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Savage Worlds - The Phony Express 1.14: In It To Ryn It (The b-day Finale)
203 Plays2 years ago
You get two episodes in a day to enjoy while you eat Turkey!
In a return to form, The Delivery Crew gets up to some shenanigans back in Doodad. It's Chefy and Mutton Chop Joe's birthdays! Ryn is determined to make today special by going on a shopping spree with PW. Cutter gets super competitive and can barely hold his water. Maverick makes an important decision about his future and tries to be a bit like Sheriff Jeff.
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Role Players' Podcast
00:00:25
Speaker
All right, do the do the intro Adrian go. Welcome to role players and I'm totally Adam and welcome back to the savage worlds. Yeah, that is all right. Anyway, thanks. Thanks for that brilliant introduction. Adrian of role players. Yes. And then there's cast of role players and there's Dustin of role players. We're all legally changing our last names to of role players.
00:00:49
Speaker
And we are back within the savage world as Adrian said with the phony Express Yeah, we got ran we got cutter. We got my rick and he she he she's her too But not that he she with his old voice a different one And so hey parallel universe is of issues Yeah, it says penis penis instead of pecker pecker So
00:01:14
Speaker
We did things last time. We did things.
Fan Engagement and Patreon
00:01:18
Speaker
But before that, hey, we have a Patreon, patreon.com slash role players. Go check it out. Some new content coming very soon. So go and look at it. And also fun installersnetwork.com. And there's a little speak pipe link on there if you want to leave us a voice message and tell us the kind of things that you want to see us do and play and other verbs. So go and check that out, please. It will be great. I have an idea for the first person who sends the first voicemail.
00:01:44
Speaker
I will personally send you a Phony Express t-shirt. Oh, wow. And I will send you a digital high five. I will send you a picture of my foot.
00:01:58
Speaker
There you go. Foot pictures. Never see a German foot on the internet? It's fucking crazy. Maybe that's why he wants to see my toes.
Recap of Past Adventures
00:02:11
Speaker
Yes, he wants to see my toes. So last time you guys went to Death's Tusk, I think is what we called it, and you guys did battle with a machine man, and then he went deeper into the thing, and then you found
00:02:28
Speaker
It was all like a bad guy to a bad man and then like that kind of worked a little bit and people ran away with back to work and then you guys found your cells with some dynamite and you guys were threatening gasher. That if you don't come out with this dukes up gonna blow them up and then he came out and he was like yeah i wanna fight you are stupid. I'm and then read it already set her dynamite off and it blew up causing a lot of havoc in the world was trying to kill you while you're inside of the tunnel world.
00:02:56
Speaker
Eventually, through some heroics, you managed to save the little girl while the guys in there that were gardener got crushed by falling debras. Rin was going berserk mode, trying to beat the shit out of gasher the whole time. You guys had a horsey chase, and that was okay, I guess. It wasn't great, but you did it.
00:03:17
Speaker
Yeah, there was sodomy cuz you guys questioned gasher and you guys got the idea. Let's take a stick of dynamite up his poop shoot Some questions In the meat a and he was somebody named Rex who was paying in the go and caused some havoc and
00:03:36
Speaker
Or some shit like that and he said that he had an informant within the brothel and and out that it was bendy I know and she plays and Eventually you guys locked her and gash her up with Sheriff Jeff Sheriff Jeff had expressed he had recognized gasher and they had even hung out before and
00:04:00
Speaker
And One of the last things you heard is you left the sheriff's station Was that Bendy said that gasher's real name was like Melvin or something? Yeah And he was self-conscious about it And then you guys went back to the saloon. I'm sorry to the brothel To have yourselves a nice rest after all the travel and combat that you had been a part of And that's where we are now that I miss anything
00:04:28
Speaker
I think about pretty much everything. Excellent. Yay, I did it. Patreon.com slash role players. Patreon.com slash role players. Leave us a review. Leave us a review. Podchaser.com slash role players. Okay, so you guys will say that you did whatever you did and it's morning time
Contemplating Next Steps
00:04:50
Speaker
now.
00:04:50
Speaker
And, you know, you had to lock up a friend of yours, Rin, and all this other stuff. It was sad, but, you know, you had to do it. Yeah. Yeah, so... So sad. And, Rin, you get a call on your little table phone upstairs. Ring, ring, ring. Hello? Hello, baby girl. It's me, Punky. Oh, hey, Punky. What's up? Hey, did you find my birds?
00:05:21
Speaker
We are on our way to do that right now. I can hear your lying capacitors going off. You're liar! How dare you lie to me? I had to go save a friend, Punky, and I just got back, so we're going to do that today. Well, hey, that's fine and everything, but I got some sort of letter invitation to some birthday party. Is that today?
00:05:48
Speaker
Is it today? What does the invitation say? It says, to whom it may concern, please come to Chefie and Mutton Shop Joe's birthday party. And that's really all it says. It doesn't say a day. I'm just assuming it's sometime soon. I'm going to have to talk to Bathie about that. She was supposed to be making the invitation. She must have forgot the day. Yes, it's today.
00:06:16
Speaker
Well, they are wet, so I don't know. It should have arrived very soggy. I told her not to use that as a messenger peasant. God damn it. Don't worry, I'm going to use my flame breathing tortoise to try to dry it off a bit. Here you go, Donovan. Come on, breathe on it. Hey, that's Donovan. That Donovan says hi. So yeah, be here later.
00:06:44
Speaker
Uh, okay, should I bring anything? I don't want to be the kind of guy that doesn't bring, like, a gift. Hmm. Bring whatever you think is appropriate for, um, Sheffi. Because, you know, you know Sheffi. You know how they are. So you just bring whatever you think is necessary. Well, Donovan has a sister that's not doing too well in health. I could let Sheffi cook them.
00:07:08
Speaker
No, I was thinking more like making him like a kitchen gadget or something. Punky, come on. Yes. I am a little uninspired, I have to think. I'll call you back. Keep your talkie box ready. Okay. Punky, out. And he goes, did you believe
Birthday Party Preparations
00:07:32
Speaker
I hung up? I'm just kidding. Are you still there?
00:07:35
Speaker
Yeah, I'm here. Bye. Okay, bye. Your phone rings again. What?
00:07:47
Speaker
Hello, is your dog running? Punky, go home. I have nowhere else to go. All right, I'll be there this evening. Bye. Okay, bye. So you have a birthday party to plan, Ren. Looks like it. What do you do?
00:08:17
Speaker
Um, she's gonna think to herself, hmm, we're gonna have to get the supplies. Okay. Uh, well, I better make sure we don't have anything else going on today. Cause I've got a lot of planning to do. Maybe I might have to take a PW with me to get some supplies today. Yeah. That sounds like a good idea. Okay. So she heads downstairs and looks for the boys to see if we have any other.
00:08:48
Speaker
jobs to do today. All right. Cut her. Cut. Where's Cut her? Sitting at the little, I guess, probably a little bar where they can, I mean, a big old plate of breakfast. What's your breakfast? There's sausages, some egg, potates, breads, biskies. How are you liking the biskies, Cut her?
00:09:15
Speaker
That's a little dry out here, but give me more of them. I can get a little extra butter, please. Oh, I mean, I don't, I'm a little short in the butter department, but I could give you some goulash to dip it in. Slop it on there for me. I'll eat, I'll soap it all up with that there bread. Oh, you got it there, mister. Oh, Maverick, hi. Hello, Ishi. Hi. Um, would you like some goulash as well, Maverick? I would love some goulash. I had a good night's sleep.
00:09:43
Speaker
Do you want some hard bread like Cutter has? Oh yeah, give me that. You can put it in the garage. All right. The hardest of bread. Yeah, really dip it in there. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, stir it around. Make it change colors. And Chef, he gives you a big old batch of goulash and some hard-tack bread. And he says, so is anybody going to tell me anything? I think I'm going to stop hunting back, guys.
00:10:16
Speaker
I look immediately away from Jeffy and you're completely like a good man. What are you talking about, man? You know, after all this time, I finally caught the man I was hunting all this time. I'm kind of getting older. So I think maybe I should like start to rest a little and not hunt as much as I used to.
00:10:42
Speaker
Oh, no man, you're gonna live forever. I don't think so. You did almost not recognize a feller after describing him yesterday. That didn't cut out hard for me. Might be safest for everybody involved.
