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The 25 Tactics of Male Power, Part 2
49 Plays2 years ago
How the Scrotes Keep winning: Emotional Manipulation Tactics.
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Transcript
Introduction to 25 Tactics of Male Power
00:00:05
Speaker
What's up, queens?
00:00:06
Speaker
Welcome to the Female Dating Strategy Podcast, the meanest female-only podcast on the internet.
00:00:10
Speaker
I'm Ro.
00:00:10
Speaker
And I'm Savannah.
00:00:12
Speaker
And we're continuing our 25 Tactics of Male Power series.
00:00:16
Speaker
Yes.
00:00:17
Speaker
I'm quite enjoying this series, actually.
00:00:19
Speaker
It's nice to be able to put...
00:00:21
Speaker
pen to paper and to verbalise the shitty ways that men try and keep women under the thumb.
00:00:27
Speaker
When doing the research for these sorts of episodes, it's always quite eye-opening when you start to connect the dots and just realise that actually this is all very deliberate by design and you will most likely recognise these patterns in your relationships or past relationships with men.
00:00:45
Speaker
And not even just relationships, but on a societal wide scale.
00:00:49
Speaker
So a lot of these tactics are both used interpersonally, but also on a group level, aka patriarchy.
Emotional Manipulation Tactics
00:00:59
Speaker
So I think last episode, we really focused on the physical aspects of male power.
00:01:05
Speaker
So this one is going to be a little bit more about emotional aspects of male power.
00:01:10
Speaker
So emotional manipulation tactics that men use on women to maintain their power.
00:01:15
Speaker
So what's the first one, Ro?
00:01:16
Speaker
Well, technically, I think it's number six.
00:01:18
Speaker
So number six is negging slash bullying.
00:01:22
Speaker
Oh, my gosh.
00:01:23
Speaker
I think I saw like the peak neg on that Wikipedia.
00:01:27
Speaker
So I recently posted on my Twitter account a comment from Richard Burton, who was married to Elizabeth Taylor.
00:01:35
Speaker
where he was basically saying that calling her the most beautiful woman in the world is nonsense because she's gone overdeveloped chest.
00:01:43
Speaker
She was quite busty.
00:01:44
Speaker
She's like short in the leg and she's got a double chin.
00:01:47
Speaker
Now, if you look at what they both looked like in around 1966, which is around the time Richard Burton made those comments, he literally looks homeless and she's literally like Elizabeth Taylor would look like.
00:01:59
Speaker
And he still managed to neg her, like physically, even though she was like conventionally a 10 out of 10 and he was maybe a three or a four.
00:02:06
Speaker
Maybe.
00:02:07
Speaker
Yeah.
00:02:08
Speaker
Men like to devalue women through negging and bullying.
00:02:11
Speaker
And it's just a tactic to make you always be on the back foot when you're dealing with them.
00:02:16
Speaker
And once again, this is like an individual and a societal wide thing.
00:02:22
Speaker
I feel like it's become like less...
00:02:25
Speaker
popular in mainstream media.
00:02:27
Speaker
But there was a time where a lot of mainstream media was just about men saying horrific things to women all the time.
00:02:33
Speaker
And it was just like them harassing women on the street.
00:02:36
Speaker
It was ugly men with podcasts and mics like the Howard Stern crowd, right?
00:02:42
Speaker
Ugly men with podcasts and mics, Eminem, those types of guys.
00:02:45
Speaker
All they do is sit around and just...
00:02:48
Speaker
bully women for basically no reason other than they're just insecure assholes who know that if they just throw the first stone that people won't turn the lens to them.
00:02:59
Speaker
And there's also different types of negging as
Concern Trolling and Public Figures
00:03:02
Speaker
well.
00:03:02
Speaker
I think like Rose said, there's the outright bullying and the outright just like shitting all over a woman like Richard Burton did.
00:03:08
Speaker
But men can also be quite insidious in how they neg you.
00:03:11
Speaker
And one of the tactics is
00:03:13
Speaker
As Lilith coined so eloquently, a while back, you have the backfooting technique is when basically a man will give you a label that they know isn't true.
00:03:22
Speaker
So let's say, you know, they might say, oh, you're acting a bit like a gold digger in the knowledge that the woman will then bend over backwards to prove that she isn't a gold digger.
00:03:31
Speaker
And that usually comes in the form of her lowering her standards and lowering her expectations so that he doesn't see her as a gold digger.
00:03:38
Speaker
So that's number one.
00:03:39
Speaker
Then there's also the concern trolling.
00:03:42
Speaker
So what I call concern trolling is that when a woman achieves something, a man will try and make out that the achievement is not going to be good for her in some sort of way.
00:03:52
Speaker
So if she gets a promotion at work,
00:03:54
Speaker
It might be in the form of, oh, but like, you know, I'm really, really worried about your mental health because taking this promotion, even though it means more money, it means that you're going to be more stressed out.
00:04:03
Speaker
It's just concern trolling as opposed to coming at it from, okay, well, you've got this promotion at work.
00:04:08
Speaker
How can I support you to make sure that you can do this job well?
00:04:12
Speaker
For example,
00:04:13
Speaker
And the trick is to not only recognise the malevolence, like, negging, but also the benevolence, like, negging as well.
00:04:21
Speaker
That's also important, because especially if a guy is close to you, or if you like him, if he's a friend, or if he's your boyfriend, or whatever, the negging, it can be malevolent, but it also can be benevolent as well.
00:04:31
Speaker
And both are just as shitty, because ultimately, they should be supporting you.
00:04:35
Speaker
And I feel like if...
00:04:37
Speaker
you know, a woman has an achievement or she's doing well in life and your first response is to try and, you know, bring her down 10 pegs.
00:04:44
Speaker
That just demonstrates his insecurity.
00:04:46
Speaker
But that's just something to just be aware of as well, is that Negan doesn't always look like an Eminem diss on the surface.
00:04:53
Speaker
It can be more concern trolling.
00:04:56
Speaker
That's basically what's happening with the Manosphere right now.
00:04:59
Speaker
And guys like Jordan Peterson concern trolling women about how society is aligning to us about how we're going to be happy with our corporate careers.
00:05:06
Speaker
And we all secretly wish to be stay at home moms.
00:05:08
Speaker
And listen, I'm not going to be the person that defends any type of company in the way that they exploit workers.
