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Healing Through Connection: Inside the Movement Helping People Navigate Grief Together
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Have you ever wished there was a place where you could speak about loss without feeling judged or rushed?
In this episode, Melanie Wilson shares how the sudden death of her father led her to create Death of the Party, a gathering where people can show up exactly as they are and feel understood in their grief. What began as a small idea in New York has grown into meaningful events that help strangers feel less alone.
Melanie also talks about Life and Soul, her new service that supports grievers through ceremonies, after loss tasks, estate needs, and end of life planning. She explains how real care often comes from community, honest conversation, and simple guidance during a time when everything feels overwhelming.
This episode is a gentle look at grief, connection, and the courage it takes to build something that helps others heal. It will make you rethink how we show up for the people we love and how we accept support when we need it most.
Tune in and discover a fresh way of understanding grief and the power of community that holds space for both pain and growth.
Key Topics:
-The comfort found in sharing grief with people who understand
-Building community through Death of the Party events
-The evolution of loss into purpose and service
-Creating Life and Soul to guide grievers with care
-The power of honest connection during moments of deep change
Quotes from the episode:
“Death of the Party came from wanting a space where no one has to hide their loss.”
-Melanie Wilson
“Community matters, especially in grief, because not everyone can afford or access professional spaces.”
-Jennifer Muldowney
Timestamp:
[00:00] Podcast Intro
[00:33] Melanie shared how losing her father pushed her to create Death of the Party, a grief focused gathering that gives people a safe place to meet others, express themselves in creative ways, and feel supported through shared loss.
[10:31] Melanie talked about how each event brings returning and new faces, why she keeps Death of the Party as an in person one time experience rather than a long term group, and how it offers community connection but not formal therapy, even though therapists sometimes recommend it.
[17:20] Melanie explained how Death of the Party led her to build Life and Soul, a service that blends ceremony work, after loss guidance, and practical support so grievers can move through funerals, paperwork, and planning with clarity and care.
[24:45] Melanie shared that her services are priced based on each person’s needs, that Life and Soul is a queer owned but welcoming space for all, and she encouraged listeners to connect, join future events, and follow the growth of her work.
[39:25] Outro
Connect with Melanie Wilson:
Email: melanie@thelifeandsoul.co
LinkedIn- linkedin.com/in/melanie-mw
Website - thelifeandsoul.co
Instagram: @thelifeandsoul.co
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Transcript
Introduction to Glam Reaper Podcast and Guest
00:00:00
Speaker
Hi everybody and welcome back to another episode of the Glam Reaper. I can't believe this is season five. Where is time going? This is crazy. ah I'm Jennifer Muldowney aka the Glam Reaper herself and on today's episode I am joined by Melanie and her company is called Life and Soul. So we're going to get into it with Melanie
Melanie's Journey and Grief Experience
00:00:20
Speaker
today. Melanie, welcome.
00:00:22
Speaker
Thank you. How are you? I'm good, thanks. Good. Let's um tell my listeners a little bit about you um and your company and maybe a little bit of background.
00:00:33
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. So I'm Melanie Wilson. um I live in Hoboken, New Jersey, but too must do most of my work in the New York metro area. And um I have just, gosh, on the first of the year, i started my new company called Life & Soul.
00:00:51
Speaker
um And that had come to fruition through um something that I wasn't expecting to create a company out of, which was the is called the Death of the Party um event series.
00:01:04
Speaker
And I've been working on Death of the Party for the past year and a half. So that is really what has brought me to to work on Life in Full. and But basically, my my story, my journey is that I had a number of significant deaths in my life um in my
What is Death of the Party?
00:01:24
Speaker
20s.
00:01:24
Speaker
ah The last one, you know the most biggest one in ah to change my my life path was my father's death unexpectedly in 2019. And um from that, I and that experience, along with some of the other experiences that I had, I realized that whenever I was with folks who I could relate to in grief, It was extremely comforting and a really important conversation to have with folks. Whereas with folks who didn't really understand my what grief could feel like, I definitely had some difficulties kind of being able to connect with them at least.
00:02:07
Speaker
the first couple of years after my father's death. So, yeah. So Death of the Party is an event series. OK. So, OK, so you couldn't, you find it difficult to sort of speak to people who weren't, didn't understand grief effectively, which I think is a lot of people in grief. um And so is Death of the Party, is that sort of Was that creating a community of bringing people together? or what was your vision behind that? Absolutely. so i moved to New York City area after my father's death so that I could be closer to my family who lives um just a couple of hours away.
