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Unseen and Unscripted: The Real Lives of Mormon Wives with Sydney Tracy
7 Plays4 months ago
In this (part 2 of 2) episode of The Glam Reaper Podcast, Jennifer Muldowney reconnects with Sydney Tracy to continue their powerful conversation (Glam Reaper in the Wild Series!) at the annual conference of IAOPCC (International Association Of Pet Cemeteries & Crematories). This part focuses on the intriguing unseen lives of Latter-day Saint women. They dive into themes of faith, culture, and the layers of Sydney’s beliefs, inviting you to look past the stereotypes and see the deeper stories that often go untold.
Jennifer and Sydney talk openly about the portrayal of Mormon women in reality TV, touching on shows like Hulu's "Mom Talk," and how these narratives can shape misunderstandings.
Sydney offers her perspective on modesty, church traditions, and the deeply rooted cultural and spiritual values of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Through her reflections, she helps bridge gaps in understanding, sharing insights into the church’s history and dispelling myths with a message of love and acceptance.
Join them for a heartfelt conversation on faith, culture, and the shared journey through life’s ups and downs.
Key Topics:
-Exploring faith and culture with an open heart
-Breaking down misunderstandings around beliefs
-Honest reflections on how Mormon women are seen
-Embracing love and acceptance in all differences
-Finding strength through life’s shared struggles
Quotes from the episode:
“If crying is what you need to do, then do it.”
-Sydney Tracy
“I like to think the universe puts things in a certain way for me”
-Jennifer Muldowney
Timestamp:
[00:00] Podcast Intro
[00:17] Sydney opens up about how cultural perspectives shape the way people view the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS).
[06:01] Jennifer and Sydney share genuine concerns about how reality TV tends to portray the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
[12:41] Sydney thoughtfully shares her beliefs, highlighting the importance of understanding the true values behind the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
[18:26] With clarity and care, Sydney explains the Church’s belief in the plan of salvation.
[25:45] Jennifer and Sydney reflect together on the profound nature of grief.
[31:56] Wrapping up, Jennifer and Sydney encourage listeners to stay curious, approach life with an open heart, and find joy in the everyday journeys and challenges.
[33:53] Outro
Connect with Sydney Tracy:
Website - https://pawprintsonwoodland.com/about
Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/sydney.r.tracy/?locale=ms_MY
Connect with Jennifer/The Glam Reaper on socials at:
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/jennifermuldowney/
TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@therealglamreaper
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@TheGlamReaperMuldowney
LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifermuldowney/
Facebook Page - Memorials
https://www.facebook.com/MuldowneyMemorials/
Email us - glamreaperpodcast@gmail.com
Shop Merch - https://the-glam-reaper.printify.me/products
Listen to The Glam Reaper Podcast on Apple Podcasts:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-glam-reaper-podcast/id1572382989?i=1000525524145
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Transcript
Opening Thoughts on Care and Kindness
00:00:00
Speaker
It is not our job to turn people away.
00:00:02
Speaker
It's not our job to condemn people.
00:00:04
Speaker
It's not our job to hate people.
00:00:06
Speaker
And I think everyone deserves to be cared about.
00:00:11
Speaker
Everyone deserves to be, their voices deserve to be heard.
00:00:14
Speaker
Yeah.
Big City Noise Realities
00:00:28
Speaker
Now, I am going to touch on something a little bit controversial that you mentioned at the start.
00:00:34
Speaker
I see her from Utah.
00:00:36
Speaker
Well, not from there, but... Oh, sorry.
00:00:38
Speaker
Moved there.
00:00:39
Speaker
Also, I'm not sure if you can hear the ambulance.
00:00:41
Speaker
Hopefully not.
00:00:42
Speaker
I swear I thought I left New York, but apparently the ambulances are still following me.
00:00:45
Speaker
Oh, and the traffic here.
00:00:46
Speaker
Unreal.
00:00:46
Speaker
I've never been to Boston.
00:00:48
Speaker
It's like, how did they get through the traffic?
00:00:50
Speaker
I don't know.
00:00:51
Speaker
If it were me, I'd be so concerned.
00:00:52
Speaker
New York is 20 times worse.
00:00:53
Speaker
My person's going to pass away before I can get there because of the traffic.
00:00:56
Speaker
New York is 20 times worse and that's the thing when the sirens go off I'm like god damn it shut up but then I'm like oh my god that's somebody probably dying oh god Jen like let's take it on foot just throw the backpack on and just like make it on foot I mean I have literally gotten out of cabs because I'm like I could walk faster like that's it so yeah I probably if I was in the back of the episode like right mom let's go we're going I'm hiking you to the hospital and but yeah I do want to touch on and this is I'm I'm mortified that I'm saying this but
00:01:23
Speaker
There's obviously a big show happening on Hulu at the moment.
Guilty Pleasures of Reality TV Shows
00:01:26
Speaker
What is called?
00:01:27
Speaker
The.
00:01:28
Speaker
Oh, God.
00:01:29
Speaker
The.
00:01:29
Speaker
Mormon women or.
00:01:30
Speaker
Mormon women or.
00:01:31
Speaker
I don't know.
00:01:32
Speaker
I know it's mom talk.
00:01:33
Speaker
That's.
00:01:34
Speaker
I mean, mom talk.
00:01:35
Speaker
You're Mormon.
00:01:36
Speaker
I am.
00:01:36
Speaker
Yes.
00:01:36
Speaker
Tell me.
00:01:37
Speaker
I've only watched two episodes.
00:01:38
Speaker
Honestly, I was.
00:01:39
Speaker
Couldn't stand it.
00:01:40
Speaker
And I just.
00:01:41
Speaker
I mean, I'm not a reality TV person anyway.
00:01:43
Speaker
I'm feeling grateful for that, actually, that you said that.
00:01:44
Speaker
I'm like, oh, Jen, thank you.
00:01:45
Speaker
Yes.
00:01:45
Speaker
No, I'm not into reality TV at all anyway.
00:01:48
Speaker
There is two shows I watch, honestly.
