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80. Closing The Portal image

80. Closing The Portal

E80 · Soul Pod: The Podcast
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13 Plays6 days ago

An ADHD conversation on portals - what do they signify, and how can we make the most of them? We have no idea, and neither will you after listening to this episode. :)

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Hosts: Christina Bell & Molly Wilde

Music: The Confrontation, by Jonathan Boyle, licensed from Premium Beats by Shutterstock

Editing: Molly Wilde

Disclaimer: The purpose of this podcast is for entertainment and enjoyment. We are not professionals in any regard. We do not have professional knowledge, training, or education in physical health, mental health, or spiritual matters. Any suggestions or recommendations made during our episodes should be independently researched by the listener before considering implementation, or better yet, listeners should ignore everything we say. We cannot be held responsible or liable for anything we say, or any actions taken by any persons as a result of listening to our podcast episodes. Stay safe, stay informed, stay smart.

Transcript

Midweek Challenges and Humor

00:00:28
Speaker
has it been a day because it seems like it's been a day it's been a fucking day um fucking over it wednesdays can eat my ass visit dude guess who just joined us Is it a potato? It's a potato!
00:00:50
Speaker
Oh my in here. She's by my foot. Oh. no Hello, girl. Sweet baby.
00:01:03
Speaker
She wants up on my lap, but I really don't want to do that right now. Fair. Fair.
00:01:11
Speaker
so yeah.

Late-Stage Capitalism and Pandemic Comparisons

00:01:13
Speaker
What's going on? lord what isn't going on but god every day is another nightmare in this hellscape we call post cap post no what's the fucking word late stage capitalist america ah i was gonna say post apocalyptic i think yeah because it seems like that same same diff um um yeah yeah
00:01:43
Speaker
um But I had a thought that I wanted to talk about with you today. um That i don't i don't know what it means. I don't know if it means anything.
00:01:58
Speaker
But I thought it was interesting and I thought we would... ah pull on this thread together. Alright!

Friday the 13ths and Pandemic Beginnings

00:02:06
Speaker
So, as you may know, we this year have two Friday the 13th's in a row.
00:02:16
Speaker
ah We had one in February and we've got one again this month in March. ah But it was recently pointed out to me, or rather in a video that I saw, so I...
00:02:31
Speaker
Took it as to me. It was recently pointed out that the last time we had a Friday of the 13th in March. You know when that was?
00:02:45
Speaker
Oh, yes, I do. 2020. Yep. And it was suggested and I want this is what I wanted to hash out with you.
00:02:58
Speaker
ah It was suggested that this year, this month, may well close some portals. Ooh.
00:03:10
Speaker
Because, you know, lest anyone forget, Friday the 13th of March 2020 was the day the world shut down. Mm-hmm.
00:03:22
Speaker
Yep.

Early Pandemic Reflections

00:03:24
Speaker
it pretty universally i mean at least across america because i know that other countries were shutting down probably before we were um and a few after because you know the spread was gradual and until it was you know fucking exponential yeah you know it's always a slow burn until it's a blaze but that was the day i mean it was for me technically monday the 16th because everybody at my office where i worked at the time showed up on monday morning and then around like we all showed up at a little at like
00:04:13
Speaker
nine And then around 11 is when the president of the nonprofit called everyone into the conference room and was like, all right, I don't know why we all showed up today because frankly, I think it's not safe.
00:04:32
Speaker
And like now we have to like pack up everything we think we need for two weeks, two weeks, quote unquote. Yeah. Oh, my God. And take our work home and work from home for the next two weeks. So I brought home like I put like a banker's box together of like various things. Like I can't even remember what it was I needed that was like binders or folders or things. I don't know.
00:05:02
Speaker
um But I brought home some of that stuff and started working from home basically that afternoon. And i was isolated, isolated by covid even though I was living with my ex still. But like,
00:05:22
Speaker
ah for the next like two months before I went back to the

Workplace Adaptations During COVID

00:05:25
Speaker
office. And when I was going back to the office, I was going in once a week and nobody else was there. Like I was, I had a key.
00:05:35
Speaker
I don't know what qualifies people to have a key, but usually i was the last person leaving most days, even before COVID hit. So I would always have to make sure it was locked up. But ah I was, you know, showing up once a week, basically to just like ship out materials because that was like a product that the company would, you know, sell was like some DVDs and booklets and books, you know, depending on the orders. Yeah.
00:06:03
Speaker
And go through the mail and um the rest of the time I worked from home. and but like it was a solid two months.
00:06:15
Speaker
You know, it was like mid-May by the time I started to have to go back. And that was it's just crazy to think about. That's six whole fucking years ago.
00:06:27
Speaker
Time fucking flies, dude. Yeah.

