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Savage Worlds - The Phony Express 3.3: Rage Will Bring You Suffering
58 Plays7 months ago
The Phony Express seeks to track down Tommy Felix and his gang when they find out they rode in to town with "Ryn" to capture their friends. Cutter makes his return to Cruelty Alley, Maverick is determined to exact Justice, and Ryn makes an unexpected move to save her friends.
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Transcript
Introduction and Recap
00:00:25
Speaker
All right, here we are. We've done it. We're here. Good morning. Good afternoon and good evening, ladies, gentlemen, non binary folks of universes known and unknown. This is role players and welcome back to Phoney Express. Episode three in this big old hodgepodge of just story we have all over the fucking place for this crew of interesting people. um So we've got Justin and and Cass and Adrienne playing three characters that you know by the names of Boompapa, ProtexGull and Tealip Corpsebud, right? Oh, it's Sunday!
00:00:57
Speaker
Justin's playing Tealip today. yeah I'm very big and I like boom. I like boom. All right. ah So last time on role players. Oh, man, all sorts of stuff happened. ah Cutter and Ren went to the mountain to try to save the people of Citrus Canyon mine.
Citrus Canyon Mine Tragedy
00:01:19
Speaker
and And it even brought like some dynamite sticks or something. Oh, man. And they did like a half one blew it up and then they went in there and everybody was dead. They died. Ah shit. They didn't make it. And Maverick made his way back to be like, hey, they killed all of our friends in Pickle Dilly Farm, or whatever it was called, Piccadilly Woods. And then like he was he he was seeing random shadows and stuff. I was like, goes oh man, what's going on? And then we went and chased after a shadow and he came back and there was a note left on his horse that said, you don't deserve her. And it was a picture of a birdie on there. And then Rim was like, oh, does that note mean me? And he goes, look at the fucking picture, Rim. It's a bird. ah you You silly goose.
00:01:54
Speaker
um And she goes, me, a goose? I'm a bird. He goes, ah yes, that's not what I meant. And then so after yeah but ah say how do they resolve that, they go back to Doo Dad as they see ah Sheriff Jeff and all the company that he brought is working there to help remove some of the rubble from the front to investigate any of the voices that are alive up front. And so they say, oh, man, go back there. And they go, oh, man, we're going
Sheriff Jeff's Investigation
00:02:19
Speaker
to do that. And so they go back to Doo Dad And then, oh, man, matching carpet is on fire. Oh, geez. Oh, no. Oh, no. Her stash is missing. Ah, fuck. And and she sprints out towards Punkenstein's house.
00:02:31
Speaker
Um, yeah, the cutter and Maverick are like, Oh man, we got to wrap our ourselves in dirty rugs or something to get in their dirty wet rugs. And then it's where they do that. Rin comes out on our toast down and says, I've got a buggies by. And they're like, Oh man, what the fuck? And they try to see if they can help put the fire up, but they can't. And then, uh, uh, uh, uh, cutter goes inside and goes, you know, what the fuck's going on? And chef, he's like, Oh, Ren did this shit. And he's like, Oh man, that's crazy. He would never do that. Um, and then he comes out and says, Hey, Matt, let's go talk to that. Mutt and Shop Joseph about what's going on here. And Maverick says, all right, fine. I'm just sad. um And then we cut back back to the Punky's mansion. And Rin's like, oh, where's that pumpkin sign out? What's going on here? Is he OK? And he's missing. And then she feels the presence of someone down the driveway.
Rin's Chase and Frustration
00:03:18
Speaker
And she looks down and, oh, no, there's someone that has her face wearing a Victorian dress. And she goes, robot house. And then that was how the episode ended.
00:03:27
Speaker
Well, I do, guys. I do it. Applause. ah Yes, wonderful. I'm pretty sure. Duncan Stein!
00:03:37
Speaker
Home run! Okay, so good job, Adrian. That is a home run. Do you have baseball in Germany? Yeah, I've actually been to baseball games. Whoa! I actually have baseballs from most baseball games. What is baseball from, or and from Germany called? ah Baseball. Whoa, I can understand German. Yeah. Can you even say baseball in Korean? It's yagoo. Yagoo? I like eating yagoo beef. I love yagoo. All right. So you guys, let's go to Ren. Ren, you see a lady, li probably like maybe about
00:04:21
Speaker
80 yards down the driveway looking at you from the up on the hill down on the hill and she's just kind of got like a blank face and she's just standing there and you yell out punkenstein's name and he does not answer you.
Return to Punkenstein's Mansion
00:04:35
Speaker
What do you do? She wasn't yelling to get his attention. She's yelling at him in frustration. Right. And then she's going to take off running after this woman. you got You're going to you're going to chase after her. Oh, man. Oh, shit. Yep. OK. Well.
00:04:55
Speaker
um You do that. Get back here and give me back my daddy. My daddy. I said it already.
Rin and the Cryptic Crow
00:05:06
Speaker
um All right. You know what? Roll an athletics roll as she begins sprinting down the hill through the woods away from you. We're going to have a little ah athletics contest. Let's see how that rolls. Agility or athhotic athletics? Athletics plays. OK. Fine, I guess. All right, you rolled a four. She rolls a seven. um So you guys you're sprinting up, you're keeping you're keeping up enough with where you can still kind of keep track of her, but she's still keeping a decent pace ahead of you as she starts darting through the woods. She's like kicking off of trees and stuff, doing like very sick, like fucking ninja rolls to the trees, um trying to lose you. What do you do? um I feel like she would end up running out of water really quickly since she's still going berserk.
00:05:56
Speaker
Mm hmm. are raging. Yes. And so she eventually begins to run out of steam and slowly walks back to Punkenstein to look for any clues as to where he might have been taken. So you let her dart off into the woods as you make your way back.
Rin's Resolve and Maverick's Doubts
00:06:16
Speaker
Yeah. OK. So this, this, this twin of yours, um, 20 poo, as it were, uh, sprints off into the woods. You make your way back. You're getting a little low on, on, uh, your liquid fuel, um, your H two Oh no. Uh, and so you're going to start looking around for like clues about punky. Yeah. After she ah fills her tank with water. Sure. You, you find some sort of barrel water hose system that he had set up.
00:06:48
Speaker
um and lubricate your innards again. um So why don't we do a little notice roll? See if you start looking around to try to piece together her some clues to figure out what happened to your friend, Punkenstein. Oh, I know. Fail. Oh, no. um No. no. She's exhausted from all the raging. Yeah. So like you're still your water hasn't like cycled its way through your system yet. It's still kind of making its way through you. And as you start looking around, you do notice again, like I mentioned originally, like.
00:07:25
Speaker
ah There's some some things knocked over maybe a table that's kind of like shifted um You know like some of his inventions kind of knocked over some of his animal friends are missing um But you haven't seen anything that would indicate as to where he might go um ah One of his chairs that he likes to kind of roll around and float around in is there it's kind of like Noctiskew But he has several of those so he could be in any of one of them What else would you like to do?
Maverick's Encounter with the Child
00:07:56
Speaker
Uh, she's going to go look into that closet that she went into previously to see if there's any weapons that she could possibly find that would help her.
00:08:13
Speaker
You mean that one that you got that weird dart plunger gun? in Yeah. To to catch her the, to try to get the train to stop. Uh, you see the one little crow kind of flies out from the ceiling. Uh, I don't remember what his name was. He says, hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. I need some weapons. Why do you need weapons? Hi. What do you why what are you doing? Why? Why? Because Punky's been stolen and I got to go find him and I'm pretty sure whoever took him is more dangerous than I am. So I need, I need some help.
00:08:53
Speaker
oh Boy, you're are not gonna be happy with me high because somebody else already beat you in there high high No, oh, yeah, I saw the guy let her in and everything What guy the one with the mustache the one that gave me this awesome personality height Hi, what do you mean he let her in I He just let her in. He just said, hey, and I think he called her Ryan. Ryan. That's it. rin Yes. Hi. And she. said listen just sit Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, listen. Do you know if there is like other ones that look like me around here? Oh, well, yes, not around here, though. Not anymore. They all left.
00:09:48
Speaker
What do you mean they all left? They left. They had a little parade. They went away. All of them? And you know what I said to them? Yeah, when they left, they said, bye bird. I said, hi. And they didn't say hi back and I was very rude. That is very rude of them. How many of these would you say left in a parade? I don't know human numbers. Would you say a lot then? More than me. I tell ya there was if you, if you and I are together, there would they would take up more space than you and me would. Great. Fucking Punkenstein. Of course, of course, he kept all of his previous models with me. That jackass.
