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Examining Heritability
20 Plays1 year ago
Welcome back to our Podcast Host audition series!
This week, Savannah is joined by Laura to discuss heritability and why your choice of partner matters genetically.
Article on male infertility: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-tayside-central-50180235
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Transcript
Introduction to Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome to the Female Dating Strategy Podcast, the meanest female-only podcast on the internet.
00:00:06
Speaker
I am your host Savannah and today we are continuing with our guest series from women who have applied to be the new podcast hosts and today it's a bit of a British takeover slash invasion on a podcast that is primarily for an American audience and
00:00:26
Speaker
because today I am joined by Laura, who is also from the UK, so we don't have to deal with the crappy cables underneath the Atlantic causing a delay.
00:00:36
Speaker
I'm Zencaster.
00:00:38
Speaker
Welcome, Laura.
00:00:39
Speaker
Hello, Savannah.
00:00:42
Speaker
It's great to be here.
00:00:43
Speaker
Very excited.
00:00:44
Speaker
I hope this all goes well, but we shall see.
00:00:47
Speaker
We shall see.
00:00:48
Speaker
I mean, if you want me to introduce myself, basically, yep.
00:00:51
Speaker
Yes, please do.
Meet Laura and Her Interests
00:00:53
Speaker
Tell us about yourself and why you chose to apply to become a podcast host.
00:00:59
Speaker
First of all, I'm the kind of person that I don't intend to fully get involved in stuff and then I accidentally do.
00:01:05
Speaker
And I think it's about time that we have more hosts, really, because obviously we've had a wonderful dynamic with, let's say, you, Rowan, Lilith.
00:01:14
Speaker
I loved it.
00:01:15
Speaker
But obviously, as time goes on, people do move on and then you need someone to take over, really.
00:01:21
Speaker
I think the last podcast episode was back in September.
00:01:24
Speaker
Yeah, I think it just helps to have this...
00:01:27
Speaker
here for everybody because it's so it's good to listen to and sometimes we need the constant reminders to keep our standards because it's so easy to let all the noise and other people's opinions slowly push us back you know there's a lot of pushback against the strategy and also I mean with the topic we're discussing today which is a genetic heritability which is mostly from our fathers
00:01:51
Speaker
There are a few reasons why I've chosen this.
00:01:53
Speaker
Firstly, it's because there's a lot of onus on fertility stuff that focuses on women and blames us for everything.
00:02:00
Speaker
So I want to say, hey, let's look at this from a more realistic point of view.
00:02:03
Speaker
And based on my research, it also, guess what, blames men as well, because sometimes it
Importance of Partner Vetting
00:02:08
Speaker
is men's fault.
00:02:08
Speaker
It's not always our fault.
00:02:10
Speaker
And also, I've always had a slight interest in genetics anyway, because I've also looked into things like I like breeding animals.
00:02:18
Speaker
I have done since I was a kid, because I am
00:02:20
Speaker
One of those unusual people.
00:02:22
Speaker
And on top of that, I have this condition where, long story short, I have debated whether or not to go, let's say, down the sperm donor route.
00:02:31
Speaker
But I guess that's more of a personal thing that's not within the topic I have given you today.
00:02:36
Speaker
But it has, looking into that has informed my decision making process.
00:02:42
Speaker
That sounded so much more formal than I intended.
00:02:44
Speaker
No worries, no worries.
00:02:45
Speaker
I think it's that British flair.
00:02:48
Speaker
We just have to be formal, even though it's a very informal podcast.
00:02:52
Speaker
But thank you for that intro, Laura.
00:02:54
Speaker
And yeah, I'm really, really excited about this topic because I also say and I believe that all women should not only vet, assuming they want to get married and have children because not every woman wants that and that is absolutely fine.
00:03:07
Speaker
But assuming that a woman does, it's also important to not only vet your...
00:03:11
Speaker
partner as a spouse, but also what they will be like as a parent as well, as much as possible, especially if you want to have kids with them.
00:03:19
Speaker
So I'm really looking forward to learning about this topic, because when I was reading through the episode outline, I was like, I didn't know 90% of this stuff.
00:03:27
Speaker
So yeah.
00:03:29
Speaker
So Laura, tell us about the heritability, because I noticed that you said that we apparently get most of our genetic material from our dad.
00:03:39
Speaker
So
00:03:40
Speaker
Please unpack that for me because I had no idea that this was the case.
00:03:44
Speaker
Okay, so yeah, so one of the things FDS teaches us is that 50-50 is a lie.
00:03:50
Speaker
And it's also the case when it comes to genetics.
00:03:53
Speaker
Of course, we're always told new stuff all the time.
00:03:55
Speaker
But here's the thing.
00:03:57
Speaker
Basically, from many tens of millions of years ago, we shared most of our genetic makeup with, well, mice, basically.
00:04:04
Speaker
And what they found by studying mice is that in their offspring, 60% of the genetic material comes from the father.
00:04:12
Speaker
And they say that actually there might even be the case in humans as well.
00:04:17
Speaker
So what's annoying is you might think, oh, I've been told, for example, my friends went, well, it doesn't matter if you choose an ugly guy because you're cute.
00:04:25
Speaker
No, it does.
00:04:26
Speaker
It does.
00:04:27
Speaker
Sorry, it does.
00:04:29
Speaker
It does.
00:04:31
Speaker
And that in itself, the 60% heritability factor, obviously this is based on mice, so it can be inaccurate and things are always updating in the scientific journals.
00:04:41
Speaker
But if there is a chance your child inherits 60% from their father, you don't want to be choosing
Unconscious Biases in Attraction
00:04:48
Speaker
a guy that you don't like.
00:04:48
Speaker
So I'm quite particular about...
00:04:51
Speaker
Like, I don't like certain features, and other people have told me that's a weird comment.
00:04:56
Speaker
For example, I went, I don't like that guy's ears.
00:04:58
Speaker
And it might be something that people call you too fussy for, but seriously, if you are particular, if there is something on a guy you don't like, you are right.
00:05:08
Speaker
You can reject a man, as FDS says, for pretty much any reason, even if it seems petty, even if it seems small.
00:05:15
Speaker
I mean, but the entire point of like, you know, sexual selection is that it is selective by nature.
00:05:22
Speaker
I don't understand this whole idea that it should be like, I don't know, a diversity and inclusion agenda when it comes to personal relationships, when it just doesn't and cannot work that way.
00:05:36
Speaker
You know, not everybody is gonna be, you know, I guess equally as considered as somebody else.
00:05:41
Speaker
Is it fair?
00:05:42
Speaker
No, but life isn't fair.
00:05:44
Speaker
So this whole idea that,
00:05:46
Speaker
you know, you have to be open to absolutely everybody and anyone is just absolutely absurd to me, especially for a woman as well, because I do genuinely believe that women have a, they stand a lot more to lose if they were to lower their standards just for the sake of procreation.
00:06:02
Speaker
The thing is, some things do matter and you have preferences that you're not necessarily aware of.
00:06:07
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, revealed biases, implicit biases, yeah.
00:06:11
Speaker
Yeah, so there are some things that, you know how you meet someone, you have that chemistry that you can't put your finger on.
00:06:16
Speaker
And there have been times that I have met guys who would look like the kind of guy that you would want to pair me with.
00:06:22
Speaker
You're like, surely she'll fancy him.
00:06:24
Speaker
Oh, to the American listeners, basically fancy means like having a crush on or being attracted to.
00:06:29
Speaker
And there have been times where I've met a guy and it's been more like high five bros rather than any chemistry between us.
00:06:35
Speaker
And sometimes I'll actually find out weeks later that we kind of have the same underlying issue, but we didn't necessarily know it when we met.
00:06:43
Speaker
So that's a really fascinating thing that sometimes your body knows.
00:06:48
Speaker
Even like things like sense of smell, like I've, you know, come across like guys, they would smell really, really, really, really good to me, even if they hadn't used anything like deodorant, for example.
00:07:01
Speaker
They still wash, but they weren't like super into cologne, like I'm
00:07:04
Speaker
a perfume addict right and they still smelled really good to me and there have been other guys who are still really hygienic but they just don't smell good to me like for whatever reason and you know that's not to say that they were unhygienic because they weren't they you know showered and they cleaned themselves but it's just that you know my nose was just not agreeing with them for whatever reason
00:07:24
Speaker
Yeah, you like what you like and you don't like what you don't like.
