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EP 65: Cutting the Cord
1.3k Plays13 days ago
In this episode of Mom Group Chat, Candace and Whitney dive into the world of transitions and talk about one of the hardest parenting decisions—knowing when to “cut the cord” on things like pacifiers, bottles, and other comfort habits. They share their personal experiences with their little ones, discussing how they navigated those transitions, tips for helping kids adjust, and how to know when the time is right. They also tackle the emotions tied to these moments of growth and change for both the kids and the parents.
Plus, Candace opens up about a different kind of preparation: getting ready for an incoming hurricane.
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Transcript
00:00:07
Speaker
There's no right way to do it.
00:00:12
Speaker
Oh, we're gonna get into it. whatup moms i'm whitney and i'm here with my best friend candace and where the mom group chat podcast We're feeling giggly today everyone. but ah I'm always kind of giggly. I've been in like a giggly, can't stop laughing mood. I swear it's, it's, it's spawned from my friend's dog. I can't talk about it. Oh my God. The dog picture you sent me the haircut. Oh, I can't talk about it. I'll start crying. Anyway, anytime like I think of that, like I,
00:00:51
Speaker
Wow. I need to like think of like Lucky Charms, horses. Okay. Wow. I have to like bring myself out of the giggle fest. But with Lucky Charms and horses? That's so random. I don't know. It's something I used to do when I was little. This is really like...
00:01:14
Speaker
um exposing me a little bit when I was little and I was in those moods and I would get in trouble at school, I would like repeat random things. I had to make myself stop laughing.
00:01:27
Speaker
Oh, that's so interesting. Because I got in trouble a lot. um Because you know when you get in that giggly mood and you're in class and the teachers like stop and it makes it worse? Kind of like how you and Shannon were saying like the worst place to like start cracking up is church. Church, yep. 100%. It makes everything amplified. That's what I used to have to do. um So what's up with you? Wow.
00:01:54
Speaker
I feel like your freaking weirdo. You're not a weirdo. Also, I would just be giggly. I love when we're giggly together. That's my favorite. So today I am Dolly Parton with my huge ass hair. I just did my hair. I was telling Whitney, and it is.
00:02:18
Speaker
Very large, but I'm kind of loving it. We are in the depths of hurricane prep right now. We are currently under evacuation and here I am sitting my happy ass at home.
00:02:29
Speaker
We're recording a podcast before the power grows out. Hurry. ah But it's fine. We're going to evacuate this afternoon. If you are listening to this and you also deal with hurricanes, there is a hurricane highlight on our Instagram with all the things I do to prep that I filmed last year, probably. But yeah, you know, so many things. I feel like obviously we talk all the time, but so many things have happened in the past week. I went to the dermatologist.
00:02:59
Speaker
ah yeah and got a full body checkup. um I have a history ah strong strong family history of skin cancer. so i it's been like Whitney has been like six years since I've been, which is so bad.
00:03:16
Speaker
Well, I feel like this is when people Like I do this with Chris like I'll brag about going to the dentist and get getting my teeth cleaned and then it just gives The other person a pit like I have a pit like you're so proud you went and I have a pit and It was so not as bad as I thought. i There was no problem areas. I had nothing cut off of me or removed. I was so happy. ah and The reason I wanted to bring this up is because I've talked to on here about how my pregnancies gave me rosacea.
00:03:47
Speaker
huh Hormonal rosacea and the doctor was so nice. I told her about it and like how I've been dealing with it. And I got two prescriptions, like topical creams, one for the morning and one for the night that were completely covered by insurance.
00:04:03
Speaker
And rosacea isn't something that's like completely healable, but it is completely manageable to where like it wouldn't really happen anymore. yeah And so i they actually are were delivered, which is crazy. They used some special pharmacy that delivers it to your door. I was like, okay.
00:04:21
Speaker
I'm living in the year 2040 right now. like I don't know. so They're at my door right now and I am so excited to report back. so This is my message to you if you have dealt with. Also, she told me it's like really common after pregnancy. like That is one of the most common things they hear after people deal with pregnancy. but So if you are dealing with rosacea, go see a dermatologist. I will on Instagram ah put the exact, I don't know the months off my head, but I'll put the, what I was prescribed and I'll report back to you guys on my rosacea journey.
00:05:00
Speaker
Yeah. That's, I mean, it sounds like it is common if it's covered by insurance. So that's such good news. I'm excited for you. I know that that was bothering you. It was like, my face is red all the time. Like I was starting to feel, and I've never really been this, I mean, i I love makeup, you guys know, and I love like putting on makeup. So it's not like I'm annoyed that I had to put on makeup all the time, but it was just that like,
00:05:25
Speaker
i could I was feeling more self-conscious without makeup because of how red my cheeks get. And even to the point where Vinny, I could tell Vinny was noticing it, he would be like, are you okay? He would ask me, are you really hot? He would be like, because your face is really red. And I'm like, no, I'm literally just living my fucking life over here, red faced. You're like, only hot for you.
00:05:52
Speaker
Yeah. So I'm just excited to like stop looking like a tomato all the time. Um, and I don't know, I just was pro I feel like I was proud of myself at the doctor because that is something I maybe would have just dealt with to be like, Oh, well that's just like something that happened, you know? yeah And I definitely wasn't there like for my rosacea. I was just there for like a bodily checkup, you know? But the fact that I like advocated for myself and asked about it, and then now there's like a solution. i'm like like I'm already thinking in my head of all the other things I should just ask about. You know what I mean? What else should I bring up? Hurry. um Well, like like for example, like our TECO bill, has been which is like our electric bill, has been so high for the past year. and and like I get that the the summertime is always high.
