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Scrote Recall Pt. 1: Why All Women Need to Have High Standards
42 Plays1 year ago
The Queens kick off the first part of the "Scrote Recall" series, where they present the case for why women need to hold and keep our standards sky high.
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Transcript
Introduction: Demanding More in Relationships
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome back to the Female Dating Strategy, the meanest female-only dating podcast on the internet.
00:00:04
Speaker
I'm your host, Diana.
00:00:06
Speaker
And I'm your host, Rose.
00:00:08
Speaker
And today we have a smorgasbord of information and data that we're going to parse through to present our argument, dear listeners, as to why we must, we can, we must ask for more.
00:00:21
Speaker
We must demand more and we will achieve more.
00:00:26
Speaker
Once we fulfill these demands.
00:00:27
Speaker
So Diana, we have a whole bunch to get into.
Systemic Bias in Relationships
00:00:30
Speaker
How can we introduce this to the listeners?
00:00:32
Speaker
Well, you know, a few weeks ago, we were talking about how a lot of people who are in relationships tend to feel like they're isolated in their problems.
00:00:41
Speaker
And they seem to think that when they're being shortchanged, it's like a personal matter.
00:00:44
Speaker
It's just something that's happening one on one.
00:00:47
Speaker
And I think what we want to do with this episode is try to impress on the audience.
00:00:51
Speaker
why your individual problems are actually a part of a huger global systemic bias and how the systemic bias affects you personally.
00:01:02
Speaker
Like it's not your problems.
00:01:04
Speaker
One of the things I feel like I really appreciate about the forum when it was back around in 2020 was it was the first time in my life that I ever felt like, you know, for a very long time in my dating life, I felt like all this shit that's happening to me,
00:01:15
Speaker
It's just me.
00:01:16
Speaker
It's because I'm the problem.
00:01:17
Speaker
You know, like I'm attracting these people.
00:01:19
Speaker
There's something wrong with me.
00:01:20
Speaker
I don't know how I'm meeting these people.
00:01:22
Speaker
And it made me feel crazy because any other person I consulted was very much like, oh, that's just the way men are and you can't do anything.
00:01:28
Speaker
And you just have to train them to be better people.
00:01:31
Speaker
And then there'll be better people.
00:01:32
Speaker
Have you tried to explain to them about our Lord and Savior feminism?
00:01:35
Speaker
Have you tried communicating?
00:01:38
Speaker
Yeah.
00:01:38
Speaker
It's like, have you tried to explain to them about bell hooks?
00:01:41
Speaker
And it's like, I don't think they get shit.
Men and Feminist Misunderstandings
00:01:43
Speaker
Okay.
00:01:43
Speaker
These men have not read since like 1995.
00:01:45
Speaker
Like, let's just call it a day.
00:01:48
Speaker
The last book they read was probably My Little Pony or something.
00:01:51
Speaker
G.I.
00:01:51
Speaker
Joe Goes to Love or some shit.
00:01:54
Speaker
Okay.
00:01:55
Speaker
Yes.
00:01:55
Speaker
They read The Great Gatsby and they were like, this is an aspirational tale.
00:01:59
Speaker
Yes.
00:01:59
Speaker
They watched American Psycho one time and made their entire personality that guy.
00:02:05
Speaker
They were like, Dan Brown, what if everything is the Illuminati, right?
00:02:11
Speaker
So this is so true.
00:02:12
Speaker
That's such a good point.
00:02:13
Speaker
That is, I think, why FDS on Reddit had such a huge impact on me as well.
00:02:17
Speaker
It was the first time that I was really hearing women's voices across the globe and hearing how there was just these threads of commonality throughout.
00:02:26
Speaker
Like, oh, you're experiencing the same thing in Russia that I'm experiencing here in the Midwest, or like you're in Brazil and it's the same thing as in like sub-Saharan Africa.
00:02:35
Speaker
How curious.
00:02:37
Speaker
What could it be?
00:02:38
Speaker
Yep.
00:02:39
Speaker
And guess what?
00:02:40
Speaker
There has been a global conspiracy to prevent women from comparing notes under the guise of gossip.
00:02:46
Speaker
And that's why historically men have always called women gossiping little bitches because they don't want us comparing notes.
00:02:52
Speaker
See, look at like the church, right?
00:02:53
Speaker
Like they've basically declared that gossiping is like a sin and that women shouldn't
Gossip as a Tool for Women's Communication
00:02:58
Speaker
gossip.
00:02:58
Speaker
Shouldn't gossip about your husband, especially if your husband is beating you.
00:03:01
Speaker
Don't be a gossip, you know, but gossip is very often a very valid way for women to share information with each other about what's going on.
00:03:08
Speaker
And the last thing men want us to do is to compare notes because then we'd be aware of exactly how fucked we're getting.
00:03:14
Speaker
If I'm not mistaken, sociologists have actually undertaken some studies and written some theses on this very topic of how gossip is absolutely fundamentally useful and necessary to the survival and thriving of communities.
00:03:28
Speaker
Okay, because we need to know if somebody's a wife beater.
00:03:31
Speaker
We need to know if somebody's a pedo.
00:03:33
Speaker
We need to know if somebody's fucking the dead at the morgue.
00:03:36
Speaker
Okay, these are all things that we need to know.
00:03:39
Speaker
I'm going to pose like a fun question to you.
00:03:42
Speaker
If you were the leader of the world, what is the first law, like your first amendment?
00:03:46
Speaker
What would be your first amendment?
00:03:47
Speaker
Because I know mine.
00:03:49
Speaker
Oh, what would be my first amendment?
00:03:52
Speaker
Women as sole property owners.
00:03:55
Speaker
Oh, that's good.
00:03:56
Speaker
My one is women have the right to yap.
00:04:01
Speaker
They have the right to say whatever the fuck they want.
00:04:03
Speaker
I'm a grade A yapper.
00:04:04
Speaker
Like I said, I support women's rights and I support their wrongs.
00:04:07
Speaker
And I think that women yapping is saving the world.
Men's Ignorance and Historical Resistance
00:04:10
Speaker
Women gossiping is saving the world.
00:04:13
Speaker
Yes, it is saving the world.
00:04:14
Speaker
And it has been proven by literal academic studies.
00:04:17
Speaker
Like all of this, have you tried communicating with him?
00:04:20
Speaker
Bitch, have you tried communicating to your next door neighbor?
00:04:23
Speaker
Your lovely lady neighbor?
00:04:24
Speaker
Like that's who you need to be talking to.
00:04:26
Speaker
That's who's going to be looking out for you.
00:04:27
Speaker
That's who's going to be protecting you.
00:04:29
Speaker
Like I can communicate to him the same way I can communicate to a cat to not piss on my bed after I take it to the vet.
00:04:35
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:04:36
Speaker
Like there's only going to do so much.
00:04:38
Speaker
Like I want people to understand is that your words can't control another person's response to you.
00:04:44
Speaker
Like there's only so much that words can do.
00:04:46
Speaker
That's why we advocate for responding with action or in our case inaction, right?
00:04:51
Speaker
You know, you can't give your dog the silent treatment because he's not going to get it.
00:04:55
Speaker
But a man, he'll get that every fucking time.
00:04:58
Speaker
Like that's the thing, right?
00:04:58
Speaker
Like there's no way to discourage men by telling them, hey, I don't appreciate it.
00:05:02
Speaker
I don't like it when you do this.
00:05:02
Speaker
Because the truth is many of them know.
00:05:05
Speaker
I don't understand where we've come up with this idea that men are these leaders and they're these great thinkers and they're these great philosophers, but they can't understand basic communication like, hey,
00:05:14
Speaker
don't leave your dirty dishes in the sink or hey, don't, you know, leave your skid marked underwear in the laundry basket.
00:05:20
Speaker
Like, I don't understand.
00:05:22
Speaker
Like, I think that they know that they don't need to explain this.
00:05:24
Speaker
I think that there's also this idea of like, men who grew up with mothers who constantly pester them about doing chores, after a point kind of like zone out their mother.
00:05:34
Speaker
And so their natural response is to just ignore women, like complaining at them.
00:05:39
Speaker
And this kind of extends to when they get married, I think, to a certain extent, because, you know, like, that's why inaction works.
00:05:44
Speaker
Because if you're repeating the same pattern that his mother is repeating of like, come on, honey, do this dish, like go outside and like, you know, chop some lumber or some shit.
00:05:53
Speaker
He's just going to ignore you because his response to that in childhood has been that if he just like ignores his mom, it will go away and she'll figure it out and do it herself.
00:06:01
Speaker
And they have a way out every single time.
00:06:03
Speaker
And not only that, but like they, a lot of these men have unaddressed resentment against the woman who was their authority figure in their lives, their mother.
00:06:13
Speaker
And a lot of it is just them like getting payback, so to speak, except the projected, you know, object of their ire is now you instead of their mother.
00:06:22
Speaker
And so a lot of them are getting their own back by mistreating you for all the ways they wish they would have been permitted to mistreat their own mother, which is so messed up.
00:06:30
Speaker
This is biblical, right?
00:06:32
Speaker
Like we were just talking about the story of Lilith in the Talmud and like the alphabet of Ben Sirah.
00:06:37
Speaker
I was just discussing with Rose about, you know, how Adam and Eve, like Adam had a wife before Eve, at least in like old Jewish Orthodox folklore.
00:06:46
Speaker
And a big part of why she was cast out of the Garden of Eden was because she refused to submit to him.
00:06:51
Speaker
So from the moment she was created off the earth as Adam was, they kept fighting with each other.
00:06:55
Speaker
So from the beginning, men have hated women's rebellion and our ability to stand up to them and not want to submit to them.
00:07:02
Speaker
And they've conspired with the higher authority to have us cast out of the garden that we, you know, worked at.
00:07:07
Speaker
We're the whole reason you have a bloody guard.
00:07:09
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:07:10
Speaker
So I think that, you know, men somewhere are hardwired to think that a woman who's not submitting to him is a direct threat to his own sense of masculinity because his sense of masculinity is derived from subjugation and domination of other people, which is why you have to be extremely careful with men who see sex as an act of domination as opposed to an act of partnership and mutual
Sex, Domination, and Societal Roles
00:07:31
Speaker
love.