00:01:50
Speaker
I will.
00:01:51
Speaker
Selling Sunset.
00:01:51
Speaker
And I know it's ridiculous, but I just love seeing the big houses.
00:01:54
Speaker
Wouldn't that be so great if you had that kind of money?
00:01:56
Speaker
That's the thing.
00:01:56
Speaker
I'm just like, oh, let me just live my life for this for a minute.
00:01:59
Speaker
And then I also watch Made in Chelsea, which is a UK, the wealthy people in the UK.
00:02:04
Speaker
Okay.
00:02:04
Speaker
So whatever.
Reality TV vs. LDS Church Portrayals
00:02:05
Speaker
It's a little bit of, yeah, clearly it's money.
00:02:07
Speaker
But I did watch this Mormon show and this, what is her name?
00:02:11
Speaker
Paul something, Taylor Paul, something like that anyway.
00:02:13
Speaker
Is any of it real?
00:02:14
Speaker
So I haven't watched it.
00:02:16
Speaker
Okay.
00:02:16
Speaker
I haven't watched it.
00:02:18
Speaker
I've seen some people post about it.
00:02:21
Speaker
Right off the bat, I can tell you.
00:02:23
Speaker
So, you know, you've got these pictures of these women.
00:02:26
Speaker
Yeah.
00:02:26
Speaker
Gorgeous women.
00:02:27
Speaker
Right.
00:02:28
Speaker
Right.
00:02:28
Speaker
I mean, they're beautiful.
00:02:29
Speaker
Yeah.
00:02:29
Speaker
Yeah, they're beautiful.
00:02:30
Speaker
And, you know, I've seen an ad where they're all holding hands and they're all wearing the same outfit and they're walking in front of one of the temples.
00:02:38
Speaker
Yeah.
00:02:39
Speaker
And which would give the appearance that we're a cult.
00:02:42
Speaker
It does a bit.
00:02:43
Speaker
And then I've seen another one where they're all wearing these beautiful white dresses, not super modest as far as what we would call modesty in the church.
00:02:51
Speaker
And just so you know, because I just have to point this out, we don't call ourselves LDS or Mormon.
00:02:56
Speaker
We were LDS.
00:02:57
Speaker
You know, we did use the shorter version LDS, but the church has kind of asked us to move to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, just so you know.
00:03:05
Speaker
which is a LDS and Mormon.
00:03:07
Speaker
I mean, I totally get it.
00:03:09
Speaker
I can always tell someone says Mormon.
00:03:10
Speaker
I'm like, yeah, let me, let me like make this opportunity.
00:03:13
Speaker
Yeah.
00:03:14
Speaker
To educate.
00:03:14
Speaker
No, I listen.
00:03:16
Speaker
I'm always like, you need to come to things with curiosity and an open mind.
00:03:19
Speaker
I don't know everything about everything.
00:03:21
Speaker
So like we were just chatting, my husband and I were just chatting as we walked around Boston about all of the different churches that are here.
Curiosity in Religious Exploration
00:03:28
Speaker
And we were kind of talking and I said, I said, Oh my gosh.
00:03:31
Speaker
I'm like one of the churches that we saw here in Boston.
00:03:33
Speaker
It's their hundred years.
00:03:35
Speaker
since that church has been there it's a beautiful church wow and i said oh they're having mass i was like wouldn't that be neat to just come to the mass to just see yeah you know it's a big celebration and i i said have you lived into a mass and because i've not been to one and and he has and so we were just kind of talking about it but but it should be like that like that's the thing religion shouldn't be like well yeah like you don't have to be a certain religion
00:03:56
Speaker
to a tent.
00:03:57
Speaker
There should be some gray areas.
00:03:59
Speaker
You need to be able to, I feel like, you need to be able to be curious about other things in order to choose something.
00:04:04
Speaker
Like I might, this is gonna sound really basic, but like, you know, there's dark chocolate, white chocolate, and milk chocolate.
00:04:09
Speaker
I've tasted all three.
00:04:11
Speaker
My preference is dark chocolate because I know I'll eat a million tons of milk chocolate.
00:04:15
Speaker
White chocolate, I just don't like.
00:04:16
Speaker
But I'm curious about all three.
00:04:17
Speaker
I know.
00:04:17
Speaker
I'm not a fan.
00:04:18
Speaker
You know, and the same thing.
00:04:20
Speaker
When my mom and I went to Mackinac Island, which if you've never been there, totally go.
00:04:24
Speaker
It's amazing.
00:04:25
Speaker
Up in northern Michigan.
00:04:27
Speaker
Yeah, it's beautiful.
00:04:27
Speaker
Another book.
00:04:28
Speaker
We went to the Rock Church, which I think is one of the older churches on the island.
00:04:33
Speaker
not our regular, you know, not what we would normally attend.
00:04:38
Speaker
But there was no LDS church on the island.
00:04:39
Speaker
And we just thought, well, let's just go.
00:04:41
Speaker
You know, as soon as I, I mean, it had beautiful windows and the service was beautiful.
00:04:45
Speaker
I mean, I loved what he, what he was talking about.
00:04:49
Speaker
You know, I think it was on Paul, but it was just a neat, it's just neat to go.
00:04:52
Speaker
And then, and then a woman saying, and it was just really, it was just a really nice service.
00:04:56
Speaker
And then of course they had refreshments after and they were like, always both.
00:04:59
Speaker
And I was like, actually we're getting lunch at the grand, but thank you so much.
00:05:03
Speaker
I always stay with the refreshments.
00:05:05
Speaker
So that other picture that I've seen, which, you know, they're all dressed in these beautiful white dresses.
00:05:10
Speaker
And I saw that someone had commented on Facebook, you know, people realize that we don't dress like that.
00:05:15
Speaker
Right.
00:05:15
Speaker
You know, and that just has to do with our belief.
00:05:17
Speaker
Yeah.