00:06:44
Speaker
But I was talking to someone the other day and they were like, oh yeah, I called Tico and they came out and did, and like it lowered my bill by a hundred dollars. I'm like, I just need to start advocating for myself and like.
00:06:56
Speaker
Maybe I can fix some of my problems. Yeah. No, I feel that for some reason, my Wi-Fi bill went up and I'm like, I have got to call them. It went up like 25 bucks. I'm like, there's no reason I should be spending this amount of money for Wi-Fi only. It's not like I even have a landline or nothing. like This is crazy.
00:07:17
Speaker
I hope that, um, I was going to bring it back to the hurricane that everything goes okay. And that y'all are y'all are leaving, right? Cause yes, we're gonna head north and inland to my mom, which is honestly like, we're so blessed. I know that because there are so many people who have to evacuate. I was just vase, or I was just voice noting with your friend Brittany, actually, oh yeah who lives in spring Hill.
00:07:43
Speaker
And, um, you know, we're so lucky that we have family here that live like inland. And, um, it's great because my mom has two cribs and like all of the set up there. So I don't have to do too much. I mean, we have to like pack up the dogs and make sure we have all the stuff for the dogs. And, um, I do need to bring like, I'm, um, I already told my mom, I was like, I'm sorry, but I'm packing up the Brezza and bringing it with us because I do that every, I take it to Clarksville.
00:08:13
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, like I 100 percent doing that. No, I bring it everywhere or to my parents with me. I'm like, you're coming with me. It just is so much easier to have it around. Like, I don't know what I did last. Like when Alice was drinking formula, you were so like what? What was I doing? I don't understand. Like, I cannot believe I let myself do that.
00:08:40
Speaker
I seriously like the fact that I didn't, I, I'm, I'm stupid. If you're listening to this and you have a baby who's on formula or you're pregnant, just buy the Brezza or make it your number one most wanted gift on your registry because.
00:08:55
Speaker
It's life-changing. But anyways, um yeah, so we're headed there this afternoon. i'm goingnna The weather's beautiful right now, so I'm going to enjoy my day. I had a we had ah i like honestly had a crazy day yesterday, and I didn't get a lot of work done, so I'm going to take full advantage of this day. Both my kids are out of the house and get a lot of work done, and then we'll head there this afternoon. so Perfect. Yeah.
00:09:21
Speaker
But. Well, maybe we can reshare or resurface the archive of your hurricane video or at least one of. Yeah, I'll do that today. Yeah, I'll do that today and reshare it because I do share some share some good chips. um
00:09:39
Speaker
yeah I share some good tips in there. And as a person who was born and raised in Florida, like I've lived through so many freaking hurricanes It is a different ballgame dealing with it with babies. I'm not going to lie. And there's so much more at stake. Like hurricanes used to just be like wine snacks and like candlelight. Like that's truly like low key hurricanes used to be romantic. Like we used to just like light candles, have some wine and like eat Fritos. And now it is not fun.
00:10:13
Speaker
But Candice is like, it's like I don't know. The only um picture that is like when whipping by and Candice is like, this is so romantic. Like the waters leaking into our door. Like this is so nice. Like what? Oh, my God. It's like the Titanic. Yeah. Yeah.
00:10:34
Speaker
Bye Vinny. Me romanticizing hurricanes. I'm trying to rebrand hurricanes. Okay. We're going through a rebrand. You're doing a great job with it. Oh my God. That is funny. But in like true yeah Floridian fashion, I was like, wow, Candice, I feel like there's so many going, like there's been so many and she's like, actually, this is a mild year for hurricanes. I'm like,
00:10:58
Speaker
All right. I don't know. I don't live there. It just sounds like they're constantly happening. Well, it's so funny because every year they're like, this year it's going to be a bad one. But that's like they said that going into this year. And of course they say like there's some teller in the like Asia that, you know, to whatever like.
00:11:18
Speaker
this year was not a bad one this is our only we had one other tropical storm and it was not bad we got a lot of rain but that was it and then this is the other one that's like and it's always in september like i just need to it's it's never fails september is the time for storms like So it's funny because my mom group is planning, we're trying to plan a trip and they want to go to Mexico to an all inclusive. And, and we're looking at fall time of next year. And I was like, let's shoot for yeah not September or August. I just don't want to like risk it.
00:12:00
Speaker
We were supposed to go to Mexico for Whitney's 21st birthday. Yeah. And it, a hurricane hit and we weren't able to go. It was so sad. We went to Nashville instead, which yeah we I wasn't living here at the time. So yeah, but you were sad about it. Yeah. I mean, it was going to be a bomb. Like all my bestie gals in Mexico turning 21. Like, damn. Yeah.
00:12:28
Speaker
missed opportunity. It was hard. It was hard, too, because you were one of the first to turn 21. So like in Nashville. Yeah, I got to think I'd eat. Oh, yeah. We were all going to be OK in Mexico, which was right. Because one. Yeah.
00:12:44
Speaker
It's okay. We made it work and actually that trip was so fun. I have fond fond memories but We all had diary on the way home, oh My god, that's one of my favorite memories. I'm dead serious. We like I cannot go into the details Because I don't want to embarrass us and our friends but just know that I shit went down. Okay. but That's all you need to know. We stopped a hundred times on the four hour drive home. So we were all like sick, literally. Okay. One more life update and then we'll get into the topic of today. But, um, I injured myself pretty crazy last night. I know I texted you about it. So I will, I will get into the details. Well, I am going to get into a little bit of the details.
