Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
The Crowning of Three New Queens - Introducing The New FDS Hosts
25 Plays1 year ago
It's coronations day as the new FDS Queens have been crowned! Join Savannah as she introduces Diana, Rose and Patricia to the FDS audience and their journey to becoming FDS royalty.
Rose's audition: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-ins-and-outs-of-2024/id1558083287?i=1000654150195
Patricia's audition: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/remaining-true-to-your-values-when-dating/id1558083287?i=1000657934513
Dick size matters (because we all know it does) episode: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/we-like-big-dicks-and-we-refuse-to-lie/id1558083287?i=1000520221855
FDS War Room on the Queen Patreon Tier: https://www.patreon.com/TheFemaleDatingStrategy
Paypal: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/femdatstrat
Follow us!
Weekly Bonus Content/Merch/Discord on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/TheFemaleDatingStrategy
Paypal: https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/femdatstrat
Website:https://www.thefemaledatingstrategy.com
Twitter: https://twitter.com/femdatstrat
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_thefemaledatingstrategy/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/The-Female-Dating-Strategy-109118567480771
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction and Transition
00:00:00
Speaker
What's up, queens?
00:00:02
Speaker
Welcome back to the Female Dating Strategy podcast, the meanest female-only podcast on the internet.
00:00:08
Speaker
I'm actually really proud of that moniker, actually.
00:00:11
Speaker
It was started, I think, as sort of like a slur from, I don't know, it was either Vice of the Daily Mail or like one of those two.
00:00:17
Speaker
But I've actually come to be really proud of it because there are many, many female-only podcasts on the internet and to have the accolade of being the meanest
00:00:25
Speaker
I'll take that.
00:00:28
Speaker
I am your host, Savannah, unfortunately without Ro today, which I will come, I will touch on what's happening with us and that in a second.
00:00:37
Speaker
But today is a very, very, very, very big day in FDS podcast history.
00:00:43
Speaker
So as you will know, almost a year ago now, wow, time really flies.
00:00:47
Speaker
Ro and I said that we were stepping down from the podcast due to things like feeling that we had sort of become a bit of a broken record of some sorts.
00:00:56
Speaker
And also we wanted to give, we wanted to bring a new perspective to the pods by inviting different women with different experiences of background to come and be permanent hosts.
Meet the New Hosts
00:01:06
Speaker
So we had a really, really strong round of applications.
00:01:10
Speaker
We released some of the audition episodes, which you heard earlier on in the year.
00:01:14
Speaker
And I am extremely pleased to announce that we have our three, three new Musketeers in place.
00:01:23
Speaker
These are women who they blew us away in the application and also in their audition, but also they offered something that I feel would be a good addition to the Standing Podcast episodes as well.
00:01:37
Speaker
So I'm really, really excited to see you.
00:01:39
Speaker
to semi pass the torch onto these new hosts and I'll come on to that in a little bit.
00:01:44
Speaker
So if we start with our first new host, we have Patricia.
00:01:49
Speaker
Patricia, welcome to the Female Dating Strategy podcast as a host.
00:01:54
Speaker
Hi, thank you so much.
00:01:56
Speaker
I remember the day that I was listening to you and Rose saying that you're looking for new hosts.
00:02:00
Speaker
I was cycling down the street with my headphones in my ears.
00:02:04
Speaker
I was like, I almost jumped off of my bike because I was so excited.
00:02:08
Speaker
And you were insane enough to apply.
00:02:09
Speaker
Yes, I was encouraged by my best friend.
00:02:13
Speaker
And now I'm here at my house with my computer recording with you.
00:02:17
Speaker
That's amazing.
00:02:19
Speaker
Super excited.
00:02:20
Speaker
And I was really, really encouraged by the episode that you did and especially the follow-up story as well, which we'll get to in future episodes, hopefully.
00:02:28
Speaker
But I was really, really excited to have you on, I guess.
00:02:32
Speaker
So in terms of, I guess, you know, I mean, we touched on the reasons as to why you applied in your first episode, which you can go, which I will link to in the show notes below.
00:02:44
Speaker
But in terms of the sorts of things and different perspectives you would like to see on the pod, what
00:02:50
Speaker
Could you give our listeners, I guess, a taste or a flavour of the new perspectives that will be brought to this pod?
00:02:57
Speaker
Now that you're here.
00:02:58
Speaker
I think it's like a full circle because what drew me so much to FDS were the same kind of wisdoms that I had in myself, but I needed to hear to be reflected.
00:03:09
Speaker
Like I'm strong.
00:03:11
Speaker
I need to focus on myself when I'll be in my best position.
00:03:14
Speaker
I will be able to do beneficial things in my life, like have a beneficial relationship, focus on how things feel for me.
00:03:22
Speaker
And now that I feel fully initiated in FDS, I feel also that the things that I say to my friends, to my girlfriends, have like a very sound base because I know that everything I'm saying is FDS approved.
00:03:35
Speaker
So it's just reflecting the same truths on, I think.
00:03:39
Speaker
And I think that's really important as well.
00:03:41
Speaker
I think deep, deep down, I think a lot of women, they would resonate with a lot of what FDS says, but it sort of takes somebody else to put it into words or to bring it to life or to, or just to say it out loud before you're thinking, actually, you know, this is real and this is, you know, this makes sense to me as well.
00:04:01
Speaker
So I completely resonate with that too.
Dating Dynamics and FDS's Role
00:04:03
Speaker
Yes, to have that empowerment validated in the highest sense.
00:04:08
Speaker
Like I say to my friends when they ask me about relationship advice, like, listen, you are a queen.
00:04:14
Speaker
You are a queen on your pedestal.
00:04:16
Speaker
You're waiting for people to come and suit your needs.
00:04:19
Speaker
That's all there is.
00:04:21
Speaker
Really, it's nothing below that.
00:04:24
Speaker
And it's...
00:04:25
Speaker
fulfilling for me to be able to say that because I'm confident in saying that.
00:04:28
Speaker
And I think it's amazing to resonate that onwards, to have more and more women as a focal point, to be able to say that with strength and proliferate that knowledge on and on.
00:04:38
Speaker
Agreed.
00:04:39
Speaker
Agreed.
00:04:40
Speaker
And I really, really love how you put that as well.
00:04:42
Speaker
We didn't actually script this episode before we started, by the way.
00:04:45
Speaker
So I guess to stir the pot a bit, I'm going to ask each of the new hosts a question.
00:04:51
Speaker
Given the state of dating, what would you say is the number one issue that you see?
00:04:56
Speaker
I know we could probably do a 10 episode series on all the issues in dating, but if you had to pick your number one, what would be the top issue for you?
00:05:06
Speaker
And how do you see
00:05:08
Speaker
FDS playing a role, I guess, in addressing that?
00:05:12
Speaker
I'll let my beautiful co-host answer first.
00:05:15
Speaker
Okay, okay.
00:05:19
Speaker
I'll go first.
00:05:20
Speaker
I'll go first.
00:05:20
Speaker
That's a good answer.
00:05:21
Speaker
That's a good answer.
00:05:22
Speaker
I'll go first to give you some time to think.
00:05:26
Speaker
So if I had to pick out one big issue, and I think that Ro touched on this when we started the podcast years, I could say years ago now, because it was literally years ago, 21, my God, was that I don't think men and women are speaking the same language.
00:05:41
Speaker
It's like women are speaking Swahili and men are speaking Spanish.
00:05:46
Speaker
and trying to understand each other in terms of dating.
00:05:48
Speaker
There's just been a complete breakdown and disconnect in terms of, you know, what a relationship should be.
00:05:55
Speaker
And it almost feels like, because of the way relationship dynamics have changed over time, and I think it's a lot to do with the fact that women are more emancipated in some parts of the world.
00:06:07
Speaker
Let's, you know, let's not take it for granted that
00:06:10
Speaker
Unfortunately, in other parts of the world, our sisters are still very, very much oppressed and they don't have the same freedoms that we enjoy in the Western world.
00:06:19
Speaker
But I think that because I guess relationships and marriages and interactions with men have relied on women being so dependent on men for so long, and that is now shifting, it's almost like men don't know what
00:06:33
Speaker
or understand, you know, how to relate to women and what we actually want.
00:06:37
Speaker
So you get things like the red pill that will say things like, oh yeah, women love it when you're an arsehole.
00:06:42
Speaker
You know, women love it when you're playing dread game.
00:06:44
Speaker
You need to be masculine.
00:06:46
Speaker
You need to lay down the law so that she just follows it.
00:06:48
Speaker
When actually, you know, times are changing.