00:05:14
Speaker
But at the same time, they're not coming at it from a place of genuine concern.
00:05:18
Speaker
It's just that they're very threatened by women having power and achieving things.
00:05:23
Speaker
And so their reaction to that is to...
00:05:25
Speaker
project that every woman that has a successful career is going to be childless and miserable and that her life is going to be devoid of joy.
00:05:33
Speaker
And so that's a way of publicly bullying women who have aspirational goals, even if it's just like because they're just sort of self-motivated or if they have aspirational goals because they do like power, they just don't like the fact that the power has shifted away from men.
00:05:48
Speaker
So now they're doing all this concern trolling bullying and
00:05:51
Speaker
of whenever a woman expresses a thought of vulnerability about, hey, maybe I haven't found somebody yet and I'd like to get married or if they've had fertility troubles.
00:06:01
Speaker
And very infamously, one of the VPs of, I don't remember, sorry, which company, but a tech VP.
00:06:06
Speaker
And she actually struggled with fertility issues for a long time and had nothing to do with her age.
00:06:10
Speaker
And all the manosphere was bullying her for that.
00:06:12
Speaker
It's just like they want to pile on women who have fertility struggles, who also have good jobs and are highly educated just to discourage women from pursuing anything that might give us any power.
00:06:25
Speaker
I mean, ultimately, you know, like, negging is a way that men try to humble women to actually achieve something.
00:06:32
Speaker
And even if a woman, it doesn't have to be like you've been promoted or something.
00:06:36
Speaker
Just by the fact that you are female, men know that you have an inherent advantage and that you are inherently valuable, perhaps more so than men to some degree.
00:06:46
Speaker
And that makes a lot of them very, very uncomfortable.
00:06:49
Speaker
So, like, for me, the way to tackle, like, negging and bullying is to understand where it's coming from.
00:06:55
Speaker
and know that it doesn't say anything about you.
00:06:58
Speaker
It says a lot about the man's insecurities because I think jealousy and envy, very few people are very comfortable with saying, I'm actually quite envious or I'm jealous.
00:07:08
Speaker
They'll usually wrap it up in something that seems like constructive criticism or a neg or an attack.
00:07:15
Speaker
And, you know, when it comes to men, just stop putting, you know, so much stock into their opinions.
00:07:19
Speaker
Just like with most things male, it's abundant and low value.
00:07:24
Speaker
Yeah.
00:07:24
Speaker
I mean, if you just recognize that it's a power trip for these guys and it's just them trying, I mean, just imagine being that obsessed over a stranger's fertility, for example.
00:07:34
Speaker
It's weird.
00:07:34
Speaker
And you have to understand that their laser focus on something that honestly doesn't really concern them is because they can feel they're losing power.
00:07:42
Speaker
It has nothing to do with them actually caring about being actually caring about what
00:07:46
Speaker
Like think about all the women's issues out there and the fact that they've decided to take up this thing like that nobody asked for.
00:07:52
Speaker
It's because it's a power thing.
00:07:54
Speaker
I think you just have to recognize when a man laser focuses on you as a problem or trying to solve a problem that you never asked them to help solve or don't necessarily think is a problem.
00:08:05
Speaker
It's because they are trying to insert themselves as the authorities and shift the power to themselves and away from you.
00:08:11
Speaker
So that's all that is.
00:08:13
Speaker
Yes, exactly.
00:08:15
Speaker
Next, number seven, weaponized empathy.
Exploitation of Women's Empathy
00:08:20
Speaker
Oh, wow.
00:08:21
Speaker
This is a big one.
00:08:22
Speaker
This is a really, really big one.
00:08:24
Speaker
And it's a big one because so many women fall for it as well.
00:08:27
Speaker
So many women fall for it.
00:08:29
Speaker
Women are often socialized to be empathetic beyond the place where it makes any sense in a way that men are not.
00:08:38
Speaker
And men know this, this whole, again, it goes back to backfooting, you know, men will say publicly, no one cares about my mental health whilst extracting the emotional and also mental labor of the women around them.
00:08:53
Speaker
I mean, even immediately around them, but extracting, you know, that whole, oh, poor little oppressed, you know, men's like sympathy that women are so happy to dish out.
00:09:03
Speaker
And again, it's just backfitting because men know that women are naturally empathetic, which is why they pull the stunts that they do.
00:09:10
Speaker
Yeah, I think it's a combination of socialized empathy and probably biological empathy in comparison to men.
00:09:18
Speaker
But I do think a lot of it's social, whereas like the position of women is often put to be the martyr within the family.
00:09:26
Speaker
The selfless person who serves everyone else and never has her needs met.
00:09:29
Speaker
That's not really a natural position per se, especially not for a grown man.
00:09:34
Speaker
Maybe for your kids, we might argue that it's partially biological on some level, but men really, really exploit this when it comes to interpersonal relationships with women, as well as society at large, when they're trying to push movements, they'll often put forward a really, really sympathetic case of
00:09:54
Speaker
as the focal point for it to get women on board, right?
00:09:57
Speaker
Like if you show how something is affecting people in a really negative way, most women, I think, are going to be the first ones to get on board to say like, oh, we shouldn't do this because this is a really horrible thing to do to people or I feel empathetic for this person.
00:10:12
Speaker
Not recognizing that like sometimes in society, people are getting their karma or sometimes in society, there's only lesser of two evils.
00:10:19
Speaker
Like you can't save everything all of the time.
00:10:22
Speaker
And it's perfectly okay in society.
00:10:24
Speaker
You don't have to care about everything.
00:10:26
Speaker
You actually don't.
00:10:27
Speaker
Because especially as women, we only have so much capacity.
00:10:31
Speaker
And the world is quite a shitty place, at least at the moment.
00:10:35
Speaker
Like you really, really don't have to care about everything.
00:10:38
Speaker
And I think that when I realised that if I was scrolling through my newsfeed and saw something sad that I don't have to care about it, I actually became a lot happier and mentally free because that's exactly what men are doing.
00:10:48
Speaker
They are scrolling past and not caring about stuff.
00:10:51
Speaker
Scrolling past, walking past, skipping past.
00:10:55
Speaker
Honestly, I look at the videos of where a woman has been violently assaulted in an apartment building and the men just carried on walking.
