing Reddit and I came across what I actually think is probably one of up there with one of the most infuriating subreddits on Reddit.
00:02:31
Speaker
And it's called the not in education, employment or training.
00:02:36
Speaker
And they call it neat for short N double E T.
00:02:39
Speaker
And it's basically a subreddit full of people who have chosen not to be in education, employment or training.
00:02:48
Speaker
And they want to live that lifestyle literally until they dropped it.
00:02:53
Speaker
Are neat.
00:02:54
Speaker
So basically, yeah, it's worse than anti-work.
00:02:58
Speaker
It's worse than anti-work, yeah.
00:03:00
Speaker
Yeah, anti-work has become like a generalized labor movement with the exception of the...
00:03:05
Speaker
ill-named and just ill actually in general, ill existence of Doreen the dog walker.
00:03:12
Speaker
We mentioned the concept of NEAT on that episode, the female political strategy episode we did on Doreen.
00:03:18
Speaker
And a lot of people were asking about it.
00:03:20
Speaker
Like it's basically a group of men, generally men, and it's overwhelming men like Savannah said that they just don't do shit in life.
00:03:30
Speaker
They don't do shit and have like zero desire to.
00:03:33
Speaker
And they formed a little club on Reddit because, of course, that's where all the useless males congregate.
00:03:39
Speaker
Perpetually online useless males.
00:03:41
Speaker
And it's not even just online.
00:03:42
Speaker
In my personal life, I've volunteered at...
00:03:44
Speaker
like a homeless shower for a number of years now.
00:03:47
Speaker
And we see this all the time.
00:03:48
Speaker
You know, there'll be, you know, like healthy men who are getting sick notes from the doctor.
00:03:53
Speaker
Because basically in the UK, if you get a sick note from the doctor, that means you don't have to look for work.
00:03:57
Speaker
But it's like, they can smoke weed all day.
00:03:59
Speaker
They can drink all day.
00:04:00
Speaker
But for some reason, they're unable to work.
00:04:03
Speaker
It's bullshit.
00:04:03
Speaker
They're just lazy.
00:04:05
Speaker
So we thought, okay, okay.
00:04:06
Speaker
So Savannah shared this subreddit with me and immediately I went sort by top posts of all time.
00:04:13
Speaker
And their top post of the subreddit is just a chef's kiss post.
00:04:18
Speaker
And so we wanted to read that for you today and react to it and just drag the absolute fuck out of it.
00:04:23
Speaker
Because honestly, after reading this post, I'm like, this is what's wrong with men nowadays.
00:04:27
Speaker
Okay.
00:04:27
Speaker
So the title of the post is, Today I Became a 40-Year-Old Virgin Neat.
00:04:32
Speaker
Some reflections on my life so far.
00:04:34
Speaker
I just turned 40, so I've been a neat for over half my life now.
00:04:38
Speaker
Never had sex with or kissed a woman.
00:04:40
Speaker
Never had a real job either.
00:04:42
Speaker
I want to talk about my life a little, so younger neats know what mistakes to avoid.
00:04:46
Speaker
Please change your life while you still can.
00:04:48
Speaker
You don't want to turn out like me.
00:04:50
Speaker
I cry every day because I'm so depressed.
00:04:52
Speaker
I hate myself.
00:04:53
Speaker
I wish I could have given a shit when I was younger.
00:04:56
Speaker
Feel good uplifting happy posts, Lilith.
00:05:01
Speaker
I'm going to cheer you all up.
00:05:02
Speaker
Okay.
00:05:03
Speaker
No, so I mean, I'm just going to walk you through my emotions.
00:05:06
Speaker
Okay, so not going to lie.
00:05:07
Speaker
First paragraph, I actually kind of feel bad for this guy.
00:05:09
Speaker
I'm like, oh, like, that's really terrible.
00:05:11
Speaker
Like, unless the person deserves it, I'm not the sort of person to just enjoy another person's suffering.
00:05:15
Speaker
But then as the post goes on, you realize, okay, he does deserve it.
00:05:18
Speaker
So...
00:05:21
Speaker
There's that.
00:05:22
Speaker
Okay.
00:05:22
Speaker
So he continues.
00:05:24
Speaker
It all started when I dropped out of high school.
00:05:26
Speaker
I was 17 then and had just one more year to go.
00:05:29
Speaker
I was being mercilessly bullied and started skipping school because of it.
00:05:32
Speaker
So I had to repeat a year.
00:05:34
Speaker
I lost all my motivation.
00:05:36
Speaker
I had a dream of being a scientist and I knew I needed a high school diploma for that, but I hated being made fun of and bullied so much and I gave up on it.
00:05:44
Speaker
That's sad.
00:05:44
Speaker
Like that is sad.
00:05:46
Speaker
Yeah, that's sad.
00:05:47
Speaker
It's terrible to be bullied.
00:05:48
Speaker
You know, teenagers especially can be really fucking mean to each other.
00:05:53
Speaker
So again, so far, I feel bad for this guy.
00:05:57
Speaker
That summer after dropping out, I stayed in my room and got sucked into the internet.
00:06:01
Speaker
These were the early days of image boards and BBSEs.
00:06:05
Speaker
I don't know what that, what's a BBS?
00:06:07
Speaker
Let me Google this actually.
00:06:08
Speaker
Bulletin board system.
00:06:09
Speaker
Okay.
00:06:10
Speaker
Okay.
00:06:10
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:06:11
Speaker
Okay, so like the early internet where it was just like free-for-all forums.
00:06:15
Speaker
Early days of image boards and BBSs, and I spent a lot of time talking to other neats on there.
00:06:21
Speaker
I got into EverQuest and spent hundreds of hours in that game.
00:06:25
Speaker
Oh, my gosh.
00:06:26
Speaker
Wait, Ro, what is EverQuest?
00:06:28
Speaker
It was another early internet game.
00:06:30
Speaker
I remember my brothers went through an EverQuest phase.
00:06:33
Speaker
Oh.
00:06:34
Speaker
But it was for children.
00:06:36
Speaker
So it was like Minecraft of the early 2000s?
00:06:38
Speaker
Yeah.
00:06:39
Speaker
Yeah.
00:06:40
Speaker
But it was like, if I'm not mistaken, it was like four children.
00:06:45
Speaker
And it just got taken over by... It's like a role-playing video game that doesn't ever end.
00:06:50
Speaker
Oh.
00:06:51
Speaker
So it's called EverQuest.
00:06:53
Speaker
What's the word?
00:06:54
Speaker
Like an open world...
00:06:56
Speaker
Game versus like, okay, I'm looking at it.
00:07:00
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:07:00
Speaker
Multiplayer online role-playing game.
00:07:03
Speaker
Okay, cool.
00:07:03
Speaker
I think South Park did a pretty funny episode about it where it was a bunch of kids playing it and then they kept getting beat up by some, yeah, some neat, some like... Some old, weird old man.
00:07:12
Speaker
Yeah, some middle-aged overweight guy living in his mom's basement covered in Cheeto dust.
00:07:17
Speaker
Like there's, it was actually a whole trope and a meme for a while because like the kids wanted to play and they could never play because the middle-aged needs would just like go around killing them and being dicks to them all the time.
00:07:28
Speaker
Oh, okay.
00:07:28
Speaker
Right?
00:07:29
Speaker
And everybody being like, now that it's jogging my memory, I remember it being like a huge online controversy because it was like, well, the kids never get to have a good time on this game because the middle aged losers keep taking it over.
00:07:40
Speaker
So he was probably one of those.
00:07:41
Speaker
Well, to be fair, this guy, he's in his late teens, so he's not a middle aged loser yet, but he is going to be one.
00:07:46
Speaker
So this is his middle aged loser origin story.
00:07:51
Speaker
So, yeah, he spent hundreds of hours in the game of EverQuest, made lots of friends online.
00:07:55
Speaker
You know, he says, for the first time, it felt like I had a community.
00:07:59
Speaker
I didn't really know what to do with my life.
00:08:01
Speaker
My mom wanted me to take a high school equivalency exam and go to college, and I continuously lied to her that I would.
00:08:07
Speaker
Three years passed, I was 20, and I still had no high school diploma or job.
00:08:10
Speaker
My mom was getting sick of me and threatened to kick me out unless I at least started looking for a job.
00:08:17
Speaker
So I pretended to look for one.
00:08:18
Speaker
Okay, so this is where the waste mannery begins.
00:08:21
Speaker
Like, why are you pretending to look for jobs when... That's when I'm less sympathetic with him, yeah.
00:08:26
Speaker
When you can just actually just look for a job, like... Yeah!
00:08:30
Speaker
God!
00:08:31
Speaker
Like, the amount of effort it takes to pretend to look for a job is probably the same as the amount of effort it takes to actually look for a job.
00:08:37
Speaker
Actually...
00:08:38
Speaker
look for a job right it's not saving effort you know it wasn't like you had to do like a five-stage process for mcdonald's back then like you do now before you could pretty much you know walk around town with your cv those are the days you could walk around your town with a cv and you could have a job by the end of the week shake hands the manager exactly yeah so he writes i didn't want to work in retail or a customer facing job because i thought they were below me
00:09:02
Speaker
I often find that lazy people often think that jobs are below them when it's like, no.
00:09:08
Speaker
It's really bizarre.
00:09:10
Speaker
Hardworking people, they'll do anything just to bring in money or to work.
00:09:15
Speaker
But it's always the laziest people who have some sort of complex about working certain jobs.
00:09:21
Speaker
Yeah, that's... In fact, it was this moment in this story that I stopped feeling sympathetic for him.
00:09:27
Speaker
Because I'm like, first of all, you're like 20.
00:09:29
Speaker
Okay, I worked in fast food.
00:09:31
Speaker
I worked in retail when I was in my teens and early 20s.
00:09:34
Speaker
Yeah, everyone's done a retail stint.
00:09:36
Speaker
Yeah, when you're young.
00:09:37
Speaker
You know, like, that's a coming-of-age thing.
00:09:39
Speaker
It's a rite of passage.
00:09:40
Speaker
It's something we all, you know, unless you're, like, crazy rich and, you know, you don't have... You literally don't have to work, right?
00:09:46
Speaker
But for most, like, middle-class or working-class people...
00:09:50
Speaker
Having a retail or, you know, customer facing job is part of life.
00:09:54
Speaker
I think it's a really important part of, like, young people's development, honestly.
00:09:58
Speaker
So the fact that he's saying, like, oh,
Societal Views on Laziness and Ambition
00:10:00
Speaker
I'm too good for, like, a retail job.
