Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Break free of Mental Prison
17 Plays2 years ago
In this episode Heather shares what it means to be in mental prison, what your internal prison guards are tell you to keep you feeling lost, stuck and defeated. Plus 5 ways to breakfree.
Really want to reset your thoughts, emotions and behaviors easier than you thought possible? Check out the 8 week Reset+Realign to combat the winter blues now.
Like I promised, here is the link to Dr. Rein book that I shared on the podcast.
Check out the Inner Shadows episode to understand how you can shine brighter in the darkness.
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Podcast Themes
00:00:02
Speaker
Hey sister friend, it's Heather Georgel, your certified life and NLP practitioner. And here we make doing the inner work not suck by talking about all things motherhood, womenhood, sex, and everything in between. Are you ready? Let's talk. This is the sex and motherhood podcast.
Understanding the 'Mental Prison' Metaphor
00:00:24
Speaker
Hey sister friend, today we are talking about being in prison. Mental prison. I'm sure you're wondering what mental prison is, aren't you? Well don't worry sister because we are going to dive into what mental prison is, what builds its walls, what security systems you have in place.
00:00:45
Speaker
plus five ways to change the beliefs that have you stuck in your mental prison and how you can make a jailbreak that you may desperately be needing. This is a topic that has been on my mind for a while now. And if I'm being honest, it's always on my mind because it is what I do for a living. Helping women break the internal chains so they can live confidently, clearly, and powerfully.
Exploring 'Patriarchy Stress Disorder'
00:01:13
Speaker
So when I read the Patriarchy Stress Disorder by Dr. Valerie Wren, I couldn't help but talk about some of the parts in the book that stood out to me and share my point of view too.
00:01:27
Speaker
So I'll make sure to also like link to her book in the show notes because it is so good. And the reason why we are talking about mental prison is because I believe that being in a mental or even an emotional prison can trigger emotional eating, self-sabotage, and keep you living and reliving your past
00:01:50
Speaker
and how it keeps you stuck and unable to move forward.
Visualizing Your Mental Prison
00:01:55
Speaker
And the dictionary defines prison as being confined and denied a variety of freedoms, okay? So the best question that I have for you is this, are you a prisoner of your own mind?
00:02:10
Speaker
When I think about prison, I see high walls and windows with bars on them and fences with barbed wire like circles and it looks and it feels dark and defeating and resentful and, you know, empty. And while mental prison may not have physical bars or barbed wire fences and, you know, walls of concrete, but if we're really being honest, it can certainly feel that way, can't it?
00:02:38
Speaker
So if you want to close your eyes, I'm sure that you could envision what your own personal prison looks like, what the walls are made of, who the guard is that's on duty, what it feels like, the emotions you're feeling, what you hear, what you smell, if there are any other prisoners, AKA versions of yourself, who are sharing this all with you.
The Role of Self-Doubt as a Guard
00:03:00
Speaker
Couldn't you? Okay, so if you did do that and you closed your eyes, come back to the room now.
00:03:06
Speaker
You see, your prison walls consist of all of your self doubts, the I'm not enoughs, the I should statements, the limiting beliefs that lead to toxic self talk, stories from your past experiences, and the circle of self sabotaging.
00:03:22
Speaker
just begins and spirals. And this is all emotional messaging and it's a human part of life. So know that you are the same as me, navigating this human experience. So your prison walls may not be physical, but I'm sure you can imagine how they feel that way, right?
Mental Security Systems: Safety or Imprisonment?
00:03:45
Speaker
Now, all the prisons I know have security in place like guards or correction officers. And like really think about that, correction officers. In your life, who is the one person correcting your course of action?
00:04:02
Speaker
My parents, sister, friend, a brother, a grandparent, whomever. I mean, I could go into prison guards or correction officers all by themselves, but I won't dive into that today, even though I would love to. There is this quote though from Tony Robbins that says, if you want security, go to prison.
00:04:23
Speaker
And I found that this is an interesting statement, right? And when I had first heard it, it really made me laugh. And now I find it really enlightening and maybe you will too. Living our lives.
00:04:37
Speaker
We want to feel secure, secure in our relationships, secure in our job, our home, our schools, driving our car financially with family, with ourselves, and the list goes on and on, right?
Desire for Security and Its Paradox
00:04:50
Speaker
We want security. And this is not a bad thing at all. It's an honorable thing to want.
00:04:57
Speaker
Although mental prison guards and officers can create self-doubt and self-sabotage if it comes down to you being guarded into believing that you aren't good enough or smart enough or other limiting prison walls are built up to secure you in this place.
00:05:17
Speaker
And your mind will show you the evidence of why these things are true by showing you past events, experiences, memories that are the proof. But really, it's the lens that you're looking through. So the security of your mental and emotional prison takes different forms, and so do your correction officers or your prison guards.