00:11:09
Speaker
I'm sure that people like you will keep the whole list safe. Do my part, I guess, when I can. But yeah, I mean, we think you're still going to do deliverance with us. What are you thinking? I could still do some things. I just want to take it a bit easier, but I can still do some adventures with you guys. I mean, at least you can stick on with you.
00:11:34
Speaker
originally from around here and up. I mean, I mean, I'm not gonna be sticking around here for my whole life, but I mean, it has to have you around for a while. I mean, you can live it as we are right now, with the people we have with us right now. And at some point, we part away again.
00:11:51
Speaker
You're gonna make me cry in my goulash. Oh, here, hand that over there. We don't want that. Okay. Thank you. I didn't want to ruin my face on my birthday. Oh, it's your birthday, Chefie. I didn't know that. Happy birthday. I didn't know that. I'm glad you got my hint. The tears were fake. Haha. Everyone's gonna come down the stairs and be like, happy birthday, Chefie.
00:12:20
Speaker
Oh, you remembered. I've been using that bowl. You got me from bowls, bowls, bowls. I love it. I'm glad you like it. I'm having the goulash in it. Oh, come here, you. Oh, I love the warmth of your tank. That's a compliment I've never had before. Well, if you had a tank, I would compliment yours too. I bet it would be a big one. Maybe I should get one.
00:12:50
Speaker
Well, you guys definitely get a big one. The fattest ones are the best ones. Yeah. Well, maybe, maybe I'll make you one with, uh, I don't know, my non-existent tank making skills. I love that. Oh. Rini-Poo, I have the most terrible news though. What? Mavericure says he's quitting. He's quitting? Quitting what? Quitting the crime hunting business.
00:13:19
Speaker
Oh, so you're retiring the bounty hunter game. I see. I'm retiring the bounty hunter, yes, yes. Are you going to stay and do that for a little while though? Just kind of hang out? I can just leave you two like this. Oh, good. Okay. Well, at least, you know, you're, you're going to stay here with us, you know, cause we kind of. And also give you two like a hand if you need it. Yeah. I mean, I might need some help around here too anyway. So, you know,
00:13:47
Speaker
I'd love to learn some normal work after all of this. Oh, I'm going to walk away now. I don't want to hear the surprise plans. Oh, yes, we gotta. Yeah, Chefie, why don't you go check on Abby for me really fast? I have to talk to these guys about something.
00:14:05
Speaker
Oh, where's that little bitch? I don't know how little she is. Compared to me, everything's little. How much of a bitch she is. She is kind of a bitch. Yeah, Sheffi skips off to the backyard.
00:14:25
Speaker
So do you know if we have any jobs left today guys? Cause I forgot that we sent out invitations for Sheffi and met Chop Joe's birthday party today. And, um, yeah, so we're gonna, I have some planning to do. I gotta go get supplies. Um, so I was going to take PW with me into town and just go get some supplies.
00:14:52
Speaker
So I didn't know if we had any other jobs from mutton chops or if you needed any help with anything or what. I mean, isn't it his birthday as well today? Um, yes, I think so actually. I'm sure he wouldn't want to work on his own birthday. Yeah, you got a good point there. Yeah. Um, okay. So I mean, yeah, if you want to come and help me and PW carry things and, um,
00:15:21
Speaker
You know help decorate and stuff like that. Like that would be a heck of a lot of help. That would be great. Well, yeah. Remember Maverick last time you threw your back out trying to lift up them fellers we were picking up off the street. I can help out with that. Maybe you can do something. Yeah. Him and you and Ishii can help put the streamers up since she can fly and she can put things up high. That's a good idea. Yeah. Yeah.
00:15:46
Speaker
Okay, cool. I'm going to go find PW and then if you guys want to meet me outside, ready? Becker. Ishi taps you on the head real quick, Maverick, and then she reaches down on her chest and starts pruning and she pulls her little sheriff's badge off and drops it on the ground. That's so cute, I can't.
00:16:13
Speaker
And she, she opens her wings real wide and gives you a hug. Like on peacemaker when the, I can handle it. Oh, that's pretty cute. And she says happy retirement. I mean, bigger, I mean, I gently touched. I got cross lucky she said as well. Fracker.
00:16:36
Speaker
Um, yeah, and she gives you a little embrace and essentially gives you an apologetic Peck. This is kind of a brat lately. Yeah, it's all right. I know that sometimes it can be hard to be a bird. So cutter, um, what do you, you guys are all going to head out together and you're going to take peccy recce to go get supplies or what's the deal? Sounds like it.
00:17:07
Speaker
Does there anywhere that you would want to stop cutter while we're in is going to go get? Pw and go get supplies. I probably just say a quick bite of old bath bath Rooney and head on my way
00:17:21
Speaker
She just gives you a gentle ladies nod as you She tips hers She started kind of copying your look a little bit and sort of wearing nice hats like you were
00:17:51
Speaker
She she she turns around she's wearing like a backless dress as she walks away from And so yeah, so you had out So what would you be doing first Ren? What's your what's your what's your plan to prepare for his birthday patty?
Cake Order for the Celebration
00:18:10
Speaker
I would go to the baker and order the cake. Oh Who's the baker?
00:18:27
Speaker
What's the baker's first name? Mr. Ted. Ted Baker. Ted Baker. Ted Baker. Well, hello. Ted the baker here. How can I help you?
00:18:43
Speaker
He really sounds like Ted Baker, how I would imagine him. What sort of delicious things could I get you today? Hi, yes. Mr. Baker, we need a cake for later on today. If that would be possible to get a pretty large chocolate cake, that'd be great.
00:19:05
Speaker
Oh, hello, it's Chalky Cakey. I love that so much. Yeah, for how many people will you be serving? Probably about 30 or so. Wow, that's a lot of people. Do you want me to make like one big cake or a couple of little guys? How about a couple of little guys? That'll work. How about two medium sized ones? That'll work. Yeah. Oh, two mediums, no toppings.
00:19:33
Speaker
Well, of course, you know, I, you know, actually, that's a, that's a pretty good idea. Two, two cakes. One, I want to say, happy birthday, chefie. And the other one, happy birthday, chops.
00:19:51
Speaker
Happy birthday, Chappy. Happy birthday, Chappy. Got it. Sure. Did I get that right or shall I redo it again? How about I write it down for you? How's that? That's great. Then I'll have my niece read it to me.
00:20:11
Speaker
Yeah, that's a good idea. Are you sure you're a baker? Of course I'm a baker. I know my way around in the oven. I mean, it's in the name. Yeah, you got me there, Maverick. Yeah, my wife, Mrs. The Baker, helps me. Thea? Thea Baker.
00:20:37
Speaker
I already forgot what we said his first name was. Ted. Ted Baker. Theodore Baker. Oh, Teddy, do we have customers? Yes, yes, dear. Yes, we do. We have to make two chockeys, one for a chefy and one for... Oh, I forgot his name already. What was it? Choc. Choc.
00:21:07
Speaker
Oh, Choppy! I love him! He's so nice! God damn it! Like, I have a really hard time imagining you with this voice. So, so good for him. Oh, Choppy! I love how good you are around cakes! We're getting right on it there, Missy. Ready? Come back in about two hours. We're gonna have a hell of a cakey for ya. Two of them, right?
00:21:38
Speaker
What's the phone you're spressing up as special guys? Ah, so... We'll see you in a little bit, boys and girls! Wait, just girl, I mean... Don't fucking cry in goddamn real life! Hey, someday you'll find the rainbow connection.
00:22:10
Speaker
Oh you betcha I'm gonna make the rainbows connect the cake ease As he walks around as he walks backwards with his arms in the air going yeah
00:22:29
Speaker
So you ordered your cake from mr. And mrs. Lee Baker I suppose I can make myself useful to do that sitting around here outside of brothel Thanks, buddy All right maverick let's go
00:22:55
Speaker
PW! Let's go! You see, PW shows up on like a big black stallion. How can I be of service, you sexy bastards? Oh my god, who got you a horse already? We were gone a day. Somebody paid me with a horse. Can you believe it? Oh my god, you must really be good. Yeah, my nickname's been horsey around the brothel.
00:23:26
Speaker
I was going by Reki for a while, but then I got this horse and the new name just stuck. I like it. I like it too, Hossi. That's a nice one, Seth. Yeah, but I spell it W-H-O-R-E-S-Y, Horsi. You know, it kind of my own little signature stamp. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. I mean, you can't, you don't look like a horse, so you don't want to, you know, give that impression.