00:05:18
Speaker
You know, it could, I could say a lot of things, you know, we, and again,
00:05:23
Speaker
It's so interesting because the doctrine, we really just want the best for everyone,
Media Misrepresentation of the LDS Church
00:05:28
Speaker
you know?
00:05:28
Speaker
And so it's like, well, when you're dressing, you know, with really short skirts or really low tops, you're going to attract the attention of men.
00:05:35
Speaker
And maybe you don't want that attention.
00:05:37
Speaker
You know, I mean, you can be beautiful without hearing something that's really good dealing.
00:05:41
Speaker
You know, I mean, I think a lot of times women feel maybe like they've got to dress a certain way to be considered beautiful and to have men look at them.
00:05:49
Speaker
It's like, if that's the kind of men that's,
00:05:52
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know.
00:05:53
Speaker
We're kind of getting into like a different topic.
00:05:55
Speaker
So maybe this will be a whole other.
00:05:56
Speaker
Yeah, a whole other podcast.
00:05:58
Speaker
Our next convention.
00:05:58
Speaker
But yeah, you know, so like that modesty thing.
00:06:01
Speaker
Yeah.
00:06:01
Speaker
A lot of people know that we have a special garment that we wear the garment of the priesthood, which I think you can, you know, look up some.
00:06:08
Speaker
And that has to do with our our promises that we make in the temple.
00:06:12
Speaker
And you're supposed to wear it every day.
00:06:14
Speaker
Oh, wow.
00:06:14
Speaker
You know, you're supposed to have it.
00:06:15
Speaker
You're supposed to wear it all the time.
00:06:17
Speaker
It has special meaning to us.
00:06:18
Speaker
There's symbols in the garment that relate to all of the things.
00:06:23
Speaker
And so those kinds of dresses would not cover those.
00:06:26
Speaker
So people
00:06:27
Speaker
are like, you know, we don't wear those.
00:06:28
Speaker
So it's really unfortunate to me and I feel like sad that we have that kind of a show out there because it's not a true depiction of what the church believes.
00:06:40
Speaker
And a lot of times when people turn away from the church, it usually has to do with the people and not the doctors.
Core LDS Beliefs of Love and Kindness
00:06:46
Speaker
Right, okay.
00:06:46
Speaker
You know, some people really struggle with Joseph Smith and that he was 14 when he had the first vision and think, oh, he was a child, you know, how could he have seen that?
00:06:56
Speaker
And it's interesting because I've never questioned Joseph Smith.
00:06:59
Speaker
I feel like if you were to really research it and see what his family went through because of what he was thinking,
00:07:05
Speaker
he was saying to people because of what he was telling people.
00:07:09
Speaker
You know, he was tarred and feathered.
00:07:11
Speaker
He was in prison.
00:07:12
Speaker
He was eventually, you know, he was killed for his beliefs.
00:07:16
Speaker
And Emma, his wife, she went through a lot.
00:07:18
Speaker
Now, Emma did kind of stray from the church.
00:07:21
Speaker
But I mean, they lost children.
00:07:23
Speaker
They really, there was a struggle there for them.
00:07:26
Speaker
And I can't believe that someone would go through that without really believing.
00:07:30
Speaker
But I think it's true.
00:07:32
Speaker
So I've never questioned, but there are some people that have.
00:07:35
Speaker
But as we were talking a little bit earlier, before we started recording, the whole premise of the church is to be Christ-like, to have the attributes that Christ had.
00:07:48
Speaker
to be charitable, to be kind.
00:07:50
Speaker
It is, you know, it is not our job.
00:07:53
Speaker
And it's really unfortunate because I feel like sometimes the LDS church is one of the most judgmental churches.
00:07:59
Speaker
Even myself sometimes, like we, you know, it's like no one cared.
00:08:04
Speaker
No one should care.
00:08:05
Speaker
And you shouldn't feel that way.
00:08:06
Speaker
But sometimes, I mean, people just are just judgmental or they watch people and they, it's just the way it is.
00:08:12
Speaker
Yeah.
00:08:12
Speaker
But it is not our job to turn people away.
00:08:15
Speaker
It's not our job to condemn people.
00:08:17
Speaker
It's not our job to hate people.
00:08:19
Speaker
And I think everyone deserves to be cared about.
00:08:23
Speaker
Everyone deserves to be their voices deserve to be heard.
00:08:26
Speaker
Yeah.
00:08:27
Speaker
And.
00:08:27
Speaker
When the Savior was here, if you look at his life, he spent time with the sinners.
00:08:33
Speaker
He didn't spend time with the righteous.
00:08:35
Speaker
He spent time with the sinners.
00:08:36
Speaker
He loved everyone.
00:08:38
Speaker
He didn't, you know, and when people kind of pushed back at him, he just turned the other cheek.
00:08:42
Speaker
There was no, you know, he, he was all about that, that love, that Christlike love.
00:08:47
Speaker
That is what the church is about.
00:08:49
Speaker
Yeah.
00:08:49
Speaker
Christlike love.
00:08:50
Speaker
And somehow it kind of gets turned into something else.
00:08:53
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, they're very much, they're trying to create a reality TV show out of, you know, and it's the drama and stuff.
00:09:01
Speaker
The premise of it, it was what, like women are supposed to be used?
00:09:05
Speaker
Yes, it was mom talk and it was sort of that she started it because she was bored at home or something, I think.
00:09:12
Speaker
And then I think there was threesomes involved and then there was all sorts of...
00:09:16
Speaker
Yeah, there was all sorts.
00:09:18
Speaker
And I literally only know a touch of it.
00:09:20
Speaker
I really don't know a whole lot about it.
00:09:22
Speaker
But there was, yeah, it was kind of, they were doing these sexy dances.
00:09:25
Speaker
But then there was a lot of lies.
00:09:27
Speaker
Like I think one of the main girls said that the two daughters were her two twins and that she was actually 50 when she's only in her 20s.
00:09:34
Speaker
So there was a lot of misceptions and stuff.
00:09:36
Speaker
But what I think is interesting, I mean, the fact that there's a reality TV show out of it does not shock me because I feel like TV is garbage nowadays.