00:10:01
Speaker
I'm like, fuck you, double middle finger to you, because these are jobs that are important to society that need to happen, you know, and the people who do those jobs deserve respect.
00:10:09
Speaker
Yeah.
00:10:10
Speaker
And especially when you haven't done anything.
00:10:12
Speaker
Like, you know, let's say if you'd been working since you were 14 and you had qualifications and you... I mean, I still think it's a shitty attitude to have because like you said, Lilith, those jobs are still important and you shouldn't look down on people.
00:10:23
Speaker
But I'd be like, okay, fair, like you can do something else.
00:10:26
Speaker
But you've not worked a day in your life at this point.
00:10:29
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
00:10:30
Speaker
If you haven't worked a day in your life, no job is below you.
00:10:33
Speaker
Like, you're actually below that job.
00:10:35
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
00:10:38
Speaker
never had a job a fast food job is actually above you like know your fucking place you gotta
00:10:44
Speaker
The weird thing is like, I've definitely seen this attitude among some of my own male relatives where they, yeah, they don't have shit, but like, because, you know, my grandmother worked hard, my grandmother worked hard and my grandfather worked hard to provide like a semi comfortable lifestyle.
00:10:59
Speaker
They think that any lifestyle below that is beneath them, but they don't have shit, right?
00:11:06
Speaker
Like they don't have skills, they don't have a job and they're just going to leech off
00:11:10
Speaker
I have some cousins like this, unfortunately, who are just going to lease off my grandmother probably until she dies.
00:11:17
Speaker
And it's just like, ugh.
00:11:20
Speaker
That's so sad.
00:11:21
Speaker
That's like elder abuse borderline, like financial elder abuse.
00:11:25
Speaker
I mean, it is.
00:11:26
Speaker
And like she, I mean, she's on, I mean, she's retired now.
00:11:28
Speaker
And unfortunately my grandfather passed.
00:11:30
Speaker
I know she has some, some life insurance money.
00:11:32
Speaker
So she's not like, she's not, they're not rolling in cash, right?
00:11:35
Speaker
Like they have a comfortable life.
00:11:36
Speaker
They both work working class job back, you know, when you could make a comfortable living and buy a house and a working class job.
00:11:42
Speaker
So like, they're not, they're not rich by any means.
00:11:45
Speaker
And they also worked working class jobs.
00:11:47
Speaker
So the fact that some of my cousins think they're above it,
00:11:50
Speaker
because of the fact that my grandparents made a comfortable life for themselves.
00:11:54
Speaker
It's just absolutely disdainful.
00:11:57
Speaker
That makes me angry because I have to fight my grandma not to give me money.
00:12:02
Speaker
Like there are so many times where she'll be like, or she knows I'm struggling financially.
00:12:05
Speaker
She'll offer me money.
00:12:06
Speaker
She's a very generous, very kind, very loving person.
00:12:09
Speaker
And I don't want to take advantage of that.
00:12:11
Speaker
Yeah, I do have cousins who do take advantage of that.
00:12:13
Speaker
And it does kind of piss me off.
00:12:15
Speaker
Like, I'd rather just blow through my entire savings than, you know, I basically, I have to get to a point where I'm like, really, really desperate before I'm willing to accept money from my grandmother, even though she's not struggling financially.
00:12:26
Speaker
It's just a pride thing.
00:12:27
Speaker
They're also like elderly, too.
00:12:28
Speaker
It's like she needs it for her retirement.
00:12:30
Speaker
You know, she's earned it.
00:12:31
Speaker
Exactly.
00:12:32
Speaker
Like, my grandmother keeps talking about moving, but she knows if she moves, then she doesn't know what the hell is going to happen to a bunch of my freeloading ass cousins.
00:12:40
Speaker
And some uncles for that matter.
00:12:41
Speaker
But yeah.
00:12:42
Speaker
Yeah.
00:12:45
Speaker
So let's get back to the story.
00:12:46
Speaker
Yeah.
00:12:46
Speaker
Because I, yeah, there's a lot to get through in this episode.
00:12:49
Speaker
Okay.
00:12:50
Speaker
So he says, yeah.
00:12:52
Speaker
So I thought these customer facing jobs were below me.
00:12:54
Speaker
In the back of my mind, I still thought I could become a scientist if I just applied myself and took some tests to prove that I was a genius.
00:13:01
Speaker
Biological delusion, as Rose said.
00:13:03
Speaker
Yeah.
00:13:04
Speaker
Biologically delusional.
00:13:05
Speaker
No way.
00:13:09
Speaker
This is an example actually of narcissism.
00:13:11
Speaker
Again, delusions of grandeur.
00:13:13
Speaker
That's a narcissistic trait.
00:13:16
Speaker
Okay.
00:13:16
Speaker
Man, did you watch like one of those Hollywood movies?
00:13:19
Speaker
Did you watch like Good Will Hunting or something and think, it's not that I'm underqualified and awkward and socially weird.
00:13:26
Speaker
It's that I'm secretly a genius.
00:13:28
Speaker
Oh, no.
00:13:28
Speaker
I'm secretly a genius.
00:13:30
Speaker
Yeah.
00:13:31
Speaker
Oh, no.
00:13:32
Speaker
He writes, I had all these crazy Chun B-U?
00:13:37
Speaker
What's the fuck?
00:13:37
Speaker
What the fuck is that?
00:13:39
Speaker
C-H-U-N-N-B-I-Y-O-U.
00:13:43
Speaker
What the fuck?
00:13:44
Speaker
Oh, wait, it's C-H-U-U-N-I-B-Y-O-U.
00:13:48
Speaker
It's a type of, it says chunbiyo, a Japanese colloquial term typically used to describe early teens who have grandiose delusions, who desperately want to stand out, and who have convinced themselves that they have hidden knowledge or secret powers.
00:14:05
Speaker
Oh, man.
00:14:06
Speaker
So like people who watch too much anime and they think, oh, my gosh, I'm the main character here.
Final Thoughts on NEAT Lifestyle and Social Implications
00:14:10
Speaker
I have like a secret power.
00:14:12
Speaker
I just, you know, I haven't had my mentor come up to me and tell me I'm the chosen one yet.
00:14:16
Speaker
Yeah, apparently it's a derogatory term that they like call a lot of these neats.
00:14:20
Speaker
Okay, okay.
00:14:21
Speaker
Yeah.
00:14:23
Speaker
So as a Japanese, it's used to describe early teens.
00:14:25
Speaker
Yeah.
00:14:27
Speaker
delusions.
00:14:28
Speaker
Literally narcissists.
00:14:30
Speaker
They convince themselves they have hidden knowledge or secret powers.
00:14:35
Speaker
Imagine there being like a term for that because there's so many.
00:14:37
Speaker
There's so many people like that.
00:14:39
Speaker
There's so many Japanese boys sitting around like, oh, one day some sensei is going to come to me and tell me I have magical power within me.
00:14:47
Speaker
Then I'm going to stanch on all y'all.
00:14:50
Speaker
I went to high school in like a suburban areas, like 98% white people.
00:14:54
Speaker
And like these white boys who watch too much anime would be running around during recess like Naruto, like with their arms behind their body.
00:15:02
Speaker
Yeah.
00:15:04
Speaker
I have the power of God and anime on my side.
00:15:06
Speaker
That kind of kid.
00:15:08
Speaker
Oh my gosh.
00:15:09
Speaker
I had all these crazy chunbiu ideas about my own intellect and I believed that I was a hidden genius of some kind that other people could not see but that I was certain I had it within me.
00:15:19
Speaker
I believed I could do anything if I just stopped being lazy and set my mind to it.
00:15:24
Speaker
He's not wrong, sir.
00:15:25
Speaker
Except work a job.
00:15:27
Speaker
A basic retail job.
00:15:28
Speaker
I believed I could do anything if I just stopped being lazy and set my mind to it.
00:15:31
Speaker
Correct.
00:15:33
Speaker
That is true.
00:15:35
Speaker
But the thing is, you have to stop being lazy.
00:15:37
Speaker
Here's the thing, like, a smart, even if he is smart, I mean, he's not, but if he was smart, intelligence without work ethic is like a bird without wings.
00:15:45
Speaker
Like, you're just a fucking penguin waddling around being useless and shit, okay?
00:15:49
Speaker
And here's the thing, is even if you're not intelligent, if you're hardworking, you're actually in a better situation or more likely to succeed than an intelligent person who is lazy.
00:15:58
Speaker
Anyways.
00:15:59
Speaker
That's just my two cents.
00:16:00
Speaker
But anyways, I even thought I was some kind of chosen one, and that's why I was so different from the others, never had friends, and was bullied and made fun of.
00:16:07
Speaker
Thinking back on it, I want to cry because I was so deluded.
00:16:12
Speaker
Yeah.
00:16:13
Speaker
I mean...
00:16:14
Speaker
Yeah, this is where some therapy would have been beneficial of some kind.
00:16:19
Speaker
No, he just needs to stop fucking watching anime and, like, I know anime.
00:16:24
Speaker
It's like self-protective narcissism, you know?
00:16:27
Speaker
Maybe, but I do know a lot of these kids who watch way too much anime or too many movies and they think that real life is like movies.
00:16:33
Speaker
Like, you know kids who, like, didn't really socialize with other kids or by hanging out with other kids?
00:16:38
Speaker
They never really learn how real life works.
00:16:40
Speaker
They think everything's like a movie.
00:16:41
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:16:43
Speaker
Yeah.
00:16:44
Speaker
Get off the internet.
00:16:45
Speaker
So maybe like, it's not even therapy.
00:16:47
Speaker
Yeah.
00:16:47
Speaker
It's like, get off the internet, stop watching anime, go talk to some people.
00:16:50
Speaker
I know it's hard.
00:16:51
Speaker
And yes, you're going to have some social failures and stuff, but you know what?
00:16:54
Speaker
Like, you know, people sometimes get up in my Twitter mentions being like, oh, not everyone can have good social skills like you, Lilith.
00:17:01
Speaker
And it's like, you think I never failed?
00:17:03
Speaker
You think I never had awkward social interactions?
00:17:05
Speaker
Yeah.
00:17:05
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:17:05
Speaker
Yeah.
00:17:06
Speaker
Right.
00:17:07
Speaker
Like a lot of us extroverts learn by catastrophic failure multiple times.
00:17:12
Speaker
Right.
00:17:13
Speaker
Like what matters is like having that social failure and then picking yourself up after and then keep trying rather than being like, oh, I had an awkward moment.
