00:00:00
00:00:01
EP 66: Life Catch Up
1.3k Plays6 days ago
In this week’s episode, both Candace and Whitney are back behind the mics to share personal updates. It’s been a whirlwind lately, and the two dive into everything that’s been happening in their lives—starting with Candace’s experience dealing with the aftermath of Hurricane Helene. With over 3.5 feet of water flooding her home, Candace opens up about the chaos, emotions, and what it takes to rebuild when life throws you a curveball.
But it’s not all heavy stuff—Whitney comes in with some big and exciting news that will leave you feeling uplifted! (Spoiler: This is one update you don’t want to miss.) Together, they reflect on navigating life’s ups and downs, the importance of support through hard times, and finding joy in new beginnings.
Donate to Candace’s GoFundMe to help them rebuild from Hurricane Helene and Milton: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-the-donnellys-rebuild-after-hurricane-helene
Join the official Mom Group Chat Facebook group: Mom Group Chat | Facebook
Keep up with the Moms and join the conversation on our socials:
Instagram: @momgroupchat
TikTok: @momgroupchat
Questions/comments/need to vent? Email us at [email protected]
Recommended
Transcript
00:00:07
Speaker
There's no right way to do it.
00:00:12
Speaker
Oh, we're going to get into it. What up moms? I'm Whitney and I'm here with my best friend Candice and we're the mom group chat podcast. Hello.
00:00:25
Speaker
What a loaded question. Honestly, today I am choosing joy like in our episode we talked about a couple days ago. um And this recording, like even just sitting down to record with you is like truly bringing me so much joy. So I'm happy. I'm so happy to be here.
00:00:48
Speaker
I know I'm, I feel like I've been trying to give your space and trying to figure out your fricking life. Cause last time we talked, cause last time we talked, um, the hurricane was a coming in and BAM.
00:01:08
Speaker
Yeah, so this episode is just going to be a therapy ah session. No, um it's just going to be kind of a little like life update. I was going to kind of talk about like everything that's happened and just a full update because truly my whole life has changed in the past three weeks. Like I it's just my whole life has been turned upside down.
00:01:34
Speaker
So it's, you know, but yeah, the last time we recorded, I was just on here goofing about a hurricane coming. in We got knowing that it but guess I really honestly, the universe is like bet I will ruin your life if you want. You want romantic.
00:01:54
Speaker
I give you destruction. ah Yeah. it Oh my God. Oh my God. Which it's not funny. It's really not funny, but I also needed to like make a public service announcement here that like.
00:02:08
Speaker
When I edited that episode of the podcast talk with us goofing about the hurricane, like I was like, I sound so insensitive. like and I don't know if I was just aware of that after the fact because I was like, now it flooded my whole house and like I'm you know going through it. but like This is nothing to mess around with anymore. I will never mess around with another hurricane for the rest of my life. So back it up a little bit. Hurricane Helene hit on technically the 26th. So ah September 26th. And it was 100 miles off of the coast of Tampa. So not a storm that I was particularly
00:02:57
Speaker
um like scared by, really. ah It was so far from us. It was going to hit more in like the Big Bend, like Panhandle area. So we did evacuate to my moms just because so genuinely the only reason we evacuated is because typically my mom never loses power, whereas like we lose power quite easily. And I think I said that in that episode. It's like that's why we were going there.
00:03:22
Speaker
We have never flooded in any sort of storm. We've been in that house for for over four years, lived through many hurricanes. like I never, ever, ever dreamed that we would flood, not to mention flood in a storm that was so far from us.
00:03:39
Speaker
um But the the universe had other plans for us and the it it also was just kind of like crazy timing Helene hit during high tide. So the high yeah, that's the reason it was just like a perfect storm of events.
00:04:01
Speaker
The way hurricanes like turn and work, if you were on the south side of the storm, obviously, and the hurricane is turning, the water is being pushed onto shore, and which is what storm surge is. And the storm just happened to land right around 11 PM to 3 AM, which is high tide. So the tide is already high. The the storm surge is being pushed onto shore.
00:04:29
Speaker
and we got over three and a half feet of water throughout our entire house. And I don't know if i I really can't remember what I had said in that episode now that I think about it. I can't remember what I explicitly said that I was like preparing, but I truly didn't prepare much. Like I never dreamed we would flood. I didn't raise anything off of the ground I did not do any of the normal preparedness things that I would do other than like we got water and gas and like that sort of thing. But we did not I didn't like raise anything off the ground. I didn't collect our most prized possessions or our important documents, which are all in a bag like ready to go.
00:05:19
Speaker
I didn't even take it because I just never dreamed that something like this would happen. So it pretty much destroyed our whole house.