00:09:43
Speaker
So we'll make anything out of anything.
00:09:45
Speaker
make money absolutely but i think what's kind of sad or what i found watching the two episodes was a it was just silly nonsense honestly but i also found like i was raised catholic and you know i don't go to church anymore but i have my beliefs i go to saint patrick's cathedral you know sometimes and i i do my thing but similar like no judgment which everyone
00:10:04
Speaker
Everyone should be able to worship how they feel.
00:10:07
Speaker
Or if they don't want to worship, that's okay.
00:10:09
Speaker
Or if they don't believe that there's a God, that's okay too.
00:10:13
Speaker
I feel like, it's like we were saying, we have lots of friends that don't believe the same things as us.
00:10:19
Speaker
And that's okay.
Women's Evolving Roles in LDS Church
00:10:21
Speaker
Some of those people are some of my favorite people.
00:10:23
Speaker
And it's what makes, honestly, conversation interesting.
00:10:26
Speaker
Right.
00:10:26
Speaker
You know, if you can't have a little spur about like religion or politics and stuff like that.
00:10:31
Speaker
It's the reason why they say when you're drinking to stay away from religion and politics is because people get really like angry and very like, this is what I believe.
00:10:41
Speaker
Whereas I'm like, I mean, even in class yesterday when that guy spoke up and I said, OK, I don't agree with you.
00:10:47
Speaker
But that's okay.
00:10:47
Speaker
Right.
00:10:47
Speaker
That's okay.
00:10:48
Speaker
That's okay.
00:10:49
Speaker
I don't agree with you, but that's okay.
00:10:50
Speaker
And then we continue the conversation later.
00:10:52
Speaker
Yeah.
00:10:53
Speaker
Again, hearing people's perspectives.
00:10:54
Speaker
Yeah.
00:10:55
Speaker
Everyone deserves to have a voice.
00:10:56
Speaker
But yeah, so continue.
00:10:57
Speaker
Yeah.
00:10:58
Speaker
But yeah, but so I just feel like this show has turned, you know, it took us and it turned it into a reality TV show to make money or whatever, but it has turned into with pitting women against each other, both physically, mentally, and also to be honest, you know, and the Mormon church, you know, again, apologies.
00:11:16
Speaker
Right.
00:11:16
Speaker
But the long name, I am not going to remember.
00:11:19
Speaker
And I feel like I'm going to get the acronym wrong and say something else, which is also bad.
00:11:23
Speaker
But, you know, there's rules.
00:11:25
Speaker
And, you know, a bit like in the Catholic Church where you weren't allowed to be cremated.
00:11:29
Speaker
Then all of a sudden you were.
00:11:30
Speaker
That was kind of the thing with the LDS.
00:11:32
Speaker
churches as well because we believe you know we want to keep the body as whole and then yeah and then cremated remains had to remain whole and right so you know all all of these things you know it is evolving and society's changing and you know people do think that religion is responsible for a lot of problems and wars like that and i can i can understand that and i can see that as well but i just feel like
00:11:54
Speaker
What they did in this particular scenario is highlighting, you know, pitching women against each other, but it's also just kind of making a mockery because it's like, you know, there's one scene where they snuck alcohol into the, one of them snuck alcohol into like a hot tub and that's against women.
Alcohol and Societal Influence on LDS Practices
00:12:10
Speaker
Right.
00:12:10
Speaker
We just don't drink.
00:12:11
Speaker
Yeah.
00:12:11
Speaker
But it's not because we think there's anything wrong with it.
00:12:14
Speaker
We just don't like the frame of mind that it puts us in.
00:12:18
Speaker
Yeah.
00:12:19
Speaker
But the interesting thing I just found was that it's sort of like, and I guess maybe I'm probably a bit more sensitive as well, because coming from Ireland, we were very much ruled by the church.
00:12:29
Speaker
Sure.
00:12:29
Speaker
And, you know, women were thrown into the Magdalene laundries, you know, a woman who had sex.
00:12:35
Speaker
The man never had anything, but we were thrown into these places, locked up, and our babies ripped from us.
00:12:41
Speaker
Us, I'm saying.
00:12:42
Speaker
So I'm probably hypersensitive to it, but yeah, I just really didn't like the premise of the show.
00:12:47
Speaker
I just felt like it's making a mockery of the religion.
00:12:50
Speaker
It's making a mockery of these women.
00:12:52
Speaker
I'm sure they're making a fortune from it.
00:12:54
Speaker
Yeah, I just...
00:12:55
Speaker
Right.
00:12:55
Speaker
And I'm no expert.
00:12:56
Speaker
I'll say that.
00:12:57
Speaker
I'm no expert.
00:12:58
Speaker
I mean, I've been a member my whole life.
00:13:00
Speaker
And I do.
00:13:01
Speaker
I have a firm belief in the church.
00:13:04
Speaker
And that is part of who I am.
00:13:08
Speaker
So again, I'm not a church historian.
00:13:11
Speaker
And as people said on some of these Facebook posts, if you have questions, you can go to the website of the church.
00:13:17
Speaker
If you type in lps.org, it'll take you to the church.
00:13:20
Speaker
And you can ask questions there.
00:13:22
Speaker
That's it.
00:13:22
Speaker
Be curious.
00:13:22
Speaker
You can do the reading.
00:13:23
Speaker
Yeah.
00:13:24
Speaker
I'm sure it's the same with the Catholic Church and anything else if you wanted to.
00:13:28
Speaker
But from what I've gathered, what they're highlighting is that women are supposed to be in the home.
00:13:34
Speaker
They're supposed to just be making babies and they're supposed to be homemakers.
00:13:37
Speaker
And a lot of LDS moms are stay-at-home moms.
00:13:41
Speaker
Not all of them, of course, but there are some of them.
00:13:43
Speaker
You know, I was a stay-at-home mom before, and then I do homeschool my children.
00:13:47
Speaker
But, you know, that's just my own personal choice.