00:06:51
Speaker
You know, we're now moving into a time where
00:06:53
Speaker
again in parts of the world not everywhere unfortunately and I hope every woman around the world gets to experience this day but we're now moving to a place where women are finding heterosexual relationships optional it's not something that we need we don't need a man to pay our bills or to give us housing or to give us a job opportunities in certain parts of the world now
00:07:16
Speaker
And as a result, I think again, like men are, they're basically freaking the fuck out, right?
00:07:21
Speaker
And they just don't know how to speak our language on any front.
00:07:25
Speaker
And I think that one of the things that the subreddit actually did was it almost gave, you know, men a blueprint.
00:07:34
Speaker
as to what a high value woman, so to speak, would actually want from a relationship.
00:07:39
Speaker
And we used to get DMs in the inbox from men saying things like, I actually follow the subreddit because it teaches me how to be a better partner or how to attract women.
00:07:49
Speaker
Because ultimately, like, I feel like if you're a decent, you know, man who wants a relationship with a woman with honest intentions, then FDS is not going to be a threat to you.
00:07:58
Speaker
Because, you know, when we say a low value man, if you're a high value man, you'll know that we're not talking about you.
00:08:03
Speaker
So it's in a way, it's sort of self, it's quite telling when a man gets offended by the term low value male, because it's like, if you didn't feel it applied to you, then you wouldn't be offended by it.
00:08:14
Speaker
So that's what I would say is the biggest challenge.
00:08:17
Speaker
How can FDS resolve that?
00:08:19
Speaker
I think we just need to just keep banging the drum until...
00:08:22
Speaker
I want to say FDS values, but I think a lot of these ideas, they preceded FDS.
00:08:27
Speaker
They came from things like radical feminism.
00:08:29
Speaker
They came from things like different cultures around the world where we just put our foot down.
00:08:34
Speaker
And I think we just need to just keep banging the drum because I'm already seeing a massive shift in the dating advice.
Empowerment and Personal Growth
00:08:40
Speaker
and the things that are normalized even more so than three years ago, where if we look at Reddit, for example, Reddit isn't reflective of real life, I think, maybe, but it gives you an insight into how a lot of people think.
00:08:52
Speaker
And if you see the dating advice on there, you know, now versus three years ago, you see a lot more women on that site being, you know, less willing to just communicate or, you know, less, you know, willing to give men the benefit of the doubt.
00:09:07
Speaker
All these things that FDS was sort of reviled and, you know, basically chastised, you know, for saying that women should have standards, that women should leave with the first red flag, that men know if they want to marry you.
00:09:19
Speaker
So if he's, you know, keeping you on the hook for years, he's not serious.
00:09:23
Speaker
All of these things now are becoming more normalised in dating advice for women.
00:09:29
Speaker
And I think FDS has been a big part of that revolution.
00:09:31
Speaker
And I think we will continue to play a big part in that revolution as well.
00:09:35
Speaker
And here endeth the lesson.
00:09:40
Speaker
Here, here.
00:09:44
Speaker
Here, here.
00:09:45
Speaker
Here, fucking here.
00:09:49
Speaker
Yes.
00:09:50
Speaker
Savannah, that was such a wonderful encapsulation of, I think, what FDS has meant, dare I say, for all of us, Diana, Patricia.
00:10:00
Speaker
I think it's about valuing oneself.
00:10:03
Speaker
which if you're a woman, you have probably been inculcated.
00:10:07
Speaker
You've been programmed to devalue any of the parts that make you a woman.
00:10:14
Speaker
And if we start to think about this from an interior perspective versus an exterior, I mean, I think your question is so valid.
00:10:23
Speaker
But I think oftentimes, and mostly to our detriment, we're saying, I don't understand.
00:10:28
Speaker
Why can't they listen to what we're saying?
00:10:31
Speaker
You know, like believe women.
00:10:33
Speaker
Could you just believe what we're telling you?
00:10:34
Speaker
It's not like we're not using our words to communicate.
00:10:38
Speaker
So I think in that sort of scenario, what we have to look at is what are we doing ourselves?
00:10:43
Speaker
And not from a victim blaming standpoint, but like from a, I'm a person with conscious will, with voluntary choices.
00:10:53
Speaker
Like you say, we no longer have to be in a vassalage system.
00:10:56
Speaker
We're no longer legally property of men, of our fathers, of our brothers, of our husbands.
00:11:02
Speaker
We belong to ourselves now.
00:11:04
Speaker
more or less.
00:11:06
Speaker
And that, of course, has varying degrees across the globe.
00:11:09
Speaker
But I think the best thing we can do, and maybe this is coming from like the Buddhist studies that I've read, is, you know, the saying where the Buddhists say, your influence in this world stops where your fingertips end.
00:11:25
Speaker
What does that mean?
00:11:26
Speaker
It means the world that is yourself, you yourself are an entire world.
00:11:31
Speaker
Whatever you do to change yourself, to alter your own perceptions, to move the needle on the ideologies that you believe in.
00:11:40
Speaker
That is ultimately what creates the change that we're hoping to see in the world, right?
00:11:45
Speaker
Certainly these FDS values, as you say, you know, this is just the latest iteration of feminist liberation, of women's liberation.
00:11:54
Speaker
We're at the point now where we actually can take the time, have the space,
00:11:59
Speaker
Listen to our sisters.
00:12:00
Speaker
I mean, just being able to like listen to TikTok, Instagram, Reddit, YouTube.
00:12:06
Speaker
We've never had such a critical mass point of communication amongst ourselves, right?
00:12:12
Speaker
We've been divided and kept from one another, siloed more or less in like these domestic prisons, right?
00:12:19
Speaker
And so I think the fact that now we can listen to one another as opposed to listening to men, because we know men with honest intentions will come correct.
00:12:27
Speaker
Those who don't,
00:12:29
Speaker
That's part of our discerning process.
00:12:32
Speaker
It's learning those who don't have honest intentions.
00:12:34
Speaker
But honestly, what are our own intentions in the world?
00:12:37
Speaker
How do we want to see our lives proceed?
00:12:40
Speaker
Who are the people that we're allowing into our lives?
00:12:43
Speaker
And that includes friends and family, as well as the men that we hope to ally with.
00:12:48
Speaker
So I think ultimately, you know, what are we or what am I as an individual doing to challenge my own beliefs, to name things that before now I haven't been able to put a name to and to really shift my own understanding of the role I want to play in this world and in my own life.
00:13:07
Speaker
That's beautiful.
00:13:08
Speaker
Agreed.
00:13:09
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, I think another aspect of it is that what we're trying to do is really build something that's foundational.
00:13:15
Speaker
That's, you know, at the root essence of what we do is to make common sense common again.
00:13:22
Speaker
Because common sense is surprisingly uncommon.
00:13:26
Speaker
Make common sense common again.
00:13:30
Speaker
Can we get that on a t-shirt?
00:13:31
Speaker
Yeah, my mom always said that growing up and I didn't actually believe her until I became an adult.
00:13:35
Speaker
That's when it made sense to me.
00:13:37
Speaker
The thing is, you know, when you're a kid, you know that if you touch a hot pot or you don't know, you touch a hot pot and you realize, oh, I'm going to burn my fingers.
00:13:44
Speaker
Right.
00:13:45
Speaker
And you don't do it ever again.
00:13:46
Speaker
But we live in a society that tells you that if you burn your fingers as a sign of virtue.
00:13:51
Speaker
And a lot of women are in a position where they think that being self-sacrificial and just causing a great deal of self-harm is going to help them in the aid of love.
00:13:59
Speaker
Even though common sense tells them that that's actually not a strategy that will work or a winning strategy.
00:14:05
Speaker
They may get a man, but at what cost, right?
00:14:07
Speaker
You're not going to get a good man by compromising yourself that way.
00:14:11
Speaker
Men can be as stupid as they want in love, but women can't.
00:14:14
Speaker
We can't afford to be stupid.
00:14:15
Speaker
So really, when we're talking about common sense, we're talking about how society kind of slow boils us into accepting that there's really not much for our life, like not much we can ask for in our lives.
00:14:27
Speaker
And so we get used to this position of self-sacrificing because it's not something that happens overnight.
00:14:33
Speaker
It's something that's a slow erosion.
00:14:35
Speaker
If you're self-love, if you're self-belief, your self-esteem, whatever you want to call it, it's not something that happens overnight.
00:14:41
Speaker
It's a lot of patriarchal conditioning that comes through the media, through education, sometimes from your own family, sometimes from friends.
00:14:47
Speaker
So it takes a lot to take that first step to be like, I am going to assert myself and ask for what I want.
00:14:53
Speaker
And I think that that's what makes FDS really radical is that they say that it's okay to put yourself first, radical even to put yourself first, and probably necessary if you want to find a good partner.