00:13:40
Speaker
But I was prepping chili. I was like trying to be a cute little housewife and prepped dinner early so that it's in the crock pot when Vinny got home. And i out Alice was around. So this is partly her fault. Sorry, girl. But she was like getting into something and reaching for something. I wasn't paying attention. And I sliced right through my middle finger nail, like straight through the nail.
00:14:11
Speaker
cut it in half, it was pretty bad. It was bad. It was bad. So if you see me talking through this and I'm just, i and like my body can't let this finger relax right now. So I'm just flicking off everyone all the time. I had a work meeting at 9.30.
00:14:33
Speaker
I had a work meeting at 9 30 and I was like this the whole time and I was like, I'm so sorry. I'm just flicking you off because i my body like cannot let this finger. It's just stuck like this. So anyways, it's bandaged and it's fine. It was pretty painful yesterday. It feels better today. And I've been taking Tylenol and Advil and it is tightly bandaged, but.
00:14:56
Speaker
That is disgusting. I'm not getting my nails done for a very long time, apparently, because I have read that the way I injured my fingernail, first of all, it's going to fall off. ah Love that for me. um And that a new one won't grow back for 12 to 18 months. I'm sorry, you're going to have a toddler at that point.
00:15:19
Speaker
Your kid's going to be in kindergarten. I'm going to be pregnant again. You're going to have this freaky ass nail. Ew. Yeah. No, I'm going to need like I'm going to need it. I don't know what I'm going to need, but I'm going to need something. I'm going to I don't know. I'm going to I'm going to become Michael Jackson and wear gloves all the time. Please don't. That is not like the icon you should go after. Yeah. yeah Who else wears gloves? Mickey Mowrella. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
00:15:50
Speaker
so no that anyways so yeah That's what else happened last night, but and but then I had a delicious chili I texted you and I was like are we okay because I think I broke my toe Injuries all around well I i said this in our in our post yesterday because we posted our ah everyday joy or choosing joy episode. And the clip I posted was like just me complaining like a whiny little bitch. And I understand that that's kind of what's happening right now. But I have a positive. It's fine. I'm in a positive headspace, but.
00:16:25
Speaker
It does feel like mercury is in retrograde or whatever the equivalent of that is in mom worlds. Like I said that in the caption. I was like, whatever the equivalent of like mercury and retrograde and also the poll yesterday, everyone agrees. Yeah. Everyone's having a tough time. Yeah. But I feel like you're in a, you're in a good little mood. You're like a hyper. I am. I actually am in a good mood.
00:16:51
Speaker
It's because of romantic hurricanes coming. She's like, oh, I get to get out of the house, do something new. No, I am in a good mood. I'm in a good headspace. You know, just the punches keep coming and I keep dodging. So speaking of speaking of like romantic, this is ah so freaking random. But like I just listened to the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack this morning and like I know in me in me is our last name Rossum Ross. She put her bussy into that soundtrack. She is amazing. I need to listen to that. do You know, they're remaking the Phantom of the Opera with the guy who did. um Like, what's his name um or the movie with the greatest showman? Oh, the guy who. did What? you Hugh Hugh Jackman.
00:17:48
Speaker
No, no, no, like the director, the creator, like, yeah. I was like, wait. Oh, my God. I love the greatest show. Do you not like that movie? I've never seen it. Have you seen fan of the opera? Yes. Because I like, you know, in high school and you're all fucking weird and you make like so things your whole personality like that was my personality in ninth grade.
00:18:12
Speaker
Um, and actually I've realized rich daddy, poor daddy. When I sang that it was to the like hum of a Phantom of the Opera song, but it was like so deep in my brain. I didn't at the time realize that's what I was doing. I wasn't laying a soundtrack to Phantom of the Opera, but it, it is what it is. Um,
00:18:35
Speaker
Interesting. You know, that kind of tracks, honestly, like you're into like weird, spooky, like shit like fan was the opera. It's a little spooky. Yeah, it's freaky. It's good.
00:18:51
Speaker
So like it totally tracks like that is you and I am great at showman like that tracks for me like very showy and like like honestly, this is we're we are nothing if not consistent. OK, I love us.
00:19:10
Speaker
Oh, my God. So, OK, homework. I'm going to rewatch Phantom of the Opera because I'm not going to lie, it's been a really long time. and your homework is to watch Greatest Showman. Okay, that sounds fun. I feel like I would like, I think I would like it. I think you would like it too. I like Zendaya. It was before Zac Efron turned to weird, you know, like before he started to look a little funky hunky. I mean, I cannot even look at that man. I don't know what happened. I need answers. He has the crimson chin, like from. I like, is it filler? Like what is, what happened to him?
00:19:51
Speaker
Lockjaw, blockhead. I'm not trying to be mean, but something's weird. No, something's weird. Like, I can't even look at him. That new my yeah movie he had with Joey King and Nicole Kidman. Like, it's Chris and I were just like, we almost can't watch this. He's so distracting. I'm distracted. Yeah. Yeah. It's so sad. Like, when I say he was like everything to us when we were like 14 and 15.