00:10:40
Speaker
Yeah, I guess. What's a model? a Uh, don't worry about it anyways. Um, I'm going to go into town and see if I can find my friends. Do you want to come with me? Uh, I mean, I feel like the bad stuff happens out there. So I don't know if I, you know, what if
Cutter's Visit to Mutton Chop Joe
00:11:07
Speaker
they come back and need to get in the closet again? You know, I need to say hi to whoever comes in already then.
00:11:15
Speaker
What do you have? What if they want to? But what if they want to put all the doomsday devices back in the closet? I need to be here to help me. Hold on. Wait. Hold on. What? What doomsday devices? Punkenstein, what have you been up to? What doomsday devices? All the ones he puts in almost everything everywhere. You know, he has like a whole closet of them behind the closet that has all the cool guns in it. Oh, fuck me. Punkenstein. He said, one is for just in case, one is for just in case that one doesn't work, and another one is if he just gets really bored of a town and wants to see if he can send it, and I quote, to another dimension. I don't know what that means, though. God damn it. All right, well, I guess, have fun. I will be back, I guess, hopefully, if I can find him. I hope you can find your sisters. All of you are so pretty.
00:12:09
Speaker
Sisters, yeah, totally. Uh, bye. Hi. Okay. Hi. Bye. She takes off running back to do dad. Okay. You take off running back to do dad. And while you're doing that cutter and a maverick, you are back in the town of do dad. You were just talking about potentially going to talk to much job. Joseph. Um, you were just, you just saw that all your friends are missing from the, uh, from the matching carpets. What do you do? I think I start getting up on my feet again in a follow cutter in like direction of like mountain chop shows office and this z because my search following behind me. I stopped in my tracks and he probably bumps into me. Oh, oh oh oh sorry, man. I know you was following me. Um, I just thinking, you know, we gotta keep pushing on. You're right. But I just have a thought. Um,
00:13:05
Speaker
uh... you know how i don't really like much of job starting to think this kid print is more much of joe does the only thing i think i want to do is leave awesome body in one month of jocas nobody really seems to fuck with much of joe and uh... one's got his kid where he saw possibly go he'll probably know that i am really honest i'm gonna go give the body to much of joe and if you don't want to stick your dead body is placed on give a shit i want to put it in there they can keep it if so i'm gonna get awesome off the back of this here horse if you ask this little kid where he saw that group with uh... Beren's body double go and I'll be back. I'm gonna get Oz from off here. Oh goes okay boy. Oh, jeez is big boy to start Oh, like to it so it like goes get on me
Leads to Cruelty Alley
00:13:49
Speaker
I'll ask the child in the meantime Sounds good
00:13:53
Speaker
OK. All right. so ah Cutter walks away towards the Phoning Express. And Maverick, you talk to the little boy who is kneeling next to you and trying to throw water on the fire. What do you say? um hello Hello, little boy. um You have seen who did this, right? Uh huh. Or do you remember all i or where that person went? There was a few of them, a few of them. Yeah, there was a few and they're real scary. And there was one guy who had a really high pitched voice and I thought he was just playing, but I think that's how he talks. OK, and anything else interesting about the people?
00:14:38
Speaker
ah Yeah, there was Mr. Maverick. I'm scared to tell you, but I saw something that you might be angry about. What is that? I don't know if I should tell you. I mean, you can trust me. It's really it. It just feels like I'm tattling on someone that you like. I mean, if a person has done, has done bad deeds and I show him like my sheriff badge, you kind of need to tell me. World persuasion for this little boy.
00:15:23
Speaker
Persuasion. That's a five. So he looks at your badge for a little second and goes, Oh, did Chef Jeff give you that? Yeah. Wow. He must, you guys must be real good friends.
00:15:36
Speaker
and we We kind of are, yes. Uh, well, I saw Ms. Wint do it. Ms. Rim was with all the bad guys. It can't really be because she was with us.
Weapon Search and Humorous Planning
00:15:50
Speaker
Well, see, I told you you would you would be mad if I told you you don't even believe me. It's not that I don't believe you, it's just that it wouldn't quite be possible. Maybe it's someone that looked like her, but the one that we know was with us at that point. Does Rim have his sister? I honestly don't know. Maybe she has. Well, she was with them and she was quick. She was so fast. She ran around and was just throwing like these bottles with flames coming out of them everywhere. She was just so fast. That sounds definitely concerning.
00:16:27
Speaker
Yeah, and and while she was doing that, all the big bad guys in the high, the squeaky man came through and was just like grabbing people and hitting them with clubs and putting them on the backs of their horses and wagons and riding away. Did this squeaky man look like a clown? No, he didn't look like a clown, although he kept playing with a deck of cards while he was yelling at other people to do stuff, which I thought was very strange, like usually play cards on a table, not on a horse. Yeah, that sounds very weird. So, again, do you and like know where the lag went?
00:17:02
Speaker
i It just all happened so fast, Mr. Maverick, I'm not really sure. I got that. I was hiding for most of it and and they were started shooting and people were screaming and, you know, I don't know where anybody went, so... Do you know and like in which direction the lag at least went? Um, that way, uh, and he just kind of points out of town, um, toward to, to the, to the West.
00:17:31
Speaker
That's what he, that's what he does. and Okay. Um, okay. Then thanks for telling me, little boy. Uh, you're welcome. I'm telling you though, that was Ms. Rin. I, she looked right at me for a minute. And then usually, she usually show at least smile or throw me a piece of candy, but she didn't do any of that. She just ran in there and started blowing the house up. Yeah, that probably wasn't quite the person we know, but maybe she does have like some kind of relative who's like kind of mad at her. My mom told me that she was, that, that Ms. Rin was stealing people's horses the other day.
00:18:10
Speaker
You know, that's not entirely wrong.
00:18:17
Speaker
but But... Hey, I was stealing wagons, not horses. Who said that? Even good people make bad eat sometimes. We still can't really give up on them. I guess if you say so, Mr. Mavic, but you you need to go do something about your friend because Miss Wynn's her whole... She burned her whole house down. She's hanging out with some bad people. We we all get down to that. OK. You try and let go somewhere that's like a bit more safe than like an open street. Yeah, I'm going to go and hide in my fort. That's a good idea. No girls allowed. Well, maybe maybe this time if they need a place to hide, maybe I'll let girls. That's the attitude I like that.
00:19:07
Speaker
I'm gonna be a sheriff someday, a deputy and a governor. We definitely need that because, to be honest, Sheriff Jeff won't be alive for like, as long as I will be alive. What? He will not grow very old and so you will need to replace him at some point, I'm sure. Sheriff Jeff is gonna die soon? I don't know about soon, but he's also a bit older now. OK, I don't know. That's scary that you say that, Mr. Maverick. You know, just telling you that they're doing the right thing by wanting to be a sheriff. OK, good. I'm going to go study my sheriff stuff right now. Pew, pew, pew, pew.
00:19:57
Speaker
That's good, kid. Go for that criminal justice degree. the And then I go in like, yeah,
Journey to Cruelty Alley
00:20:05
Speaker
go away. you wait You're just going to go away? Yeah. Where is away? Where do you go? and In the direction of, like, where I think, like, Kutter would come from, from, like, the office from, like, Mountain Shop shows. OK. Uh, Kutter, you're carrying a a dripy ah drippy, body from, ah To my job, Joe's house. My job just plays the phony express. You get to the door. What do you do? I guess I'm kind of fireman carrying him. So I open the hand. I turn the handle with my ah my left hand. who Push it open. I step in. Hey, Joe, I got some cargo. I'm leaving here for a bit for you. Keep an eye on it. You just kind of like sitting there like turned around looking up at his painting. um Doesn't really acknowledge you.
00:20:57
Speaker
All right, we're just dropping down by the door You just drop it and you leave ah I Mean you can that's fine. I just what clarifying what you're doing. Yeah, all right, Joe Doesn't pay he doesn't talk to you he just keeps looking up at his painting um Are there any little pieces of like stone that got kicked in on my boots from the or anybody's boots from like the road outside? I mean, there can be if you want there to be sure. I've been out there with my throat at his back, his back. ah it It hits off the back of his head. He doesn't move. He just sits there staring up. You can kind of see from like he's like maybe like 270 degrees turned away. Well, that's a little bit too much for like 100 and some degrees turn away. Like so you can kind of see a little bit of profile. You can see he's just kind of like blinking every so often looking up at the painting. He doesn't acknowledge what you did.
00:21:50
Speaker
All right. As long as you're still alive. Later. I leave and I see Maverick on my cross. I'm like Maverick, you get any information from that kid? I did. um How did it go in there? I left Ozram's body in there, hopefully. ah Don't let anybody come and take that thing from that, from you. I yell back over my shoulder. The door just slowly closes and as it's such a closure, slam. I don't know if that was the door. That was him saying that. Man, creepy. I'm pretty sure it was him saying that. Yeah. Anyway, what'd you learn off that little feller? um So then a kid told me that it was actually multiple people who like did all of that. And apparently there was like one guy with a squeaky voice that didn't look like a clown, but he was playing around with cards.