00:15:03
Speaker
And I think that that's a strategy that really appealed to me when I first heard about FDS, because, you know, I grew up with a very strong relationship with my father.
00:15:10
Speaker
And he told me a lot of stuff that made a lot of common sense back in the day.
00:15:14
Speaker
And I understood it.
00:15:15
Speaker
But at the same time, you get so conditioned by society to accept scraps that after a point, the common sense is rationalized away by something stupid.
00:15:25
Speaker
And you hear everyone parroting the exact same belief.
00:15:29
Speaker
So it becomes really hard for you to find the outliers or models because you're so used to having the parroted Cosmo, 10 ways to please your man kind of rhetoric, which was until even 10 years ago, super common.
00:15:41
Speaker
I think that was the only kind of advice women got in dating was, you know, just compromise yourself, be more feminine, be more submissive, be more this and be less that.
00:15:50
Speaker
And it never actually stopped to consider what exactly is in a woman's best interest because 99% of the time it is not a man.
00:15:58
Speaker
Preach.
00:15:59
Speaker
Yes.
00:16:01
Speaker
Oh my goodness.
00:16:01
Speaker
That just felt so good to hear.
00:16:03
Speaker
Thank you.
00:16:04
Speaker
And again, I think that is, you know, that's really, really where FDS I think has become really accessible because especially to younger people as well, I feel really sorry for people my age.
00:16:16
Speaker
I don't really know.
00:16:17
Speaker
Am I Gen Z or Millennial?
00:16:18
Speaker
I was born in the 90s, so maybe I'm Millennial.
00:16:21
Speaker
It depends whether you're late.
00:16:23
Speaker
If you're late 90s, you're Gen Z. If you're early 90s, you're Millennial.
00:16:26
Speaker
If you're middle, you're like a Zillennial.
00:16:28
Speaker
Oh, okay.
00:16:29
Speaker
I'm Gen Z then.
00:16:30
Speaker
I'm Gen Z then.
00:16:32
Speaker
But yeah, I feel really bad for my generation and the people after me in terms of, I guess, the stock of men that is out there.
00:16:41
Speaker
But at the same time, I'm also hopeful that the standards canon will raise by again, you know, making the things that Diana and Patricia said just more normalized in dating discourse, that it's okay for women to put ourselves first.
00:16:54
Speaker
And you know what?
00:16:55
Speaker
It makes men so mad.
00:16:57
Speaker
Well, at least men who are chronically online, it makes them so, so angry when they see a woman who is child free or who is saying that I'm going to focus on myself.
00:17:06
Speaker
And if I find a good partner, great.
00:17:08
Speaker
If I don't, I'll still just focus on myself.
00:17:11
Speaker
It makes them really, really mad.
00:17:12
Speaker
You know, once you get past the cackling at just how stupid they are, it does make you wonder, like, is the whole premise of heterosexual relationship, does it rely on women having low self-esteem, on women not loving themselves enough, on women not knowing their worth?
Challenging Traditional Norms
00:17:28
Speaker
Is that the scam?
00:17:30
Speaker
It's totally predicated on that.
00:17:31
Speaker
But on the other hand, like, you know, the greatest way to know, like a good barometer to know whether you're on the right track or the wrong track, let's say the wrong track first, is if you have a bunch of men happy and agreeing with you.
00:17:42
Speaker
That's when you know you have compromised yourself a little too much.
00:17:46
Speaker
If a bunch of men are happy with you, that's when you know.
00:17:49
Speaker
that you have done something very, very wrong.
00:17:52
Speaker
If men are upset with you, that's just nature acting its course.
00:17:56
Speaker
They're supposed to be upset.
00:17:57
Speaker
Like we do these standards, we have these standards for the survival of this species.
00:18:01
Speaker
The same way that they say that we should be procreating with everything that moves.
00:18:04
Speaker
We're like, no, we actually care about the kinds of human beings that are going to come, you know, a few decades from now, because we don't want idiots.
00:18:10
Speaker
ruling our planet, you know?
00:18:13
Speaker
Well, and certainly, right, this is something that FDS actually had posted several years ago, The Tragedy of Heterosexuality by Jane Ward.
00:18:21
Speaker
And it is about this hierarchical structure upon which patriarchy is predicated.
00:18:26
Speaker
And what I find really amusing is every time I'm listening to these alpha bros, the tater tots, et cetera, the red pillars, what they're describing is how they want to live typically.
00:18:36
Speaker
Like if they were saying the same thing about themselves, they'd be so proud of themselves for living such, you know, empowered, independent lives.
00:18:44
Speaker
But as soon as it switches genders, all of a sudden,
00:18:47
Speaker
You know, it's the sky is falling.
00:18:49
Speaker
And so I just find this hypocrisy so telling that oftentimes when they are, you know, maligning and decrying women's behavior, we're simply acting now as men have been allowed to for millennia.
00:19:02
Speaker
And only now is it a problem.
00:19:04
Speaker
So that's what I find most curious because it's like, are you listening to yourselves?
00:19:08
Speaker
Do you not see this double standard?
00:19:10
Speaker
And of course, this is part of the cult and the conditioning that's been given to all of us.
00:19:16
Speaker
100%.
00:19:16
Speaker
And I think a thing that FDS also, I think is good at nailing home is that this whole idea of looking for equality in dating is just a fool's errand.
00:19:30
Speaker
You'll never find it because men and women are fundamentally different.
00:19:35
Speaker
They fundamentally bring different things to the relationship.
00:19:38
Speaker
Women are generally more at risk
00:19:42
Speaker
in heterosexual relationships and coming to harm from, you know, victims of domestic violence and being raped from being left impoverished after divorce, as much as the internet bros will tell you otherwise, it's actually women who are more at risk of being in poverty after divorce, not men.
00:19:57
Speaker
And with all that in mind, you need to go into it with an equitable mindset.
00:20:01
Speaker
So
00:20:02
Speaker
this hunt for equality, ultimately, in any scenario where there is an advantage or a disadvantage group, equality only benefits the advantage group, because it allows them to maintain that status of advantage.
00:20:15
Speaker
But we sort of like rattled on actually, so Patricia, you were off the hook with that question, to be fair, that was a bit of an unfair one.
00:20:21
Speaker
No worries.
00:20:22
Speaker
Just my intuition said as soon as you asked the question was low effort.
00:20:28
Speaker
And that's pretty much what all of my beautiful co-hosts, Rose and Diana, also what you were presenting, Savannah.
00:20:34
Speaker
I think that's the major obstacle in women dating is just low effort, but also it resonates with everything that you guys said, because if we're not surrounded by
00:20:45
Speaker
other women and men who resonate high standards, then we think that the low effort that we're getting, that's just reality, but it's not.
00:20:53
Speaker
And it's also pertains to like our spiritual beliefs.
00:20:56
Speaker
Like you said, the Buddhist way, Rosie, we're touching on that, like believing, knowing in your heart that there is a better way
00:21:05
Speaker
It's like going for a job interview while already feeling like you have the job, like you need to be dating, as if you already have the most amazing partner who treats you perfectly, who validates all of your needs because that partner is you.
00:21:21
Speaker
It's about having a good relationship with yourself.
00:21:23
Speaker
And that's why I love that the first pillar of FDS is leveling up.
00:21:29
Speaker
Because if you're good on your own, then you're not afraid of letting go of bad date.
Shifting Gender Dynamics
00:21:35
Speaker
You're not afraid of letting go of a short relationship because you're not desperate to be with somebody because you know that your baseline is good.
00:21:42
Speaker
And then you can measure, does this person add value to my life?
00:21:46
Speaker
Because to begin with, your life is amazing.
00:21:49
Speaker
Yes.
00:21:50
Speaker
And it shifts the dynamic of dating.
00:21:52
Speaker
So as opposed to men competing against each other for a woman, which is what they're hoping for because they know the bar for men is also fucking low.
00:22:00
Speaker
Like before, a man just had to just basically be alive and he'd be guaranteed a wife and multiple kids.
00:22:06
Speaker
Basically, because I always say that marriage was affirmative action for undesirable men.
00:22:11
Speaker
And I've been proven right by the fact that the marital rate as women are becoming more emancipated again in parts of the world.
00:22:16
Speaker
Hopefully again, my sisters around the world will also get to a state where they don't need marriage to survive.
00:22:21
Speaker
The marriage rate is dropping.
00:22:23
Speaker
The rate of long-term relationships is dropping between heterosexual people because...
00:22:28
Speaker
It isn't that they now have to compete against other men.
00:22:31
Speaker
They have to compete against a woman's life.
00:22:33
Speaker
They have to compete against her sense of solitude, her self-esteem, her self-love.
