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Vacay Mode
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Ahh…two weeks off of work does a body (and mind!) so much good! Today Julie shares 6 Needs she got met during her vacation that were lacking and causing burnout. This episode is your sign to book the vacation!
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Outside of Session'
00:00:06
Speaker
Welcome to outside of session. I'm your host, licensed clinical social worker and therapist BFF, Julie Hilton. We're going to cover all the things here, whether it's mental health, entrepreneurship, relationships, trauma, or just life. Nothing is off limits. Hopefully you'll laugh a little and learn a lot, but most importantly, feel encouraged on your journey to live empowered.
Vacation Insights and Burnout Discussion
00:00:32
Speaker
Hey everyone and welcome back to another episode of outside of session. If you didn't notice last week, I did not drop an episode. So I feel like I'm a little bit out of practice today, like getting back into the groove of things, but I didn't record an episode last week or I didn't have one to release last week because I was actually on vacation last week.
00:00:53
Speaker
And so today I just wanted to share a few thoughts that I have about my time off, some things that I noticed, some things I wanted to share with you about taking time off, and just some things that I'm really realizing about myself that I think that you will definitely relate with.
00:01:11
Speaker
Literally today is July 4th, like it's 10 o'clock in the morning on July 4th and I'm getting ready to release this episode tomorrow. So you were listening to this on July 5th and that just goes to show that I had not prepared a lot of episodes. And a big reason for that is because of burnout. So that's something else that I want to talk about today.
00:01:33
Speaker
But with that being said, I hope everyone had a happy and a safe 4th of July. It hands down is my favorite holiday. Not because I'm like overly patriotic or anything, although yes, I do love America.
00:01:49
Speaker
But it's my favorite holiday just because of the time of year. Like if you have listened to my episodes about seasonal depression or anything like that, you know that summer is just my jam. I would take hamburgers, hot dogs, watermelon, like a good cookout over Thanksgiving or Christmas any day.
00:02:10
Speaker
And I know that there are gonna be so many people horrified by me saying that, but I don't care. I love summer so much. I love pool days and lake days and just being in tank tops and flip flops and just hanging out with family on the 4th of July is the best thing ever. Not to mention my birthday is in two weeks and so you can throw that in there as well, like why July is my favorite month of the year.
Realization on the Need for Breaks
00:02:37
Speaker
But today I wanted to share with you guys some things that I noticed while I was on vacation. So I go back to work tomorrow and I'm actually really looking forward to going back to work which is a really good sign that I got what I needed out of this time off because I've had almost two weeks off and I haven't been able to take two weeks off since
00:02:58
Speaker
well actually two years ago I ended up going on vacation and then getting quarantined in a foreign country because I caught COVID on the way home that's but that's another episode for another day but that was two years ago so I haven't taken this much time off in two years and
00:03:17
Speaker
This year I actually haven't taken anything more than like a four day weekend. And I usually preach to everybody like take time off, whatever job you have, it's not that important that you shouldn't be able to take time off. Like I encourage that with all of my clients and my friends. And then this year I didn't even do it for myself. Like I have not taken a week off of work since the beginning of December of 2022.
00:03:43
Speaker
And here it is, July. So that's seven months of me not taking time off of work. And it's almost like this year just flew by and I just didn't plan for it. I didn't prepare for it until I really had started to notice some signs of burnout within myself.
00:04:01
Speaker
It's really hard to recognize burnout when you love your job. I think when you're in a job where it's not your passion and you know that you're not really happy there, it's probably easier to notice signs of burnout. But for me, because I love my job so much, it was really hard for me to see that even with something that I love so much and that I'm so passionate about, I was really starting to get burned out.
Enjoying Life and Acknowledging Challenges
00:04:25
Speaker
And so I ended up taking almost two weeks off
00:04:29
Speaker
And it has just been so good for me, good for my mental health. And so I wanted to share with you today some things that I noticed that I got out of this vacation that I really, really encourage you to pay attention to in your own life and see if you're needing some of these things. And if you are, maybe it's time and maybe it's a sign that you need a vacation too.
Six Needs Discovered on Vacation
00:04:54
Speaker
So the very first thing that I noticed that I needed the most, like these are six things that I realized I really, really needed. The number one thing that I needed was time to be silly. And I know that that is very random, but what I really realized is that I have such a heavy job, such a serious job.
00:05:15
Speaker
Now don't get me wrong, I use humor with my clients a lot. There are definitely sessions that I'm crying, laughing with some of my clients because if I'm being honest, anybody that has survived trauma, they have found a way to use humor in their life. And so I do have a lot of fun in my sessions at times. But overall, the job is obviously very heavy and I'm sitting with people through some really heavy emotions and hard times. And so I realized that
00:05:45
Speaker
that was carrying over into my own life to where I was just serious all the time and I was having a really hard time just being silly. And so I'm talking about like just being goofy, being immature, just being ridiculous. So on my vacation, I got to spend four or five days with a group of girlfriends. There was four of us and we went to California. So we went to San Francisco for a day and then we went up to Napa for three or four days.