00:22:47
Speaker
And there was also a person that looked like Rin, which can be our Rin because she was a fast, but the the kid was black pretty sure that she looked exactly like her. And he brought up that maybe it was like her sister or something like that. But do you know if she has any relatives? And she's kind of like a robot, but I mean. Yeah. I tried to learn as little as I could about what goes on beyond what I know of her, because it involves Frankenstein. And that feller, like Mutton Chop, gives me the creeps. So I tried. Yeah, kind of same. Yeah, I don't really know much about what else she got going on. but um
00:23:31
Speaker
Damn, there was also like some other people, but I think there were like kind of just like generic bad people. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Bad people. You say what way they left out of town? um Yeah, ah he said that they went like to the west of town and like a left. All right. Shit. Well, all right. Well, you sparked the recollection in my brain there, Maverick, I wish I would not have to recollect. Yes. In your bounty board in times, you you ever come across the bellend boys? I actually did, yeah. That was quite a while ago. i Well, I think from the description you mentioned of that squeaky voice fellow, what ain't a clown? I think that was Tommy Felix himself, the leader of the late bellend boys. They probably got more bellend boys now, but
00:24:27
Speaker
Oh, right. Yeah. But that's what I got about. I never told you fully what I know, what me and I did that got me on the wrong side of the law when I was desperate for money, but I worked with them fellers. Oh, really? Yes. So I said, there's, there's the late bellend boys because most of them got killed in that job. We did some of them by my own hand, but ah Tommy Felix still out there. And that sounds like him squeaky voice playing with cards. Yeah. being a joke. How about we like go and see if he's like that way you last last saw him and like try and ask him some questions. Yeah, yeah, I was gonna say. I can't remember. I'm gonna try to look at the map here. Where was was the place cruelty alley? Is that west of where we are now? That is west of here. Yeah, it is. And they well will that
00:25:27
Speaker
Um, sometimes I'm remembering, well, I met him down in cruelty alley with odds where he took me to the meet all them
Dreams and Reflections
00:25:32
Speaker
fellers. And, uh, that is to the West out there as I've remembered. Um, as I remember, yeah I mean, I guess then let's see what like Brenda's and then tell her that we are going to a cruelty alley, right? Yeah. Yeah. Which you remember what way and God can answer this as well. Remember what way Punkenstein was from here? i don't I try to keep that out of my memory, as I said, as much as possible. Punkenstein is up towards the woods. It's usually to the north. OK. I know. I'm sorry. It's out eastward. I think it was not too far from Ghost to Alley. I think he kind of like used like the cover of all that in the woods to cover this place. Yeah. I think it was kind of like to the east there. Yeah. I'm pretty sure it was eastward, actually. Damn. Well.
00:26:21
Speaker
Hopefully a horse has got enough rest sitting here for a little bit. Uh, maybe we should ride over towards his place. See if we can meet her somewhere. Hopefully she's on her way back. Found him peacefully sitting in his creepy little chairs. He sits in fully. Yeah. She's on her way back now. as She calmed down. She seemed like she was very upset by the burning of her place. Understandably. life So, I mean, I won't be very upset as well. I am. You know, I'm said they took over by the way you care for.
00:26:50
Speaker
Enter Ryn, who's who's just running in through town from the east as you guys are talking. Oh, God. Ryn, like you just ran a marathon. Yeah, that's what's pretty much it, actually. Yeah. Yeah. Your horse's body is right there. Could have taken him. i I was raging. I did was not thinking. I'm still trying to come down from that, to be honest. but ah um okay so Bad news, guys. yeah um How do I put this? I'm not the only me. and Okay.
00:27:36
Speaker
Punkenstein made other models before me so that he could have the perfect me. And let's just say that they are all out and apparently out to get me. and okay I don't know how they are even like, um, alive because I thought that they were all failures of what Frankenstein did. But so apparently they are all back and causing havoc all over the place. So that's what I found out. Also they have all of his doomsday devices and um weapons and
00:28:30
Speaker
As we know, he's pretty crafty, so we could just imagine the kind of stuff that they have. That sounds like somewhat of a problem. Yeah.
00:28:47
Speaker
um But yeah, it does make sense of what the kid was telling us. ah There were there were like also here like burning down like matching carpets.
00:28:59
Speaker
ah So it was her. ah Yes, but she wasn't alone. And we actually have but like a lead to actually where they went because one of like cut us all associates was apparently with them. And they're usually over in cruelty alley. So we are probably shouldn't like go there and like look for more clues. Cruelty alley? Why would they go there? Because that's where probably the people are. They're like, did that to like matching carpets. Well, I mean, like, there's really not a whole lot going for it out there, really. Like, you know, I mean, I asked them might I went there if you meet them. I guess that's true. All right. Cutter. I didn't really tell him to go there.
00:29:55
Speaker
yeah Carter, did you see anything? At Munchops.
00:30:04
Speaker
Cut a row to did you see anything at Mr. Munchops? Also, I muted you by mistake, buddy. I tried to text you about it, but I pressed your microphone by accident trying to mute mine. I was saying little bits here now to go. Yeah, well, I put the message on Zancaster. That's on you for not reading it. I left my phone somewhere else not here. I'm. ah I'm a cool, older person. Thirties in my thirties. I don't have my phone with me all the time. You know he is. Anyway, ah ah what was the question? Did I say anything weird? oh anything at muttonot ah I didn't see and nothing nothing unusual there. He's just being his old, natural, weird
Morning Strategy and Relationships
00:30:43
Speaker
self. I left Awesom's body in there. Hopefully he'll be able to keep it safe and see he's got all his weird, you know,
00:30:50
Speaker
Whatever's going on with him. Nothing ever seems to bother him. Everything's like water off a duck's back with that feller but What do you mean? Well, he's is always weird knows everything's going on ah Place got attacked and he's fine sitting in his little place and observing his little picture himself like he always is Just as creepy as sitting there Yeah, as always, I mean I was so surprised he he never gets up once in a while. He does. That's more surprising to me. I You know, I am kind of curious, since that I kind of targeted everyone you're associated with, why didn't they keep their PIM as well? I probably took one look at him. I mean, that's kind of true, yeah.
00:31:36
Speaker
Hey, I don't care either way if I was trying to kidnap people and I seen him and sitting over there I'm gonna leave him behind this that's when I don't even take Plus I was just thinking I don't know we should there's probably a bunch of them over there Maybe we should try and get Joe Jeff Sheriff Jeff to help us out again get some people rounded up So some help people help us shoot up the place we need to but same time we can't get no more people killed on account of our crap malarkey so I mean I look, I look very, I feel like I kind of feel like Montana is just kind of a place where they were just like, yeah, this will be fine for hell. I mean, I mean, kind of. Yeah. Yeah. ah All right. Let's go. Well, we're in. Hold on a second here. We're we're three people about to go on what may or may not be the end of our lives against a much larger number.
00:32:31
Speaker
um So I was thinking, I don't know. I feel like something special should be said or done. We should maybe, I don't know, shake hands or um empire put our hands in on account of three. Let's do it. I don't know. You want to like hug or something? I don't know about that. Actually, maybe. I'm always, one I'm always uncomfortable with that kind of stuff. Let's all hug you guys. Oh, I need to get past my uncomfortableness with these, these things before I go. All right, come on. Let's go save everybody we love and maybe die trying. Bring it in. All We're like all handled together and do like a team cheer. Well, I want to hug now. We're going to hug. We're going to, we're going to group hug. Get in here, old man. All right, fine.
00:33:13
Speaker
Oh, oh, okay. your Your tank's hot. They're, they're in. Geez, that thing's hot. You've been running. yeah Wow. Careful. That's hot. It's going to be hot.
Stealth Approach to Cruelty Alley
00:33:23
Speaker
It's not as hot as chef chef's coffee. You're right about that. Yeah. Yeah. Well, suppose we ought to get on to it then. Yeah. I mean, bad people won't catch themselves. So it's true. That's true. You gotta be heroes and stuff.
00:33:47
Speaker
Okay. but i don't know You know, I decided to be a sheriff and I realized that bad people weren't going to catch themselves. obviously opposite what they do and They might catch a cold, but they'll never catch themselves. And that's something I just can't understand. Um, so where are you guys? What's your move? Where are you all headed? Are you guys going to visit anywhere? Are you, are you guys heading directly to somewhere? Is anywhere else you want to talk to? Straight. The crueltyality is where I want cruelity cross the is where I'm planning. Hold on first. How's bulls, bulls, bulls. How is it? Yeah.