00:07:27
Speaker
And it's all for a reason, whether you know it or not.
Height Bias and Societal Perceptions
00:07:30
Speaker
It might be even like an unconscious or a subconscious thing.
00:07:34
Speaker
I think the one important thing we should talk about first, because it's kind of the elephant in the room in terms of attraction, which is the height element, if you're happy to discuss that.
00:07:43
Speaker
I will admit, like when it comes to men, I am a complete heightist, like absolute.
00:07:49
Speaker
Yeah, sorry.
00:07:49
Speaker
Please continue, Laura.
00:07:51
Speaker
No, I'm interesting because I know many women who only really prefer tall men.
00:07:57
Speaker
And here's something that I find really interesting about me.
00:08:00
Speaker
Yes, I am one of those women.
00:08:02
Speaker
That's fair, yes.
00:08:03
Speaker
But that's because obviously the positives of a taller man are things like that they tend to live longer.
00:08:09
Speaker
They're less likely to have cardiac issues.
00:08:12
Speaker
Oh, sorry, no, the short men live longer.
00:08:14
Speaker
I'm trying to remember the difference that I wrote down.
00:08:16
Speaker
It's always hard to remember.
00:08:18
Speaker
But yeah, basically, that's it.
00:08:20
Speaker
So the tall men obviously will have more dating options.
00:08:24
Speaker
So that matters, let's say, if you have a son and you want a taller son.
00:08:27
Speaker
that tall men have a reduced risk of heart disease and high cholesterol, but they're more prone to cancer.
00:08:33
Speaker
So the reason you might like one or the other or both, it might depend upon
00:08:39
Speaker
genetic trade-offs so for me I like tall and short men which really does fascinate me other women like he has to be tall but like one thing I love to tell people many years ago I was dating a guy who was six foot two but I had a crush on a guy who was five foot seven now of course I'm a small woman so technically I can pretty much date anyone on the scale of things
00:09:03
Speaker
Yeah, see, I'm a bit taller.
00:09:04
Speaker
I'm about five foot eight.
00:09:06
Speaker
So the five foot, it's just not going to work.
00:09:09
Speaker
Like you have to be five foot nine and above.
00:09:11
Speaker
And I think it's really interesting what you said about the differences in health.
00:09:14
Speaker
Because again, I had no idea that actually taller men have pros and cons to being taller.
00:09:19
Speaker
But I think there was a chat in the Discord as well is that with taller men, you can do more stuff with them.
00:09:27
Speaker
If you see what I mean, because they've got longer limbs.
00:09:30
Speaker
Yeah.
00:09:31
Speaker
generally.
00:09:32
Speaker
But yeah, that was just cheeky aside, as we say.
00:09:36
Speaker
But I mean, I found those differences in health markers to be quite interesting.
00:09:40
Speaker
And also as well, you've also got that societal perspective as well.
00:09:44
Speaker
Like there's been studies where, you know, taller men, they earn more money over their lifetime, even when factors such as weight and race are controlled for.
00:09:53
Speaker
Taller the man is, the more money he's likely to earn throughout his lifetime as well.
00:09:57
Speaker
So that's also
00:09:59
Speaker
It's not just, I guess, a genetic thing as well.
00:10:01
Speaker
It's also a societal thing in how we perceive, you know, men who are tall.
00:10:06
Speaker
I have observed that in everyday life, that sometimes the taller men, people see them more.
00:10:10
Speaker
And therefore, it's almost like, it's a bit like the halo effect, where when people say an attractive person, you assume they're also kind and all these other positive attributes.
00:10:19
Speaker
Yeah, you assume they're the leader, right?
00:10:21
Speaker
If you see like a tool.
00:10:22
Speaker
Yeah, you assume he's a boss, he's a leader, he knows what he's doing, he's intelligent.
Genetic Risks and Historical Decisions
00:10:27
Speaker
I mean, not necessarily, but sometimes just those assumptions, it doesn't really matter who they really are, their character and everything, because sometimes you only have to go by
00:10:38
Speaker
a very brief short impression again with me i function a little bit differently so i don't mind tall or short are you cute like that's kind of i seem to like more i'm more interested in the face than i am in the height but i think again it's a preference thing pros and cons again because as i said so basically like the tall men more options
00:10:59
Speaker
The heart disease and high cholesterol, they tend not to have that as often as the short men, which does align with my family history because there are a few short people in my family and some of us are predisposed to high cholesterol.
00:11:11
Speaker
So I can see why sometimes I might like the taller guy for that.
00:11:16
Speaker
However, I haven't written this for you, but there's things called an outcross line breeding and inbreeding.
00:11:22
Speaker
Obviously inbreeding, bad.
00:11:23
Speaker
Yeah.
00:11:25
Speaker
Yes, I know.
00:11:26
Speaker
With an outcross, you have two genetically different people coming together.
00:11:31
Speaker
So basically, for example, a tall man with me would be an outcross.
00:11:34
Speaker
So for example, I don't have, according to my genetic data that I've looked into, touch wood, I don't have the cancer genes, right?
00:11:43
Speaker
But tall men are more likely to have the cancer genes, but less likely to have the heart disease problem.
00:11:48
Speaker
So I might choose a tall man so that we can try and both...
00:11:52
Speaker
decrease our odds of having cancer and heart disease.
00:11:55
Speaker
On the other hand, with an outcross, you can get the best of both, the worst of both.
00:12:00
Speaker
Is this basically what they mean by survival of the fittest then?
00:12:03
Speaker
Like when people, different people over time like procreated, I mean, ancestors obviously didn't, or maybe didn't have the perhaps academic knowledge to know why they were selecting certain partners to mate with and why they weren't selecting others.
00:12:20
Speaker
But is that part of the, I guess, survival of the fittest race in quotation marks where
00:12:24
Speaker
you know subconsciously choose mating partners who will overcome different barriers such as you know heart disease or cancer or it can be that but here's where it gets annoying and complicated there is no one size fits all because let's say i could choose the tall guy and the child could be incredibly healthy and better than both of us hypothetically or on the dark side
00:12:51
Speaker
the kid, if we're really unlucky, could end up with both heart issues and cancer.
00:12:55
Speaker
So again, so you have the risk with the outcrosses, you could end up with better genes, about the same, you know, inheriting more from one parent than the other, or worse, even worse still, the worst of both.
00:13:06
Speaker
And then you have what we call line breeding, which again, this is more related to animals, of course, where what you do is, so let's say that would be me choosing a short guy.
00:13:16
Speaker
So line breeding is where you're trying to double up on the good genes you already have.
00:13:22
Speaker
So,
Genetic Screening and Parenthood
00:13:23
Speaker
for example, I have 23andMe and I have it where it says, for example, long story short, I'm intelligent basically and I don't have addiction problems.
00:13:32
Speaker
And, of course, as I said, no cancer.
00:13:34
Speaker
I might choose a short guy who has those things in common so that basically it's more likely the kids are solidly going to be fine on that front.
00:13:41
Speaker
However, because he's short, they are possibly more likely...
00:13:45
Speaker
to have the heart issues so again you are always taking genetic risk no matter who you choose that's really interesting so you know when you mentioned that if you were to find your short king and you were to have children would the risk of was it the heart problems would that risk come from the man or would it come from you or from both of you
00:14:07
Speaker
Well, I mean, in my particular case, mine's highly unusual.
00:14:11
Speaker
It's a 50-50 chance of inheriting it is what they've said, but obviously this is specialist and it's highly uncommon.
00:14:18
Speaker
It's actually come from my mother in this case, but that's the thing is I don't want to choose someone else who has the same problem or else this is horrendous.
00:14:27
Speaker
If I choose the wrong man, this is how intense this is.
00:14:29
Speaker
I'm not exaggerating.
00:14:31
Speaker
If I choose the wrong father...
00:14:34
Speaker
My children will die before they reach adolescence.
00:14:38
Speaker
You sound very sure of that.
00:14:40
Speaker
I'm very sure of that because I've, yeah, I've looked into it.
00:14:44
Speaker
But it has to be the same highly uncommon particular genetic flaw.
00:14:49
Speaker
So I would have to be extremely unlucky to choose someone who has the same problems.
00:14:54
Speaker
But again, you see that there's kind of a hint of fear there.
00:14:58
Speaker
But now I wonder, is that the reason why I'm actually attracted to so few men?
00:15:02
Speaker
Because the two things that kill people the most, heart disease and cancer.