00:20:18
Speaker
like on him. Oh, I did. I mean, like a high school musical. Were you not a high school musical girl? I've never seen that either. I got to go. I have to leave. How old are we when that came out? We were freshman year of high school. Candace, where were you actually? What?
00:20:45
Speaker
I'm Googling. Hold on. We might have even been in eighth grade. Hold on. Well. What am I doing? I think I had moved on to like the OC. Well, I was super into that, too. Laguna. 2006. So yeah, freshman year of high school. Mm hmm.
00:21:08
Speaker
Or when we started listening no shame in my game, we started driving that year. Yeah, but I was I was 15 turning and high school musical. It is about high school.
00:21:27
Speaker
Listen, I have no shame in that. And I, I'm going to need the high school musical girlies to rally behind me here. And come after me for sure. For sure. yeah I also, I am nothing. If not, how many times do I have to say it like that? I love pop culture forever and ever. And that was very much a pop culture like thing. That's so true. So you're into pop culture, but you're against the grain.
00:21:56
Speaker
Yeah, and I don't mean to be. No, no, no, it's not for you. It's not like performative. You know how some people just love to hate on whatever's popular, like just to be different. That's not you. You just like like different things. Yeah, I just don't watch it. I'm like, oh, I missed it. Yeah. Missed that culture reset right there. Damn. Hmm. I don't know what it is. I love that about you, though. Whatever you keep me young.
00:22:27
Speaker
Okay. Well, I'm not going to add a high school musical to your list because that's one of those things that if you were to watch now, you would be like, this is so stupid. And I'm sure if I were to rewatch it right now, I'd be like, no, no, no. And I, it would ruin it for me. So I just want you to know that you missed a phenomenon at the time, but like, it's not worth. Yeah. Yeah. It's not, it's not worth rewatching right now. Cause you would be like, this is.
00:22:53
Speaker
It's nice. Yeah, i feel I feel that. I feel like I did miss that, but it's like, you know, the people that didn't watch Harry Potter and you're like, all right, just watch it. Like what are you doing? Oh my gosh. It's almost my time. I do it every year around between like Halloween and Christmas. I watch all of them. ah They're so good. So good. ah Okay. Shall we get into the topic for today? I mean, if we could stop yapping for one second,
00:23:22
Speaker
Never. That's what the people love. They love to hear us. Yeah. okay I love the yap is like trendy right now. Like that's the word. It's so funny. So funny.
00:23:35
Speaker
Okay. So today we were going to talk a little bit about what we're calling it cutting the cord episode, which is not about birth and actually cutting the cord. yeah It is disgusting. Actually. and No, I don't want to talk about that. whyy as Why disgusting roped around? and Yeah, no, no, we're not talking about that. I love that it gave my baby life, but like never want to think about it again. um ah We wanted to talk about like these hard transitions of like giving up the passy, maybe like um giving up the bottle, cutting the cord on these comfort items that our kids are obsessed with and feel really daunting as parents.
00:24:22
Speaker
because this is like something that soothes them or gives them comfort and also just so deeply rooted in our routines with our little ones. It's like it feels really overwhelming and daunting to get rid of some of these things.
00:24:40
Speaker
And sometimes like it's just like you want things to happen naturally and it's not natural like you're having. Yeah, they never do. No, you're having to force this stuff. It's like we just had Margo's 12 month appointment and he's like, you can be done with the bottle. And I'm like, just like that. OK. So you kind of just like cold turkey some of this stuff or there's different tactics for these things. But it's like almost harder for the parent than the kid. Totally.
00:25:09
Speaker
It's scary, man. I'm I mean, it's not fun. OK, so let's let's start by talking about the things that like the comfort things that our our kids have experienced. You're in an interesting point because Graydon took a pass. Correct. And loves it. Still does. OK, like this episode is what gave me the kick in the butt. Graydon is almost three.
00:25:37
Speaker
And I don't I don't want to say like I'm embarrassed. He's still using it because I'm not. But at the same time, I know and I've known in the back of my head, I should have gotten rid of it a year ago. It just was like, OK, we had Margo. I came up with all the excuses like I was like, I'm not. Yeah, I'm not dealing with this right now. I'm not going through two sleep regressions, you know, whatever. Right. So this gave me the kick in the boutoir to take the pass away.
00:26:06
Speaker
because his third birthday's coming up and I was like, oh my gosh, I've got to do it. And it's the parents' responsibility to do it. And Chris and I have been so scared every night. We're like, tonight's the night and then we're both like, no, no, no, we can't do it. Well, because your sleep is so precious, you know, and so the thought of it disrupting your whole night, like it's not just that he's uncomfortable, it's like we're uncomfortable too. Mom and dad are uncomfortable also.
00:26:34
Speaker
So it's really daunting. Okay. So you took it from him last night. Literally this was the first night and we talked to him and we, I mean, used all the bribes like Graydon every night that you don't sleep without passing. You get another birthday present, like trying to say all the things. Cause like the fairy thing with the cake pops was not working. Like we would bring that up. We've brought that up for like a month and he was like,
00:26:59
Speaker
I don't give a heck about a fairy or a cake pop. Um, so we basically, he couldn't find it last night. And so I was like, I'm just going to go with it. And I was like, Graydon, you left it at school. We don't have it here. It's gone. There we go. She's never taken it to school. Like he doesn't use it all day. He only has it at night. He naps without it at school. So I'm like, I know this is possible. It's possible yeah yeah possible. Um,
00:27:28
Speaker
So we just ran with it and he it was kind of rough. He was upset. Like he brought it up a lot um last night before actually going to bed. We finally got him down. He popped back up. I mean, it was like an hour of fighting. Damn. um And he had to lay in the bed with me for a little bit, which is not something I want to do, even though. Yeah, yeah.