Collective Experiences of 2020

00:06:31
Speaker
Yeah. it's really crazy really really crazy yeah dude everybody's 2020 i feel has like its own story um there's a lot of shared experiences but there's a lot that's different too like it it's almost in my mind it's almost akin to the way that people will share like where they were when 9-11 happened yeah It's like, you know, like, what was your 2020 like, you know?
00:07:03
Speaker
You know, aside from the global pandemic, like, what else happened to you? Yeah.

School Adaptations During Lockdown

00:07:10
Speaker
yeah I don't really remember much um other than, like, what we had to do for work.
00:07:18
Speaker
um So if you start from the 13th, I remember everyone was in the lounge. And I can't remember. It must have been it must have been a day where there was like no school, because honestly, that is what's happening this month as well. On the 13th, there's there was supposed to be like an in-service, which is just like.
00:07:44
Speaker
a general meeting that they could do anything at. They could provide us with training or whatever, or they like this, you know, these ones, they tend to have like a speaker come and talk, whatever. um So there must've been something like that because I remember I was, i was just in the process of starting to be become a CDL trainer at work.
00:08:08
Speaker
And i was there with other trainers and we were doing some paperwork in the lounge. And then it was just like, Maybe it was on the news or something like that. People started talking and people were saying like, you know, restaurants are shutting down, like blah, blah, blah. Like we just like buzz started spreading through the lounge, you know? Yeah. yeah And then I think by over the weekend or something, maybe, maybe it was that night.
00:08:32
Speaker
Maybe it was like later that night. That Friday night. Yeah. We must all just got a you know, a general school district announcement. saying that nobody would be coming in on Monday and that to stay tuned for like for their updates. So um after a couple of days or so, maybe a week, I don't even remember. This is what I'm saying. Like, I don't remember the details anymore. of how this all went down. And like, this is where journaling would be a good thing because then I could go back and be like, Oh, I wrote it down. Like, how let me go, you know? Yeah. Yeah.
00:09:10
Speaker
But they had to come up with a plan for, um you know, the priority became making sure our students had their school lunches because, you know, they were typically being fed in school you they still wanted to be able to provide food for these kids because some of them are underprivileged and whatnot. So yeah um that became like the focus. So we, they came up with like a plan of how to go about delivering the school lunches to the kids and they would do like
00:09:47
Speaker
You know, I think we started out doing like three days a week. And then was like, they like the first two days, they were giving two days worth of food. And then like the third day, they were giving three days worth of food to get through the weekend. Right. Yeah. Something like that.
00:10:04
Speaker
So I remember that.

Changes in School Attendance

00:10:05
Speaker
Yeah. And then they ended up like, I can't remember how or why, but they ended up abbreviating it to like twice a week or something like that. or maybe it was vice versa. Maybe it was two days a week and then three days a week. I don't know, but they changed it at one point.
00:10:20
Speaker
And the funny thing was like, because we're the bus drivers, you know, we're the, we're the ones that were like given routes to do to take food to these kids. yeah And, um but they had like other employees throughout the district come and help.
00:10:38
Speaker
So theyre they're like, I had a, a lady who was pair of pro. at a school, um i had, like, first of all... Can you define parapro? I will. I will. I will. um First of all, I think it started out with another TA. a No, I went through a few different people. So, like, parapro is just, like, a helper in a classroom.
00:11:05
Speaker
Paraprofessional. pair of paraationional They just, like, are helpers in the classroom. They're not the teachers. Right. and then TAs or transportation assistants. So I had a transportation assistant with me at one point. And I also had a couple other women who were parapros in different schools at a couple of different points.
00:11:29
Speaker
But, um, the cool thing was one of them turned out to be a fellow, which that I didn't know was a witch. I know it was really cool. She was, uh,
00:11:41
Speaker
a para para pro at one of the schools and um i kind of saw like a couple of her tattoos and she was very you know like punky alternative kind of and i worked up the courage to ask her i was like hey so like do you do witchcraft and she was like yeah i was like me too it was fun she was really cool i really enjoyed working with her yeah but yeah so that progressed through the summer we did that basically through the entire summer and then around you know in september at some point they decided to like start doing school but they were like doing it really weird like
00:12:27
Speaker
half the school would come like two days a week and the other half of the school would come like the other two days a week or something like that. it's Interesting. Yeah. So they would have less people in the building at a time.
00:12:39
Speaker
Yeah. Which logically makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was really weird. Yeah. But not too long after that, but basically things went back to normal. Uh huh.
00:12:56
Speaker
yeah all this All the kids starting to go again. and yeah yeah Was that like before the end of that school year? Or was it like things resumed more like normal the next fall?
00:13:10
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know. That's what I mean by like I cannot remember details anymore about that shit. yeah i think they I think they worked out hybrid stuff through the whole school year. And then like, yeah, the following school year was like i don't know it was it was weird uh-huh it was weird i'm just trying i'm just like some slight memories are coming back to me which which i won't won't even be able to talk about here so that's okay but yeah
00:13:43
Speaker
um i yeah I don't remember if I journaled very much during that time, but I did post a lot on Instagram.