00:07:31
Speaker
Because you'd be surprised how many men, and I mean, pornography has kind of exposed this to us, right?
00:07:36
Speaker
That like a lot of men don't really view sex as an act of connection.
00:07:41
Speaker
They see it as an act of domination.
00:07:43
Speaker
And we're seeing this play out like in the globe, you know, women's roles in society.
00:07:48
Speaker
Like we're looking at really extreme societies.
00:07:50
Speaker
Like today, we're going to be looking at really extreme societies and like Afghanistan and like the States and like how even progressive countries have kind of rolled back
00:07:58
Speaker
on women's rights, because for some reason, historically, it's always seemed like it's easier to control a woman's experience and a woman's role in society than to tell men what to do.
00:08:09
Speaker
And that's always been the solution to handling problems that men have started is
00:08:13
Speaker
hey, instead of giving men a reality check and forcing them to confront the fact that they need to evolve, we're going to remove the hard-won rights that women have so that they don't have the ability to live a life of agency.
00:08:25
Speaker
Yes.
00:08:26
Speaker
And this dates back to biblical times.
00:08:28
Speaker
In fact, we'll circle back to this tale of Lilith and Adam and Eve and Cain and Abel when we get a little further down in this conversation.
00:08:38
Speaker
But as we wrap up our intro, we're going to discuss first,
00:08:43
Speaker
Why is this so important to you?
00:08:46
Speaker
It's your life.
00:08:48
Speaker
You get one.
00:08:49
Speaker
Why do you think that just because it's happening to you, it's not happening to everybody else?
00:08:53
Speaker
And why do you think that you should be punished eternally for a choice that you made two years, five years, 10 years, 20 years ago?
00:09:01
Speaker
Like it's never too late to extricate yourself from these situations that are disadvantageous to you.
00:09:06
Speaker
In fact, it is to your betterment.
00:09:09
Speaker
The sooner you can leave, the better.
00:09:11
Speaker
Okay.
00:09:12
Speaker
So we're providing these statistics, A, to either ward you off or
00:09:16
Speaker
And give you an insight into why it's so important that you be absolutely ruthless when determining who you permit into your life.
00:09:23
Speaker
And two, we want you to know you're not alone.
00:09:26
Speaker
This is something that's been happening globally.
00:09:27
Speaker
It's systemic.
00:09:28
Speaker
It is the system.
00:09:30
Speaker
It is designed to work this way.
00:09:32
Speaker
Us trying to change it is why we're seeing so much pushback.
00:09:35
Speaker
All these calls to roll back our rights.
00:09:37
Speaker
And all of these pushes either legislatively or socially.
00:09:42
Speaker
It's all because men know their power is slipping away with each woman who escapes an abusive husband, with each girlfriend who leaves her porn sick scrot of a boyfriend.
Women's Evolution and Global Indicators
00:09:53
Speaker
It is the sound of women's liberation.
00:09:56
Speaker
And this is what we want for one of us.
00:09:58
Speaker
And we want it for all of us.
00:10:01
Speaker
So,
00:10:02
Speaker
Diana, last thought?
00:10:03
Speaker
I think we're in a position now where it's, you know, we always say it's going to get worse before it gets better.
00:10:10
Speaker
And we can kind of see that in the world right now, because I think we're going to evolve to a collective stage where women in general, as we're already seeing, a lot more women are just more emotionally evolved to keep up with the world that we're in now.
00:10:23
Speaker
And the world that we're in now is very different from the world that our mothers and grandmothers grew up in.
00:10:27
Speaker
And I don't think that the men have evolved at the same pace.
00:10:30
Speaker
And so, you know, we live in a very Darwinian society, whether men want to acknowledge it or not, you have to adapt to the way of the world or you will perish doing it.
00:10:39
Speaker
And so I think a lot of women are scared.
00:10:41
Speaker
And we want to assure you, like, you know, it's normal to be scared, I think, because we're entering a time of so much uncertainty.
00:10:48
Speaker
And we're seeing all this like really messed up stuff around the world.
00:10:51
Speaker
And so, you know, we want to assure our viewers that like, this is part of the change.
00:10:55
Speaker
Things are going to be
00:10:57
Speaker
Like, look at all the previous liberation movements and all the previous waves of feminism.
00:11:01
Speaker
They had to get extreme losses in order to have big gains.
00:11:06
Speaker
They lost things in order to have, sacrifices were made for us to enjoy the kinds of leisure, like the kind of lifestyle that we have now.
00:11:14
Speaker
That's why I don't take my freedom so lightly, because I know that it came on the backs of other women who really had to sacrifice in order for me to have it.
00:11:23
Speaker
So you're doing the responsible thing by living your life on your terms.
00:11:28
Speaker
And so we want to encourage women to do that because as Rose said, this is your life.
00:11:33
Speaker
This is your life.
00:11:34
Speaker
So we're going to give you, you know, a reality check this episode.
00:11:38
Speaker
Rose, want to take it away?
00:11:40
Speaker
With love and respect.
00:11:41
Speaker
Yeah, we're giving you a reality check.
00:11:43
Speaker
With love.
00:11:45
Speaker
But also with an exhortation to really and truly take this seriously.
00:11:48
Speaker
These are mortal concerns.
00:11:50
Speaker
It literally is a life or death issue.
00:11:52
Speaker
And so with that, we're going to get into it.
00:11:54
Speaker
So one of the things we wanted to talk about was like, well, how do we even measure women's lives under patriarchy?
00:11:59
Speaker
What do we do with all this data and all these statistics?
00:12:02
Speaker
Well, I have the answer for you, listeners.
00:12:04
Speaker
This one article I'm going to cite, actually, it's a journal.
00:12:07
Speaker
It's
00:12:08
Speaker
Women, Business, and the Law 2024.
00:12:10
Speaker
And one of the first things they do is they lay out a table, which introduces the 10 indicators towards better measurement of laws, policies, and practices.
00:12:21
Speaker
Okay, so these 10 indicators, we're going to look at in this conversation.
00:12:26
Speaker
to give us an idea of what applies to us personally and politically, because the personal sure as hell is political if you're a woman, and what we need to understand if we're going to undertake dating and marriage in this kind of framework.
00:12:41
Speaker
So these 10 indicators, safety, these include laws that address child marriage, sexual harassment, domestic violence, and femicide.
00:12:50
Speaker
Mobility.
00:12:51
Speaker
This includes a women's agency, freedom of movement, citizenship rights as it concerns their children and spouses.
00:12:59
Speaker
Workplace.
00:13:01
Speaker
This pertains to protections against discrimination based on gender, protections in recruitment, flexible work arrangements, etc.
00:13:09
Speaker
Pay.
00:13:10
Speaker
Mandates of equal remuneration for women and men for work of equal value and women's work at night in industrial jobs and in jobs deemed dangerous.
00:13:20
Speaker
Next up, marriage.
00:13:22
Speaker
Constraints related to marriage and divorce, because equal rights in marriage and divorce are critical to a woman's agency, financial security, and health.
00:13:31
Speaker
Parenthood.
00:13:33
Speaker
The availability of paid maternity and paternity leave, whether its cost is covered by the government and whether dismissal of pregnant workers is prohibited.
00:13:42
Speaker
Childcare.
00:13:44
Speaker
Laws that regulate the availability, affordability, and quality of child care services.
00:13:49
Speaker
entrepreneurship, constraints to a woman's ability to start and run a business, gender sensitive criteria in public procurement, and quotas for women on public corporate boards.
Empowerment in Matriarchal Societies
00:14:01
Speaker
I especially like that last point.
00:14:02
Speaker
And that's one of the points I'll get into later.
00:14:04
Speaker
Assets, women's right to immovable assets through property rights and inheritance, including land rights.
00:14:11
Speaker
Diana, I love that question.
00:14:12
Speaker
What would my first law be?
00:14:13
Speaker
And I was like, only women get land rights.
00:14:16
Speaker
You know what?
00:14:17
Speaker
I said what I said.
00:14:20
Speaker
You know what's wild?
00:14:20
Speaker
There's actually a state in India where that's the case because it's a matriarchal state.
00:14:26
Speaker
So it's only the women that can own property and rights and land rights.
00:14:29
Speaker
And that's why a lot of Indian men from the mainland try to marry them to like try to basically get their land.
00:14:36
Speaker
And this was in an indigenous community I lived in in Brazil, the Guarani.
00:14:40
Speaker
The owners and the holders of homes are women.
00:14:44
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:14:45
Speaker
What are they called?
00:14:47
Speaker
Guaraní, the Guaraní.
00:14:49
Speaker
They're actually the largest indigenous community in South America.
00:14:52
Speaker
They live mostly along the Atlantic coastline from Guyana to Argentina.
00:14:57
Speaker
but they're notoriously secretive.
00:14:58
Speaker
So most people haven't heard of them.
00:15:00
Speaker
But when I found out that the majority of women are the ones who hold the land and the homes, they were like, well, yeah, because the women are the mothers and the children and the mothers always need somewhere to stay.
00:15:10
Speaker
And when these men leave, they're welcome to leave, but they are left without a home, right?
00:15:16
Speaker
So they're going to have to find somebody else, their home to stay in.
00:15:18
Speaker
And I was like, that makes so much sense.
00:15:20
Speaker
So I think that's what actually inspired that, that retort of mine was like,
00:15:24
Speaker
Yeah, if women have property rights, there is such a difference in security and safety.
00:15:28
Speaker
Finally, the last indicator, and this is something that I've been harping on amongst my lady friends because we're all entering middle age and I'm like, we need to really start thinking about this.
00:15:36
Speaker
This is a serious matter.
00:15:37
Speaker
Pension, differences in retirement ages and whether the law allows for pension care credits to compensate for a woman's career interruptions.
00:15:49
Speaker
These are the 10 indicators.
00:15:50
Speaker
Let's get into it.
00:15:51
Speaker
Awesome.
00:15:52
Speaker
What do you want to start with?
00:15:54
Speaker
There's so much to go into.
00:15:55
Speaker
So it's like, we're going to try to be as organized as possible, but also understand like it's such a huge, dense world of data.
00:16:01
Speaker
We can only do so much.
00:16:03
Speaker
And one thing we wanted to talk about first and foremost was how under FDS law, there is a difference and we advocate for equity versus equality.