Subconscious Stories and Mental Prisons
00:05:43
Speaker
how whatever resonates. And I want you to remember this, the objective of your internal guard and security system is to keep you safely where you are right now, mentally and emotionally, because they honestly believe it is in your best interest. And it comes from a place of because I love you, you know, making it feel that there's no escape.
00:06:08
Speaker
And this metaphoric mind prison was best stated while I was reading Dr. Valerie Wren's new book, you know, the Patriarchy Stress Disorder. And she says,
00:06:19
Speaker
Our minds create stories that hold us back from reaching our goals, dreams, and desires that lay beyond the prison walls. We seem to maintain as long as our subconscious feels unsafe to be visible, powerful, successful, happy, and brilliant, our prison guards will tell us stories that keep us inside.
Emotions and Limiting Beliefs
00:06:42
Speaker
See, the stories, past events, experiences, memories, shape your history or, you know, herstory. It's just a version of the event. And your mind is designed to fill in the gaps based on other memories or events, and it creates emotions. And these stories can last a minute or a lifetime. See, stories,
00:07:09
Speaker
are given meaning and an explanation to the event that occur in your life because they're tied to an emotion. And our mind makes up these stories to fill in the gaps so that the events will make sense, like it's a normal part of how the mind works. And the events or the circumstances are just that, an event or circumstance until you give them meaning by adding an emotion and a thought, creating an explanation, and now you have programmed it
00:07:37
Speaker
into your security system as a coded belief. And our prison guards are there to keep us safe, right? Feeding you the stories of your past. It's like documented evidence of your worth, your smarts, or your capabilities and bringing up the past events and experiences, whether successful or failing relationships or like failed dreams and your secure, your insecurities.
Identifying Personal Mental Prison Guards
00:08:03
Speaker
And you know, it's like trying something new that it didn't work out. And these prison guards will be there to remind you, rather like reinforce you of your history so that you remember it. And this is where it feels like you're stuck.
00:08:18
Speaker
that feeling that doing the inner work is hard or it sucks and change is hard. No! Staying stuck in an unhelpful state mentally, emotionally, physically is painful. Here is the thing about prison guards. They want what is best for you.
00:08:36
Speaker
They fear for you. They don't ever want you to have to go through the same heartaches, struggles, and disappointments that they went through. So they keep you secure in your mental and emotional, like, prison sometimes because they're thinking it will serve you better to remain within the walls. So your guards would use phrases like, you should be doing more
00:09:03
Speaker
You're not enough. There's no way that you can do all of these things that you need to do. So you must be a bad mom. You have tried everything to lose weight. Nothing works. And you can't attend that fitness class. Like, did you see that girl on the poster? She looks nothing like you. That class is obviously not for someone like you. Or you should be careful. You struggle with time management.
00:09:32
Speaker
And there's like a slew of so many things that your prison guards will say. And I could dedicate an entire episode to prison guards, but I'm sure you're wondering who your prison guards are, or maybe you've even already figured out a few by now. And if you're unsure still, then prison guards can be yourself, your parents, a teacher that you had once had, your partner, a friend, a coworker,
00:10:02
Speaker
And there could be like more or less for you. It just depends. And now I'm sure like you're ready for a jailbreak, aren't you? Because I totally was. Only you can say when it's time to escape and when to start breaking down the walls and climbing over them or tunneling through or even under the walls.
Resistance as a Growth Opportunity
00:10:22
Speaker
You may even find what feels like resistance or you may be presented with your past and it might feel uncomfortable, but know that you can grow and it's an opportunity to reevaluate and gain clarity resolution for your past. And I talk about this in the inner shadows episode, so I'll link that as well.
00:10:42
Speaker
Remember, your security system has been put in place to keep you safe in what you know. What you know is based on your past, the stories of your own history. That means events, experiences, or even trauma that you felt.
00:10:59
Speaker
and you may not be aware of how much energy it has been taking to stay in this mental prison. Maybe without even realizing it, you are unconsciously willingly giving up the freedom of trying something new,
00:11:14
Speaker
wearing an outfit that you think is super cute, or applying for the job that you've always wanted, or maybe it's leaving a relationship and feeling that you don't have a voice.
Limiting Beliefs and Reality Shaping
00:11:25
Speaker
So you choose to just stay quiet. These are the stories that are triggered from your guards and the security system of your mental prison. There is an event that occurred. When you tie an emotion to the event, you then create a story to help explain it.
00:11:42
Speaker
This is how limiting beliefs are created and they guide your future decisions. These prison walls, the security system, see how their stories created and continue to create your current reality. When the story feels like it never changes, you get that, I'm stuck or I feel lost feeling and then it creates a pattern of self-sabotage.