00:17:21
Speaker
I'm just never going to interact with another person ever again because that just solidifies your poor social skills.
00:17:26
Speaker
Exactly.
00:17:26
Speaker
Yeah.
00:17:28
Speaker
yeah you don't even have to be an extrovert you can be an introvert but still know how to um to conduct yourself or and also like you know these things are a skill as well it's really quite annoying when people think that things um just come naturally to everybody and in a lot of cases that's not true
00:17:47
Speaker
Yeah, it didn't come naturally to me.
00:17:48
Speaker
In fact, my parents did a really fucking bad job socializing me because they were narcissists.
00:17:53
Speaker
So I had to learn the hard way in like high school and in college how to be a human and to self-socialize myself, right?
00:18:00
Speaker
And so...
00:18:01
Speaker
Yeah, like I strongly encourage everyone, if you have bad social skills, if you're socially awkward, if you struggle to connect with people, like don't let that be an excuse to not connect, to not try, right?
00:18:11
Speaker
Like it might be harder for some people than others, especially as we learn in this story, you know, we find out he's autistic, right?
00:18:18
Speaker
So it can definitely be harder for some people, especially if you're neurodivergent, but that doesn't mean that it's impossible for you to learn.
00:18:24
Speaker
It's very possible.
00:18:25
Speaker
And like we said in our episode, I think about
00:18:29
Speaker
How to make friends.
00:18:31
Speaker
Didn't we talk about that?
00:18:31
Speaker
We had a couple of strategies for people who were like socially awkward or even neurodivergent too.
00:18:38
Speaker
And also I think there were some tips on that in the actual autism episode, the episode we did with the autistic queens.
00:18:44
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:44
Speaker
There's some skills there that are very graspable for most people.
00:18:48
Speaker
And it just takes time and it takes practice.
00:18:51
Speaker
And I know it can be really scary, especially if like you have a lot of anxiety or you feel really anxious in social interactions.
00:18:56
Speaker
Like if you have a really bad social interaction, it can actually be low-key kind of traumatizing, honestly.
00:19:01
Speaker
But it's important to kind of work through that and not let failure permanently destroy your life like that.
00:19:07
Speaker
Like in this case, right?
00:19:09
Speaker
Yeah, everything doesn't come...
00:19:10
Speaker
easy to everybody.
00:19:11
Speaker
So some people, it's social skills is their struggle.
00:19:14
Speaker
Other people, it's math.
00:19:15
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:19:16
Speaker
Like, it's just, it's just one of those things you have to learn.
00:19:19
Speaker
Exactly.
00:19:20
Speaker
Be functional.
00:19:21
Speaker
Yeah.
00:19:22
Speaker
So he says, he continues, after I couldn't get a job because I never looked, my mom pulled some strings and got me a position as a cashier at a grocery store that her friend was the manager of.
00:19:32
Speaker
I shouted at her that night and said, the job was beneath me, but I still went.
00:19:37
Speaker
Okay, first of all, fuck you.
00:19:38
Speaker
Your mom did a really nice thing for you getting a job.
00:19:40
Speaker
She put her neck on the line with her friend by getting you that job.
00:19:44
Speaker
Do you not realize that?
00:19:45
Speaker
I've been almost stung by this before.
00:19:47
Speaker
I'm very, very, very, very hesitant to give out recommendations for friends and family.
00:19:52
Speaker
Unless I know that person is absolutely going to boss it, but I'm very, very hesitant to do it.
00:19:58
Speaker
Yeah, because it makes you look bad if you give a bad recommendation.
00:20:00
Speaker
It makes you look bad and they don't appreciate it.
00:20:03
Speaker
Some of them just do not appreciate it.
00:20:05
Speaker
Yeah.
00:20:05
Speaker
Yeah.
00:20:06
Speaker
It's like setting someone up on a blind date, right?
00:20:09
Speaker
It could be catastrophic.
00:20:11
Speaker
Yeah.
00:20:11
Speaker
But like, okay.
00:20:12
Speaker
So in my own experience with my own family, very similar reactions to female family members trying to get some of the neat male family members a job.
00:20:23
Speaker
In addition to them like deliberately failing the drug test, if there's a drug test for the job, like showing up, knowing they smoked weed, you know, in the past couple of weeks,
00:20:32
Speaker
knowing they have a drug test on a certain date and still showing up and failing the drug test.
00:20:37
Speaker
So stuff like that where they self-sabotage.
00:20:40
Speaker
And they don't give a shit that it ruins the person's reputation you recommended them as well.
00:20:45
Speaker
They don't give a shit about that.
00:20:47
Speaker
Yeah.
00:20:48
Speaker
I mean, I'm also pretty, like, I won't recommend a job.
00:20:52
Speaker
Like, I won't recommend somebody that I know for a job that I don't think they'll do a good job of.
00:20:57
Speaker
But fortunately, I do know a lot of really awesome people.
00:20:59
Speaker
So, I mean, like, I wouldn't recommend, like, my shitty family members, but I do know a lot of really awesome, really based women, you know, through work connections and so on.
00:21:09
Speaker
And so...
00:21:10
Speaker
Just like a little bit of a career advice there.
00:21:13
Speaker
That's another reason why it's important to, you know, make connections with other women, especially high quality women, because the job that I have currently, for example, I got from a former mentee.
00:21:22
Speaker
So those sorts of, you know, investing in women in the present can pay off in the future.
00:21:27
Speaker
So, but that's sort of off topic, but anyways.
00:21:30
Speaker
Um,
00:21:31
Speaker
Yeah, so he yelled at his mom for getting him a job.
00:21:34
Speaker
Fuck this fucking ungrateful scrote.
00:21:36
Speaker
Anyways, I was at the job for a week before I had a panic attack and broke down.
00:21:39
Speaker
After that, I quit.
00:21:40
Speaker
I felt naked and afraid of other people.
00:21:43
Speaker
I could feel them glaring at me.
00:21:45
Speaker
They knew I was different.
00:21:46
Speaker
They were judging me.
00:21:47
Speaker
I could not even look them in the eye.
00:21:50
Speaker
I would get so scared if they tried to make small talk, and I never knew what to say.
00:21:54
Speaker
I would go to the bathrooms to cry.
00:21:56
Speaker
I always had anxiety, but three years of being a hickey, H-I-K-K-I...
00:22:01
Speaker
What the fuck is that?
00:22:02
Speaker
Hold on.
00:22:03
Speaker
All these like obscure Japanese references.
00:22:07
Speaker
Okay.
00:22:07
Speaker
So Hiki, I'm not pronouncing that right.
00:22:11
Speaker
I apologize.
00:22:12
Speaker
The entire country of Japan.
00:22:13
Speaker
H-I-K-K-I.
00:22:14
Speaker
Yeah.
00:22:15
Speaker
So it's slang for a person who lives a reclusive life from society in their room.
00:22:21
Speaker
Oh yeah.
00:22:21
Speaker
The height.
00:22:21
Speaker
Okay.
00:22:22
Speaker
I know your term.
00:22:22
Speaker
They actually did a long documentary on YouTube about the Hikikimori.
00:22:28
Speaker
Yeah.
00:22:29
Speaker
Oh, yeah?
00:22:29
Speaker
I think, and it's like, they're also called Heiki, but it's like, it's boys who are recluses.
00:22:36
Speaker
Oh.
00:22:37
Speaker
And there's a huge problem with it in Japan, actually.
00:22:40
Speaker
That's very weird, yeah.
00:22:41
Speaker
Anyways, being a Heiki neat had made it so much worse, I forgot how to talk to people.
00:22:47
Speaker
I mean, this paragraph, I kind of, again, kind of feel bad for him, but again, it's like,
00:22:52
Speaker
you know, that's rough, but that doesn't mean that you should give up.
00:22:55
Speaker
That means you should keep practicing.
00:22:57
Speaker
Like, you know, just because something's hard doesn't mean that it's not worth trying to improve.
00:23:01
Speaker
Right?
00:23:02
Speaker
Yeah, it's tough.
00:23:02
Speaker
Does this guy not have... He didn't make a single friend.
00:23:06
Speaker
That's what makes me kind of...
00:23:08
Speaker
sad for him on one hand.
00:23:10
Speaker
It's like, you didn't have any friends from high school.
00:23:12
Speaker
Like, yes, people, people are jerks and people try to bully others, but.
00:23:15
Speaker
Especially like the whole male pecking order thing is like sometimes groups of men they'll find, like there will be sometimes groups of men when there's like one man in the group that's, I guess,
00:23:26
Speaker
like the one that they all pick on or whatever, the sort of like pecking order.
00:23:30
Speaker
He's at the bottom of the totem pole.
00:23:31
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:33
Speaker
It's unfortunate.
00:23:33
Speaker
And that's one of the reasons why men kind of suck.
00:23:35
Speaker
But again, like maybe sucks to suck.
00:23:39
Speaker
No, I'm kidding.
00:23:40
Speaker
But like,
00:23:40
Speaker
You can also, I mean, to be fair, like in high school, because I went to one that was really, really clicky and I joined late.
00:23:45
Speaker
So if you weren't there by the time they were in seventh grade, because I joined in like 12th grade, they'd all made their friendship groups and everybody was nice to me.
00:23:55
Speaker
But it was really difficult to get in an actual group.
00:23:58
Speaker
and actually make like long lasting friends but that being said like high school is not the best years of your life you can still make you know friends at work or um that's what college is for college even if but even if even if you don't go to college there are other ways you can make friends it isn't like if you are the high school loner you know that's the way you're going to spend the rest of your life unless unless you choose to
00:24:23
Speaker
Well, it sounds like he made his friends from the internet, from other socially awkward losers.
00:24:29
Speaker
Here's another thing, actually.
00:24:31
Speaker
So humans, we're social animals and we're influenced by the people that we choose to spend time with.
00:24:35
Speaker
And so when all of the misfit weirdos get together, they tend to...
00:24:39
Speaker
like make each other more weird.
00:24:41
Speaker
I don't know if that makes sense.
00:24:43
Speaker
Like, I don't know, there's certain online communities of just weirdos and they just perpetuate each other's weirdness.
00:24:49
Speaker
Like they'll even start to imitate, like if one person's weird in one way, they all sort of become weird like that.
00:24:54
Speaker
It's like a social contagion.
00:24:56
Speaker
Social contagion.
00:24:57
Speaker
Exactly.
00:24:57
Speaker
Yeah.
00:24:58
Speaker
So yeah, if you're a misfit, I mean, yeah, you should find out, you should hang out with other people who are similar to you.