00:13:49
Speaker
And now, back when the church began, when the restoration of the church began, so Joseph Smith's time in the end of the 1800s, there was polygamy because they needed to expand the number of members.
00:14:03
Speaker
okay well polygamy is not you know we don't we frown on polygamy now but at that time I even had to answer a question on my green card application yes but at the time they needed it and then of course women were homemakers at the time and I
00:14:18
Speaker
as they were in a lot of other religions or countries where they did, you know, and then of course you have in the United States, at least, you know, as time went on, even in the 30s, the 40s, the 50s, women were still stay at home moms.
00:14:31
Speaker
They did the cooking, the cleaning, the ironing, you know, all of those, those things.
00:14:35
Speaker
And the world has just shifted.
00:14:36
Speaker
Yeah.
00:14:37
Speaker
So I'm not, I'm again, I'm, I've not seen the show and, but I can say this about the church.
00:14:43
Speaker
Some women are highly savored.
00:14:46
Speaker
You know, if you listen to the prophet, if you listen to the apostles, the way they talk about their wives, you know, how much better they make them, you know, how much they cherish their wives.
00:14:56
Speaker
I know my husband does.
00:14:58
Speaker
I'm madam.
00:14:59
Speaker
He's, you know, you know, he sees me as his equal.
00:15:02
Speaker
He does not see me as less than him.
00:15:04
Speaker
And I don't see him as more than me or less than me.
00:15:07
Speaker
We see each other as equals.
00:15:08
Speaker
And
00:15:09
Speaker
And I don't want to toot my own horn, but my husband and I have a really great relationship.
00:15:13
Speaker
Yeah, you can tell.
00:15:14
Speaker
You know, we took work.
00:15:16
Speaker
We had to work at it.
00:15:17
Speaker
Like every relationship.
00:15:18
Speaker
I do love my husband dearly.
00:15:20
Speaker
Two children.
00:15:20
Speaker
And I'm grateful for our marriage.
00:15:22
Speaker
We were married in the Timpanogos temple.
00:15:25
Speaker
And I'm grateful for that every day.
00:15:27
Speaker
You know, but again, that goes back to the doctrines that we believe.
00:15:30
Speaker
I'm grateful that my children will always be with me.
00:15:33
Speaker
I love my children and I go, we're going to get emotional out of something else.
00:15:37
Speaker
You know, but I just, I want that for everyone, that joy.
00:15:40
Speaker
So however they find it, whatever that is, I want that for them because I think everyone should have a relationship with some kind of higher power.
00:15:48
Speaker
Cause again, I don't believe in coincidences.
00:15:49
Speaker
I believe that there is something greater than us, you know, and I may get there to heaven and be like, well, I'm so sorry.
00:15:56
Speaker
All right.
00:15:57
Speaker
You know, my bad.
00:15:58
Speaker
Right.
00:15:58
Speaker
But
00:15:59
Speaker
I can't believe that there's nothing after this.
00:16:02
Speaker
No.
00:16:02
Speaker
Yeah.
00:16:03
Speaker
What's the purpose then?
00:16:05
Speaker
I can't.
00:16:05
Speaker
And tell me, I mean, you know, tell me, have you never had an experience where you've felt some, you felt something?
00:16:13
Speaker
Yeah.
00:16:13
Speaker
There's been some other, and I wouldn't necessarily say it's God per se, but we believe in angels.
00:16:19
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
00:16:19
Speaker
And that they do work here.
00:16:21
Speaker
So those of us who have passed on, you know, so again, we're talking about, you know, again, the relation, because a lot of people believe that, that their pet is that sign, you know, but I know my husband and I, we've experienced...
00:16:35
Speaker
These just feelings, these impressions that someone else is there.
00:16:38
Speaker
Someone else is taking care of us, protecting us, guiding us through this life.
00:16:43
Speaker
And so it's unfortunate that the church is being reflected in that way.
Seeking True LDS Understanding Through Research
00:16:47
Speaker
And I'm not saying the church is perfect.
00:16:49
Speaker
You know, we try to do everything that we can.
00:16:51
Speaker
Again, I would tell someone to go to the doctrine to really see what the church is about, because that's how it should be done.
00:16:56
Speaker
But again, we're all human.
00:16:58
Speaker
And, you know, if we're looking at wards or, you know, if we're trying to break down the church, you know, into the smaller wards or branches, they are overseen by a human.
00:17:08
Speaker
And we do make mistakes.
00:17:10
Speaker
Sometimes, like we've been talking as the classes yesterday, sometimes we don't do well with conflict or we don't do well with our coping mechanism.
00:17:19
Speaker
And that's a struggle for people.
00:17:22
Speaker
Yeah.
00:17:23
Speaker
So I would just tell people, everyone has their choices, but if you have questions about what the LDS church really stands for, to research it yourself, to really see what it's about.
00:17:34
Speaker
And I'm sorry, I really, I've never got the name of it.
00:17:36
Speaker
No, no, no, no, no.
00:17:36
Speaker
I just wanted to specify in the video.
00:17:38
Speaker
No, no, no, no.
00:17:39
Speaker
I want to represent the church.
00:17:41
Speaker
No, 100%.
00:17:41
Speaker
That was really good.
00:17:43
Speaker
And hopefully people get it.
00:17:44
Speaker
This is you calling it LD.
00:17:46
Speaker
So LDS would be like an acronym.
00:17:48
Speaker
LSD is the drug.
00:17:49
Speaker
And I know I'd fuck up and say LSD.
00:17:51
Speaker
And people would be like, what?
00:17:52
Speaker
No, yeah, no, I totally get it.
00:17:54
Speaker
You're capturing all that, aren't you?
00:17:56
Speaker
Oh, yeah, no, it's the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
00:18:00
Speaker
So that's where the LDS came from, Latter-day Saints.
00:18:02
Speaker
They really needed to have just shortened.
00:18:05
Speaker
Well, you know, but like I've heard of the Church of Christ.
00:18:08
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:09
Speaker
Or the Church of Jesus Christ.
00:18:10
Speaker
Okay, they're all the same?
