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You're Just Gonna Leave Me: How Words Create Our Reality
53 Plays5 months ago
On this episode of Wandering the Wild Mess, I’m diving into the incredible power of words and how they shape our reality. I’ll share a personal story about hearing the phrase “You’re just gonna leave me” repeatedly, how it became my truth, and what it taught me about the words we speak to ourselves and others.
If you’ve ever felt stuck in negative patterns or struggled to rewrite your inner narrative, this episode is for you. I’ll walk you through how I used affirmations and intentional language to turn my mindset around and create a more positive, hopeful life. Words are powerful, and they hold the key to shaping the life you want.
Ready to start speaking positivity into your life? My new affirmation cards are here to help! Visit wanderingthewildmess.com to grab your set today. Supplies are limited, so don’t wait!
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- Website: www.wanderingthewildmess.com
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Transcript
The Power of Words
00:00:01
Heather Morgan
You're just gonna leave me. I used to hear those words over and over. And in the end, those words became my reality. The power of our words is real. What we say shapes what happens in our life. And we're all figuring it out, so it's okay if you've fallen down this path. But today, let's talk about how to get out of our negative patterns with the power of words.
Podcast Introduction by Heather Morgan
00:00:31
Heather Morgan
Welcome to wandering the wild mess with Heather Morgan. I am so happy that you're here. All right, y'all. I'm so so so excited for this episode because this is so near and dear to my heart. I'm so very passionate about this topic. And the more that I feel the importance of this in my soul the more I want to share this with y'all and I really feel like this could be such a helpful positive episode for you to get your mind right if you feel like you've fallen off the path and I cannot wait to share my thoughts on this with y'all.
00:01:14
Heather Morgan
So I really think this is a good one for you to listen to.
From Anxiety to Positivity
00:01:18
Heather Morgan
I'll add a little mess, but a lot of this is about just how I went from anxiety written about the future when my life turned upside down and really put myself in such a happy, positive,
00:01:35
Heather Morgan
hopeful mindset really by a few changes in perspectives and being more conscious of the words that I speak to myself about myself and to others. So let's get into it.
00:01:55
Heather Morgan
So I started off by saying, you're just going to leave me, which it hit me like a lot of things do on, on an airplane, probably cause your mind's a little quiet. And I was starting to write a song about that actually, um, because my ex would oftentimes say that to me after a few drinks.
00:02:21
Heather Morgan
And I remember in the beginning, like me thinking like, what is he talking to? I wouldn't like, I'm thinking like growing old porch swing life with this man. So why are you saying I'm just gonna leave you all the time? It was very like, why are you saying that and um and and in my head? Because I wasn't ever I never was the wife that was threatening like, I'm just going to leave you. I've never been like that girlfriend or we're going to break up. like I wasn't someone that was threatening divorce every other fight or really at all. like It wasn't like we had talked about ever getting divorced ever before like in our marriage. So it just seemed strange for him to continuously say that when he would drink too much.
00:03:09
Heather Morgan
And, you know, part of it I dissected now and I understand, you know, there's a lot of complexities and things that make people feel that way. And maybe my frustration with, you know, the the drinking may have made him feel that I would eventually leave him.
00:03:30
Heather Morgan
And I realize now that he said those words over and over. And when he first did it, I was like, I don't even know what you're talking about. But when you tell someone something for so long, it starts to become true. And then it did.
00:03:46
Heather Morgan
And that was kind of my first real understanding of, you know, it was like a light bulb because I think we all know this. Like that's why you hear growing up, like the children that their parents are like, Oh, you can do anything.
Words and Self-Belief
00:03:59
Heather Morgan
You're so smart or so great. Like that's the reason why the whole purpose of, if you don't want to think words are powerful, just think of how you know, as a child hearing positive reinforcement, I'm not saying that you have to say you're good at everything when you're absolutely terrible at it. But just giving someone the self belief that like, you got this, you can do it impacts that child so much differently than you're an idiot. You can never be anything you can never those words, sit with the child for so long.