Travel Plans and Personal Connections

00:13:51
Speaker
And by a lot, I mean like approximately once a week, maybe a little...
00:13:59
Speaker
Yeah, maybe a little up more often, actually. Because I was posting occasional, like, you know, like, day 10 of lockdown, day 12, day 19, 22, day day like, isolated from each Yeah.
00:14:17
Speaker
m trying to be entertaining while we were all like isolated from each other yeah Oh, I remember that I came out to ah visit you in July that summer. Yeah. Well, you know, there was a whole saga before that where like.
00:14:35
Speaker
I was supposed to come in April. yeah yeah was supposed to that's right i remember because like oh because um well you know 2020 being what it was and everybody having you know their own unique experiences as i said 2020 was uniquely challenging for me because of the fact that i ah had a hard breakup in february 2020 um And it was after that breakup that my ex offered to pay for you to fly here to come visit and like help me you know, feel a little better. And so the original flight was planned for April. And this was like end of February that we planned this.
00:15:32
Speaker
And then the world shut down. Your flight was canceled. You got refunded. and then you found a cheaper flight. Well, I think it was like, uh, did I get refunded? you i I think you had to have because you you bought a flight and then my ex Venmo'd you for the amount of it.
00:15:54
Speaker
Right. And then you got refunded for, you know, the flight because it was canceled. Right, right. you found a cheaper flight in July. So you made a little bit of money off my ex.
00:16:07
Speaker
um The funny thing is, like, I don't remember that exactly, but I was thinking that it might have been one of those voucher situations.
00:16:18
Speaker
Because, like... like They've still continued that for quite a while after the main issue, the main pandemic shit was over with. I have no idea about vouchers. Yeah, that that if you needed to reschedule, um that they would just like give you a voucher towards another flight another time.
00:16:40
Speaker
That you could use up to like two years from then or some shit. It was like they gave you a pretty long amount of time to be able to use it. But I think, you know, what you're saying makes total sense to me. yeah but I like distinctly remember you like geeking out over the fact that you found a much cheaper flight.
00:16:58
Speaker
And so I don't think it was a voucher situation. I think it was a reimburse or like a refund and repurchase. Yeah. Yeah. um so yeah yeah that was a really cool july trip though honestly yeah for it being like such a weird time of like the world um it was one of my favorite visits that you've ever done out here yeah we did that drive-in
00:17:32
Speaker
yeah like we double a feature we only went out to dinner once and it was not even it was like the same day you even flew in i think uh we went to the mexican restaurant acapulco's oh yeah um and they had those like plastic guards up between the booths um So, like, we went out for that.
00:17:58
Speaker
But otherwise, we, like, basically just ate home-cooked meals, I think, or got takeout or something. Yeah. and Yeah, we went to the drive-in theater on July 4th evening and we saw it was Ghostbusters and Deadpool.
00:18:17
Speaker
will always remember. and the drive-in theater was perfect for like a social distancing activity. um it worked out really nicely. And then the other main part of like what I remember of that trip was spending hours upon hours like cuddled up in bed with my air conditioning blasting at like 60 degrees and getting highly highly inebriated and playing Mario Kart. And I was miserably cold. Yeah. So I had to give you a sweatshirt because you didn't travel with one because it was fucking July.

