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4. The One With the Kmart Book Find
33 Plays13 days ago
In today’s solo episode, I’m diving deep into something that’s been sitting close to my heart lately—gratitude. Yep, that simple, often underestimated mindset shift that can change the way we see the world.
After recently devouring The Resilience Project by Hugh van Cuylenburg (picked it up randomly in Kmart—don’t you love those finds?), I was reminded just how powerful focusing on the good can be. I chat about Hugh’s journey, what he learned teaching in India, and how that led to his work with elite athletes and the creation of The Resilience Project, grounded in the G.E.M. principles—Gratitude, Empathy, and Mindfulness.
I chat about:
- Why I normally lean towards fiction (hello, fantasy lovers!), but this book pulled me right in
- How gratitude literally rewires your brain
- Practical ways I’ve been incorporating gratitude into our family life and mindfulness sessions
- The adorable “dis, dis!” story from the book that stuck with me
- Why we need to stop waiting for the “perfect” life to feel happy, and start seeing what’s good now
Plus, I’m giving you a little “homework”—a gentle nudge to find 2–3 things you’re grateful for each day and actually say them out loud, write them down, or share them with someone you love.
This one’s for the educators, mums, and busy women who need a little nudge back to the present moment. Let’s start seeing the Red Mazdas (you’ll get it when you listen 😉) and lean into the good that’s already here.
Links & Mentions:
- The Resilience Project – Official Website
- Book: The Resilience Project by Hugh van Cuylenburg
Let’s Connect:
If today’s episode resonated, I’d love to hear your thoughts or what you’re grateful for. Share with me on Instagram @mindfuleducatorpodcast or tag me in your gratitude wins!
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Transcript
Introduction and Listener Appreciation
00:00:37
Victoria R
Hello everyone. Welcome back to the mindful educator podcast. I just wanted to start off by saying a very, very big thank you to everyone that has taken the time to listen to the podcast since it's been released.
00:00:50
Victoria R
um that has commented on the episodes and come up to have a chat to me about it. I must admit, I'm still finding it a little weird that me sitting here in my office is now out there for everyone to listen to.
00:01:03
Victoria R
so if I'm like, oh, thank you, I am getting more used to it, but it is still a very foreign feeling. But thank you so, so much.
Book Highlight: 'The Resilience Project'
00:01:12
Victoria R
It has been overwhelming in the best way how much support there has been since the podcast has been released and how many conversations it's helped spark as well i think that's been um the best part for me the fact that um yeah just everyone knowing that you're not alone we're all fighting our own battles and we've all got a lot going on behind the scenes and it is nice to speak about it though and to know that there's other people out there kind of with you so a very big thank you
00:01:42
Victoria R
And I wanted to chat today about book that I have read recently and absolutely loved it. so with me and like I love reading and I love fiction books. I'm very much into the whole fantasy genre, all that type of thing. I absolutely froth it But nonfiction books, I must admit, I do struggle a little bit sometimes to get into them, even though I know how beneficial they are and how um much information you can get from it. I must admit when I'm at the end of the day, it's those, you know, when I'm tucked up in bed, i usually just go for the fixed one because it means I can switch off.
00:02:20
Victoria R
But the last few weeks I've kind of, i go through bursts where I just need this, yeah, to kind of get all the knowledge possible, like you know, you know what it's like, the ebbs and flows of life. So I'm like, right, we're going with it.
00:02:32
Victoria R
And i picked up um the Resilience Project when I was in Kmart the other day. And I was like, right, this looks pretty good. Sit down, have a read. Like it looks, you this is the sort of thing that I do. And I've heard of the Resilience Project before and I've checked out the website, but I just never read the book. I don't know why. It's just one of those things that I hadn't done.
00:02:51
Victoria R
So I wasn't feeling 100% the other day. I went to bed quite early and I reckon I devoured this book in a couple of hours. Yeah. I ended up reading the whole thing and I was like, oh my gosh, this is brilliant.
00:03:06
Victoria R
So the author, if you haven't read the book, the author, Hugh, he talks about um pretty much how there were different um mental health issues occurring in his family.
00:03:19
Victoria R
And at the time, he didn't realize the severity of them. And then as he got older and of his girlfriends at the time was like, let's go to India because he was a teacher. And he's like, let's go to India and teach.
00:03:31
Victoria R
And when he was over there, he realized that even though a lot of those children over there maybe don't have as much as what we do in the Western world, that they were so happy and so thankful for everything that they did have. And so it kind of got him thinking, you know, there's obviously something to this.
00:03:48
Victoria R
And so from there, the Resilience Project kind of came about.