00:06:15
Speaker
And when I say that we acted like we were in college all over again, like it was just nothing but the kind of laughing that the next day your abs hurt because everybody is just being so silly and so ridiculous. Like letting go of responsibility and just allowing yourself to let loose a little bit. Like I'm pretty sure three out of four of us peed our pants at some point we were laughing so hard.
00:06:43
Speaker
like that is just so needed and I really started to realize that y'all we get one life and life throws us so many hard curve balls like that's inevitable if you don't make time and find time just to like let go and enjoy things and just be silly
00:07:03
Speaker
Then like, what are we doing? We really need to be able to just like enjoy life. And so I think that was the number one thing that I feel like I've been missing lately is just that younger part of myself that's just like,
00:07:18
Speaker
silly and carefree, I needed to reconnect with her. And I totally did on this vacation. And literally by like three days of being around my friends, being able to let myself connect with this part, I felt like a new person. It was exactly what I needed. So this is your sign that if you have not had time to just be carefree, you need to build that in somehow. Take a vacation where you are allowed to just let go a little bit.
00:07:47
Speaker
The second thing that I noticed that I needed was time to be like introspective. Like I needed some time to be able to sit down and reconnect with myself because I had really started to feel disconnected with myself in a lot of ways. So I needed that connection within but it takes time and space and intentionality to connect with that part, right?
00:08:11
Speaker
So for me this looked like a lot of journaling a lot of asking myself. What's missing? What do I need right now? And so I did that through journaling I did that through my own therapy like I hadn't called my therapist in a while But I called her and I've had two sessions within the last two weeks
00:08:28
Speaker
And that to me is being really proactive and making sure that that stays a priority in my life. But I also was able to do it by like having really deep conversations with my friends on that girl trip too. Like we didn't make space for that as well, but like talking with my husband, talking with my sister, just having some really good
00:08:51
Speaker
quiet time with myself as well to be able to say like, okay, what am I missing right now? Where do I need some work right now? That was just so, so important for me to be able to reconnect with myself so that I could also kind of like carve out a plan for, okay, getting back to the grind, getting back to work and back into the swing of things. What do I need to do to make sure that I don't lose connection with myself again? So that was really, really important was to kind of like create a plan moving forward.
00:09:19
Speaker
so that I start to feel like connection with myself again. The third thing I needed was just time to rest. Like I just needed some down time. I needed sleep and so I was like sleeping in a little bit later. I actually took a nap a couple of days which I never do. I just needed a break from my routine of always being on the go. And I needed just to give myself permission to be lazy.
00:09:48
Speaker
And I think that for a lot of people with anxiety, a lot of people who are high performers, really successful entrepreneurs, moms,
00:10:00
Speaker
we don't give ourselves permission to be lazy very much. Like if we're on the couch just enjoying an afternoon, we're constantly thinking about the list of things that we need to be doing around us like laundry and making phone calls and getting back with people. Like it's a constant feeling of I need to be doing something. And I'm definitely that person that I have a hard time relaxing. And my husband is always like, you don't need to do anything, just like chill.
00:10:28
Speaker
And I have such a hard time doing it, but these past couple of weeks, there have been a couple of days where I have just given myself permission to chill. And I feel like that has been so good for my mental health. So if that's something that you struggle with, definitely talk with your therapist about it because it usually comes from
00:10:46
Speaker
something deeper. Obviously I need to prove yourself. I need to be high performing to always be doing something. Um, like I've really realized that I have a weird relationship with boredom, that that's something like, it's a very uncomfortable feeling for me. So I feel like I, if I'm bored, I need to be doing something. Um, but these last couple of weeks, there have been time where I have given myself permission just to be bored and just to be doing nothing.
00:11:13
Speaker
So I definitely built in plenty of time to rest on this vacation.
00:11:19
Speaker
On the flip side of that, I also needed time to be productive in a different way than my normal productivity. I needed time to get my life organized in a lot of different ways. All the things that are on my to-do list that I never get to, so they're just looming always, and I'm like, I need to get to that, and I just never have time for it. I knocked off so many things off of that to-do list, and it felt so good.
00:11:49
Speaker
like to take care of some things around the house or like appointments and stuff that I usually never get to I was able to do that kind of be that kind of productive and it felt so so good because now I'm returning to work tomorrow without this list of that's like haunting me all the time right so sometimes on vacation we need a staycation to knock things out
00:12:16
Speaker
so that our life doesn't feel so stressful and it feels like it's taken care of.
00:12:22
Speaker
Another thing that I really needed was time to be creative. I feel like so much of our life is like our time is taken up by the things that we have to do, that it leaves very little time for the things that we want to do. And creativity for me gets like pushed to the bottom of the list because it's not, it's not a must.
00:12:47
Speaker
But I really need a time to just like let my right brain have some time, right? So for me that means a lot of painting because I'm not very good at it but it's something that I enjoy doing and a lot of reading and like escaping into like that's what I love about books right is because you get to escape into like
00:13:06
Speaker
all these different worlds and people's minds and um like time just to be creative and to value that if that makes sense to like value part that part of the brain that typically doesn't get a lot of time in my world but it's just as important and that's like
00:13:28
Speaker
To me that's so much of what makes life interesting and worthwhile is when you get a break from all the things that have to be done and you get to do the things that let you explore other parts of yourself that typically you just don't have time for. So finding time to be creative was really really important to me too.