00:23:53
Speaker
No, no, I don't want people to think I'm some type of steed myself. Boy, that would be embarrassing if somebody came in trying to fuck a horse, you know? Yeah, that'd be... I mean, there's some weird people out there. There are. There's some weird people right here in Doodad. That's what I love about it. I'm glad you're happy, PW. Oh, please, call me Horsey.
00:24:13
Speaker
Okay. If it's okay with you, I'm still going to call you PW. I guess. I mean, the W is still there. It'd just be pretty horsey. PW. There you go. We'll go with that. Okay. Hey, Cutter. Hey, Cutter, can I interest you? I mean, do you want to come by later? I'm having discounted rates because I have a horse now. No, I don't partake in that sort of thing. Thank you. You don't partake in horsies? No.
00:24:45
Speaker
Well, okay, well, hey, I just want to let you know I like that you're letting your your facial hair grow in a little bit I really like it. I liked it better that way Most people seem to like it with me a little trimmed up Wherever you think oh, I love a big bushy face, you know, I think Yeah, I just really think that it really suits you. You know kind of gives you that seasoned look I'd have to agree with you on that one PW
00:25:13
Speaker
Looking pretty good there cutter. Yeah, I'll give you one for free if you if you ever want it just come by That's all right. I don't worry bathy and I talked as long as it's work. It's fine Okay, all right, well, I'm still on my big-ass steed what do you want me to do Ren I
00:25:35
Speaker
Um, well, we're going to go get some supplies. I need your, um, your eye mostly cause I'm not so good at the decorating and you're much better at it than me. So I can already call what you've done around the brothel. So, uh, I figured you'd be the perfect person around for this job. So, um, we're going to be having the birthday party for chefy and for chops. Oh shit.
A Day in Town and Humorous Encounters
00:26:00
Speaker
She looks around.
00:26:02
Speaker
Okay. Cool. Just making sure she's not out here. All right. Nobody should distract chops so that, you know, because, you know, he seems to know everything around here.
00:26:10
Speaker
Yeah, he seems to. It's kind of weird, but yeah, I think really I just need some help with the decorations and to see which ones are the best ones. Not to be clear, you want to get decorations, not decorations, right? Yes, decorations. All right, I'm just making sure so I don't get the wrong idea when we go shopping.
00:26:36
Speaker
It's a birthday party. I don't know what chef Ian and chops are into To tell you the truth, I don't either but you know, they're very mysterious people How about you go and check out what shops is doing not that he spy on us I Guess I can go talk to him. Yeah Anything that you want to do also while you're gonna go do that cutter
00:27:06
Speaker
Not really. No, no, no, no, uh, no side quests for cutter today. He has a chill day today. He ain't got no, he ain't got no money to do anything with. So, uh, Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Uh, who knows? Maybe, maybe what didn't my job. So, no, no, you guys went over to help. It wasn't a job. Uh, though sheriff might've paid, uh, might've paid Maverick. He might have.
00:27:31
Speaker
I don't know. Might have. I think he paid you. I think he paid you 50s of dollars. Wow. That sounds great. Bringing in one of the most notorious killers. I bought that by three. I don't know how to do that. Well, that's up to Maverick if he wants to give you any, because he's the one that went after him. I think he'll give you some money. 60 dollars is what you got. 60 dollars. So it's easier to divide by 20. Yeah, then it's all get 20.
00:27:57
Speaker
Here you go. Everybody gets $20 hairs. Good job. One last fella. Thanks, Maverick. I say as I walk away. Thanks for that pretty cash, Maverick. I mean, thanks for that carping me back there. Oh, yeah. That all worked out for everybody. Yeah. I think Maverick, you feel like somebody tugging on your pants. Who's tugging on my pants? Hello, Mr. I was just wondering if I could pet your bird. How about you ask her if she wants to be petted? I'm skilled to talk to the bird.
00:28:28
Speaker
It's only to be scared. She's a nice bird. What's her name? It's Ishi. Ishi? What's that mean? Ishi doesn't mean anything. What does your name mean? I'm Wobbert. What does that mean? It means Wobbert. Ishi means Ishi. You could call me Bob for short, but nobody calls me that because only old people are called Bob. I mean, I'm an old person, so I'll call you Bob.
00:28:57
Speaker
Okay, you call me Bob. Yeah. Am I old now? Yes, old is me now. I can ride my own horse. Yeah. I'm gonna go get a job. Thanks, mister. You're welcome. I forgot what I... Oh no, I want to pet your bird first.
00:29:14
Speaker
You did want to do it before you go to work. Can I pet your bird? Hey Ishii, can I pet your bird before I go get a full-time appointment? Do you think Ishii would? Yeah, because she seems to be in a good mood today. Yeah, she's in a good mood. She lets him give her a little scratch on the neck. He says, wow, your bird is so soft. Yeah, it's like all the feathers and stuff. It's really nice.
00:29:42
Speaker
Wow Your bud is so clean do you wash your bed occasionally yeah, yeah, that's important She smells like a desert Wayne She's a little standing there though
00:30:08
Speaker
But thanks for let me touch a bird mist here. I'm gonna go get a job now in the mines or something Yeah, go and get a safe chop. That's better. Yeah. Yeah, you know what? I'm gonna go work at the bar. Bye mister And he puts his little you put his little stick horse between his legs and pretends the gallop over to the saloon I think my work who might have been good for that little fella was my guest
00:30:35
Speaker
I started working on mine as I was about eight or so.
00:30:42
Speaker
I mean, he's already late. I'm two and I've got, you know, a job. I'm fucking kidding. Get with the program, idiot. Yeah. Get out of your guest. I'm playing World of Wildcraft. Good job. Good job. Okay, so, Kutter, you're going to go see Mutt & Chop Joe. Rain is going to go with
00:31:12
Speaker
Horsey to go and get some supplies. Maverick, what are you and Ishi doing? I think maybe just going around the streets since I don't really have anything to do until then comes back with the supplies. So you're going to go walking around the streets and doing what?
00:31:32
Speaker
Just looking at people, just relaxing. I'm just going to go look at people. He's going to go find an inexplicable rocking chair somewhere, just rocking. I want to do exactly that. You're going to be chewing some tobacco.
00:31:58
Speaker
Yes, yes. What are you doing on my porch? She also spits a little one. All right, mister, you can have my chair for now. You can exchange it between us if you want. Yeah, we can do it in shifts. My ass has been in it for a while, so it's a little horn.
00:32:26
Speaker
Yeah, you know, I'll see you in like a couple of hours. All right, I'm gonna go take my afternoon nap. Okay, okay. Oh, it's only nine? Whatever. It's never too early to nap. And they go over to nap. Yep. Mavericks, roll for notice. Just see how good you look at people.
00:32:49
Speaker
um that's a nine wow that's a nine's worth of looking wow you're looking at so many people yeah you see passers-by you see people ghosts you see ghosts at some point uh and someone going oh i'm dead
00:33:08
Speaker
And you know, you see kids playing in the streets and you see Ishi kind of going and like she flies over to the water trough and kind of like dips her face in there and kind of does like a little bird bath and stuff and that's really cute. And you just kind of start to see the beautiful things in life when you don't got to worry about people shooting at you all the time. Or shooting about people.
00:33:29
Speaker
Yeah, or shooting at people. You just see people living their life walking up and down the street, sharing little stories about neighbor Marge and how you can smell her sweet summer pie from two houses away on the Windows Hill. That's not what they meant by the pie on the window though. Did you smell her pie?
00:33:51
Speaker
I'm smelling her pie real good. I smell like her pie right now. And loving it. She needs to keep that kind of thing to herself.
00:34:12
Speaker
So, boy, I knew this was going to be a silly episode today. Return to form, as it were. Anything else weird happening on the streets? Anything else weird happening on the streets? You see two kids and they're sword fighting, but with sticks. They have these little hardened sticks and the one goes,
00:34:41
Speaker
Hi, I'm the great sword fighter Malakith, the paladin, and you are evil. And then you see that one goes, hi, my name is Rasputin, and I am the evil wizard of this land, and you shall defeat me, young paladin. Yeah, how about you? And they're like clacking sticks together and stuff.
00:35:09
Speaker
You should start like a like a podcast or something. It's really cool. What's a podcast? You know, that's like that's right back in my hometown. It's what people will call like a theater performance. Oh, I love the other. Yeah, me too. Do you like my paladin? Your paladin looks really cool. Thank you. I made the tattoo out of mud. It's my family symbol.