00:15:07
Speaker
Yeah, that's true.
00:15:08
Speaker
Oh, wow.
00:15:09
Speaker
This topic is so interesting.
00:15:10
Speaker
I'm not really a science-y sort of person, but understanding, I guess, the complexities of actually selecting a partner, because I almost feel like it's just something people just never think about ever.
00:15:24
Speaker
I remember when my siblings and I were born because sickle cell is quite common in people of African descent.
00:15:31
Speaker
It's not common, but it's a known genetic disease within black communities where basically I think it's your blood cells don't function properly.
00:15:42
Speaker
So that can lead to breathing problems and eventually death if it's really severe.
00:15:46
Speaker
And we were all basically genetically screened at birth.
Challenges with Sperm Donors
00:15:50
Speaker
And then the doctor said,
00:15:52
Speaker
to my dad that you know yeah your children could basically marry anyone because if that the way the gene is passed down I don't have the specifics to hand but basically if you have sickle cell and you have to be very careful like who you marry or if you have the gene for sickle cell you have to be very careful about who you marry because if you marry the wrong person then your kids will have sickle cell
00:16:16
Speaker
And then you would feel guilty as a parent that you basically chose poorly.
00:16:20
Speaker
It sounds bad.
00:16:20
Speaker
But so like one of my issues was, so with this condition, every so often I say a specialist, I'm not exaggerating.
00:16:26
Speaker
Every time I see him, are you going to have kids yet?
00:16:29
Speaker
How about now?
00:16:29
Speaker
How about now?
00:16:31
Speaker
What a weirdo.
00:16:33
Speaker
Yes, I know.
00:16:33
Speaker
But remember, in the medical community for some of them, they're looking at me on a piece of paper and they're like, are you having kids yet?
00:16:40
Speaker
You know, because it's my one purpose.
00:16:42
Speaker
Were they seeing you as some sort of science experiment?
00:16:45
Speaker
I am a science experiment every day.
00:16:47
Speaker
Yeah.
00:16:48
Speaker
And it's like, are you playing on show?
00:16:50
Speaker
And I'm like, well, I'd like to someday.
00:16:51
Speaker
It's like, OK, can you get on it sooner rather than later?
00:16:53
Speaker
Because basically I have a cholesterol problem.
00:16:55
Speaker
And they say every year my cholesterol will slowly kind of increase like naturally.
00:17:01
Speaker
So they're telling me the risks with me having children increase the older I get.
00:17:05
Speaker
So basically I started having a little bit of freak out about nearly a year ago.
00:17:09
Speaker
So this is when I looked into sperm donors.
00:17:12
Speaker
And being a super nerd and obsessive, I thought, let's look into this very... And I looked at it very thoroughly.
00:17:19
Speaker
And the problem I found with so many donors was if I looked into them enough, they either, because of my stupid cholesterol thing...
00:17:28
Speaker
They basically had each one either had a history of heart disease in their family or even themselves or a history of like being depressive or mentally unstable, mentally ill, you name it.
00:17:40
Speaker
And I was like, actually, because of my particular issue, I can't afford to try any of these men.
00:17:46
Speaker
And I'm definitely not choosing a depressive guy.
00:17:47
Speaker
I'm not having that either.
00:17:48
Speaker
So I did not see one great donor.
00:17:51
Speaker
And I was like, oh, my God.
00:17:53
Speaker
And especially since that route is so expensive, like, because I've, you know, part of, you know, we've covered, you know, men who are sperm donors before in bonus, you know, episodes.
00:18:04
Speaker
And it does seem like it's a bit like hit and miss, maybe not genetically, but in terms of some of their motivation.
00:18:09
Speaker
I think some men do genuinely sexually get off on the idea of a woman carrying their seed, so to speak, in quotation marks.
00:18:16
Speaker
Anyways, an aside.
00:18:17
Speaker
But it also makes sense now why there are such, they can be quite strict about who can be an egg donor and who can be a sperm donor as well.
00:18:26
Speaker
And I know that many short men, well, not many short men, but short men on Reddit have cried discrimination because sperm banks don't want their sperm because they're short.
00:18:37
Speaker
But that's life.
00:18:38
Speaker
Everyone, we all get discriminated against, no matter what.
00:18:41
Speaker
I mean, I see it's one of the few ways in life that you're allowed to discriminate is who you choose as your partner.
00:18:48
Speaker
If your standard is that you only want to date men who were born on a Tuesday at 12.36pm and was from his mother's womb untimely ripped, i.e.
00:18:57
Speaker
born by cesarean section, that is entirely all right.
00:19:01
Speaker
I mean, for some reason, and I don't really know when, but people started to equate sexual discrimination.
00:19:06
Speaker
I mean, I'm not talking about, you know, discrimination based on sex, I'm talking about, like, you know, sexual selection.
00:19:11
Speaker
They tried to equate it with other forms of discrimination, like employment discrimination or gender discrimination or whatever.
00:19:17
Speaker
And they are not the same thing because ultimately to be in a relationship with another person, to have sex with somebody else, you need the consent, fully informed consent of another person.
00:19:28
Speaker
You can't really legislate that without infringing on people's rights or women's rights because it'll be us who'll be forced to break.
00:19:36
Speaker
A lot of things are temporary as well.
00:19:38
Speaker
So basically a job, you might be there for a couple of years and leave.
00:19:43
Speaker
And the racial discrimination that can affect you in terms of, well, again, you need to be able to make money to just survive.
00:19:49
Speaker
You don't need sex to survive.
00:19:51
Speaker
And also like a partner may not be temporary.
00:19:54
Speaker
They might be lifelong.
00:19:56
Speaker
So yes, it does matter who they choose because again, we're looking at our potential children.
00:20:00
Speaker
I'm not just thinking about me.
00:20:03
Speaker
I have to think about my kids, then my kids' kids, their kids.
Selecting Partners to Avoid Consequences
00:20:07
Speaker
You know, I'm planning for years and generations ahead.
00:20:10
Speaker
And that's how important this decision is.
00:20:12
Speaker
Whereas a job is like a few years and then it's over.
00:20:15
Speaker
Like anyone you sleep with, there's a chance they could get you pregnant.
00:20:18
Speaker
So I always see it as if I would be upset if he was the father, then I shouldn't sleep with him.
00:20:24
Speaker
Because there's always the tiniest chance you might have an accident.
00:20:27
Speaker
That's a good metric, just a general metric to go by, I think, when it comes to sex.
00:20:32
Speaker
And even if you live in a place where abortion is relatively easily accessible, like the UK, a lot can change, you know, between you being, I guess, like pregnant and you, you know, maybe you decide abortion isn't for you, but do you really want to be stuck with, you know, a scrote with inferior genetics?
00:20:53
Speaker
Yeah.
00:20:53
Speaker
And the other thing is abortions aren't always, they're not the easiest thing either.
00:20:59
Speaker
So, I mean, you might have complications, any sort of surgeries or anything, like you might have some nasty complications or side effects from taking, let's say, or from any kind of abortion stuff.
00:21:10
Speaker
Like it's not literally just boom, you're done.
00:21:12
Speaker
Some of these things require a long recovery.
00:21:15
Speaker
That's true.
00:21:16
Speaker
And just, you know, being pro-choice generally, it's also, it isn't just about the right to have an abortion.
00:21:21
Speaker
It's also giving women the right to become parents if that's what they want to do.
00:21:26
Speaker
I mean, it could sound really like super methodical and very nerdy.
00:21:30
Speaker
Well, obviously you've seen what I've written.
00:21:32
Speaker
It's super nerdy.
00:21:34
Speaker
So at any point, if it's too heavy or too intense, please just tell me off or interrupt me and be fun.
00:21:39
Speaker
Yeah, tell us more.
00:21:40
Speaker
Tell us more.
00:21:41
Speaker
All right.
00:21:42
Speaker
Okay.
00:21:42
Speaker
So I've already said about the 60-40 split where you might even inherit as much as 60% of your genes from your father.
00:21:49
Speaker
So you might be thinking, well, some genes are related more to, some things come more from your mom, some things come more from your dad.
00:21:56
Speaker
Help us out here, right?
00:21:58
Speaker
So obviously this is more towards the 50-50 split, but I want to start really with mostly with age.
00:22:05
Speaker
So one thing that people always focus on a lot is let's say your age and the dad's age.
00:22:10
Speaker
What people don't always realise is it's not just the two of you.