00:25:02
Speaker
Definitely.
00:25:03
Speaker
But like,
00:25:04
Speaker
try to broaden your, try to broaden your social circle such that you're including people that you want to be more like, because if you're spending time around people that are behaving in a way where, you know, if you were to behave like that, it makes your life worse.
00:25:19
Speaker
You know, you should want to have friends that make your life better, not worse.
00:25:23
Speaker
I hope that makes sense.
00:25:25
Speaker
Um,
00:25:26
Speaker
Anyway, so he writes, fast forward three more years, I got an official Asperger diagnosis.
00:25:31
Speaker
This was when I started becoming more aware of women and wanting a girlfriend.
00:25:35
Speaker
I was always attracted to girls, but I never really felt lonely until this point.
00:25:39
Speaker
I thought when I became a mad scientist, I would get a girlfriend easily.
00:25:43
Speaker
But by now I had accepted that was never going to happen because I didn't have my high school degree.
00:25:50
Speaker
And also because as part of my diagnosis, I had to take an IQ test and only got 121, which made me extremely depressed as I used to fantasize about my IQ being 160 to 180.
00:26:12
Speaker
I didn't know where to meet women.
00:26:14
Speaker
I didn't drink alcohol, so I couldn't pick them up at bars, and I was too anxious anyway.
00:26:18
Speaker
So imagine living your whole life thinking you're an evil genius.
00:26:21
Speaker
Or not an evil genius.
00:26:22
Speaker
Like, you're going to be a mad scientist and you only got 121 IQ.
00:26:30
Speaker
Imagine being this socially awkward and not even that smart.
00:26:35
Speaker
Man, like, oh, it's this painful because it's like... It's like watching a train crash.
00:26:41
Speaker
Yeah, the hits just keep coming.
00:26:43
Speaker
I feel like any time he could have got off this train... I mean, you can even do GED programs at night or GED programs...
00:26:52
Speaker
I mean, he doesn't have a job, so he could do it during the day, too, right?
00:26:55
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
00:26:56
Speaker
You could do it online.
00:26:57
Speaker
Well, I mean, if you don't want to see people, if you're just scared to death of running into classmates or anything, even if you didn't...
00:27:04
Speaker
you had to like slowly work yourself up to get a job.
00:27:07
Speaker
Like he could have still been working on his education and likely not have to force himself with social interaction or be interacting with other people also getting their GEDs who might be in the same boat and made friends that way.
00:27:18
Speaker
So there's just so many, there were so many exit points that he didn't take from this life.
00:27:23
Speaker
Yeah.
00:27:24
Speaker
Yeah.
00:27:24
Speaker
Due to sheer fucking laziness and delusions of grandeur.
00:27:27
Speaker
Anyways.
00:27:27
Speaker
This episode is sponsored by Ana Luisa Jewelry.
00:27:30
Speaker
That's A-N-A-L-U-I-S-A.
00:27:33
Speaker
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Speaker
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Speaker
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00:27:55
Speaker
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00:28:03
Speaker
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00:28:07
Speaker
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00:28:09
Speaker
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Speaker
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00:28:23
Speaker
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00:28:26
Speaker
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00:28:29
Speaker
Anyways, I decided to find a girlfriend on the internet.
00:28:33
Speaker
Online dating wasn't as big as it is today then, so I usually meet people on IRC.
00:28:39
Speaker
There was a girl on an IRC.
00:28:40
Speaker
What's IRC?
00:28:41
Speaker
Hold on.
00:28:41
Speaker
Man, all these internet acronyms that only these needs know.
00:28:44
Speaker
I have no idea.
00:28:45
Speaker
Yeah, you can tell we're not super online.
00:28:48
Speaker
This is like perpetually online deep internet.
00:28:51
Speaker
Yeah.
00:28:52
Speaker
Yeah.
00:28:52
Speaker
The three of us were not super online.
00:28:54
Speaker
The fact that we have to keep Googling what these fucking words mean.
00:28:57
Speaker
IRC, internet relay chat is a text-based chat instant messaging system.
00:29:02
Speaker
Okay.
00:29:02
Speaker
Good to know.
00:29:03
Speaker
Okay.
00:29:04
Speaker
So I decided to find a girlfriend on the internet, online dating, blah, blah, blah.
00:29:08
Speaker
Meet people on IRC.
00:29:09
Speaker
There's a girl on IRC that I was really good friends with, and I had a feeling she liked me as more than a friend.
00:29:14
Speaker
We used to talk late into the night about games and anime.
00:29:17
Speaker
She wasn't bitchy like the girls I knew in high school, and she actually shared my interests.
00:29:21
Speaker
I actually fell in love with her.
00:29:23
Speaker
I had seen her photo, and she was cute, albeit in a handsome way.
00:29:26
Speaker
This detail is important.
00:29:30
Speaker
She thought I was cute, too.
00:29:32
Speaker
One night, I built up the courage to tell her my feelings to my delight.
00:29:35
Speaker
She said she had feelings for me, too.
00:29:37
Speaker
I was so happy.
00:29:38
Speaker
It felt like my heart was about to burst.
00:29:41
Speaker
I went and told my mom that I got a girlfriend and she was proud of me.
00:29:43
Speaker
Aw, okay.
00:29:44
Speaker
That's kind of cute.
00:29:47
Speaker
Yeah.
00:29:47
Speaker
Honestly, can't hate on that.
00:29:49
Speaker
That's like, that's a cute paragraph.
00:29:50
Speaker
But, um, I mean, except for the line, like, she wasn't bitchy like the girls I knew in high school.
00:29:55
Speaker
Like, men, like, the whole, like, oh, she's not like other girls.
00:29:57
Speaker
Like, you know?
00:29:59
Speaker
Like, that's kind of, he's misogynistic.
00:30:01
Speaker
So, the story continues.
00:30:03
Speaker
We ended up dating for a year.
00:30:05
Speaker
I offered many times to fly her out to my state, but she declined, saying she wasn't ready yet.
00:30:09
Speaker
However, one night... Hold on a minute.
00:30:10
Speaker
Where's he getting this money to fly her out to the... Yeah.
00:30:14
Speaker
To his state?
00:30:15
Speaker
Where's he getting it from?
00:30:20
Speaker
from his mom i mean maybe the mom is thinking like oh it's going to be like failure launch or whatever where you know if he gets a girlfriend then she'll motivate him to improve his life maybe that's what the mom was hoping for maybe that's why she was proud but it just goes to show that if he wanted to he would he's willing to fly a girl out to his state but he's not willing to get a job like if he wanted to he would even for men who were neat if they
00:30:47
Speaker
If they want to see you, they will.
00:30:49
Speaker
So there's no excuse, ladies.
00:30:53
Speaker
Even literal bums will find a way if they want to see you take you out.
00:31:01
Speaker
So, but she declined saying she wasn't ready yet.
00:31:03
Speaker
Wait, okay, so first of all, they've never met and they call each other boyfriend, girlfriend.
00:31:08
Speaker
And they're dating.
00:31:09
Speaker
That's like, okay, I don't understand the concept of like long distance relationships where you've never met.
00:31:13
Speaker
That's not a relationship.
00:31:15
Speaker
You're internet friends.
00:31:16
Speaker
So in the early days of the internet, I swear to God, all the creepy dudes who never got women to talk to them before suddenly had girlfriends that lived on the other side of the world.
00:31:28
Speaker
Oh, she's in Canada.
00:31:29
Speaker
You wouldn't know her.
00:31:30
Speaker
She's in Australia, et cetera.
00:31:31
Speaker
And there was one guy in particular who had a girlfriend he would just send money to.
00:31:37
Speaker
Because he's a fucking clown.
00:31:38
Speaker
Queen.
00:31:41
Speaker
Good for her.
00:31:43
Speaker
No, actually good for her because the crazy thing... Let me tell you what this guy told me where I was like... I clued him in.
00:31:49
Speaker
I was like, you know, every time you keep asking to meet her, she keeps like crying and saying she's like... Has emotional anxiety getting on planes and yet you keep sending her money.
00:31:59
Speaker
You might think that like, you know, maybe she's got someone else.
00:32:03
Speaker
And I think there was some kind of evidence she even had a boyfriend already and...
00:32:06
Speaker
And then he was like, no, but she loves me, et cetera.
00:32:08
Speaker
And he was like convinced he was going to get her to fly out to see him and then eventually go fly out to see her.
00:32:12
Speaker
And then...
00:32:15
Speaker
She finally agreed, I guess, to be his like, quote unquote, girlfriend in exchange for money.
00:32:21
Speaker
Did I like screw up the story?
00:32:22
Speaker
But anyways, like she was basically flirting with this woman online for a while.
00:32:25
Speaker
And like she didn't agree to be his girlfriend until he started sending her money.
00:32:30
Speaker
And then when I asked him about it and like clued him in that like maybe she's taking advantage of you, he was like, well, it's okay.
00:32:35
Speaker
So I'm going to like flirt with this other girl I met online.
00:32:37
Speaker
Right.
00:32:37
Speaker
And this other girl also.
00:32:39
Speaker
started saying, hey, I can't see you, but can you send me some money?
00:32:44
Speaker
And then we could meet up somewhere in between where you live and I live, and it's in Australia.
00:32:48
Speaker
And then he says to me, man, I'm really excited because this might be the first opportunity I have to cheat on a girlfriend.
00:32:54
Speaker
So he was really excited that both of his fake girlfriends existed, who may or may not have actually been his real girlfriends, because he wanted the opportunity to actually cheat on a girl, because he's that big of a fucking loser.
00:33:06
Speaker
He deserves to get rid of it.
00:33:08
Speaker
Yeah, he wanted to tell people he cheated on a girl because he thought that would make him look, I'm assuming because he thought that would make him look more desirable to people instead of like a massive loser.
00:33:17
Speaker
Oh my God.
00:33:18
Speaker
Oh my God.
00:33:20
Speaker
I might have screwed up the story a little bit, but essentially it was just like a bunch of fake, like pretend girlfriends who were definitely, definitely leeching money.
00:33:28
Speaker
And then I ceased to feel bad for him when I realized like, oh, he's like, he's loving the ego stroke of having.
00:33:32
Speaker
Yeah, as soon as he's like, oh, I want to cheat on a girl.
00:33:34
Speaker
I'm like, yeah, you deserve to get rinsed.
00:33:36
Speaker
Drain his bank account, sis.
00:33:38
Speaker
Send in the cavalry.
00:33:39
Speaker
Yeah, I stopped talking after that.