00:16:11
Speaker
Diana, please give us some insight into that.
Dating, Equity, and Expectations
00:16:15
Speaker
Okay, well, you know, I think a lot of people, they shoot themselves in the foot by harping on equality.
00:16:22
Speaker
You know, let me speak from personal experience as well.
00:16:24
Speaker
I was one of these people.
00:16:26
Speaker
I used to go out on the old dates and like,
00:16:28
Speaker
go out on dates with like men who are obviously way more established than I was professionally, men who have way more money and power than I did.
00:16:36
Speaker
And like out of trying to prove that I wasn't trying to use them, it was a combination of things, right?
00:16:42
Speaker
Like I didn't want them to think I was using them.
00:16:43
Speaker
But at the same time, I didn't want to feel like sexually responsible to sleep with them.
00:16:49
Speaker
And so I would pay for my dates just to be like, oh, look, I'm not a gold digger.
00:16:52
Speaker
And like, you know, and also to give me an out so that in case they did try to pressure me to sleep with them, that I would be like, well, you know, why would I do that?
00:16:58
Speaker
And so inherently, I think women know that there's a social code that if he like pays for you, the expectation is that you're supposed to reward him with your body or whatever.
00:17:06
Speaker
By the way, this is a modern, this is a modern construction.
00:17:08
Speaker
Women and dating in the past never included this.
00:17:12
Speaker
Exactly.
00:17:12
Speaker
And honestly, the way that this is behaving, I think, has stemmed from pornography and sex work.
00:17:17
Speaker
It's giving prostitution, Diana.
00:17:19
Speaker
It's giving prostitution.
00:17:20
Speaker
It's actually prostitution on a budget, really.
00:17:23
Speaker
Because you're the discount.
00:17:25
Speaker
Like you're basically the equivalent of a soup kitchen sexually.
00:17:29
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:17:30
Speaker
Like you have downgraded yourself so much because even the prostitutes are demanding more.
00:17:34
Speaker
Like I remember like, you know, when I lived in Los Angeles, obviously Los Angeles is a city that attracts a lot of adult actors, a lot of sugar babies, a lot of like the, you know, the sex workers in general.
00:17:44
Speaker
I remember one of them was like, you know, the difference between being a wife and being a prostitute is that a wife sleeps with a man for free.
00:17:51
Speaker
And I was like, hey, that's that's wild.
00:17:55
Speaker
I've never thought about it like that.
00:17:58
Speaker
Right.
00:17:59
Speaker
It was like I would never sleep with a man for free.
00:18:02
Speaker
And I was like, well, when you put it that way.
00:18:04
Speaker
But of course, you know, one thing I will say is I don't entirely subscribe to that either, because I think that in a good marriage, the wife's rights are protected.
00:18:13
Speaker
He will be leaving you property.
00:18:14
Speaker
He'd be leaving you money.
00:18:16
Speaker
He'd be ensuring that if he's gone, that you're well protected.
00:18:19
Speaker
Like that's why I don't buy into the, it's just a piece of paper thing.
00:18:22
Speaker
Because when it comes down to it, the state really values that piece of paper.
00:18:25
Speaker
That piece of paper determines whether you get to have that man's assets and whether you get to have his last possessions and maybe really valuable things.
00:18:32
Speaker
Like maybe you started a company with that guy.
00:18:34
Speaker
Maybe you like, you know, the person who managed, like I know a lady, for example, whose husband owned a lot of properties.
00:18:40
Speaker
And the actual property management of the place was up to her.
00:18:43
Speaker
Like she was the one to hire the staff.
00:18:45
Speaker
She's the one who had to make sure all the rentals were taken care of.
00:18:47
Speaker
And then when he passed away, guess who inherited all those properties?
00:18:50
Speaker
Her.
00:18:51
Speaker
And it was her own labor anyway.
00:18:52
Speaker
So that to me was more than equitable, right?
00:18:54
Speaker
I mean, that was equity to me because he honored the level of labor that he put in.
00:18:58
Speaker
He could have
00:18:59
Speaker
just as well easily distributed to it, like it distributed that property to like all his kids who weren't involved in like the actual project management of the space.
00:19:07
Speaker
But he left it to his wife because he was like, well, she's the one who's been in charge of this.
00:19:11
Speaker
She's the one who's always handled this and made my life easier so that I could pursue my career.
00:19:15
Speaker
So it's a fair exchange for me to give her all of this.
00:19:17
Speaker
And then she can determine when she's ready to move on, which kid gets what.
00:19:20
Speaker
And obviously she's a very fair mom, so she'd probably give it to all of her kids.
00:19:23
Speaker
But
00:19:24
Speaker
Again, he left that up to her.
00:19:25
Speaker
Right.
00:19:26
Speaker
And I think in an ideal scenario, if you have a good husband, he will be looking out for your financial interests because men are not stupid.
00:19:32
Speaker
Like even when I was growing up, you know, we had a cleaning lady in my house who joined us like really, really young.
00:19:39
Speaker
And, you know, her father passed away, she was really young.
00:19:41
Speaker
So her parents, her mother put like a lot of pressure on her to marry because she came from obviously a very impoverished background and her background, it's very common to get married young.
00:19:49
Speaker
And so she got lucky in that she married someone who worked in the UAE in Dubai.
00:19:54
Speaker
And so he was never really at home.
00:19:56
Speaker
Like he was sending money like a lot of men from South Asia go to work in the Middle East and like they remit money back into the country, like into Pakistan or Bangladesh or India or whatever.
00:20:05
Speaker
And like their wives, this is considered an ideal scenario, by the way, because there are a lot of women who are married to like low life scrotes who like drink and beat them and don't do anything, don't even work.
00:20:14
Speaker
So this was like an ideal scenario to be married to a guy who you don't have to deal with, who's like in another country and just sending you money.
00:20:21
Speaker
But my dad was very insistent that she have her own house.
00:20:25
Speaker
And she was like, they won't allow me to have this house in my name because they'll insist that I share it with my husband or, you know, like they'll make me put his name on the deed and stuff because that's what, you know, women are supposed to do.
00:20:36
Speaker
They're supposed to give whatever they have to the man as like a dowry or whatever, you know.
00:20:40
Speaker
And so my dad said, I will buy you this house on the condition that you're the sole owner of the deed.
00:20:46
Speaker
And so he bought the house for her and he explained to me and he was like, today she might not understand what I did.
00:20:52
Speaker
But tomorrow, if any man comes to try to literally rip the roof off of her head when she has kids, she's going to remember that this has protected her and that it's her house.
00:21:01
Speaker
They can't kick her out of her house.
00:21:03
Speaker
And when COVID happened, her husband couldn't send money anymore in Dubai because everything was like shut down.
00:21:09
Speaker
And so she was out of money for a little bit and she had to go back to working in houses.
00:21:12
Speaker
And she was like, his brother, her brother-in-law tried to claim the house and tried to get her to sell the house because it wasn't in his name and it was under her name.
00:21:19
Speaker
He couldn't do that.
00:21:20
Speaker
And so she was like, when I was that young, I didn't understand where your dad was coming from because I was like, isn't my husband going to protect me?
00:21:26
Speaker
And my husband couldn't protect me in this scenario because he wasn't even in the country.
00:21:30
Speaker
And his brother came in to try to steal my property.
00:21:32
Speaker
And my kids would have been homeless if it wasn't for the fact that I owned my house.
00:21:36
Speaker
God, the audacity of these men, the audacity of these fucking men.
00:21:41
Speaker
Exactly.
00:21:42
Speaker
So these guys were playing checkers and my dad was playing chess.
00:21:44
Speaker
So, you know, men know, men know, men know like exactly what money is worth and what it can do for you.
00:21:52
Speaker
And they rely on you not understanding.
00:21:56
Speaker
Exactly.
00:21:56
Speaker
And they know it's the difference between your freedom and your ability to live your life unencumbered and your subjugation.
Financial Independence and Traditional Roles
00:22:03
Speaker
And so, you know, any guy who tries to convince you that you should want to be a trad wife for like the love of children and because you really like wearing a peasant skirt is a very disingenuous man and you should quickly throw him in the gutter.
00:22:15
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:22:15
Speaker
That's like the ultimate red flight.
00:22:17
Speaker
Like this is a man who will absolutely toss you out on your ass with no assets.
00:22:22
Speaker
And move in a 10 years, a 15, a 20 year younger model with absolutely no compunction, regardless of whether you have children with him or not.
00:22:30
Speaker
Because honestly, once they have the new model, that's all they care about.
00:22:33
Speaker
They want the wife appliance.
00:22:34
Speaker
They don't actually care about a lot of these kids.
00:22:36
Speaker
And that's why I was so impressed when I worked with the Guarani, because I had never heard of this before, where the woman was automatically the inheritor and the owner of all homes.
00:22:45
Speaker
Because, you know, it's not like a lot of these indigenous are working within the constraints of reservations within the reserves of the government apportions to them.
00:22:53
Speaker
And so it's not like they can leave and go off res and just like, you know, buy a home, build a home, have land for cheap.
00:23:01
Speaker
This is all increasingly valuable real estate.
00:23:03
Speaker
And so they have to work within the constraints of how much land the reservation has allocated to them.
00:23:08
Speaker
And then do you know how hard it is to bring in materials to build in these places that they tend to live?
00:23:13
Speaker
You know, and yet all of these women, I think most of them start having kids by like 15 to 18.
00:23:18
Speaker
That's the average.
00:23:19
Speaker
Yep.
00:23:20
Speaker
And they'll have multiples by the time they're 20.
00:23:22
Speaker
And I think I worked there and I lived adjacent to the reservation on and off for two years doing my dissertation research.
00:23:30
Speaker
And I cannot tell you like the merry-go-round of relationships and men moving in and out and moving on.
00:23:37
Speaker
And yet these women were always assured a home for themselves and for their children.
00:23:42
Speaker
And that's when it really started to impress me.
00:23:44
Speaker
Like,
00:23:44
Speaker
oh wow, I had never really considered how important it was to be the owner, the mistress of your own home.
00:23:51
Speaker
I'm so proud of your dad.
00:23:52
Speaker
Wow, that's such a cool move, Diana's dad.