00:35:40
Speaker
People like little kids like you could really create a fellow of that. Yes. Do you know who my god is? The booby watcher I was thinking the same thing
00:36:10
Speaker
And the little kid goes, are we gonna keep sword fighting or what? It's really hard for me to keep up this voice.
00:36:17
Speaker
He's like, oh, yeah, sorry, mister. I will defeat you, evil wizard. And they go back to fighting with their swords. That's what you see on the streets right now. It's just a bunch of shenanigans. I'm quite satisfied with that. And somebody from one of the local neighboring houses comes out and brings you a nice fresh cup of coffee and sits down. That's nice of you.
00:36:45
Speaker
Well, you know, it's just nice to have someone else to sit and look at the world with, you know? Yeah, yeah. I gotta invite you at some coffee as well next time. Oh, thank you. You know, I saw you around here doing jobs and stuff. And, you know, I saw you hanging out with that there, Sheriff Jeff. He is such a nice boy. I hope he finds himself a nice young lady. Yeah, me too. Yeah. But I mean, you seem like a nice filler. It's nice for him to have a role model like you to look up to. Yeah.
00:37:16
Speaker
And maybe he'll find somebody nice, like in this town right here. It's hard to say, dude, dad's a weird place. Yeah. Yeah. You know, maybe one day, but you know, it's nice to have someone like you help and watch over the youngins and, you know, make sure that the world's a little, you know, we all heard about what you done did yesterday. Oh yeah, it was quite the adventure. Yeah, no kidding. I was surprised you made it back. Yeah. Like suddenly the worlds that are attacking us could look really dangerous.
00:37:45
Speaker
I had the world's a scary place, you know, it's why I never leave due, dad. If you're open somewhere else before. Nope, born raised and probably gonna die here. Maybe you should like, at least go to next city or something to like see something else. No, I heard that city burned down. I mean, there's other places around. Or maybe you could look at the burned down city. It's also kind of would be interesting.
00:38:11
Speaker
Well, these old bones don't travel as well as they used to, you know, just, you know, just walking from one end of town to the other used to be easier. And now it takes me almost the whole afternoon just to get over to neighbor Marjor's house to smell her sweet pie.
00:38:25
Speaker
Oh my God. Look at a million miles chasing that pie though. Give me talking about Marge's pie. It's just like a cacophony of people like y'all talk about Marge's pie. I heard it was so sweet to give you a toothache. Luckily for me, I ain't got no taste. I really gotta taste it high at some point.
00:38:56
Speaker
So I tell you what, you ain't tasting no pie like neighbor Marge's pie. I will tell you what, in all of my 76 years of living here, I ain't never eaten a pie quite as good and wholesome as that one. Maybe you should like get some tea and coffee and pie. I don't know. Hey, would you like, I mean, I can make you some pie. You want some of my pie, Maverick? Sure, I'd love some pie. I can make you a hero's pie for saving the day.
00:39:24
Speaker
Oh, that sounds perfect. All right. Well, I'm going to go take that morning nap, like I said, and then I'll get right on it. And she heads off after giving you a nice hot cuppa. And she's like, oh, I made it nice and boiling, just like I know you and Jeff like it.
00:39:58
Speaker
It just destroys your throat and your voice gets a little raspy as you drink it. How does he do that?
Games and Financial Revelations
00:40:08
Speaker
Somewhere in the sheriff's office, the sheriff's just like, yeah, it's my dude. Hell yeah. Okay, so kind of are you going to shop Joseph's house?
00:40:22
Speaker
Yeah, boy. So you walk in and he's where he always is. And somehow you walk in and you see that Lady Danes is in there and she is painting another picture of him to go along with the first one. And it's like there's like an on the painting that she's working on right now. It says birthday boy on it.
00:40:44
Speaker
And, um, he's kind of standing there with like his, you know, with like kind of captain Morgan style, but he has like his, his, uh, more like, more like the thinker. Uh, like he kind of has his chin on his, on his fist and his knee up on his chair. And he goes, Hey, uh, cutter, what's, uh, up. Hey, there. Oh, oh, mutton chops. Uh, just, just checking in on, on you. See how you're doing as apparently your birthday.
00:41:14
Speaker
Wow, here I thought only Miss Danes here remembered birthday boy. Oh, no, I mean, yeah, I caught wind. There was a somewhat special day today. So I forgot to stop it. We hadn't seen you since the other day. Did you come to give me my birthday spanking?
00:41:43
Speaker
And I thought, did I just miss you there too? Yeah, some more Mavericks like choking on hot coffee going, what? I felt no disturbance in the force. Yeah. So you're not going to slap my cheeks? No, no, that did not cross my mind. Oh, well, what present did you want to give me?
00:42:13
Speaker
I didn't really have any money until just recently Maverick gave me some from what we did yesterday. I was just going to give you $20. Oh, Cutter, don't pay me. I pay you. That is true.
00:42:39
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, if you want to, if you want some more money, I could give you a job. I mean, none too pertinent. Quick, is it? We're busy days, I guess, around the town today. Yeah. Oh, hey, how's Maverick in that gusher guy? Oh, we can, we caught him. He's in, he's over in the, he's all locked up over there now.
00:43:07
Speaker
Yeah. Hey, uh, Cutter, can I, uh, ask you to do me a favor? Uh, you can sh- you can sure ass there, feller. Well, uh, Ms. Danes here is, uh, painting me quite well, I can imagine. Uh, I was wondering if you would help, uh, pass the time a bit by, uh, maybe playing a couple of games with me for my birthday.
00:43:50
Speaker
All right, have you ever heard of the game Bop It?
00:43:59
Speaker
Yeah, actually I clobbered a feller up with that pirate mine. Oh, yeah, that's where I learned it was from the land pirates. Yeah, I was wondering if maybe you could maybe play someone in a round of bop it for my entertainment for my birthday. Oh, I guess I don't know who I would play.
00:44:24
Speaker
Oh, I'm sure there's somebody out there that likes to get bonked in the head. I guess give him one second. Go through the door. Anybody want to come in here and play Bob with me?
00:44:41
Speaker
Roll persuasion. Yeah. You see like the two big dudes that helped you guys before like carry bodies into the, into the saloon and shit come out and the one just like, hell yeah.
00:45:06
Speaker
And then you see you see you see a gnomish man walks between his legs. He's like When I say you I play you bump it. Yeah Oh
00:45:26
Speaker
Then sheriff Jeff kind of appears but from behind the big guy goes, I'll play in the game of bop a dirt or a cutter. Oh, hey, sorry, other fellas. I was I was itching to play with all you. Sheriff Jeff's a good friend of mine. I got got to play with him first, you know. Yeah, everybody just move on. I'm gonna show this guy a thing or two about a thing or two if you know what I mean.
00:45:50
Speaker
Let's let's get the bopping it right. Yeah. All right. Yeah. Come on. It's first for mutton chop. He wants to see it for his birthday The dudes weird now. Love it
00:45:59
Speaker
It's good for you to be happy about it. You want to take a sip from my hot-ass thermos that's burning the fuck out of my fingers, Renner. That's all right. I took a drink out of that water trough from there. All right, more for me. And he just like pours it over his fucking face, like singeing his mouth and his fucking neck as he drinks it. That explains your skin. Oh, yeah, that's how I keep my gritty complexion. All right, let's get inside.
00:46:29
Speaker
Hey, Mr. Chops. Martin Chops gives you the go ahead gesture to begin the game. Lady Dan is like, you Americans have the weirdest customs I've ever seen.
00:46:53
Speaker
Okay, go ahead and roll roll a fight and roll against against all the Against all sheriff Jeff pop got five. That's a five Just for sake of using the standard his standard parry. That's a hit on on our friend our friend Sheriff Jeff Roll your roll your fighting damage fight. Do I just do strengths? Yeah, you can just do strengths you are I don't remember we ever done for that. So here we go. We did either
00:47:26
Speaker
You bring your hand down on top of his fucking head and it's just like you just smacked a goat head. It's so fucking hard.
00:47:36
Speaker
Hey, oh man, no one took it a little bit. Uh-huh. You're trying to take it easy on me there cutter First first time ever played is first hit I knocked him a right to the floor. So one just I mean, I'm just I'm just trying I don't want to get you too good there on the first go like leans in he leans and he says you want me to throw the game for you and
00:48:00
Speaker
No, God, no. David, you give me one as hard as you can. I'm no soft-headed baby man. He swings his fist. He only hits you for... He swings out of three. I know that's a miss on your parry. He's going to use a Benjamin and do it again. Oh, he's really keen on hitting me on the head. He rolled a seven.