00:11:01
Speaker
I'm not saying women should be like that, but it just goes to show that they can just walk on and not give a shit.
00:11:07
Speaker
Yeah, I think men have a little bit more of a self-preservation instinct by default.
00:11:13
Speaker
And I think women probably have it too, but it's socialized out of us at an early age for the benefit of men.
00:11:19
Speaker
So when we say weaponized empathy, it's often because the way that they socialize us out of being self-preserving is through empathy.
00:11:28
Speaker
Right.
00:11:28
Speaker
right?
00:11:29
Speaker
A lot of people who are ne'er-do-wells will pretend to be victims and pretend to be helpless in order to lure women to help them, only to then harm them.
00:11:39
Speaker
Ted Bundy.
00:11:40
Speaker
Yeah.
00:11:40
Speaker
Ted Bundy is an example.
00:11:43
Speaker
You know, that's like an individual, but often that's also taking place on a societal wide level.
00:11:48
Speaker
It's like, you know, we've talked about abortion rights, etc.
00:11:50
Speaker
They're saying that they're trying to like protect unborn babies and they're like weaponizing a lot of women's empathy over
00:11:57
Speaker
the idea that there might be like dead babies or babies that are being mistreated, etc.
00:12:01
Speaker
And then not realizing that like, actually, without having robust abortion laws, it means that rapists get to choose their children.
00:12:09
Speaker
It means you could die from sepsis because you have complications from a pregnancy and you're unable to get an abortion.
00:12:15
Speaker
And a lot of the women who are in red states right now are figuring out or finding out just how limited they are and just how much of a
00:12:22
Speaker
fool's bargain they made with these anti-abortion activists for their overall health.
00:12:27
Speaker
And like, it's not that anybody thinks abortion is like the best option.
00:12:31
Speaker
I think even most of your leftist pro-sex education people always think like contraception is the best, the best way to prevent pregnancy and abortion shouldn't necessarily be used
00:12:43
Speaker
you know, as regular birth control.
00:12:45
Speaker
But even then, it's like, you have to weigh the pros and cons and not be so swayed by like situational empathetic cases that you forget that there's a large societal wide implication of getting rid of certain things.
00:12:58
Speaker
Exactly.
00:12:59
Speaker
Another situation they're doing that, and we just talked to Dr. Suzanne Vierling, is a lot of women who are swayed against reporting their husbands for various reasons or their boyfriend.
00:13:11
Speaker
If they're victims of domestic violence, you'll find that women often feel more empathy for their abusers than themselves.
00:13:18
Speaker
Very famously, I just talked about Megan Thee Stallion not wanting to report, you know, originally that Tory Lanez had a gun because she was afraid of him being shot by the police or a lot of women who have been victims of domestic violence who are afraid of messing up their husband's career.
00:13:34
Speaker
So they recant.
00:13:35
Speaker
There's just a lot of that kind of thing where men weaponize women's empathy, even though they're the perpetrators and they're abusers.
00:13:43
Speaker
And, you
00:13:44
Speaker
women go along with it because we don't wish them to suffer the consequences of their actions or we think we don't see the societal wide implications of implementing something out of empathy that actually is the worst of two evils.
00:13:58
Speaker
Yes, exactly.
00:14:00
Speaker
And I think a strategy to combat, like I said earlier on, is that, you know, your compassion and empathy as a woman, you don't have to give it to anybody and nobody is entitled to it by default.
00:14:10
Speaker
You'll often find that when it comes to, you know, weaponising empathy, men feel entitled to women's empathy.
00:14:17
Speaker
You know, this is also why they extract it.
00:14:19
Speaker
And as a woman, you can say, I just don't care about this as well.
00:14:23
Speaker
And another thing to note as well, and this is something that my, like an aunt of mine said to me years ago, and it stuck with me, is that just always be in a relationship with a man where he loves you more than you love him.
00:14:37
Speaker
Because if a man, you know, let's say that he loves a woman at 100%,
00:14:42
Speaker
You know, if a woman, you know, loves that same man at 50%, she's probably still, you know, loving the man more, if that makes sense, just because of the way women and men are socialized differently.
00:14:52
Speaker
So a woman's 50% in a lot of cases is still worth more than a man's 100%.
00:14:58
Speaker
So to basically, you know, modify your behavior accordingly, you know, especially when it comes to dealing with like men, you know, when we think that we're being unfair to men as women thinking inside our socialization, it's actually, you know, that's actually fair to men in terms of objective fairness.
00:15:16
Speaker
Does that make sense?
00:15:17
Speaker
So I would always bear that in mind as well.
00:15:19
Speaker
Like you don't have to give your empathy and compassion to anybody.
00:15:22
Speaker
And if you feel like you are being manipulated to give it, that's because you are being manipulated and you should run.
00:15:29
Speaker
But also is like, just care about men a bit less, generally speaking.
00:15:34
Speaker
Care about them less.
00:15:36
Speaker
Because even if you care and love them a bit less, you are still caring and loving them a lot.
00:15:42
Speaker
Yeah.
00:15:42
Speaker
I mean, if it wasn't for women's work and most of the caretaking trades and nonprofits and volunteer organizations, like the society would basically collapse because men don't have the requisite amount of empathy for their fellow human beings to do as much care work as women do.
00:16:00
Speaker
Right.
00:16:00
Speaker
I mean, just look at that on a societal wide level, like, and think about the fact that the men's rights activists are always complaining about how nobody cares about men's problems, but I don't see them getting up and like volunteering in homeless shelters.
00:16:11
Speaker
Right.
00:16:12
Speaker
Nope.
00:16:14
Speaker
Nope.
00:16:15
Speaker
No.
00:16:15
Speaker
So women, all women, I mean, elder care, everything, right.
00:16:22
Speaker
Children, childcare, like anything that has to do with vulnerable people in society, it's going to be like mostly women, unless it's like horribly dangerous for some reason.
00:16:33
Speaker
So just off rip, just understand that men weaponize our empathy against us.
00:16:37
Speaker
And they also devalue it, which is why a lot of those professions are not paid well.
00:16:42
Speaker
Because also, a lot of women don't want to demand more money for their time because they feel like, oh, I'm doing this out of the goodness of my heart.
00:16:49
Speaker
Yeah, I'm passionate about it.