00:02:41
Speaker
And i had this was actually on the cusp of the pandemic. So when we were coming out of lockdown in New York City area, or at least what we considered lockdown that looked so different from different parts of the world, I would go to some different events and try to make friends. And I, you know, people would ask me that normal question of, you know, are you a New Yorker? When did you move to New York? Why did you move to New York? And I found myself trying to figure out which...
00:03:11
Speaker
which kind of conversations I could have with people on the fly. And most of the time I did share that my father had died or someone you know close to me had died. And because that is a reality that I think is important to share with folks and and show that you can have that conversation. But for folks who didn't understand it, that is when...
00:03:32
Speaker
kind of that conversation would fall flat or I would start making them feel better or they would try to make me feel better. And I was like, wow, this is this is a little awkward. Where can I go from here? Understanding that there there are other people like me and probably having the same type of experiences as I was. you um Can I just create a space where everyone comes to that space with an experience of the loss and that they don't have to hide that part from themselves.
Community Events and Engagement
00:04:01
Speaker
So that's where Death of the Party came from Life of the Party. And so tell us um like your first one, where did you host it? What did you do? Like what was, you know, what was your first one like, I guess, versus the the latest one you did? So um the first Death of the Party event was June 2023. I hosted it at Blue Stockings bookstore um down in the East Village of New York City. And I am part of the LGBTQ community and I invited the LGBTQ community as well as our allies to join.
00:04:39
Speaker
um Kind of just put it out there and thought, Hopefully some folks will come to this mixer. There were 26 of us. Yeah, it was really a beautiful opportunity. So we did have that mixer.
00:04:53
Speaker
i i set it up more as a mixer where folks weren't specifically doing an activity together. So we did actually have a few different ways that people could relate to each other in creative ways. So um One of them being where I had a couple of prompts on the wall asking people to answer them on post-its and then they could post it on the wall so that could help people kind of have a conversation starter.
00:05:19
Speaker
um I also had it where folks could show when they first came in. So I had name tag, pronouns of folks wanted to share that. And then I actually um have, and I still do it at a lot of the the events is um i have this sticker, this way that people can show how open they are to talking about their grief. So it is a sticker or a picture of a book. And there's a closed book, a medium like open book, and then a fully open book to show of folks sharing their their grief. um Or if it's kind of like, oh, proceed with caution asking me about my grief or I'm only open to talking about yours. So that people knew right away and didn't have to say, oh, i'm I'm not really feeling like I can share that part of me tonight, but I'm just here for, you know, the community aspect of it. Yeah.
00:06:11
Speaker
And then um the other activity that folks were able to do is um I collect typewriters. my One of my grandmothers plopped me in front of a typewriter when I was little. but um And I have collected them ever since. And I bring them out for people to be able to type up different things that they're feeling about their grief.
00:06:33
Speaker
um And have found it a really interesting medium for people to kind of be able to explore their grief in. And then at that first mixer, people really started having experience.
00:06:45
Speaker
um this interest to get together into groups. So we had kind of these two different groups form and different folks kind of stepped up as facilitators in those two groups.
00:06:57
Speaker
And that was quite interesting because I, you know, i didn't specifically make ask people to do that Yeah. etc' just like here let's let's see what happens right like people are able to make those decisions for themselves and they did and then um at the end of it people asked me as they were leaving when is the next event and I said I'll get back to you because I don't know but seems like with the 26 folks who you know showed up that this was really something that our community wanted so that's great yeah that was the first one and right up to the I don't say the last one but the latest one what was the difference what have you noticed
00:07:41
Speaker
Yeah, so um the latest specific um Death of the Party event, it was um back in just just in January.
00:07:54
Speaker
And I actually partnered with um a small theater group called Payne's Plow. They're actually from the UK and they were having a run of one of their shows called My Mother's Funeral, the show, um down also in the in the village area.
00:08:13
Speaker
And we ended up doing a mixer and then a conversation around the the theater performance as well. So actually, i don't normally always do um like the prompts on the walls, but we did that for for this one as well because it made I wanted people to start thinking about what things they they might end up seeing in the show.
00:08:40
Speaker
And so we did that within the the small bar at the theater. And then afterwards, we had um folks come back and kind of talk about their own experiences out um out of the different themes that came from the show.
00:08:55
Speaker
um And we had a couple of the actors come and sit with us and um and kind of, you know, even hear about what ah what the experience of an audience member in grief, you know, would have, has perceived from the show.