00:27:51
Speaker
Wow, I would find so much joy sleeping with my children. that I'm just that person. like I love that, but um it took a while. and I was like, oh my God, is it going to be like this every night that I'm going to have to like comfort him in some way? but At one point, I said, Graydon, I know you're tired. Let's go to your bed. and He was like, okay. and He gave in. This was like at 8.30. It wasn't like super late. but Yeah, it was a bit of a struggle. um Night one. Yeah. OK, so you'll have to keep us updated. So, OK, but let's go back a little bit because he had a passie or in, you know, all the time, I would say like that. That's how Alice did. And then you eventually transitioned to it being only during sleep time, right?
00:28:39
Speaker
Yeah. I think it's like when he went to daycare, we own, we never let him take it to daycare. So from nine months on, he was doing it without, he's not, he never had it during the day. So like, it was really just like a me and Chris crutch at night. like and Okay. Because he was able to go all day without it. I mean, you're better than me because Alice had it all the time, all the time for until she was okay.
00:29:09
Speaker
I don't know the math here. Do you remember how long it took? I'm not going to embarrass myself with math. Not not this again. Yeah, not not this again. We took it away. OK, she was 18 months, actually, almost. Yeah, right around 18 months. We just did cold turkey like that. So I mean, what we're doing.
00:29:28
Speaker
Yeah, like we, I did plan a little like thing where I had a little glitter box. That was like an old gift thing. And I remember it was the Monday after Thanksgiving last year. So she was around 18 months ish, maybe 19 months. And we had.
00:29:48
Speaker
the, this little glitter box and I told her that we had to send it to the princess babies. I don't know. I just made this up. Okay. And she kind of was into it. Like she also got a toy once we, I wrapped a toy, like a fun new toy and I said, once we send this to the princess babies, we you get to open your toy. and She did it. she put them all of her We collected all of them and put them in this little glitter box. and she We walked to the mailbox together and put them in the mailbox, which of course during her nap time I went and like got them and threw them away. but
00:30:27
Speaker
She was okay. And I, our situation was honestly, it was much easier than I thought. Like she maybe asked for it one or two times, but it was more like, no, we sent it to the princess babies. Remember? And she would say, okay. And she laid down and like, it was fine. Like I was shocked. And I, there yeah, last night was, I just felt so bad. Like, I know, but, and I,
00:30:56
Speaker
I do think I actually think doing it then when she was like not as able to ask as many questions. I think if we were to do it now when she's like smarter and can catch on to things, she would be like, why? Yeah. Or ask more questions and want it more like Evie took takes a pass to you now and is ah into it just like Alice's and like I actually think I'm going to do around the same time, like 18 months ish and try and get rid of it because I don't want to wait till there. I just feel like she would ask more questions if she's a little bit older. Yeah, I don't know. I just feel like there's some things Chris and I do a really good job with on like, I don't want to say like following the rules, but like the ways of what the doctor recommends and ways of motion of like growing up.
00:31:48
Speaker
childhood, toddler age, whatever. And I feel like that was one of our setbacks that and like we haven't gone to the dentist, which a pit. I have a pit again about this. Like I have not taken him to the dentist. So like those are the two things I haven't been either. So I feel like, ah, just book it, you know. Anyway, but we did it. This episode pushed me to do it. I'll let you know how it goes. I.
00:32:18
Speaker
He's definitely older, wiser, makes me scared, but I've been reading horror stories about it, like taking it away at this age and it's really, I've seen a lot of bad stuff, so.
00:32:31
Speaker
Well, the first thing I want to say is you don't need to defend yourself about like doing it now or waiting this long. Like this goes back to the core value of the show and that is that there is no right or wrong way to do anything in motherhood. It's like all about you and your child and what is the right time for them and for you guys as a family and that's just something that like you haven't felt the need to tackle until right now. So that's fine. Like, yeah you know, and you know, Graydon, you guys know yourself as a family and like maybe this episode pushed you a little bit, but like you probably this is probably the right time. You know what I mean? Like, but don't you shouldn't feel bad or feel like you have to defend yourself for like waiting this long because you are an amazing mom and there's no right or wrong time for anything. We're all just doing our best.
00:33:25
Speaker
so Thank you. Yeah, um I feel like. a weight is lifted that we're committing. um And yeah, but we shall see. I actually, that's a good like tidbit there is I feel like the number one tip I have in any transition or like big change is just commitment and like ah you and your spouse have to be aligned and you have to like come up with a little bit of a plan and be on the same page in the sense of like,
00:33:59
Speaker
If your child is going to ask why something is happening, you and your husband are saying the same thing or you and your partner are saying the same thing and you're just committed. You're like, we're going to do it. You can't do this is and you have to, yeah, you can't cave because then they just reinforces them to like step back. So that's my biggest advice is to just stick. We're not going to, yeah, we're not going to cave. Um,
00:34:24
Speaker
And like also ah something I always keep in the back of my mind, thanks to moms on call is like a transition takes three days to a week. So I just have to think it's a week of being hard. And if it continues being hard after that, like we can reevaluate, but just prepare yourself for that hard week of change.
00:34:45
Speaker
Yeah, 100%. And I know, like, it was funny because I was way more scared to transition out of the passee. But for us, the bottle was way harder. Oh, really?