00:05:30
Speaker
um we lost pretty much everything. I mean, if you think about almost four feet of water, it, it is pretty destructive. Like pretty much the only stuff we were ah able to save is stuff that was like hanging in closets, like way above the water. Um,
00:05:51
Speaker
all of Alice's toys, yeah ah all of our furniture, so much of our personal items and like all of our cabinets, rugs. I mean, think about it. If you look around your house in like three And flood water, for those of you that don't know, it's sea water, which is pretty like destructive to have in your house. But it's filled with sewage and all the chemicals from like it touching cars. And ah it's like really toxic water. Anything that it touches pretty much like has to be tossed. It cannot be saved. Yeah. um
00:06:32
Speaker
so It was just the craziest 24 hours of my life that first 24 hours because i we went to bed thinking like, okay, no big deal, the storm is gonna pass, like whatever. I just happened to wake up at 1 a.m. to the power going out at my mom's and I opened up my phone and it was like our neighborhood Facebook group like blowing up about people flooding and I was like, what the fuck is happening? like I've never seen this in any hurricane like and I started to see like I'm on this street and we like we have a foot of water in our house I'm on this street and we're waters coming in the door and I'm just like.
00:07:13
Speaker
Oh, God. People stayed. Yeah. Right. People stayed because no one dreamed that this would happen. So I'm just sitting there doomscrolling at 1 AM. Vinny's fast asleep. He finally got up around 5 AM and I rolled over to him and I was like, I think like the storm surge was really bad, babe. like i I think our house may have flooded and he was like, no way. He's like, but I'll go check it out. Like blah, blah, blah. And oh my God, it was so much worse than we ever imagined. I never dreamed that high of water. I thought it may be a couple inches. If that we, we were one of the worst streets in the whole city that oh
00:07:57
Speaker
Yeah like we had some of the highest water. On our street I don't and I we still don't really know what happened there there was talk like rumors on our street of the drainage not working on our street.
00:08:11
Speaker
um And there's really nothing we can do about it. I mean, there's no way to like prove anything or like, so we're not going to sue the city. I don't, that's not on the list of things to do. That's not on it, but I, so it was just craziness. And we ended up like getting back to our house, finding everything, having to pull everything out, floors, walls, everything. It was just.
00:08:41
Speaker
really heartbreaking and gut-wrenching to just like watch all of your stuff be like thrown to the curb. And it really is a game of like time with flooding and saving things in your... I mean, there's nothing to save in the house, but like saving your house. like The sooner you get everything out, the the like easier it is to navigate and to like mitigate.
00:09:04
Speaker
yeah Um, so there's like no pausing. It's like, and I was frozen when we first got to our house. Like I just stood there and like Vinny had already had work crews like from work at our house, helping us peel things out. And I was just like, I stood there frozen. And finally his boss Brett looked at me. He was like, you just got to move. You just got to pick something up. Like the longer you sit there, the harder it's going to hit you. And you just got to keep it going.
00:09:30
Speaker
So yeah, and then really scary. Yeah, like we lost one. It's like you're like you said, frozen and someone's having to be like, hey, come back.
00:09:43
Speaker
Mm hmm. Yeah. And then. I mean, we lost so many like personal items like I lost my wedding dress like I completely flooded with floodwater like unsalvageable. It was literally brown um like Alice's hospital hats and hospital like bracelets and um Yeah, it was it's been really emotional. And then literally a week and a week into it, we started to hear rumblings of like another storm. And, you know, a week and a half later, we had a whole nother hurricane, Milton, which was pretty much a direct hit to Tampa, Sarasota area.
00:10:33
Speaker
yeah Luckily, I mean that storm, it was bad. It is bad. It was bad. It still is bad. Most of our town is still without power. This is why I'm recording at my mom's right now because A, I don't have a house. B, my mom doesn't have power. So Oh, you're in your brother's house. Yeah. Sorry. Oh, what is that? What I said? You said your mother's.
00:10:55
Speaker
Oh, sorry. That is why I'm at my brother's apartment right now because my mom doesn't have power. So it's just craziness. um We flooded again with Milton. And it's funny because the storm surge was way less with Milton. But with that storm, we got this five times the amount of rain we would get in an entire month of October in 12 hours.
00:11:23
Speaker
five times an entire month's worth of rain in 12 hours. So all of the flooding from Milton was rainwater. It didn't hit during high tide, so there wasn't as much storm surge. yeah ah So it's just like a different beast and the wind was crazy. I mean, we got like 150 mile per hour winds. um We had wind damage this time to our property. So our house is pretty much... It's uninhabitable, first of all. And second of all, we're just at this point, not even sure if it is salvageable at all. um We have to have a structural engineer come out to like really take a look at the property and see if it's even saveable. So
00:12:04
Speaker
that is just
00:12:07
Speaker
I just cannot believe it happened like every time we talk it's just like heartbreaking because yeah another thing after another and like I mean y'all don't know but Candace has been like working her ass off calling insurance calling um home insurance, like you're doing all this background work, Vinny's working his butt off, like trying to clear the house and get it ready for all that. So it's like y'all are both like living this crazy life right now. And yeah, yeah. And then lose all your things on top of that. Like, yeah.