00:23:56
Speaker
Thanks.
00:23:56
Speaker
Yeah, my dad was great.
00:23:57
Speaker
Like he was the one who gave her away at her wedding.
00:24:00
Speaker
And like every year, you know, during our festivals, we're supposed to be giving people like money.
00:24:05
Speaker
You know, we give like the staff money or we give them gifts and stuff.
00:24:07
Speaker
And she always wanted like gold earrings and stuff.
00:24:09
Speaker
And my dad used to buy her like those little gold bars and like to keep in her bank account as like spare cash in the event that she ever needed to break it.
00:24:16
Speaker
So he really considered her like a second child and like really, you know, and like when he passed away, she was at the funeral, like crying and bawling the loudest because she really felt like he was her second dad.
00:24:26
Speaker
And she was like, no man has ever looked out for me the way that your dad has looked out for me.
00:24:30
Speaker
I remember the only time my dad has ever yelled at me was because I was once like criticizing my mom about like spending like an obnoxious amount of money on like a friend.
00:24:38
Speaker
birthday gift or something.
00:24:40
Speaker
And that was the one and only time that my dad has like ever yelled at me like that.
00:24:43
Speaker
And he was like, you don't ask a grown woman what she's doing with the money that she's earned.
00:24:47
Speaker
Like he was so pissed at me.
00:24:49
Speaker
And he was like, I want you to get it through your head that anybody questioning like a grown woman's assets and her money and somebody who's looking into her purse is like a despicable person.
00:24:57
Speaker
Like you should never do that.
00:24:59
Speaker
You should never look at like your mom has worked hard for that money.
00:25:01
Speaker
She can give it to whoever the hell she wants to.
00:25:03
Speaker
I don't ask her as her husband.
00:25:04
Speaker
You have no right to ask her as her kid.
00:25:06
Speaker
Like really considered it like a
00:25:08
Speaker
you know, extreme breach and violation of our agency.
00:25:11
Speaker
So I think my dad really did attach women's freedom to their monetary ability to gain assets because he saw just how easy it was for women to have their entire lives taken over by men just purely because they didn't have access to, you know, when we were talking about how do we measure women's lives under patriarchy, this is how.
00:25:29
Speaker
Their ability to procure resources, their ability to be educated, their ability to take a position in a job that will allow them to create an income,
00:25:38
Speaker
and their ability to own land.
00:25:39
Speaker
And these are the four things that he paid attention to as well when it came to saving for me and like the inheritance I had when he passed away.
00:25:47
Speaker
But it was also how he kind of educated and supported all the women in his life by being able to fund their dreams and passions and stuff like
00:25:54
Speaker
He was very, very responsible with his money, but he was also a person who invested his money in projects that he was passionate about.
00:26:01
Speaker
You know, artistic restoration, women's education.
00:26:04
Speaker
Like even after he passed away, I would constantly get calls because I got his phone number.
00:26:07
Speaker
I would always get calls from like charities because his mom died from breast cancer.
00:26:11
Speaker
So, you know, I'd get all these like calls from cancer facilities because he was a donor.
00:26:16
Speaker
And he would donate to all these like women's health issue boards and stuff.
00:26:19
Speaker
And like, I learned a lot about him after he passed away, the extent to which, you know, he passionately put his money where his mouth is.
00:26:26
Speaker
And this is like what I want to tell women fundamentally, like a real man is somebody who puts their money where their mouth is.
True Allyship and Women's Rights Struggle
00:26:31
Speaker
If he believes in certain things and he has certain values,
00:26:33
Speaker
you will see him acting on that every day.
00:26:36
Speaker
That is who he is.
00:26:37
Speaker
He does not want any applause or any accolades or adulation for doing that.
00:26:41
Speaker
That is just who he is.
00:26:42
Speaker
Most of the things my dad did, I wasn't even aware of until after he passed.
00:26:45
Speaker
I had no idea what kind of impact he had on the women around us until after he passed away and people started coming out of the woodwork and said,
00:26:52
Speaker
you know, your dad did this for me, like, you know, dropped out of school, and I didn't know what the fuck I was going to do.
00:26:56
Speaker
And like, your dad encouraged me to do this, like my dad's company driver, like he didn't want to educate his two daughters.
00:27:01
Speaker
And my dad was the one that put them through med school.
00:27:03
Speaker
And now they're doctors, you know, so like, that's why I said, I really had a strong foundation for what men can be.
00:27:09
Speaker
So I just don't tolerate nonsense in general, because I know that they put their money where their mouth is when they really, really do believe
00:27:16
Speaker
in women's liberation.
00:27:17
Speaker
And I think our liberation is tied so heavily to our ability to access and procure resources for ourselves.
00:27:23
Speaker
So your ability to educate yourself, your ability to buy a house, your ability to get a job, don't take these things lightly because people fought for you to have them.
00:27:30
Speaker
Even in the States, it wasn't until like the seventies that people could own bank accounts.
00:27:34
Speaker
And what, you know, people had to rely on their husbands to be able to get passports and travel.
00:27:37
Speaker
Like in Iran, people still need to ask their husband for permission to get a passport to travel.
00:27:42
Speaker
You need permission from your husband to be able to open a bank account.
00:27:45
Speaker
If you live in the Taliban, like, you know, ruled Afghanistan right now, you can't even go to school.
00:27:49
Speaker
Like you can't sing in public.
00:27:50
Speaker
You can't go to public park.
00:27:52
Speaker
People think that like, you know, this is such a far flung extreme reality that is not something that can happen to you.
00:27:58
Speaker
I just want people to remember that they didn't think it could happen to them either.
00:28:02
Speaker
You know, in the 70s in Iran and Afghanistan, like they were wearing mini skirts and tank tops and going to school.
00:28:07
Speaker
And I don't think a single one of those women ever thought they'd be living in that kind of country now.
00:28:12
Speaker
So, you know, don't get too complacent.
00:28:14
Speaker
This isn't a fear monger.
00:28:15
Speaker
This is to be honest, you know, you need to ally yourself with people who genuinely give a shit about you.
00:28:21
Speaker
And if you can't find them, you don't ally with them, period.
00:28:25
Speaker
And I think part of what
00:28:26
Speaker
women are scared of, and I know it's been my greatest fear, is being alone.
00:28:32
Speaker
And Diana, this has been, you know, almost a pathological crippling fear of mine since I was very young.
00:28:37
Speaker
Because again, I was the odd duck out in my family.
00:28:41
Speaker
I was always being ostracized because I asked the wrong question or I had that kind of tone of voice.
00:28:46
Speaker
And I was heavily penalized, forever straying from these very strict dictates of girlhood.
00:28:52
Speaker
and girl childhood.
00:28:54
Speaker
And so, you know, we grew up in the countryside, we didn't have close neighbors.
00:28:59
Speaker
I grew up alone, I was the youngest.
00:29:01
Speaker
So it was like, well, I guess I'll go practice piano, or like, I guess I'm gonna go read this book now, because I had to occupy myself.
00:29:08
Speaker
Otherwise, it was like the existential weight of despair would just crush me.
00:29:12
Speaker
So very early on, I learned how to entertain myself, because there was nobody there to entertain me.
00:29:17
Speaker
And as I got older and I moved out, I went to college.
00:29:20
Speaker
I lived in the dorms.
00:29:21
Speaker
I moved to South America in my 20s and just went backpacking and wanted to inhale the world.
00:29:28
Speaker
I grew up so far from society and culture.
00:29:31
Speaker
I just wanted to absorb everything.
00:29:33
Speaker
And so I was like, well, we'll try South America because I can pick up Spanish and then I can basically travel unencumbered by language across the borders, which was actually a really sound decision now that I look back on it.
00:29:43
Speaker
But when I tell you the situations I put myself in, the people I allowed in my life, the friends I permitted, they were always the danger to me.
00:29:51
Speaker
People would always say, aren't you scared?
00:29:53
Speaker
Like, isn't it dangerous to be traveling alone?
00:29:56
Speaker
Actually, no.
00:29:57
Speaker
I had the fewest incidents when I traveled alone.
00:30:00
Speaker
I had the most trouble when I had the wrong friends or the wrong men around me.
00:30:04
Speaker
And even after all of those like up close and clear and present dangers, when I returned to the States and I went to the graduate program,
00:30:11
Speaker
In my 30s, once again, I was like so desperate for company, so desperate to finally find somebody who was going to fill this empty hole within me, you know, this black hole of meaning validation, of wanting somebody to mirror me, of like wanting these nurturing bonds.
00:30:28
Speaker
And I went through a whole bunch of other incidents with men and with friends.
00:30:32
Speaker
And I think the only thing that kind of arrested that downward spiral was I sought out and the universe gave me the best therapist I could have ever asked for.
00:30:42
Speaker
And this was a woman who was already in her 70s.
00:30:44
Speaker
She could have retired.
00:30:46
Speaker
She didn't want to because she loved her job too much.
00:30:48
Speaker
And she was a specialist in working with graduate students from the program I was in, or actually from the university I was in.
00:30:55
Speaker
It's a well-known university and they're well-known peccadillos.
00:30:58
Speaker
And so it did kind of take a particular kind of therapist to really understand where I was coming from.
00:31:03
Speaker
And with very assiduous work with her over the course of the last 10 years, I have really come out of that downward spiral of like, I need somebody to validate me.
00:31:15
Speaker
I can't be alone.
00:31:17
Speaker
I have to consume drugs and alcohol in order to like,
00:31:21
Speaker
Buffett myself from the ill winds of solitude.
00:31:24
Speaker
Like it was just it was a whole thing.
00:31:26
Speaker
And this isn't the rose show.
00:31:28
Speaker
So I won't go into further detail.
00:31:29
Speaker
But all of this is to say, ladies, listeners, I understand why it's so hard to be alone.
00:31:35
Speaker
It's this fear of being alone.
00:31:37
Speaker
It's this fear of being faced with oneself without any buffers between you and yourself.
00:31:43
Speaker
So I think what we need to understand is that the only thing worse than that sort of situation is being aligned with the wrong man.
Equity vs. Equality
00:31:52
Speaker
If we think it's bad to be alone, it is infinitely worse to be with a man who does not have our best interests at heart, who is not acting in good faith, who is simply there for their own betterment and selfish pursuit of naked self-interest.
