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Making Death Care Human Again: Inside Hollis Funeral Home’s Approach
77 Plays1 month ago
What if talking about death openly is what actually helps people feel less afraid?
In this episode, Jennifer Muldowney sits down with Eileen Hollis to explore how conversations, community, and education are reshaping death care. Eileen shares her journey from working quietly behind the scenes to becoming a trusted voice online, helping people understand what happens after death and how families can feel more prepared when loss arrives.
They talk about the rise of death education on social media, the responsibility that comes with visibility, and how Eileen navigates misinformation by only sharing what she would say to a family sitting across from her. The conversation also looks at why funeral traditions are changing, how personalization matters more than formality, and what it really means to meet families where they are.
Tune in to hear why opening up about death may be one of the most meaningful ways to support the living.
Key Topics:
-Learning to face death with openness and less fear
-Offering families clarity, honesty, and reassurance
-Bringing humanity back into funeral care
-Honoring personal wishes and lived stories
-Finding connection and comfort through community
Quotes from the episode:
“Talking about death doesn’t make it happen, but avoiding it doesn’t stop it either.”
-Eileen Hollis
“There are bad people in every industry, and that doesn’t define everyone.”
-Jennifer Muldowney
Timestamp:
[00:00] Podcast Intro
[00:25] Eileen Hollis reflected on attending her first national funeral conference, describing how industry connections and emerging innovations inspired her, while also recognizing the time, cost, and staffing challenges for small funeral homes.
[08:49] Eileen shared how she uses social media to foster community in death care, navigate a crowded digital space, address misinformation thoughtfully, and communicate with care and integrity.
[17:09] Eileen explained her approach to social media as an optional educational resource that normalizes conversations around death, planning, and grief while meeting families with openness and respect.
[22:38] Eileen discussed the importance of personalization in funerals, emphasizing comfort, authenticity, trust, and meaningful human connection over rigid traditions or sales-driven practices.
[39:01] Outro
Connect with Eileen Hollis:
Email: HollisFunHome@gmail.com
Website: HollisFunsralHome.com
TikTok: @hollisfuneralhome
Instagram: @hollisfuneralhome
Connect with Jennifer/The Glam Reaper on socials at:
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/jennifermuldowney/
TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@therealglamreaper
YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@TheGlamReaperMuldowney
LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifermuldowney/
Facebook Page - https://www.facebook.com/MuldowneyMemorials/
Email us - glamreaperpodcast@gmail.com
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Transcript
Introduction and Festive Excitement
00:00:00
Speaker
Would i say this to a family? Would I want my own families to hear this? If it feels wrong in my gut, then I'm not really gonna share it, elaborate too deeply. But I do think that the world deserves to know.
00:00:25
Speaker
Hi everybody
Meeting at NFDA and Viral Content
00:00:26
Speaker
and welcome to another episode of the Glam Reaper podcast. I'm your host Jennifer Muldenny aka the Glam Reaper and we are bringing some festive spirit into the Glam Reaper podcast today i because it is the Christmas period and so it is the season to be thankful and to be loving and all of the things. I am so, so, so excited to have this guest on my part on the podcast this year to close out the podcast. I just think it's the best one ever. We have the most beautiful spirit in the whole world, the beautiful Eileen from Hollis Funeral Home.
00:00:58
Speaker
Q applause. Welcome, welcome, welcome. We had we had a bit of a giggle recently. Well, recently, a couple of months ago at the NFDA where we met and could properly kind of connect. I say properly connect. It was still a fly by the night. Really, wasn't it? It was just it's always so busy.
00:01:15
Speaker
you were there representing the NFDA or like doing a bit of what you do best, making shit go viral. Yeah. And I had no idea what to expect because I've only been to the New York state ones. And that was just a small fraction of the national one. It was like everyone was there. Crazy.