Core Themes: Gratitude, Empathy, Mindfulness
00:03:52
Victoria R
And it's a really interesting read and it's amazing the sort of people that he's worked with as well. so He's worked with a lot of the NRL and AFL teams, with Cricket Australia, like lots of big names out there.
00:04:05
Victoria R
um i actually gave the book to my husband after, i'm like and he's not much of a reader, but I'm like, I really think you should probably try and read this just because it's really interesting to hear who he has actually worked with and how it's helped them.
00:04:18
Victoria R
So he has created kind of organically, it's just one of those things that has kind stemmed from him doing talks and presentations and whatnot. He's created the Resilience Project and there's a website for it. Obviously, he's got the book.
00:04:32
Victoria R
um I'm hoping to read the second book really soon as well. Apparently, that is just as good. So he has created this and he's got um one of their key principles is gems.
00:04:46
Victoria R
from... What that stands for is your gratitude, your empathy and your mindfulness. So they're the three key focuses that the Resilience Project has.
Research on Gratitude and Mental Health
00:04:56
Victoria R
And I really wanted to focus on gratitude today because this is one that I've been trying to do with my own children as well.
00:05:06
Victoria R
just in a really simple way, kind of at dinner at each night, we talk about, you know, the favourite thing in our day or something good that happened today. ah do sometimes ask them around story time when we're in bed. I'm like, oh, what was the favourite part your day to today?
00:05:20
Victoria R
Just to try and get them to have that positive before they head off to sleep. And it's really interesting the research that goes into showing if you are focusing on gratitude, how that kind of has um that flow-on effect that And it's so fascinating. So research has shown that those people that are showing consistent grateful like gratitude, so not just once off, but are consistently grateful for what they have in their life, have found to be happier for a start, more hopeful, more helpful, more empathetic, ah more forgiving, less materialistic and more energetic as well. So there's actually been a lot of research going into this.
00:06:04
Victoria R
And it also means that they're less likely to be depressed, anxious, lonely, all the rest of it. so there has been research shown that showing gratitude is better for your mental health, essentially. All right. so it makes sense, though, when you look at it from um a neuroscience point of view, it actually does make a lot of sense.
00:06:28
Victoria R
So When it comes to creating new habits, you've got your neural pathways and your neural pathways are pretty much connections of repetitive thoughts. So that's that's essentially your habits.
00:06:39
Victoria R
So the more you do something, the more this pathway kind of wears in and then you do things without even realising. So in terms of gratitude, if you start implementing it as a daily practice, if you start focusing on the positives in your life, what you're grateful for, for then over time, your brain is pretty much becoming trained to focus on the positives. It's becoming a default response for you.
00:07:07
Victoria R
And this whole, it's just, it's really fascinating. Like I said, I love how our brains work. And I love the fact that we know so much about this now as well. So kind of comes down to, i don't know if you've heard the saying, where your attention go, your energy flows, right? That is essentially what's happening. So if you're focusing all your attention on the things that have gone wrong.
00:07:29
Victoria R
So if you're focusing on the fact that, oh, this happened today and that happened today and that happened and my life is crap and blah, blah, blah, blah. blah Well, that's where your energy is going. So of course, you're not going to be able to see the positives.
00:07:41
Victoria R
And therefore, there is probably, yeah, a much higher chance that you will be finding that you're suffering from depression or anxiety or whatever it might be. And I'm not saying this is like that they're not legitimate things that happen because they are, but this is just ah one thing that can help improve that.
00:07:57
Victoria R
So if we kind of try and switch that a little bit, all right, and focus our attention on the good in our life, well, what's going to happen as a natural consequence of that is we're going to start seeing more good in everything that we're doing.
00:08:13
Victoria R
You're going to start seeing those positives everywhere. And even if things maybe don't go right, if you do have, you know, ah day or whatever it might be or something's happened, It doesn't mean that you're not going to be able to see that for it. It just means that you might be able to see the positive that has come from that, that it's not going to completely derail you if something does go wrong.
00:08:35
Victoria R
right Because once again, where your attention goes, your energy is going to flow. And a good example of this is if you're looking for a new car and just say you want a Redmaster or something, i don't know, just put that out of the air.
00:08:45
Victoria R
But just say you want a Redmaster. I don't even know what type of Mazdas there That's how much I know about cars. But then all of a sudden, you start seeing Redmasdas everywhere. You start seeing these these cars that you want.
00:08:58
Victoria R
Every time you go out, you're like, oh, there's one those cars again. I haven't seen these cars before. Now, all of a sudden they're everywhere. Well, they're not everywhere. They were always there. It's just your attention wasn't on them.