00:32:07
Speaker
These are the kind of individuals who will make being alone look like a walk in the park.
00:32:13
Speaker
And so that's why we're talking about all this.
00:32:15
Speaker
It's not to fear monger, as Diana said, it's not.
00:32:18
Speaker
But it's to really help you to look at the fact that it's not you alone who's experiencing this.
00:32:24
Speaker
This is women across the globe on every continent, throughout every decade of every millennia that we've lived through.
00:32:30
Speaker
Women have been fighting these battles.
00:32:32
Speaker
And I know oftentimes when you look at like labor laws in the U.S., one thing they say is all of these laws have been written in blood.
00:32:41
Speaker
meaning somebody had to die or be seriously injured in order for laws to be enacted.
00:32:47
Speaker
And that's how it is with women and all of our rights.
00:32:50
Speaker
Women have shed blood.
00:32:51
Speaker
Women have died in order to procure for us these rights that we often take so cavalierly.
00:32:57
Speaker
And so as we look at all of this data, this idea of equity versus equality, I don't know, have you ever seen Diana?
00:33:03
Speaker
There's like a little cartoon done where it shows the difference between equity and equality.
00:33:09
Speaker
where you're trying to look over a fence.
00:33:11
Speaker
And like, if you're talking about equality, well, everybody gets the same stoop, right?
00:33:15
Speaker
Everybody gets the same ladder to look over.
00:33:17
Speaker
But what if you're born shorter?
00:33:19
Speaker
You know, what if you're missing a leg and you can't actually climb up on it?
00:33:22
Speaker
Or what if you're blind?
00:33:23
Speaker
What does it help if you all have the same size ladder, if you have these particular right issues?
00:33:29
Speaker
And so equity is the idea of things are actually tailored to whatever you need in order to make sure that you have the same access.
00:33:38
Speaker
and resources as everybody else right that is what we want for you yeah you know i think real equity also be getting rid of the fucking fence because why oh we got a marxist on our hands why are we looking at this through the fence like because the thing is we don't live in a society that trusts other people because men have made it a low trust society you know
00:34:01
Speaker
And we can't trust like they're not going to be equitable.
00:34:04
Speaker
You know, you bring these people who aren't used to treating women with equity in their own country to a country where women have more equitable, you know, upbringings.
00:34:12
Speaker
And then you see how they react.
00:34:13
Speaker
And they're just fucking creeps.
00:34:14
Speaker
They're hanging around parks and shit, scaring the crap out of kids, you know.
00:34:18
Speaker
And so I think that immigration law in general should prioritize women more.
00:34:22
Speaker
I think we need more women in immigration law and more women in border control and homeland that are encouraging more women who are coming from these countries who want to build lives for themselves and encouraging them to start new lives in countries where they'd be contribute more to the economy.
00:34:36
Speaker
They care more about contributing to the economy.
00:34:38
Speaker
And I think that they'd commit less crime.
00:34:40
Speaker
But, you know, more than anything, like I really want to debunk this idea that men don't know what equity is.
00:34:46
Speaker
They absolutely do know what it is.
00:34:47
Speaker
If my dad, who was born in the 50s, knew it, I'm telling you that these men who were born with all the resources in the 1990s and the 2000s, like they know what the fuck that, you know, is going on.
00:34:57
Speaker
The difference is that because of social media and because of these like male podcast hosts who shall not be named, they're getting radicalized and brainwashed to be even more conservative, like almost comically more conservative than their counterparts from the 50s and the 60s and the 70s.
00:35:12
Speaker
Right.
00:35:13
Speaker
It's unreal.
00:35:15
Speaker
It's unreal.
00:35:15
Speaker
And actually men my age are like, what is going on with these younger men?
00:35:18
Speaker
Like, yeah, we've got some issues in our 40s and 50s.
00:35:21
Speaker
But like this radicalization from online sources, it's comical, but it's also deadly.
00:35:27
Speaker
I think it's also that they're angry, right?
00:35:29
Speaker
Because like, again, when we bring back the point to equity versus equality, right?
00:35:34
Speaker
Equity is really for us to ensure that women are getting like women's contributions are being acknowledged and are being compensated fairly, right?
00:35:43
Speaker
Right now, that's not what's happening.
00:35:45
Speaker
And men are seeing, you know, women entering the workforce, women buying homes, women entering, like joining colleges at a higher rate.
00:35:52
Speaker
You know, now that the barriers have been removed for women to have space in these places, they're seeing that as this is an infringement of my rights.
00:36:00
Speaker
which is a very weird thing because the truth is that A, you're stupid and you're not doing well at school.
00:36:06
Speaker
And B, like this entire game has been rigged for you.
00:36:08
Speaker
This is like playing Monopoly and this guy got all the great properties up front.
00:36:12
Speaker
And now he's upset that women are joining the game at this stage and like buying one or two properties that he really wanted and never rolled the dice on.
00:36:18
Speaker
Like you still have way more than the average woman that you're looking at.
00:36:22
Speaker
Excellent analogy.
00:36:23
Speaker
Yeah, I think it's just like you're upset that like women aren't forced to want you.
00:36:28
Speaker
And it's a very strange thing to me because I want to be with the person because they actually like me and because they envision a life with me because they like me because of the qualities that I have.
00:36:37
Speaker
Not because like they're a caged bird that's forced to like me.
00:36:41
Speaker
And I think a lot of men get off on this idea that you're a caged bird.
00:36:44
Speaker
I think that is.
00:36:45
Speaker
It's not that just that they're mad about that you're not forced to want them.
00:36:48
Speaker
They're absolutely furious that you are not forced to need them.
00:36:52
Speaker
I think this was a couple episodes back where it was like, you know, if he can't feed you, he can't starve you.
00:36:58
Speaker
And I think this is sort of the hidden underbelly of so many of these heterosexual relationships.
00:37:03
Speaker
These men are happy as long as they feel like they have the upper hand, they have the power, they are the ones in a position of authority.
00:37:11
Speaker
Women, by obtaining education, by obtaining career opportunities, by obtaining our own homes and resources, are imperiling their ability to basically enslave us.
00:37:24
Speaker
And they haven't actually taken a look at why that's so necessary for them.
00:37:28
Speaker
But it's just a lot easier for them to be mad about it and to be mad at us for daring to resist this subjugation.
00:37:35
Speaker
And so this is the kind of like hidden psychology that we're dealing with if we're in heterosexual relationships.
00:37:41
Speaker
And let me just add all of these men who are so mad about women's infringement.
00:37:45
Speaker
Okay, according to the World Economic Forum, we still won't reach full parity until 2154.
00:37:52
Speaker
They predict it will take at least 131 years at the trajectory we're currently on to actually reach full parity.
00:38:01
Speaker
So all these men were like, women now have all the power.
00:38:04
Speaker
Geez, I can't even talk to women in public anymore.
00:38:06
Speaker
I can't even ask her to do it.
00:38:07
Speaker
It's like, it's such blatant misdirection.
00:38:10
Speaker
It's such blatant straw man argumentation.
00:38:14
Speaker
And what they're really doing is they're avoiding looking at the facts on the ground and how inequitable it still is.
Fears of Losing Control
00:38:20
Speaker
But that's to their advantage.
00:38:21
Speaker
Again, the status quo has always been to their advantage.
00:38:24
Speaker
The system was built by them, for them, and they're still losing.
00:38:27
Speaker
Whose fault is that?
00:38:28
Speaker
Not ours.
00:38:30
Speaker
Not ours.
00:38:31
Speaker
And, you know, a lot of men also use this as like an excuse, right?
00:38:34
Speaker
Like now that they're seeing that women like there was a point where women actively needed them because of an artificial restriction of our ability to obtain resources and go to school.
00:38:44
Speaker
But now, since that's not the case, these men are still going like, well, you need us to protect you.
00:38:48
Speaker
And, you know, we need us to provide for you and you need us to protect you.
00:38:51
Speaker
Well, from what exactly?
00:38:53
Speaker
Because even if you're protecting me from other men, like, you know, a lot of women believe that, you know, marriage is like the antidote to their loneliness.
00:38:59
Speaker
But marriage isn't even the antidote to your safety.
00:39:01
Speaker
Like, look at the Gisele, like, look at the Pelicott case, the Gisele Pelicott case that's happening in France right now.
00:39:07
Speaker
Like, that case is so gruesome.
00:39:10
Speaker
And this brave woman has come out to make her case public just so that everyone knows the full extent of the crimes that have been committed against her.
00:39:16
Speaker
You know, I want to spare the listeners from the absolute brutality of it, because even for me, it's been very hard to, like, really read it.
00:39:23
Speaker
But I encourage all of you to go up and look at the Gisele Pelicott case in France right now.
00:39:28
Speaker
Because long story short, her husband, a married woman, yes, a married woman.
00:39:34
Speaker
And it's not just her, it's her daughter, too, even though I don't know the full extent of the crimes against her daughter.
00:39:38
Speaker
But like, basically, her husband drugged her and allowed a whole bunch of men to sexually assault her for 10 years.
00:39:45
Speaker
She wasn't even aware this was happening.
00:39:46
Speaker
She thought she had like a memory lapse or she was having amnesia.
00:39:50
Speaker
And she went to the doctors with this husband and this husband was aware the entire time that he was drugging her.
00:39:54
Speaker
But he let her go to these doctors and think that she had like massive gaps in her memory out of amnesia.
00:39:58
Speaker
But he was drugging her and allowing men to like basically assault her from like the dark web or whatever.
00:40:03
Speaker
Not simply allowing, in vaguely inviting people.
00:40:06
Speaker
Yeah, inviting, inviting.
00:40:08
Speaker
And like, I forgot how he was caught, but he was caught on something completely different.
00:40:12
Speaker
I think in 1991, he was arrested for soliciting a minor or something, and they caught him on something totally random.
00:40:19
Speaker
What it was was, if I could just interrupt briefly, there was a security guard at the local grocery store who caught him taking upskirt pictures of young girls.
00:40:28
Speaker
I mean, again, look at the audacity, right?
00:40:30
Speaker
Like, he got away with such a massive crime for so long.
00:40:33
Speaker
At the grocery store.