00:12:06
Speaker
Your beliefs create the reality you live in, not your thoughts. So unhelpful thoughts are like the bars over the window or the barbed wire fence, right? For example, while I was growing up, I would get ready for the day and I'd be feeling pretty about how I looked for the day and I would like walk downstairs and my mom would come up to me and she would fix a piece of hair or
00:12:29
Speaker
She would remove something from my outfit that I had on or she'd fix my shirt so it would hang a different way. And this was when I felt I never looked good enough. So I was never good enough and I kept feeding that story and I kept it alive. And so I never looked good enough for her was the belief and she wanted to change me.
00:12:48
Speaker
And this may seem like a silly trigger, but when my mom or anyone else would fix something I was wearing or a piece of hair or it was just really triggering and it would trigger this old story, I never looked good enough. And this root belief was created. And since I've rewrote it, this belief, I was able to gain clarity and perspective and I broke it down.
00:13:10
Speaker
And I saw the event for what it was. She would fix my hair, you know, because maybe it was standing up like alfalfa from little rascals and she would like smooth it out. And then the event like fixing my shirt. Well, maybe it moved and it was sliding up or it was laying funny or crooked on my body. And maybe my tag was sticking out and she would like help me out and you know, so that I would feel more confident in how I looked.
00:13:33
Speaker
Once you can reevaluate, you can see things as they are, an event or a circumstance and not anything more than that. I mean, would you want someone to tell you, you have spinach in your teeth? I mean, I definitely would. Now I can see that my mom was showing me love.
00:13:52
Speaker
whether it was teaching me how to apply my eye makeup or, you know, so I'd make my eyes pop or the jewelry that would brighten my complexion, how to improve my self-care routine. And she really helped me break out of these walls. And if she didn't, I probably would still be the girl with spinach stuck in her teeth and nobody would want to tell me because of how I would react. So you've been waiting probably for the five ways to get unstuck, haven't you? I can talk forever, but remember,
00:14:19
Speaker
that these walls and stories were written and built over time. So it's important to allow yourself time and space and a little grace as you reevaluate and have a jailbreak. Also,
Five Steps to Break Free
00:14:32
Speaker
remember to give yourself
00:14:34
Speaker
and your correction officers or your guards grace too, but you are only responsible for you. So one, set time aside or schedule time for yourself this week so you can be in tune with yourself. You'll want a pen and a notebook so like you can write everything out and let the thoughts and emotions just come through without trying to shape them too much. Be free in your writing and
00:15:03
Speaker
It will make a difference. Number two, ask yourself why you believe you can't have or achieve what you desire or want and write down where you're feeling stuck. What is it that you feel you just can't have? What is it that you just can't seem to get and be specific? Number three, why do you believe you can't have what you want?
00:15:24
Speaker
and use this like fill in the blank. I can't blank because blank so I can't want because whatever the belief is. A belief is something that you believe and it's what you decided to be true but that doesn't mean that it has to be true. Number four
00:15:40
Speaker
create a flashback to your first event. So sit with your emotions and try to remember the earliest time that you can feeling the emotions or having the thought that you had. Now, if this feels overwhelming or scary, don't worry. If you truly want to be free, do it with a guide like myself or another professional and it will really help you be able to gain some freedom and insight.
00:16:03
Speaker
Number five, change the explanation of the event. You do this by investigating what emotions you felt because without the emotional driver, the event was just an event. It was something that happened and you can choose to give it a new explanation just like I did. There is a story and a belief behind every trigger and the first event, the emotion
00:16:28
Speaker
an insight to why you have the trigger toward a certain phrase or a person or a place or an action. It's all an opportunity for growth, reevaluation, and resolution for your past.
The Importance of Self-Reflection
00:16:41
Speaker
So if you find yourself struggling to make the connections, just take a deep breath because I got you sister. As a certified NLP practitioner, I am here to help
00:16:52
Speaker
guide you so you feel free from this mental prison and right now you can even join my upcoming eight week reset and you'll definitely want to choose the VIP option so I'll link to that in the show notes or
00:17:07
Speaker
You can schedule a clarity session with me and we can discuss options that would work best for you. Remember this sister friend, those that are keeping you safe, guarding you are also working through their own mental prison. You can be the one that breaks out and break the cycle,
00:17:28
Speaker
but only you can determine what's good for you or not. So it's up to you if you want to bust out and gain freedom from your own mental prison. It's so important to remember the five steps to being able to get unstuck.
00:17:47
Speaker
It's about resolution. It's about reevaluating. It's about creating the time and the space and the grace that you need to really implement change and find the resolution that you want.
Conclusion and Listener Engagement
00:18:01
Speaker
you just finished another episode of the sex and motherhood podcast. Thank you so much for listening. Feeling inspired? Go ahead, rate and subscribe so you never miss an episode. I want to hear your biggest takeaway sister friend. So I invite you to skip on over to Instagram and leave a comment about your favorite part at, at sex and motherhood. Be sure to share with your sister friends too. Meet you here next week.