00:04:29
Heather Morgan
And we're still, although not children, we're still feeling those same feelings about words when people tell us things. that It's the same idea. If you're with a partner that tells you, you can never do anything, you're not that smart, this and that, you start to believe it.
00:04:53
Heather Morgan
because that is all you are told. So even from a child to a partner to a friendship, if your friends are like, we're always gonna be this broke, we're always gonna struggle, you know or your family, what whatever, whoever you surround yourself, the words that you constantly are told and heard really shape the reality in which you think you can have. Because if you're told you could never amount to anything, your mind,
00:05:22
Heather Morgan
will find evidence to make that true.
00:05:27
Heather Morgan
And it's a crazy concept, but our minds are just so powerful in that way. And so not only will they find evidence to make that true, but then you as a human won't take the actions to do the different things because you already don't believe that you could.
00:05:44
Heather Morgan
Right? Like it's not even a thought to you that you could achieve that, so you won't even try. And thoughts create actions in our life and our daily habits and the things that we do. So if we hear and are told words, and then we think about those words, and then those words in our mind become thoughts that become beliefs, and our beliefs dictate the actions that we take in our life. If we believe we can climb a mountain, we'll climb a mountain. If we don't think we can climb a mountain, we're not going to attempt to climb a mountain. Do you get what I'm saying here? And so that's why the importance of our thoughts and our words are just key to having the life that we truly want. We have to transform
00:06:34
Heather Morgan
How we think about life each day and how we the way that we talk to ourselves. So one thing I did after obviously the whole time going through the divorce, I was just.
Affirmations During Divorce
00:06:48
Heather Morgan
figure like I wasn't a deep like, I don't know what I'm going to do with my life. Like, what is my future hold? What is this going to look like? I had just never forward thought outside of this marriage, and outside of Utah for long enough to know what it would even look like for me. And even my thoughts about outside of Utah included my ex. So I i really like everything was so new. And I was like, I don't even know what thoughts to think. But I'm scared.
00:07:18
Heather Morgan
I knew that and I felt anxious and worried about the future and I just didn't know. And it started to click to me. I started to write these affirmations on these postcards and I would just write things that I wanted to believe to be true.
00:07:40
Heather Morgan
And so I would write things down like everything is always working out for me. um I have a beautiful home that makes me feel calm and safe and peaceful. you know I didn't even have a home then. I'm just writing all these things that I really wanted to have in my life. I have a successful career that gives me abundance and makes me feel happy. All of these things that I wanted and I write them on these postcard flashcards and I would read them daily.
00:08:10
Heather Morgan
And at the beginning, you're kind of just like, I don't know how this is going to work out, like, okay, but I'm reading these, it's feeling good.
Overcoming Challenges with Positive Thinking
00:08:18
Heather Morgan
But after doing it for so long, I started like visualizing and really feeling it. I'm like, okay, the hell, like I'm going to feel this way. I'm going to, and I just started like smiling in advance of the, that happening for me. Like I remember one was like, all the right things are going to happen and all the right people are going to come.
00:08:40
Heather Morgan
That has been such a true statement in my life during this journey for me. And I ah kind of am getting a little overwhelmed with gratitude because it's it's just, everyone deserves to to feel that way and everyone absolutely, that can be true for them. But I think sometimes we allow ourselves to kind of like, we wanna be,
00:09:08
Heather Morgan
focused on the sadness, the problems, the issues because it's just comfortable. It feels like easier. People aren't all ah usually triggered by someone who just complains. like They might be triggered, but it's a different way. But when you glow in a light that you're happy and you know it's all going to work out, some people get a little bothered by that.
00:09:34
Heather Morgan
And so sometimes it's hard to continue to be that way because you can sense the people being like, Oh my gosh, this delusionally happy person is bugging me. And that's definitely been my experience, but I've learned to just let it be. But I will tell you being able to remind yourself of these really positive things in your life transforms everything because nothing becomes a negative.