00:34:28
Speaker
I Appany looks you over real quick and then just kind of. She looks like she relaxes a little after seeming a little kind of uncomfortable around you for a minute and then walks in the back and brings you like a really nice little herb bundle that. She just plucked from the garden in the back and just gives it to you for free for free.
00:35:09
Speaker
Things happening. She still so throws down like $30 for the stash. She go, don't worry. It wasn't me. It was some other version of me, not, you know, you know, what you probably don't know what I mean, but it wasn't me. I promise she runs out. happening just has like a kind of a blank look on her face and just kind of shrugs just kind of turns around the walks back to the back her translator Delilah's not in today. um I just thought I do kind of want to look for something for relief. What do you want to look for my guy? um Something like dynamite or like other explosives or something.
00:35:56
Speaker
So that if there are a lot of people and we need to like kill them, that I could just like chuck something and then like make a big boom. Oh man. Is there any around that you can get explode ease from? Um, ah three and a half. If that helps you remember sticks. Oh, that's great. Didn't remind you that you still had those. Six of Dean Amite, yeah. I don't remember where he got it. What about Lecture's chef's office? Does he has anything like he took off from bad people? You can go and check if you want, I suppose. You can do a quick notice roll if you like. I'll do that. Go in there and I'll take a look around. I'm going to go with him.
00:36:43
Speaker
That's an 11. That's an 11. All right. So you guys head into Sheriff Jeff's office and you see, you see, you see, uh, a red headed lady in her, you know, in her undies, just kind of like sitting at his desk, like trying to sip some boiling hot coffee from a mug. Ah, how does he do this? Kind of look different than I remember you. Huh? Who do you, who do you remember? Is Sheriff Jeff cheating on me? No, for a second, I thought you were him. It's all right. Oh, oh, oh, yeah. I've been I've been growing out my beard. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I ain't growing out my beard. My hair is just really long. What do you what do you need, sugar? I don't really mind us. I'm just going to like look around if that's like anything useful around that we like need for operation. Like what? What are you looking for, hon? Jeff Jeff said y'all might stop by. He said he was going to do something with a mountain.
00:37:42
Speaker
Yeah. um ah Do you know if there's either like some explosives or some like weaponry that's like laying around? I mean, he's got a couple of guns in the back, I suppose, but I ain't seen explosives. Why would why would he have explosives? You know, maybe that he like took it from some bad guys or something. Or maybe he's like really into explosives for some reason. No, he's just really into just girls who can really take the heat. You know what I mean? Yeah, I'm trying. So are you an explosive? I guess you could call me a little bit of a firecracker and she gives you a little bit of a wink. I just like this head cinema. He's just like throwing her at the enemies throwing her at the enemies and she goes pop. And she's like.
00:38:35
Speaker
It's like, yeah, you know, uh, I don't think, I don't know if he's got anything that blows up. He's got a bunch of guns in the back. You could probably look through and, uh, yeah, you know, uh, yeah, just be careful back there. Cause he's got coffee everywhere. i I took a hot load right on me the other day and got like 33 burns. like Third-degree burns all over my chest. and read I don't know if it's third degree. At least he missed my hair though. He didn't get into my hair or my face, but he got it on my chest pretty good. That's more like probably at one and a half degree now that I'm really looking at it. And she looks down through her bras. Like, yeah, I guess you can kind of see a little bit of a pattern of it. But I love my, I love my little Jeffy though. So I'm going to, I'm going to do this for him.
00:39:21
Speaker
Carter comes walking in, you guys finally think, oh my God, ma'am, jeez, Louise, cover yourself. walk on like I'm a, I'm a, I'm a spoken for man. I can't be singing this kind of thing. i'll be asked I'll be with the horses. All right. Some men just can't handle the hotness. this is And he'll get him a phage. Um, so we'll just look through the guns. All right. Oh yeah. Go for it. The back door is unlocked. Wink. Okay. When you go in the back and you start rummaging through Sheriff Jeff stuff. Yeah, yeah. He's got like a little a little like wooden closet. One of those kind of big old tall ass like a wardrobe, so to speak. It's just got like shotguns and rifles and pistols hanging in it and a fucking sword. No, no, no. Where you got that? There's a sword in there. um and Yeah, he's got up just a bunch of weapons like up in that fucking closet.
00:40:20
Speaker
Um, Ren would like to grab the sword. I has a sword. I'm peeking the window. Hey Maverick, Maverick, give me that, give me that scatter gun. Scatter gun. Scatter gun. Yes. Sorry, I'm talking over here. That was just me like, generally asking. Um, okay. I'll grab you with those. I was trying to be a little tiny with it.
00:40:51
Speaker
Is there something that has like a high fire rate? I mean, you would probably need like a mounted gun for something that you're probably thinking of, but there's like a couple of things. I have like a rifle and a rifle doesn't shoot that quick. So I was thinking, that's is there something that shoots quicker? the The only thing I could think of that, like, would have like a really high fire rate is like one of those old time like mounted machine guns or something where they can crank the the thing. Hmm. I can't think of anything else. I don't think they had like assault rifles in the 19. Although then again, there's very archaic. You guys did fight some big mech suits that had mini guns attached to them. So what the fuck do I know? Yeah, that's true.
00:41:39
Speaker
But still, I don't think you're going to find anything handheld that's going to shoot like a cut a gun. But he's got a couple of pistols in there. You can arm yourself with some extra pistol arrows. Some six shooters. He's got a German Ruger gun in there. I'll take that. He's a bit of a collector. um I think there are at least semi automatic pistols coming into play these days. That's quicker than a revolver. Oh, yeah. Right, definitely, definitely, definitely. Yeah, no, no Gatling gun in Sheriff Jeff's closet. Yeah, he doesn't have like a fucking minigun. That's unfortunate. no I don't know when the Ruger was invented. I think it was probably I think it was like a couple of years later than where we're at, but. um But who knows, maybe Sheriff Jeff knows some people when he got his hands on like an early model of ah of an original Luger pistol. ah Yeah, I guess it's good to go then.
00:42:37
Speaker
Are you are you. youngren ah Yeah, I'm just going to grab this sword right here and I'm just going to grab this extra ammunition and I'll be right now. OK, good. Extra ammunition. You got it, partner.
00:42:57
Speaker
So you take a sword and some ammo, you take a German Ruger and some ammo and you grab a shotgun for Qatar. Is that right? Yes, exactly. Oh, Maverick, if there's any, hold on, let me put my character sheet back up. Any 45 or 52 in there, give me some bullets. I'll probably need extra if we're going to be shooting up to the place. I think, oh, yeah. think of sheriff che's closet like Like when you go to your storage on a video game and then all of your stacks just instantly refill because you have a bunch of ninety nine thousand dollars in your closet. So as many as you can fit. That's what Jeff has in his closet. portrait You walk in. Cha-ching. Sweet. Bye.
00:43:43
Speaker
I don't even count Namo, but I'm just going to say I at least I have more to sure have a fight when your sword does strength plus one D eight of damage. Strength. Yes. Oh, come on. Yes. Strength plus one D eight of damage. And. And it has an emergency bullet in the hilt. that you can turn upside down and shoot and it does a it's a it's just a cult size bullet. It's just a little guy, but it has to do six plus one damage if you want to shoot with it from the handle. That's cool. Hey. Yeah. Sheriff Jeff is a collector of cool stuff.
00:44:31
Speaker
different
00:44:34
Speaker
Uh, uh, Maverick, you're a German Ruger. I'm just making this up because I don't have any guns in front of me. So I'm just going to make up some stats for you. I'm going to say that thing does, um, two D six plus four damage when you shoot somebody with it. So it's a pretty good feeling if you can hit shoot with it.
00:44:56
Speaker
And then a double barrel shotgun for your friend does 3d6 damage 3d6 of damage. Yes And it also has a pistol shot in the hilt that does 2d6 plus 1 Okay, so type like on and pipe that into the chat somewhere more so I can remember what I'm typing and I got too many damages to 3d6 2d6 plus 1 for That's for that. How much the actual? 3d6 is the shotgun. It's a double barrel shotgun.
00:45:29
Speaker
All right, so you guys went into Sheriff Jeff's you essentially went shopping at share ah Sheriff Jeff's store of fine weapons. um And then ah you come out and you hear, ah, god damn it. Ah, oh as she is still trying to drink some hot coffee, um but she's kind of like holding it up a little bit and kind of leaning over. So she doesn't spill it, spill a hot cup of Joe on her chest again. Um, he's, oh, Joe, find me little hot. It makes you hot. Oh, did I spill some on your boots there, sugar? And it was quite a coffee, but, um, it's whatever. Oh, well, Hey, if you want to come by, see Sheriff Jeff and I later, we've been talking about opening our doors. If you know what I mean. I think I do know what you mean, but for now we have like more like important stuff to do. Oh yeah. Of course. Of course. Go save whatever, and then come back and then, um,
00:46:27
Speaker
We could talk more about hot coffee. All right. I'm down for the coffee talk. I'm down for the coffee talk. ah OK, so you guys head out, you see Carter outside to give him his gun and all the all the accoutrement that comes with it. ah What's your move, boys and girl? That's right on. I don't know. Yeah, she's going to get by. Take off, get by. Do you take the way? Did you guys get a wagon or is it just a horse? I can't remember if you got a new way. He's just a horse now because our wagon is broken. But he's just a horse now. But he's just a horse. He was once a transformer. He was once a majestic carriage rider or driver. And now he's just a horse. Just he's not just a horse, he's mighty.