00:22:37
Speaker
And a lot of them are just not competition for that.
00:22:40
Speaker
Because I found as I got more established, like in my career and myself, 99% of men just are just not impressive in any way, shape or form.
00:22:49
Speaker
You know, you can just like look straight past them, at least in my experience anyway.
00:22:55
Speaker
You're not wrong.
00:22:56
Speaker
Also, you know, I think it would help for our listeners to hear that actually the reaction that men are having right now is completely born out of fear.
00:23:05
Speaker
Almost everything they're doing right now is major, massive projection.
00:23:09
Speaker
Because even if you look at the history of like romance, like when it originated in France or whatever, they made romance up as a way to give themselves a way to level the playing fields because they couldn't compete with aristocratic men because aristocratic men had money.
00:23:22
Speaker
They had resources.
00:23:24
Speaker
Oh.
00:23:25
Speaker
And women were obviously in a society where women had no way to make money and had no education.
00:23:30
Speaker
They had to rely on men for resources.
00:23:32
Speaker
So these poor men unionized and they were like, well, he may have money, but he won't love you like I do.
00:23:38
Speaker
And we all know that that's the most useless proposition.
00:23:42
Speaker
If love could pay the bills, then I would love them right now.
00:23:44
Speaker
But seeing as your, you know, smegma infused dick is not exactly paying my bills right now, I'm not interested.
00:23:52
Speaker
Oh my God, Diana.
00:23:53
Speaker
Oh my God.
00:23:54
Speaker
I'm not interested.
00:23:56
Speaker
Oh my God.
00:23:58
Speaker
I'm just saying, I might be a lot more ruthless than you guys, you know, expected, but I'm just letting you know, like I don't suffer fools at all.
00:24:06
Speaker
So whenever they pull up this shit of like, Oh, but my love, I'm like, your love doesn't do shit for me.
00:24:10
Speaker
When it starts paying my bills, I'll start thinking about it.
00:24:13
Speaker
It's common sense.
00:24:14
Speaker
But to them, common sense is ruthless, you know, because it excludes them.
00:24:17
Speaker
That's why men are trying to make it a free for all buffet where it's inclusive.
00:24:22
Speaker
And you know how they always like decry all this like woke stuff like, oh, why should we be inclusive?
00:24:26
Speaker
Why should we let women do X, Y and Z?
00:24:28
Speaker
Why should a woman be president?
00:24:29
Speaker
Blah, blah.
00:24:30
Speaker
But the truth is that they benefit from inclusivity more than we do.
00:24:33
Speaker
You know, if women actually maintained a ruthless exclusive standard where they have a baseline of like, these are the things I need for me to even consider partnering with a man.
00:24:42
Speaker
A good chunk of the men in their own country would be ineligible by default.
00:24:46
Speaker
And they know that.
00:24:47
Speaker
So a lot of how they're reacting right now is just projection and fear.
00:24:51
Speaker
The people who are actually afraid are men.
00:24:54
Speaker
A hundred percent.
00:24:55
Speaker
And governments.
00:24:57
Speaker
Governments are terrified because they see the balance shifting.
00:25:01
Speaker
They see power slipping.
00:25:03
Speaker
And I think this is really interesting, especially I'm here in the United States.
00:25:07
Speaker
And I've been also seeing online, there's a lot of discourse around falling birth rates.
00:25:12
Speaker
Have any of you all been having that pop up in your feeds?
00:25:16
Speaker
Not about the US, but I heard about different countries.
00:25:18
Speaker
I've heard that about Korea and Japan and all these and China and all these countries like and their proposals for fixing it are so stupid as well.
00:25:26
Speaker
It's like China's like, oh, well, maybe men can take two wives like you can't even pay for one.
00:25:29
Speaker
What are you talking about, too?
00:25:33
Speaker
Also, because of the femicide of so many of their girl babies, where are you going to find these two women to one man?
00:25:39
Speaker
Yeah, they went from a one child policy to like a two wife policy overnight.
00:25:43
Speaker
They're like, oh, my God.
00:25:47
Speaker
But I think this speaks to the desperation and the other delusion of men in power, governments.
00:25:54
Speaker
They see in the next 10, 15, 20 years when you don't have workers, what's going to happen to economies?
00:26:00
Speaker
What's going to happen on the front of war?
00:26:02
Speaker
Because we all know that when there are young men who are underemployed, who don't have women and families, violence rises.
00:26:10
Speaker
And so this is also another one of their concerns, right?
00:26:12
Speaker
It's like, how do you maintain a stable civilization or stable society without sacrificing women?
00:26:19
Speaker
It's so weird.
00:26:20
Speaker
Like there's a battle going on in women's uterus.
00:26:23
Speaker
Like I'm originally from Israel and one of the reasons that I'm...
00:26:27
Speaker
I sadly had to leave because all of the immoral war happening and so many people are for that war.
00:26:34
Speaker
And it's exactly these people who are stupid, who are, they don't have any love in their heart.
00:26:40
Speaker
There's racist, but they're the ones that are making babies and the ones that see reality clearly, they're not making any babies or they're making them a lot later or they're making less.
00:26:51
Speaker
And it's so weird.
00:26:55
Speaker
It's the same in the UK.
00:26:57
Speaker
The birth rate is declining massively in the UK because it's just so fucking expensive to have a kid and the government have legislated to make it harder.
00:27:04
Speaker
for people to have children.
00:27:05
Speaker
People are having kids later, they're buying houses later, that's delaying the number of children that they're having.
00:27:12
Speaker
And yeah, again, they're just not really adopting.
00:27:14
Speaker
And when people say family-friendly policies, what they really mean is essentially policies that benefit the mother because whenever there is a new family created, it's normally the mother that is most impacted.
00:27:26
Speaker
that is most impacted and vulnerable more so than the father.
00:27:29
Speaker
So when we talk about family friendly policies, what we should be really saying is, is maternity friendly policies or maternal friendly policies, because it hits them the hardest.
00:27:39
Speaker
But I recognize we've, we've massively drifted off so I can give you a taste of our episodes to come.
00:27:44
Speaker
Well, yes.
00:27:44
Speaker
And I was just going to say, if I may just say one thing too, doesn't it give anybody whiplash how quickly we shifted from overpopulation is going to end this world's resources to we don't have enough babies being born?
00:27:57
Speaker
My theory is that it's actually been quite disconcerting for a lot of political leaders to understand just how powerful women have become in their own countries.
00:28:08
Speaker
Because we've gone from a place where
00:28:10
Speaker
men were like the primary earners and primary purchasers to women being primary earners and primary purchasers in a lot of developed nations.
00:28:17
Speaker
And the most valuable worker in capitalism will always be a mother because a mother is the only person who can actually birth more workers.
00:28:25
Speaker
So they're always going to try to find ways to regulate what a woman does and what mothers and people with uteruses specifically, like women specifically, could do because we are the most valuable resource.
00:28:36
Speaker
But the weird thing is, if you look at the way that they create policies, it's never keeping the most valuable worker in mind.
00:28:43
Speaker
You know, they incentivize you like with like a financial incentive that's very, very meager.
00:28:47
Speaker
Like it's like, oh, for every second baby, you give birth to, we'll give you like $50,000.
00:28:52
Speaker
And it's like, well, that's really not an investment in the child's name because a child is more expensive than that amount now.
00:28:57
Speaker
You know, and with rising costs and inflation, all that stuff, like if that woman is the default parent, you know, really in the old days with factories and stuff like they had to keep children alive long enough for them to work in factories.
00:29:08
Speaker
You know, now we're in a position where we're actually talking about quality of life.
00:29:11
Speaker
And a lot of women have realized that their quality of life vastly improves when they don't have a man attached.
00:29:17
Speaker
And that's risky for a government because how do we incentivize women to give birth to children?
00:29:22
Speaker
And that's why so much of their policies is around like making it like just cheaper for like five seconds, as opposed to actually coming up with long term strategies to encourage.
00:29:31
Speaker
Because I don't think the problem is that women don't want to start families.
00:29:34
Speaker
Let me just put that out there.
00:29:35
Speaker
You know, it's just that the quality of men that we have to partner with to make these families is so bad.
00:29:41
Speaker
And these governments like don't ever come up with like a solution to do something about the guys.
00:29:45
Speaker
It's always like, oh, let's take away this woman's reproductive rights and let's make it harder for them to, you know, get an abortion or get a divorce and like trap them.
00:29:53
Speaker
And they're taking us back into the past instead of carving out a new way to the future.
00:29:57
Speaker
And that's because most of the leadership are men and men are hardly ever visionaries, you know?
00:30:03
Speaker
Exactly.
00:30:04
Speaker
So first of all, I super agree with you.