00:10:03
Heather Morgan
And I'm not saying nothing as in there's no like somewhat hard things. But if you keep working at it, almost like an athlete or um a student like working at their craft, if you can continue to like focus in, it gets easier and easier and easier to just be like, it'll be fine. It'll work out. You don't.
00:10:29
Heather Morgan
it almost takes some of the worry out of life. And that's where I want to talk about this because our thoughts, like I said, are the foundation of everything. So what we think, what we believe, what we create, everything begins in our
Self-Sabotage and Self-Acceptance
00:10:43
Heather Morgan
thoughts. And so those things, like I will tell you now that I'm so aware of our words in our life, sometimes I'm around people and they're just so hard on themselves.
00:10:58
Heather Morgan
And I'll tell you, like, I see this all the time, but to for to not kind of like, call out anyone in my life that does this, because most people do. And it's okay, we're all learning. ah One of my favorite books that I've read is called The Big The Big Leap. And you guys will understand this, because this is how easy it is to know that we're always when we're not conscious, not always, but when we're not conscious of our thoughts and our words, we say some pretty crappy things and and we don't give ourselves any credit where credit's due. So in the book, the ah author was he had really worked and coached like a lot of really high-end
00:11:44
Heather Morgan
executives for large corporations and different things like this. So one time when he was in l LA after he was coaching a client, they ended up going with a couple of ah other executives to this golf course to play golf.
00:11:55
Heather Morgan
And he was trying to explain how we do that. We sabotage ourselves. Even when we're good at something, we want to like backhandedly be like, oh, I didn't do it that great. I could have been better that whole idea. Well, he was trying to give him like a real world example. They go to the golf course with these two other guys. They're playing golf. These men are much better than them.
00:12:17
Heather Morgan
And as the author is complimenting the man, oh, nice shot, Bill, you know, he's like, no, that, you know, that wasn't that great. I could have done better. So the next guy shoots great shot. He's like, Oh, Steve, that was really good. Uh, way to go there. He's like, Oh, you know, we all have to get lucky. Sometimes no matter what these really great golfer men wouldn't give them themselves any credit. Wouldn't even accept the compliment.
00:12:45
Heather Morgan
And I see us doing that often in our lives and I'm, I'm very guilty of it myself and I'm working very hard not to be where we can't even feel proud and happy and excited for ourselves. Like those men likely, ah you know, golf's not the easiest sport and, and I'm guilty of it too. Someone's like, Oh, that was a great putt. And I'm like, Oh yeah, I guess I gotta get one. But it's like, why can't I just say thanks?
00:13:14
Heather Morgan
And sometimes, you know, we don't allow ourselves to just feel good about something we've done. To say kind things to ourself seems wrong or it seems like we shouldn't accept the compliment. And it's not about ego or being conceited or cocky or like, look at me. It's just about, hey, thanks.
00:13:41
Heather Morgan
You know that was a good shot. You don't even have to say that. Just in your head accept the truth and kindness of those words and feel them. Feel the proudness.
00:13:53
Heather Morgan
And oftentimes the same way you would tell your buddy, hey Bill, that was a great shot. Why can't you think in your head, hey Bill, that was a great shot. And just be good with that.
00:14:06
Heather Morgan
I don't know where we got to this place where society and many of us feel like there's some admiration in not feeling like we're good enough and that we constantly have to improve and that we even when we do something good, it's not good enough. Because I'm here to remind you that there's no regulation, there's no law, there's no nothing in writing that's like, this is what's good enough. Unless Bill does it like this, he is worthless. Unless Jane delivers X, Y and Z. She's pretty much a loser. Like there's nothing like that. But we all have this bar in our own head that we just decide that we have to be in a certain place in order for us to take a compliment.