00:22:15
Speaker
The impact really comes more so from, let's see, if we do you and him, his parents and your parents, that's six people who are responsible for...
00:22:25
Speaker
for the outcome of one individual.
00:22:27
Speaker
So we're not just talking about your age and the father's age.
00:22:31
Speaker
We're also talking about the age of your parents and his parents.
00:22:37
Speaker
So your age, his age, your parents' age and his parents' age impact upon the health of your unborn people.
00:22:44
Speaker
So like my example is about how my paternal grandfather, he would have been about 44, my dad's not 100% sure, but about 44 or 45 when my dad was conceived.
00:22:54
Speaker
So we're talking before I'm even born, that's already had an impact on the trajectory of my potential future health.
00:23:04
Speaker
in the fact that my dad being born to an older father would have a negative impact potentially on me.
00:23:10
Speaker
So, you know, we're looking back into like what the 1960s impacts today.
00:23:17
Speaker
It might all sound intense and dramatic, but this is literally the information we have at hand.
00:23:24
Speaker
is that it's not such a short-term thing.
00:23:27
Speaker
We're talking about epigenetics, which are where basically environmental factors and things that your parents do have an impact on you, but so do your
Impact of Ancestral Decisions
00:23:35
Speaker
grandparents.
00:23:35
Speaker
And the thing is, every year that we get older, we're more likely to have mutations.
00:23:41
Speaker
So basically, my grandfather, as he got older, more mutations.
00:23:45
Speaker
My dad, same sort of thing.
00:23:46
Speaker
And therefore, I'm more likely to have more mutations.
00:23:49
Speaker
So in a way, you've already got...
00:23:51
Speaker
a preset thing before you're even born and you're probably thinking oh god well let's say if you're i mean i don't know uh savannah how old were your parents and your grandparents i mean as in like when they had me when you were conceived we're not even talking about when you're born we're talking about when you like when i was conceived so my mom would have been 30 my dad would have been 37 so my dad was older
00:24:18
Speaker
Now, this is the real challenge.
00:24:19
Speaker
What about your grandparents, all the four of them?
00:24:24
Speaker
So the two on each side, if you know, of course, or generally.
00:24:29
Speaker
Generally, maybe they would have been, I want to say early 30s.
00:24:33
Speaker
Thing is, in Nigeria, they didn't really keep accurate birth records.
00:24:36
Speaker
So I'm just going to say they were about 30 when they had my parents or maybe 20.
00:24:40
Speaker
Between 20 and 30, all of them.
00:24:43
Speaker
Yeah, so relatively on the young side.
00:24:45
Speaker
Yeah, they were relatively young.
00:24:47
Speaker
Yeah.
00:24:48
Speaker
Yeah, so I'd say maybe your dad being 37 could have a slight negative impact, but if you look at your numbers versus mine, you should hypothetically be genetically better than me.
00:24:59
Speaker
I know that sounds odd, but if we're literally looking at age...
00:25:03
Speaker
If we're basically being ageist.
00:25:05
Speaker
I mean, I think the ages were fine on my mum's side.
00:25:08
Speaker
But my mum was about, I think she was just shy of 34.
00:25:11
Speaker
Yeah, she was about 33 and I think dad was 31.
00:25:14
Speaker
So for my general age, that sounds good.
00:25:18
Speaker
But because my dad's dad had him so old, not so good.
00:25:22
Speaker
Because he was one of those older dads.
00:25:24
Speaker
I mean, I know that's only one person.
00:25:26
Speaker
But just one of them can create a bit of an issue with me.
00:25:30
Speaker
Well...
00:25:31
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, a lot can, I guess, go wrong as you get older.
00:25:36
Speaker
Like, the biggest example I can think of where, like, having an older father was just an absolute disaster, not just for the family, but just general world history, is Queen Victoria's dad.
00:25:49
Speaker
So she was born when he was 52 years old.
00:25:52
Speaker
This is back in 18, I want to say 1818.
00:25:54
Speaker
So even by that age,
00:25:57
Speaker
That was really old.
00:25:58
Speaker
Like most people didn't live anywhere near that long.
00:26:01
Speaker
So she was born when he was 52.
00:26:04
Speaker
And it's believed that she then developed the gene for haemophilia, which then it basically spread throughout the royal houses of Europe because they inbred and they married each other.
00:26:18
Speaker
And it was a contributing factor to things like the Russian Revolution and the, I guess, the ushering in of communism.
00:26:25
Speaker
So that one had massive, massive impact.
00:26:29
Speaker
And it's not really known how Queen Victoria came to acquire haemophilia, but it was known that her dad didn't have haemophilia because he would have been dead by the time he was 20.
00:26:41
Speaker
So it's believed that it was a spontaneous mutation when she was conceived.
00:26:46
Speaker
These things can happen.
00:26:47
Speaker
We have, you know, the epigenetic things and we have the mutations.
00:26:52
Speaker
So I may not know a lot about haemophilia, but my personal research, which I went into, of course, you have read this, the thing about where people think, oh, by 35, you should be fine.
00:27:03
Speaker
So you might think, oh, yeah, well, 52, of course, who's going to have a child with a problem?
00:27:07
Speaker
But even when we're under 35, there can still be an issue.
00:27:11
Speaker
So one of the biggest things that I really wanted to tell people, which men may not like.
00:27:18
Speaker
Who cares?
00:27:19
Speaker
Who cares?
00:27:20
Speaker
Oh, yeah, that's a fair point.
00:27:22
Speaker
Why do I care?
00:27:24
Speaker
Because I don't.
00:27:26
Speaker
Okay.
00:27:27
Speaker
All right.
00:27:28
Speaker
Cover your ears if you're a man, because I know you'll get all upset.
00:27:32
Speaker
The ideal age, if you are looking for the father of your children, if you really want the optimum, absolute perfect age, is a man between the ages of 25 and 30.
00:27:45
Speaker
Five years?
00:27:46
Speaker
Yes.
00:27:47
Speaker
Did you hear that right?
00:27:48
Speaker
Yes.
00:27:49
Speaker
25 to 30.
00:27:51
Speaker
And here's why.
00:27:52
Speaker
From as young as literally age 30, particularly in fathers, so we're not saying mums, we're saying fathers,
00:27:59
Speaker
The likelihood of conceiving autistic progeny is 1.6 times more than men under 30.
00:28:06
Speaker
So literally by the time you've turned 30 and you conceive a kid, you've already increased the chances of having autistic children.
00:28:13
Speaker
And that's the thing is people say about, oh, there's more instances of autism.
00:28:17
Speaker
And I do think some people are being diagnosed more often.
00:28:20
Speaker
But I also think that we might be having more incidences of it because people have a bit of the Peter Pan syndrome.
00:28:26
Speaker
and men just say to themselves, it doesn't matter, I'll wait till I'm a bit older, who cares?
00:28:32
Speaker
Looking at this, it does matter.
00:28:34
Speaker
And then it gets worse.
00:28:36
Speaker
If men are in their 40s, their children are six times more likely to turn out to be autistic.
00:28:41
Speaker
So, I mean, you're all, not guaranteeing, but you're pretty much, you're already having it skew more towards having children with disabilities, pretty much.
00:28:50
Speaker
So...
00:28:51
Speaker
If the father of your child is over 30 at the date of conception, your child will, it's not just autism, right?
00:28:58
Speaker
Your child will also have an increased risk of mental disorders like bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, depression, and even intellectual disabilities.
00:29:06
Speaker
If there's a predisposition in your family towards these issues already,
00:29:10
Speaker
You don't really want to encourage that further, let's say, by going, all right, I'm going to choose this older guy.
00:29:17
Speaker
So there are many people in my life who have said, well, why don't you choose an older guy who's ready to settle down?
00:29:23
Speaker
I've looked at the stats.
00:29:24
Speaker
I've looked at the numbers.
00:29:25
Speaker
Do I hate my kids?
00:29:26
Speaker
No.
00:29:27
Speaker
Sorry, but it's like, do I want to pretty much guarantee one of these problems?
00:29:38
Speaker
It sounds really dreadful.
00:29:40
Speaker
But you know what?
00:29:41
Speaker
I'm like, would a man in his 20s choose a woman in her 40s?
00:29:45
Speaker
Most of the time, no.
00:29:47
Speaker
On rare occasion, yeah, like Sienna Miller, because I think she's got a 27-year-old and he's looking, oh, he's fine.