00:35:02
Speaker
Oh, yeah, 100 percent. She would when we took away especially that night bottle and the morning bottle like I'm not even going to front here. Alice took a morning bottle until she was almost two. Like I think a lot of people do that.
00:35:19
Speaker
It was so hard for us. She would not drink milk out of a um sippy cup. She won't drink it out of a straw or sippy cup. And Alice was so, is so tiny. She still is. Like I went at her two and a half year checkup and I was asking them like, I mean, don't get me wrong. Like she's fine, but like she doesn't eat a lot and I'm concerned about it a little bit.
00:35:43
Speaker
And the doctor was like, and she doesn't drink any milk. Like milk is a great way for her to get those essential fats and you know, whatever. And nope, she will not drink braden does' milk out of a, yeah. And so.
00:36:00
Speaker
That bottle was a crutch for me, to be honest, because I knew that it was calories and I was like, it's not that bad. Like, and she would demand a bottle when she got up in the morning and I just let it live like that for a long time. So like, yeah, we gave up the passy at 18 months, but like she drank a bottle for um until she was almost two and not transition to have tell her to Like when we did start waking her up and not giving her a bottle, like screams, tantrums, so upset. And it's so hard to watch them cry and like want something so badly that as a parent would feel so easy to just be like here, you know?
00:36:46
Speaker
And then for us to back to you, it's like, this is the right thing. Like you've got to do it. Yeah. And and with Evie coming, I remember it was like, we gave it up kind of close to when Evie was born. And I was like, it's going to be like, we need a good month or two before Evie is born because he's going to be getting bottles. And I know she if we were to just give it up around the same same time, she would be like, what the.
00:37:16
Speaker
How come she gets a bottle and I don't? You know? yeah Yeah. So that's hard. And I feel like I'm actually at that point with Margo. I feel like her and Graydon will drop the bottle easily. Like she could be done now. We only give her one now in the morning just because she's like starving when she wakes up. But actually this morning I like handed her a yogurt pouch, which If y'all know, they're the most expensive fricking Stonyfield yogurt pouches. Y'all sponsor me. I swear to God, I buy. I know. Eight boxes a week. $6.99 a piece, I think. ah Yeah. that My kids go through them like crazy. um Could you get them from they sell them at Costco? but They're yucky flavor like spinach and pineapple. It's not great. And doesn't. OK, but have you ever tasted those because they taste the same?
00:38:14
Speaker
No, what no, I'm not tasting that. You're not a yogurt girl, are you? no I eat yogurt all the time. So I've tasted them all and they all even though they're different flavors, they all kind of taste the same, to be honest. But I get I get little ones. Yeah. But yeah, so this morning, like I just handed it to her, not even thinking. and I was like, oh, I didn't even.
00:38:35
Speaker
give her the bottle, which the only reason I still am is because I have formula left. And I'm like, I guess I'll just use up the rest of what I had. I had like a whole box of eight left over. I must've just gotten ahead on my orders. And I was like, well, she's 12 months now. This will last like a month and a half. So I'm just gonna ride that out and then be done. I mean, she doesn't even drink much of it. She's so into food. I'm like,
00:39:03
Speaker
I'm not, I'm not worried about bottle. Yeah. I think I'll be more or I don't know. I don't want to say more strict, but like, I think I'll, I'll feel better about giving up the bottle with Evie. Evie is already, I can tell a better eater. Like we're giving her everything and she's eating everything. She also was just a bigger baby. So like, I don't feel like the milk was definitely a crutch for me to get calories into Alice and also just if anyone out there is dealing with that and feeling the same way, when we gave up that bottle, I just would have a full breakfast waiting for her almost every time. Like I would prep pancakes and eggs and guess what? She ate so much more because I didn't give her that morning bottle. And so it really was a crutch. Like she started eating more because I wasn't giving her calories right right when she woke up, you know? So.
00:40:01
Speaker
That's exactly what we did. And it's just a learning curve. um I'm doing so many things differently with her than I did with him. Like, oh, yeah. But um things that are OK for you. Potty training. Oh, I have an update. OK.
00:40:20
Speaker
It's going so well, actually. She is on the brink of getting of like almost being fully apart. I can't believe I haven't told you this. because How old is she? She's two and a half. Okay, that's exactly when Graydon learned too. which It's so crazy. I don't think there's a timeline, by the way, on this at all. like My daycare kind of forced my hand and they were like, he's ready. And I was like, oh, okay.
00:40:47
Speaker
like news to me, like I was going to push this until he was like eight, but sure. So once again, like no timeline in mind. It just happened to be two and a half for us. So.
00:40:58
Speaker
Yeah. It's crazy. We had been trying to work on it for months now, but like I, so I think I've said this in a previous episode, like so loosely, like we have been loosey goosey about it and just being like, do you want to sit on the potty blah, blah, blah. And I don't know something in the past week, even like two weeks have just clicked and she peed on the potty what three or four times yesterday. She pooped in the potty. that's She gets, we,
00:41:25
Speaker
We do have an M&M jar in the bathroom. It's I know that's not like the most sanitary thing, but um I have a sealed jar in the bathroom, and so every time she poops her pee, she gets like two or three M&Ms. Um, and dude, the the girl, she'll tell me, uh, something that is so funny though is she has this pretend like cell phone. It's like, it's actually a little wooden cell phone. And the other day she was sitting on the potty of trying to go poop and she had her cell phone and she was sitting there like, you know, her legs up looking at her pretend phone. And she said, look, I'm just like daddy.