The Role of Positive Reinforcement
00:14:58
Heather Morgan
or in order for us to be proud of ourselves, or for us to believe that good things are on the way to us, or believe that we're deserving of things. like I'm here to tell you if you take anything from this episode, that exactly how you are right now in this very moment listening to this episode is absolutely good enough for the world.
00:15:23
Heather Morgan
Can you improve? Absolutely. Everyone can. Are you not enough until you do? Absolutely not. And when we get to a place where we realize just the power of telling ourselves like you're doing a great job, you're good enough just as you are.
00:15:45
Heather Morgan
that kindness to yourself pushes the you to a place that you really want to get there even more. But it's not because you have anything to prove to the world externally. It's not because you won't be good enough if you do or don't.
00:16:04
Heather Morgan
It's because you simply know that you can, you believe in yourself. You've seen that you're worthy of believing that good things are on their way. The good things are happening for you, that good things will come, that the world isn't against you because you didn't do something right in the fifth grade when you should have, you know, won the little league championship. I don't know. Like you're fine.
00:16:33
Heather Morgan
no one No one cares, like it's not that serious. You don't need to hold on to mistakes that you made as an indicator of mistakes that are to come. Mistakes are lessons, now you know, now you move forward all the wiser.
00:16:52
Heather Morgan
And that's really what I want to hone in to us is that when we are saying things to other people and mostly to ourselves, because we speak to ourselves more than anyone else, whether we know it or not, that's why it's so important. When you're in a relationship and someone's saying things,
00:17:17
Heather Morgan
seeps into the truth that becomes your reality. I've met too many people that falsely believed the words that someone close to them told them about themselves.
00:17:30
Heather Morgan
And when the only way that we can really control that is first off, not be with someone who's going to make us feel worse about ourselves than better.
00:17:43
Heather Morgan
But sometimes when we feel bad about ourselves, it's hard to not see that they're making us feel worse because we kind of feel like we deserve to be talked to like that. And I, I'm thankfully not speaking from experience. I thankfully have not had people in my life like that.
00:18:05
Heather Morgan
But I think I haven't because I truly do believe in myself because I grew up with parents that told me every day how great I am and how much they loved me. And so I've kept people in my life that make me feel that same way. However, I'm very well aware of many people that didn't get afforded that luxury.
00:18:30
Heather Morgan
And now as they navigate life and relationships, they're accepting less than behavior from people close to them, telling them they're not good enough.
Defining Self-Perception
00:18:49
Heather Morgan
And I don't want that for you.
00:18:51
Heather Morgan
And just know that if you are in a place where you're in a in a relationship or you have someone in your life, you know, whether it's family, friends, whomever, and they have done those to you, it doesn't need to be combated with anger for them.
00:19:05
Heather Morgan
But it's just awareness because the truth is if someone's speaking to you like that and talking to you like that and making you feel less, then that's about them. It's not about you. And I know we've probably touched on this before, but I want you to hone in. Like it's not even that you need to get angry because if someone's putting me down outside of like, you know, the people close to me. But if I, if I come across a situation where I can tell someone's trying to put me down,
00:19:34
Heather Morgan
I, the my first thought, I mean, I normally wanna cry because I'm like, why does everyone wanna be mean to me? We know I'm a baby. but ah But usually I'm like, Heather, they're sad. I don't mean it like, oh, you're sad. I mean it like, you're sad. Cause happy people don't do that. Happy people don't have any,
00:19:59
Heather Morgan
feeling or need or um like that's just not a reaction they would do. You know, there's no one that I meet that I think I'm going to put this person off their high horse or I want to put this person I those thoughts don't cross my mind. I don't want anyone to feel less than If anything, I'm thinking the opposite. How do I say something that makes this person feel better when I see them talking down to themselves or not understanding how important they are or not seeing their worth? Like what do I say that can show them that?