00:16:52
Speaker
And quite frankly, I feel like more women need to be selfish in that arena as well.
00:16:57
Speaker
Because, you know, the golden rule applies.
00:17:00
Speaker
Whoever has the gold makes the rules.
00:17:02
Speaker
If you got paid more, then you could shift and funnel your money into initiatives that you want to promote, which is basically what men do.
00:17:09
Speaker
They just try to get as much money and power as possible.
00:17:12
Speaker
And then they shift the narrative through politics.
00:17:14
Speaker
funding initiatives that they want in society.
00:17:18
Speaker
Whereas I think women try to do it bottom up a lot.
00:17:20
Speaker
And there's definitely room for that.
00:17:23
Speaker
I'm not saying to stop doing that.
00:17:24
Speaker
I'm just saying there has to be more women who are like mercenaries and understand like the power structure at the top, meaning like extract as much money from these groats as possible and like turn your empathy off for as long as it takes you to get the money you need and then reallocate it where you see fit.
00:17:39
Speaker
In conclusion, Rob, these motherfuckers.
00:17:40
Speaker
No, I'm kidding.
00:17:42
Speaker
In conclusion...
00:17:43
Speaker
Rob's gross.
00:17:44
Speaker
Thanks for inclusion.
00:17:46
Speaker
Rob's gross.
00:17:47
Speaker
Well, no, to be fair, I think I've told this story before, but when I was dating somebody and they didn't show up for a date and left me waiting for 50 minutes due to family problems, I just straight up said, I don't care about your family issues.
00:18:01
Speaker
Like you've wasted my time.
00:18:03
Speaker
And so they paid me 50 pounds.
00:18:06
Speaker
I just straight up said, I don't care.
00:18:08
Speaker
Like you've inconvenienced me.
00:18:09
Speaker
Like I'm not here for your sob story.
00:18:11
Speaker
Like I just don't care.
00:18:12
Speaker
The sky didn't fall in and he actually realized he fucked up and he paid me accordingly.
00:18:15
Speaker
So that's that.
00:18:17
Speaker
Number eight, projection, projection, projection, projection.
00:18:24
Speaker
This is another male power tactic.
Projection of Male Needs
00:18:26
Speaker
Take the things that they believe that they feel that they want and then project it onto women.
00:18:33
Speaker
And the things that they need as well.
00:18:35
Speaker
So, you know, they need to feel wanted.
00:18:37
Speaker
They need to get married because men have better outcomes from marriage than women, statistically speaking.
00:18:43
Speaker
You know, they need companionship and then project that onto women and make out like if a woman doesn't have or want these things, then she's the defective one.
00:18:53
Speaker
That's like quite a multi-layered manipulation tactic that they're doing there, actually, if we look at, you know, what they're doing with projection.
00:19:01
Speaker
And it's, you know, part of the reason why, for example, men will be clowning women who are supposedly going to be old cat ladies.
00:19:10
Speaker
But then there's now been a flurry of articles coming out saying that male, you know, social isolation should be seen as a public health crisis.
00:19:18
Speaker
Like literally, literally.
00:19:20
Speaker
Yeah, because it's a them problem.
00:19:23
Speaker
And they want it to make it an us problem, right?
00:19:25
Speaker
That's what they do.
00:19:26
Speaker
They pretend like, oh, you feel some way, but it's really them so that they can try to convince you to do something.
00:19:33
Speaker
And what men generally try to do is to project a lot of their worst qualities and a lot of the things that they believe in a lot of the things that they would do on to women's motivations in any given situation.
00:19:47
Speaker
And so you can see a lot of like their paranoia.
00:19:50
Speaker
stemming from the fact that they are believing the worst things about women because they are, in fact, the worst things about men, meaning like they embody the worst qualities of humanity.
00:20:03
Speaker
And so they assume that women are operating on any given level on that level.
00:20:07
Speaker
And I'm not saying every woman's like an angel, but like the level of paranoia that men have about everything is really unjustified considering how much of the violence is only flowing in one direction, which is male to female.
00:20:19
Speaker
Yeah, the violence and exploitation, like how men with no money, you know, worry about being stripped of all their assets.
00:20:27
Speaker
Right.
00:20:27
Speaker
What is that about?
00:20:28
Speaker
But trust me, like during my time in the homeless hostel, again, it's men drawing out the physical, you know, mental and emotional resources from women.
00:20:38
Speaker
It goes the other way.
00:20:40
Speaker
So it's complete projection.
00:20:42
Speaker
I also think part of it is fantasy as well.
00:20:44
Speaker
Like men want women to want all of these things
00:20:48
Speaker
They ultimately want, you know, women to want and value what they want because it will make it easier to oppress us.
00:20:55
Speaker
And that's why men are now starting to panic when, you know, women are seeing, you know, successful female role models who have a good career, who are saying no to having kids, who are getting married on their own terms, who are demanding more from men and being successful at it.
00:21:10
Speaker
Because ultimately it comes back to, you know, men wanting to make it easier for them as a class to be able to oppress women.
00:21:18
Speaker
And if they can no longer convince women or project onto women their needs, wants and desires, that then becomes a lot more difficult.
00:21:25
Speaker
And that is why there's always been a backlash to every single wave of feminism.
00:21:29
Speaker
Right, exactly.
00:21:30
Speaker
So if they can't project the things that they want onto us, then they can't effectively control the narrative.
00:21:37
Speaker
And when they can't effectively control the narrative, then they can't effectively exert power over us to do what they want.
00:21:44
Speaker
Yes, exactly.
00:21:45
Speaker
And again, with that one, I would just say, any narrative that comes from a man, whether I would always just do it in terms of the female litmus test as well, does it maximise female benefit?
00:21:59
Speaker
If it doesn't, or if you think there's a question mark around it, then that's for you to go away and to unpick that as to what that particular tradition or, you know, what that means like for your own life.
00:22:10
Speaker
But I am glad now, thanks to social media and just more of a radical awakening amongst women that we are moving slowly but surely away from the idea that, you know, for example, men say something, you
00:22:24
Speaker
And then, you know, women just go along with it.
00:22:27
Speaker
I think there is a lot more critical thinking.
00:22:29
Speaker
The trad wives, I think they'll get there eventually, but I'm still holding out hope for them.
00:22:34
Speaker
But that's what I'm really, really glad to see just generally in society.