00:13:46
Speaker
And then the last thing that I noticed that I really, really needed was time for adventure. Um, just being in nature, being able to go explore another city, um, to be able to get out of like my little bubble of the places that I always go and see something new. Like that kind of adventure is really, really important to me. Like the things that you can't typically do.
00:14:09
Speaker
Like I can't, that's not something that you can do just every weekend. I mean like big adventure. Like I can't just hop on a plane and go to California every week or every month. You know what I mean? But to be able to
00:14:23
Speaker
To me, the thing about adventure is being able to see that there's something so much bigger than just my little world. Like it puts into perspective my problems, my issues, my responsibilities. Like there's so much more out there that it makes them seem very small. And to be able to see like the way that different people live and the different like how nature is so different in different parts of the country. Like I feel like that really does feed my soul.
00:14:51
Speaker
in a lot of ways. Um, and so that was like really, really important to me, like being able to get out of your little bubble and to explore different things. It just is also a reminder to me that where I am right now in life
00:15:08
Speaker
it's not always going to be this way like there is a whole world out there and at any point if i needed to make a change i could and i think for me that's always been a really big thing because side note a lot of people hate change but i think i crave change like if i am doing the same thing for too long it's that bored feeling right like i get really uncomfortable doing the same thing over and over again so
00:15:30
Speaker
There are times that like the house that I live in right now, this is the longest I've lived in one place in my entire adult life. And it makes me really uncomfortable sometimes because I'm like, okay, like what's next? And so being able to just go and break that routine is really, really important to me because then when I come back, it feels like I've been away from my norm.
00:15:52
Speaker
and I'm ready to get back to it. And so these are the six things that I realized that when I really fueled myself on this vacation, it was because I allowed myself to do these things. So it was time to be silly, time to be introspective,
00:16:07
Speaker
time to rest, time to be productive, time to be creative, and time for adventure.
Being Intentional with Time Off
00:16:15
Speaker
And so this is obviously not an exhaustive list. There might be things that you're really needing right now that weren't a part of what I was able to do on my vacation.
00:16:24
Speaker
But I think it's really, really important to go into time off with intention and make sure that you get the most out of it because a lot of us don't have the ability to take a ton of time off during the year. So when you do get it, be really, really intentional about how you fuel your soul, how you take really good care of yourself, how you do some of the really fun things, but how you also do some of the things that will set you up so that when you come back from your time off,
00:16:49
Speaker
you'll feel like you can breathe a little bit better. You'll feel like you're ready to come back to what you have, like all of those responsibilities. And it can give you a sense of gratitude. And I think that that's like the biggest thing that I'm coming back with is I feel a lot lighter, but I also am just filled with a gratitude, not for just everything that I was able to do over the last couple of weeks, but I'm also having, I'm feeling just very grateful for what I'm coming back to.
00:17:16
Speaker
and I'll say this as well like I'll leave you with this note because I love my job so much I'm coming back really excited like I am not dreading going to work at all tomorrow like I literally pulled up my client list for tomorrow and I'm so excited to connect with each and every one of those clients and hear what's been going on with them for the past couple of weeks
00:17:34
Speaker
That is a really good sign that I am where I'm supposed to be right now if You come back and you got everything that you needed out of your vacation and you're dreading going back to work And you just have this feeling of it's gonna be exactly as hard as it was when I left That might be time that might be an indicator that it's time for a different conversation of do you need to make some bigger changes in life?
Future Episode Plans on Burnout
00:17:59
Speaker
And I think I'm going to do a whole separate episode sometime in the near future on burnout and how do you know when it's time to make a change. But that's another topic for another day. But I do think it's really important to pay attention to whether or not you're feeling a lot of gratitude and feeling a lot of like excitement about getting back into your old routine because right now I'm really excited for it.
00:18:21
Speaker
So that's it. That's all I have today. I just wanted to share some of those thoughts with you about all the things that I got out of this vacation and wanted to especially thank my clients too, because they're so understanding when I said I needed some time off and so encouraging of like, yeah, go take care of yourself. And that always is a huge relief to hear that other people support you when you're doing things for yourself. Um, and if anybody out there is feeling a lot of these things and just feeling really burned out right now, here's your, maybe your,
00:18:50
Speaker
sign that you need a book of vacation and you deserve it and You need to get everything out of it that you need for yourself. We'll talk
Closing and Mental Health Resources
00:18:59
Speaker
to you next time. Bye
00:19:02
Speaker
Thanks for tuning in to this episode of outside of session. Remember while I am a licensed therapist, this podcast is not a substitute for individual therapy. The contents of this episode are for educational and entertainment purposes only. If you are having a mental health emergency, please dial 911 for immediate assistance or dial 988 for the suicide and crisis lifeline.