00:09:09
Victoria R
So you never noticed them. So if you're therefore focusing only on the negatives, well, guess what? That's all you're going to say If you're focusing on the gratitude and the positive, guess what?
Daily Gratitude Practices
00:09:21
Victoria R
That's what you're going to see. yeah All right. So will notice, especially, you know, different times in your life when maybe you've got engaged and then all of a sudden it seems like everyone's engaged. You've seen engaged couples everywhere and you see, mind you, part of it is probably the Facebook algorithm. Let's be honest here.
00:09:38
Victoria R
ah in like In terms of things, it's just your attention is there. right. That's where the energy is going. That's what you're happening see. So gratitude is also really good in that it also helps us move the move away from like, oh, once I have this, will be happy.
00:09:58
Victoria R
So once I have enough money, I'll be happy. Once I have this promotion, I'll be happy. Once my life is perfect, I can finally relax and be happy. Because then we're never really going to be happy, are we?
00:10:12
Victoria R
We're never content with what we've got right now in this moment. And this is also kind of part of the mindfulness side of things coming into it here as well. So instead of kind of constantly going, oh, I'll be happy when, let's just focus on what we do have now.
00:10:29
Victoria R
Let's see those positives of what we've got right now. Okay, maybe you don't have a bigger house, but do you have a house? Do you have a home? How amazing is that?
00:10:39
Victoria R
There are some people out there that may not, which in this day and age is a very real possibility. You know, so focus on the fact that, oh, yes, I've got a home and my home is filled with laughter because, you know, of my children or maybe they're just fighting. I don't know, whatever happens.
00:10:55
Victoria R
ah But try to focus on those positives there instead of saying, oh, I'll do this and when I lose the weight. Just do it now. goodness sakes, just do it now. Who knows when that weight's going to be lost, even if it is, whether it does or doesn't come off, just do what you want to do now because what happens if, you know, you don't have much time?
00:11:13
Victoria R
don't know, just putting it out there. You know, when I get a better job, I'll be happy. Well, let's find the positives of the job that you're in now, right? Let's find that gratitude for the fact that you have a job.
00:11:24
Victoria R
Again, there's a lot of people that don't. The fact that you may have a regular income coming in, that is amazing, right? So focusing on the positives. And so another thing in the book, The Resilience Project, was um one of the boys that he met when he was over in India.
00:11:42
Victoria R
um Oh, his name evades me right now. It starts with an S, I'm pretty sure. That's what my brain is like. um And this little boy, he would sit there and go, dis, dis, dis, you know. he For example, you know, something have positive happened and like this, this.
00:12:01
Victoria R
and because he couldn't say this properly, he said this instead. And so every time something happened that he was grateful for, who was just like this. He said it out loud in that moment. And he was grateful for whatever had happened.
00:12:15
Victoria R
So was one of those things reading where it's like, it doesn't have to be a complicated process. We don't have to sit down every single night and write,
00:12:26
Victoria R
pages and pages of what we're um grateful for, we can literally just in the moment go, this, this is what I'm grateful for. And finding those little moments all throughout our day as well.
00:12:39
Victoria R
And if we do want to write it down at the end of the day, suggested to write at least three things each day. So try and find three things that you're grateful for each day to focus on.
00:12:51
Victoria R
And what happens is once we start doing this and we start doing it as a regular process, our brains are naturally going to rewire themselves so that we do begin to see more of the positive, more of the good in our life as well.
00:13:07
Victoria R
right, so if we really take it in, if we really take in all the good that we have, all the positives, it's going to help reduce that fear or that shame or that fixation of things that we don't have. We're going to be grateful for what we do have right now.
00:13:23
Victoria R
And even if things are looking pretty bleak at times, it's still something that we can focus the good on. Look at the people in your life. All right, look at what you have in your life.
00:13:35
Victoria R
Look at what you're able to do with your life. You know, focusing on all these positives and gratitude that's not going to naturally stem from that as well. And they do say that the more grateful you are, it also means that you're going to be more empathetic, more kind, more And let's be honest, we need as much of that at the moment as possible.
00:13:57
Victoria R
All right. So like I said, it's going to retrain our brain. We're going to try things in new ways. And it's hopefully going to mean that as you are focusing more on the positives, you're goingnna start seeing the positives more.
00:14:10
Victoria R
And that's a real good vibe. Everyone loves that. So if you're not sure what gratitude is, it's pretty much just being really thankful, really aware. right.