00:22:37
Speaker
So we need to just keep up with it as well.
00:22:41
Speaker
And yeah, so don't let them project.
00:22:43
Speaker
We are not cinema screens, women.
00:22:45
Speaker
We are women.
00:22:46
Speaker
So, you know, men don't need to project their shit onto us.
00:22:49
Speaker
Exactly.
00:22:50
Speaker
And number nine is the lies.
Lying and Gaslighting Tactics
00:22:53
Speaker
The lying.
00:22:54
Speaker
Lying.
00:22:55
Speaker
I mean... Lying, yeah.
00:22:57
Speaker
This one's pretty straightforward.
00:22:58
Speaker
They just lie.
00:22:59
Speaker
They just make stuff up.
00:23:00
Speaker
They don't tell you the truth.
00:23:02
Speaker
And there's big lies and there's small lies and there's societal wide lies.
00:23:07
Speaker
Yeah, I read a really good quote from a feminist on Twitter.
00:23:11
Speaker
I'll definitely see if I can find the quote.
00:23:13
Speaker
It might be from a deleted account now.
00:23:14
Speaker
But they were saying that, you know, when they lie or they're not consistent, they don't see it as lying because in the moment they will say whatever needs to be said to get them the outcome that they want.
00:23:27
Speaker
So this is why they can be so wildly inconsistent with what they want.
00:23:31
Speaker
Do you know what I mean?
00:23:32
Speaker
And I think that is a really great way to look at, you know, when you're dealing with your interactions with men.
00:23:37
Speaker
And this is part of the reason why FDS, we say you need to vet men for a very, very long period of time.
00:23:44
Speaker
to almost be constantly vetting just to make sure that what he's saying is consistent.
00:23:48
Speaker
And most importantly, what he's saying actually aligns with his actions, because there are a lot of men that will say whatever needs to be said in order to get what they want in the moment.
00:23:57
Speaker
Exactly.
00:23:58
Speaker
So, I mean, yeah,
00:24:00
Speaker
There's been a couple of studies on gender differences between men and women when it comes to lying.
00:24:06
Speaker
And a lot of them have concluded that men lie more often.
00:24:12
Speaker
Men tend to tell bigger lies.
00:24:14
Speaker
And men are more skeptical than women.
00:24:16
Speaker
So they know they're liars.
00:24:18
Speaker
No, it's okay.
00:24:20
Speaker
But women tend to be able to sense lies a little bit more than men are.
00:24:23
Speaker
So it's interesting because there's a social aspect of lying.
00:24:27
Speaker
It's about control.
00:24:28
Speaker
I think it just comes down to the idea that men feel like they deserve power by any means necessary.
00:24:34
Speaker
And one of the best ways to get power is to just lie to people, right?
00:24:38
Speaker
Like when you think of all the like biggest scams that have ever happened in society, they're all named after men, right?
00:24:43
Speaker
Like Ponzi scheme.
00:24:44
Speaker
Yeah.
00:24:46
Speaker
Pyramid scheme wasn't named after a man.
00:24:48
Speaker
It was invented by a man though.
00:24:50
Speaker
Yeah.
00:24:50
Speaker
I mean, men are expert architects of complicated lies.
00:24:55
Speaker
And some of those lies have societal wide effects, right?
00:24:59
Speaker
Like collapsing the whole goddamn economy.
00:25:01
Speaker
So way to go, Scroats.
00:25:03
Speaker
Because once again, I don't know if it's just empathy differences that are socialized or biological, or there's less consequences for men for telling these type of lies, because ultimately,
00:25:17
Speaker
A man can tell a lie.
00:25:18
Speaker
And unless you have the ability or the power to stop him from asserting that lies the truth, then often women just kind of have to go along with it.
00:25:27
Speaker
You know, because men have other types of power, in addition to the ability to lie, like they have physical power, economic power, social power, if they tell a lie, and no one can stop them from telling that lie, then that's what it is.
00:25:40
Speaker
Right.
00:25:40
Speaker
And they keep telling the lie until somebody stops them.
00:25:43
Speaker
So that's it.
00:25:45
Speaker
It's a power tactic.
00:25:46
Speaker
So for women, it's a tough thing because, I mean, your bullshit meter has got to be high.
00:25:50
Speaker
Your empathy has got to be low.
00:25:52
Speaker
Yeah.
00:25:53
Speaker
And not only that, like your bullshit meter has to be high, but you also need to be able to follow through on that.
00:25:58
Speaker
You know, when there are lots of women who know that something isn't quite right with a man or they know that he's lying, but they sort of, you know, brush it under the carpet or don't.
00:26:09
Speaker
you know, lean into that intuition.
00:26:11
Speaker
Like, honestly, like whenever I've suspected a guy of hiding something big from me and I've investigated, I've always been correct.
00:26:17
Speaker
And this is part of the reason why, like, you know, like on Reddit, when a woman suspects her man of cheating, for example, and she goes to his phone and finds something...
00:26:24
Speaker
you see some of the comments being like, you've invaded his privacy.
00:26:27
Speaker
And it's like, well, no, because if your suspicions are confirmed, that almost negates the invasion of, or it should negate the invasion of privacy because you were proven correct.
00:26:37
Speaker
They were lying to you.
00:26:38
Speaker
So it's also about leaning into that bullshit meter because also, like I said, like men are often not very good liars.
00:26:46
Speaker
And they don't have to be right because they have other types of powers.
00:26:49
Speaker
They can get up there and tell bald face lies.
00:26:51
Speaker
I mean, you've seen our politicians, right?
00:26:53
Speaker
And unless you can stop them, they're not going to do anything.
00:26:56
Speaker
They're not going to change.
00:26:57
Speaker
They're going to keep asserting whatever narrative, no matter how much it's built in a house of horseshit and lies that benefits them until you can stop them.
00:27:04
Speaker
Exactly.
00:27:05
Speaker
Exactly.
00:27:06
Speaker
So I understand like a lot of politicians, for example, know they're full of shit.
00:27:10
Speaker
And this is not even just on the political level.
00:27:11
Speaker
This is corporate.
00:27:12
Speaker
This is everywhere.
00:27:13
Speaker
There's always somebody at the top, usually a man who is going to put forth a narrative that he knows is horseshit.