00:29:54
Speaker
But she's a good looking lady, so it's all good.
00:29:57
Speaker
But most of the time, if you ask a man who's in his 20s, do you want to date a woman in her 20s, her 30s or her 40s?
00:30:03
Speaker
Most of the time, he's probably going to choose a woman who's in her 20s.
00:30:06
Speaker
So why are people trying to push me to go for men in their late 30s, early 40s?
00:30:12
Speaker
I'm not at a point where I need to.
00:30:14
Speaker
It's also about managing your own risk as well.
00:30:16
Speaker
And again, it's just about that, you know, knowing that you can and you should be very selective, especially if you are planning on having kids with a guy, like, because if we look at it from a social level as well, most likely going to be, you know, you'll be the one staying at home with the child, you'll be the one, you know, doing majority of the child rearing as well.
00:30:37
Speaker
It also makes sense from a social standpoint to give yourself the best possible chance, because if there was some sort of, I guess, defect in any way, it will usually be down to the mother to primarily manage it.
00:30:50
Speaker
Yeah, so let's say I have a disabled child and let's say part, obviously some of that could be my fault as well.
00:30:55
Speaker
But let's say part of it is technically his genetic contribution.
00:31:00
Speaker
The thing is, if I have a disabled child, a lot of times people pretty much kind of blame the mum for that being the case.
00:31:06
Speaker
And also, again, you have to manage it.
00:31:08
Speaker
You're the one who has to deal with it day in, day out.
Challenges of Finding Partners in the UK
00:31:11
Speaker
And I have come across people who have, not very many of course, but a couple of people with quite children with special needs, let's say.
00:31:19
Speaker
And it's pretty much the mother is always exhausted.
00:31:22
Speaker
They don't get to go out very often.
00:31:25
Speaker
And it's like these other kids at the same age are further ahead than my child.
00:31:29
Speaker
As the child ages, the disparity between them and their peers is
00:31:33
Speaker
increases, like this large gap.
00:31:37
Speaker
And again, parents feel guilty when they have a disabled child because they feel responsible for having had them.
00:31:43
Speaker
So again, as I said, intense and heavy, but it's things that
00:31:47
Speaker
parents do think about.
00:31:49
Speaker
So I think I'm at a pivotal age where I'm supposed to really kind of annoyingly, I look at the numbers, I look at the facts and it tells me you got to pick a man now, you know, and I'm thinking it's really hard because I've been trying and honestly, I'm not impressed.
00:32:06
Speaker
I mean, you live in the UK.
00:32:08
Speaker
I mean, let's just stop the bus here for one second, because we need to talk about situational asexuality.
00:32:16
Speaker
And we could probably do a whole episode on this, actually, a separate episode on this with Roe, but it is particularly apparent in the UK that
00:32:24
Speaker
I'm not sure if our American followers have seen British men.
00:32:27
Speaker
I know a lot of them are swayed by the accent, but I'm not really feeling it personally.
00:32:32
Speaker
I just feel like, I don't know, I feel like I'm asexual when I'm in like, I don't know, parts of England.
00:32:38
Speaker
And then like when I'm not in those parts of England, that's when I remember that I'm actually heterosexual.
00:32:43
Speaker
I know what you mean.
00:32:43
Speaker
Yeah.
00:32:45
Speaker
you get it oh yeah i mean let's put it this way i'm on dating apps oh my god i know i quit them and now i'm trying again because i'm literally like uh i know and i'm literally looking at some of these men you know when you can just feel your ovaries just shriveling up and dying like that's what i felt like yes you know exactly where i'm going with this
00:33:07
Speaker
When I was on the dating apps, I just literally felt like my ovaries were literally withering away.
00:33:13
Speaker
But then when I hopped across the pond to our European friends, my ovaries just came back.
00:33:21
Speaker
And they were like, woo, I'm here.
00:33:23
Speaker
Yeah, basically, I've tried going abroad, not like a passport bros.
00:33:27
Speaker
I'm starting to feel... I was going to say... I'm feeling like a passport bro.
00:33:30
Speaker
No, no, you're a passport sis.
00:33:32
Speaker
Sorry, I didn't catch that.
00:33:34
Speaker
What's this new phrase?
00:33:35
Speaker
A passport sis.
00:33:37
Speaker
Is it a passport sis?
00:33:38
Speaker
A passport sis?
00:33:51
Speaker
I'm sorry, but I'm trying.
00:33:52
Speaker
If you're looking, I'll find a man relatively locally, that would be nice.
00:33:56
Speaker
I sort of, obviously the Passport Bro movie, that's another hellscape.
00:34:00
Speaker
But I think as women, especially in England, it's just such, such, such slim pickings in terms of men that A, you're attracted to, B, has the genetic capabilities to give you a healthy child or whatever.
00:34:13
Speaker
And then it's like you have to actually get on as people and you have to not be a skrote.
00:34:17
Speaker
That is a tall order in England, so...
00:34:20
Speaker
It's so bad.
00:34:21
Speaker
I mean, like, one of my examples is from the date naps, right?
00:34:24
Speaker
If, let's say, we're looking at the genetic thing, granted I can't tell if I'm attracted to somebody through a photo, but I can definitely tell you that if I don't like you, and the amount of guys who I'm sorry, but, like, I'm in decent shape.
00:34:37
Speaker
Don't apologise.
00:34:38
Speaker
Oh, if you see them, you'll... Oh, my God.
00:34:40
Speaker
What's the most polite way of putting this?
00:34:42
Speaker
Some of these men... My dad is over 60, right?
00:34:46
Speaker
Some of these men are 30 and in worse condition than my dad.
00:34:51
Speaker
Yeah, I couldn't believe that.
00:34:52
Speaker
That should not be the case.
00:34:54
Speaker
Like, you shouldn't have already let yourself go before you found a partner.
00:34:59
Speaker
You know, it's like sometimes I kind of say, you know what, I wouldn't mind if he starts like kind of, you know, going a little downhill once we're already married, done the wedding photos and all that.
00:35:07
Speaker
And oh, well, at least he was cute once.
00:35:09
Speaker
But like, Laura, when you've already gone downhill, like, you know, where else can you go downhill to except to hell?
00:35:16
Speaker
Exactly.
00:35:17
Speaker
I don't know.
00:35:17
Speaker
Maybe I was just, I think it's also the lifestyle that we lead in the UK.
00:35:21
Speaker
It's just really.
00:35:22
Speaker
It's not good.
00:35:23
Speaker
It's not
Genetic Predispositions and Parenting
00:35:24
Speaker
good.
00:35:24
Speaker
Like we have a strong drinking culture where, you know, it's almost like fashionable.
00:35:29
Speaker
Like people bond over drinking the beer bellies, the fried breakfast, which is, I will say sometimes it's like worth the clogged arteries, especially after a hangover.
00:35:39
Speaker
And we just don't really get much sun either.
00:35:42
Speaker
We don't.
00:35:43
Speaker
So we're quite pale and washed out.
00:35:44
Speaker
And yeah, I mean, I'm a bit pale at the moment.
00:35:48
Speaker
no one cares about that but i mean like we're looking at some of these men i'm even swiping 25 to 30 the perfect age range i'm like wow some of you guys have i mean we talk about women hitting the wall of 30 oh oh no no no the men are talking about themselves some men just never get started then there's some men just never get started there's not even a wall to hit they just don't even start so non-starter
00:36:12
Speaker
Oh, literally, like some of these men, I'm like, so many of them are already balding.
00:36:16
Speaker
I know that's not technically their fault because, again, that tends to be inherited differently.
00:36:20
Speaker
Yeah, isn't that like genetics?
00:36:22
Speaker
But even if it is, like one of my male friends, and he said it's a special hair growth formula, and he's used that to fill out his patches, and that's worked really well on him.
00:36:33
Speaker
I'm like, well, if you can discover that, that means that men can find a way.
00:36:37
Speaker
They just don't want to.
00:36:38
Speaker
Or they just want to wear hats, and then they hope you don't notice that they're bald.
00:36:41
Speaker
Hat fishing, it's everywhere.
00:36:44
Speaker
And then again, as you say, the beer bellies.
00:36:46
Speaker
Like, guys, we know.
00:36:47
Speaker
We know if you have a beer belly, you have bigger boobs than me.
00:36:51
Speaker
Like, it's boobs and belly.
00:36:52
Speaker
Like, it's in the centre.