00:12:42
Speaker
I'm not going to lie, I am unwell mentally. um This has been the hardest time of my life. ah it's I hate saying that because eight I know that it could be worse and there are so many like circumstances where it could be worse. And I'm so, i we really are blessed that everyone is safe and you know everyone is well and all of those things, but it also is just so overwhelming to lose your place of like your whole house of living and pretty much everything in it. And then to be in this limbo period where
00:13:28
Speaker
We don't really have like a home or a place to call home. We're at my mom's for now, but it is definitely not a long-term. It's just not feasible long-term. It's really hard to be there, to have that many people in a small space. It's been really hard on Alice. That's the part that like is going to make me cry. just It's just been so much change in such a short amount of time.
00:13:57
Speaker
yeah And I know I haven't been showing up as my best self as a mom because I'm dealing with so much stuff. Like it is a full-time job to manage the insurance and all of the claims. They need so much paperwork and documentation, not to mention like, and if you want anything moving along, like you have to like fucking berate these people and like not berate that's, but like you have to stay on top of these people to like keep things moving.
00:14:28
Speaker
And then you had to act fast or you'd get lost and yeah, there were so many people who were making claims that like if you didn't act fast like you get left behind and then your claim isn't is processed last and it's like Just ah you have no point Or you have no choice but to prioritize like this whole situation and like prioritize focusing on the insurance. like i haven't This is the other part of it that's been so hard. like I haven't worked. you know I work for myself. I own my own business. If I am not working, I am not making money. And this is now my third week of not being able to work.
00:15:09
Speaker
I mean, hopefully this week I'm able to find some sort of sense of normalcy, but with two back-to-back storms and two floods, it has been it has taken my all of my energy to just manage all of that. And then on top of that, to have to mom yeah and parents and show up as a present mom and manage my own emotions around my kids. like yeah It's so it's so difficult it is so So I get like and I don't I hate being that person that's like whoa is me But like for real it's fucking hard. No, this is a whoa is me moment like please um and There's like really
00:15:55
Speaker
No advice to get like, you know, everyone wants to like, yeah, fix you. Like, how can I help? How can I help? But it's really like nothing can help right now. Like other than like trying to, like you said, get in some sort of like normal pattern again, which when will that even be? Yeah, god it's going to feel weird for a while.
00:16:17
Speaker
Yeah. Honestly, like I am just hoping at this point that by the beginning of 2025, in January, I'm hoping that there is at least a plan. that's how like law That's also how long insurance takes. like It's pretty much like I don't know. it's It's pretty much like we probably won't know anything from the insurance and have an understanding of like the process of that and what we're getting from insurance and what the next steps are. We probably won't know that until
00:16:53
Speaker
beginning of December, and it's the holidays, like things slow down. So our hope is that by the beginning of the year, we have a plan and can have and like a little bit of a view into the future. And I know I've said this to you, like this is the first time in my life where I truly have no idea what the next year of my life looks like. I couldn't tell you. like I have no idea. I have no idea where we're living.
00:17:18
Speaker
I have no idea like I it's the first time ever that I'm just like, I don't know. I don't know what is happening. So these are just like random questions. but Yeah, yeah do you have to pay for mortgage if you don't live there. Like what's going on with that? So technically, yes, like it's not like forgiven necessarily. They will give you they are required by law to give you a 12 month like break if you would like. wow So we did. we ah We did do that. We asked. That's a long time. Yes. so um i mean Because we're going to have to find another place to live and pay for it. And we cannot afford to pay our mortgage and pay for a rental, a three bedroom rental. like It's just impossible. um
00:18:12
Speaker
So they do give you 12 months um of like disaster relief. I mean, that's also stressful. Like, okay, let me hurry up and rebuild my house in a year. Right. Right. But you're also wasting, not wasting time, but like having to wait till January to figure that out. like Yeah. And, you know, it's not like those 12 months are just like, we don't have to pay them. They're just tacked on to the end, you know? So, yeah um but yeah. Okay. so So how about everyone else on your street? Like, are they in the same situation or when the second storm came? I mean, everyone's stuff, if everyone saw Candace's video, we're on the front lawn. Like,
00:18:59
Speaker
Did that all get like blown around? Did it all pretty much stay? like What is that looking like? Yeah, our street looks so crazy right now. Still, I was there this morning. Yes, all of that stuff was blown around. like Our couch that was out by the street on our front lawn like was over in the like in our neighbors.
00:19:19
Speaker
ah like lot to the corner like it literally and that couch is so heavy not to mention it was rain soaked and water soaked so think about how heavy a like water filled couch is completely in our neighbors like lot um It's just craziness.
00:19:40
Speaker
um And I'll send, I don't know that I sent you pictures of this whip, but I can post them whenever we talk about this episode, but all of that stuff in our, on my street, you know, obviously it was picked up by wind, but it was also picked up by the floodwater from the second flood and clogged all the drains, just like we knew it would.
00:20:00
Speaker
Like the city literally didn't have enough time in between storms to pick up everyone's stuff. So yeah, it's just, it was a, it's a very, like our neighborhood, if Whitney knows, like it's a cute, like nice neighborhood and it looks like scary, like a scary place to live right now.