00:27:20
Speaker
And your ability to succeed in that system is how well you either adapt to that narrative and you're a good actor or actress and pretend like you believe it and go along with their initiative.
00:27:30
Speaker
Or if you're fully drunken the Kool-Aid and like, don't know, it's a lie.
00:27:33
Speaker
Yeah.
00:27:33
Speaker
either or, right?
00:27:35
Speaker
So, you know, understanding that power dynamic is like the bitterest pills to swallow, in my opinion, because sometimes you realize like, oh, wow, it's a man's world and we're living in it.
00:27:45
Speaker
More specifically, it's a rich man's world and we're living in it.
00:27:47
Speaker
Meaning they can get up there and say,
00:27:49
Speaker
things about women that we know to be objectively not true.
00:27:53
Speaker
And we've dismantled a lot of those things here on the Female Dating Strategy Podcast and other places over the years, right?
00:28:00
Speaker
Like things like, oh, women are attracted to older men, right?
00:28:04
Speaker
No one wants a saggy bald scrote, as Ro eloquently said.
00:28:09
Speaker
But I think it's like you said as well, like Ro also said, the manosphere also have a reckoning and an awakening that
00:28:15
Speaker
That's not true.
00:28:16
Speaker
Like, when they're 40, they're not going to get 18-year-old women wanting them.
00:28:21
Speaker
No, we don't want to fuck you, man.
00:28:24
Speaker
Even if they have money.
00:28:25
Speaker
Exactly.
00:28:26
Speaker
They'll be fucking the cute bartender who makes $12 an hour on the side.
00:28:32
Speaker
Exactly.
00:28:32
Speaker
Hotties want to fuck other hotties.
00:28:34
Speaker
This is not like rocket science.
00:28:36
Speaker
Women do have sexual preferences as well.
00:28:40
Speaker
And this is not rocket science to anybody except for men who are trying to use all of the emotional manipulation tactics we've talked about in this episode.
00:28:49
Speaker
negging women who don't want to date old saggy bald scrotes.
00:28:52
Speaker
Remember, we've talked about that.
00:28:53
Speaker
There was an example that we had a couple of episodes back about these Instagram models.
00:28:58
Speaker
We're talking about how they wouldn't date guys in their 30s.
00:29:00
Speaker
They were Instagram models in their 20s and how the men were raging about that and attacking these women.
00:29:06
Speaker
They were raging about that on Twitter for days, trying to bully these women into dating old men.
00:29:11
Speaker
Apparently, it didn't work.
00:29:12
Speaker
Yeah.
00:29:13
Speaker
Next thing was projection, right?
00:29:16
Speaker
Like, oh, a lot of women like older men.
00:29:18
Speaker
That's what they always start with.
00:29:20
Speaker
And that like, older men are more desirable and women like this because and the reason they're mad is because the projection didn't work.
00:29:26
Speaker
So they went back to bullying, lying, everything.
00:29:28
Speaker
Right.
00:29:28
Speaker
You know what I'm saying?
00:29:30
Speaker
It's a cycle of men trying to assert a narrative that's horseshit.
00:29:34
Speaker
And sometimes they're successful because we live in a society where men often have the microphone.
00:29:38
Speaker
And so women just think that must be true because the director of such and such company is saying that or this person with a PhD from this university is asserting this.
00:29:48
Speaker
And not really.
00:29:49
Speaker
These people have an agenda.
00:29:50
Speaker
They'll straight up manipulate data to say whatever they wanted to say.
00:29:55
Speaker
And sometimes it doesn't come out to years after the fact that whole industries are built on mountains of lies.
00:30:02
Speaker
So just understand that.
00:30:04
Speaker
You don't have to believe everything just because it comes from a so-called expert.
00:30:09
Speaker
You should be skeptical of any man who pushes a narrative that doesn't feel good to you, even if you can't articulate it yet.
00:30:15
Speaker
Because chances are, it's a lie.
00:30:17
Speaker
Yeah.
00:30:17
Speaker
you know, deep down in your heart that like you have a crush on that cute boy in your class when you're in college and like you weren't trying to date like 35 year old, like coffee stained bloated men for like with a 401k.
00:30:28
Speaker
It's like, they're just lying, right?
00:30:30
Speaker
Like they're just telling like both.
00:30:32
Speaker
face lies and like trying to push women to do it.
00:30:35
Speaker
So they know if they lie often enough, it becomes the truth.
00:30:38
Speaker
If nobody can stop, if they can accumulate enough power to prevent women from fighting back.
00:30:42
Speaker
So like, just don't accept it and understand that it's always in their interest to lie, project, neg, bully, gaslight and weaponize your empathy.
00:30:50
Speaker
Because the last resort is what about all those poor, lonely men?
00:30:54
Speaker
That's why we need to have a prescription prostitutes.
00:30:57
Speaker
Those poor, lonely men who can't have sex because, you know,
00:31:00
Speaker
That's going to be the last resort once they realize they can't gaslight younger women having sex with them.
00:31:05
Speaker
They'll try and do it by force.
00:31:06
Speaker
Yeah, they'll try and do it by mandate.
00:31:08
Speaker
Not even by mandate, but like weaponize empathy by trying to make women feel bad for men who don't get sex.
00:31:15
Speaker
Yep, it's already starting.
00:31:17
Speaker
Exactly.
00:31:17
Speaker
Don't feel bad.
00:31:18
Speaker
That's their karma.
00:31:19
Speaker
They suck.
00:31:20
Speaker
They shouldn't.
00:31:21
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:21
Speaker
And also as well, just off the back of lying as well, just for people who are out there dating or getting to know men, especially online, be careful of A1 because chat GPT is very, very clever.
00:31:33
Speaker
And women are now being met with men who are literally chat GPT-ing their whole conversation because obviously chat GPT can make somebody come across better than they actually are.
00:31:44
Speaker
So these lazy scrotes are now generating whole ass conversations using chat GPT.
00:31:50
Speaker
So just be aware of that if you're dating online, because usually though, like people who use chat GPT like that are not very cerebral.
00:31:58
Speaker
So it's usually quite obvious because A1 speaks in a certain way, but over time they will start getting clever with it.
00:32:05
Speaker
So you won't know the difference, but yeah.
00:32:06
Speaker
just something to be aware of that just came off my timeline, which I just wanted to share is that, you know, men are using different tools to lie.