00:36:54
Speaker
It's that dangerous fat as well, because, like, women... It's white fat, not brown fat.
00:36:59
Speaker
The bad stuff, yep.
00:37:00
Speaker
Yes, yeah.
00:37:01
Speaker
It tends to be the visceral fat that's actually, like, really dangerous.
00:37:05
Speaker
Surrounding the organs, yep.
00:37:06
Speaker
Because you've got brown fat, which is the good stuff.
00:37:09
Speaker
And then you've got white fat, which is the bad stuff.
00:37:11
Speaker
A bit like brown bread, white bread.
00:37:12
Speaker
And the white fat is all surrounded around the organs.
00:37:15
Speaker
So basically you don't really want someone who's just big in the middle.
00:37:19
Speaker
So again, though, that's the alcoholism.
00:37:21
Speaker
And that's in a way that addiction is somewhat genetic.
00:37:24
Speaker
So like my 23andMe, I'm not really surprised, says I'm not prone to addiction.
00:37:29
Speaker
But obviously I can see so many guys are.
00:37:33
Speaker
And alcoholism is one of the most accepted widespread addictions that you can have in a way because it's made to be socially acceptable.
00:37:41
Speaker
And realistically, I feel the same way about vaping.
00:37:44
Speaker
And it's frustrating that vaping has overtaken smoking and it's seen as a healthier option when it really isn't.
00:37:50
Speaker
And that can epigenetically impact your lung function.
00:37:53
Speaker
And again, so I have been kind of seen as a bit mean and dismissive that, oh, you don't want this guy who's trying to quit smoking.
00:37:59
Speaker
I'm like, I'm sorry, but every guy I've ever met who smokes is not trying to quit.
00:38:06
Speaker
If anything, I've had them try and hide it from me.
00:38:08
Speaker
That's not the same thing.
00:38:10
Speaker
Or tell me that they're a social smoker.
00:38:12
Speaker
Again, not really related to age, but that can have the impact on your children.
00:38:16
Speaker
Yeah, social smoking, that's a no.
00:38:18
Speaker
That's just like saying, like, I socially watch porn.
00:38:21
Speaker
That's not a thing.
00:38:22
Speaker
Like, you either watch it or you don't.
00:38:24
Speaker
Yes, that's a really perfect comparison.
00:38:26
Speaker
Like, oh, it's only every so often, and they're like, not really.
00:38:31
Speaker
I only watch it with friends.
00:38:34
Speaker
I did actually, as an aside, I did actually know a female friend in uni.
00:38:38
Speaker
She had like a circle of friends, like both like male and female.
00:38:43
Speaker
And they would like gather together in our flat kitchen just to watch like really fucked up porn.
00:38:49
Speaker
It wasn't like a sexual thing.
00:38:50
Speaker
It was just more like a curiosity thing.
00:38:52
Speaker
But yes, I guess socially watching porn might be a thing, but I wouldn't believe it if a skirt told me that.
00:38:58
Speaker
So yeah.
00:39:01
Speaker
Yeah, I wouldn't really.
00:39:02
Speaker
I'd take you with a pinch of salt.
00:39:03
Speaker
I mean, again, it's genetic to have a predisposition towards not just addiction, but also novelty.
00:39:09
Speaker
Yeah, I've heard addiction can be genetic as well.
00:39:12
Speaker
When I was doing my MSc in psychology, that some people just have addictive personalities.
00:39:17
Speaker
Obviously, the environment can also play a big role, but there's apparently a genetic element to that as well, which I found interesting.
00:39:26
Speaker
Well, I've definitely seen some people have kind of like an itch to try things.
00:39:29
Speaker
I've literally, again, this just feels like it's across the board.
00:39:33
Speaker
Like, I've been casually offered cocaine by people, and I'm like, I have no interest.
00:39:37
Speaker
I just don't even see the appeal at all.
00:39:39
Speaker
You know how, like, I can see how some people have, like, that little thing in their brain that's like, ooh, I'm kind of...
00:39:44
Speaker
And that's the thing.
00:39:45
Speaker
If you have that tiniest weakness that people can see that you might be swayed just a tiny bit, they'll push.
00:39:49
Speaker
And then those are the people that might get hooked.
00:39:51
Speaker
Whereas for me, it's like, there is no wiggle room.
00:39:53
Speaker
I'm just not interested.
00:39:55
Speaker
It's just a flat out no.
00:39:56
Speaker
And so you have the vulnerability factor as well.
00:40:00
Speaker
The adventurous, the sensations.
00:40:02
Speaker
So you have sensation seeking and then you also have like apparently one in five people.
00:40:06
Speaker
have like sort of the adrenaline junky gene and those are the people you have to watch unfortunately people like with ADHD are more likely to be those types but if you look at it as a one in five that might well that's 20% of people who could be quite prone to addiction if they're not careful so I think let's say even if you're an individual right here right now and you're listening to this and you're thinking I do have that itch don't even try it don't even go there don't scratch it
00:40:33
Speaker
Don't scratch the itch.
00:40:34
Speaker
Ignore it.
00:40:35
Speaker
Put ice on it.
00:40:36
Speaker
Yeah, because literally it's very easy for you to ruin your entire life.
00:40:40
Speaker
And, you know, people think, oh, well, I wasn't an addict 10 years ago, so I'm not going to be now.
00:40:45
Speaker
If you know you're predisposed, if there's a hint, if there's wiggle room, if you're having a bad day and someone offers you something, you might say yes, you shouldn't even be there.
Celebrity Culture and Childbearing
00:40:55
Speaker
Yeah, so there's that aspect.
00:40:57
Speaker
Okay, so with regards to age again, one of the things that might have... So the wiggle room aspect, like I said, is the over 30 children, you know, you're more likely to have the bipolar, etc.
00:41:08
Speaker
So the mental... People with mental disorders might be more inclined to try drugs.
00:41:12
Speaker
Just as an aside, though, so you know Gordon Ramsay has just had another kid and he's 57.
00:41:16
Speaker
Oh, he's so old!
00:41:20
Speaker
57.
00:41:20
Speaker
I even thought it was his grandkid when he said, like... But it was... He's so... So Gordon Ramsay, for those who are unaware, is a very famous British chef.
00:41:28
Speaker
He's sometimes across the pond in America shouting at people on Kitchen Nightmare.
00:41:33
Speaker
I definitely think he plays a character, though, in America that he doesn't play here because he's nowhere near as hostile in the British versions of the show than he is over there.
00:41:44
Speaker
So I don't know.
00:41:45
Speaker
Maybe they just like the...
00:41:47
Speaker
the confrontational sweary Brit over there.
00:41:50
Speaker
I don't know.
00:41:50
Speaker
But yeah, he's just had a kid like a couple months ago and his wife must be in her late forties, I think.
00:41:56
Speaker
And he's 57.
00:41:58
Speaker
Oh dear.
00:42:00
Speaker
This is the other thing that I also think has an impact on women today is we're kind of, again, a little bit brainwashed by the celebrity culture.
00:42:07
Speaker
So like, I love this couple.
00:42:10
Speaker
Their names are David Mitchell and Victoria Corrin Mitchell.
00:42:14
Speaker
She's 51 and they just had a baby.
00:42:17
Speaker
I like them a lot because obviously they're both successful and intellectual and everything, but the problem is, because we keep being shown all these men and these couples, and even all the women having babies, we're kind of being somewhat brainwashed into being told, it's fine, you have time,
00:42:34
Speaker
Don't worry, you can wait till you're older.
00:42:35
Speaker
Or even kind of being told casually that just freezing your eggs or IVF is a fine backup option, as if it's just something that will guarantee work.
00:42:45
Speaker
And I mean, one of the things that's quite sad is like, if you look at the stats for, I mean,
00:42:51
Speaker
the listeners who are like 40 plus or already know this, pretty much your odds of conceiving naturally by the time you're 40 are almost impossible.
00:43:01
Speaker
I think we're talking about less than 3%.
00:43:03
Speaker
And I'm like, I don't like those odds.
00:43:06
Speaker
So even with the celebrities who have everything in their favor, keep in mind they have the money and the resources.
00:43:11
Speaker
And also they may not be openly telling us if they're having any fertility treatment.
00:43:15
Speaker
There's a rare chance they might be conceiving
Fertility Treatments and Male Infertility
00:43:17
Speaker
naturally.
00:43:17
Speaker
But again, why should we take those risks?
00:43:20
Speaker
That's true.