00:20:25
Speaker
for sure. mean It's just like a beautiful like cobblestone or brick street. Like, yeah. Oh my God, it's gorgeous. And your street has a pump house. So it does. Yeah. So that's, it's, it's, that's the thing that's kind of odd is so we have this house on our street that looks like a real house, but it's not a house. It's a water pump house. And the purpose of that house is to pump water off of our off of the streets in our whole neighborhood, but specifically our street as well and pump it out into the Gulf like that's where it goes.
00:21:04
Speaker
um And that's why there's rumors of it like malfunctioning like it didn't work that day. I mean, obviously with storm surge, it is coming in from the Gulf and the water pump house is pumping out into the Gulf. So that's I don't really understand how that works, but It's worked in the past, even with storm surge. So I'm just like, we're just all confused about why. Yeah. Why it faulted or. I felt like, um, I was surprised at how quick the water was back out because yeah I mean, you said it flooded and then all of a sudden like Vinnie was able to get in there the next morning and I was like, Oh, the water's already gone.
00:21:45
Speaker
So I thought, yeah, the house did its purpose, but I mean, hell like it's still happening at that point. Yeah, everything is ruined anyway. But yeah, it was just crazy. It's like.
00:22:00
Speaker
I just never dreamed that that would happen. And just ah for everyone who, like my street is definitely half, half older homes like ours, which is like one story older homes. And then half of the street is built up newer homes that are clearly built up because we live close to the water. Like as in the, just the bottom floor is the garages and the real house starts what? 10, 12 feet up in the air probably.
00:22:27
Speaker
And those houses were fine. Yes, their garages kind of flooded, but like their house was fine. And ultimately the damage they sustained is way less than, you know, what we, uh, you know, got. So like in an ideal world, do you want to stay there and build up or are you like over it?
00:22:53
Speaker
Yeah, I keep telling everyone, like all of the cards are on the table, like in the sense of like, I'm, I, we have seriously considered and talked about moving away from Tampa. I mean, that's traumatizing. Yeah. Yeah. We are low key traumatized and like I, especially the past three weeks, like I have just nonstop been dreaming about living in another place. Like take me to Missouri. Honestly, I don't care where take me to the middle of the United States.
00:23:23
Speaker
i don't when I don't want to hear the word storm surge for the rest of my life. um We also obviously have talked about rebuilding in on our current lot. So we would tear down the house completely and we would build up like the other houses on our street, like the newer homes. But obviously like that's a very expensive, like, you know,
00:23:48
Speaker
total like you always said you dreamed of doing like that was like a right year plan. Yeah. and I mean, if it were me, it's not me. It's y'all's decision. But I yeah think that's the only way I would stay. Oh, yeah. yeah I will say, it's funny, like before this Milton storm, like before the second storm, I felt like the card of like just fixing our current house may have still been on the table. I think now we are very clear that we have no desire to stay in our exact current house.
00:24:22
Speaker
We just never want to go through this ever again. It was traumatizing and so hard. It's still hard. Vinny and I have never fought more in our entire life. It's been the most trying time of our relationship. yeah Like it's been trying for my mom and I because we're living with her now. And she also watches our kids, but now we live with her. So it's like, when is she off? Never. Like my poor mother.
00:24:51
Speaker
so No one's getting a break. Everyone's dressed. Everyone's tired. like yeah It's a lot. And I'm just so sorry. yeah And then I said this to you in a text last night. like I feel like I'm the friend that has like a dark cloud over them recently. like I feel like I can't escape
00:25:14
Speaker
Like bad things happening to me or something. I'm like, did someone put a hex on me? I just don't understand. Like it feels, and it feels like I, I can tell like people are like scared to talk to me or scared to like share things that are happening in their life with me and.
00:25:33
Speaker
i don't I hate that feeling. I don't want anyone to feel like they can't be happy around me, because like just because I'm having a hard time. like I hate being in that place. like Yes, we are having a hard time, but like it doesn't mean I want everyone to think only about me and my hard time all the time. like Please, share your good news with me. like it's good like It makes me feel hopeful that one day I'll have some good news to share.
00:26:01
Speaker
PSA, everyone tell something good. Please tell me something positive. I know. I know this was like, oh, my God, I hope like I don't mean to. I was like, I just don't want to seem insensitive to your situation or. Yeah. No. And I know everything so seems trivial to be honest now. Like, yeah. When I'm thinking of like telling you something, like even if something stupid or bad happens, like I'm having a bad day with the kids or something bad happened I'm like well this doesn't compare to like what happened to her like I'm not gonna bring her down more with my stupid shit so yeah I know but as someone who like has also lived through the stupid shit like the stupid shit still is hard like it's all hard and I
00:26:46
Speaker
i do I feel like it's taken me a couple days or weeks to feel this way, but I do feel like everything's going to be okay. There was a time there where I was like, my life is over. Our life is over. We'll never recover from this. like I don't know what we're going to do. Now I'm like, you know what?