00:48:25
Speaker
Does that hit your parry? Uh, yeah. I only got five. Pinch. Sure it ends. All right. Uh, he's going to hit you for 12. Oh, shit. We have Benny's now, right? I'm going to do his... Well, not very much, though. He hit you for 10. Uh, and that's, uh, I take three. So he shakes you, essentially.
00:48:54
Speaker
He bonks you when you get a little dazed. He goes, oh, that's how you do it there, Cutter. Hey, don't take it easy on me just because your boss is watching. I hate to listen and we got to make that entertaining. Give me a sip of that coffee after all. Here you go, feller. Just chug it down. I'm sputtering out of my mouth.
00:49:22
Speaker
You see you can now act you see as you're cutting it out you see all of a sudden like another easel and another like canvas has showed up and like Lady Danes is double-fisting paint brushes and she's painting one of mutton shop Joe and one of you guys playing bobbin
00:49:39
Speaker
Alright, here it comes. I ain't never gonna have no painting made of me getting knocked out so. I'm gonna do a Benny too.
00:49:53
Speaker
Rolled another four. Yeah, you strike him on the head again, and again, he just felt like your hand getting that fall asleep feeling that it gets. I'm gonna loosen that thing up.
00:50:09
Speaker
She says, all right, dear gutter, this one's going to be good. He starts swinging his arms around like Lisa does when they're talking about walking towards each other. If you get hit, it's your own fault. He goes full Popeye and he just hits you with a five. Does a five hit your parry? Oh, yeah, it does. Daggett, just enough. God, god damn it.
00:50:31
Speaker
All right, so he only rolls a four on his on his damage. Thank God. So he he strikes you and hits the harder part of your forehead. He goes, there you go. That's how you block it. You got to really use the, you know, the head button part of your face. Damn, right. Go cutter, go cutter. Good job. Yeah, that's a hit on his parry. Hell, yeah.
00:51:00
Speaker
Here I come. A five, I have a kid. Just a one. Does that count? Ah, you can have a jabber. I'll let you have either. A five doesn't matter anyway. He's probably got toughness above that. So, yep. He swings at you again. He rolls a five. He uses a Benny. He rolls a 14. No, he doesn't use a Benny. Five passes. Don't use a 14. Oh, okay. All right, he doesn't use a Benny then.
00:51:29
Speaker
Ten. Jesus. He's beating the shit out of you. I'm shaking again. There's also a cat in front of my screen now. What's your toughness? Seven. Okay, yeah, he shakes you again. We're going to have to make a rule. If he shakes you three times, we'll just call it out. Because otherwise it's going to take forever to wound somebody. I'm like, here you go, you son of a bitch. I'm going to take some more coffee. I need you to look good. Yeah, you shook it off again. Wow.
00:51:58
Speaker
All right, all right cat could you just I'm gonna say there's my fighting I can see it underneath the cat's head That's a hit that's a hit on autumn come on Carter give me a good one I know you can scroll up past the cat Do you need to use your sword or something cutter I
00:52:22
Speaker
Stop, you just be quiet there. You give me what I had to do. You son of a bitch, you're so smart. He rolls a 10 to hit you. What's your parry? That's five, so I guess he rose on you. He got a raise on you. Uh-oh.
00:52:39
Speaker
So I have him roll his strength first. I get a raise thing about old Maggie's pilot. That's an eight, and then he gets another D6. And he's on top of that. So 11. He knocks me out. He goes full Popeye and just fucking locks you on the head. Fucking knocks you down to your knees. I'm laying on the floor. Have mercy.
00:53:10
Speaker
Wow, that was exhilarating. As Sheriff Jeff helps you up, he's like, oh man, look, you made it onto the canvas. And Lady Danes has painted the exact moment where his fist bonks on the head and your tongue sticking out of your mouth.
00:53:30
Speaker
Oh handsome as ever could her, handsome as ever. Only my fist got into the shot, but your whole face got in it. I have to return us to you for your birthday. Oh, it's not my birthday, but thank you. I appreciate it. All right. Mutton Chop Joe gives you a slap on the back and then you feel good as new.
00:53:59
Speaker
He says, hey, thank you for that there, mister. That was quite entertaining. Oh, you're welcome to do that. Did I just wake up from a nap? Yeah, you were quite the sleepy boy.
00:54:13
Speaker
Jeff, you're still here? Hey, thanks for hanging around. No way. Yo, I just hung out because, um, well, bye. Anyways, he walks out the door. Thanks for inviting me to your game. You're welcome. I was feeling, but I don't want to get beat up by him. You really don't. Well, anything else you need for their mutton chops? Uh, no, just take this envelope and be on your way.
00:54:43
Speaker
Oh, where am I taking it to? Uh, just take it wherever you want to take it. It's yours. Oh, what is, is there anything in it? Yeah. Do you want to open it? Yeah. It has 500 wing wangs in there. What, what trouble is this for here? What the heck is it? Hey, thank you for being a good sport on my birthday. I can't take this money. I can't take this money for just getting bumped on a head. That's too much. I, uh,
00:55:11
Speaker
Fine. It's too much. How about you? Give me 50 back and you can have 450. Yeah, well, uh, or do you want to just keep the whole five? Well, I mean, I guess so. I just thank you very much much. I mean, wow. Yeah. Hey, listen, uh, good luck with your mom. Oh, I tell you about that. I don't remember.
00:55:37
Speaker
Yes, I must have one of them times I was getting hired. Anyway, thanks. Thanks very much. My job says this will go a long way. You know, I'm really trying to get everything they all turn around. I think that reminds me, I've been meaning to ask you to I know you said about when we got hired, you know, we can't quit on account and then we'll get decapitated or something. If I do get enough money, I get to go back home. Is that gonna be all right? I can leave the company.
00:56:01
Speaker
Well, uh, what do you say we table that conversation and you just go and have yourself a nice time, huh? All right. Well, it's going, it's going to take me a little while anyway. Kathy seems to think it's going to take, um, uh, some amount of thousands of dollars or something. I think she said a bear big number sounded like the number that I'm thinking is, uh, $5,262.
00:56:29
Speaker
I don't know, Beth is pretty good at math. I don't know if she didn't say that number, so I'll have to see what she thinks about that, but maybe. Well, you've shaved quite a bit down on the debt, haven't you? Oh, yeah, I've been saying a little bit here and there. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you owe a lot more than you think so to those you robbed.
00:56:53
Speaker
I'm pretty very certain I'd not tell you anything about that much. What do you know about this bit? Well, I know you and Ostrom had a little party. Well, it wasn't a party, I wouldn't say, but I mean, I did get myself involved in something I regret full of now. And I do this actually, this money here would be about as much as I would need to pay off my portion of what I took.
00:57:21
Speaker
You would think, uh, but you're kind of tied to Osram and, uh, he was kind of a dick. And, uh, you owe a little bit more than you think and your farm is, uh, well, I don't want to give you any bad news on my birthday. So we can just talk about that later. Fair, fair enough. I didn't, I should have thought about what Osram did. I got to make up for him too. Yeah. Well, uh,
00:57:49
Speaker
Thanks for this here. Money is really appreciative of that there. And I'm going to go ahead and go now. He takes his face off his chin. That's not what I meant to say. His face off his hands. He doesn't take his whole chin off. He takes his hand off his chin and he looks at you and he puts both arms out like he's asking for a hug.
00:58:18
Speaker
For the birthday boy. Yes, I suppose I awkwardly come around the desk. Thank you very much. I hope you have a good birthday. How old are you, by the way, if you don't mind me asking? Boy, it's been so long, I can't remember. Doesn't get hard to keep track of them after a while. Yeah, probably like 60 or 600. All right, well, I'll see you later.
00:58:47
Speaker
Thanks for putting me up with that joke. Alright, yeah, you're welcome. Alright, bye. Any questions you have? I'm pardon, who's talking? What? Hi. Oh. Oh. Hey, Qatar. How are you? Hello. Goodbye. I'm leaving. Toodle-oo, kangaroo. Toodle-oo.
00:59:13
Speaker
And to you All right, so you leave Mavericks watching people Ren. What are you doing with good old? I Feel like we have already gotten all of our decorations and supplies and are headed back to the brothel to decorate What did you pick up on on your adventure? Um, we got like a
00:59:37
Speaker
paper plates and tablecloths and streamers. Yeah, totally. They were around back then. We started trashing the environment real early, guys. Real early. No, they probably got just streamers and balloons and a tablecloth, a really nice tablecloth.