00:43:21
Speaker
And I also read there was an article, which I'll link in the show notes as well, but in the UK, at least anyway, I think a large proportion of, if not majority of couples who visit fertility clinics, it's usually because there's an issue with the man's fertility.
00:43:36
Speaker
But...
00:43:37
Speaker
female infertility in quotation marks is easier in quotation marks to treat but there are a lot of men who are running around with either inferior or defunct sperm who are basically infertile but it's become like women's problem to treat that everything's a woman's problem which fascinates me because if we look at let's say the sperm banks again don't they only accept about i think it was only like one or two percent of all men who let's say give a contribution
00:44:06
Speaker
They're really picky.
00:44:07
Speaker
They're really picky.
00:44:08
Speaker
Yeah, they reject so many men because a lot of guys are like, oh, I'll just make some cash on the side.
00:44:14
Speaker
And then they're all, as you say, upset.
00:44:16
Speaker
Oh, I'm too short.
00:44:17
Speaker
Guys, like, it's not just that.
00:44:19
Speaker
You're swimmers.
00:44:20
Speaker
And also, like, I think it's like they look at everything as well, don't they?
00:44:23
Speaker
Because they sort of have to.
00:44:24
Speaker
Like, if you're bold, if you have a degree, if you're, you know, your height, the height of your parents, like, they're very comprehensive in their screening and they will literally reject you if you don't meet those standards.
00:44:35
Speaker
And it's just like,
00:44:36
Speaker
I don't understand that a sperm bank can have all of these standards, you know, for the sperm they accept.
00:44:43
Speaker
But yeah, a lot of women either are not allowed or will accept standards that are like lower than a sperm bank when it comes to choosing their partner.
00:44:51
Speaker
It doesn't really make any sense, especially because the sperm bank doesn't have to deal with the fallout of the child, essentially, because the child will be with the mother.
00:44:59
Speaker
But you will if you were to procreate with somebody else.
00:45:02
Speaker
an issue I have with sperm banks as well, one of the many, is like one of the top well-known ones, I watched a whole documentary on this, is called Cryos International, which I believe is in like the Netherlands, Denmark, something like that.
00:45:14
Speaker
Sorry, I watched this many months ago.
00:45:16
Speaker
And my issue with it is the problem is they have a lot of quality in quote marks.
00:45:22
Speaker
However, the average age there, the men are quite young, university student age,
00:45:27
Speaker
So obviously I've talked about the problem with men who are too old.
00:45:31
Speaker
Here's the thing.
00:45:32
Speaker
Men under 25, under 25 years old, under 25, right, are more likely to have children with ADHD.
00:45:40
Speaker
Oh my God, Laura.
00:45:40
Speaker
Oh my God.
00:45:42
Speaker
I'm sorry.
00:45:43
Speaker
I know.
00:45:43
Speaker
You're not really selling this.
00:45:45
Speaker
I mean, I'm child for anyway, but you're not really selling this to me at all.
00:45:50
Speaker
I mean, I wasn't expecting you to sell it to me, but it's like, it sounds like it's a, okay.
00:45:55
Speaker
Sorry.
00:45:56
Speaker
Please continue.
00:45:57
Speaker
No, but it's literally every solution that everyone tries to tell you that seems like an easy fix.
00:46:03
Speaker
Nope.
00:46:04
Speaker
Because like I could choose, let's say, a 20 year old from Cryos International.
00:46:09
Speaker
And again, the thing is, partially they don't really tell you how old the men are, which I find very annoying.
00:46:14
Speaker
Because basically, like you can kind of read between the lines.
00:46:17
Speaker
You might figure it out by like, thing is currently a student at this university.
00:46:20
Speaker
You'll be like, OK, he's like 18 and 21.
00:46:22
Speaker
But what annoys me is sometimes they also have, they either have that or they'll have the semen from men who are like 40.
00:46:27
Speaker
Again, I don't want that.
00:46:29
Speaker
Don't want that.
00:46:30
Speaker
Yeah, so the guy who's, let's say, oh, I'm only 20 years old.
00:46:33
Speaker
I'll donate some semen.
00:46:35
Speaker
Again, it's like, you might have a kid from him that has ADHD.
00:46:39
Speaker
Now you might be like, well, why?
00:46:40
Speaker
I thought younger age men are supposed to be better.
00:46:42
Speaker
I thought younger is always better.
00:46:44
Speaker
No, because the prefrontal cortex in our brains isn't fully developed until we're 25.
00:46:49
Speaker
And it's responsible for impulse control, decision-making, and problem-solving, which is linked to ADHD.
00:46:56
Speaker
So I'm thinking from the research, I suspect they haven't really explained fully why the connection is there.
00:47:03
Speaker
But I suspect it's technically, it's an epigenetic factor.
00:47:06
Speaker
If the father isn't fully developed, then technically that's going to transfer across to, let's say, the semen.
Ideal Age for Conception
00:47:12
Speaker
So when you look at that, you think, again,
00:47:15
Speaker
Five years, 25 to 30.
00:47:16
Speaker
It's a small age range, and it might be a little unrealistic depending on how old you are.
00:47:23
Speaker
But yeah, so I'm not afraid to ask men when I'm out and about, oh, how old are you?
00:47:27
Speaker
And it's funny because they don't necessarily know that what I'm really asking is, is your semen any good?
00:47:32
Speaker
I know, it's so bad.
00:47:36
Speaker
You've let the cat out of the bag now, though, Laura, so.
00:47:39
Speaker
There you go, ladies.
00:47:40
Speaker
Just be like, oh, how old are you?
00:47:42
Speaker
Yeah.
00:47:43
Speaker
Well, I mean, yeah, that was so interesting.
00:47:46
Speaker
I've never really thought about, and I guess it sort of contextualises now why certain traits are favoured in the opposite sex over others, possibly at a subconscious level.
00:47:57
Speaker
I don't know, because maybe we are also, our body is also aware of our own genetic limitations and that we seek out partners who don't have that.
00:48:06
Speaker
And our body just has a way of trying to detect that.
00:48:09
Speaker
I don't know.
00:48:10
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, as I said, like, being short people tend to, on the whole, run in my family.
00:48:15
Speaker
But weirdly, again, I like a bit of both.
00:48:17
Speaker
So, clearly, I don't know, I like a little bit of an outcross hand.
00:48:21
Speaker
I like a bit of line breeding.
00:48:22
Speaker
It's just a mix and match and let's find out.
00:48:25
Speaker
I mean, we've already, again, discussed height, really.
00:48:27
Speaker
But if we're talking about something like age...
00:48:31
Speaker
Again, I mean, we could talk about women's age as well, if you want me to summarize it very briefly.
00:48:37
Speaker
So women's age does matter.
00:48:40
Speaker
I know we're saying this is an episode about men, but this is just information at the end of
Dating British Men and Global Perspectives
00:48:45
Speaker
the day.
00:48:45
Speaker
So what's frustrating is, obviously, I mean, I'm 29, and what's annoying is I'm in, realistically, the pivotal age bracket.
00:48:53
Speaker
So remember how I said men under 25, we don't want them, really?
00:48:56
Speaker
Well, here's the thing.
00:48:58
Speaker
As a woman...
00:48:59
Speaker
you're more likely to have issues if you conceive under the age of 23.
00:49:04
Speaker
So if you're 22 or younger, you're actually more likely to have things like issues with giving birth.
00:49:11
Speaker
So more likely to have birth complications.
00:49:15
Speaker
And again, you have a similar thing with the prefrontal cortex.
00:49:18
Speaker
Again, the man has more of an impact on that than the woman does.
00:49:21
Speaker
So you've got 23 as our peak at the youngest age bracket and the eldest age,
00:49:26
Speaker
peak is 32.
00:49:27
Speaker
So outside of that, not really optimal.
00:49:33
Speaker
I mean, 33, 34 is okay, but 35 to 39 can be a bit of a risk because if you want to have two or more children, you're really kind of pushing it.
00:49:42
Speaker
So, I mean, that's the thing.
00:49:43
Speaker
I look at this and I'm like, if I was older, if I was 35, I'd be like, you've got to do what you've got to do.
00:49:48
Speaker
But just this window, these short few years, I'm like, I'm going to try and go for gold.
00:49:54
Speaker
I'm going to try and do the FDS route.
00:49:57
Speaker
I'm going to see if I can find a high-value man on my own right.
00:50:01
Speaker
I have no idea where to look.