00:40:34
Speaker
Yep.
00:40:35
Speaker
And so he just thought he could get away with it because he's gotten away with it for so long.
00:40:39
Speaker
And also, I think like, you know, because they've had this case out in the open in the courts and stuff, the daughter recently found that there was a file of pictures of her in underwear that she didn't recognize.
00:40:50
Speaker
So she was worried that she was getting, you know, basically she was definitely drugged.
00:40:54
Speaker
But she yeah, but we don't know for a fact whether she was being assaulted.
00:40:57
Speaker
We just know whether the mom was.
00:40:58
Speaker
But again,
00:40:59
Speaker
This is what men want, you know, married.
00:41:00
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:41:01
Speaker
Like, oh, you know, she should have just picked better.
00:41:03
Speaker
Pick better how?
00:41:05
Speaker
How is, you know, like how in this situation, how you're drugged, like, how could you have picked better?
00:41:10
Speaker
You can't even stand up.
00:41:12
Speaker
Also, like, this is a human trafficker.
00:41:15
Speaker
And actually, this lady had talked about how she thought they had a very strong partnership and marriage.
00:41:19
Speaker
They had been together since they were 18.
00:41:22
Speaker
They were childhood sweethearts.
00:41:24
Speaker
And they
00:41:25
Speaker
This man was an utterly depraved, repugnant individual behind this mask of like family joviality.
00:41:32
Speaker
And was sexually trafficking his own wife and also potentially his own daughter.
00:41:37
Speaker
There is no way you can protect yourself from that.
00:41:39
Speaker
You can't know.
00:41:40
Speaker
And even beyond this case, right, there's been a lot of cases of child trafficking and, you know, these situations where children have been sexually assaulted by strangers and stuff where they found that the parent, especially the father, was involved in pimping out their kid.
00:41:53
Speaker
So this isn't even uncommon.
00:41:55
Speaker
There's a lot of men out there on the dark web.
00:41:57
Speaker
Like I was reading this article with this actress.
00:42:00
Speaker
She was one of the actresses on Riverdale.
00:42:01
Speaker
She played the mom of Veronica.
00:42:03
Speaker
And she used her voice acting talents to pretend to be children to lure men in for like the FBI and stuff to like basically catch like doing this kind of crazy shit.
00:42:13
Speaker
And they found that a lot of the times like the person who was pimping out the kid was usually the dad.
00:42:18
Speaker
So yeah, what are we supposed to put like, you know, this is why we say that when you marry someone, you know, you're not just marrying them for you, you're marrying them for the family.
00:42:25
Speaker
And so you have to think whether this person is capable of being a good father, and he's willing to protect
00:42:30
Speaker
your children, you know, and I think a healthy man has a very natural and average distrust of other men around him because he knows exactly what other men are capable of.
Men's Distrust and Systemic Issues
00:42:40
Speaker
I don't believe even men believe that it's not all men.
00:42:42
Speaker
Because if they believe that was true, they would leave their daughters and their kids with like other men all the time.
00:42:48
Speaker
The first person on their call list to like babysit would be their brothers, not their sisters and like the women in their family, you know, I don't even think men believe in their bullshit of not all men.
00:42:57
Speaker
Absolutely not.
00:42:59
Speaker
Because apparently this man, I think his name is Dominique Pellicot.
00:43:04
Speaker
He would go to like, it was either online and sort of these, you know, somewhat shady websites that have now been shut down.
00:43:11
Speaker
But he would also go to like the porn shop and, you know, the local bars.
00:43:16
Speaker
He would talk to his neighbors at the barbecues and he'd be like, oh man, you know, like my wife and I, we like to do this.
00:43:22
Speaker
Would you be interested in coming over?
00:43:23
Speaker
But here are all these rules.
00:43:24
Speaker
You can't wear cologne.
00:43:26
Speaker
You have to warm up your hands.
00:43:27
Speaker
If she moves at all, you have to stop.
00:43:30
Speaker
This was one of his rules.
00:43:31
Speaker
And these men were like, oh, yeah, absolutely.
00:43:33
Speaker
And Dominique, the husband, actually estimated that it was like three out of the ten of the ten men that he would invite, three out of ten would demur.
00:43:43
Speaker
Three out of ten would say, I'm not interested.
00:43:45
Speaker
But did any of them go to the police and bring this up?
00:43:49
Speaker
So this is why I cannot with not all men, even if they're not actively harming us, they're sure as hell not doing much to avoid harming us or to put protections into a place to protect us.
00:44:03
Speaker
Right.
00:44:04
Speaker
That's the thing.
00:44:04
Speaker
And I really want to drive that home.
00:44:06
Speaker
Like hearing about this case, it was something like over 70 men in this town of 6,000 people.
00:44:13
Speaker
They were firefighters.
00:44:14
Speaker
They were cops.
00:44:15
Speaker
They were school teachers.
00:44:17
Speaker
I think one was actually like a city councilman.
00:44:20
Speaker
We cannot underestimate how much sexual depravity is going on under the cover of familial righteousness.
00:44:29
Speaker
And some of these men knew her and like she bumped into them and met them many, many times when she was conscious.
00:44:36
Speaker
And like, again, they were able to look at her face, know that they had done this depraved shit and just go back to their lives like nothing fucking happened.
00:44:42
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:44:43
Speaker
I think it was Andrea Dworkin who said this, right?
00:44:45
Speaker
She was like, I think women understand actually how much men hate them.
00:44:48
Speaker
They just don't want to fully let that sink in because it's too painful.
00:44:52
Speaker
It's too painful to acknowledge exactly how much men hate us.
00:44:55
Speaker
But I mean, we need to grapple with this reality in like a very Saturnian get up and like understand the reality sort of way of it.
00:45:03
Speaker
Because I think too many of us get caught up on like the Disney fantasy of like, but there are some good sweet ones out there.
00:45:09
Speaker
Let me tell you, like as a person who's only probably met like a couple of them, those guys are ruthless too.
00:45:15
Speaker
Those guys are incredibly ruthless about men in general, like fiercely protective of the women because they do not underestimate how depraved other men are, even for a second.
00:45:24
Speaker
Women, we must remove these blinders.
00:45:26
Speaker
And honestly, Diana, this is why we were talking about ruthless in the last episode.
00:45:29
Speaker
And I was giving an example of how FDS finally got me to the point of ruthlessness to be able to cut off basically, you know, the Mein Kampf light brother of mine.
00:45:39
Speaker
And this is partly why I had such a hard time getting to the point of cutting him off.
00:45:44
Speaker
With all of the evidence before my eyes, I couldn't believe that he hated me.
00:45:49
Speaker
It was very difficult for me to understand that he could even hate me.
00:45:53
Speaker
It was even more difficult for me to accept that he in fact did.
00:45:57
Speaker
This is again, this is why I feel for us all.
00:46:00
Speaker
ladies and listeners, like, it is so hard to actually believe the evidence right in front of our eyes.
00:46:05
Speaker
We're told like, Oh, you know, his coldness is just him concealing his true feelings or like, he's distant because, you know, he's struggling to make sure that he's, you know, making the right decisions.
00:46:16
Speaker
And he doesn't want to burden you with that.
00:46:17
Speaker
I mean, we have every kind of excuse under the sun for why they mistreat us.
00:46:21
Speaker
Why don't we have the same kind of excuses for why he does treat us well?
00:46:26
Speaker
Like, this is what I want.
00:46:26
Speaker
I want us to spin this on its head and only allow and accept positive affirmations and gestures from them.
00:46:35
Speaker
Not words, actions.
00:46:37
Speaker
Like Diana said, I love that story that was so beautiful, Diana, of like your father buying her gold bars for the bank so nobody else could touch them or steal from them, right?
00:46:47
Speaker
Because obviously if she'd had gold earrings, those could have easily been pilfered by that brother-in-law at any point.
00:46:52
Speaker
And she would have had no recourse.
00:46:54
Speaker
So these are gestures and actions that
00:46:56
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, he also went out of the way to teach her how to like sign checks and how to open a bank account.
00:47:01
Speaker
And like a lot of these things that, you know, her father would have probably taught her, her mom was, you know, uneducated, never went to school.
00:47:07
Speaker
So she wouldn't have had the ability to do these things for herself if my dad hadn't taught her because she didn't go to school herself.
00:47:13
Speaker
She didn't graduate high school.
00:47:14
Speaker
And so she was one of those women, like many women in South Asia, who had to work in the informal labor sector, cleaning people's houses and stuff, because she just didn't have an education or a job.
00:47:24
Speaker
This was her job.
00:47:26
Speaker
So that's what I'm saying, that men who deeply care about women are able to acknowledge that there is a vast ocean of
00:47:32
Speaker
of a gap between our experiences and like the kinds of privileges that we have.
00:47:37
Speaker
And they will go out of their way to shorten that gap.
00:47:40
Speaker
And I don't see a lot of men in our age group anymore who are doing that actively because a lot of them are exceedingly naive about what the state of the world actually is.
00:47:49
Speaker
So instead of participating in men's delude fantasies, you know, leave, you know, South Asia aside for even one second and focusing on like, you know, countries like Afghanistan, right?
00:47:57
Speaker
Or even the US right now that are thinking about rolling back no-fault divorce.
00:48:01
Speaker
They think they have already started like removing women's rights to abortion and stuff.
00:48:05
Speaker
You know, going back to like global statistics for one second, right?
00:48:08
Speaker
Afghanistan's population right now is 14.2 million women and 15 million men.
00:48:13
Speaker
So that means that women make up roughly half of the population of Afghanistan, right?
00:48:18
Speaker
Since like the US left and the army left, this is what's happened.
00:48:22
Speaker
The Taliban have banned women from attending university and working in NGOs.
00:48:26
Speaker
They've made all of them quit their jobs.
00:48:27
Speaker
They've restricted their ability to move around the city, including going to parks.
00:48:31
Speaker
They're no longer allowed to sing in public or dance.
00:48:35
Speaker
They have enforced a restrictive dress code and they require them to wear a burqa or like a niqab, like a fully covered up veil.
00:48:41
Speaker
They've restricted access to medical care.
00:48:44
Speaker
They've dismantled any legal mechanisms available to women so they can't really go to the law.