00:09:12
Speaker
um So yeah, that was really a a very interesting opportunity. And I've really been able to do a lot of partnerships with different folks. um i have hosted with um,
00:09:27
Speaker
actually at a couple of museums, um as well as Greenwood Cemetery. And yeah, so I have really found that the, I would say the crux of the, you know, the actual like meat of what the events are, um,
00:09:44
Speaker
have kind of stayed the same. But then each time i throw different ideas and different creative pieces because I come from like an events coordination background. So I just kind of throw different options out there and really see what will work for for the group. And we go from there to see what people make of it.
00:10:06
Speaker
Very cool. And have you noticed, um like, so from the 26 that were with you at the beginning, are they still with you or do you find the people more come and go as their grief sort of, you know, ebbs and and flows? And how does that, you know, or do you have solid core people who are just love the events and kind of come up every time? like what Yeah, that's a great question. So I am I definitely have repeat folks. And um because events are really hard to kind of measure exactly what success is I decided early on that my success is that one person each event, at least one person returns and one person is a new person who wants to return in the future.
00:10:51
Speaker
So that's like my metrics of success. And I've been able to do that over the 10 events that we've that we've been part of. And um so we do have folks who return and then I have folks who say, oh gosh, I can't make this one. i can't wait for the next one.
00:11:07
Speaker
And then we have a lot of folks who end up hearing word of mouth and they bring someone along or they, you know, someone has even heard about it. It's not. their demographic, they're they're not grievers, but they want to share it with a friend who um who is in that boat and, you know, would find solace there. So, yeah, we've had a lot of different people, but I would say over, you know, 400, 500 people have have heard about it at this point. um Wow. so So each of our events have a lot of new folks as well.
00:11:43
Speaker
That's amazing. um And do you, is there an online component of it? So like, and you know, and and like the the people that come to each event, do they sort of get to stay in touch with you and with each other? Like when? yeah Great question. So um i am very much interested in um the in-person events and I um allow kind of those events to stand alone. I am actually part of and do some work with um the organization called The Dinner Party, where folks come together in grief um groups, in essence, and um their peer groups. And those ones are ones that like are longevity type groups.
00:12:26
Speaker
ah relationships. And I really do love that. But Death of the Party, I really want it to be um very much what I am building, at least, that people can come to one. And if it's for them, it's great. If it's not, that's okay, too. And Also, because the events are so different from each other and different, we do different activities. Like I've done a tour of a museum that was a grief, um a grief theme. We've done a somatic workshop. We've done a showcase of, of different um talent around ah grief stories and things like that. So all of them are so different that I want different things to speak to different people and that
00:13:11
Speaker
I think that it can you know a moment in time can be really impact for someone's grief journey um so that they don't have to you know always be part
Role of Community in Grief Support
00:13:20
Speaker
of this community. There are so many beautiful grief communities out there um that i want you know i I send people to those if they're looking for something more long-term. And of course, people can can become friends from from some of the events. And that I sure have met some folks who i do keep in touch personally with.
00:13:38
Speaker
Yeah. So it's so it's um to death of a party or of the party is and it's not online. It's it's you're very much like passionate about it being in person and it gathering just whoever wants to come, you know, kind of like a stand comedy kind of like just visually kind of getting people to understand that. So they just come along. Whereas the dinner party you just mentioned, that is um like a chosen group of people who are who are going to sort of connect over dinner, over multiple dinners. Is that in person, not online?
00:14:11
Speaker
oh Absolutely. Yeah. And that is also like based in grief um for a specific age group. The the dinner party was originally around. um also physical tables, but then during the pandemic, they moved into a virtual space, and now it's both. ah So some groups meet in person, some creep groups meet virtually. Like, I have a group that I run that I do meet virtually, um whereas I also am part of an in-person one. So those ones are very much like we just get together and and have a dinner and a conversation together, whereas...
00:14:52
Speaker
Death of the party events are very much like you're going out to do something um specific. You're not going to go there to specifically meet the same group of people each time. Yeah. Yeah. Got It's more like it's a little networking almost like or a not he speed dating. But I have been to one or two those, you know, around Valentine's many years ago where it's like I have a Juliet and somebody have to find my Romeo. Yeah. Okay, so, and im just out of curiosity, and and then I want to move on to sort of what that's evolved into, but yeah um do you, at either of these event things, is there counselors, like grief counselors or therapists there, or, um you know, is is that something that you're kind of, you promote you don't do or do do, or yeah, just a bit about that.