00:27:08
Speaker
I hate saying this because like, like why the hell would this happen? But like everything happens for a reason. I'm hoping that whatever comes out of this is like for the positive, hopefully on the whole. And I don't know. Like, like I said, our dream was always to build on that lot. But we had no intentions of doing that any time soon. And when I had dreamed about doing it, it was like our dream home. Like we were going to have the budget to like do everything we want to do and like choose anything I wanted to choose and like if we do build on this lot like that's gonna be a different situation for us like it's not gonna be a luxury like choose anything I want situation it's gonna be a
00:27:56
Speaker
Okay, we need a home. And yes, I hope I can still, if we go that route, I'm hoping we can still make it a dream home of sorts. But it's definitely going to be a little bit more on the budget side because we just don't have the budget for like some like crazy million dollar home. Like that's not, that's not in the cards for us. so No, i yeah I feel you on that. like You daydream about that happening and then yeah like it's like, not that you're having to settle, but man, like that's not what I wanted you know and that's tough. Yeah. so yeah
00:28:33
Speaker
no that word Okay. Now I'm going to, I'm going to switch to some positive. Okay. Okay. I have to highlight how much everyone has been so incredible and supportive and kind. And I, I know I've already messaged you about this way, but it has made me so emotional how
00:28:59
Speaker
sweet everyone has been and how concerned and how so many people asking to help and then also locally the way that moms have come together like no one can get shit done more than moms like I'm a part of a Facebook group here in South Tampa called the south ah Moms of South Tampa, or most as they call themselves. But the way the most moms within hours had like crazy like giveaway um categories on their on their Facebook group. They like categorized by like household items, furniture, baby items, blah, blah. And it was like only you were only allowed to post something on there if it if you were willing to give it away for free.
00:29:44
Speaker
And it was just like the most organized crazy way. Like that after we flooded, we didn't have anything. Like we lost our strollers. We lost and a lot of that stuff I still don't have, but we lost our strollers. Our high tears are literally all the baby items you need like on a normal basis are we lost.
00:30:04
Speaker
and all of them. so Within that first 24 hours, I was like, okay, what do we absolutely need for the girls like immediately? and I was able to pretty much get so much stuff from like people willing to give us things that just wanted to help, which was so incredible. The way I have seen people come together here in Tampa and really all across the country. like The way the mom group chat community has come together to like support me and help us, like I cannot tell you how much that means to us. and
00:30:42
Speaker
you know everyone who has donated to the GoFundMe, 100% the biggest stress right now is the financial stress of everything. like For those of you that don't know about the process of insurance, like you don't see that money for months, like for months. so i It's so stressful for to us to have to replace things, not to mention, I don't know if I mentioned this at the beginning, we did not have personal property coverage for flood insurance and homeowners insurance will not cover anything that is flood.
00:31:11
Speaker
So all of our items, all of our furniture, baby items, clothing, personal, all of those personal items are not covered by insurance. So that is a complete loss to us. So that GoFundMe is going to help our family so much. Like I cannot even tell you.
00:31:32
Speaker
how much it means to me and I'm so grateful for everyone who has helped and is continuing to help and reach out and even just like send me a message like I'm thinking of you or I like it's incredible like incredible. Everyone has been amazing per usual like I so i mean I yeah told Candace I was like I don't know why these things keep happening to you I'm like out of everyone in the world like why does this keep freaking happening like bad things keep happening but um everyone's been so incredibly nice and everyone's reached out to me as well on your behalf wanting to check on you without being in your face and um i don't know everyone really cares about you and and what's happening so
00:32:22
Speaker
I'm just glad that everyone's been able to help a little, even if yeah you know, no, and there's definitely a lot of people keep offering, um, like toys or, uh, clothes for the girls. And we will need all of that. And there's a lot of people who will here in Tampa who will need that.
00:32:42
Speaker
The problem is right now, being displaced, like we don't have anywhere to put all of that stuff. I feel like there will be another round of need. and This is what a lot of the moms that have also flooded that I've talked to have said, I will need those items. i just It might be in December or like when we finally get a rental. like Right now, I don't have anywhere to put all of that stuff being in my mom's place. We have such limited space.
00:33:11
Speaker
So yeah, I just appreciate everyone reaching out. Like it's made me so emotional. I've like cried about it so many times. It's been so nice.
00:33:24
Speaker
I love our community. And honestly, moms for president for real because the way that they are able to so quickly get shit done and organized, like it should be studied, truly. like we don't need like we don't We definitely don't need a male president. okay we need when We actually just need a mom's committee. like just Let's just forgo the idea of president and just have like a committee of moms, honestly.
00:33:52
Speaker
Yeah, just get 12, uh, 12 hours of childcare. Let's see how much shit you can get for real. Oh my God. Also today has been my first day of like without the girls in weeks. Honestly, the amount of shit I've gotten done today is insane. Like sure. You're probably like.
00:34:10
Speaker
I need to get organized and get get going. For real. I locked myself in a little like common office at my in-laws like condo place. And I was like, like, yeah. I saw you firing off some emails this morning. I did. Thank you for the update, even though it wasn't. I know a good one, but I know everyone's been wondering.