00:20:35
Heather Morgan
And so first off, you just have to remember that someone putting you down or putting you in a place or not seeing all of the great things that you have has nothing to do with you and and everything to do with them. And secondly, now you can take back that responsibility. you're You don't have to wait for others to tell you that you can do something or how great you are or how wonderful it will be when this all works out. You just tell yourself that's the only person that's really creating a reality for you.
00:21:04
Heather Morgan
Nobody else. I mean, all these other people just come and go. And I've talked about this before. I literally moved across the country. No one here even knew me. The only person that was writing my story or knew anything about it in the whole state of Tennessee was me. So I could just fresh start my whole life, whatever I wanted it to be, whatever thoughts I wanted to think. All right. As soon as I moved to Tennessee, this is what I want to feel like.
00:21:32
Heather Morgan
And I don't, not saying you even have to move out ah across the country to feel that way at any point in time and any day you can pick and choose who you want to be in your life and who you want to keep close to you and the thoughts you want to tell yourself and the routines that you want to have. It's crazy, but it's, I want you to know this because it's so powerful.
00:21:56
Heather Morgan
for you to just understand that the words you tell yourself create those thoughts of yours, and it's an ongoing, this is my life, your thoughts are your life. So when you go, if you do this for me for him, just to entertain me. So if you sat here right now and be like, who am I? In a sentence.
00:22:21
Heather Morgan
And whatever your first thoughts are, don't be yourself up, whoever your first thoughts are, whatever. Now, ideally, if you could write it down, but I don't know where you're listening, think about that. Whatever you thought, who am I when when I so asked you that? Now, if you, of whatever you thought, who am I?
00:22:43
Heather Morgan
And outside of your name, like who are you in a sentence?
00:22:48
Heather Morgan
Like, and I'll give a quick example, so maybe this will help because I don't know if you're still thinking about it. But who am I? I'm Heather Morgan, the happiest lover of sad songs who will go on any adventure and knows everything works out for me. That was just my my first my first thought. And if I had to write that down, I would be happily continuing to be her.
00:23:18
Heather Morgan
But there were points in my life, especially through the change that if I would have been like, who am I? I might've had a harder time saying said something so positive.
00:23:30
Heather Morgan
It might've been like this divorce woman who doesn't know what she's doing, who feels like she doesn't even know what her future holds or what she's going to do.
00:23:40
Heather Morgan
But the only way I changed my mind and changed my life is that I changed the narrative I told myself about who I was and who I am.
00:23:50
Heather Morgan
And maybe not who I was. It's really about who I am. And we decide that every day. So if whatever you thought of when you're like, who am I? If you don't love what you thought, change that thought. Write down what it you want it to be.
00:24:09
Heather Morgan
Because whatever that is, is possible for you. But you can't get there if you don't even think that's you. And that is the key.
Creating Affirmation Cards
00:24:19
Heather Morgan
So I'm going to tell you guys something super exciting. I really hope this is helpful for you because I love this topic. And I know that there are times in your life that you can look back and go, gosh, I probably talked that into reality.
00:24:37
Heather Morgan
and now and i'm And before I dive into my exciting piece, I do want you to think like that because I ah want you to understand that like how many times you're like, this is never going to work out and it didn't. And then you're like, yeah.
00:24:50
Heather Morgan
And it's almost like you your mind wants to find evidence like I talked about to be right. So if you're like, oh, this day is going to be crappy. You want to be right. So your day will be crappy. So the same way that you want to be right, if you say this is going to be the best day ever, guess what? Your mind's going to find evidence to make it a but great day and you're going to be like, Oh my gosh, that was the greatest day. Cause you want to be right. See how it works. So that's why I never, ever.