00:01:35
Speaker
Mind blown. Yeah, it was crazy. we We were there
Eileen's NFDA Experience
00:01:39
Speaker
and we actually released an episode of the podcast talking about some of the different conversations we had. and I think you featured in one of the the videos because it was you and I fangirling over the mushroom caskets, the the loop. the layout They were really, really cool. And you made a really good point about how soft the urn was. It was kind of nice and soft and squishy.
00:01:57
Speaker
What was your favorite thing of the NFDA? Anything in particular stand out? Well, I really liked the welcome party. I'd just never been in the House of Blues, you know. Just so cool to see all those funeral directors and their loved ones, their wives, whatever, all smashed into a huge building. And it was kind of, it was exciting because there was so many different little twists and turns in that place. And Everyone dressed up in the 1920s. Yeah, that was so fun. I love seeing people in costumes. I love when people really take that seriously. one avenue of this place led me to Vernie Fountain, which was cool. I was um kind of running around with um Amanda and Ben, and they introduced me to Vernie, which was like... That's big.
00:02:47
Speaker
I've only read about him in my textbooks. You know, I've never thought in my life that I would ever meet him, but he was just so nice. So that was one of my favorite parts. The second best was just connecting with everyone and and meeting everyone and talking to everyone. and it's It really is a grace. The fact that it happens sort of once a year and people come from all over the world. So like the NFDA is international. and Like there's Australians, there's fellow Irish people, there's English, there's Germans and from all over. um It really
Balancing NFDA Events and Networking
00:03:19
Speaker
is. it's It's wonderful. Now, I'll be honest, I've been going to the NFDA for the last 16 years, like since I pretty much started and and before I even moved to the US and because I knew it was where to go, right, to kind of see innovation and see what's going.
00:03:34
Speaker
And I've always been a bit, you know, obsessed with what's the Americans at with that we're not doing in Ireland type thing, right? And so I've been going for 16 years. But what blows my mind and doubly as shocked, especially for you, is that you hadn't been And it's but that was so usual for for the for the average, quote unquote, funeral director that they did actually get to go to these national conferences. Bonkers. I don't think that my dad has ever been. And he's been a funeral director for well over 40 years. So i next time I go, I really want to take him with me
00:04:08
Speaker
I would love to even take my husband. yeah, it's a sponsor of everyone, but like what an experience it was. And I'm just so grateful that they wanted to even fly me out there. And like, yeah, I was like, are you sure?
00:04:24
Speaker
Yeah, you want to do that? It was just so cool. And I'd love to go back. I really wish I could have explored Chicago more fully, though. I just didn't have enough time to really get out and about. I did the frigid run, which was really fun. I feel like I've gone to these.
00:04:41
Speaker
I gear up to the NFDA, almost like I'm gearing up to to do a marathon because it is. It's like I did a couple of TikToks from us and um'm it's so intense. And it's it's ah it's a lot. It's like you're up early, you're walking the you know the exhibition floor, you're meeting people constantly, you barely get time to like grab lunch or whatever. Or if you do, you're doing it with people, which none of this is bad. This is all good stuff, but it's just intense. And then you might come back to the hotel room, do a quick change, and then you're out to some evening thing. And if you're
Community and Innovation in Funeral Industry
00:05:13
Speaker
Irish, you're having a few drinks. And you're not like it's networking 24 seven. You're lucky if you get hours sleep a night and and you don't usually get to go to the cities unless you extend your trip in some way. So it's it's intense. It's a lot. Yeah, I think I was there. i was got there Sunday, had the full day Monday and then left.
00:05:34
Speaker
by like noon on Tuesday. So it was very fast. But I just like the Monday night, I was so tired from the expo, just to so many hours. And then, you know, the neon lights in there. Yeah. The fluorescent lights. It's like being in Times Square.
00:05:54
Speaker
i was starving. was like, I'm just to order From here in this hotel room. And I'm going to take a shower and just watch crap TV and have like silence. Because when I go home, then it's like, you know, Murray's just right on top of me all the time. And yeah, so that was that was great. it like Well, it's a great, yeah, any of these work conferences are great opportunities for moms or dads and to get away from from the chaos of that home.