00:34:38
Speaker
I really want, do not want to be a dark cloud from here on out. That's like my goal for the next couple of weeks is like, we're still going to be going through it. Like nothing is going to immediately change, but I have to start like looking at the bright side of things and like trying to find and everyday joy, like we talked about a couple episodes. But for real, like I have to find something good to look forward to every day or something good to focus on, or I'm going to mentally run myself into the ground. so this ah Honestly, this just recording with you is like such a positive and continuing to like
00:35:18
Speaker
Put energy into mom group chat is such a positive. Like, I know I've been missing talking to you and I know this is my favorite part of every day. me too okay well i'm not the only one giving an update on this episode i want your update also we need to end this on a positive no well i'll tell like a bit but chris and i have been in the talks of looking into schools for for our gray gray um and really around here if you're wanting to
00:35:53
Speaker
apply to Academies you have to start now and get them into the program now if you want to like try and guarantee a spot a spot for kindergarten um and if y'all don't know like I'm on like the Davidson County which is Nashville and the Williamson County which is Brentwood line so we're actually zoned for a Nashville school which is fine, like their elementary school is great, and we were fine with it when we moved in because Graydon wasn't even here yet. But now that we're at age three,
00:36:25
Speaker
We were getting a little nervy. And so I think we have decided instead of putting money into school that we are just going to try and move into the Williamson County line. So we be looking and I know that some people saw and everyone's like, Oh my gosh, what about your neighbors? That's like the first thing everyone asks. And I'm like, well, luckily like we're all so tight. Like you can't get rid of me that fast. Okay.
00:36:54
Speaker
Yeah. We're going to be coming over here and actually when we told them we were thinking of moving, they were like, can you leave your margarita bill machine actually? like Really? That's all they care about. They're like, exactly. But the margarita machine. Yeah. They're like, uh, can you leave that? so That's how you know when you're tight and you're always welcome around here. Like if I'm ever bored on a Friday afternoon, Saturday afternoon, you know where to find me. My ass is going to be driving over here. Oh my gosh. And also, the because you're on the line, wherever you go or wherever you buy probably won't be too far, right? Where we are, our neighborhood actually splits the line. So we could move four four houses down if we wanted to and we'd be
00:37:41
Speaker
Oh wow, that's so crazy. I guess it's not that crazy. I don't know what I'm talking about. Our neighborhood, we're two streets away from the the line, so. Yeah. Yeah. And like I said, we're not in a bad zone. It's just like, if you're living in this area, why why not like be, I mean, it's considered the best county school in in ah Tennessee as a whole. So it's like, you might as well live there and not pay for a fricking Academy.
00:38:08
Speaker
Totally. So yeah, that and just um now that we have four people in the house, I just am feeling like I want a little bit of a bigger space. So it doesn't hurt that I would like a little bit of a bigger home, maybe like a little bonus room for my babies. So totally not looking to like go crazy here. But yeah, I mean, all of this was in the past month.
00:38:37
Speaker
And here I am looking at houses and Candace freaking lost hers. So I've been like, yeah, I'm trying to be sensitive what you're going out through. I know, but I also like, as your best friend, like I want to celebrate you and the, and the amazing things you're doing. And so I don't want you to be, I don't want you to keep any details from me because I love you and I'm so excited for you and Hopefully, when we either move or build a house, like I'll have exciting updates too. When you moved to Nashville to live. Honestly, like I was really pushing Vinnie. I was like, okay, reach out to your work, see if there's a transfer. That's like, that's been the hardest part. That's been the hardest part about like the move situation is like, I like literally I'll pack my bags tomorrow and move because I can work from anywhere. But then he's like, I need my job. And so if we're going to consider moving, like it would be more than just like, okay, we're going to move. Like it would kind of depend on his job. So it's still on the table though. Everyone should know. I'm looking, you know, everyone understands, I'm sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. These circumstances are wild. um But yeah, as Vinnie says. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. that Yeah. Well, that's been happening um in the past month ish. And I've also been like very like scared to even talk about it because it's all so touch and go like
00:40:15
Speaker
Everything has to work out. It's like making a baby. Everything has to fit and everyone totally to sell their home and to sell their home. So it's like I'm not trying to jinx anything. So I'm just going to like lay low a little bit. Yes, we be looking. Yes, we try and be selling, but I'm just going to let it be.
00:40:36
Speaker
Yeah. No, that's how it is with houses too. Like things like fall through or like there's so many like contingencies with things. So you got to like tread lightly. So yeah I'm just trying to be nice and play nice and just, but sending you lots of new home vibes. yeah And I'm hopeful that you guys will find your dream home. Well, at least your dream home for now.
00:41:01
Speaker
Yeah, I think I one thing has happened. Oh, my God. I was going to ask you about that. But does it make you a little bit excited that you get to do something new in a new home and make it like a little bit of a big girl room?
00:41:14
Speaker
You know, I'm excited. But yeah at the same time, it's like, ooh, I just, I put my all into that cute ass room. And I am so glad I have fond memories and pictures and whatnot in there. But maybe I can do something similar in her new room. And especially like Graydon having, like he is up a a big boy now. Like it's time to like revamp.