00:33:41
Speaker
I was like, oh, okay.
00:33:42
Speaker
Good luck.
00:33:43
Speaker
Anyways, okay, so plot twist for this story for the neat.
00:33:48
Speaker
However, one night she wanted to meet me too, but she said there was something important I had to know.
00:33:53
Speaker
What is it?
00:33:54
Speaker
I asked her.
00:33:55
Speaker
You can tell me, babe.
00:33:56
Speaker
I love you.
00:33:57
Speaker
She said she was transgender.
00:33:59
Speaker
She said she had a penis.
00:34:00
Speaker
I was shocked.
00:34:01
Speaker
I felt so betrayed.
00:34:02
Speaker
I broke up with her immediately.
00:34:03
Speaker
Jerry!
00:34:03
Speaker
Jerry!
00:34:04
Speaker
Jerry!
00:34:09
Speaker
So, yeah, this seems like it should be on, like, daytime TV.
00:34:12
Speaker
Whenever somebody calls you up, it's like, I have something to tell you.
00:34:17
Speaker
It's never good.
00:34:19
Speaker
It's never good.
00:34:20
Speaker
This is like, this is peak, like, 90s, early 2000s Jerry Springer material.
00:34:29
Speaker
So he says, I was shocked.
00:34:32
Speaker
I felt so betrayed.
00:34:32
Speaker
I broke up with her immediately and called her a sick, perverted weirdo.
00:34:37
Speaker
I also use the he pronoun to refer to her.
00:34:39
Speaker
She said she was crying and she hated herself for not telling me.
00:34:42
Speaker
She said she was afraid she would never get a boyfriend if she was honest.
00:34:46
Speaker
I blocked her and told her to never contact me again.
00:34:48
Speaker
I was depressed and started drinking after this.
00:34:50
Speaker
Okay.
00:34:51
Speaker
I honestly feel bad for the trans woman in this situation.
00:34:54
Speaker
Like that was mean and uncalled for.
00:34:55
Speaker
I mean, yeah, I probably should have been upfront about that, but still.
00:34:58
Speaker
A year.
00:34:59
Speaker
But come on, you're with somebody for a whole year and you don't tell them.
00:35:03
Speaker
Like, come on.
00:35:05
Speaker
I mean, I'm not excusing his behavior, but something like that needs to be disclosed up front.
00:35:09
Speaker
Especially if you're going to enter into a relationship.
00:35:11
Speaker
I don't know what she thought.
00:35:13
Speaker
Everyone sucks here.
00:35:14
Speaker
Yeah.
00:35:15
Speaker
am i the sr everyone sucks here i'm not sure what she thought the end game would be like you're just gonna see her dick and be like yeah cool like i don't know yeah i have no idea what the trans woman here was thinking but it's like well you know the bro here didn't do us due diligence let's just say that's a pretty big deal
00:35:33
Speaker
Yeah.
00:35:34
Speaker
Anyways.
00:35:35
Speaker
I also often found as well that people who seem to jump on these online only relationships, there was always a reason why they had to only go online.
00:35:44
Speaker
It was never like somebody who could get girls in real life.
00:35:47
Speaker
You know, they would get women in real life.
00:35:49
Speaker
They're unlikely to go for this online, haven't seen you for a year relationship.
00:35:54
Speaker
I've never seen you before relationships.
00:35:56
Speaker
They just don't do that.
00:35:57
Speaker
I remember there used to be such a stigma against people who had to meet people online.
00:36:02
Speaker
It was only for losers when it came out.
00:36:04
Speaker
And this was why it's because everyone else who could meet people in real life.
00:36:07
Speaker
Cause they were losers.
00:36:08
Speaker
Yeah, they were losers because it was only because people weren't perpetually online yet.
00:36:13
Speaker
And it was only these people that used to hang out in these bulletin boards and chat rooms and also like sexual predators, right.
00:36:19
Speaker
That would try to lure in teenagers.
00:36:20
Speaker
So, um, yeah,
00:36:23
Speaker
Yeah, there was such a massive stigma against online dating that I guess is only... I mean, there's a stigma now, but for different reasons that like...
00:36:31
Speaker
existed because of the fact that it was only like the bottom barrel people, you know, not the cream of the crop.
00:36:37
Speaker
Let me put it that way.
00:36:37
Speaker
That's a little bit nicer.
00:36:38
Speaker
Not the cream of the crop.
00:36:40
Speaker
He continues looking back.
00:36:41
Speaker
I really regret the way I treated her.
00:36:43
Speaker
I regret it more than anything else in my life.
00:36:45
Speaker
I'm so lonely these days.
00:36:46
Speaker
I would gladly take her company.
00:36:48
Speaker
In fact, I would worship her and treat her like a princess.
00:36:51
Speaker
I was so happy that year when I would stay up till three or four in the morning to talk to her.
00:36:55
Speaker
I felt so warm when she told me she loved me.
00:36:57
Speaker
I would get butterflies in my stomach.
00:36:59
Speaker
It felt like I was in a romantic comedy and I've never experienced that feeling again.
00:37:04
Speaker
So he wants her back because he's lonely.
00:37:06
Speaker
That's it.
00:37:07
Speaker
That's the thing.
00:37:08
Speaker
It's like reading that paragraph, I was like, so he doesn't, he doesn't so much want her because he liked those qualities, like of any qualities that this trans woman had.
00:37:17
Speaker
It was more like, oh, I'm, I realized I couldn't do any better kind of thing.
00:37:21
Speaker
Right.
00:37:21
Speaker
Like that's so I'm alone.
00:37:23
Speaker
Yeah.
00:37:24
Speaker
Yeah.
00:37:25
Speaker
So time started moving really fast after that.
00:37:28
Speaker
Subjectively, the next five years felt like one year and I can't remember much about them.
00:37:33
Speaker
My mom was diagnosed with cancer and I hired someone to take care of her because I was too busy drinking, gaming and fapping, which is all I did.
00:37:39
Speaker
Where's he getting this money from?
00:37:40
Speaker
Where's the money?
00:37:41
Speaker
Yeah.
00:37:42
Speaker
And then two, he said he did start drinking because he said he didn't go to bars before because he didn't.
00:37:46
Speaker
I guess he started drinking to cope with his shitty life.
00:37:49
Speaker
But this is another thing is like the whole, the idea of having a stay at home son that doesn't take care of his mom, you know, it's like how many, there are so many women who live with their parents and their mom and they, the daughters usually take care of the parents and the sons just.
00:38:05
Speaker
Yeah.
00:38:22
Speaker
Yeah, so too busy drinking, gaming, and fapping.
00:38:24
Speaker
He says, I was depressed and I use that as an excuse to never try to change.
00:38:28
Speaker
I'd get up at 2 or 3 p.m.
00:38:30
Speaker
and stay up until 5 or 6 a.m.
00:38:32
Speaker
drinking, gaming, and fapping.
00:38:33
Speaker
Ironically, I started getting into transgender porn.
00:38:36
Speaker
I think it's because I got bored of normal porn and it didn't arouse me anymore.
00:38:41
Speaker
My alcoholism kept getting worse.
00:38:43
Speaker
He's a full-on coomer.
00:38:45
Speaker
Yeah, this is the criticism of a lot of porn is that it can be not just addictive to guys, but that it just changes their baseline level of sexual attraction and gives them... They want more and more unusual things.
00:38:59
Speaker
Yeah, seek out more extreme things in order to get aroused and it's not healthy for them and definitely not for society.
00:39:06
Speaker
I do think it's hilariously like this sort of bitter irony that he broke up with the only girlfriend he's ever had because she's transgender and then he ends up getting into trans porn.
00:39:16
Speaker
Yeah, all these exit ramps.
00:39:22
Speaker
So many decisions he could have made differently that could have made his life better.
00:39:26
Speaker
And he just didn't make those decisions.
00:39:27
Speaker
So again, minimal sympathy.
00:39:30
Speaker
So he writes, the year I turned 31, my mom died.
00:39:33
Speaker
I got so depressed, I became a full-time alcoholic.
00:39:35
Speaker
I would drink till I passed out.
00:39:37
Speaker
And when I was hungover, I would drink so it would go away.
00:39:40
Speaker
I walked around naked in the house I inherited carrying a bottle of booze and pretending I was a character from an anime or a game.
00:39:50
Speaker
just want to pause so again like even at like rock bottom i mean it gets worse actually but right now i would consider this rock bottom so even rock bottom he's still fantasizing about being a main character right oh my god i spent the rest of my time at
00:40:11
Speaker
The rest of my time I spent jerking off.
00:40:13
Speaker
I developed all sorts of weird fetishes, including feet and armpits.
00:40:17
Speaker
I even started jerking off to gay porn because straight porn didn't do it for me anymore.
00:40:22
Speaker
After almost four years of this lifestyle, I managed to seriously damage my liver and I had to go to the hospital.
00:40:32
Speaker
Oh, no.
00:40:32
Speaker
Oh, no.
00:40:34
Speaker
Jesus Christ.
00:40:36
Speaker
And he still did this after, you know, his poor mum, bless her soul, passed away.
00:40:40
Speaker
And he inherited a whole house and he's still this useless.
00:40:44
Speaker
Yeah.
00:40:44
Speaker
And this just goes to show, like, when people say, right, we need to give, you know, people who are homeless or down on their life, we need to just give them more money.
00:40:52
Speaker
That's a very simplistic view of looking at it.
00:40:54
Speaker
For some people, yes.
00:40:56
Speaker
Giving them more money and resources will help.
00:40:58
Speaker
But for other people, it's just not going to help.
00:41:01
Speaker
There needs to be
00:41:02
Speaker
a bigger intervention.
00:41:03
Speaker
This guy needs more than money to get him out of, you know, whatever hole he was in.
00:41:08
Speaker
Because it clearly wasn't the problem.
00:41:10
Speaker
The problem was, I guess, in his case, it was his mindset and his, you know, lack of drive and clearly some, you know, past trauma from high school that was causing it.
00:41:20
Speaker
But just giving people money is not going to solve the problem.
00:41:24
Speaker
Yeah.
00:41:25
Speaker
Yeah.
00:41:25
Speaker
He inherited a whole ass house and he still did nothing.
00:41:30
Speaker
Yeah, he could have sold the house, used that money to, like, I don't know, get a less expensive house or something, and then, you know, get his education.
00:41:37
Speaker
You know, gone back to school, like, even people who work hard, like, they, you know, not everybody is in a position to inherit a house.
00:41:44
Speaker
Like, he was in a very, very good position at the time his mom passed away financially, and he still pissed it up the wall.