00:14:21
Victoria R
of everything that you have in your life that is positive. Essentially, it's that's what it is. It's nothing complicated. And it means that we're probably going to have to challenge ourselves quite a bit to do this because as humans, we kind of are hard hardwired a little bit to focus on the negatives and the perceived danger and all the rest of it. It's like a bit of a survival instinct kicking in there.
00:14:47
Victoria R
um But it's one that isn't not necessarily needed as much these days, but it's still obviously at different times will kick in. But it's still something that our bodies are just wired to do our minds are just wired to do. So if we try and shift that attention and focus on that gratitude that we're really hoping to bring in, then hopefully over time, as your brain hardwires and changes, it will become really natural to you.
00:15:15
Victoria R
Now, this is something that I do a lot in the mindfulness sessions as well. We do try and focus quite a lot on gratitude um in different ways. I know we've done things like friends that we're grateful for. We've done obviously people in our family that we're grateful for. We try and focus on good things that have happened throughout the day.
00:15:34
Victoria R
And this is something and that is easily done with any children in your life as well. So it doesn't, like said, doesn't have to be complicated. It can just be a conversation. i do it with my three when we're sitting around the dinner table and before bed each night, as I mentioned previously.
00:15:47
Victoria R
And there are lots of different ways. There's heaps of gratitude journals and things out there if um that's kind of your jam. um Otherwise, like I said, just have a conversation. Just have, all right, quick, tell me something you're grateful for.
00:15:59
Victoria R
If you're in the classroom and before the kids um leave for the end of the day or even at recess or lunch or whenever it might be, just be like, right, tell me one thing that you're happy or grateful for that's happened today. It really is as simple as that.
00:16:12
Victoria R
And we can start doing it for ourselves too. And if we want to take it even further as adults, I know pretty much all of us have our phones on us at all times. So one thing you can start doing is even writing it in the notes section of your phone.
00:16:26
Victoria R
Just start writing down the things that you're grateful for each day. And even if it's the same thing over and over again, that's okay. right. But then you've kind of got that evidence there as well. And if you're having a bit of a crap day, you can go back and go, right.
00:16:38
Victoria R
Yeah, um this is true. This is what I'm grateful for. And you can go back through that list and it can be a really good reminder to you as well. of what you do have. And that abundance in your life, just thinking about how much you actually do have.
00:16:51
Victoria R
Instead of focusing on what you don't have, let's focus and put that attention into what we do have. And then you'll feel so abundant. And then you're kind of almost coming from overflow once you you get to that point where you're like, oh, yeah,
00:17:04
Victoria R
You know, I've got more to give other people now. I've got more energy. I've got more focus. I've got more happy vibes to pass on to other people. And there's a real flow on effect from it too.
00:17:15
Victoria R
And I could get really wooing you and start talking about energetics and stuff, but I'll save that one for another day. It's so funny. I was talking to my husband about it the other day. And honestly, the look he gave me was hilarious.
00:17:28
Victoria R
And I'm like, don't worry, you'll get it. and So like I said, I'll save that one. So anyway, my mission for you, call it your little homework task because there's a teacher in me coming out.
00:17:40
Victoria R
I would love for you to focus every day on finding at least, at least two to three things that you are grateful for every day. And it doesn't have to be at the end of the day. It can be throughout the day.
00:17:54
Victoria R
And I want you just to either say it to yourself, say this, I'm grateful for this. I want you to either write it down, whether it be a journal or something else, or put it in the notes section of your phone or even share it with someone.
00:18:07
Victoria R
All right. So like i said, share it with your children if you want to or your partner or your friends. All right. Even tell people. You can say, I'm so grateful for you. Thank you. you know, how often do we say to to another person that we're grateful for them? and It's such a rare thing for us to do. And imagine being on the receiving end of that.
00:18:25
Victoria R
That will probably light them up as well. And then they'll be like, oh, I'm so grateful that you're grateful for me. sorry keep that in mind as you're doing this as well.
Challenge: Finding Daily Gratitude
00:18:34
Victoria R
Like we can pass these vibes on to other people too.
00:18:38
Victoria R
So like I said, that's your little homework task. I love to hear how you go. I'm going to make sure I do it as well. and it Like I said, it is something that we we do definitely touch on in our house, but it is something I would like to make more of an effort to um get really into a routine with, um to make sure that, yeah, it's something I'm choosing at least three things because usually I choose like one or two, but I'm like, no, three, especially, you know, on those harder days, it can be really tricky to try and find it, but it can be done.
00:19:08
Victoria R
Anyway, that's your task. I love to hear how you go. um Once again, thanks for jumping on and listening. I hope you have an amazing week and I will speak to you all and your gratitude soon.