00:41:40
Speaker
his stuff too, so it's gonna be so fun. I think that you need to take us along on this journey whenever you do find a new place and you do start decorating. I think this is your time to become a content creator and like a home decor content creator and you got to take us along on all the journeys of decorating your future home.
00:42:04
Speaker
Well, and I'll do the same as we build my budget will probably be different, but no, no, no. Since we're looking to move into Williamson County, like if you don't know, it's like one of the most expensive counties in Tennessee. Like I'd be working on a Walmart budget here, like getting wallpaper from Walmart, which is great. We're going to make it work.
00:42:28
Speaker
Yeah. No, I definitely will be balling on a budget probably, but it's going to be, I'm going to try and make it a cute budget. yeah I know I was like, let's, I was like, let's get handy. Like I want to do some, trend like some picture frame molding. And I was like, I think I could fricking do it. Like I could get, I think you could. I do too. I'm like, Chris, back away. I got this. Like I was going to say, I i feel like everything is just a YouTube or a Tik TOK search away, you know?
00:42:57
Speaker
Oh, once I get the hang of it, too, like, watch out. Your whole house is going to be a picture. Every like piece of art is a spot because I'm going to like make it so. Oh, my God, that is so funny.
00:43:12
Speaker
And I can't wait. So funny. Any other updates like about the kiddos? Oh, I I have an update about Evie because she is so crazy. You guys, she is she just turned eight months yesterday and she is crawling like Speedy Gonzalez, pulling up on everything. She already will take her hands off and try and stand at eight months.
00:43:43
Speaker
She's like a little it takes like it's like okay two kids are fun and then they start moving and then you're busy no I'm not kidding like it's been and then to be displaced like not in a house that where I can like control yeah you know, what it's definitely not like kid proofed, you know, especially where we evacuated. We were staying in this super nice house in Jacksonville from a family friends, which by the way, that was so sweet of them. I don't, they don't listen to this, but if they did, I would say thank you so much. That was like literally so nice. These people don't even know us that well. And they let us stay in our, in their home in Jacksonville while we evacuated, which was so sweet. But that house, I was like,
00:44:26
Speaker
Please don't touch anything. I was so nervous that they were going to break something. And the way I forced my mom to take them to Chick-fil-A just so I could clean the house before we left, like their Evie's handprints was, we're all over everything. Not to mention she's very much in her solids era, trying everything, which is the messiest. yep When she eats, it is so messy.
00:44:53
Speaker
I know Margo like she likes some buttery noodles, which is like a. Here I go again. I buy these like kids meals, but they're, I don't know, they're called, they're fresh something, but they're good for you. Oh, kid fresh, kid fresh. She loves the chicken nugget ones with the tiny short noodles that come with it, but they're just butter noodles. She will grab a fist and put her whole fist in her mouth eating them and release it. It is so funny. I'm like, she loves that damn meal. um That's so funny.
00:45:25
Speaker
I can't believe she's already moving. You never know. She might be an early walker. Margo is quicker than freaking Graydon. She walked away for 12 months. I feel like Evie is going to be a quick walker for sure. And I'm scared. Chase and their sister. Chase and their sister. Yeah.
00:45:42
Speaker
And then I've already given kind of an update about how Alice has had a tough time. My mom did text me today, though. And because obviously, like I said, this is my first day kind of away from them in three weeks.
00:45:56
Speaker
ah And she said, Alice has been so good. She has asked for you a couple of times, but I told her you would be back soon. She's totally different from the house in Ponte Vedra, which is when we evacuated. Alice had never been more difficult. She was totally not herself. She was.
00:46:14
Speaker
all out of sorts and then my mom said she's like her old self. Right now she's playing so well in her playroom with her dollhouse and I was like this literally I literally said that makes me so happy and relieved to hear that because she was totally not herself and also remember on the last episode I talked about how potty training was like back on track Completely regressed after everything that's happened, which is totally understandable. We literally haven't had time to like be like, do you have to go potty? Like blah, blah, blah. It's just like life has been so crazy and being not having a home. Like I, we,
00:46:55
Speaker
There's also schools been canceled for like three weeks for everyone who like we haven't had. Alice hasn't been to school in three weeks because of the two back to back storms and the evacuations. And we still don't know tomorrow. Like if school is open, there's still so many things without power. I would doubt. Yeah. Like what are people doing?
00:47:15
Speaker
all the schools are closed and they work. Oh my God. It's like, yeah, it's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. So anyways, I'm just, that's why I'm just like, I just have to look at the positive and find the small wins in every day. Like even like tomorrow, like if I get her to go pee on the potty, like small win, like I,
00:47:36
Speaker
I just have to like relish in all of these little small things that'll be back to normal because we're not going to be back to normal in a year or two. I don't even know. Yeah. so And like update on Passy gate. Oh yeah. Wait, I need a full update because this was happening during this storm. So storms plural. So I don't really know. I want the full update.
00:48:03
Speaker
This, I must implore everyone who has a child taking a passy, I beg of you, I beg of thee to not wait until there are three. This has been the hardest thing we've ever done. Wow.