00:41:51
Speaker
Yeah.
00:41:52
Speaker
It continues.
00:41:53
Speaker
He says...
00:41:53
Speaker
At this point, a distant uncle from my father's side of the family heard of me and paid for me to go into a special rehab program.
00:42:00
Speaker
Here I spent a year and a half getting sober.
00:42:02
Speaker
I made a few friends, but we weren't especially close.
00:42:05
Speaker
They had more interesting lives.
00:42:06
Speaker
They all had girlfriends or wives.
00:42:08
Speaker
I had nothing going on.
00:42:09
Speaker
I had nothing to talk to them about except for alcoholism.
00:42:12
Speaker
By the way, I'd fallen out of touch with my online friends many years ago, so these guys were my first friendly contact in years.
00:42:19
Speaker
Can't you just make new online friends?
00:42:21
Speaker
Yeah.
00:42:23
Speaker
I know that seems weird.
00:42:24
Speaker
Isn't it super easy to make friends online?
00:42:26
Speaker
Like, yeah.
00:42:28
Speaker
Not to have like a let them eat cake moment, but it is super easy to make friends.
00:42:32
Speaker
But yeah, it's like, how do you, how are you so antisocial?
00:42:35
Speaker
You can't make, you can't even make online friends.
00:42:37
Speaker
Friends online, online friends.
00:42:39
Speaker
Yeah.
00:42:40
Speaker
This is bad, man.
00:42:41
Speaker
Yeah.
00:42:42
Speaker
First of all, I want to say this guy's actually extremely lucky.
00:42:45
Speaker
First of all, to have a mom that supported him financially all these years who could get him a job that he could inherit a house and savings from and having an uncle on his father's side.
00:42:53
Speaker
Like this guy's in a semi-privileged situation.
00:42:56
Speaker
Like there's a lot of people that,
00:42:57
Speaker
who are in his situation who, or there's a lot of people, if they were in that situation, they'd be homeless right now.
00:43:04
Speaker
Right?
00:43:04
Speaker
Yeah.
00:43:05
Speaker
Like he's got so many people in his life, even though he thinks he's super alone and has nothing, he actually has like people in his life who are, you know, saving him from the consequences of his own bad choices.
00:43:16
Speaker
And some people who study the homeless will note that a lot of people become, a lot of men especially become homeless because their female caretaker dies, usually their mother or their sister.
00:43:27
Speaker
Or they piss them off so much.
00:43:29
Speaker
Or they burn their bridges.
00:43:31
Speaker
They burn their bridges, right?
00:43:32
Speaker
They piss them off so much that they no longer are allowed to live with them.
00:43:35
Speaker
And so it's like they have options.
00:43:38
Speaker
They just don't choose those options, which is a mental and emotional problem.
00:43:43
Speaker
And it's not always as simple as, oh, they have a mental illness.
00:43:46
Speaker
Some of it is extreme delusional narcissism that they're special somehow.
00:43:52
Speaker
Honestly, this might make me sound like a terrible person, but I think men like this can't be saved.
00:43:57
Speaker
I think the only thing that can be done about them is just to allow them to perish on their own time.
00:44:02
Speaker
I don't believe we should go in and obviously we shouldn't slaughter people for...
00:44:06
Speaker
being like this, but like they're going to just not reproduce because again, they don't have the drive to find a wife.
00:44:11
Speaker
They're not going to have kids.
00:44:12
Speaker
And I think it's just better if their bloodline dies out.
00:44:14
Speaker
Honestly, that's just probably the best thing for society.
00:44:17
Speaker
The thing is, it's like, yeah, what would, what else are they going to do?
00:44:20
Speaker
A lot of these guys will just commit petty crime so they can go to jail for a little while and get three squares a day.
00:44:25
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:44:27
Speaker
It's like there's just no... Honestly, and that would be, like, a better situation for them than whatever the fuck this is.
00:44:33
Speaker
Like, yeah.
00:44:36
Speaker
No, I don't know.
00:44:36
Speaker
The thing is, is, like, people only want to... People will only change or improve if they want to change or improve.
00:44:43
Speaker
And men like this, they do not want to change or improve, right?
00:44:47
Speaker
So they won't.
00:44:47
Speaker
Yeah.
00:44:49
Speaker
Right.
00:44:50
Speaker
And if there's, and also if there's a big enough like consequence as well, another, I guess, criticism of the homeless hostel that I worked at anyway, and I think others as well, is that there was just no consequence if they didn't show up to their support sessions, if they didn't get a job, you know, sometimes like the hostel would even like collude with them to, you know, they'd be working, but still be claiming benefits, which was illegal.
00:45:13
Speaker
There was no consequence for them.
00:45:14
Speaker
Yeah.
00:45:14
Speaker
Yeah.
00:45:15
Speaker
And it even got to the point where it was actually detrimental and self-destructive to their own life, but they just didn't see a big enough need to change.
00:45:23
Speaker
Like, they'd always complain, I've got no money at the end of the month, but they'd never think, actually, maybe I should get off benefits and get a job.
00:45:29
Speaker
They'd never think that.
00:45:30
Speaker
Yeah, again, like, these people, this type of person, I mean, they don't want to change, they don't want to improve, and if they don't want to change, they won't.
00:45:39
Speaker
Yeah, there's a lot of men like this.
00:45:40
Speaker
Too many of them like that.
00:45:42
Speaker
I've come across a lot of them.
00:45:44
Speaker
Deeply entitled, lazy and selfish.
00:45:47
Speaker
Right.
00:45:48
Speaker
And this is why FDS is, I think, the solution to all of society's problems.
00:45:51
Speaker
Maybe not all, but a lot of them.
00:45:53
Speaker
Because if women as a collective raise our standards and don't have sex with and don't have children with low effort, shitty men...
00:46:00
Speaker
you know, men say, oh, there's going to be a lot of single women at the end of the day who don't have kids.
00:46:04
Speaker
Well, yeah, I'd rather that than a bunch of women paired up with shitty men who will detract from their lives, detract from their children's lives, especially, right?
00:46:15
Speaker
So, I mean, it's probably for the best if men like this just don't have families.
00:46:18
Speaker
Like, you know, the only men who deserve to have families and kids are men who are going to model ambition, drive, and healthy relationship dynamics.
00:46:26
Speaker
It's really tough because this is like the hardcore conservative argument that you guys are making, right?
00:46:31
Speaker
Yeah, and I used to call myself a Marxist.
00:46:35
Speaker
I guess I'm a conservative now.
00:46:36
Speaker
No, I'm kidding.
00:46:38
Speaker
The solution that conservatives have is in tandem to them telling these guys to get up and get their ass up and that they deserve to be at the bottom of society is that they think women should take a lesser role so that these guys can integrate so
00:46:49
Speaker
like their solution is based on our oppression which is like well they need to be motivated by the idea that they can get a girlfriend and they can get all these kinds of things and i'm not sure i stand on any of this i'm just pointing it out because i don't know i think we should work and have our own women's quality of life should already be high and then the standards should be high for women so that like again men are like like there's so many men that aren't going to meet that standard good
00:47:15
Speaker
That's the whole point.
00:47:17
Speaker
Only the best quality men should be allowed to have families.
00:47:20
Speaker
Yeah.
00:47:20
Speaker
And I mean, honestly, I hate to sound like a conservative talking head, but I'm not really coming at it from any political angle.
00:47:26
Speaker
I'm coming at it from a, you know, I guess like a pragmatic and a lived experience angle.
00:47:33
Speaker
And everyone else who works in the hostel, they think the same as I do.
00:47:37
Speaker
And they're definitely not like Tories or uber conservative.
00:47:40
Speaker
They just had years of experience dealing with these kinds of primary
00:47:45
Speaker
men, I guess.
00:47:47
Speaker
Yeah, that's true.
00:47:48
Speaker
Because especially my friends or relatives who've worked in public facilities or whatever, you just start to understand that half the time the sob stories that are presented are not true or greatly exaggerated because these people fundamentally don't want to ever have to take responsibility for their own lives or their choices.
00:48:09
Speaker
And it can be pathological.
00:48:11
Speaker
Yeah, and it's not to say that there aren't systemic barriers for people who are low income or people who come from certain marginalized backgrounds and so on.
00:48:20
Speaker
Those barriers definitely exist, and it definitely makes things harder.
00:48:24
Speaker
But the thing is, you could have all the privilege in the world.
00:48:27
Speaker
Like this guy, he has a fucking mom who takes care of him, got him a job, an uncle who paid for his rehab.
00:48:32
Speaker
He had all these privileges.
00:48:34
Speaker
He had all of these privileges, and he still chose not to take advantage of that and still chose to fail.
00:48:39
Speaker
It's not a case of trying and failing.
00:48:41
Speaker
It's a case of not trying at all because you think you're entitled to better that you've never proven to anyone that you deserve.
00:48:47
Speaker
Exactly.
00:48:48
Speaker
Like, this is a man who actually has a lot of things going for him in life, and he chose not to take advantage of them, and he just chose to, like, be a lazy piece of shit.
00:48:57
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, like, what can you say about that?
00:48:59
Speaker
Like, there's no systemic barriers keeping this guy from succeeding, right?
00:49:03
Speaker
Yeah, that's why a lot of work... I've noticed a lot of working class people, too.
00:49:06
Speaker
Like, it's very split when it comes to this subject.
00:49:09
Speaker
And because of the fact that, like, all of us can name some bums in our family where, like... Who don't even try.
00:49:17
Speaker
They just don't want to do shit.
00:49:18
Speaker
Yeah.
00:49:19
Speaker
And they don't even try.
00:49:21
Speaker
And on this, you know, and on the other hand, especially if you add things like racism, etc.
00:49:25
Speaker
Like, but there's just a lot of...
00:49:27
Speaker
Guys that just see like, well, everything's racist or everything's like, like, oh, this job is beneath me.
00:49:33
Speaker
I'm in a career, et cetera.
00:49:35
Speaker
Or I'm going to be a rock star or whatever they think they're going to do.
00:49:37
Speaker
I'm going to be a rap star.
00:49:38
Speaker
And they, you know, they, they put one song on SoundCloud and then don't do shit.
00:49:42
Speaker
And then they're like, oh, well, I tried.
00:49:44
Speaker
Yeah.
00:49:46
Speaker
Not hard enough, motherfucker.
00:49:47
Speaker
It's weird.
00:49:48
Speaker
And another thing is, it's like, it also sort of links back to the idea when, you know, men say or men age, I find why my best years are ahead of me.