00:15:38
Speaker
Yes. So it's a great, that's a great question. Um, I truly believe in therapy and I think that it's super important. I know for me, um, beyond being in therapy, which I have been for my grief at different times of my life, um,
00:15:53
Speaker
Just even having community and having like-minded individuals and and people kind of having that experience, actually creating that community has been a really important part of my grief journey.
00:16:05
Speaker
So i I specifically tell people that it is not grief therapy because they don't want folks to come there thinking that they're going to have practitioners there. they do actually have practitioners sometimes come and I do talk with practitioners who end up, you know, sharing, know,
00:16:23
Speaker
death of the party with folks because they're like, here's another way that you can um honor your grief and do it in community as opposed to um only just having that one-on-one or even like a group therapy type of of um space. You know, both of those are really beautiful opportunities. um But this is just for people to...
00:16:48
Speaker
come together and yeah and realize that it's a human experience that yeah isn't going to be solved. um And that's OK. Yeah, no, absolutely. and No, because I know it's ah it's a among the funeral space. and it's ah It's an
Services Offered by Life and Soul
00:17:04
Speaker
interesting topic. And I know some people are sort of very emphatic that professionals and and therapists and stuff and, um you know, but coming from Ireland, the country that I come from, community is so important and whether that's your neighbours, your friends, your family, your colleagues. um I do think professional spaces are wonderful but you know sometimes people A can't afford it or just don't have the time or the travel or whatever to get to a professional space.
00:17:32
Speaker
So educating the community in grief to be able to support each other in times of of crisis I think is so important as well so it's great. So tell me a little bit about how this evolved and what is life and soul?
00:17:46
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. So throughout the year and a half that I've already been working on Death of the Party and having those events, um I have been thinking about how else I can show up in the grief space and being grievers being my first priority when it comes to kind of who I am looking to serve.
00:18:08
Speaker
And so i in within my exploration, i actually learned about celebrancy. I had originally said to i someone who I know who who does do actually wedding celebrancy, I said, wow, I wish I could do this, but I'm not spiritual because I don't consider myself spiritual. And she helped me realize that that isn't something that I have to be in order to show the impact and importance that ceremony can be, especially for for grievers. So i went through a celebrancy program um and was like, wow, okay, ceremony is impactful and I could definitely make a difference with that.
00:18:50
Speaker
And then on top of that, though, I am a project manager by day. So I was really thinking about like what else besides the events space and ceremony space can I also impact Grievers on and kind of was looking for what is a holistic opportunity that I can share. So then from...
00:19:12
Speaker
From celebrancy, then I started learning about what afterloss services are and then folks who are helping um other folks but because do their end of life planning.
00:19:24
Speaker
So I also went into um some training on the afterloss services piece. And I was like, okay, now I have like all of these different things that I've now learned that I can do for folks.
00:19:38
Speaker
um What do I do with this? So then I decided to create Life and Soul. And I really see um Life and Soul as kind of Once again, a holistic way for to help grievers after a big loss. So I see it from, you know, that moment that they may end up having a ceremony because a lot of people, you know, still have a funeral either, well, I would say right after someone's death.
00:20:06
Speaker
um But I am very open to and actually want to start in encouraging folks to think about how they can have different events throughout their time through grief because don't think that it just suddenly ends. And I i did a really amazing commemoration for my father of um after his fifth year death anniversary. And that you know was extremely different than what a funeral after two year two weeks of of his death looked like. um And then, you know, helping folks with the logistics of after-loss services. So that's basically being a project manager and coaching someone through the things that they need to tick off in the logistical way and tactical way to help close out at a legacy in a state. And I don't see myself as someone who is who is instead of a lawyer or a financial planner,
00:21:01
Speaker
Instead, i see that I'm kind of the person who helps with those details and make sure that those folks are going to be able to work with someone that they can trust um from my network, as well as kind of helping make sure that things don't fall through the cracks.
00:21:18
Speaker
And then on top of that, because grievers will see how much work that is, um then they can also do their end of life planning so that they can leave a bit of a gift for their folks who will have to do the same after they die.
00:21:37
Speaker
Okay, very good. So, okay, so Life and Soul is, so you're a celebrant. Yes. but also sort of a consultant that somebody can kind of pick up the phone, tell you what the story is and such and such has passed. And you sort of a human to-do list as to, you know, okay, now we have to, you know, have you had the service? Maybe they contact you after the service has already happened. and So now it's sort of, it's like a, I mean, I joke that I'm a walking, talking reminder app when I'm creating a memorial with somebody, but you're nearly,
00:22:12
Speaker
a walking talking reminder app um for a longer period so sort of okay yeah and and for you know i am happy to serve folks either you know the day after someone dies you know to help them walk through what they need to do for the next steps or it can be you know months after someone dies and they're still like wow i i have all this work to do and state um you know executive for dummy didn't work for me. or Or how long, like the clients you've either had or currently have, do you have, um like, do you find that some of them are with you for a month or a week or six months or like what's your general...