00:06:27
Speaker
And it's a legit excuse. It's not a holiday. You're still at work, but you get up and be quiet. Well, no, it was so great to see you there. And it's kind of always been something that I have, as I said, been shocked at and wish we could change is that more the average quote-unquote funeral director could go unless, I think I even said it, I was speaking on a panel, The Future of Death Care. It was like a pre-convention. It was a pre-summit convention. don't really, it was the day before the actual official NFDA started. And I said it on the panel that
00:07:02
Speaker
Like, I wish we could somehow encourage or I don't know if the NFDA would drop the prices. I don't know. Figure something out where more of the less owners and more of the actual people who are face to face with the families could go because and you're learning. Like I've worked in funeral homes as a celebrant where the funeral directors didn't had never heard of terramation or composting or natural organic production, whatever you want to call it, had never heard of water cremation or resumation or again, whatever you want to but They'd never heard of any of these.
00:07:33
Speaker
They'd never even heard of celebrants, some of them. It's mind-boggling to me. um And so it's like, how how where's the disconnect, you know? it's so It's expensive. That's the problem. It's expensive, and I think it's hard for, in our case, for such a small funeral home, it's hard for us to like find someone that we trust to cover our funeral home.
00:07:56
Speaker
We maybe have like one or two people, but they're also busy. And, yeah you know, I mean, it's just a few days. What could happen? A lot can happen. A loss in the funeral business. A loss. Yeah. Yeah.
00:08:10
Speaker
I think it's important. I always leave feeling so inspired and just I want to do better, you know? Yeah. So, yeah. And if I think that comes with, as you as you said, it's seeing all the innovations and the different things that are out there. But
Eileen's TikTok Journey
00:08:26
Speaker
at the end of the day, what whether you're a funeral director, a funeral homeowner, a celebrant, a doula, whatever you are, It's all about community. We're all working to the same end goal, which is helping a family through the grieving process.
00:08:41
Speaker
And it's we find our community at at these shows. So it's it's good. It's good that the NFDA had you there because you are which we haven't really talked about yet, is I mean, you're a viral sensation. You're you've been interviewed in People magazine, like all these different amazing you know media houses are like wanting to chat to Eileen. So that's why I'm honoured that you're. But it's so amazing what you've done because you're you've made something not palatable to the average person palatable. yeah Like, I remember first discovering you when you were putting that red
00:09:19
Speaker
stuff all on your face and I'm like oh my gosh is she putting blood on her face like at first I'm like what is happening do you know that sometimes I like scroll back to my pandemic era videos I'm Like, what the hell was I doing? But it I mean, I guess it worked. It just was a different era on TikTok back then because everyone was just going stir crazy in their homes. And we were all just like in our homey.
00:09:50
Speaker
Yeah. COVID vibes. Yeah. And I think like TikTok in and of itself has changed a lot because as you just said, like in COVID for that whole year, every year. And her mother was on TikTok. I mean, I was even on it. Yeah. And then I went off it for a couple of years and now I'm forced forced back ah onto to it. But it's changed very much so because I feel like it lost its...
00:10:15
Speaker
Sparkle when it was cancelled and then brought back because from what I gather, I'm not cool, but from what I gather is it's the algorithm has changed. It's very salesy. It's very controlled now from what I hear. Yeah. And also i feel like in the mortuary side of, or in death talk, there's so many of us now, j which is great. Like, I think that that's absolutely amazing. Um, and,
00:10:46
Speaker
everyone kind of like Everyone kind of just like goes to who
TikTok's Evolution in Deathcare
00:10:51
Speaker
they want to get their information from. like You have Brad. You have um Funeral Babe. You have Evie. You have all these like mortuary science students yeah um that are in school like showing you their um restorative art heads and like what they're doing so it's all very fascinating oh and then you have all the terramation people you have autopsy texts you have coroners on there like there's so much to death talk now and i just feel like there's
00:11:29
Speaker
Like everyone is on that too. So it's very saturated. yeah it's It's just really cool to see. I don't know. I learn so much like even from all the hospice nurses. i love following every single one of them. um It's helpful for me like just talking to families and um and then also helpful for me in the future when go through that with – people that I love and stuff. by Absolutely. We had m this season, we also had hospice nurse Penny on. She is such a firecracker.