00:48:19
Speaker
not kidding he has no idea how to put himself to sleep he is just waking up in the night upset screaming out like i feel like we're in newborn land again it's been like this for three and a half weeks the only thing that has sort of helped because he has now replaced Um, like the Passy thing, he doesn't ask about it. He doesn't need it. He's like forgotten about Passy and everyone that I asked on Facebook because I was desperado. I'm like, what the fuck is happening? Um, he's replaced it with being scared now. Like he doesn't have his soothing tool.
00:48:58
Speaker
So he's scared. And everyone says this is totally normal at this age. And I'm like, did I just push it forward because I took his pass away? I don't know. It's been like a perfect storm. He hates his bed now. Hates it. Doesn't love the crib. He's scared of the bed. He wants a big boy. Great. Great. Yeah. It's like he's grown up overnight scared.
00:49:21
Speaker
doing all the things. um Oh, my God. That's so hard. It's been so freaking hard. We got him a Tony box with like a sleepy music thing, which helps some nights. I will like I have to cover his crib and like make a tent to hide him from monsters. Like, oh, it's been this whole thing. And I'll be like, right and why are you crying? He's like, I'm scared. I miss daddy. Like, oh, my gosh.
00:49:48
Speaker
It's been something and now I'm like, Oh my gosh, if we move, um, is this going to like restart in a new house? I'm like, Oh my God. So he doesn't really ask for the passy now. It's just like, he's just like, he doesn't know how to put himself back to sleep. Like, especially if he wakes up in the night, like he will stay up for two hours.
00:50:11
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, my God. He is your child, aren't you like that? Yeah. You will stay up for two hours. um He will not let you leave the room. He screams like shaking, crying. Wow. Poor thing. Yeah, we've had to bring him in the bed. I'm like, I don't know. Oh, no. Yeah. We're not we're not like letting him get in the bed with us like.
00:50:37
Speaker
Yeah, when at first um it's only in the middle of the night where I'm like, I can't do. Yeah, no, I'm I totally I'm with you. But yeah, it's not an option when we're putting them down and he asks, we're like, no, you know, so it's just been. Yeah. Damn, I'm so sorry. with Oh.
00:50:58
Speaker
It's OK. So, OK, is it has it gotten any better at all or no? Like even still last night was never I never know what we're going to get. It's up and down. I haven't I have not slept in three weeks. Oh, my God. yeah And anyone who knows Whitney, that's a that's tough. Yeah, it's very triggering. Yeah. Yeah. And it takes. Has he woken up Margo? No, never.
00:51:26
Speaker
Oh, good. And that's something I've learned and. Mom's on call is to never really worry about the other child because they don't hear them like parents do. um Yeah, you told me that about Evian and Alice. I mean, and he'll scream like when Chris and I are finally like an hour and a half in at three a.m., we'll leave the room and he'll scream, scream, scream, and then he gives up, which is heartbreaking, like, yeah, especially when they tell you they're scared, like, oh, my God.
00:51:59
Speaker
Yeah, because you don't want to like. Yeah, God, I'm so sorry. So can buy a bitch. I don't know. All right. Well, prayers to you. Hopefully that gets better. I don't I wish I had something to offer you, but I haven't we haven't gotten there yet. Although Alice at my mom's like she wants the closet light on and she wants the door or the closet door cracked that she's scared of the dark. I was like, the fuck since when it has to do with like Halloween stuff right now and.
00:52:34
Speaker
I don't know. Oh, my God. Yeah. like Maybe we need to just like. um Yeah, like because sometimes he'll watch like a YouTube video and it's about like Halloween skeletons and he thinks it's all cute and then he's scared. I'm like. And then at night he's like, wait a minute, those things are scary. But yeah, anyway, I'll keep you updated. Right. My my. ah I might be. I don't know. I know. Would you like if you guys are going to move, you'd probably wait to switch them to a toddler bed when you move, I would assume. Yeah, that's what I mean. I don't want to buy one and then have to. Right. that two So. Yeah, exactly. So it's like if you can delay. I got to wait for. Yeah. But I think it might help. I don't know.
00:53:18
Speaker
Yeah, maybe that's just what he needs. Like he'll just be like, OK, I'm a big boy now. I don't need to be scared. I'm a big boy. Except he can. If we leave the room, he can get up and run after us. ah Yeah, we're going to be. yeah like We're going to be. We're going to be team locked the door from the outside, I think. I'm not dealing with him. No, he's going to bang on or not him, but her. Oh.
00:53:44
Speaker
You think? I don't know. I'm going to have to lay in there. and I'm going to end up sleeping in there every night. Bye, Chris. Oh, my God. OK, no, we're not going to claim any of that energy. It's going to be great. He's going to be an amazing sleeper in his big boy bed. It's going to be all good. I see no end in sight at the moment, but thank you.
00:54:05
Speaker
I mean, same, but in different aspects of my life. I'm like, I literally see no end in sight for our situation, but yeah. ah Well, it's been so good to catch up. Yeah, I love you. I promise I won't be a dark cloud forever, everyone. Although if you've put a hex on me, please release it, please. but Well, I love you. All right. I love you too. Bye.