00:30:07
Speaker
And I just like to caveat or add something that this problem with people making less babies, creating less families, I think it has to do not only with the deal becoming worse for women, but also with the deal becoming worse for everybody.
00:30:22
Speaker
But
00:30:22
Speaker
pertaining to women, I think the problem with everything that you described and with the legislation being not in favor of women really is because the paradigm shift is not there yet, meaning women are not revered as fucking magical creatures for being able to create life, but it's kind of like
00:30:40
Speaker
a resource.
00:30:41
Speaker
Like they are able to create human beings to take part in the working force, whatever.
00:30:47
Speaker
But the paradigm shift is still not there to respect women on this very deep level.
00:30:53
Speaker
And that is exactly like you said, I think, because most of the leadership is men.
00:30:57
Speaker
So they treat women as a resource manufacturing part of society.
00:31:03
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:04
Speaker
And it's funny how these like societal things filter into your dating life.
00:31:07
Speaker
Cause like, I'm sure all of us have been on a date where like a man has been like, well, you don't want to have children.
00:31:12
Speaker
Oh my God.
00:31:13
Speaker
But what about my legacy and the future of society and blah, blah, blah.
00:31:16
Speaker
Well, that didn't happen to me personally, but I have a friend who's like 38 and she said that she was on a date in like in the last, I don't know, half a year.
00:31:23
Speaker
And somebody asked her, how old is she?
00:31:25
Speaker
And then the next question was, well, did you freeze eggs?
00:31:28
Speaker
Which is so... Oh my God!
00:31:31
Speaker
You have such a strange question to ask.
00:31:37
Speaker
First date.
00:31:38
Speaker
First.
00:31:39
Speaker
That's so weird.
00:31:41
Speaker
I mean, I've definitely gotten a lecture like I live in a very overpopulated country.
00:31:45
Speaker
So for anyone to be lecturing me about not fulfilling my maternal duty of bearing more sons or whatever the fuck is just hilarious because you're not Genghis Khan, man.
00:31:53
Speaker
You're not like, you know, a legacy maker.
00:31:55
Speaker
You're not like a person I give a shit about procreating with in order to ensure your bloodline.
00:32:00
Speaker
It's just not Game of Thrones.
00:32:01
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:32:02
Speaker
Some of these guys just have such an inflated sense of self-importance.
00:32:05
Speaker
Like you are not that important.
00:32:07
Speaker
I hate to say it to you, but your parents lied to you.
00:32:09
Speaker
You're not that important.
00:32:10
Speaker
In the grander scheme of things, the government would be quite happy if you just vanished.
00:32:14
Speaker
Well, that's again part of the patriarchal, I don't want to say misogynistic, that's a deep word, but kind of a patriarchal, chauvinistic way of seeing women as you get a wife to continue your line, to have babies for you.
00:32:27
Speaker
No, and that comes back to us having a better deal.
00:32:30
Speaker
We want men who are eligible to be our partners, who will support us and make us happy, and then we'll be glad to have kids with them.
00:32:38
Speaker
But we're not going to do them as a service to them.
00:32:41
Speaker
Yep.
00:32:42
Speaker
And the concern is never about the quality of life for the child either.
00:32:45
Speaker
It's always about like, what kind of family image can I portray to like impress other men?
00:32:51
Speaker
Their entire like association in society is so homoerotic.
00:32:54
Speaker
It's crazy.
00:32:55
Speaker
Like straight men are not that straight.
00:32:58
Speaker
Why do you think it's homoerotic?
00:33:00
Speaker
I'm curious.
00:33:01
Speaker
Can you explain?
00:33:02
Speaker
Because it's all about like being in competition with other men, like who they seek validation and love and admiration and respect from.
00:33:08
Speaker
It's always other men.
00:33:10
Speaker
Yeah, it tends to be other men.
00:33:12
Speaker
It tends to be other men.
00:33:13
Speaker
Yeah.
00:33:14
Speaker
Well, if I may interject, this is the famous quote from Marilyn Fry about homosociality, which is to say, men are male loving.
00:33:22
Speaker
All of those individuals whom they love, revere, respect, will learn from, will need their legacy to is other men.
00:33:32
Speaker
And women are simply tools or resources used to peacock for other males.
00:33:37
Speaker
Yeah.
00:33:38
Speaker
Goddamn.
00:33:39
Speaker
Right.
00:33:39
Speaker
And I love that quote from her.
00:33:40
Speaker
You know, speaking of ruthlessness, Diana, I come from an extremely patriarchal, misogynistic family lineage.
00:33:50
Speaker
Our father actually referred to himself as pater familias, which if you look that up in the Greek and in the Latin, it refers to a slave holder because the head of the family owned all of those beneath him.
00:34:04
Speaker
Right.
00:34:05
Speaker
Wife, children, they were all his property.
00:34:07
Speaker
So, right.
00:34:08
Speaker
And that is how he helped, you know, he was like a, he was a tyrannical dictator and, Oh, you know what Savannah, is this me just kind of going into a little bit of my background?
00:34:18
Speaker
Can this count for that?
00:34:19
Speaker
Yes, actually, that will segue in nicely.
00:34:21
Speaker
So... Yes, excellent.
00:34:24
Speaker
Sorry for the roundabout.
00:34:26
Speaker
I will introduce our next host, as you've been hearing her nattering away quite nicely in this episode.
00:34:33
Speaker
And we have Rose.
00:34:34
Speaker
Rose is, again, she gave a phenomenal first episode.
00:34:39
Speaker
And she has a really unique perspective being, I don't know, is it... What's the name for people born in the 80s?
00:34:46
Speaker
Is it Gen X?
00:34:48
Speaker
I was just laughing over you all talking about that because I've never been able to figure it out because they stop at like 1980 and I was actually born right there on the cusp between 80 and 81.
00:34:58
Speaker
I'm a little bit of two worlds, you might say, but I was born in the analog era.
00:35:03
Speaker
How about we leave it at that?
00:35:07
Speaker
The pre-Apple Microsoft era.
00:35:09
Speaker
Yes!
00:35:10
Speaker
I believe they call you Xenials.
00:35:12
Speaker
Yeah.
00:35:14
Speaker
Yes, I have heard that the Generation X and Millennials are some of Xeniel, technically speaking.
00:35:19
Speaker
Xeniel.
00:35:19
Speaker
So we have a Xeniel on the podcast for the first time.
00:35:22
Speaker
And yeah, so Rose, take us away with your background.
00:35:27
Speaker
And again, I know you've had this conversation already, but it'll be interesting to get your thoughts, especially somebody who is older and wiser than the other hosts on this podcast.
00:35:38
Speaker
I'm certainly older.
00:35:39
Speaker
I will accept that.
00:35:42
Speaker
About the shift in dating from the time when I guess like you were younger to now.
00:35:46
Speaker
Oh Savannah, seriously.
00:35:47
Speaker
I mean, I am so inspired and encouraged.
00:35:51
Speaker
I'm so heartened by
Impact of FDS and New Perspectives
00:35:53
Speaker
you younger sisters.
00:35:54
Speaker
And it is interesting to be sort of the older woman in this situation because, you know, I still always say that I'm a teen girl in my heart of hearts.
00:36:02
Speaker
I'm still like 13 in my heart of hearts.
00:36:05
Speaker
And I love that about myself because it means that I've maintained, you know, a sort of a lightness of spirit.
00:36:10
Speaker
I've maintained a buoyancy and a resiliency that unfortunately too many of my women sisters my age and older have had it beat out of them.
00:36:18
Speaker
And that's been a very sad journey to see as I've gotten older and older.
00:36:22
Speaker
I'll circle back to that.
00:36:24
Speaker
So as I was telling you all, I grew up in this extremely, you know, misogynistic, patriarchal, hyper-Christian family out in the farmlands of the middle America.
00:36:35
Speaker
So our nearest neighbor was over a kilometer away and they were all farmers.
00:36:39
Speaker
And so I grew up working in the fields, picking rock, babysitting farmers' kids, detasseling corn.
00:36:45
Speaker
I started working when I was eight years old because that's what you do in the farmlands.
00:36:50
Speaker
You work.
00:36:51
Speaker
And I was brought up and I was a very dutiful youngest daughter and I was always so eager to please and I was always very tender hearted.
00:36:58
Speaker
I know one of our neighbors sort of derogatorily nicknamed me precious like oh isn't she so precious.
00:37:04
Speaker
And now I'm like you know what?
00:37:06
Speaker
Aw, cute nickname.
00:37:07
Speaker
I fucking am precious.
00:37:08
Speaker
Hell yeah.
00:37:09
Speaker
So, but it was interesting because in that era that was considered sort of a, oh, you know, she's, isn't she precious?