00:49:56
Speaker
It's like, well, possibly, but things also get a lot harder as you get older.
00:50:00
Speaker
Like, I know people who said, I'll go to uni when they were 18.
00:50:03
Speaker
You know, they're now 30 and they still haven't gone.
00:50:05
Speaker
Like, you have to, you know, sometimes you have to maximise the opportunities that you get as a teenager and as a young adult, because you literally won't get them again.
00:50:13
Speaker
Like, life tends to get, you know, more complicated, more difficult the older you get.
00:50:18
Speaker
Yeah.
00:50:19
Speaker
Inertia also sets in, right?
00:50:21
Speaker
Like, this guy, the fact that he was so sedentary perpetuated his own sedentariness, if that makes sense, you know?
00:50:29
Speaker
Yeah, it's a cycle.
00:50:30
Speaker
Like, when you have no momentum there.
00:50:32
Speaker
This is the reason why literally every religion hates laziness and sloth.
00:50:37
Speaker
Every religion and every culture throughout all of history.
00:50:40
Speaker
Every religion, every philosophy.
00:50:43
Speaker
It's like there's just this absolute antagonism towards anybody who's lazy.
00:50:47
Speaker
And I think it's because of the fact you can see that they don't do anything and then they just become a leech.
00:50:53
Speaker
Right.
00:50:53
Speaker
And it's not even a leech because they can't.
00:50:55
Speaker
It's because they don't.
00:50:56
Speaker
Yeah, I feel bad for his mum.
00:50:57
Speaker
Like, she, like, no woman or any, like, no parent deserves to give, like, birth to a child that is that useless, quite frankly.
00:51:05
Speaker
Like, he couldn't even look after him when she was sick because he was too lazy.
00:51:09
Speaker
Yeah.
00:51:11
Speaker
Like, you literally had one job and you couldn't do it.
00:51:14
Speaker
I love how we're, like, barely even halfway through this story.
00:51:16
Speaker
Actually, no, we're just over halfway through the story.
00:51:17
Speaker
We're already, like, dragging him, talking about philosophy, talking about society, marginalization, oppression, systemic barriers, and all that stuff.
00:51:24
Speaker
And we're not even halfway through this story.
00:51:25
Speaker
Anyways, so continuing on.
00:51:28
Speaker
When I got out of rehab, I wanted to give myself another chance to finally get a job and get my life together.
00:51:33
Speaker
I tried really hard.
00:51:34
Speaker
I used my savings to get a suit tailored.
00:51:36
Speaker
I had a professional review, my resume, which had nothing on it except my basic details.
00:51:41
Speaker
Somehow, I actually got an interview.
00:51:43
Speaker
It was for a sales position.
00:51:44
Speaker
Okay.
00:51:45
Speaker
I relate.
00:51:45
Speaker
Okay.
00:51:46
Speaker
Okay.
00:51:46
Speaker
No.
00:51:47
Speaker
I'm going to keep my mouth shut.
00:51:48
Speaker
Okay.
00:51:49
Speaker
All right.
00:51:50
Speaker
Okay.
00:51:52
Speaker
It was for a sales position at a company that manufactured water coolers.
00:51:57
Speaker
When I showed up, the guy interviewing me was a 25-year-old who was the hiring manager for the whole firm in my state.
00:52:04
Speaker
He said he was intrigued by my unique background.
00:52:06
Speaker
Instead of work experience, my resume had a paragraph about how I got sober and was ready to reintegrate into society, and he wanted to hear more.
00:52:14
Speaker
So I told him the story of my life.
00:52:16
Speaker
It became clear he wasn't taking any of it seriously and had only called me in for his own amusement.
00:52:22
Speaker
The whole time, it looked like he was barely suppressing his laughter.
00:52:26
Speaker
And when I concluded my tale, he actually laughed for a good 30 or so seconds in a clearly moment.
00:52:32
Speaker
Damn.
00:52:35
Speaker
in a clearly malicious but weirdly jovial way so i couldn't be clear if he was just joking around or intentionally making me feel like shit it was probably both he said he would call me back if they decided i was a good fit i never got a call back and since then i've never tried to look for a job years have passed i'm 40 i'm living the same life minus the alcohol and when i write about my life story i don't know where i went wrong what what
00:53:01
Speaker
There's so many places where you went wrong, my friend.
00:53:03
Speaker
So many places where you could have made a better decision there, buddy.
00:53:07
Speaker
Somehow it seems I just went wrong everywhere.
00:53:10
Speaker
Correct.
00:53:10
Speaker
Yes, that is the only correct thing you said this whole time.
00:53:13
Speaker
Yeah, every single thing.
00:53:15
Speaker
All of it.
00:53:16
Speaker
I don't even know if this will help anyone.
00:53:18
Speaker
Well, it's helping us because, I mean, we get to make some content out of it.
00:53:23
Speaker
I just wanted to get it out there.
00:53:24
Speaker
If it helps even one person, I'll be glad.
00:53:26
Speaker
Please let me at least be an example of what not to do.
00:53:30
Speaker
Don't turn out like me.
00:53:31
Speaker
My life is hell.
00:53:32
Speaker
Change while you can.
00:53:33
Speaker
And his username is wasteofspace406.
00:53:37
Speaker
Self-aware, we're so accurate.
00:53:39
Speaker
But, you know, he's also still living off his mother's savings that he inherited.
00:53:44
Speaker
Bearing in mind she passed away like a decade ago.
00:53:47
Speaker
Can you imagine just how much money that she must have had if he's still living off it to this day?
00:53:53
Speaker
Yeah.
00:53:54
Speaker
In the comments, it's like, how do you support yourself now?
00:53:56
Speaker
And he replies, my mother's savings that I inherited.
00:53:59
Speaker
Jeez.
00:53:59
Speaker
It's so infuriating.
00:54:01
Speaker
And it's like, how much money did he inherit that he's not done anything with his life?
00:54:05
Speaker
You know?
00:54:06
Speaker
In a decade.
00:54:07
Speaker
He could have started business, could have gotten an education.
00:54:10
Speaker
It could be life insurance too.
00:54:11
Speaker
Like if she died, she probably had the foresight to take life insurance on herself to make sure her clearly dependent son wasn't destitute.
00:54:21
Speaker
Maybe, yeah.
00:54:21
Speaker
Yeah.
00:54:22
Speaker
I mean, again, she sounds like a relatively smart, capable, forethinking person, right?
00:54:27
Speaker
So, yeah, I don't know what happened with him.
00:54:30
Speaker
Like, a lot of people in this situation often blame the mom.
00:54:34
Speaker
And, you know, I mean, I don't know the whole situation, right?
00:54:37
Speaker
And, yeah, there are moms that kind of treat their sons like a little prince and, like, never, you know, they don't...
00:54:43
Speaker
Try to force them to do the right thing until it's too late, you know, when they're like in their teens and 20s.
00:54:48
Speaker
I feel like with men, all the socialization has to be up front, like under the age of 12, because after the age of 12, they stop giving a shit about what you think, right?
00:54:57
Speaker
So, I mean, there could be that, but in this situation, it sounds like she did the absolute best that she could and he still turned out a fuck up, right?
00:55:03
Speaker
So I blame him.
00:55:04
Speaker
I mean, someone even said, like, honestly, I feel the worst for your mother.
00:55:08
Speaker
She probably died either hating you or blaming and hating herself for you ending up this way.
00:55:13
Speaker
And that's really sad because it's probably true.
00:55:15
Speaker
Yeah.
00:55:17
Speaker
Yeah, how do you put a boot in your son's ass if you're a mom?
00:55:20
Speaker
Like, because, I mean... Your adult son.
00:55:22
Speaker
She tried.
00:55:24
Speaker
It sounds like she really did her best.
00:55:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:55:28
Speaker
Like some men, I don't know, like things like ambition and drive are actually largely genetic.
00:55:35
Speaker
Unfortunately, like it's, I don't know.
00:55:37
Speaker
Is it an Asperger's thing?
00:55:39
Speaker
Cause I don't know enough about this type particular part.
00:55:41
Speaker
No, because they're honestly, okay.
00:55:43
Speaker
Okay.
00:55:44
Speaker
As I was reading this story and I was contemplating doing an episode for it, I was like, oh, are people going to get mad at us?
00:55:50
Speaker
Like, oh, you're just making fun of this autistic kid.
00:55:52
Speaker
No, there are plenty of autistic people who are hardworking, contributing, intelligent members of society who would not.
00:56:00
Speaker
It actually feels insulting to autistic people to say that everything about the way that this guy is, is because of autism.
00:56:06
Speaker
Yeah.
00:56:07
Speaker
It's actually offensive.
00:56:08
Speaker
Like nothing about being autistic means that you're going to turn out like this.
00:56:12
Speaker
And there are plenty of men who turn out like this, who are not autistic.
00:56:15
Speaker
Okay.
00:56:16
Speaker
True.
00:56:16
Speaker
So I don't think the autism, you know, maybe it makes it harder for him to socialize.
00:56:20
Speaker
It makes it harder for him to do certain things.
00:56:23
Speaker
Right.
00:56:23
Speaker
And I, I empathize with that.
00:56:25
Speaker
That being said, the, you know, autism and ambition or drive have nothing to do with each other.
00:56:31
Speaker
Like they're completely separate traits.
00:56:33
Speaker
And so, yeah, like,
00:56:35
Speaker
It's unfortunate, but there are some people that are just born, or maybe it's like 50% Gen X, 50% socialization.
00:56:42
Speaker
I don't know.
00:56:42
Speaker
Could be nature-nurture.
00:56:43
Speaker
But yeah, there are some people that just don't have drive, just don't have ambition.
00:56:47
Speaker
And I mean, I don't think they deserve to, like, suffer, but at the same time, it's like, come on, like, you had so many chances, buddy.
00:56:55
Speaker
Yeah.
00:56:56
Speaker
You know, it's so many things going for you.
00:56:58
Speaker
The other thought too, and this is again, like more the conservative argument, is that like, this is where I feel like single moms always end up getting blamed because they feel like if he had strong male role models in his life, he wouldn't have ended up like this.
00:57:10
Speaker
We don't know anything about his dad.
00:57:12
Speaker
And it seems like he just had some distant uncle finally checking on him when he was like in a coomer stupor.
00:57:17
Speaker
His dad could have died when he was young.
00:57:19
Speaker
We don't know that.
00:57:20
Speaker
Yeah, we don't know what happened with his dad.
00:57:22
Speaker
His dad could have been abusive.