00:12:06
Speaker
Oh, my God. So that was going to be my next question to you. Well, it's kind of a a double edged sword. So number one, how do you feel about misinformation in this space? And number two, have you had I mean, these are both big questions. Have you had any experience like she did with trolls and you having strong opinions? No.
00:12:28
Speaker
Politically, i was very, very vocal in COVID times and like and beyond. And I got a lot of trolls for that. um but i i And I don't know if I really got a lot of trolls or if it was just like me new to TikTok thinking that I have a lot of trolls. But at the time, everyone was kind of like...
00:12:49
Speaker
clapping back, you know, and um I felt the need to clap back delicately. I'm not going to be like extremely rude or anything like that, but I'm going to state my case. yeah I also did that with a lot of misinformation and not really clap back more gently try and educate people there were a lot of people saying like that this information should not be out there and that was a lot of me being like um this is information that we should already be explaining
Addressing Misinformation Sensitively
00:13:23
Speaker
to families or
00:13:25
Speaker
You know, there's nothing really to hide. So um there was a point, though, where I felt like maybe what I was sharing, it felt illegal discussing things like this. So I would kind of just like pull back a little bit. And even right now, sometimes I feel like I'm... a little more apprehensive to share things. I used to be afraid. And then Tom Fuller from New York State, he actually told me, he was like, you're doing a great job. I was like, thanks. And he's like one of the big cheeses, you know? So I just was like, okay, I'm going to keep going. This is fine.
00:14:02
Speaker
um I just kind of try and present it as would i say this to a family? Yes. Would I want my own families to hear this? Or, you know, if it feels wrong in my gut, then I'm not really gonna share it.
00:14:16
Speaker
or um elaborate too deeply. But I do think that the world deserves to know. 100%. I couldn't agree more. And what I love about the way you've presented compared to where other people have presented and not that we should be comparing because everyone it's apples and oranges, all different. Right.
00:14:38
Speaker
you know, you you do it respectfully, you do it in a fun way and you never, or at least from what I've seen, you never go over the edge, right? And I i haven't personally felt that you've, there's been massive political or religious or faith-driven posts out there. I haven't probably seen, I'm sure, all of your posts.
00:15:00
Speaker
It's tough. it's It's tough in this space because we are all like, here's... I guess well i the reason why I started this podcast and I started it in COVID, this was my TikTok, I guess, is na elves that funeral directors are given such a hard time in in the media. I feel like it's always about Christ and it's always you've been naughty, slap on the hand, you know, like the bodies are piling up in Brooklyn. Oh my God, this one guy is shoving people in a crematorium. okay, there's one shithead, there's one bad guy, there's one guy shouldn't exist, never mind have a license or or maybe not have license or whatever. But there's cowboys in every industry. Like there's bad people, period. Like you're never going to not give them the tools. There's bad people who are priests, who are rabbis, who are supposed to be the pillars of society. There are bad people who are presidents. There are bad people who are all of the things. And that doesn't, you know, we can't, you're never going to have 100%, you know, perfection rate. And I think what you do is you humanize it.
00:16:10
Speaker
Like, like what I try and do, I mean, the people who listen to this podcast are funeral directors, funeral professionals in general, and but also Joe Public, also the public. Because they're curious yeah um and they're interested in what might happen. And the people who look at your TikTok are interested in what happens after I die.