00:37:16
Speaker
As my brothers would say, oh yeah, you're real special, Rose.
00:37:20
Speaker
You're real special.
00:37:22
Speaker
And-
00:37:22
Speaker
If you were a girly girl and you dared to be one, I didn't even know that I was daring.
00:37:27
Speaker
That's just who I was.
00:37:29
Speaker
Oh my goodness, the vitriol and the disdain that you were met with, the content.
00:37:33
Speaker
And so I had this father who both loved and hated me.
00:37:36
Speaker
He loved that I was, dare I say, brilliant.
00:37:39
Speaker
I'm in the process of finishing up a PhD from a noted school here.
00:37:43
Speaker
Although I don't even actually care at this point because it's just such a circle jerk of men.
00:37:46
Speaker
And let's not get into that.
00:37:48
Speaker
But the point is I had this father who loved my brilliance and also despised my brilliance because as my therapist later told me, she said, you had the biggest dick in that family.
00:37:58
Speaker
Because I was the only one willing to challenge him, right?
00:38:01
Speaker
That's why I think I went into academia for a spell was because it's like, I want to have all the fundamentals.
00:38:06
Speaker
I want to have all the references.
00:38:08
Speaker
I want to be able to argue and win every single argument with this man.
00:38:12
Speaker
He passed before that actually happened.
00:38:15
Speaker
But the point was, this was a real determinant in my upbringing because I thought, you know, I have to beat men at men's games because being a woman was to be lesser.
00:38:27
Speaker
That's how I was brought up.
00:38:29
Speaker
And so when you ask about how dating has been, you know, it's been a real clusterfuck for me because I've lived all over the world.
00:38:37
Speaker
I lived in South America for over six years.
00:38:39
Speaker
I did research there as well as just backpacking and being a hippie, essentially, or a tree hugger, as my father used to call me.
00:38:48
Speaker
Right.
00:38:48
Speaker
But you did not mean that nicely, but I accepted it as that.
00:38:52
Speaker
I was like, yes, I do love trees.
00:38:54
Speaker
That is correct.
00:38:55
Speaker
But so after all this time and seeing, you know, different men from different cultures and different dating, what I kept seeing was this common denominator of like sacrifice and martyrdom of all the women.
00:39:05
Speaker
Because the women that I met around the world are amazing.
00:39:09
Speaker
Like, oh my gosh, I just love travel so much because you really do meet the most phenomenal people.
00:39:13
Speaker
And you realize like, we're all in this together.
00:39:16
Speaker
I hate these borders.
00:39:17
Speaker
I hate these nationalities.
00:39:18
Speaker
I hate passports.
00:39:20
Speaker
Why should I have to have a passport?
00:39:22
Speaker
to traverse the land, right?
00:39:24
Speaker
You don't own people and borders, but yet that's what we've been brought up to think is totally natural.
00:39:30
Speaker
Although it wasn't until I believe it was post-World War II that passports were even enacted.
00:39:35
Speaker
So it hasn't even been a whole century that passports have even existed.
00:39:39
Speaker
And yet we take them as a de facto part of life now, right?
00:39:42
Speaker
So growing up in this family and having older brothers who were
00:39:47
Speaker
One older brother swallowed it hook, line, and sinker.
00:39:50
Speaker
The other basically fled the United States and has never moved back.
00:39:55
Speaker
He's the one I get along with best.
00:39:56
Speaker
And this is all to tie in with Diana's mention of being ruthless because FDS actually helped get me to the point where I cut out the brother who is a misogynist.
00:40:07
Speaker
I mean, this is a man who he's happy that I'm not having children because he thinks that I'm perverted and diseased.
00:40:17
Speaker
because of my beliefs, right?
00:40:19
Speaker
Because I dare to believe that women are equal humans under God, I am a degenerate who should not reproduce.
00:40:29
Speaker
And this is an attitude that's surprisingly common.
00:40:31
Speaker
That's why it's another thing I mentioned about sort of having a whiplash because some men are so mad we're not having kids.
00:40:38
Speaker
And then others are saying, well, good, I'm glad you're not.
00:40:40
Speaker
We don't want your kind reproducing.
00:40:42
Speaker
Although I am an auntie to many, many children, and I'm very active in all of my friends'
00:40:47
Speaker
lives who have children.
00:40:48
Speaker
And that is what I've seen growing up is so many of my friends from high school, they marry their high school sweethearts.
00:40:55
Speaker
The husbands are alcoholics.
00:40:57
Speaker
They beat them.
00:40:58
Speaker
They cheat on them, right?
00:41:00
Speaker
Shit.
00:41:01
Speaker
Their children attempt suicide because they're so miserable living with this kind of father and the women stay.
00:41:08
Speaker
And this has been, I think, the hardest pill for me to swallow as I've gotten only more and more radicalized, right?
00:41:16
Speaker
And these are women whom I love.
00:41:18
Speaker
And we go back 10 years, 20 years, 40 years.
00:41:22
Speaker
My childhood bestie.
00:41:24
Speaker
We go back to being five years old in kindergarten together.
00:41:26
Speaker
I'm now 43.
00:41:28
Speaker
And I can't give them up.
00:41:30
Speaker
I can't shut them out just because I disagree with their life choices.
00:41:33
Speaker
Because if anybody understands, it's I who comes from that same background, who was brought up in this, you know, miasma, in this swamp of just women hatred.
00:41:42
Speaker
I don't know if our...
00:41:44
Speaker
younger sisters understand there was a quote once was germaine greer and she said something like if women understood how much men hate us they would act very differently but it's too painful to actually accept it and so i think that was andrea dworkin yeah i remember that yeah was that andrea dworkin yeah it was dworkin okay and who is one of my great grand liberators as far as
00:42:14
Speaker
I would say Dworkin and bell hooks have been like equally important for me.
00:42:18
Speaker
R.I.P.
00:42:19
Speaker
Both queens.
00:42:20
Speaker
Yeah.
00:42:20
Speaker
Right.
00:42:21
Speaker
Amazing women.
00:42:22
Speaker
And I'm trying to work up the courage when it came that FDA was looking for new hosts.
00:42:27
Speaker
You know, all my friends are so encouraging and they're so supportive of me.
00:42:31
Speaker
And some of them have managed to leave their men and some of them are in the process of trying to separate and divorce because they're getting into their 30s and 40s now.
00:42:38
Speaker
And they're like, is this really my life?
00:42:40
Speaker
And I'm back here like, no, this doesn't need to be your life.
00:42:42
Speaker
life can be so different.
00:42:43
Speaker
Life can be so wonderful.
00:42:46
Speaker
Like I'll help you.
00:42:46
Speaker
I've got resources, you know, like, cause I always have a list of different resources for women trying to escape financial abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse.
00:42:54
Speaker
You know, women need so much support to leave these situations and they often don't have the faintest clue where to find it.
00:43:01
Speaker
So I take it upon myself to always have sort of like a document that I've kept.
00:43:06
Speaker
So I can point my sisters out to where they need to go for help.
00:43:09
Speaker
But when FDS announced that they were looking for new hosts and I said to my friends, like, I'm kind of thinking about doing this.
00:43:14
Speaker
I mean, the response was overwhelming that they were like, how dare you even hesitate?
00:43:18
Speaker
So my friends were all saying, you are made for this rose.
00:43:20
Speaker
This is a sign from the universe.
00:43:22
Speaker
Cause I always believe in the science from the universe, right?
00:43:24
Speaker
Like the universe talks to me.
00:43:26
Speaker
It has done amazing things for me.
00:43:27
Speaker
And lo and behold, here we are.
00:43:29
Speaker
And so the women like Andrea Dworkin,
00:43:32
Speaker
bell hooks, my hope is eventually that I can believe enough in myself to start writing and publishing my writings about women's liberation.
00:43:41
Speaker
I haven't gotten the courage yet.
00:43:43
Speaker
This is my first step in actually becoming a voice publicly.
00:43:47
Speaker
Privately, of course, I'm a zealot, but it's been a long journey for me and it's still ongoing for me to believe and trust that my voice is worthy and that I have things that ought to be said.
00:43:58
Speaker
I
Future Plans and Community Engagement
00:43:59
Speaker
for one think that Rose is a super eloquent and inspiring speaker and I would love to hear more of what you have to say.
00:44:06
Speaker
Thank you so much.
00:44:07
Speaker
Thank you.
00:44:08
Speaker
Thank you.
00:44:08
Speaker
And it ties in nicely as well with our plans for the blog.
00:44:12
Speaker
Cause one thing that we really miss, I say the Royal We, but me and Rose,
00:44:17
Speaker
And someone's stent like Lilith as well, when we last spoken, was that we miss, you know, the strategy side of FDS, the theory side of FDS.