00:50:03
Speaker
I have followed so much.
00:50:04
Speaker
Abroad.
00:50:05
Speaker
Literally.
00:50:08
Speaker
You need to... Girlies, I have tried.
00:50:11
Speaker
Dating apps.
00:50:11
Speaker
That's what I did, Laura, and I haven't looked back.
00:50:14
Speaker
You need to passport sis it.
00:50:16
Speaker
Sis.
00:50:16
Speaker
Literally.
00:50:18
Speaker
It's so bad.
00:50:19
Speaker
But yeah, we're kind of copying what the scropes do, but we're doing it for a good reason.
00:50:24
Speaker
They're a good cause.
00:50:25
Speaker
I mean, it's not really the same thing.
00:50:28
Speaker
I mean, they're just looking for a woman to use and who doesn't have options.
00:50:32
Speaker
We're actually looking for a guy who we can also add value to, but it's just better looking.
00:50:37
Speaker
Oh yeah.
00:50:38
Speaker
I mean, literally, I've tried the apps.
00:50:40
Speaker
I've tried things like Toastmasters.
00:50:42
Speaker
I think FDS might have recommended that once.
00:50:44
Speaker
Nope.
00:50:45
Speaker
Yeah, yeah.
00:50:45
Speaker
Lilith was big into Toastmasters and I've heard good things about it, but it's just, you're just in England.
00:50:50
Speaker
That's why.
00:50:51
Speaker
You're just in England.
00:50:52
Speaker
That's the biggest dating barrier and that's the biggest ovary shriveler.
00:50:56
Speaker
Girl, you're in the wrong country.
00:51:03
Speaker
I could tell so many stories about my passport system, but I won't.
00:51:06
Speaker
That's just bonus content, maybe.
00:51:10
Speaker
I thought I was like the new one to do that.
00:51:12
Speaker
But obviously, you know what?
00:51:14
Speaker
You're never really a pioneer.
00:51:16
Speaker
You always find out that someone else is ahead of you.
00:51:18
Speaker
I wouldn't recommend something that I haven't tried myself, Laura.
00:51:21
Speaker
So definitely when I said the passport system, I've been there, done that.
00:51:25
Speaker
Had great success.
00:51:26
Speaker
Hence, oh, I see the laughter.
00:51:28
Speaker
You're like, hang on.
00:51:30
Speaker
Done it.
00:51:32
Speaker
I've got to say, I've got a friend that literally is like, she's talking about, she's like, oh, I need to get a man from Turkey or Spain or something.
00:51:38
Speaker
She said, like, a little more suave, a little more, you know, a little smoother.
00:51:43
Speaker
They got, you know, that little more charm.
00:51:45
Speaker
I'm like, yeah, that's what our men are missing, the charm.
00:51:48
Speaker
They're almost, they're too focused on our banter and negging.
00:51:52
Speaker
I think Americans think that British men all like James Bond.
00:51:57
Speaker
No, almost none of them are.
00:51:59
Speaker
Don't bother, ladies.
00:52:01
Speaker
Even James Bond is a scrote.
Finding Commitment and Late Bloomers
00:52:03
Speaker
Like, even by British standards, he's an absolute waste man and a liability.
00:52:07
Speaker
Even by British standards, he just happens to be a spy.
00:52:10
Speaker
But how many times was he sacked from MI6 throughout the series and then just, like, hired back because they were just desperate?
00:52:18
Speaker
I don't know.
00:52:19
Speaker
All I know is at least the Daniel Craig version was an improvement, you know.
00:52:23
Speaker
No.
00:52:23
Speaker
How can you say that?
00:52:25
Speaker
Because if you look at the really old versions... Right.
00:52:28
Speaker
Stop the bus.
00:52:29
Speaker
Stop the bus.
00:52:30
Speaker
We are stopping the bus here.
00:52:32
Speaker
I'm going to have this out before we finish the episode.
00:52:35
Speaker
Right.
00:52:35
Speaker
Okay.
00:52:36
Speaker
State your business.
00:52:37
Speaker
I like it.
00:52:37
Speaker
Okay.
00:52:38
Speaker
So basically, in this really old one, so it's all in like 50s, 60s, like you had, Bond would basically just like beat the women physically.
00:52:46
Speaker
Like he'd just be like, smack, off you go.
00:52:48
Speaker
It's like, hang on a minute, that's not nice.
00:52:50
Speaker
That's literally domestic abuse.
00:52:52
Speaker
At least in the new, it's like at least, from no value to low value.
00:52:56
Speaker
At least in the, like, no time to die, for example, at least it was like he only really had his eye on one woman.
00:53:02
Speaker
And it's like he was trying to...
00:53:04
Speaker
Yeah, he wasn't really doing his usual sort of like play the field and get with all the ladies.
00:53:08
Speaker
Like Halle Berry, that's it.
00:53:09
Speaker
Yeah, something like that.
00:53:11
Speaker
But that might be why, because James Bond, how old is James Bond?
00:53:16
Speaker
Let me find out.
00:53:16
Speaker
Oh God, it's been generated, like we're talking even my parents' generation.
00:53:20
Speaker
So there's less alcoholism presented.
00:53:23
Speaker
So actually, no.
00:53:24
Speaker
So this is relevant to what we've just been speaking about.
00:53:27
Speaker
So at No Time to Die, I mean, so in the books, for example, James Bond, let's just go by his age in the books.
00:53:34
Speaker
He would have been about 37, right?
00:53:36
Speaker
So let's assume he was 37 at no time to die.
00:53:38
Speaker
This is when he was outside the optimal range for reproducing.
00:53:41
Speaker
That might have been why he would be desperate in quotation marks to settle down.
00:53:45
Speaker
There you go.
00:53:47
Speaker
Oh, I see you're thinking.
00:53:49
Speaker
Okay.
00:53:50
Speaker
I know what you're saying.
00:53:51
Speaker
It's basically, well, hang on.
00:53:52
Speaker
He's waited until after his best and now he's like, I know what you're saying.
00:53:56
Speaker
And then he still picks a nice, attractive young woman, obviously.
Conclusion and Engagement Call
00:54:00
Speaker
Obviously.
00:54:01
Speaker
There are a few guys that I've met that I'm like,
00:54:03
Speaker
In a way, in one way they have potential.
00:54:06
Speaker
What annoys me is I can tell that they're not ready yet, but I'm not wasting my time on... I ain't Barb the Builder.
00:54:13
Speaker
And what annoys me is it's like... I have a feeling in like 5-10 years, at any point, if that guy literally... If one or two of these guys really pull their acts together, they could find a wife like that.
00:54:23
Speaker
And it'll probably be a younger woman who's only like 20 right now.
00:54:26
Speaker
And I kind of wonder about how...
00:54:28
Speaker
If in 10 years, will it still be the same old guys?
00:54:31
Speaker
But then, you know what I mean?
00:54:32
Speaker
Like, you just end up with the leftovers.
00:54:35
Speaker
Yeah, true.
00:54:36
Speaker
But yeah, let us know your thoughts on this episode.
00:54:39
Speaker
I must admit, I feel like I've learned an awful lot about, even though I'm probably child-free and will remain that way, probably even more so after realising, like, the short window that men have to be useful in terms of contributing their genes.
00:54:52
Speaker
But yeah, let us know what you think about heritability.
00:54:57
Speaker
And a huge thank you to Laura for coming on and sharing her knowledge with us.
00:55:03
Speaker
Thank you very much for having me.
00:55:05
Speaker
I hope it hasn't been too heavy, where it's like, oh, wow.
00:55:08
Speaker
No, it was really, really interesting.
00:55:10
Speaker
Thank you.
00:55:11
Speaker
So that's our show.
00:55:13
Speaker
Check us out on social media at fem.strat.
00:55:17
Speaker
We are slowly making a return to social media.
00:55:20
Speaker
I sort of took a hiatus from X after Elon Musk came and fucked shit up.
00:55:26
Speaker
It's still not the same since before he took it over, but...
00:55:30
Speaker
Yeah, we're slowly making our way back.
00:55:32
Speaker
So, yeah, we haven't gone anywhere.
00:55:34
Speaker
FDS is still here.
00:55:35
Speaker
Thanks for listening, queens, and for all you scrotes out there.
00:55:40
Speaker
We don't want your geriatrics even!
00:55:42
Speaker
And you can die mad.
00:55:43
Speaker
See you next week!