00:48:49
Speaker
They've neglected social services and other basic state functions.
00:48:53
Speaker
And they have basically also prevented any foreign journalists from being able to question them on any of these policies.
00:49:00
Speaker
The United Nations has now called what the Taliban is doing to women as gender apartheid.
00:49:05
Speaker
So, yeah, don't think that this is something that can't happen because right now we are looking at a country that has completely erased.
00:49:13
Speaker
Like, name one country in the world that has restricted men's rights in this manner.
00:49:18
Speaker
You're not going to find it.
00:49:20
Speaker
You know?
00:49:21
Speaker
Men are being extremely disingenuous when they try to say that men are the ones who are oppressed in the Western world because they can't beat their wives and then not have to divorce them.
00:49:30
Speaker
And like, you know, women can go and get these jobs that I don't want them to get.
00:49:33
Speaker
And how dare she wear little lemons at like a Starbucks and whatever stupid thing that they think is like...
00:49:39
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:49:40
Speaker
Like, I just saw a man raging about wearing a line leggings at like, I don't know, Whole Foods or something.
00:49:45
Speaker
And I'm like, just fucking buy your apple and go home.
00:49:48
Speaker
Like, why?
00:49:49
Speaker
OK, boomer.
00:49:50
Speaker
Actually, the question you just asked reminded me of when Kamala Harris now vice president and presidential candidate Kamala Harris was doing a I think it was a Senate hearing on confirming Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court justice.
00:50:06
Speaker
And she said to him, can you name any law in any state or anywhere in the United States that polices men's bodies and ability to receive medical care for them?
00:50:19
Speaker
Obviously, he was speechless because no, no such law has ever fucking existed or ever will.
00:50:25
Speaker
At least not in our lifetime, probably, if we're looking at gender parity predictions.
00:50:29
Speaker
Also, he was like stuttering his way through that.
00:50:31
Speaker
He was like, well, I...
00:50:37
Speaker
So one of the stats I wanted to bring up, so talking about sexual and reproductive rights in particular, because this is where women are especially hit hard.
00:50:46
Speaker
There are various quotes from the World Health Organization, the UN Women's Delegations, Center for Reproductive Rights.
00:50:54
Speaker
These are all quotes and data from them that I'm going to read up to us now.
00:50:57
Speaker
Okay, Diana?
00:50:58
Speaker
They're on violence and sexual and reproductive health and rights under sexual and reproductive health and rights.
00:51:05
Speaker
800 women die every day worldwide from complications related to pregnancy and childbirth.
00:51:11
Speaker
In other words, almost a thousand women die every fucking day just from the fact that we can get pregnant and do get pregnant.
00:51:20
Speaker
40% of women worldwide live in countries where abortion laws are restrictive.
00:51:26
Speaker
270 million women worldwide have no access to modern contraception.
00:51:33
Speaker
Let me repeat that.
00:51:34
Speaker
270 million, almost 300 million women worldwide, absolutely no access to modern contraception.
00:51:42
Speaker
And more than 12,000 girls are at risk of female genital mutilation every day in 2024.
00:51:49
Speaker
12,000 girls every day are under this guillotine of female genital mutilation before they even reach reproductive maturity.
00:51:58
Speaker
The two other quotes that I want to give on data are one in three women globally have already suffered physical and or sexual intimate partner violence, non-partner sexual violence, or both.
00:52:11
Speaker
And every 11 minutes, a woman or a girl is killed by a member of her own family.
Domestic Risks and Women's Independence
00:52:17
Speaker
Stranger danger isn't real.
00:52:19
Speaker
The real danger to you is whatever man lives under your roof.
00:52:24
Speaker
To quote Whoopi Goldberg, I don't want no man living in my house.
00:52:31
Speaker
As I've gotten older, I'm like, I'm really starting to understand that.
00:52:34
Speaker
Like he can live next door.
00:52:36
Speaker
Again, every 10 minutes, every 11 minutes, you're killed by a member of your own family.
00:52:41
Speaker
That can be a brother, a father, a cousin, a husband, your own son.
00:52:47
Speaker
There is no greater danger to a woman than the man who is under her own roof.
00:52:52
Speaker
So when we're talking about being ruthless, this is why.
00:52:55
Speaker
These statistics are why.
00:52:57
Speaker
We're not making this up.
00:52:59
Speaker
We're not being misandrist.
00:53:00
Speaker
We're not being hysterical.
00:53:02
Speaker
We are not exaggerating.
00:53:04
Speaker
If anything, we're under-exaggerating how dire it truly is worldwide.
00:53:10
Speaker
Also, I just need people to understand that men will call you misandrous if you just make a point.
00:53:14
Speaker
Okay, you can just speak facts and they'll just be like, you misandrous.
00:53:18
Speaker
And it's like, you know what?
00:53:19
Speaker
If me calling out men's bullshit and reacting to their hatred of us, their violence of us is misandry, then man, I'm the biggest man hater there is.
00:53:28
Speaker
Like, I'm fine with that.
00:53:30
Speaker
I would rather be a man hater than a man's doormat.
00:53:34
Speaker
I'm sorry.
00:53:34
Speaker
Okay.
00:53:36
Speaker
I am no man's piece.
00:53:38
Speaker
I would rather be the source of his destruction than the source of his, you know, his ire.
00:53:44
Speaker
You're eminently quotable, Diana.
00:53:46
Speaker
Oh my gosh.
00:53:46
Speaker
I still think I want to make a t-shirt that says I support women's rights and women's wrongs.
00:53:50
Speaker
I want that on a t-shirt.
00:53:52
Speaker
I might have to make that.
00:53:53
Speaker
Oh,
00:53:54
Speaker
Well, we need to make common sense common again.
00:54:04
Speaker
I'm telling you, you know, like I said, aim to be a problem once a month, you know, like I would rather be the source of his cortisol rising than the source of my own cortisol rising.
00:54:12
Speaker
Let me just put that out there, you know.
00:54:14
Speaker
I am no man's doormat.
00:54:16
Speaker
Like, I don't want to lose my dignity.
00:54:17
Speaker
I'd rather lose my pride than lose my dignity.
00:54:19
Speaker
Like, I don't care about winning an award for being the most man-loving woman in the world.
00:54:23
Speaker
Like, I honestly think that's a useless award.
00:54:25
Speaker
And if it paid me any money, I'd probably suck up to them more.
00:54:28
Speaker
But it doesn't.
00:54:30
Speaker
You know, it doesn't pay me money.
00:54:31
Speaker
Look at Pearl.
00:54:32
Speaker
Look at Pearl as a perfect example of this.
00:54:34
Speaker
Like you will never meet a more self-hating woman who is so obviously catering to men.
00:54:39
Speaker
And what does she get paid?
00:54:40
Speaker
Probably nothing.
00:54:41
Speaker
Okay.
00:54:41
Speaker
Even like the biggest handmaiden of men is unfairly compensated.
00:54:45
Speaker
Like one thing I love about men is you will always be punished for your loyalty to them.
00:54:49
Speaker
They're so reliable that way.
00:54:51
Speaker
Like that's why I could never hate them because without them, I don't have a platform.
00:54:54
Speaker
And like, there's no reason for me to be a feminist.
00:54:56
Speaker
Like I love y'all.
00:54:58
Speaker
I have to say, I just love you all so much.
00:55:00
Speaker
I love how useful you make us.
00:55:02
Speaker
Yeah, you really do so much for me.
00:55:06
Speaker
Thank you.
00:55:07
Speaker
Look, if you are committing a crime and you hurt people and I'm calling out this crime and saying, hey, you've hurt people.
00:55:13
Speaker
And then you're like, oh, you just hate men.
00:55:15
Speaker
Why are you pointing out that I committed a crime?
00:55:16
Speaker
Why don't you point out that women also commit a crime?
00:55:18
Speaker
Well, look, if when women start murdering and killing men at the same scale that they're murdering and killing us, like I will talk about that as an issue.
00:55:25
Speaker
Unfortunately, they're not like we're not that ambitious.
00:55:28
Speaker
It really sucks.
00:55:28
Speaker
But I really wish women were more ambitious when it came to crime and villainy.
00:55:32
Speaker
We're honestly too honorable and noble for our own goods.
00:55:35
Speaker
Like I agree with men.
00:55:36
Speaker
I think we could stand to commit more crime.
00:55:38
Speaker
You know, we just don't.
00:55:39
Speaker
We lack that ambition.
00:55:40
Speaker
Where's that gender parity, ladies?
00:55:43
Speaker
We need to even the scales like we really lack the ambition to be as villainous as men are.
00:55:47
Speaker
You know, so going back to the biblical thing, right, the first act that a woman ever did with Adam was rebellion.
00:55:53
Speaker
So it's your nature to be rebellious.
00:55:55
Speaker
Just remember that it's like you are honoring your code being born as an equal.
00:55:59
Speaker
You didn't come out of no man's rib.
00:56:01
Speaker
I mean, if anything, a man came out of you.
00:56:03
Speaker
So, you know, if going by that rationale, you are the whole source of his entire purpose for being.
00:56:08
Speaker
This is why male separatism doesn't work.
00:56:11
Speaker
Women separate and we lead perfectly happy, healthy lives in companionship with each other and enjoy and like happiness with each other.
00:56:17
Speaker
It's just like the Garden of Eden and us running around puppies and kittens and shit.
00:56:21
Speaker
Create a male separatist society.
00:56:23
Speaker
And like men are basically lining up to create a hierarchy of like who are the eunuchs and like the young children to fuck.
00:56:29
Speaker
Like it's a disaster.
00:56:30
Speaker
Even men know.
00:56:31
Speaker
Yeah, they do it.
00:56:32
Speaker
And they end up being cults and Charles Manson households.
00:56:37
Speaker
Exactly.
00:56:37
Speaker
Like, you know, I read this book that was published 100 years ago.
00:56:41
Speaker
It was called Her Land.
00:56:42
Speaker
And it's about a female utopia.
00:56:43
Speaker
It was written by a female author way back when.
00:56:45
Speaker
Charlotte Perkins Gilman.
00:56:48
Speaker
Exactly.
00:56:49
Speaker
And it's so interesting how both the male and female idea of utopia is a society completely run by women.