00:44:26
Speaker
Writing the strategy post is something that we really, really miss doing.
00:44:30
Speaker
So I'm sure you will definitely find a home in the FDS blog for sure to share your writings with the world if you wanted to.
00:44:39
Speaker
Thank you.
00:44:39
Speaker
Actually, just before we got on, I was reading Feminist Realism, an introduction with Lilith, because that's one of the things that really drew me to FDS was not just the back and forth, the actual conversation among women, but the writing was so good.
00:44:54
Speaker
I wish I could remember some of the names of those who are like the most prolific writers on FDS, but I'll have to go back because honestly, the women who are writing and publishing were a huge inspiration for me when I started that journey.
00:45:07
Speaker
Definitely.
00:45:08
Speaker
Okay, last but not least, we have Diana.
00:45:12
Speaker
I will say Diana's episode was not published, unfortunately, because we had a technical issue whilst recording.
00:45:19
Speaker
But Diana was another one who brought such a unique perspective and energy to the podcast as well.
00:45:25
Speaker
And I was really, really excited to onboard this.
00:45:28
Speaker
And just to give you an idea of the amount of competition when we were doing this round, we were originally only going to have two additional hosts, but we were just so impressed with the three of them that we just added an extra one as well, because we felt that all of them had something unique to offer as well.
00:45:44
Speaker
Yay!
00:45:45
Speaker
Yay us!
00:45:46
Speaker
Whee!
00:45:49
Speaker
Yes.
00:45:50
Speaker
So Diana, the floor is yours.
00:45:52
Speaker
Introduce yourself.
00:45:54
Speaker
It's obviously very flattering to know that I made the cut because I know that it was an extremely long process and there were probably so many applicants.
00:46:04
Speaker
So, you know, to be able to now finally be part of the podcast with everyone else is just, it's incredible.
00:46:10
Speaker
Because I think, you know, I started listening to the podcast probably when it first came out like years ago.
00:46:15
Speaker
I don't know who else had the story of like riding their bike and listening to a podcast.
00:46:19
Speaker
That was me too.
00:46:20
Speaker
Was that Rose?
00:46:21
Speaker
Sweet.
00:46:21
Speaker
No, that was me, Patricia.
00:46:22
Speaker
Yeah.
00:46:24
Speaker
That was you?
00:46:24
Speaker
Yeah, it was the same.
00:46:25
Speaker
Like, I think I found FDS through Reddit.
00:46:29
Speaker
And then when they said they had a podcast, I just added it.
00:46:32
Speaker
And it just felt like I was listening to very sensible friends, you know, people who would have told, called me out on my shit and told me, hey, you're self-sabotaging and like,
00:46:40
Speaker
you know, this isn't actually helpful to what you want from life.
00:46:43
Speaker
And I think that when you're surrounded by people who just enable you, and I mean, sometimes it's not even really their fault because so much of the advice we get as women is to enable men's bullshit.
00:46:52
Speaker
And so then when you have friends who aren't in that same FDS space as you are, or they're not there yet, the advice you get is very stupid.
00:46:59
Speaker
And so I felt like I was just in this path where I took a break from dating, which came around the same time COVID did.
00:47:06
Speaker
So it actually worked out because I was like, yeah, there's no way that I can break my will.
00:47:10
Speaker
Because it was always like, you know, I would fall off the wagon and then I would like download Hinge again.
00:47:15
Speaker
And then I'd be like, no, you have to try.
00:47:17
Speaker
You have to make an effort.
00:47:19
Speaker
And the options were so bad.
00:47:20
Speaker
And I think that it's one of those things where it's like, I don't know, it's like Hinge is like prison food.
00:47:24
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:47:25
Speaker
Like the more you eat that garbage, the more you start thinking it's like fine dining after a point because that's all you have.
00:47:30
Speaker
So like you go back on these apps and you're like, ordinarily, if I met this guy on the street, I'd probably reject him.
00:47:36
Speaker
But because I'm being offered like a whole bunch of people, I'm like, okay, he's not the worst of all of the other terrible ones I've seen.
00:47:41
Speaker
So you just convince yourself to settle.
00:47:43
Speaker
It's just a game of settling.
00:47:45
Speaker
And I just knew somewhere that like it just wasn't making me happy, you know, and so I had to stop and I took the time off.
00:47:51
Speaker
And that was when I was starting to listen to the podcast.
00:47:53
Speaker
And
00:47:54
Speaker
It was just great advice, you know, and also I always enjoyed the guest episodes as well, because I just feel like there was always a variety of people to listen to.
00:48:03
Speaker
And I just felt really validated by the fact that so many people had different backgrounds in education, different backgrounds and lifestyle just came from different parts of the world, different ages.
00:48:12
Speaker
And they all were echoing really similar thoughts to what I was feeling at that time.
00:48:16
Speaker
And so for me, you know, when they announced last year that they were looking for a host, I was always telling my friend, I was like, oh my God, like if there was any podcast I'd want to be on, it would be this one.
00:48:25
Speaker
And so when it came out, I was like, oh my God, yes, I am going to throw my hat in the ring.
00:48:30
Speaker
Like, you know, I'm a person who like talks myself out of things and then actually like ends up going for it because I'm like, oh, what do I have to lose?
00:48:36
Speaker
So I kind of did it with like, oh, what do I have to lose?
00:48:38
Speaker
Like, you know, if I get it, it's just going to be a really great thing.
00:48:41
Speaker
It's just going to be an experience I'm going to really enjoy.
00:48:44
Speaker
So there's nothing I have to lose from doing this.
00:48:46
Speaker
And I'm glad that I actually applied.
00:48:49
Speaker
And we are really glad you applied as well.
00:48:51
Speaker
And, you know, like you said, there's nothing to lose from doing it, but there is a whole lot to be gained as well.
00:48:57
Speaker
And that is one thing that we'd like to bring back.
00:48:59
Speaker
We would like to bring back more guest hosts as well, because especially the first...
00:49:04
Speaker
year to 18 months of the podcast we have some really really awesome guests so if you have any suggestions for who you would like on the pod please let us know in the discord or email or whatever and we will try to make it happen because I just feel like they just bring such an interesting dynamic to the podcast and I always found it was really quite humbling when they would agree to come on to our little podcast to give up some of their time
00:49:30
Speaker
Remember Gail Dines?
00:49:32
Speaker
Gail Dines, we had Judge Lynn Tola.
00:49:34
Speaker
I don't get starstruck by people.
00:49:37
Speaker
I'm not really into celebrity culture, but I was starstruck by Gail Dines, by Lynn Tola, by Lindy Bancroft, because these were people that I'd grown up, you know, reading or hearing.
00:49:47
Speaker
And then just being able to have a conversation with them was just awesome.
00:49:51
Speaker
The Lindy Bancroft episode is probably one of my favorite episodes.
00:49:55
Speaker
Yeah, that one was a, that one was a, that was a whopper.
00:49:59
Speaker
I was so surprised we could get him, to be honest.
00:50:02
Speaker
And it was also worth temporarily suspending the no males rule.
00:50:09
Speaker
You know, but also it goes to show how important the work is that you're doing because it's resonating with people who have been in the space a really long time offering sound advice to women, you know?
00:50:20
Speaker
And agreeing as well.
00:50:21
Speaker
Yeah.
00:50:22
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:50:23
Speaker
And if anything, maybe we need to have like an ongoing Lundy Bancroft appearance invite, right?
00:50:28
Speaker
Like a standing invite because I think, unfortunately, you know, we have been brought up to be male-centered.
00:50:33
Speaker
It is what we have been, it is how we have been trained to think, which is very difficult to change.
00:50:39
Speaker
So there is nothing that reassures women more than hearing a man in a position of authority repeat and agree with what you are thinking and saying.
00:50:48
Speaker
It carries a weight that nothing else will.
00:50:51
Speaker
I agree.
00:50:52
Speaker
And also, I really resonate with the appreciation that we have for the guests that were on FDS.
00:50:59
Speaker
And like you mentioned, Judge Lingt.
00:51:01
Speaker
Am I pronouncing right?
00:51:01
Speaker
Toler?
00:51:02
Speaker
I still quote to myself and to my friends something that she left as this resonating last message.
00:51:09
Speaker
Don't invest in one area of your life to the detriment of others.
00:51:13
Speaker
And I think that is so beautiful to see us as multidisciplinary, like multifaceted beings.
00:51:20
Speaker
I really like that.
00:51:21
Speaker
Yeah.
00:51:22
Speaker
And I think it's also great because at the end of the day, like, I don't want a dysfunctional, angry, unhealthy person agreeing with me.