Pandemic Gaming Anecdotes

00:19:00
Speaker
yeah But I was perfect because I run so goddamn hot that like there's a reason that I was always blasting the air at 60 degrees. Yeah. And like that's the thing too is that like in those old houses like they no when you don't have the air it is oppressively hot upstairs. Yeah. Yeah, I believe that.
00:19:22
Speaker
So i was like, just like all in, all out. I don't know. Going nuts. And I remembered I actually bought um myself a tablet and my son a tablet because I, because like he was in preschool that summer and he was supposed to be starting kindergarten.
00:19:50
Speaker
That's right. That August. But like, that's right. Couldn't do in-person kindergarten. So I just was like, you know what? I'm just going to get this kid a tablet and we're going to, he's going to start doing this ABC mouse thing. and You know, wanted him to get a little bit of a head start.
00:20:08
Speaker
and he really hardly used it that much but um yeah but anyway i had brought my tablet with me to your house and i remember i was like playing minecraft and you were like i just love this you were like i just love that you're playing minecraft on a tablet yeah i thought it was so silly loved it it was silly That game gave me too much anxiety, dude. I don't i don't know why.
00:20:38
Speaker
but then again, I've never played it, so I wouldn't have it. Yeah. You have to remember, I didn't grow up on video games at all. And not great at them by any means because I really hardly played them. But this game, if you're not in...
00:20:54
Speaker
easy mode which would be considered creative mode right you're getting attacked by monsters and bullshit so it's like i don't know how to defend myself against monsters they call them what the hell do they call them they have a name but anyway um you know i'm not good at controlling controls in a video game first of all so that's hard And then like trying to do it when you're panicking and like, don't know what you're doing. That was like super anxiety.
00:21:30
Speaker
But also like if you're brand new to Minecraft, like, If you go adventuring, you like will not find your fucking way back to where you came from. So I had like built a house up in a mountain, went adventuring, couldn't find my way back, had to build another house.
00:21:49
Speaker
Whatever. it was funny. oh minecraft plights yeah one of the funnier things i did that year though was when my i got my kid playing it on my laptop um we learned how to spawn cats oh my god and so like you can spawn all kinds of shit but that's in creative mode you have to like get the eggs or whatever
00:22:19
Speaker
that they have that you can spawn things with. So we started like spawning like a multitude of cats and it was like, they're just all like, you know, making this, all these crazy meowing noises. But I thought it was so funny that I actually took a video of it and I posted it like,
00:22:38
Speaker
I think it was hannnam it was a TikTok video or something I did. it was so silly. It was like, we're spawning cats. Oh, that's great.

Learning Video Games and Patience

00:22:52
Speaker
I love it.
00:22:53
Speaker
do I do appreciate a game that has a hefty amount of nonsense. Yes. um I'm a big fan of like absurdist humor and nonsense humor.
00:23:05
Speaker
So it's like, the funny thing is there's no objective to the game. yeah It's just literal creativity and then like defending yourself against crap.
00:23:17
Speaker
That's it. Yeah. I like that though. But you could build so many things and and that's a lot of fun. Yeah. I don't, I've, I'm like you. I, you know, I grew up with some video games, but it was mostly my brothers that played video games and I occasionally got to play with them. um But never like RPG type games, role playing games. um It was always my brothers would play like Tony Hawk Pro Skater 4, like ah SSX Tricky, which is like a snowboarding
00:23:54
Speaker
game and so like things like that and so ah the first like proper game that i got to play as an adult was zelda breath of the wild and i but let's let's be real though that game is incredible and i once i like understood it and like got into it like oh my god i was ah hooked hooked and i got really really good at it even including fighting but it did take me a long time um but like you know i just sort of learned or like figured out like okay i am not the kind of person who naturally like just knows how to do controls yeah me neither um like my ex is a huge gamer and so like he would like start a new game every other week it seemed and like
00:24:48
Speaker
always got the controls down like immediately and i' was just like how do you know how to do that and it wass like they all do the same things like the controls are always always the same and i'm like but like how do you even know he's like i've been playing games since i was like 10 right and i was like oh god but like uh a yeah few years ago i started playing hogwarts legacy and I was determined i was like listen to to me to myself I was saying listen Molly you are going to be patient and you are going to take the time that you need to take to learn the controls you're going to do them slowly m and then they're going to become muscle memory yeah yeah and then you'll be able to enjoy this game right and that's exactly what I did
00:25:45
Speaker
oh i love that it worked out but it's the kind of thing where same as like the way i was talking about literally at the beginning of this episode where i'm just like i try to rush like too fast and too like you know i just have no patience and i just try to like get through everything like as fast as possible i think you were not talking about it during this episode i think you were talking about it before the episode just to me Oh, was