00:32:14
Speaker
A1 to lie.
00:32:15
Speaker
AI, I call it A1, it's AI, artificial intelligence to lie.
00:32:19
Speaker
So watch out for that.
00:32:20
Speaker
Gotcha.
00:32:21
Speaker
So our last strategy.
00:32:24
Speaker
Last tactic of male power.
00:32:26
Speaker
Gaslighting.
00:32:27
Speaker
So gaslighting, I feel like it's one of the most overused, incorrectly used terms out there.
00:32:33
Speaker
And I think it's important to define what it actually is.
00:32:37
Speaker
So not every form of lying is necessarily gaslighting, but gaslighting is a form of lying.
00:32:43
Speaker
So gaslighting is a deliberate, abusive tactic in order to get somebody to doubt their perception of reality.
00:32:51
Speaker
So it goes a bit beyond lying in that the abuser or the gaslighter is actively trying to get a person they are trying to gaslight to doubt their own perception and memory of events.
00:33:05
Speaker
So it's a lot more involved than just lying.
00:33:08
Speaker
And I feel like it's one of those terms like narcissism that is just being bandied around when
00:33:13
Speaker
it actually refers to a specific manipulation tactic and a manipulation tactic that is very, very abusive and very, very devastating.
00:33:21
Speaker
I mean, not saying that lying isn't abusive or devastating, but gaslighting is lying to a different level.
00:33:27
Speaker
Because usually with liars, what I found is that liars don't care if you believe them or not, right?
00:33:31
Speaker
As long as they can say, I didn't do it, they'll just keep lying, right?
00:33:35
Speaker
Gaslighting is they actually want you to believe an alternative version of events and they can go to great lengths to get you to do that.
00:33:42
Speaker
Just wanted to put that out there from a psychology perspective.
00:33:45
Speaker
So what's the official definition of gaslighting?
00:33:48
Speaker
So a form of psychological manipulation in which the abuser attempts to sow self-doubt and confusion in their victim's mind.
00:33:56
Speaker
So you can use a lot of different techniques to gaslight somebody, including Lyme.
00:34:01
Speaker
Yes, yeah.
00:34:02
Speaker
But people tend to use it in place of lying.
00:34:05
Speaker
It's a lot more involved than just lying, if that makes sense.
00:34:08
Speaker
Yes.
00:34:09
Speaker
And it's a form of coercive control, by the way, gaslighting.
00:34:12
Speaker
Yeah.
00:34:13
Speaker
It's a way to get a person to perceive reality in the way that the abuser wants them to perceive it, despite things not being the way that the abuser wants you to perceive it as, right?
00:34:27
Speaker
It's like, it's a form of trying to control a person's movement and perception of a situation by strategic omission of certain information by lying, meaning they'll do things like they'll say something and then pretend they never said it.
00:34:42
Speaker
That's obviously a form
00:34:42
Speaker
of lying or they'll twist like certain events an event that actually happened they will twist that to make them look favorable and you look unfavorable so like manipulating the situation as well
00:34:57
Speaker
That is another tactic they can use.
00:34:59
Speaker
I think the difference is the length of time, as well as the pervasiveness of the control from the gaslighter to the gaslighting, right?
00:35:12
Speaker
The idea is to make you doubt your own sanity and doubt your own perception of events.
00:35:17
Speaker
Yes.
00:35:18
Speaker
One of the ways people do that is by taking a narrative.
00:35:22
Speaker
I think a form of gaslighting that tends to come up a lot, especially when it comes to men and women, is gaslighting women into believing that male depravity in relationships is not only normal, but women should be okay with it and actively encourage it.
00:35:40
Speaker
So we see things like with BDSM.
00:35:43
Speaker
or allowing porn in relationships where women who speak against porn in relationships are deemed to be crazy, even though
00:35:50
Speaker
The porn in society is objectively having a negative effect on, for example, male and female relationship dynamics.
00:35:59
Speaker
But at the same time, men are gaslighting us into believing that it's a normal, it should be seen as a normal part of a healthy relationship, for example.
00:36:06
Speaker
That's one of the ways that women can be gaslit by men into accepting behaviour that is not in their best interests from men.
00:36:14
Speaker
When you look at gaslighting on a societal level, that's essentially what politics is.
00:36:19
Speaker
It's a bunch of people who want to control a narrative a certain way and suppress any type of evidence to the contrary of their narrative.
00:36:28
Speaker
That's essentially the game of politics.
00:36:30
Speaker
And if people are successful at it, meaning like they are able to gaslight a lot of people into believing something that's against their interest for the benefit of a few, then they can get very rich and very powerful.
00:36:42
Speaker
Right.
00:36:43
Speaker
Oh, my God.
00:36:44
Speaker
On my heart.
00:36:45
Speaker
Like the minute you say that, I just thought of Brexit.
00:36:47
Speaker
Like my heart is just I'll never go over that.
00:36:50
Speaker
But yeah, that's just so eloquently put.
00:36:52
Speaker
And the Brexit debate just encapsulates that from a UK perspective.
00:36:58
Speaker
Explain it a little bit for us non-UK people.
00:37:00
Speaker
Like what about that gas is gaslighting?
00:37:03
Speaker
So to cut a very, very long story short, the UK has always had quite a acrimonious relationship with the EU because there's this talk of giving up our
Brexit as Political Gaslighting
00:37:13
Speaker
sovereignty.
00:37:13
Speaker
We have to answer to Brussels, which is complete nonsense, by the way, without getting too political.
00:37:18
Speaker
But the EU is basically, it isn't like the US, even though some people want to make it a federation, but that will never happen because I just don't see that passing.
00:37:27
Speaker
But it's a group of states that basically starts to come together and agree on certain...
00:37:33
Speaker
laws and customs to make it easier and to make Europe a stronger continent.
00:37:39
Speaker
But not every country in Europe is part of the EU.
00:37:42
Speaker
So bearing in mind Britain was one of the big three of the EU, so the EU 28, so alongside Germany and France and the UK, every EU law that was passed, the UK agreed to it or our representatives agreed to it.
00:37:56
Speaker
But when it came to the Brexit vote, the narrative was that
00:38:00
Speaker
Brussels, they tell us what to do.
00:38:02
Speaker
When it's like, EU can't, the way it's structured is that every country has a veto, number one.