01:00:02
Speaker
Okay. So yeah, PW is like, boy, I can't believe they had all of these things at the all of these things store. I know it's the greatest store. Yeah, they should open up like a all of those things store, you know, that way, like, that way, there's those things and these things. Yeah, I'm with you on that one. PW, that's a great idea.
01:00:27
Speaker
We should open up a store inside the brothel. We'll call it like the whore store. We'll have to talk about that. We can workshop the name, sorry. I'm getting a little excited. No, that's okay. That's not a bad idea. Did you see Maverick when we were on our way back? Yeah, he's been chugging hot coffee and watching the kids play Wizards.
01:00:56
Speaker
Oh, goodness. Hey, Maverick! Hey, Ren! Are you ready to go help us decorate with Ishii? Oh, for sure, you can count on it. Cool. Have you seen Cutter? Indeed, I have not, but I have felt a weird feeling coming from Mutton Shop's direction. Oh, is there a lot of noise coming from that area? That as well, yeah.
01:01:24
Speaker
Oh, that's weird. And then suddenly a lot of people went inside there. Oh, really? You see Sheriff Jeff just like walks out. He adjusts his collar. He kind of gives you like a manly wave. As he walks back to the sheriff's office.
01:01:42
Speaker
Then I like to tip my hat to him. He tips, he farts and walks away. Cut her as you exit, rinse there with PW on a big ass black steed and Mavericks there. Wow, you guys were together. Get all together again.
Birthday Party Set Up
01:02:02
Speaker
Hey, everybody. Hey. Hi. I got all the decorations. Oh, that's great. I just gave Mutton Chop his present. What did you give him?
01:02:13
Speaker
I gave him a real close match of bop that I played in front of him. What is it with you in that game, Cutter? Do you like that game? He asked for it. I'm pretty good at it. I'm not going to lie, you are pretty good at it. We might have to have competitions this summer.
01:02:34
Speaker
My ears are a little ringing from getting bopped on ahead this time, but maybe real loud, would you say what happened that one time? Like, come stand here and win at a one-time place. Hey, fellas, big fellas at the bar. You was over, Mike. How are you guys doing? Sorry we didn't get to play bopping. My friend was about to say something. I don't know what she's going to say. I don't want to interrupt her.
01:03:06
Speaker
I was just saying you could start a club. The Bobbit Club. Why would I do that? Maybe that becomes really popular and you would be the guy who made it popular. Are you really good at Bobbit cutter? I wasn't trying to say it myself. I didn't have one good round once a while back.
01:03:31
Speaker
You know, but this night, nevermind, go back inside, you thanks fellas, sorry botheries again. Oh, no, it's fine. You know, I'm a little sad, says the little guy that I didn't get to whip you.
01:03:45
Speaker
Maybe next yeah, I've been bopped a little today already. So pride should go give a rest for a while How about a foot race? I'll race it to the saloon And he starts running really fast Making agility roll or athletics roll pull up the right window now what they can still in a fucking way. Oh
01:04:21
Speaker
A four. You beat him. You smoke him real quick. He's rattling. He's got foot-long legs. Get the fuck back of you cheater. He's coming up here like, ha ha, I won you little son of a gun. I got you. I beat you. I ran faster than this little tiny feller here. Well, by my family's standards, I know. Oh, you my amulet. And he pulls up like a big shiny yellow amulet and gives it to you.
01:04:27
Speaker
Either one, it's fine. Agility. That's practical. I think that is the same. Well, my agility apparently.
01:04:50
Speaker
So I don't need your help keep your emails. No, that's it. I would be ashamed to my family. I must win it back. Otherwise, it's yours. All right. I mean, oh, I gotta keep it till you win it back. All right. Or till you sell it break it or, you know, a hock it. Oh, you don't mind if I sell it? I mean, it's yours. I lost it fair and square by my family oath. Oh, all right. Well, um, do you want to, you want to see who can hold their breath the longest?
01:05:18
Speaker
Hell yeah, brother. All right, go ahead and start. Here we go. He starts holding his breath. And I go, oh my lungs are so good. Oh, I lost that one. Oh, by the power vested in my family, I achieve my ambulance once again. There you go, feller. You went after his career. I'm not going to bet again. Yes, you again. All right. How about, uh, how about Indian leg wrestling? You want to do around?
01:05:48
Speaker
I feel like it wouldn't be a good match. We got all its size legs compared to each other. I know. My little stumpy nubs are really good. They got a lot of support because they're closer to my torso. I actually have an advantage. Well, that's all right. I've been dealing a lot of activity today. I need to take a little rest now. How about $100 down? Whoever wins gets 100 G's. I got tons of money. I ain't going to worry about that.
01:06:17
Speaker
All right, let's have a B. Let's see if you can psych him out. You can try to play some mind games with him before you fight him. I don't think I would. All right. We'll just both roll fighting roll. We'll see whose roll is higher.
01:07:00
Speaker
You owe me a hundred dollars worth of drinks you son of a bitch. All right, let me get I ran
01:07:21
Speaker
One more round, double or nothing, $200.
01:07:27
Speaker
I mean, he's got a little strong, powerful little legs. Maybe I know it now. I'm on the wire. I'm ready. I mean, yeah, you might be. So go ahead and try again. And you might if you if you lose, I'll loan you some money.
01:07:42
Speaker
Well, they rolled a crit fail, so you better not also roll a crit fail. You fucking toss him like a coin. He lands heads up. Well, you win my money for earn squares. Another $100 for you there, big guy. Thanks, feller. I appreciate you doing the business with you. Hey, you know, when we get to the party later, you want to have a pissing contest, you can piss along.
01:08:13
Speaker
you better believe it son of a bitch you got water on tap right water on tap water traffic search
01:08:31
Speaker
I'm gonna fill up and I'm not gonna pee all day. I almost said I'm busy, I know I hate him. It's so stupid. My brain's just picturing him going to the water drop just like coughing a bunch of water. Imagine he's putting his lips up to the top of the water, he's like... He's like this really big water belly.
01:08:57
Speaker
Oh my gosh, that's so funny. It's like an inverse of his thin skin, he can't be insulted. He doesn't want to lose. So you do that. Rin, what are you doing? That was such a silly detour. Go ahead, what do you want to do, Rin? Are you going to do the brothel? Is that where you're having a party? That was hurting my heart.
01:09:26
Speaker
Ready? Yeah, I'm here. What do you want to do? Catching my breath. I'm headed back to the brothel to decorate. Okay, roll a decorating roll. Let's call it a spirit roll. A spirit roll? Okay.
01:09:47
Speaker
All right, why don't you both roll spirit rolls? A five. A five, another five. Wow, there's so much spirit. There's 10 plus spirit in here. Yeah. Wow. Wow, a montage plays. All sorts of great things happen. You hang up the streamers, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep,
01:10:12
Speaker
Going behind the bar in the saloon, spraying a hose down his face. He's got two cups, one cup in each hand. Left hand, right hand. You see, you see Bathie taking them to strengthen them up to the, to the bath house and like scooping bath water up. Then we cut back to you guys and you're putting up the balloons. Just like spread lights and everything.
01:10:35
Speaker
Yeah, there's all sorts of really cool lights and everybody's wearing their finest lingerie. Wow. There's a brothel after all. For the party. Yeah. What does Rin wear to the party? I would say probably a nice button-up shirt, like a white button-up shirt and her leather vest and probably some nice black leather pants with it.
01:11:06
Speaker
Nice. How do you put clothes on with your pack, with your tank on the back? Very carefully. Oh, there we go. There you go. They're all designed to cut around the tank. Yeah. Of course, yeah. There's like an opening in the back and she just slides it over. Yeah.
01:11:32
Speaker
Although I think I see a part where the actual water tanks kind of hook off and then she can hook it back on maybe something. I don't know. I'm still trying to figure out the mechanics of that. That could work. That could work. Maverick, what are you wearing to the party? I'm only wearing all-response suit I'm wearing that I occasionally wash, so I wear that. You wear a nice suit?
01:12:00
Speaker
I wear that one suit that I own in my body, yes. Oh, that's great. It's nice. It's nice and clean. What's Ishi wearing to the party? Ishi is wearing like a little bow tie. Excellent. What color is her bow tie? Red. A nice red bow tie. Very nice. Very fetching. She looks kind of like a little cocky. Her eyebrows were kind of like raised up a little bit. Yeah, for sure. She's all like, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr
01:12:31
Speaker
to look like really fancy. She's got tails on. She's looking good. What's Cutter wearing while you're drinking all your water? Probably going to put on that suit I wore for that date with Bethy. Oh yeah, I forgot you had a nice suit that you went to the suit store for.