Personality Traits in Gaming

00:26:11
Speaker
I? yeah That's kind of the problem with chatting before we start recording. I know. Yeah.
00:26:16
Speaker
was literally talking about it before we started recording Christina recalls. ah I have a tendency to just automatically without being fully conscious of it.
00:26:28
Speaker
just like like barrel my way through every single day like sprinting through every action every activity every task that I have every day and I'm like you know sprinting from one you know place to another it seems and like just constantly just my nervous system is on high gear high alert all the time yeah you know I find myself realizing and needing to like force myself to slow down Yeah.
00:26:59
Speaker
And it's it's a really, really irritating. So when that translated to video games. Yeah, like I had to, i had to like force myself to take it slow and learn and be like conscious and like pay attention to the little like tutorials.
00:27:21
Speaker
It would tell me like, okay, this button for this bell or this button for this thing or like this is how you jump or this is how you do a, you know, somersault or this is how you get on your broom. Mm-hmm.
00:27:34
Speaker
um and there are tons of controls there's a tons a ton of different things that you have to try to remember how to do and i found myself frequently having to like re-look up certain things but like i at least allowed myself to do that because i also have a tendency to get really impatient with myself if i don't remember things and like yeah you know force myself to try to remember rather than like just look up the information right yeah Which is so annoying. I'm like, why? i Why do I have to live my life on hard mode? Like, what the fuck? know, right? Ugh.

Advice and Personal Growth

00:28:09
Speaker
Yeah, I kind of remember saying this to you one time, like many years ago, where I was like realizing that you make ah you make a lot of really strict rules for yourself. And I was just like, I don't understand it. Like, I don't get it either. But see, you didn't seem to understand what I was saying back then. But now you do because you're healing.
00:28:33
Speaker
So think back then you were just like, no, was just like, okay. I'm not the kind person who likes to be told what's wrong with me. So, you know, you know, it wasn't even like saying what's wrong, but it was like an observation about literally with you. It's literally never about like you being a critical or like unkind person, but like, that's how it's received to like,
00:29:01
Speaker
whether it's my trauma or my like just personality similar to you know the whole i don't like getting advice unless i actually need it and ask for it like i don't like i'm not usually right historically have not usually been receptive to being told like any sort of character flaw yeah i get you i get it yeah i don't either but like yeah you know and i i know i have faults but it doesn't i mean people don't typically point them out to me it was just like
00:29:43
Speaker
And the the moments when I was offering you advice that you didn't want would be the time where I was just like, what the fuck? Nobody's ever told me this before. I don't understand. Like, what's the problem?
00:29:57
Speaker
Nobody's ever had a problem with me. Like... doing, you know, I have lots of friends that I've given lots of advice to, but we do it back and forth. You know, it's like, it's a give and take situation where it's like, you know, if I'm having an issue and upset about something, of course, a friend is going to be like, oh, dude, no, you got to do this. You got to do that. You got to whatever, whatever. And so yeah that's just how it's always been for me. So when I was hearing your you know, resistance or whatever to me being like that. I was just like, don't get it. And it just like totally, ah it like affected me so bad. Like, I was just like, I don't understand. She's, she hates me. oh my God. It's so hard because like,
00:30:43
Speaker
It's just, it's simply a matter of like, what kind of person you are and like how, you know, we could talk about it in the context of astrology and we have and we will again,