00:38:08
Speaker
And countries like the UK, majority of the time, especially on the big issues, we always voted in favour of that particular law.
00:38:16
Speaker
So the idea that we were just being ordered around by Brussels was complete and objective nonsense.
00:38:22
Speaker
And what was even worse during the run-up to the referendum, so the Tories decided to hold a referendum.
00:38:29
Speaker
A referendum is basically like a giant opinion poll where every person who's eligible to vote can basically say yes or no to EU membership.
00:38:37
Speaker
In the run-up, it was wild.
00:38:39
Speaker
So we had every leading economist...
00:38:41
Speaker
every leading expert from MI6, Bank of England, basically telling the country, Brexit is going to be a terrible idea.
00:38:47
Speaker
Don't do it.
00:38:48
Speaker
Like, you know, vote to stay in the EU.
00:38:50
Speaker
And people still believe this narrative that being in the EU was terrible, that, you know, we would have so much more free trade.
00:38:58
Speaker
At the time, I think Obama was president at the time.
00:39:01
Speaker
And he said, like, by the way, if the UK leaves the EU, they are going to go to the back of the queue in terms of US trade deals.
00:39:09
Speaker
Because it's actually...
00:39:11
Speaker
in part thanks to the EU that a lot of the shit that's in American food is banned in the UK because our laws just won't allow it.
00:39:19
Speaker
And it's part of the reason why things like the EU also regulates, you know, massive conglomerates.
00:39:26
Speaker
So you can't get, you know, companies buying out the competition due to EU competition law, for example.
00:39:32
Speaker
I'm really drawing on my degree knowledge here.
00:39:34
Speaker
So if it's a bit rusty, bear with me.
00:39:36
Speaker
So yeah, so this was mass gaslighting in that the EU, whilst it's not perfect, but the UK was objectively better off in the EU than outside of it.
00:39:44
Speaker
Because ever since we've left, bearing in mind we've had Brexit, we've had COVID, but everything's just gone to ship in the UK.
00:39:53
Speaker
So it's a lot harder now for businesses to export to the EU.
00:39:56
Speaker
We've had to basically concede Northern Ireland.
00:39:59
Speaker
So there's a whole discussion around ports.
00:40:02
Speaker
And basically, if we keep on the track that we're going, it's possible that the outcome of the EU referendum could lead to the breakup of the UK.
00:40:11
Speaker
So Scotland could be independent, Northern Ireland has to play by different rules, basically putting us in a much worse position.
00:40:18
Speaker
And you had people who were...
00:40:21
Speaker
You were saying this would happen based on decades of experience and research.
00:40:25
Speaker
They were drowned out by the politicians who were anti-Europe, anti-EU, basically gaslighting the nation, telling them that the reason why this country has gone to shit is because of the EU.
00:40:37
Speaker
Once we leave the EU, everything will get better.
00:40:39
Speaker
And it was all lies.
00:40:40
Speaker
And we even had like Americans, I remember the day after the vote, we had like Americans saying like, I don't really understand why you've done that.
00:40:48
Speaker
And it's like, if even Americans, no offense, like I don't mean that in a rude way, but if even Americans who don't live here understand the damage, then I don't know how British people can't understand the damage.
00:40:58
Speaker
But then Americans, they weren't exposed to the Brexit propaganda that was happening in this country.
00:41:05
Speaker
And for the average person who is not as informed, because the EU is a very complex structure, I did my dissertation on it as part of my undergrad, and it is a very complex structure, lots of intricacies.
00:41:16
Speaker
But when you put something down that to a yes or no question, it's very, very difficult to make an informed choice unless you actually bother to read and do critical thinking, which is
00:41:29
Speaker
politics relies on people not doing basically so yeah that was the brexit i'm still we voted to leave six years ago seven years ago now and i'm still not over it i'll never go over it because that was just one of the biggest case of political gaslighting that i've seen in my lifetime
00:41:47
Speaker
So that's essentially the main tactics of emotional manipulation that men use in order to gain power, both on an individual and a societal wide level.
00:41:58
Speaker
So I think, once again, it's important to recognize when you're in a narrative, look at the cost-benefit analysis of any narrative you adopt, especially if it's being put forth by men as it pertains to women.
00:42:12
Speaker
And look at the facts.
00:42:14
Speaker
Do your best to look at the facts and not let them use emotional manipulation strategies as a way to extract power from you and add it to themselves.
00:42:22
Speaker
Because it's an infinitely repeatable formula where men use women's natural tendencies towards empathy, being less skeptical, being more likely to give people the benefit of the doubt because they're more empathetic against us constantly.
00:42:37
Speaker
And they can do it in ways that are extremely unethical, that everyone agrees are unethical.
00:42:42
Speaker
But often because women don't necessarily recognize that it's a lie and believe these guys in good faith, then they're able to freely navigate society until we all wake up from the fever dream of gaslighting they crafted around
Closing and Community Invitation
00:42:56
Speaker
us.
00:42:56
Speaker
So that's the second part of this 25 tactics series.
00:42:59
Speaker
So if you would like to discuss this with us on our discord, check us out on patreon.com forward slash female dating strategy.
00:43:06
Speaker
Send us your roasted groats, by the way.
00:43:07
Speaker
I think we're going to do a roasted groat episode soon enough.
00:43:10
Speaker
Yeah.
00:43:11
Speaker
It's summer or summer is coming.
00:43:13
Speaker
Almost summertime.
00:43:14
Speaker
And we need to light the FDS barbecue again.
00:43:17
Speaker
Heck yeah.
00:43:18
Speaker
And cook some scrote bodies.
00:43:21
Speaker
So please do send.
00:43:22
Speaker
And also your queen shit as well.
00:43:23
Speaker
We want to hear how well you're doing and we want to celebrate you as well.
00:43:27
Speaker
So please send us those too.
00:43:29
Speaker
Yes.
00:43:30
Speaker
And check us out on Twitter at fem.shet on the website, www.thefemaledatingstrategy.com and on Instagram at underscore the female dating strategy.
00:43:43
Speaker
Thanks for listening, queens.
00:43:44
Speaker
And for all you saggy bald groats out there, nobody wants you.
00:43:48
Speaker
Stop lying.
00:43:49
Speaker
God, die mad.