01:12:54
Speaker
Yeah, it's a nice, was that a blue suit? Didn't you say it was a blue suit? Probably. Yeah. I didn't write it down. That's nice. Yeah. Yeah, so you get decked out of your nice blue suit. And then you get a call, Rin, at the brothel. Ring, ring. Hello. Oh, hey, someone's supposed to come and pick up a cake here. It's Teddy the baker here.
01:13:22
Speaker
Uh, Cutter was supposed to pick up the cakes. Um, yeah, I'll be right there. She like hurries and runs out the door and grabs the cakes. I guess that bonk on the noggin really messed with his memory. I'm just drinking water. You pass him with like a cup of water in his hands from a mug. I got a picture.
01:13:48
Speaker
Like tip it so it like dumps all over his fucking head. Yeah. Thanks for picking up the cakes you dickhead I need to pay on them So you get to the you get to the cake shop and you see you see Thea And she's like where have you been the cakes have been ready for minutes
01:14:19
Speaker
For minutes, sorry. My, my partner was supposed to come pick these up. So, uh, and he apparently got knocked out. So I am here. Uh, what do I owe you? Oh, it's already been paid for. It's already been paid for. Yep. Oh, okay. Well, I'm not going to question that cause, uh, fuck it anyways. Thank you. And she like crickly grabs the cakes and takes off. Be careful. Don't break the rainbows. I won't.
01:14:49
Speaker
someday they'll find it you hear as you as you as you leave they just pulls out a banjo and starts playing sitting on a log yeah and then you hear out a newer and then you hear crutons flying everywhere
01:15:13
Speaker
So yeah, it's a bit of a mess in there. Oh, Mrs. D. Baker, I love you.
01:15:25
Speaker
I told you not to show me affection in front of others. You see him fly out the window. So you get the gigs, you get the gigs. PW opens the door, you guys get everything set. Maverick, what other preparation are you doing before the party starts? I guess.
01:15:52
Speaker
Preparing like the decorations still and Checking up or if cutter hasn't thrown yet Cutter hasn't drowned yet Cutters cutters get a water baby in there It's like god dammit, it's not the party already He she like lands on his lap and starts poking his belly
01:16:29
Speaker
What else do you do, Maverick?
01:16:31
Speaker
Otherwise, it doesn't really have any plans. Okay, just hanging out? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, Sheriff Jeff shows up, you know, he's wearing a nice, you know, his nicest kerchief around his neck. And his nice little brown duster. And he walks in, he goes, Maverick, you son of a bitch, how you been? Oh, I've been great. But it is a thing that I wanted to mention to you. Is it that you're retiring? How did you know?
01:16:59
Speaker
We're travels fast in Dudad. Oh well. Here's your badge back. Thank you for giving me that. Oh no problem. I'll find somebody else. You know, I appreciate what you done did for Dudan. He also gives you back a badge. Oh, where is it? I don't actually remember where she put it. Oh, hey, you know what? It's fine. You know, maybe some other bird will come and pick it up and become my new sheriff's deputy. Yeah.
01:17:29
Speaker
Yeah. Well, hey, you know, I just wanted to say, you know, I appreciate all the work you done, did for me and you did for the town. And, uh, you know, if you, if you need anything in your retirement, you just make sure to come and give me a holiday here. It was a pleasure to work with you as well. I was glad I could help you. Yeah. You know, it's nice to, nice to have sisters. Is that what we're talking about? She's my sister, right? Yeah. That's what we're talking about. Yeah. Good stuff.
01:17:59
Speaker
Mm-hmm get birdie, huh Bring some hot coffee like you do and how the fuck do you do that? Here here's the thing maverick you
01:18:12
Speaker
Bye. And he turns around and he farts and walks away. Just playing secret. That's fast pass. X speed walks. And then you guys hear this really loud whistling sound like, whee.
Quirky Party Dynamics
01:18:33
Speaker
And then you hear just like a loud crash outside.
01:18:38
Speaker
Is she getting attacked? Take cover! Take cover. You hear like a faint, just like, oh god.
01:18:58
Speaker
You see like you just see like a big tuft of smoke outside and like you see fucking Punkenstein fucking like staggers into the brothel There's like a like black smoke everywhere and he's like covered in sweat and his fucking mustache is all fucked up How did you get in my house
01:19:25
Speaker
How did you get in our house? Ah, that is a question that I... What? I'm here for the... the shindig. Where are the sexy ladies? At upstairs, but I think I'm kind of busy today. Oh. Well, hey, that's okay. We're here to celebrate, um... Choppy. Choppy's... What's the names? Choppy's birthday? Exactly. It's like Choppy.
01:19:53
Speaker
It's a combination of, like, chops and, like, puffy. They're, like, kind of fusion together, so they're choppy. Yes. Well, I've made choppy the best choppy weapon for chopping steaks. Do you want to see it? Yeah.
01:20:08
Speaker
You see he like drops this giant metal casing that was on his back and he did he opens it up and he digs into it and he pulls out like this really long pipe that has like a trigger on it and then like he affixes like a fucking hatchet to the end of it and he like he he pulls like this little rope that's on the end of it goes
01:20:26
Speaker
What the fuck is this? And then like the axis starts like chopping at like a mile a minute like chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop, chop. See, now you can chop from like five feet away. You're going to worry about getting all that nasty butcher blood on you. It's quite a construction you built. I don't know how to turn it off. You know why? Maybe you should be like a scientist or something. I am a scientist, I'll fucking dare you.
01:20:55
Speaker
And you don't know how to turn it off. Hey, where's my birds? I don't have any birds yet. Well, I need my birds. Otherwise, all those recordings, those sexy recordings were for nothing. Well, well, they will not expire. You look at your birds.
01:21:10
Speaker
Okay, can somebody shut this off, please? Oh, wait. You notice that he hasn't taken his finger off the trigger? I have an idea. What? Help me. I don't want to wear out the present before we wrap it up. And I gently grab a sign and pull it off the trigger. My God, would you like to be my assistant?
01:21:35
Speaker
No, I don't think that the science feels for me. Oh, come on, we could build lots of pretty girls. I mean, we could help lots of pretty girls. I'm kind of done with that. Gosh, part of me is 50, some of me is 800, some of it's like five, some of it's brand new, just made it this morning.
01:21:56
Speaker
Ah, you know, there's always room to improve. Maverick, that was the name, right? That was... I'm surprised you don't remember my name, yeah. Yes, you and your itchy bird, itchy. The things I could do with itchy. Come here, you. Like, itchy flys over to a paxel on the forehead. Ah, yes. A woman of taste. Good job. Very good. Ryn, where do I put the present?
01:22:23
Speaker
Right, there's fine. He puts it on the floor. Or you can put it out back. Ah, well, that would involve me having to bend over again. And that's a whole thing. My back's not as young as the rest of me. All right, that's fine. There's fine.
Party Entertainment Discussions
01:22:44
Speaker
All right, cool. Where's the cake? I want food. Where's the birthday children? They're little kids, right? No, they're not children. And I have the cakes, but I need hair. Maverick, will you help me carry these out to the backyard? No, of course, yeah. Thank you. Man, I prepared the clowns. Now what am I supposed to do without the clowns? Oh, well, I mean, I guess we could still have clowns. It's not that kind of party, but I guess we could still have some fun. Huzzah!
01:23:13
Speaker
When I crashed in, I shot a bunch of children in the face with masks. They all look like clowns. They all come off for a couple of hours. We'll have clowns for days, but at least for hours. Free entertainment. Yes, it's funny to watch them try to get it off. Dumb little tiny people. Revolutionary idea. So funny. Hey, where's that guy you hang out with? Didn't you say there was someone else you pal around with around here?
01:23:43
Speaker
mean cutter he's around here somewhere what's he look like I need to meet this famous cutter the legend has spread that he cuts with a cutlass oh yeah here let me call him cutter
01:23:59
Speaker
I lean out from the bar and I very uncomfortably wave. I don't move. Hey there, mister. You look like your bladder's full of something. It is. I'm just waiting on a fellow. We're going to have a piss and mash here pretty soon and I'm going to win it. I have an invention for that. Would you like to turn your pisser into a gun? No.