Emotion and Validation

00:30:54
Speaker
I'm sure. but like, we're like, certain traits are just more prevalent. And in a person with my placements, i just need to like verbalize and externalize when something is going wrong. hmm.
00:31:10
Speaker
Because like, that's how I process the emotion of it. And like, you know, in the case of my fucking Leo moon bullshit, like it has to be loud and dramatic.
00:31:26
Speaker
And like, all that I need is just to be loud and dramatic and have somebody like, receive that and contain it. ah Just be like, you know, and and to validate it.
00:31:38
Speaker
And then, um you know, once I've had my tantrum then then i can move on and like actually just do what i need to do yeah and like that's the thing is that like i also have a virgo stellium so like i already know what i need to do like i've i've already like thought through and maybe this is part of my goddamn problem but like you know it's it's the virgo stellium and the trauma of like being hyper vigilant and having like the kind of anxiety that makes me think about and overanalyze every possible outcome of every situation. Yeah.
00:32:14
Speaker
And so it's just like, I very literally have already thought of every possible thing that I could do And I don't, that's why I'm like, I don't need advice. h I already know what I need to do. i already know what it's possible to do.
00:32:28
Speaker
And I just need to be loud whiny bitch for a minute first. And I'm sorry if that's inconvenient, but it just it just is what it is.
00:32:41
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. oh I was just... like before we kind of went on that tangent, I was thinking about video game situations. And like when I used to try to play video games against my ex, I had no idea what I was doing with the controls. So I was like smashing every effing button on the controller. in Somehow I managed to beat him a few times.
00:33:08
Speaker
Wow. Yeah, it was crazy. But he liked to play these like, like sports video games and stuff like that i think we were playing some crap like baseball or football or something and i didn't like like that crap anyways but i was just like smashing every button just like with my thumb you know like all around in circles oh my god and like his cousin was over one time and he was just like man she's killing you life of my as I was like, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. did
00:33:44
Speaker
I love that. It was funny. Oh my God.

Humorous Gaming Recounts

00:33:48
Speaker
Yeah. Makes me think of like, before I even got into Breath of the Wild, um,
00:33:55
Speaker
I got into Mario Kart and we talked about Mario Kart. That's what we played for the most part while you were visiting in 2020. Yeah, it was so fun. Oh my god. so fun. So good. It's such a great game. And like I remember like once I learned how to drift in that game, everybody else was cooked. like Once I learned how to started winning constantly and it like
00:34:26
Speaker
for a while it was fun with my ex but like you know in addition to being a video game addict he was also an alcoholic and uh so whenever we were playing he would get progressively more and more drunk and then he would lose constantly because he couldn't fucking don't drink in Mario Kart you'll fucking lose and then he'd get mad and then he would be like you know having a bad attitude and the whole night would be ruined and So I found myself playing a ton by myself, even before he and I broke up.
00:35:00
Speaker
But I remember in I'm pretty sure it was 2018.
00:35:07
Speaker
and pretty sure it was twenty eighteen I had that was the last time I had like a proper birthday party that was like a party where I had my friends come over to my house. oh um or rather, i mean, it was my house at the time, my ex's house.
00:35:21
Speaker
um That was my 26th birthday. And I had i had a friend that was coming that had come from out of state and was visiting and a few other friends that came and, you know, just had a party.
00:35:38
Speaker
ah There was food, there was cake, there was drinks, there was weed.

Party Gaming Memories

00:35:43
Speaker
And ah i was simultaneously drunk and high. Mm-hmm.
00:35:50
Speaker
um and we were playing mario kart and i had handed over the controller i was used to to somebody else and i was using the like annoying like we controller that you put turn sideways to tro into control yeah and i was still absolutely smoking everyone high and drunk on my birthday with an unfamiliar controller that's funny it's very stupid but it's a point of pride for me so yeah you know yeah yeah it's a lot of fun and i i ended up getting a switch after playing with you yeah you on your switch um was it was actually the wii u
00:36:40
Speaker
oh I think Matt had a Switch of his own. But when he yeah when he got the Switch, he let me use the Wii in my room.
00:36:51
Speaker
And it was our room technically before. um But I would play Mario Kart on the Wii U. So you ended up getting Switch. But I got my own Switch in 2022. Yeah. And think it was...
00:37:07
Speaker
yeah and i think it was oh, you know what? I had gotten mine before that. Or, no, I got my kids' one before that.
00:37:21
Speaker
He got his in 2021. Yeah. And then i would play with it sometimes when he was, like, at school and I was home on my break or something. I remember, yeah. um And then, i'm trying to remember, I'm just trying to remember how things went, but... anyhow i did end up buying my own a few months after that and i can't remember if i got mine before you got yours or what i cannot remember well here's what i can tell you for sure is that i got mine in like march or the beginning of april of 2022 and my ex was the one he bought it and then told me i could just pay him back
00:38:08
Speaker
and so i did he i think it he bought it and like a game i think it was mario kart actually i think he he bought because he he placed like an order on best buy or whatever um and so he ordered the switch and copy of mario kart for the switch um sweet and then I went to pick it up at the