00:56:55
Speaker
And both the male and female idea of dystopia is a society completely run by men.
00:57:00
Speaker
So men agree with us.
00:57:02
Speaker
Well, ladies, guess what?
00:57:03
Speaker
Guess what we're living in?
00:57:05
Speaker
Yes.
00:57:06
Speaker
Charlotte Perkins Gilman.
00:57:07
Speaker
She also wrote one of the most amazing, or was that Kate Chopin who wrote the most amazing short story, The Yellow Wallpaper?
00:57:13
Speaker
I think it was Kate Chopin who wrote The Yellow Wallpaper.
00:57:16
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:57:17
Speaker
Because Her Land was a trilogy, right?
00:57:18
Speaker
There were two other books along with it.
00:57:20
Speaker
Yes.
00:57:22
Speaker
That's what I really started to sort of be awakened was when I was doing an undergrad major in English literature.
00:57:27
Speaker
Of course, it was Men, Men, Men.
00:57:29
Speaker
And then I took, I think it was like 20th century literature.
00:57:33
Speaker
And that's where women writers started to become
Gender Representation in Literature
00:57:35
Speaker
more prolific.
00:57:35
Speaker
So you get the Kate Chopin, Charlotte Perkins Gilmore, Virginia Woolf, Edith Wharton,
00:57:42
Speaker
Even getting into the poets like Anne Sexton or Sylvia Plath.
00:57:45
Speaker
That's where I really started to read about women's experiences in a way that I had never read before.
00:57:49
Speaker
Well, of course, because women are not portrayed like that in novels written by men, right?
00:57:54
Speaker
They simply don't have that sort of empathy to understand that we're just really humans with different genitals.
00:57:59
Speaker
The interior landscape is pretty similar.
00:58:01
Speaker
So that was when I really started to understand, like, why have I not been reading any women in these four years of reading literature?
00:58:09
Speaker
Like, and obviously, we were only doing the quote unquote, great Western classics.
00:58:12
Speaker
But like, how is it that we've left out half of the gender in reading literature?
00:58:17
Speaker
And that's where I started to see like, oh, this is the disparity is so huge.
00:58:21
Speaker
And it only gets deeper the more you go into it.
00:58:24
Speaker
especially women's ideas of utopia, come back to the same point that in a society where we aren't subjugated to male violence, a lot of us do collaborate and form unions with each other and form a more equitable society with each other.
00:58:36
Speaker
That was the whole basis of Barbie land, right?
00:58:39
Speaker
Barbie land is this like fanciful world where all of the women have power and the men, like that's why so many people were able to relate to Ken because for once, Ken is actually the woman sub end.
00:58:50
Speaker
Right.
00:58:50
Speaker
Like Ken's position in Barbie land is what women's position is in patriarchy.
00:58:55
Speaker
And like men love to see themselves as total victims.
00:58:57
Speaker
So they're like, oh, my God, if it was the other way around, then men would just be sitting there doing nothing, even though like in Barbie land, like Ken doesn't suffer any violence at the hands of Barbie.
00:59:06
Speaker
He just has to be a himbo.
00:59:08
Speaker
Like his only job is being hot and he can't even do that right.
00:59:11
Speaker
You know, so again, you know, men lack imagination in terms of like what is possible.
00:59:17
Speaker
But I think that we need to honor and we say this on almost every podcast now.
00:59:20
Speaker
We need to honor our natural instincts to collaborate with each other.
00:59:24
Speaker
And obviously apply the same level of vetting with women as well, because just because somebody is a woman doesn't automatically mean that they're trustworthy.
00:59:31
Speaker
But should we wrap into our final point now?
00:59:33
Speaker
Because I think we need to start wrapping us up.
00:59:36
Speaker
We do.
00:59:36
Speaker
And actually, listeners, what we've come across as we wrap up this one hour is that we still have half of our data to come.
00:59:43
Speaker
So I guess this is going to be part A, Diana.
00:59:46
Speaker
This is part one.
00:59:47
Speaker
This is part one.
00:59:48
Speaker
This is part one.
00:59:50
Speaker
Yeah, because we have a lot.
00:59:51
Speaker
We still have a lot.
00:59:52
Speaker
We still got a lot of statistics to cover.
00:59:54
Speaker
So this will be our part one.
00:59:56
Speaker
We're going to turn it part two over to you in the following week.
00:59:59
Speaker
And again, we always welcome people writing in, pointing us in directions that we might not have seen.
01:00:05
Speaker
asking questions that we might have thought to ask.
01:00:08
Speaker
And again, we just want to hear from you.
01:00:10
Speaker
We want to hear how we're doing.
01:00:12
Speaker
We want to hear what you're thinking about the new tenor of the track that we're taking.
01:00:16
Speaker
And again, we just welcome any and all feedback from those who are participating and listening.
01:00:21
Speaker
And these are going to be like ongoing discussions as well.
01:00:23
Speaker
Like, you know, as we're discussing labor, literacy and education, you know, we're also going to be getting into why women need to occupy higher positions.
01:00:30
Speaker
And I think that this could probably take up a whole other episode because at the end of the day, we also want to do an episode on
01:00:37
Speaker
what is and what can we do about it, right?
01:00:39
Speaker
And so we need to look at like our data is going to support what is the state of the world.
01:00:43
Speaker
We're going to look at different countries and different places and actually talk about the data that we're seeing over there.
01:00:48
Speaker
And how can we cross culturally globally, because now we're in a position where, you know, we're on a podcast with two people from like the Northern Hemisphere and the Southern Hemisphere from the East and the West.
01:00:58
Speaker
Like this is an East meets West podcast right now.
01:01:01
Speaker
And, you know, it's such a unique thing that we're able to share our perspectives from our parts of the globe.
01:01:06
Speaker
Because for once in history, we're actually able to do that.
01:01:09
Speaker
And we're able to see that we have a lot more in common than we don't.
01:01:13
Speaker
So we have the ability to help each other out.
01:01:15
Speaker
And we should be taking those steps to do that in whatever way we can.
01:01:19
Speaker
That's why I tell you, whenever you feel like this urge, I've said this in a past podcast as well, whenever you feel this urge to help a man and save him from himself, take all that energy and put it into a woman instead.
01:01:28
Speaker
And trust me, you will feel like you did something worthwhile with it.
01:01:31
Speaker
Every time I've been like, oh my God, I need to rescue this man.
01:01:33
Speaker
If only he knew about our Lord and Savior feminism, he would change.
01:01:37
Speaker
And it's like, no, instead, I'm going to invest that time in, you know, helping a girl in my local community who can't go to school, go to school, buying her textbooks, you know, reading to children and teaching them how to be literate, encouraging their, you know, love for book learning, you know, dissecting media and watching films and stuff with children.
01:01:56
Speaker
And like, you know, using my talents, using my gifts to inspire a new generation.
01:02:01
Speaker
And you need to think about your unique gifts, whether, you know, that's crochet or cooking or sports or whatever you can do to advance the cause of women's liberation
Loneliness and Community Fulfillment
01:02:10
Speaker
tomorrow.
01:02:10
Speaker
You need to look at your skills and your gifts and continue to help the people around you.
01:02:15
Speaker
I always believe in this idea of like, you know, think global, act local.
01:02:18
Speaker
I think it makes a huge difference.
01:02:20
Speaker
So, you know, when we're starting with our communities, people always ask like, it's so much harder to make friends as you grow older.
01:02:25
Speaker
You've said this as well, like, oh, I felt lonely.
01:02:27
Speaker
I think that loneliness is a human condition that we all feel.
01:02:31
Speaker
When we come to grips with the fact that it's the most natural thing to experience and that it's a phase, just as, you know, any other emotion is a phase.
01:02:38
Speaker
It comes and goes in waves.
01:02:40
Speaker
You can then focus onto something that will allow you to form those kinds of community.
01:02:45
Speaker
Because even when I've had that community and those kinds of friendships, there have still been moments in my life when I feel lonely.
01:02:50
Speaker
And I think it's because part of the human condition is feeling lonely.
01:02:53
Speaker
That's why a lot of us feel like we need to pair off because we want that one-on-one individualized attention.
01:02:58
Speaker
And it's very hard to get that when you're not in an active partnership.
01:03:01
Speaker
Let me tell you a lot of those women who are in those one-on-one partnerships, they wish they don't have a companion.
01:03:06
Speaker
Like my grandmother used to say, you know, a lot of women aspired, like I've got all my quotes on my grandma, but she was like, idiots aspire to be wives, sensible women aspire to be widows, and the lucky ones aspire to be single.
01:03:17
Speaker
Right.
01:03:19
Speaker
Holy shit.
01:03:20
Speaker
That's so fucking good.
01:03:22
Speaker
Oh my God.
01:03:22
Speaker
That's brilliant.
01:03:23
Speaker
I love that you have retained that.
01:03:24
Speaker
And this is why we need the wisdom of our elders.
01:03:26
Speaker
Okay.
01:03:27
Speaker
That's also what we're trying to do as we conduct this new turn of FDS and the podcast.
01:03:32
Speaker
It's like, there's so many things I've heard from my older lady friends, from my grandma, from my
Conclusion: Amplifying Women's Voices
01:03:36
Speaker
mom.
01:03:36
Speaker
And we discard their advice at our own peril, right?
01:03:39
Speaker
Because evolutionary speaking, this is wisdom and knowledge that has been distilled over millennia.
01:03:44
Speaker
Okay.
01:03:44
Speaker
Okay.
01:03:46
Speaker
So as Diana said, this is part one.
01:03:48
Speaker
Part two is coming next week.
01:03:50
Speaker
Thank you as always for joining us.
01:03:52
Speaker
I'm loving this journey of ours, Diana.
01:03:54
Speaker
East meets West.
01:03:55
Speaker
Could it get any better?
01:03:56
Speaker
Yep, it couldn't.
01:03:57
Speaker
It really couldn't, actually.
01:03:58
Speaker
No, it really couldn't.
01:04:00
Speaker
Unless we get a Martian on board someday.
01:04:02
Speaker
We have to learn about the Scroats in the galaxy.
01:04:08
Speaker
And with that, we'll wrap it up with our inimitable phrase, Scroats.
01:04:12
Speaker
Die mad.
01:04:12
Speaker
Die mad.