00:47:25
Speaker
and um He's got like 12 pack abs from carrying around that thing and his quads are huge the bed Dragging that wagon all the time. He's fucking ripped man. Just drive. We're just driving the quantities. Yeah, you got some huge quads He's like a little bulldozer
00:47:43
Speaker
Uh, yeah. And his, his, his, his muscle. I'm going to like teach my horse or to shoot a gun before we leave.
00:47:55
Speaker
Every guy's a good joke. I needed some levity in his dark time. And you see, like you see, you see your, your horse midnight, like tries to pick up a gun, tries to pull the trigger with his tongue. e I'm just kidding. That doesn't happen. That's crazy. Let's not not that's i'll do that. ah see like You see like through his hooves, human fingers bust through the hooves and it's been a costume the whole time. He like stands up on two feet and then he starts like shooting everywhere. Yeah. And it's the it's another Wren in a horse costume.
00:48:33
Speaker
Oh my god. kids so My brain would break and the portfolio would be busted. You would just be like, is this real? This is this is where Phone Express gets too silly. Yes, silly. doesnt love to chart We can have demons, metrosexual demons. We can have an old man fucking a demon on a train. Yeah, we can have hot loves and robot working a horse. We can have robot being a horse inside a costume. I just do silly. To crossing the line.
00:49:13
Speaker
Across the line, you're breaking my, you know, I'm trying to escape reality. Now this reality is too silly. I need a podcast within a podcast. Welcome to Punky's podcast. I'm talking about what's silly in the world. Um, so, okay. So you guys are riding out of town towards cruelty alley, you say, right? You're riding and you're riding and then you're riding. And it's boring. Not a whole lot happens. You can only ride at a certain pace because your horses are tired. You still have to go past Grand Lake and Jensen before you can even get to the threshold to see where Cruelty Alley is. It's a boring, stinky, sweaty ride until the sun goes down. And then it's a cold, stinky, sweaty ride. I didn't remember i didn't get a new blanket. I wrapped all of them up on my other one. i know I'm going to be cold tonight.
00:50:07
Speaker
My ever... Hold me, baby. Yeah. You want to, like, you know, cuddle together for warmth? Yeah, well, maybe not so... Well, maybe we'll make a little fire go down somewhere secluded where nobody might see us sleeping. Okay, yeah. Not for anything strange, just to keep our fire hidden. Yeah, yeah, sure, yeah. For nefarious eyes, narrator, point out. I just hear, like, flying out there. Good, good. The narrator was starting to think some weird things. accidentally lost my pants. Uh-oh. I got to share your pants, buddy. I don't know. I spilled some of my pants and I need to take them off. Oh no.
00:50:50
Speaker
Gross.
00:50:55
Speaker
Gross, his friend says, is like a bunch of steam comes like just like billowing out of her bag. Yeah, but I am thinking we probably should. She's all like she's all like Austin Powers style. Fucking watching the the outline of the shadows. and Yeah. Fucking so all of a sudden popcorn comes out of nowhere. Thanks. But he starts eating some out of your hand. No, no, keep going. Keep going. It's like a horse walks in like how this horse get in this. All right. So you guys pitch a tent for the night. um yeah And you guys take a little nap for Rooney as you guys get into the nighttime.
00:51:52
Speaker
Um, do you guys have any talks around the campfire? Or try and play as they fellas with fellers and feller and Ren. You're a feller by my account, Ren. It's fine. It's my fill like I call everyone dude. So it's whatever. All right. Well, um I was thinking, I mean, they're probably go be on alert expecting us to come by, but what if we, we sleep through the night here. We, we, we set out before the sun comes up and try and come in either with the dawn or before the dawn, maybe someone will be sleeping at least. ah i' keep watching ah I'll keep watching you guys go ahead and sleep because
00:52:36
Speaker
ah I don't know if I can sleep. I've got too much adrenaline and you know, I just, I just refilled my tank. So I'm fine. You know, won f easy time sleeping as well, but let's try it. All right. Well, you go ahead and I'll keep watch. That's good. Thanks. All right. yeah You're an old man. You need this sleep.
00:53:02
Speaker
So I'm tired, all is asleep, but I can't get it. All right, Maverick, roll ah a vigor, a spirit roll to see if you can will yourself to sleep. It's a 14. Oh, a 14. The moment he says, I have too much to think about. I'm too anxious to sleep. classic old plastic Just like grandpa. I've got my eyes on you. and
00:53:32
Speaker
I see. yeah just And I said at the same time. Yeah. So fatigue wins over trauma. Yep. Fatigue. You know what? They say your body keeps score. And that is one way that eventually your body is like, no, no, no, I'm making the decision now. It's out of your hands. You're sleeping. yeah I had my first experience with that fun little side tangent when I did that 24 hour live stream where you and eight you and I met Adrian many moons ago. The moment I sat down, I was feeling so good the whole 24 hours. I wasn't sleepy at all. I felt amazing. The moment I got up and sat on my comfy little leather couch and just rested my head on the back, I don't remember falling asleep. But I wasing i was out for like 13 hours. I don't remember being tired. I just sat there for a second and then boom, the lights were out.
00:54:20
Speaker
Yeah, that happened. I slept through sunshine and everything, noise, construction. Didn't know I was that sleepy until I sat down. I think it wasn't like that for me. I watched YouTube for another hour and then like went to sleep and then like woke up at 10 or 11 or something like that. Yeah, not me. i was My body was like, nope, you're good. Anyway, moving on. so You talk about a plan. You know, you're on watch. Why don't you do a quick little notice roll just to see what you can see out in the world? OK. Yeah, we'll say that you guys are a bit of a ways out now. And, you know, you're just you're just. Oh, my God. In the night. That's a two.
00:55:11
Speaker
I am going to steal Adrien's little blood contract that he's got with Roldwoy. That's only for me. ah No. I only work with pure German blood. I am German. German now? No. Do you represent a lot of German children? Only half.
00:55:43
Speaker
You just have to steal some from Adrian, I guess. I guess. Yeah. He's she's Adrian. She's a lady who sucks blood. Hell, yeah.
00:55:56
Speaker
Blood, blah, blah. i and So, ah yeah, that you go undisturbed for the most of the night when you can sit there and your thoughts. What kind of things goes to Rinn's mind as. Things happen. So I feel like she'd probably be thinking about um that she probably should have actually destroyed all of the previous rins that she knew about, but she didn't think that because that they were not active or anything, they weren't working, they weren't perfect. Like, Frankenstein thought that they were.
00:56:34
Speaker
She should have just destroyed them instead of letting him keep him in a dungeon and underneath the house. And um she's probably thinking to herself, ah ah man, I'm going to have to rebuild matching carpets when I get back. This is going to suck. I was I had it perfect this time. And of course, someone ruined my perfection. And I hope the chef is going to be OK by the time we get back.
00:57:12
Speaker
Damn it. Yeah, like this is all the thoughts that are going into her head. Um, and then I'm going to have to figure out how to get that crow out of that closet sometime. Cause he's pretty cool. I want him as a buddy. Um, and then I could be like Maverick and have my own bird, except I don't want him to fight. I just want him to be like my buddy just to talk. Uh, yeah, that's, this is what's going on in Ren's brain. You hear after a few moments after your brain just kind of go through all those thoughts and you you hear. Do you really mean it, Ren? Are you worried about me? Of course I am, Sheffi. Well, are you here right now? Am I really that sound? Yeah, let's just let's go with that. Yeah. Oh.
00:58:09
Speaker
Let's go with that. Yeah, you're just you're you're delusional from a long day. We're just having a little conversation, you and me. All right. know I thought it was you that came in and then you came in and talked to me all those nice things. And I was like, why is really wearing a different different clothes? She never changes her clothes. She's like a cartoon character, whatever that is.
00:58:32
Speaker
Yeah, I promise I didn't do it. Whatever you think I did.