Gaming During the Pandemic

00:38:40
Speaker
Best Buy. And while I was there, I bought myself Animal Crossing.
00:38:45
Speaker
Ah. Yeah. and And so I remember that. And it took me like six, maybe seven months to pay him back because I paid him back $50 a month in addition to like the rent that I was paying him. And worked out. It was nice.
00:39:05
Speaker
Yeah. And I just completely forgot that um the Switch that I picked out for my kid was the Animal Crossing Edition. Right, but it was before you played it.
00:39:16
Speaker
Right. m Because you only got it after I got it. Right. he got He got it with his. oh that's right. But you didn't play it until later. I didn't play it. later He was playing, i don't remember what he was playing.
00:39:31
Speaker
um He did actually start playing that game. Because I started, I created my own character on his game and then i created, like, then I had my own account and had a different character. Right. Um, but he just wasn't all that interested interested in his switch. He was playing, he he liked being on the laptop and playing Minecraft and that kind of stuff more So anyway, yeah.
00:40:00
Speaker
But yeah, it was, it's really cute. Cause like the base, the, um, console base that you like stick the thing in is it had like mark it has like the little characters from animal crossing on there but aorre yeah and i really thought that he would be more into it than he was and then i remember you actually bought him one of those um was it tom oh yeah tom something what's his name tom nook yeah a tom nook head
00:40:30
Speaker
pillow that's right you got him that for his birthday that year that he got his switch her oh so cute yeah yeah i really loved that game ah and now i never play but yeah i never play that switch anymore yeah i know i still occasionally do go in and play it but uh i've not done so in quite a while and i don't know what i would do at this point um Yeah.

From Gaming to TV Relaxation

00:41:00
Speaker
But it's fine.
00:41:02
Speaker
It's fine. I've i've just never i've never been a huge gamer, and I also, like, what time do I have for gaming anymore? Mm-hmm. Right. You know?
00:41:12
Speaker
Same. Same, really. Yeah. I mean, I could do it on the weekends, but literally all I do now, if i if I can help it, all I do is literally lay on the bed and watch TV. Because... yeah I'm freaking tired and like ah nobody seems to understand nobody that I live with seems to understand that I literally need the entire weekend to just do nothing because i don't have much energy to do anything else like I need to relax and just like yeah recoup from the week my weeks are hard like 50 hour weeks are hard you know yeah yeah but um
00:41:54
Speaker
But I did get up and do three loads of laundry this weekend. Good. It needed to be done so bad. yeah oh Yeah. Anyway, what are we even talking about?

Closing Portals and Cycles

00:42:08
Speaker
Who even knows? Closing portals.
00:42:11
Speaker
Oh, yeah. We never even got into that. What the fuck? I mean, like, it's kind of... It's... It is what it is. um But like I kind of still feel like it's it's there's potential there. There's real potential there.
00:42:28
Speaker
um We'll see. Like I'm just it's I feel like it's the kind of thing that like will become clearer as time goes on.
00:42:40
Speaker
And like we can start to see the patterns as they like come out of the woodwork yeah i'm really curious to know what their definition of a portal is like what kind of portal no definition given yeah that's what i don't even remember what video it was i just remember it was one of the hundreds of tiktoks i've seen in the last week um but like you know just being like man you know with
00:43:16
Speaker
Closing a portal or you could call it a loop or a cycle or whatever. I mean, like years in and of themselves are cycles, obviously, but also like the the same way that, yeah, like when was the last time that there was a I was going to when was the last time that there was a like, you know, Thursday, the 18th of June, but that's probably going to be also 2020. I think that we have the same like day patterns.
00:43:51
Speaker
Actually, no, that's true. That's no. Because 2020 a leap year. hu So it wasn't exactly the same.
00:44:04
Speaker
And in fact, February wouldn't have had ah Friday the 13th in 2020. Right. Because it was a Friday the 14th or 12th.
00:44:18
Speaker
One of those.
00:44:20
Speaker
Yeah. I can't. I don't. I don't. 14th. It would have been the 14th. Yeah. So then we had 29 days. yeah it's just like you know when was the last time we had a year that mirrored this one exactly you know like it's just an interesting thing to ponder and like what happened at the time and you know what has changed since then and it's like you know you can it's it can be as deep as you want it to be and like
00:44:53
Speaker
you know, some things to consider might be like, how, yeah, how have you changed since