00:22:56
Speaker
you know Yeah. So im I am still starting my up and running, but I do work, like I do know a lot of ah other after loss services professionals who, you know, will see clients for, you know, they might just be able to help them for a month and they need a couple of times and that client is able to then kind of figure it out on their own. They have other folks in their life who they might be able to to work with on. And then other people end up being with, you know, working with an afterloss professional for, you know, six months or a year or something like that. And it would, it's really case to case kind of based on each person's personal opportunities, but each person
00:23:40
Speaker
person would get a personalized plan, timeline, advice on on the steps, you know, one-on-one support meetings through that process, um as well as, like, referrals to those professionals, those other professionals that um could can help them in different areas, including, like, even estate cleanouts and, like,
00:24:04
Speaker
And selling houses and things like that. So yeah really making sure that whatever a client is looking for, that um either I can help them with it or I can at least put them in touch with another professional that can do that.
Customization and Future Plans
00:24:19
Speaker
Okay. And yeah, because so many people don't realize how much, how much it's it's mind boggling actually how we as a society don't address or talk about how much work and how much logistics happen around the time of death.
00:24:38
Speaker
I'm going to say around time of death because it depends on if the person is dying, actively dying, or if it's, you know, if it's passed in their sleep. it's it's It's that whole time around it that there's just so much overwhelm and everything to do. And how do you, if you feel comfortable talking about it, how do you price your services or like from whether it's the event series all the way through to these after loss services, if you want to judge that?
00:25:05
Speaker
Yep. So um the afterloss services as well as end of life planning. And I mean, I would say actually all of them are pretty customized, like depending on what we're looking at. Right. So if I'm working on a death of the party event, um if I'm doing it with a partner and they say, OK, you know, we're doing all of the marketing, we're doing this, that and the other thing. yeah.
00:25:33
Speaker
we want you to come in and do something with your typewriters or do you something, you know, um do a ah talk or something like that, then that would obviously be less expensive than if you know, i was I was doing something all on my own. But a lot of the events, I mean, I haven't,
00:25:50
Speaker
made a ton of money on the events at this point because they really come out of the the passionate side of me and and wanting to see kind of how it works. But it has been, i have been able to um at least, you know,
00:26:04
Speaker
get some feedback and opportunity and money for the events, which has been really lovely. um And then with the professional side, um so for Celebrancy as well as After Loss and ah um End of Life, those are package-based, but also...
00:26:25
Speaker
can be personalized based off of what someone's looking for. So once again, if if I'm doing a funeral, um that might be one price. But then if someone were to say like, you know, additionally, we would like to do um ashes scattering ceremony or something like that, you know, then then it would be something else on top of that.
00:26:48
Speaker
Okay. Okay. And all of these and prices and things are available on your web website. You do have a website, right? Yes, I do have a website, but I don't have prices out because it is a I would love to talk to folks beforehand so that I can you know make sure that we're looking at this we're looking at their needs holistically before they decide, like, yes, this works for me or no, it doesn't.
00:27:12
Speaker
Gotcha. OK, so it's a cut it's a price. It's a case by case basis. Yeah. For the afterloss stuff. OK. OK, very good. and Well, yeah, definitely check out the website. and Just as a question, do you guys, and are you specifically, um I don't say targeting is the wrong word, but are you specifically for the LGBTQ plus community she or it doesn't matter? It is a queer owned and operated business, one one person at this point. um But I do offer services to all. I am happy to work with anyone, um but I definitely want my LGBTQ community to know that we are a queer business. Okay, very good. Well, thank you so much for all this information. station We will leave all the links and all the good stuff and down below and and hopefully people will reach out if they have any questions or anything or want to join your parties. Let us know definitely when the next one is and we will um either try and attend or... um Between the travels between Florida and New York, I'm not sure I can, but we'll definitely see what we can do. And, you know, you never know, maybe we could do a death of the party down in Florida too.
00:28:18
Speaker
yeah But yeah, we're happy to we're happy to help. and And yeah, we wish you the best of luck. I mean, it's six weeks old, so maybe we'll have you back in season six or seven and you can tell us how it's grown. so Yeah, that would be awesome. Brilliant. Well, thank you so much for joining us, Eleni.
00:28:35
Speaker
Thank you.