00:58:39
Speaker
Well, it couldn't have been you if you're having all these nice thoughts. I tried to read the other ones, and it's just anger the whole time. Yeah. I don't know why. I thought they weren't active. I don't know. That's why I was confused. But now that I know that you're both there, and I'm trying to listen to them now, all I hear is screaming. Just lots and lots of screaming. Hmm. It's not good. No, no, it isn't. Are you OK, at least? No, all my friends are gone. I'm not allowed to fix this place. I just have to sit here as the whole place burns down around me. Our fire brigade sucks. Well, it yeah, that's accurate. Well, hang in there, Shuffy. I'm going to try to make it back to you and
00:59:36
Speaker
and fix all of this, but I promise, I know what, no matter what, you're my buddy and I love ya. Well, it's frankly, it's really nice to hear, Rin, because that was really shocking for me to see, and I don't know all the things like old Joe does, but, you know, so it's been very confusing for me, so it's good to know that you're still with us and you're still one of the good ones. Well, yeah, I'd never go bad. We gotta go a little bit. Well, I mean, I did go a little bit. I think we know what happened though is that I was feeding off of the rage of the other ones. So I think maybe that might have happened. My, maybe my wires got crossed with them or something could have happened. Oh, I don't know. I've never heard of that either. Is there going to be a bunch of you running around?
01:00:33
Speaker
I would mind having more than one ring. I hope not. I'm going to try not to, because there can only be one me. And i that that's me. And that's not OK. But what if you could like, you know, put one in your house, one in Sinner's Canyon, and maybe one, I don't know, in Aruba, and then just transfer your brain to different ones? That'd be cool. You could travel very quickly that way. Yeah, that's true. That would be kind of cool. You got a good point. I'm sure. pun i come up with something like that Yeah. Okay. I don't know how many there were, but the one that I saw was very quick and very mean. She didn't even say hi to me or anything.
01:01:18
Speaker
Oh, wow. What a rude, so rude. Don't they know that you always you always say hello to Sheffi no matter what. You always and she threw she threw some goulash in my face when I offered. ah Oh, don't worry. she I got you. OK, well, try to get some sleep, pretty.
01:01:47
Speaker
I can't sleep. You should try. Sleep is good for you, you know, for the part of you that is human. What if, what if they get the drop on us and then we, you know, I just don't want that to happen, especially to these guys. You know, I really like these guys and you know, I'd hate to see them get hurt. Oh, I wouldn't worry about it. Before Joe went all statu-y, he did say that everybody at least makes it to the final fight. Statu-y? What do you mean by statu-y? Oh, he's not even here anymore. I mean, he's here, but, you know, you know that thing I told you a about transferring yourself to different versions of you? He's kind of doing that now.
01:02:39
Speaker
ah Oh... Yeah, he's somewhere else. He's such a smarty pants, but he won't show me how to do it. What a jerk. He is a jerk, and I love him. I know, I love him too. Hang in there, Shucky. Everyone in doodads knows, Ridd. Yeah, shut up. I don't tell everybody. They already know. You don't hide it very well. You blush like a little schoolgirl every time you walk out of there.
01:03:08
Speaker
No, I don't. She like blushes visibly.
01:03:14
Speaker
Anyway, house is burning down. Gotta watch it. Bye. oh Good night, Chefie. Good nighty-dide. And while she's doing that, are you two asleep, or do you talk before you go to sleep, Cutter and Maverick? Or are you just out? Roll a spirit roll, Cutter. And how well you do it sleeping by no mavericks had it. It's like I don't just equal or fail there.
01:03:45
Speaker
but Halfway, halfway, halfway through your sleep. I'm taking you see. Yeah, you see old. What was his name? Tommy Felix. Tommy Felix, like just like pistol whipping bathy and putting her on his horse and riding off with her. no And I'm on, I'm running after him, but I'm on one of those, like, there's like the treadmill dream where you ah keep running. and They keep getting further away. No, I'm in stuck in place. ba And then you hear, what about me? Are you guys coming after me too?
01:04:22
Speaker
you Yeah. but I mean, you know, bath is and most important to me. That sucks. I thought someone would love me too. Well, sure, somebody does, but that ain't me, sorry. All right, don't piss your bed. Am I peeing? Am I peeing? Roll a bigger roll so that you pee. I got eight. Eight. You don't. You hold it. I'm not peeing. So you shut up. Oh, well, a lot of people would have all the ease at the place. Maverick, roll figure to see if you pee since you're old.
01:05:07
Speaker
If you're wearing your huggies to bed. OK, now I did it. Oh, it's a six. All right. You made it. You made it. You didn't just the bed. um All right. The morning the morning cock cries. like kakadeto day And you guys wake up from your sleep. um What do you do? I also want to mention, I was dreaming of mean Ishi and it's like that wea that I'm standing there and like holding her by the wings and we're like turning in circles and there's like flowers everywhere and the sun's shining.
01:05:48
Speaker
And all I see is the scene from Dumb and Dumber when he shows up at the house. and and He's like daydreaming in the car. but you know ah Mary Moon, Mary Moon, Mary Moon, Mary Moon. She's a vegetarian. Dreamweaver. Yeah. so every that night and And then she takes off her shirt and like they're just blinking headlights. He's like, what the hell? Like. bre fuck And. I'm never really like this So you have a wonderful dream. ah You wake up, you prepare, you take down your camp and shit. ah What's your move as you guys continue onward towards cruelty alley?
01:06:43
Speaker
Let's say that you guys are probably just outside of Grand Lake, maybe about a half a mile or so. um So do you how well do you remember cruelty? alicota I didn't spend too much time there. I didn't really quite like it. It was just a rundown little old ghost town they was working out of. It's kind of not the biggest place, but a lot of little buildings they will be hiding in a lot of windows up top. They will be shooting out at us from. Yeah. A lot of holes to hide some people in. I guess then we should keep clear of the open roads, right? Yeah, we ought to try and sneak in if we can. Yeah. We can take people out quietly and find where we're hiding people. So let's try to go from building to building or something like that. Yeah. We can maybe scope the place out, see if we can find out where they're
01:07:43
Speaker
I mean, there was one old, I think it was like an old tavern or something. They was all, it was kind of the headquarters where Tommy used to hang out. I don't know if they're going to be centralized there still or not, or where they're going to have everybody, what they're going to be doing, but. I mean, it's bestly that we have right now. We should like try and get there. Yeah, yeah. And once we have like one of those guys, we could also like, uh, question them. Could, could, yeah. think There's a couple fellers I knew I seen there that didn't go along and died. I might still, I mean, know they're going to like me, but at least if I see them, I'll know they've been there to holton for for the long haul. They might know more than other folks that just got in. the yeah but Either way, yeah, let's i mean let's try our best. If we're not, I took the shotgun. ah got older We got the old speaking iron here.
01:08:37
Speaker
yeah speak you know let's let our guns stay yep All right, so you you guys are gonna try to stealth in towards cruelty alley Yeah, probably once we get close enough lead the horses off somewhere else and Crawl in all right. Let's have some stealth rolls, baby. Yeah everybody Let's do the stealth I close my feet so I can look at the map hold on a second Let me pull it back up clicking stealth but
01:09:08
Speaker
that's two benjamin
01:09:13
Speaker
Benjamin You don't have a stealth role everybody should have at least I think stealth is one of your natural things Tank on the back. That's very loud. She's not free stealthy Well, you should still at least have like a d4 and stealth just as a default to your character sheet well, hey before we stealth and maybe we can tell us she's not gonna crawling around and ah and Don't you have that big-ass rifle ring? You can't even carry you got to keep on your horse all of the time or in the wagon You still got that thing on your horse Yeah with you Yeah, maybe you can maybe you can lay up somewhere and scope out the place from up high and if anybody tries doing anything shifty you can pow crack them and
01:09:54
Speaker
Yeah, I could do that. I've got my scope on my hat. Hell yeah, that's good, yeah. I was going to say, I was thinking, this whole ride I've been hearing off you, I don't know how you're going to be sneaking around with all that buzzing and theme letting go. Yeah, it's going to be tough for me to get around the guards and everything. Yeah, but if we keep you up top, you can keep an eye out on everything. If somebody tries to sneak up on us, then they're going to know there's another person up on the hill. Pow. If you can just like rush in. Yeah, got it. Since you've seen shit going wrong, you can run down the hill and use that little sword you got or shoot them with a normal gun, whatever. Yeah, that's a good one. I think I like this. All right, I'm going to now go into jackal mode. Hit the jackal switch. All right.
01:10:47
Speaker
Uh, Maverick, did you roll already? Oh, you did. You rolled a five. I did roll a five. Fifteen. Now I'm just for fun. I'm going to roll some cow pokes. Just a couple of notice rolls.