00:42:09
Speaker
ah
00:42:12
Speaker
Calling you out, boy. Because literally all he does is sit on the toilet with his phone. So your child notices and but so do I. That's what she's going to be for Halloween is Vinny on the toilet. You're just going to roll it around in a red light.
00:42:26
Speaker
He's her dad for howling. Oh my God. That is so funny. But yeah, so it's going really well. And I wish I could say I did something different or other than the adding the M&Ms, you know, I think it was the very first time that she peed. Okay. Because she did poop in the pot. It's funny. I don't know if this is backwards or not, but this is just how it worked for her. She pooped in the potty before she peed in the potty. She like.
00:42:51
Speaker
I don't know, something about the poop was easier for her to grasp. We started to wear underwear like while she was here and she had five, six, seven accidents like in her underwear. she couldn yeah and the The peeing was the hardest part. And then, I don't know, something clicked. like The first time she was able to pee and we really celebrated her, she got to open up a new toy. we got I gave her M&Ms like the whole thing and then after that it's just kind of clicked and she'll tell me and we've peed. So starting, ah I don't know about next week, maybe the following week we might send her to school in underwear and see how it goes. so Yeah, I mean I'd say if anything like
00:43:34
Speaker
There are so many ways to approach this. Like I've heard parents say they were super strict on their first kid and really were like pushing it. I've heard like, wow, so more lax on the second one and didn't put pressure on myself as a parent. And it made the transition so much easier because I gave them the time to learn. And I feel like that's how Chris and I was like, once again, thank you daycare, like taking the pressure off us as parents a little bit because they took it on. They're like, just bring lots of underwear.
00:44:02
Speaker
lots of shorts, it's going to be new for him. And he would have two or three a day for like two weeks and then boom, it clicked. But I would just say do your little research if you want to do the book, do the book. um I think for Candice and I, it's just been We're like riding it ride and it's worked. Totally. Yeah. We've been lax about it and we've, I would say we're definitely like when it comes to potty training, we've done like a child blood approach. We're kind of letting her lead like when she's ready or when she wants to go. And she did like, she just decided that she was going to sit and pee and sit and poop. And it's kind of working that way. So.
00:44:45
Speaker
I feel like I could like talk about that forever, but since. we Yeah. And again, this goes back to what I said earlier, like there's not really a right way to do it. Everyone has a different approach. I've heard amazing things about the oh crap book, the crap method book. Um, I know. Some people do it over a long weekend where they're just like, yeah, they'd run naked all weekend and they learn in three days. Like, um, it just really is whatever works for you guys. And if you have that time for that weekend that you're going to just let them run, do it.
00:45:14
Speaker
Like, yeah yeah, it all works out. And actually Margo is like in that phase where she's going to hide behind furniture to poop already. And I'm like, wow, that's already happening. You know, girls catch on to things quicker, too, they say so. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. Maybe she'll maybe she'll be like a savant and she'll be potty trained at 18 months.
00:45:42
Speaker
I'm not even gonna push it, but. Yeah, yeah, it's like, we're not. No. So one thing that we both have not done, but is, I'm sure to be on the horizon is. I know what you're gonna say. Bed. Yeah. Moving to big boy, big girl bed.
00:46:00
Speaker
And I am, once again, terrified. Yeah, yeah. ah This, I was going to ask you what transition are you most nervous for? And I guess we don't have a ton of them left. I mean, there's always going to be transitions to school and like whatever, but I'm so scared to pull her out of her crib.
00:46:21
Speaker
I mean, I'm literally riding the crib until he's like climbing out and like I'm scared for his safety, which he has only fallen out once. He did it a really long time ago and never attempted since. So I'm just not going to push it until I absolutely have to. So I know we're on the brink. ah oh no Alice has. Yeah, Alice has fallen out once. And that was a while ago. That was like last.
00:46:50
Speaker
November, December, she fell and it was like a traumatic experience for me. Graydon fell flat on his back and it was like, yeah, yeah. like It probably knocked the wind out of him. No, I have it on Nanit camera. I think I like screen recorded it because I was downstairs and I heard this thud and I ah swear to God took two steps on my like staircase. I was like,
00:47:16
Speaker
floating up the stairs and you can hear me on the Nana going, great, great. And I'm like, oh, my God, could I be any more dramatic? But oh, my God, now so because he's why. Yeah. Wow. So amazing. Wow. That is so funny. um Alice has fallen out once and then she didn't do anything for a really long time. And then probably at the beginning of the summer, she climbed out herself.
00:47:44
Speaker
And just came to my door, flew it open and said, mommy, I climbed out. And I was like, oh no, here we go. And she did, I think the only saving grace here is that she hit her mouth on the way down. It was funny. She didn't even cry, but when she came to me, she was proud of herself, but she was like, I hit my mouth. I have a boomo boo boo.
00:48:05
Speaker
And so I told her, I said, yeah, you can't climb out. It's dangerous. You're going to hurt yourself. She has not tried it since. However, there have been a couple mornings where I've gone in there. If I've let her sit for a while, which I do. I'm sorry. I let that girl marinate in that crib as long. She just plays quietly in the morning. yeah But if I've let her lay a little too long, I'll go in there and she'll say, mommy, I almost climbed out. oh Like she'll tell me that she's thought about it. And I was like, okay, noted.