00:25:21
Heather Morgan
think that it's not gonna work out because that is how it works. If you don't think it's gonna work out, you're right. Because you always get to be right because you decide what you think. All right, all right, I'll stop. I know for some time that gets a little complex in your minds, but the point is I want to share something so near and dear to my heart. So as I am navigating all of this newness in my life and trying to figure out how I can best
00:25:53
Heather Morgan
connect with y'all, make you feel as happy and as loved and just loved it when I mean loved with myself. um But as I am, i want I want to share a product with y'all that I made, like a material product that you can hold and touch and read just like I did.
00:26:14
Heather Morgan
the affirmation cards. So because it was so big for me to really stop feeling all that anxiety, I wanted to give an opportunity for you guys to have what I have in my life. So I made affirmation cards printed here locally in Tennessee, and I have them on my website. W well I don't need to say that wandering the wild mess dot com wandering the wild mess dot com.
00:26:44
Heather Morgan
They're on the website. They're available for purchase. I only have a limited supply this first time around because I just wanted to see and put it out there to the world and y'all because you're my best friends and I just wanted to see and hear that it could help y'all too.
00:27:07
Heather Morgan
And I'll kind of give one little last piece that I why I even thought this in my mind, because I knew that I wanted to give more than just this. And I, I thought I got to offer something that kind of aligns with what makes me feel excited in this world. And that's telling myself positive things.
00:27:27
Heather Morgan
And you know me, the queen of sleepovers. And I have these sets, still the ones from back in the day, like when I first started writing affirmation cards during my stressful time that helped me get through all this. And they were like, they'd sit on my kitchen counter. And um and I had them during my Airbnb month. And when um someone would get up and like after sleeping over in the morning, if they'd be dilly-dallying around or whatever in my kitchen,
00:27:54
Heather Morgan
or in wherever and they'd pick them up and see them and I said swear it was just like a weird thing and I would just see these like grown men going through the cards like what the like what does she have here?
00:28:07
Heather Morgan
And like, and they're not like any fancy writing, it's just me. And they're just like, kind of, they just get involved. And they're like, in thought, they just get like intrigued. And they're just like reading them. And I'm kind of like, huh. And I would just stop and watch. And multiple men did that. um And I realized like,
00:28:26
Heather Morgan
To me, it was just like a daily thing, but for a lot of people, it wasn't in their habits. They were kind of like, what, who, you know, who, who's, you read these every day? Like, what is it? Yeah. And I was like, yeah. It was like, do they work? And I'm like, yeah, it's really helpful. And so I wanted, so and then I thought back to that, like, for me, it's just normal for some people. It's like, they didn't, they're not reading these kinds of things and these thoughts every day.
00:28:52
Heather Morgan
So that kind of stemmed the idea. Like I want that offered to all. This is not, this is a, everybody that has a brain, a mind, a thought should be reading things that make them feel a little better. And this is short. This is easy to incorporate in your five minutes in the morning or before bed or both. It's just a few a handful of cards to read through and remind you the things that I want you to know are true because they are. And as soon as you continually put yourself in a place to believe those things, your life changes. Change your life or change your thoughts, change your life. I will
00:29:41
Heather Morgan
I will read really quickly something from young Pueblo since I haven't for a minute.
00:29:46
Heather Morgan
so You have to be willing to admit when you have lost your way. It is normal to lose sight of what's important, to stumble, to take a few steps backwards. A long journey is never a straight line. Gently telling yourself the hard truth is the best best method for realigning and getting back on the right path.
00:30:12
Heather Morgan
I want these affirmation cards and this podcast to be you finding the right path for you. And the best part about it, no one has to know you're listening. No one has to know you're reading them. It's for you. You deserve it. You're amazing. You can accomplish all the things, but your words and your thoughts are going to get you to the reality that you live.
00:30:43
Heather Morgan
I'm so glad that you're here. I hope that you will enjoy and get the affirmation cards and enjoy them and just five minutes out of your day for you to change your mind. And I would love to hear all the feedback and how it's helped you in your life. So excited for so many more things to come. So appreciative for you listening to this episode. And as always, this was wandering the wild mess with Heather Morgan. You matter.