01:11:02
Speaker
Fuck with your fours. They did all right, I guess, ah but not um not as good as you boys did. So. Hell yeah. So yeah, you guys ride close enough. that You can see cruelty alley cutter. It looks kind of like you remember. It's only been a few months, but. um But ah yeah, it still looks pretty run down, pretty shitty. You see, you know, a few horses tied to some rails. I was going to say, can we can I try and count horses if I can do a notice, see if I can tell when people might be in there. Sure. Go ahead. Roll a roll a notice. Got to be as smart as we can on this shit. Seven. As you get close to kind of.
01:11:39
Speaker
One of the ways you can enter the town, you can kind of see off to the side where like one of the. The little saloon hangouts people have. It looks like there's be about three horses currently tied up there. Now there are you can still you can hear some more winning like off in the distance like throughout the town, but like as you first enter where the first little business is you see three. OK. What do you do? uh... and we ought to sneak around some like uh... not in main entryway sneak through i don't know some back uh... kathryn woods and just up come up behind a house and shivers on one close to the weeds we can just sneak into or something and okay uh... let's go for this alie because it doesn't look as cruel oh well
01:12:33
Speaker
So are you going to you're going to sneak through the alleys or are you going to be doing anything with are you going inside or are you continuing to the town just avoiding the horses and the guys? I want to go through like a into ah the first building we can kind of get into just to like or at least look into it to see what's going on inside of the nearest building to or like where we're slow. Sure, you can probably peer in through the window of like the kind of broken down saloon. Yeah. um And you can see there's just a couple of fellers in there playing cards. You know, just like just there looked like they've been drinking a little bit. And then there's another guy who's kind of like wandering off over towards the bar, puking a little bit on the bar and then trying to reach behind it to grab whatever's left as the other guys were sitting at the table. Are there any chairs or boards or barrels or anything outside this door here? Or is there like a back door, a front door? I want to lock these motherfuckers in there if I can. Well, the front door is kind of more of one of those like
01:13:31
Speaker
You know, old timey, like when they call those guy, those um the bat wing doors, those little bat wing doors. Yeah. So um you probably need to block it somehow. That ain't going to work out. They'll see me doing that a mile off. Probably. That's all right. That's OK. Well, there's three drawers in here. may Use my rope and like tie it to the to the handle of the store. Because it's not a traditional door handle. It's like ah like a saloon door. You know, like those kind of saloon doors? that kind like we yeah like mean They could climb up a rover or under it if they needed to. That's fine. Anyway, these boys look like they're drunk to skunks anyway. They ain't going to be able to shoot straight. So I think that's fine. um There's three fellers there. ah so let's Let's see if we can poke around. You hear one of them's like, I gotta go rock a piss.
01:14:21
Speaker
Oh, shit, man, one of them is going to rock a piece. Let's get like, like, gets up, gets up from the table. Just kind of like, he's like kind of staggering over towards the the front of the saloon. He's like, where is that fucking door? It's one of you is a real door. And he's like, feeling like you're looking like he's trying to push through a door that hasn't there yet. Like, where is it? Maverick, we ought to get out of here. I was thinking about taking his feller down, but his boys are going to notice he's going missing. So let's just get out of here. She doesn't see us. OK, let's leave. I think it is horse Winnie's a little bit. Yeah, hang on there. There was your name. Jill, Jill, settle down. This wizard, everybody was Joe. He kind of fumbles off towards towards the alley where you guys are.
01:15:08
Speaker
Oh man, i as ah as as we're like further away, I'm like, man, forgot another thought. What if we try and get near these fellers horses or like not just these ones, but some other ones, we set them loose and either that'll get them all twisted up thinking they're going to chase our horses and or if we try and get out here, they won't be able to chase us because our horses are out out in the woods. No, that's a good idea. Let's do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. so horse Let's, uh, while we split up, uh, be careful. I'll leave you here, man, for these three fellers horses. Uh, be careful with that pissing man.
Sound Tracking and Camp Observation
01:15:39
Speaker
Uh, I'm going to go see like a fire. I heard, I heard other ones winning and somewhere else. I'm going to try and see if I can find them. I'm going to try and follow them with my ears and a sniffer of horse poop. All right. Yeah. I'll try not to get pissed on. Good.
01:15:54
Speaker
All right, so you're going to kind of where are you going? I want to try and follow you. So I heard more horses. I'm going to try and see if I can follow where they might be. Sure. ah Let's do one more note. It's just for poops and giggles. Just for poops and laughs. I got a five. ah Yeah, you follow the sound out a bit. You see that ah kind of kind of a little bit of ways out of the main street of the town where like, you know, the old traditional kind of like all the main like house or built businesses are on one main street. You kind of follow it off a little bit and you see like kind of on the outskirts of this main business area, there's like a couple of like little shacks and tents and stuff pitched and a little fires going.
01:16:33
Speaker
Uh, and you see, there's a couple of horses out there, you know, they're like rope to a tree while there's a few of our boys, one guy's kind of roasting some. Roasting some foul that he caught like on a, on a spit. Uh, while other guys are just kind of like sitting around and we did, we, so we didn't really say when we got up, but are we still before the dawn? We're still kind of in the dark. Well, I did say the rooster crowed, but like we could say that the sun is on its way up. It's not totally like risen yet. So it's probably like there's still play some shadows here and there, but the sun isn't fully in the sky yet. Well, it looks like I can. I want to try and get to their horses and loosen up ah without them seeing if I need to do another stuff. I shall. But it looks like I could do that. I would like to make it an agility role to see if you can do it. You're already stealthy. i't I don't want you to do stealth again. Let's see if you can do it with the right kind of dexterity whilst under stealth.
01:17:25
Speaker
Six. A six would be enough. So you're going to try to go to where their horses are tied to the tree and then let them loose. Yeah. Probably give them a little like a light little swat in the butt to get them to keep myself out of kicking distance. I'm going to try and swat them on the butt and get them to go. Oh, you're going to swat them on the butt? A little booty slap, you say. A little slappy on a tushy.
01:17:47
Speaker
All right. Give them a, yeah do one more. ah ah Agility, just see if you can do it and make yourself scarce.
Horse Release Chaos
01:17:56
Speaker
Fucking out of four. All right. You slap them and they go. And they start running your. It was like, oh, what the fuck? Not like, oh, come on now. Who didn't tie the horses? And like he's like, I sure turned Jeb. And Jeb gets up from he's like, I'm cooking my. Don't let this burn. And he like starts like running off. It's like, come on here. Horsey Horsey. He's like sprinting off towards towards the outskirts of town to go try to get the horses. Oh, man. I had a really cool thought.
01:18:23
Speaker
But it would really be really would fuck up if I don't do it. There's like there's there's still two guys at the fire then, right? ah There's only one guy at the fire. There's other guys are just kind of like sitting around like either at their tents or just kind of like but they're kind of still They're in that general area. How many? when the guy That was at the fire was when those cooking. Okay, then how many other dudes are left there? You could spot two from where you are It doesn't mean there couldn't be more but that's what you see Okay. Um, my thought was I wanted to like sneak up into their camp, start eating the guy's bird and then try and intimidate them into thinking, Hey, I got in here. I'll try and do that. I don't know some sort of spooky Western ghost man trickle or not. Nothing to think about ghosts, but just scare them into like, you know, backing off of the but leaving the area or leaving the group or something, but I could fuck it up real bad. No, just the guys who are left go and sneak in and scare them into leaving.
01:19:14
Speaker
It would be very bad if I fucked it up. Yeah. It would be really cool if it worked. I got one Benny left. With my good stealth, could I sneak into there without them seeing me get into at least their little camp spot? I don't know, man, because you're going into the belly of the beast now. and these guys aren't It's not like you're sneaking and like around a bunch of drunk people in a building. What if I walked in ah proudly as if I as if i belonged? You know what? let do you have ah Let's make it a performance role if that's what you're going to do. I'm hoping I don't have that, so I'm not going to do it. Yeah, if you're going to do that, you have to look the part. You have to act the part. Otherwise, we're going to make it a stealth role and we're going to double it up. and We're going to make that be just like a straight up. um Oh, I think agility, too. I think you were trying to get in and be quiet. I think I need both. I think I need both.
01:20:08
Speaker
So I need to succeed on a stealth and agility and then an intimidation to do every row would be really cool. I don't know. What do you
Splitting Up and Surveillance
01:20:14
Speaker
guys think? Should I try it? I mean, you should cut her a tool, do something crazy. I'm not really there to like, if you're twice by now. I have my, I have my plan of trying to subterfuge everything we got only. Well, only one guy got to leave. So I don't know. Oh, maybe I should go kill him. ah Oh man. Or just subdue him.