00:16:30
Speaker
um People either lean in or they lean out. And if you lean out, that's OK. Don't look at my TikTok. Don't listen to my podcast. You know? Yes. That's why I always tell people from day one. I said, this is just a tool. If you want to know information or if you want to know the life of how we're living it, i you know, just come and go as you please. I'm not like forcing anyone to stay in this, you know,
00:16:56
Speaker
deaf community like just come and go you see how you would use funeral home it's fine you know there's a lot of people people empower people who are above funeral homes etc etc who have even young people who have expressed to me that they they don't love these um death influencers and they don't love this sort of new trend and this you know it' spreading misinformation and all that sort of stuff And my response to that is, yes, none of us want fake news out there, right? None of us want, them
Personalizing Funerals and Evolving Roles
00:17:31
Speaker
but you're not going to stop that. In this age of information, you're not going to necessarily stop people from spreading, you know, that the they growing up, it was kind of called Chinese whispers. You know, yeah somebody would tell me something, I would translate it into something else. And then it suddenly, when it got to the hundredth person, was completely... Like telephone. phone But I feel like...
00:17:52
Speaker
Exactly. As you said, while the market has become saturated right now, and as you know, as in there's a lot of people, it doesn't mean to say if you're listening, you know, start that TikTok, start that account, you think, like, go, go, me do it. But it's, and it's wonderful that these conversations are being had, that Joe, the person on the street, is actually considering pre-planning, is actually considering now, do they want to be cremated because they maybe saw a video that Eileen did on cremation?
00:18:22
Speaker
You know, do they want taramasia? Or maybe they want a mushroom casket because they saw it on the Glam Reaper podcast. Whatever. Who knows? um I just feel a lot of people that just reach out and they say, because of you, I know what I'm doing now or I knew how to help my family or you know, back in the day I used to people used to DM me and I would help them like read their autopsy reports. Yeah.
00:18:50
Speaker
I was like, why was I doing? I'm like, here's what this word means. Here's yeah this word means. i was like, this is what it looks like to me. But if you don't, you know, you can always call your... Medichap. Yeah.
00:19:02
Speaker
Yeah. You can either Google hunt it out or you can call your medical examiner's office and maybe they would tell you. Like, I don't know. But that's just like how deep I was into my DMs. Like, I really would go...
00:19:18
Speaker
You read everything, like respond to everyone. And then I just was like, okay. I can't do that anymore. I mean, how many followers do you have there? Like 935k or something. Wait, nearly a million followers? on it You know, it adds and flows. So yeah we'll see. and Maybe someday I'll make it to a million. Maybe not. well We will know you didn't have party because you asked. No, you really, you became like the intranet. Like death, agony, outs in a sense. Yeah. Yeah.
00:19:50
Speaker
you You know, you also are not, and I've addressed this with a photo on my Instagram page, is what, you know, you're not the quintessential funeral director. You don't look like what people envision. Neither does your dad. Like you as a fan at all look like what you expect the funeral directors to look like. I mean, if we can get away with it, we look like this. you Like, when we're not, like, nothing was really on the schedule today. i was just, you know, running to the crematory to drop someone off and, you know, picking up death certificates. We're not, like, going to be in a suit for that. Some people would be in a suit for that, but not us. Yeah, so we like to be...
00:20:35
Speaker
As chill as possible. um And then, you know, when the time calls to be dressed up, whether that's meeting with a family or, you know, funerals and we're dressed up then. Sometimes people even just they say, don't get all dressed up for us.
00:20:50
Speaker
I can tell you right now, if ah where not, if when I have to deal with my parents, you know, back home, um I would rather my funeral director meet me in a lovely, comfy sweater and jeans and whatever. I would rather that. Because here's the thing, I feel as intimidated.
00:21:07
Speaker
if there's ah If there's a guy, i mean, unfortunately, it's a lot of, well, we all know it's a lot of white men still controlling this. But yeah, comfy guy, middle-aged white guy in a suit. who kind of looking down on me. um It doesn't feel comfortable. And that's, I think, where the pressure and the sales gets into it is you're not like i talked about this on the panel as well, where, you know, I used to use this phrase a lot, meet people where they're at.