00:18:12
Speaker
No, I don't know.
00:18:13
Speaker
I just heard of some Christian denominations that will, it'll be, yeah, like the Church of Jesus Christ, but we add on of latter things.
00:18:23
Speaker
Okay.
00:18:23
Speaker
Yes, because, so the term Mormon, a lot of people use it comes from.
00:18:27
Speaker
And where did that come from?
00:18:28
Speaker
So it comes from the Book of Mormon.
00:18:30
Speaker
So we have the Bible, the King James Version.
00:18:33
Speaker
And then after the restoration of the church, Joseph Smith was given plates of brass that were recorded on a long time ago by prophets.
00:18:45
Speaker
So he translated that book.
00:18:47
Speaker
And that was something else that people said, well, how could he?
00:18:51
Speaker
He just made it all up.
00:18:52
Speaker
I mean, he just made up this book, which one of the counter arguments is,
00:18:57
Speaker
He was uneducated.
00:18:59
Speaker
Joseph Smith was very uneducated.
00:19:00
Speaker
He could.
00:19:01
Speaker
It said that in conversations that he had with people, he was very quiet or slower to speak because he really wanted to think about what he was saying because he was more people do these days.
00:19:12
Speaker
I know.
00:19:13
Speaker
And so to say that he wrote that would be completely inaccurate because he did not have that ability.
00:19:21
Speaker
For him to be able to match dates and locations, there's no way.
00:19:25
Speaker
It would have taken a very educated group of people to be able to write something like that.
00:19:30
Speaker
So anyways, he translated that book, which we now have as the Book of Mormon.
00:19:35
Speaker
Mormon was one of the prophets that is...
00:19:39
Speaker
that is written of in that book.
00:19:41
Speaker
And so that's where the Mormon comes from because we have this other book and it's the book of Mormon and it is said another Testament of Jesus Christ.
00:19:48
Speaker
So that's where that Mormon term comes from.
00:19:50
Speaker
But you know, I mean, we totally know.
00:19:53
Speaker
I mean, we, when someone says, Oh yeah, I mean, it's like, Oh yeah, we are.
00:19:56
Speaker
Yeah.
00:19:57
Speaker
So it's no big deal.
00:19:57
Speaker
But yeah, that's it.
00:19:58
Speaker
Now tell us, because we've talked about pet laws.
00:20:01
Speaker
So how, what does the church feel about laws of animals and humans?
00:20:06
Speaker
And how do we cope?
00:20:07
Speaker
Yeah.
00:20:08
Speaker
That's the great thing.
00:20:09
Speaker
So in our religion, we believe in the plan of salvation.
00:20:12
Speaker
And I'll tell you about my grandmother in a minute, but in the plan of salvation, we believe that there was a spirit world where we were all together, that we were sent here at a particular time and place.
00:20:24
Speaker
You know, I will constantly say I could have never been a pioneer.
00:20:28
Speaker
You know, because there was a time when the LDS church was persecuted back east, and then they made the long handcart journey to Utah.
00:20:38
Speaker
And that's also a neat history if you'd like to look into that.
00:20:42
Speaker
The Martin Handcart Company is an amazing of saints that we often refer to because they...
00:20:49
Speaker
Frail or their group, their, what am I saying, their hand cart group, they left later in the year.
00:20:57
Speaker
I can't remember why they were delayed.
00:20:59
Speaker
And so they had to cross in the winter.
00:21:02
Speaker
And it talks about the footprints that they left and how little food they had.
00:21:06
Speaker
And then, of course, they had to cross the river.
00:21:08
Speaker
So it's a really neat story if you want to look it up.
00:21:11
Speaker
But they sent men from Zion, which was, would have been Salt Lake City area,
00:21:16
Speaker
to help carry those people across the river because they, they, by that time they were so tired and so weak and they sent these three men to help carry them across the river.
00:21:27
Speaker
So it's just a super neat story.
00:21:29
Speaker
So we believe we were sent here.
LDS Beliefs on Salvation and Afterlife
00:21:31
Speaker
And to receive a body.
00:21:32
Speaker
That's the reason we come.
00:21:34
Speaker
And then, of course, to use our agency to make choices.
00:21:38
Speaker
I mean, because the church, it's important that people know the church still believes that we have our agency.
00:21:43
Speaker
So they say in the premortal world that there were two people who came, two sons that presented a plan.
00:21:50
Speaker
And Satan or Lucifer, as a lot of people refer to it.
00:21:54
Speaker
presented the plan.
00:21:55
Speaker
We're not going to give people their agency.
00:21:58
Speaker
They're just going to make good choices.
00:22:00
Speaker
But he wanted the glory.
00:22:01
Speaker
And then Jesus Christ, he presented and said, we're going to give people agency.
00:22:05
Speaker
We're going to give them a choice to choose.
00:22:08
Speaker
And the glory goes to God.
00:22:10
Speaker
And so Lucifer was cast out and he was mad that they had gone with his plan.
00:22:15
Speaker
So Lucifer or Satan was cast out.
00:22:19
Speaker
And we went to Savior's plan.
00:22:21
Speaker
And so we believe that the Savior knew.
00:22:24
Speaker
I mean, the Lord knows he has everything planned, you know, and this time that we have here on earth is just a little blip.
00:22:30
Speaker
And so in the plan of salvation, we believe that after this life, we will go back to that spirit world and we'll be able to be with our families for eternity.
00:22:39
Speaker
There's a lot of depth to that.
00:22:41
Speaker
One of my favorite quotes, President Uchtdorf, who's one of our leaders, he said, the church is so simple that a child can understand it, which they do, but so vast and deep that it could take us a lifetime to understand.
00:22:58
Speaker
And so it's just kind of a neat concept to think about.
00:23:00
Speaker
You can be a church historian or a scriptorian and study it your whole life, and there's still so much more than you need to learn.
00:23:07
Speaker
So as far as loss goes,
00:23:09
Speaker
We do believe that there's something after this life that we will be reunited with our family.