00:48:36
Speaker
no yeah She also has started to in the mornings, which is kind of become our little tradition, which is cute and I don't want to stop it. So it's fine. But she will, when we go in to wake Evie up, she'll climb into Evie's crib and they jump. She jumps in Evie's crib and Evie laughs so hard. It's so cute. And,
00:48:57
Speaker
um It's likes just the best way to start the morning, honestly, but she's getting more confident climbing in and out of the crib from climbing in and out of E.B.'s. Okay. Well, so it's like I'm training her to do that, which is not good. But anyways, it's on the horizon.
00:49:16
Speaker
I i really really like whenever we took the passi, he was like doing this thing where he was like, he goes, I want out, I want out. And it was like he wanted to climb clawing his way out of the crib almost. And I was like, this is just a glimpse. Like, I feel like we're going to do this passi transition and he's going to start.
00:49:34
Speaker
Wanting to get out of the crib and I know ball. Yeah. And I feel like we're just going to go for like a bigger bed um and do. I don't even know what that little. They're like pool noodles, pool noodles. What are the hell is that thing? that Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's like bumpers or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. So we're going to do that. um And then what do you do? Do you have Friday night and put a lock on the outside of your kid and traumatize them like so? OK, this is another one of those like taboo topics. I feel like we don't even have enough time to like fully get into this. And this will be a conversation maybe for when we really do transition them. But I know there's a lot of ways that people do this. And it's controversial. Like some people do lock their kids doors from the outside and
00:50:25
Speaker
That's the same thing. Like I'm yeah like, what if he does get out and go downstairs, opens the door? Like that scares me. Like I don't know where I lie. I don't even, I feel like I can't even speak to that yet. Cause like, I haven't let myself like think too hard about it, but yeah, we're gonna have to circle back. Yeah. There's a fire. There's a walk on the door. I'm like, I don't, I'm going to have to do a little, maybe we can do a poll. What do you people do?
00:50:51
Speaker
Yeah, honestly, we're gonna need to do that, because I'm gonna need dancers, because I'm petrified of that whole situation, and her getting out, and I'm scared. Well, I think back to my childhood, and I was very much a scaredy cat, and I loved going to my parents' room, so I'm like, I just know that once he's in a bed, it's the end of it all. Goodbye, sleep. Like, it's been a nice time.
00:51:21
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. And I know that everyone, this is another like taboo. We should do a whole taboo topics episode. Okay. Where we like talk about the topics, but one of them is like, obviously co-sleeping. Yeah. Co-sleeping newborns and stuff is actually like very scary, but I know some people do it. I don't know to each their own, but as far as.
00:51:44
Speaker
My kids sleeping in bed with Vinnie and I for me personally that will be a hard no It's fine on we do it on vacation sometimes um If they can't if they won't fall asleep in the pack and play but in this house We I will not let our kids sleep with us in the bed for a long period of time. That's just my personal thing that like I don't know i'm willing if I'm willing to budge on that. I was so persistent when I was little. like i would make a like I would just put a blanket on the floor and sleep there. like I was so scared growing up. Really? Yeah, and I didn't care. I was like, I'll do anything to stay in here.
00:52:31
Speaker
So I'm scared to be sad. I know. I don't know why. It's not like I'm traumatized by anything. I was going to say, I don't feel like you're like normally a scaredy hat person. I don't know. And so I am just like, oh, my God, if I know how it feels and I'm like, hmm, I just hope to figure that out. It's hard, I think. And maybe I'll feel differently if that does end up happening.
00:52:58
Speaker
um But my God, it it's tough. I just feel, I i really do cherish Vinny and I's time together in bed. It's really all we have. Like, yeah I don't know. And I'm not saying anything freaky-dicky is happening in there. I'm just like literally us laying in bed and us being able to sleep. We also sleep with two dogs. Like our dogs sleep in the bed with us. Like we literally do not have any space for a toddler or two.
00:53:30
Speaker
so I don't know. We'll circle back on that one whenever we do make that transition, but so much to look forward to. Yeah.
00:53:43
Speaker
love that for us. I do like the idea of what you said doing a bigger bed like are you gonna do like a full size or something like full full or queen um or you're like like to do queen because I think he would keep like instead of just doing twin and then transitioning when she gets older like just having that because this also might end up being a crutch but then you can lay with them for a little bit and read them a book if you need to. No, I like that idea. And they'll have it forever until they, you know, move out of the house. Get out of here, go to college. Yeah. Or if that's even a good thing anymore.
00:54:25
Speaker
We'll get to that transition in 10 years. No, more than that. Oh, my God. yeah All right, well, uh, if you're going through transitions, just know that it's never as bad as you think it is. Like that's kind of my takeaway from all of these cutting the cord things. It's like, it has not, it hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be. And that. Although it might feel really tough for like a short period of time, like last night for you or in a week it's going to pass and. Yeah.
00:54:59
Speaker
And they're going to I don't feel that way because I'm in it. Yeah. Like you said, in a week, I'll be like, oh, that was easy, but I'm in the unknown right now, which is OK. We're committing. We're doing it. And that's that. It is what it is. Yeah. go all right Well, go us. I will expect an update in the next episode. Yes.
00:55:25
Speaker
All right. Love you so much. Love you. Thank you so much for being a part of our mom group chat. New episodes drop every Tuesday. And don't forget, the group chat is blowing up on our Instagram page. So make sure you're following along over there. All right. Got to go. My toddler just put something in her mouth.