00:57:24
Speaker
We have no idea what that is.
00:57:25
Speaker
Yeah.
00:57:25
Speaker
Yeah, his dad could have been shit.
00:57:27
Speaker
So that like some of that too is like a big question mark too about like, yeah, what's up with this dude's dad that he just abandoned them and let his Coomer some just be like a perpetual Coomer asshole.
00:57:36
Speaker
Let his Coomer child turn into a Coomer adult and now a Coomer senior citizen.
00:57:41
Speaker
like now a coomer middle-aged man yeah coomer middle-aged man and eventually a coomer senior citizen because uh who are we kidding can i just say i low-key relate to the 25 year old manager because i've been in that situation before i'm like i'm in my mid i guess i don't know late 20s now i guess and yeah i mean i became manager when i was um like 24 i think so i was like quite young and you know there have been times where yeah i'm like
00:58:06
Speaker
a really young manager and then there's people on my team that are older than me and they think they're better than me just because they're older than me even though they have like nothing to fucking show for it like they you know like they think just because they're older than me that they're the boss or you know think that they're entitled to shit and they think oh well you're young like i don't know just the way he said like this 25 year old who's a hiring manager for the whole firm in my state as if like
00:58:30
Speaker
Yeah, so what?
00:58:30
Speaker
Some people are just really young and hardworking.
00:58:33
Speaker
Yeah, it seems weird to you.
00:58:34
Speaker
The manager would call him in to waste both their time unless the resume was like a really a joke.
00:58:39
Speaker
Like maybe the resume was really bad.
00:58:41
Speaker
Okay, first of all, like I personally and I've never heard of this where like if I saw a resume that I didn't like, I would just wouldn't call them right.
00:58:48
Speaker
Most hiring managers won't like call these sorts of people back.
00:58:53
Speaker
Although there have been times where
00:58:56
Speaker
In my industry, again, sales, like, it's really high turnover.
00:58:59
Speaker
You know, it can be hard to get staff.
00:59:03
Speaker
There are a lot of summers where, for example, especially summers where we would just be understaffed.
00:59:08
Speaker
And, you know, I'd hire, like, maybe less than ideal candidates or people without a lot of job experience and stuff.
00:59:14
Speaker
And there have been so many people that I've hired, especially women, who,
00:59:18
Speaker
where they didn't have any job experience because they were either, like, single moms or their, you know, their husband just died and so on.
00:59:25
Speaker
And a lot of these women ended up being great hires because, you know, they might not have much job experience, but they really had that drive, that motivation.
00:59:33
Speaker
They wanted to learn.
00:59:34
Speaker
They were really eager to improve and so on, right?
00:59:36
Speaker
And so...
00:59:38
Speaker
And again, this is a very stark gender difference where, you know, women with no experience for whatever reason, they often end up great hires.
00:59:45
Speaker
Men, I've, first of all, I preferentially hire women in general, but I can't think of a single male employee I've ever had where...
00:59:53
Speaker
I gave him a chance and he turned out well.
00:59:56
Speaker
Like there was one guy I hired because he'd just gotten out of prison for like a drug charge.
01:00:00
Speaker
And yeah, that's the thing.
01:00:02
Speaker
Like, oh, that's another gender difference is like men who don't have any work experience, generally it's because they're either just in jail or they're like this guy where they're just lazy pieces of shit.
01:00:13
Speaker
Women who don't have any work experience, it's usually because like they got pregnant when they were really young and like
01:00:18
Speaker
you know, it's not until their thirties that, or the forties that their kids are old enough and they can, you know, get work or their husband died or something like, or they have some kind of misfortune.
01:00:28
Speaker
Um, you know, I had a hire once she was like 50 and she was a housewife.
01:00:33
Speaker
She had no previous work experience.
01:00:37
Speaker
Um, but again, like she was a great hire because she really wanted to learn.
01:00:41
Speaker
She really liked working.
01:00:42
Speaker
She liked having her own money.
01:00:43
Speaker
Her husband had died.
01:00:46
Speaker
Yeah, I don't regret hiring at all.
01:00:47
Speaker
Debbie, she was a great lady.
01:00:48
Speaker
Anyways, and then men in that situation, they usually suck again.
01:00:54
Speaker
And that's why I think discriminating against men at work is morally justifiable.
01:00:57
Speaker
Anyways.
01:00:57
Speaker
So this is a really sad, a long, winding, sad tale.
01:01:01
Speaker
I relate.
01:01:01
Speaker
to this hiring manager because i've been in that situation and yeah fuck this guy um i don't think he called him into waste his time he probably did call him to try to give him a chance and then he probably when he told his life story it was probably like i always knew i was the chosen one yeah yada yada yada and then the hiring manager probably immediately regretted giving him a chance and that's what he was laughing at
01:01:22
Speaker
Yeah, I can see why you've never had a job, right?
01:01:24
Speaker
But no, actually, the guy I hired who got out of prison for a drug charge, he actually was a pretty good salesperson.
01:01:31
Speaker
Again, drug dealing, sales, it's a similar skill set, transferable skills, right?
01:01:38
Speaker
So he wasn't that bad.
01:01:39
Speaker
That was the one exception.
01:01:40
Speaker
Because yeah, drug dealers actually have to work.
01:01:42
Speaker
Drug dealing isn't exactly an easy profession either.
01:01:45
Speaker
Yeah, it's a sales position.
01:01:48
Speaker
He had relevant skills.
01:01:49
Speaker
Right, exactly.
01:01:50
Speaker
I would put that shit on my resume with no shame.
01:01:57
Speaker
Like if I was a convicted drug dealer, hell yeah.
01:02:01
Speaker
I'd be like, yeah, man, I used to be a street pharmacist.
01:02:04
Speaker
You know what, though?
01:02:05
Speaker
Actually, another hire that I had that I absolutely did not regret was actually an autistic woman.
01:02:11
Speaker
And it's because of this woman, actually, that I have a sort of soft spot in my heart for autistic women.
01:02:17
Speaker
Right.
01:02:18
Speaker
And she again, I was kind of like wondering, like, why would she apply for a sales job if she has if she's autistic and hates talking to people?
01:02:26
Speaker
Yeah.
01:02:27
Speaker
But she ended up being, again, like, she really, really improved because she really wanted to improve, right?
01:02:32
Speaker
And she ended up being, like, maybe not the best salesperson, but she was pretty good, right?
01:02:36
Speaker
So, again, I don't want to blame his shitty behavior on the fact that he's autistic because there's tons of autistic people who are nowhere near as fucking shitty and are actually great people.
01:02:46
Speaker
So...
01:02:47
Speaker
So yeah, I feel bad for this guy.
01:02:49
Speaker
Hopefully he gets this shit together, but who are we all kidding?
01:02:51
Speaker
You know what I just realized?
01:02:52
Speaker
This is the type of person... I'm going to look at his profile and see if he harasses FDS, because this is the type of person who would spend their entire day crusading against the FDS mods because they have nothing better going on in their life, right?
01:03:05
Speaker
Like, as FDS mods, they're...
01:03:07
Speaker
Yeah, this is what I'm saying.
01:03:08
Speaker
Like, if he was at least out committing crimes, he'd be like, even though you wouldn't necessarily call it a quote benefit to society, he at least would have probably some kind of support system somewhere.
01:03:19
Speaker
Because he'd go to jail, then he could like make some buddies in jail, you know, I don't know.
01:03:24
Speaker
Like,
01:03:26
Speaker
Well, it's not just that, but like, you know, I don't know.
01:03:28
Speaker
There have been so many times as FDS mods where we'd be in the group chat, like, who are all these people who spend like 16 hours a day harassing us?
01:03:35
Speaker
Like, do they not have jobs?
01:03:36
Speaker
They don't.
01:03:36
Speaker
They don't.
01:03:37
Speaker
They're like this guy.
01:03:38
Speaker
They probably hang out in anti-worker and neat.
01:03:41
Speaker
And then they're like, oh, you know what?
01:03:43
Speaker
I don't have anything going on in my life.
01:03:44
Speaker
You know what will give me meaning in life?
01:03:46
Speaker
Harassing these random women off of Reddit.
01:03:48
Speaker
Like, so, okay, can I tell you something funny?
01:03:51
Speaker
So I clicked on this guy's profile and wanted to see if he had any history of harassing FDS.
01:03:55
Speaker
He does not.
01:03:56
Speaker
Okay, so maybe this guy doesn't harass FDS.
01:03:59
Speaker
But his post one year after the one that we just read...
01:04:04
Speaker
Title is Lost My Virginity Last Night, Age 40.
01:04:09
Speaker
And it was removed, so I can't read the body of the post, unfortunately.
01:04:12
Speaker
But the comments, top comment is, You fool!
01:04:16
Speaker
If you had kept your virginity until death, you would have been reincarnated as an isekai protagonist.
01:04:22
Speaker
Now you've lost your chance.
01:04:23
Speaker
I plan on keeping my virginity for the next life where I'll marry a kitsune girl in the lands of Gensokyo.
01:04:34
Speaker
man i don't know what they're talking about what the fuck are they talking about weird internet sub neat subculture language and none of us understand this guy and i'm gonna guess it was probably paid even though the post is removed that's likely the case someone just straight up said i doubt it honestly another comment how does the pussy feel when your cock go inside it
01:05:02
Speaker
Oh no.
01:05:04
Speaker
Honestly, like, okay, so if you ladies are still hanging around on Reddit and you ever get sad about the trolls and your DMs are on the post, this is what they are.
01:05:13
Speaker
So don't feel bad, ladies.
01:05:14
Speaker
Just don't.
01:05:15
Speaker
Because high value men are not perusing the subreddit, getting outraged and making, you know, making spinoff subreddits or making YouTube videos crying about our content.
01:05:25
Speaker
They're just not doing that.
01:05:26
Speaker
So, yeah.
01:05:27
Speaker
Oh my god, I'm just going through the comments on this and like, oh my god, there's so many bad comments.
01:05:33
Speaker
But this has been a long enough episode.
01:05:35
Speaker
We're over an hour now and maybe we'll drag some more neat posts another day.
01:05:41
Speaker
Yeah, neat is, this is real sad.
01:05:45
Speaker
They're on our radar now.
01:05:47
Speaker
They're on our radar, so.
01:05:48
Speaker
Yeah, I just want them all to know that we don't feel bad for them.
01:05:52
Speaker
We laugh at their misery and I hope they continue to suffer.
01:05:56
Speaker
See you next week, guys.
01:05:57
Speaker
Bye.