00:23:14
Speaker
And I do believe that.
00:23:15
Speaker
Now, as far as pets go, there's some controversy there.
00:23:19
Speaker
Some people believe that pets will absolutely be there.
00:23:23
Speaker
And I've heard my aunt say no pets.
00:23:26
Speaker
And then again, we have no idea.
00:23:28
Speaker
We're just kind of going off of...
00:23:30
Speaker
Whatever doctrine there might be out there, which again, this might be something worth researching, you know, and what does the church believe?
00:23:37
Speaker
Because as we talked about with cremation, for a long time, the church didn't, we didn't really agree with cremation.
00:23:45
Speaker
And then the church, the church sort of changed its...
00:23:49
Speaker
It's policy.
00:23:50
Speaker
I don't want to say policy, but kind of how because the world has changed.
00:23:54
Speaker
Funerals are expensive.
00:23:55
Speaker
People are more transient.
00:23:57
Speaker
And people want to cremate.
00:24:00
Speaker
They just, you know, maybe they want to have their family member with them.
00:24:03
Speaker
Or we have a family plot, but it's full.
00:24:06
Speaker
You know, so where we're just going to bury mom somewhere just like out in the cemetery.
00:24:10
Speaker
Yeah.
00:24:11
Speaker
you know it just sort of shifted and so people crummy and again like you were talking in the catholic church do you guys still believe that the ashes have to be all together they they say that yeah but but yes again i this type of services i do as a celebrant i work with a lot of people who are reformed catholics reformed jews what that kind of thing okay like i would probably consider that's me because i don't go to church i don't go to confession you still have your belief i
00:24:36
Speaker
I still have my faith, but like I have cremation jewelry lines.
00:24:40
Speaker
So like, you know, that's taking some of the ashes and splitting it and that sort of thing.
00:24:44
Speaker
So, yeah, as far as I know, the church still believes in kind of keeping it, keeping it all together.
00:24:48
Speaker
But but then each each archbishop of each diocese can make their own.
00:24:53
Speaker
You know, there was there was one who banned eulogies in his funerals in my area, which I disagree with.
00:25:01
Speaker
So again, it's being open and making your own decisions.
00:25:04
Speaker
Okay, I don't agree with that.
00:25:06
Speaker
I'd like to believe there's a God and I like to think the universe puts things in a certain way for me.
00:25:12
Speaker
And when my grandmother passed away, I like to think that she's sitting on my shoulder and looking out for me and stuff like that.
00:25:17
Speaker
So yeah, mine's muddled.
00:25:19
Speaker
Yeah, and that's, I think that's okay.
00:25:22
Speaker
Yeah.
00:25:22
Speaker
I think it's okay to, you know what I mean?
00:25:25
Speaker
I think that's why we're here.
00:25:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:25:27
Speaker
You can make your own religion and bring to different things.
00:25:30
Speaker
Yeah.
00:25:31
Speaker
As long as you're a good and kind person.
00:25:33
Speaker
Right.
00:25:33
Speaker
I wish more, there was more of them.
00:25:35
Speaker
Right, you know what I mean?
00:25:36
Speaker
That's the religion.
00:25:37
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, it's to take, and again, we were talking about what the church is based on.
00:25:42
Speaker
Yeah.
00:25:42
Speaker
How he treated others.
00:25:44
Speaker
Yeah.
00:25:45
Speaker
How he had respect for everyone around him.
00:25:50
Speaker
And he didn't shy away from, you know what I mean, a certain person because of this, or a certain person because of that, or a certain group of people.
00:25:57
Speaker
Yeah.
00:25:57
Speaker
You know, he was with all of them.
00:25:59
Speaker
And so my grandmother, who has had many paths,
00:26:03
Speaker
many dogs, she said, well, if my dogs aren't there, I'm not going.
00:26:09
Speaker
I mean, that's just how she is.
00:26:11
Speaker
And my belief, I believe that they are creatures that were created by the Lord.
00:26:18
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
00:26:19
Speaker
And I think, why wouldn't they be there?
00:26:22
Speaker
They were his creation.
00:26:23
Speaker
I think there's a special place for that in heaven.
00:26:27
Speaker
But I've heard lots of people say, well, just as we were talking about your sweet dogs, I've heard people say, this is the same dog.
00:26:35
Speaker
Just looks different.
00:26:36
Speaker
It's the same dog.
00:26:38
Speaker
And I think...
00:26:39
Speaker
That's awesome.
00:26:40
Speaker
Yeah.
00:26:40
Speaker
You know, if that's what you feel, then go for it.
00:26:44
Speaker
Yeah.
00:26:44
Speaker
You know what I mean?
00:26:45
Speaker
I think everyone has different beliefs and I think that's okay.
00:26:49
Speaker
But as far as the LDS church, as far as mourning and loss, one of my favorite quotes, one of our prophets, when he lost his wife, he said something along the lines of not exactly true, but he said to take the grief out of life is to take the
Embracing Grief as Love
00:27:07
Speaker
love out of it.
00:27:07
Speaker
Mm.
00:27:09
Speaker
And we do believe that life is short.
00:27:12
Speaker
That's actually very powerful.
00:27:15
Speaker
Yeah.
00:27:15
Speaker
I mean, to say that you didn't grieve someone would mean you didn't love them.
00:27:18
Speaker
Love them, yeah.
00:27:19
Speaker
And we live this life with our hearts on our sleeves most of the time.
00:27:23
Speaker
And we love.
00:27:25
Speaker
Even when we try not to, we still love, whether it's our pets, whether it's people, whatever it is.
00:27:30
Speaker
And loss is hard.
00:27:32
Speaker
Loss is hard.
00:27:33
Speaker
And one of my favorite videos is a gal who's talking about her family and the loss that she has suffered.
00:27:40
Speaker
And she had lost several of her children and her husband to a disease.
00:27:45
Speaker
But she talked about in this video how it has given her the ability to help others.
00:27:51
Speaker
And that's how the church is.
00:27:53
Speaker
Yeah.