01:20:37
Speaker
I'm going to talk to that guy. You're just going to go after that guy instead. The one that ran away. Yeah. All right. ah Then we'll say, you know what? Since you're leaving the area, I'm not going to have you do another stealth just because he'd be the only one. and He's busy just sprinting away. Yeah. So you're going after him. um
01:20:58
Speaker
Maverick, while he's heading after him, what are you doing? Um, I'm first thought of like doing some mischief as well, but then I thought that I'm kind of worried about splitting up and I like try to like sneak in the same direction that like Kata went as well. Oh, so you're going to head away from the guys, um, that were at the bar. Okay. ah Well I'd say that you move up towards where what he's doing after you kind of think about it for a little bit and then you catch up to him just as you see him slapping horses on the ass and one guy chasing him and he kind of has his own little inner monologue so I say you probably show up just as you see him like make the decision to maybe like start you see him like looking off in the distance where that guy went it looks like he's getting ready to go that direction. Okay.
01:21:51
Speaker
ah Hey, I thought maybe it's better to stick together. Oh, geez scary man. Damn it. Sorry. Did you get those fellers horses scared away? And no, no quite yet. Oh, man. That was the whole point. I was splitting up. But it's awesome. She is fine. We get that guy that ran away there and then like going at the others. That's what I was thinking. I was, I had a whole, I was thinking about, I was trying to go maybe scare these fellers into leaving the group, but I thought I'd be, I'd be a lot of risks and we're trying to plan this all out just so, but I was kind of like, I thought scaring the horses up would get them all riled up, but they only sent one feller out. They're all lazing around still. So, but yeah, I was going to maybe go try and at least scare him and give him, have him give us some details, maybe get him to leave. So there's at least one less feller in the fight, but I guess, yeah, we'll go.
01:22:41
Speaker
Follow him, I guess both of us. You want to go after him? Or you want to stay back here and keep a... What? Let's go after him. All right, let's go. All right, so you guys are going to go after that guy. So you guys are heading out to that fella. Rin, you're up on the hill with your rifle drawn looking down over the town. Is there anything that you're doing? Anything that you're looking for? Anybody you're scoping out? What are you doing? Um, I'm going to say she just basically watches the boys' backs, making sure that there's no one coming up behind them or anything. So you're kind of watching through your through your little scope, ah watching the guys. um Sure. Do
Ambush and Explosion
01:23:29
Speaker
a quick little notice-y role for me just to see if you can keep track of of what they're doing. OK.
01:23:37
Speaker
Three, a three. He's a Benjamin. Yeah, you could use it. Of course you can. OK, but they're there for. I hardly ever use them. Yeah, go for it. ah Wow. Wow. Another crit fail. Damn. I swear you're rolling like I used to roll when I played Dungeons and Dragons. Like I could never roll of like a five in a fucking game. Oh my gosh. But I mean, yeah, you still see like you're able to track them easy enough, like for a few instances here and there, like, like cutter disappears, like behind a bush or behind a building or something. And like, you can see, um you know, for a brief moment, like cutter disappears behind like an alley and then comes back and regroup with Maverick.
01:24:24
Speaker
um And you can even see like just enough like off in the distance as they're kind of getting on the outskirts of town. Your scope power isn't quite as good. You can at least see like horses running off in the distance. So it looks like that's probably something that Cutter and Maverick are getting up to. So it looks like whatever plan they hatched is kind of working. So you you can still kind of keep track of roughly what they're doing. um But just you're not seeing a whole lot. um But you do ah you do hear the sound of a gun cocking right behind your head. Cool. What do you do?
01:25:05
Speaker
ah She's going to try to whip her legs around and like tackled them like use her legs to trip the person. OK, I will say this is going to be a difficult thing to do as you do have a gun press to your head. So if you fuck it up, if it's going to be difficult physically to do, um but also if you fuck it up, you're probably going to get hurt real bad. Are you willing to take that risk? Because this is going to come with some negatives to make it a harder feat for you to do. Because you are in a dangerous position. OK, so you're going to try to whip your legs around with a gun press to your head.
01:25:48
Speaker
OK. All right. So that's going to be at a minus two. And I am going to need you to roll. Let's call it. um Let's call it a straight agility roll. Straight up agility. See if you can move fast enough. Fuck. I got it. It's a five minus a two. Three. That's a three. Do you have any more pennies left? I have one. You want to use it? You might want to. Yep. I got an eleven. Yeah. Oh, my God. So you rolled an 11. You kind of whip your legs around.
01:26:25
Speaker
And you catch ah someone's legs and you kind of trip them to the ground as you kind of roll up. And then you see that you are standing face to face with two people that have your face and a guy ah who kind of like he has like a deck of cards like start to start flying everywhere on the ground. And he kind of stands up and points his gun at you as as you see two double barrel shotguns pointed at you from your twins. Then you hear Well, you're a lot faster than I thought you were. I'll give you that, young lady.
01:27:01
Speaker
What do you do? OK. So. She is going to take a puff of her joint that she had in the corner of her mouth. And she's going to go. Yeah, of course. And then she's going to take her tank and she is going to turn herself into berserk mode and take off running and tackle the guy and then shoot her tank with her cult peacemaker to make her tank blow up to self sacrifice herself to kill the guy.
01:27:53
Speaker
You're going to fucking try to kamikaze yourself. Yes, she has improvisational fighter. And so she is going to use herself as basically a bomb to kill the guy. Oh, my.
01:28:15
Speaker
OK. What does improvisational fighter do again? yeah I'll send it.
01:28:23
Speaker
Uh, improvisational fighter, a brawler with this edge has a knack for using an improvised weapons ignores the minus two penalty when wielding them. Okay. So you don't get any edge, any extra advances. There's just no penalties for that. Um, so you're going to, while shotguns are pointed at you, jump at him and then try to blow yourself up to kill him and hurt the people around you. Yes. All right. I have to ask, is is that your final answer? Because even if you don't fully blow yourself up, you will have no water tank and you will not be able to survive for long without it. Yes. OK, so, Rin, go ahead and roll for me.
01:29:10
Speaker
um
01:29:12
Speaker
Well, firstly, um just to make this more dramatic, these guys are definitely going to shoot you. She's aware that they are going to shoot at you. So at the moment you flinch and go after him and pull out your gun, like they're going to shoot at you, not to say that you won't succeed, but it's going to hurt either way. So. um So let's just see if these guys fuck it up or if you just catch them off guard when they shoot. Nope, that one didn't fuck it up. That one just got a regular one. Okey dokey.
01:29:49
Speaker
um Wow. Oh my God. isn Oh my God. she wants she they're I figured they're close enough to her that she pretty much is able to use herself as the bomb. And while they're shooting her, her tank is in berserk mode anyway. So no matter what, she's going to fucking blow up and die. Right. So I'm going to say that like so the the first one rolled twenty four damage plus their ace damage that aced again. So twenty four plus eleven. So they rolled thirty six thirty five damage to you. And then the other one of deja vu and then the other one rolled nineteen damage just on their base damage alone, which is a lot ah for your character to absorb with no bennies, although you do have a pretty high amount of armor, I think.
01:30:41
Speaker
Uh, or toughness. I have an 11. You have 11 and toughness, which that's still a lot above your toughness because it's only goes every four above. So it absorbs 11 plus four plus four plus. Yeah. So yeah, essentially you dive in towards him. Probably knowing they're going to shoot you, I would say that before you can pull your own gun, they blast. You could probably turn your tank towards the fire to absorb enough of the damage that you blow yourself up. um So why don't we have you roll? Oh, my God. um You know what? Why don't we just make it? What is the highest damaging thing that you have on your character?
01:31:28
Speaker
Uh. My rifle, pull it looks like. You ah roll your rifle damage 10 times. Okay. And then we'll just see what happens. Sixteen. Uh-huh. Thirteen. Thirteen. Sixteen. Seventeen. Why can't you roll this way on my other rolls you bastard? You're rolling so high. Oh, Jesus Christ. You fucking asshole roll 20. Okay. Where are we at? Four? Five.
01:32:03
Speaker
Five. So, yeah, keep going. Seven. Seven. Not too bad. Twelve. Eight. Eight. Fourteen. Fourteen. Thirty-six. Jesus. Fuck you, roll 28. If there's ever a time to get high, it's when you're sacrificing yourself. Get high. Win's always high. Okay, she's sacrificing herself to save her friends. So, in a turn of events that I wasn't prepared for, Rin gets caught off guard, sweeps the leg of Tommy Felix. Tommy Felix gets to his feet, points a gun with two other people that look exactly like Rin. Rin charges in, rage in her eyes and body.
01:32:50
Speaker
jumping into the fray, tackling Tommy Felix, shotgun blast, just riddling her body and her tank as he grabs ahold of her. The last thing you can hear is, and then just a massive explosion takes out the area. Cutter and Maverick, you can feel the ground shake from where you are. As you see a big fireball up on the hill where Rin was stationed. Holy hell, damn.
01:34:00
Speaker
but does it look good already
01:34:23
Speaker
Does it look good already?