00:21:32
Speaker
And I feel like it's the now and everyone's using it. i'm like, but are you actually understanding what that means? Because meeting somebody where they're at is coming down to their level and holding their hand. And actually, it's not you sitting in a suit with a big oak table between you, you know, and you pontificating about the different types of caskets and how luxurious this varnish is versus this other one when that's not maybe what they care about. Food or the music or whatever else, you know, what made mom, mom.
00:22:07
Speaker
I don't know. Yeah. it's The personalization of it all. It really is. That's more of what I'm concerned with. What type of casket you're getting. Because a casket is a casket is a casket.
00:22:18
Speaker
As my dad has. Yeah. Even though my best friend who's a funeral director fights me on this because he's like, no, no, it's so important. I'm like, okay, come guys there. are some There are some shit caskets out there. So I will say that a casket is a casket is a casket. Yes, it all holds the person. But there are some very terribly made ones.
00:22:42
Speaker
I mean, there's those homemade ones, too. Oh, yeah. I mean. Actually, we've had some, like, woodworkers make some caskets. And they've been they've been pretty good. i mean, they're just very basic. but um Yeah.
00:22:58
Speaker
But I was blown away. I don't like the embossed ones, you know, like the fuzzy casket. I liked, honestly, that alice got mushroom one and that we were looking at. My friend loves caskets hated that.
Trust, Quality, and Innovation in Funerals
00:23:11
Speaker
We actually had a... I took my exact reaction to him. I was like, What do you mean? I said to me, that looks like a warm, cozy hug, a little blanket.
00:23:20
Speaker
But again, this is what I'm actually always preaching is this just goes to show like we're two best friends. We could not be more different when it comes to our funeral. Yeah. And that's the thing. in your own that Yeah. You have to meet people where like he values music. He wants a bloody orchestra. He values the casket. I don't. I value the food, the people, the drinks, the speeches. You know, we're all just different. I like that, you know, he wants a whole bougie funeral. That's good.
00:23:47
Speaker
Yeah. I was so mad. So i am I said at the start, we did a podcast episode on the our time at the NFDA and what we had run into tick technical difficulties because the microphone I was using, it didn't pick up any. It didn't record any of the audio.
00:24:03
Speaker
So I had a full conversation and even a side conversation with you. And all of those conversations, they were so good. And I even had my you recording. And then when it came down to editing, we had no audio.
00:24:16
Speaker
So we had to get everybody. now You were working so hard too. you But you learned like you were making it sound like look so easy. like You had your little like candy cocktail in your hand. Yeah.
00:24:32
Speaker
Always a cocktail. You're getting down to it. I know. Quiz them. I always have. I'm quizzing them. Because i guess, again, from going to it for 16 years, I've seen so many people come and go. And so I'm always like, I can be a bit tough where it's like, you but what's going to make you last? Like, because also like all these new innovations and stuff.
00:24:53
Speaker
families are trusting us to trust them with trusted providers. A lot of trust going on. And i and and so, you know, we have to make sure that we're giving them quality. We have to make sure
Conclusion and Holiday Wishes
00:25:04
Speaker
that the the people that they sign up, whether it's pre-planned with or make a at-need purchase, that it's going to be quality. We could talk for days and days and days. I know we cut a little short today, but we could honestly, I mean, maybe we'll get you back on season six. I actually can't believe we're in season six next year, which is just mental we'll get you on um in season six so we can we can have an update and maybe we'll have murray on too we that was a question mark it was an absolute pleasure and an honor to have you on thank you so much and everyone please if you're listening please you know look her up um on instagram tiktok and all the different things and if you're in the area what area is it hollis is it is that the name of the area you go no that's our last name um we're in syracuse new york
00:25:50
Speaker
Excellent. Right. Well, check out Hollis Funeral Home in Syracuse if you're in that area. um And yeah, you maybe you meet the celebrity, whether it's Eileen or her dad. Well, thank you so much. Please, for you and all your family, get some rest. Enjoy the holidays. I hope it's quiet for you all. And just thank you so much. And I look forward to 2026 with you.
00:26:10
Speaker
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.