00:27:53
Speaker
Or at least, you know, that's what the doctrine is.
00:27:56
Speaker
Yeah.
00:27:57
Speaker
It is to reach out to others.
00:27:59
Speaker
And we could easily turn that around to pet loss.
00:28:02
Speaker
You know, I've lost my own pets and it makes me very empathetic.
00:28:05
Speaker
Yeah.
00:28:06
Speaker
People who come into my office and...
00:28:08
Speaker
having the gospel as a background, that kindness, that compassion, that empathy for other people, which is really what the church is about, having those Christ-like attributes.
00:28:19
Speaker
It gives me that little boost to be able to feel that.
00:28:24
Speaker
First, when people came to my office and they cried and they were upset, it was like, I'm so awkward.
00:28:28
Speaker
I don't know what to do.
00:28:30
Speaker
And then as I got used to it, it was like, you know what?
00:28:33
Speaker
If crying is what you need to do, then do it.
00:28:35
Speaker
It's okay to come in here and cry.
00:28:38
Speaker
Yeah.
00:28:38
Speaker
It's okay to be upset.
00:28:40
Speaker
I've had people come into my office and be angry.
00:28:42
Speaker
Not at me.
00:28:43
Speaker
I know it's not.
00:28:44
Speaker
I know it's not.
00:28:44
Speaker
Yeah.
00:28:45
Speaker
I just happen to be the one that they can talk to about it.
00:28:48
Speaker
Or vent to.
00:28:49
Speaker
Sometimes that's all people want.
00:28:50
Speaker
They just want to be able to talk to someone who understands.
00:28:54
Speaker
Yeah.
00:28:55
Speaker
Someone who experiences it all the time.
00:28:57
Speaker
Yeah.
00:28:58
Speaker
You know, and no, I don't deal with grief with humans, but honestly, I feel like sometimes grief with pets is more so because people can say things to hurt you.
00:29:08
Speaker
Now, like I know you have a really great relationship with your parents.
00:29:11
Speaker
Some people don't.
00:29:12
Speaker
I know you have a great relationship with your brother.
00:29:15
Speaker
And so for you to lose one of them, it would be devastating.
00:29:18
Speaker
Yeah.
00:29:19
Speaker
You know, just like for me to lose my mom.
00:29:20
Speaker
Yeah.
00:29:21
Speaker
For many years, I wasn't close with my dad.
00:29:23
Speaker
Had I lost my dad during that time, it would have had a different impact on me.
00:29:28
Speaker
Yeah.
00:29:28
Speaker
Because you can burn bridges.
00:29:30
Speaker
Yeah.
00:29:31
Speaker
People say things that are hopeful.
00:29:32
Speaker
Things that you can't take back.
00:29:34
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
00:29:35
Speaker
And we as humans, we tend to have this, these butting of heads and we, we tend to, to sometimes pull out the worst in each other.
00:29:44
Speaker
And so we, we push apart.
00:29:46
Speaker
So when we have a funeral for someone that we maybe didn't have a great relationship with, it doesn't hit us as hard.
00:29:51
Speaker
Yeah.
00:29:52
Speaker
You know, because like I was saying, the brain.
00:29:54
Speaker
Yeah.
00:29:54
Speaker
If you don't call your sister all the time, if you don't talk to him all the time, you don't you haven't seen him in your daily or monthly ritual.
00:30:00
Speaker
Yeah.
00:30:00
Speaker
Then you still feel the loss, but it's not the
Final Thoughts on Reality Show Insights
00:30:03
Speaker
same.
00:30:03
Speaker
Yeah.
00:30:03
Speaker
It's not the same as losing a child or a spouse or do you know what I'm saying?
00:30:07
Speaker
Yeah.
00:30:07
Speaker
Well, and I think that's a really I think that's a really good note to sort of end up on.
00:30:13
Speaker
I will say this.
00:30:15
Speaker
One, I think, honestly, the show, well, there's this one thing that honestly will just tell you what it's all about in a sense, right?
00:30:22
Speaker
All the girls, as they're interviewed, their name gets put on the thing and it's like, so mine will be Jennifer, yours will be Sydney.
00:30:27
Speaker
The only person who gets a surname is this girl, Jennifer Affleck or Jen Affleck, because she's related to Ben Affleck.
00:30:34
Speaker
that tells you all you need to know about who the show is targeting like they're clearly just planging on to anything right but anyway but I think what is good about these shows and all these things is at least it's it's giving people interest yes so I would agree yeah so I think what we'll wind up on and because I think it's been a really beautiful conversation and thank you for like educating me genuinely um you know because I had questions and you know we talked about it off camera and we've talked about it and hopefully we've covered a lot of things
00:31:01
Speaker
but I just think exactly you and I are on the same boat it's like be curious be open be whoever you want to be and what you said about joy is just just find it whatever it is whatever it is if it if it's pet cream yeah if it's dog rescue yeah if it's helping yeah I mean whatever it might be just yeah whatever it is just do you yeah just be happy in that moment because I think
00:31:24
Speaker
Life is precious.
00:31:24
Speaker
Right.
00:31:25
Speaker
And it's short.
00:31:26
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:26
Speaker
And if you've experienced a lot of loss, you know that.
00:31:29
Speaker
And I'm telling you that if you're in a place where you're not in a good place and you don't seem to have that joy, find it.
00:31:36
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:36
Speaker
It's out there.
00:31:37
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:37
Speaker
It is.
00:31:37
Speaker
And whatever it might be.
00:31:38
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:39
Speaker
And just be you.
00:31:40
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:40
Speaker
Just be happy.
00:31:41
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:42
Speaker
We're going to leave all your links below so that everybody can contact you.
00:31:46
Speaker
If they have more questions, you never know.
00:31:47
Speaker
I wouldn't laugh if you get more questions about the church than you do about peccamation.
00:31:51
Speaker
That's it.
00:31:52
Speaker
Live from Boston.
00:31:54
Speaker
Thank you so much for joining the Club Reap in the wild.
00:31:56
Speaker
Thank you.