01:24:23
Speaker
Are you sure? You're pissed far and wide. I need to just last very long. Pissing. I need to piss as long as I can. That's why I drank so much and I'm very full. And you see a little, a little, very small fella. Oh, I see. I shot them in the face with masks. Oh, he was. I don't know how many there are here, but he has very strong legs. Ah, I admire a good pair of legs. Yes. Um, would you like a clothespin to pin that thing shut?
01:24:47
Speaker
No, no, I don't think I would want to do that. All right. How about I solder it shut with a soldering gun? Then you'll hold it until, well, I guess, oh, I don't know how to un-solder though. Don't think that you want that. Who's this fella that's trying to burn my pecker?
Character Improvements and Poker Games
01:25:08
Speaker
That's Dr. Frankenstein. Oh, is it the fella? Pleasure to meet you, sir. Thanks for
01:25:16
Speaker
doing whatever you did to her to make her good. A lot. You'll see. Ah, yes. That is a story that I will tell when I get more drunk. I'm here to get... ducked up. Give me some of that sweet, delicious liqueur. You got it. So what do you do with your party?
01:25:42
Speaker
So there'll be like you know your normal food and everybody gets together and has a good time and gets drunk and plays cards or there'll be like a Texas hold'em table off to the side so they can all you know play cards. I want to play poker. Yeah.
01:26:02
Speaker
Right. There's some pokering going on. Sheffi's having a great time. Mutton Shop Joe reluctantly leaves his office and comes into the sunlight for a brief moment to look at the party and say,
01:26:19
Speaker
Yeah, it looks good. It looks good. Then he walks back into the sheriff's office in the phone. You see him and he comes back out and he sits up a chair and he kind of sits on the porch and says, Danes.
01:26:35
Speaker
Paint me here. Dave comes out and paints him another birthday boy painting while he watches you all party from the Phony Express. Cutter, the little man finds you eventually and challenges you to a piss off.
01:26:53
Speaker
Oh, finally come to get your ticket. Take your beat and have your fella. Why don't we do a shooting role? To see who shoots the best. Wow. That's how he was told you off it. Wow. A hole in the dirt outside.
01:27:13
Speaker
You out-piss him big time. You just make a little crater in the dirt. He's been done for a minute. I'm like, fella, get the town doctor. It's starting to hurt now. I think I made a mistake. And you see the town doctor's husband shows up. He's like, I could help you out, cutter. Just let me pitch that thing off. No, maybe get blood. Keep your little hands away.
01:27:42
Speaker
You see, as that's going on, Rin, a chef, he's having a really great time. He gives you a big old squeeze because he's so happy with how the party turned out. He's eating goulash right out of the bowl. And he says, oh, Rin, I just can't believe you went through all this trouble for a little old me. And I mean, the other guy, but also me. Of course, you're my favorite. Just don't tell the others.
01:28:11
Speaker
I'm telling everybody. And he runs throughout the party going, I'm her favorite. I'm her favorite. Damn it. Maverick, Sheriff Jeff comes back eventually, and you guys share a cup of pipe and hot coffee, and he tries to teach you the way of the scolding hot lava. He's shadowing his secret with me.
01:28:39
Speaker
Yes, he's teaching you his Illuminati secrets. He learns how to drink pipe and hot coffee, and he even gives a little thimble for Ishi to drink out of.
Winding Down the Party
01:28:50
Speaker
And you guys, and all of a sudden, Ishi's like, Bragger, bragger, bragger. She turns into a gremlin. She turns into a gremlin. It's time for once off the week. That's right.
01:29:07
Speaker
So yeah, the party winds down eventually after a few hours. People are passed out everywhere. Dr. Pungenstein passed out like two hours into the party. Sheffi and you guys walks over to the Phoney Express and sits with Mutt and Chop Joe, and they invite you three over to come and hang out for all the hard work that you did.
01:29:34
Speaker
And, uh, lady Danes is also there and chef. He says, boy, that was one hell of a shindig. Wasn't it? Oh, for sure. Yeah. Shindig. That was a shindig. Indeed. That was a good old time. It was cutter. How you feeling there? Big guy. Oh, better now. I had my, I beat that feller that contest we had. Yeah, I heard he paid you $300 for losing.
01:30:03
Speaker
Oh, no, he didn't give me no, no, no. That's somebody must have started that little, little joke of a rumor or something. Oh, well then I'm going to go look for that $300. No, okay. That's life changing money. I'll piss, I'll piss on a guy for $300. That's what you did. You pissed on a guy cutter. No, no, I pissed longer than him.
01:30:28
Speaker
Oh, I mean, I could try that. I suppose it's not as fun. But sure, I'll give it a go. And Sheriff Jeff comes out of his office later, you know, still jacked up on Mountain Dew and coffee. He sits down next to you Maverick, and he gives you a very special gun. It's a very shiny 357 Magnum revolver that from
01:30:56
Speaker
Well, it was mine when I was a new guy, you know, a new deputy working my way through the ranks and learning my ways. And, you know, uh, you know, I just don't find myself, uh, using it all that much anymore. And I thought maybe you might like to have it. I don't know what to say. That's so nice of you. Yeah. Well, Hey, you know what? Just, uh, just do me a favor and, uh, find a, find something that makes you happy. All right. I'm sure. Well, yeah. Thank you.
01:31:24
Speaker
Yeah.
Art Session Proposal and Reflections
01:31:26
Speaker
Mutt and Shop Joe puts his hand on your shoulder ring and he says, hey, you feel like doing a little sketchy poo? Sure. You know, it's been a while and I haven't had one from my best girl yet, so.
01:31:45
Speaker
Yeah, we kind of got interrupted last time with having to leave to help Maverick, so I'll have to finish the other one because I'm pretty sure and she like opens up her journal and you can see like partially the sketch is like halfway like really good and then like you could tell like when she started to get like really drunk and it's like all like
01:32:11
Speaker
not so good in the other half. She's like, I'm going to have to fix this. So. And she shows it to him. Yeah, about that. Yeah. Hey, why don't we just get started on that right now, huh? Yeah. Yes. He he he he walks towards the door and the door opens up and he says right this way and the lady
01:32:44
Speaker
And as you guys go in there, Cutter, as you see, Sheffi runs off to try to find the guy to piss on. Bathie shows up and she sits down next to you and kind of gets a little close to you and she says, so how was your big day, Cutter? How do you feel? Oh, pretty alright, Bathie. Well, somewhat through my own silliness, I got a little bit of money for us to start stashing away.
01:33:13
Speaker
Oh, yeah. I heard that you pissed on a guy for $300. He didn't pay me. And now it was a contest of who could go to law. It doesn't matter. Anyway, yeah, one job was well, I mean, I think I have some talks or something at some point, but he gave me a good bit of money because he must have known about I must have told him he wouldn't help out. And then I've won some more from that feller doing wrestling with him and whatnot. You were doing you were wrestling and I wasn't around to see it.
01:33:42
Speaker
Oh, you know, it was just sort of all spur of a moment. People kept shouting out challenges and I was, you know, I gotta tell you, Beth, I lost to Sheriff Jeff playing boppet. So I was a little, my pride was a little hurting. So I had to beat that little fella at a game or two. Well, hey, you know what? I understand.
01:34:02
Speaker
It takes a big man to admit that they need to beat a little man to feel better about themselves.
01:34:17
Speaker
And hey, you know what? I'm proud of you. I think you did a good job today. And just, just in general, you know, I saw you guys caught that evil gasher guy. I saw that you guys, you know, been helping people around town and you do a nice birthday party. I mean, I don't know how this town ever got along without all of you. I don't really rightly know, but seems like we're doing all right these days. Hope for everybody.
01:34:48
Speaker
Yeah And she says why hey, why don't we why don't we go get you some shut-eye, huh? It's been a long day it has a Yeah, that's good. I don't think I really wanted I'm gonna skip the bass tonight, too Don't need to see no more water tonight
01:35:03
Speaker
I know. I understand. You know, there's still quite a sizable pool in the backyard. Yeah, I might say I need a good dry day for that all dry. Who doesn't need a good dry day, Cutter?
Closing Scene with Mysterious Note
01:35:22
Speaker
And as you guys all go about your usual things,
01:35:27
Speaker
Up in the sky, we see two beautiful ravens gliding across the light of the full moon. And you hear, as the camera fades to black, oh, Punky, I love your stash.
01:36:56
Speaker
You still look good already.