00:51:31
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:51:34
Speaker
Because that's telling me that I have reached an angry, unhealthy space.
00:51:38
Speaker
But when you have like functional people who are experts in their field telling you, hey, your thought process is actually quite sound and logical and you're acting in your own best interest.
00:51:47
Speaker
That's really reaffirming because I don't want to be self-sabotaging, especially in something as important as selecting a life partner or selecting someone to date.
00:51:55
Speaker
You know, the thing is we can't afford to make mistakes.
00:51:59
Speaker
you know, in this process.
00:52:00
Speaker
And we can't be as whimsical as men.
00:52:03
Speaker
And that's the thing, like men are approaching dating entirely differently from us because they only stand to gain, whereas we really stand to lose.
00:52:10
Speaker
And so I think FDS has come up with a system where we like, what was it?
00:52:15
Speaker
Maximizing female benefit, female benefit, female benefit.
00:52:19
Speaker
Exactly.
00:52:20
Speaker
You know, the crazy thing is maximizing female benefit is actually what ends up evening out the scales.
00:52:26
Speaker
That's actually the most equitable approach, you know?
00:52:30
Speaker
That's the new feminism.
00:52:31
Speaker
That's the new feminism.
00:52:33
Speaker
And it is the future we have to carve out as a global people, because we are looking at incoming water wars.
00:52:40
Speaker
We're looking at extreme climate refugees becoming more and more of an issue.
00:52:45
Speaker
We're going to be losing coastline, which is the most densely populated area in the entire planet.
00:52:50
Speaker
This is going to be huge.
00:52:51
Speaker
This is really a tipping point.
00:52:52
Speaker
I do believe this in my heart.
00:52:54
Speaker
We're at a tipping point between white gold, which is water, and black gold, which is oil, climate change, and gender.
00:53:02
Speaker
This is the crux of our times.
00:53:04
Speaker
And why do you think these issues are more important for women or more detrimental for women?
00:53:09
Speaker
Basically, the canary in the coal mine.
00:53:12
Speaker
We are always going to be the ones who are disadvantaged and more vulnerable in these situations of famine, of war, because not only do we require particular kinds of medical care, but we can always get pregnant.
00:53:22
Speaker
We can die in labor.
00:53:24
Speaker
We can have issues postpartum.
00:53:26
Speaker
The list goes on and on and on.
00:53:27
Speaker
And so I feel like if we start to look at it, like you say, if we start to have
00:53:33
Speaker
maximized female benefits.
00:53:35
Speaker
And in fact, it benefits the entire globe.
00:53:38
Speaker
Yep.
00:53:39
Speaker
The thing is, if we live in an unstable society, then women are the ones who stand to lose because even in war and famine, it's men who end up taking advantage of the vulnerable.
00:53:50
Speaker
So we stand to risk a lot by letting men do whatever the fuck they want.
00:53:54
Speaker
So true.
00:53:55
Speaker
It's so true.
00:53:56
Speaker
you know, and that extends to our dating life, really.
00:53:59
Speaker
Yes, absolutely.
00:54:00
Speaker
I think it actually everything grows from that seed, right?
00:54:04
Speaker
It's either a seed that can sprout a healthy ecosystem or a rotten one.
00:54:09
Speaker
And that's why, as Diana is saying, it is the most important decision we can make.
00:54:14
Speaker
Now, listen, I could keep talking with you all day long, but I know we do have some time constraints.
00:54:19
Speaker
And Savannah, I also heard you say in the beginning of the podcast that
00:54:23
Speaker
that you had some updates for us concerning what you and Ro were pivoting towards.
00:54:28
Speaker
Could you give us a bit of a preview of that?
00:54:31
Speaker
Yes.
00:54:32
Speaker
So we have now got the host in place, which is really exciting.
00:54:37
Speaker
So the plan is that Diana and Rose will be doing the main episodes moving forwards.
00:54:43
Speaker
And myself and Patricia will be doing the bonus content because, again, we've been really slacking on the bonus content.
00:54:50
Speaker
So we will be bringing that back.
00:54:53
Speaker
for you all, which will be exciting.
00:54:55
Speaker
Yay!
00:54:57
Speaker
Like, Ro will dip in from time to time, but the plan is for Ro and I to take a more backstage
00:55:03
Speaker
approach and do things in the background to hopefully grow the brand even more this year as well so we're gonna hopefully relaunch a blog on the website so we'll actually have like strategy posts again and theory posts which are really popular yeah i think my favorite one actually go slight pivot was the dick size does matter post because
00:55:25
Speaker
the queen the queen who wrote that just her way of words and her imagery i'll try and find the bonus or the episode where we read out on the podcast but i couldn't even finish it without laughing but that but it's true we're allowed to have preferences yeah
00:55:51
Speaker
Joke so sad, I was just talking to my partner about that yesterday, that some women actually prefer smaller, average, but that's their preference.
00:56:01
Speaker
I mean, but again, though, but like women have been gaslit into believing that, you know, size doesn't matter or it's about the person, yada, yada, yada.
00:56:09
Speaker
And it's like, well, actually, to some degree, I'm not saying it's everything, but it does, you know, matter.
00:56:16
Speaker
Just like anything else to do with, you know, like just like the male look, for example, looks do matter to a certain extent.
00:56:22
Speaker
I'm not saying it has to be everything, but it does matter.
00:56:24
Speaker
Yeah.
00:56:24
Speaker
And we're allowed to do, it's not body shaming, it's preferences.
00:56:29
Speaker
Yeah.
00:56:29
Speaker
It depends on a woman's physiology as well.
00:56:31
Speaker
The way her cervix is tilted.
00:56:32
Speaker
I mean, this is all biological, right?
00:56:35
Speaker
Of course.
00:56:35
Speaker
Exactly.
00:56:36
Speaker
Exactly.
00:56:37
Speaker
And there is a lid for every pot as well.
00:56:39
Speaker
So I don't know why the men were getting mad.
00:56:42
Speaker
The reaction to that was pretty wild.
00:56:44
Speaker
Yeah.
00:56:45
Speaker
You know, men will go on and on about like biological destiny.
00:56:49
Speaker
But honestly, the only biological destiny women need to follow is that you can be as demanding and set the bar as high as you want.
00:56:56
Speaker
You have the right to do that.
00:56:57
Speaker
And that's your biological destiny.
00:56:59
Speaker
They have to just put up with it.
00:57:01
Speaker
They don't get a say.
00:57:02
Speaker
They don't.
00:57:03
Speaker
It's not only that you get to do that.
00:57:05
Speaker
You have to do that.
00:57:07
Speaker
You have to be picky.
00:57:08
Speaker
Yep.
00:57:08
Speaker
Yep.
00:57:09
Speaker
Okay, so that is our new host.
00:57:11
Speaker
I am really excited to have them on board and for them to share their knowledge and expertise and to bring just a different flavor to the podcast.
00:57:19
Speaker
And I sincerely hope that you will support the three of them just as much as you supported Ro, Lilith and I.
00:57:27
Speaker
when we first started out as well.
00:57:29
Speaker
As I said before, Ro and I will still be around.
00:57:32
Speaker
I'll be on the bonus content, which will be released every Friday.
00:57:36
Speaker
And Ro will dip in and out as and when her schedule allows for it.
00:57:40
Speaker
She's just insanely busy at the moment.
00:57:42
Speaker
So this isn't the last of Ro and I and hopefully Lily.
00:57:45
Speaker
But at the same time, it will give the podcast the consistency that it deserves because we really, really miss recording and producing content for you all.
00:57:54
Speaker
So we are really excited to have a bigger host team.
00:57:57
Speaker
And yeah, if you have any questions, comments, suggestions for the new hosts as well, please let us know in the comments or the show notes or on discord or via email.
00:58:06
Speaker
So check us out on Patreon at www.patreon.com forward slash the female dating strategy.
00:58:16
Speaker
I am also around on X still for some reason.
00:58:20
Speaker
You can find me at Savannah underscore FDS.
00:58:21
Speaker
You can also find the female dating strategy as well on X to revive that account.
00:58:28
Speaker
There's a lot happening on X actually.
00:58:30
Speaker
And I thought it has gone down the shitter since Muskrat has been in power, but there's just something that is weirdly addicting about it.
00:58:37
Speaker
So I'm still unfortunately around just less of it.
00:58:40
Speaker
I limit my time on there.
00:58:42
Speaker
And yeah, we will see you next week.
00:58:45
Speaker
And for all you scrotes out there.
00:58:46
Speaker
Yeah, to all those scrotes, die mad.
00:58:49
Speaker
And to all of our sisters, be reborn.
00:58:52
Speaker
See you next week.