Pandemic's Long-term Effects

00:44:59
Speaker
then? What has happened to you? What have you learned? Where have you been? What have you done? And so many things because that was the year.
00:45:14
Speaker
Yeah. um I was going to become a CDL um trainer and i ended up dumping, that idea um i never got certified and then at the end of the year i found out that i could qualify for free schooling so i applied for that that's right and then i didn't end up starting the schooling until the following like september or whatever it was september october i do remember that too of 2021
00:45:48
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was crazy. There's a lot. what So much of it we have talked about through our many, many episodes.
00:46:02
Speaker
Yeah. You know, because it's been a lot of like spiritual and life lessons, you know, that we've reflected on or, you know, discussed as they've come up.
00:46:13
Speaker
But.
00:46:16
Speaker
You know, I think that for me personally, there's just like almost like ah like a stamp or a seal on this.
00:46:32
Speaker
Like if I'm going to treat it like a portal, if I'm going to treat it like ah a loop or a cycle that's closed, Like, it's like putting a layer of permanence on everything I've learned and everything that's changed for me since then.
00:46:51
Speaker
And like, not only like since specifically March 13th, 2020, but like all the lessons I was learning in the like six months to a year leading up to it.
00:47:06
Speaker
hmm. You know, because there was a lot going on before that, too. I remember. set me up like, you know, hard shadow work.
00:47:17
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. i um I remember, like, at some point near the beginning of the pandemic, you were really having a hard time feeling like things would ever get back to normal again. Yeah. And I was just, like, trying.
00:47:34
Speaker
was. Yeah. And I just remember... thinking about it and being like, it eventually will, it'll be kind of more of a new normal, but it's still going to go back to like, things will be open again. Businesses will be, you know, it functioning again and just things like that. And it was like, you were really, really, really scared about that. And I was just like, no, it's going to be fine. I said, cause there's always going to be rich people who are going to start new businesses. So yeah.
00:48:05
Speaker
you know i'm saying it's like eventually shit will you know get back to a functioning you know we'll be back to a functioning society or whatever and yeah and you i just remember you were just like don't know man i don't know well everyone was like that's the problem is that like it was such an unprecedented and like no one had any sort of like blueprint for how things were gonna go and so like all that we were seeing was not only like the very upsetting headlines and everything all the time but like also just the constant reminder of like nobody knows what's gonna happen right and like no one can predict and no one can

Mental Toll and Social Media

00:48:56
Speaker
guarantee anything and
00:49:00
Speaker
You know, it was on the heels of a tough breakup and it was quarantine and I was all alone, like so alone. yeah And like, no matter what's going on, when you are that isolated, you are not in an okay headspace. Right.
00:49:17
Speaker
And so like, it's kind of no wonder that I ended up like getting on that like dating apps during the pandemic you know which is of course how i met our homeboy jim uh like i was just desperate for friends or anybody anything yeah and i mean that's totally like understandable because we were all so secluded from each other For so long. And it was like we all needed some kind of like physical connection or, you know, face to face connection with somebody. yeah
00:50:04
Speaker
Yeah. That we weren't getting. and I will say like once I started to like. socialize you know either through message or like you know meeting up for like cautious dates uh you know like cautious that became uncautious but you know whatever uh like that's when i started to feel less hopeless and so i do think that the literal loneliness the literal isolation was like
00:50:37
Speaker
just gasoline on the fucking fire sure you know um
00:50:46
Speaker
and yeah it's it's just we're still in really dire circumstances uh new ones but you know equally a challenge equally distressing equally distressing equally like holy shit the world is never gonna look the same anymore like even though like it's not a matter of people contracting illnesses and dying but like you know harsh terrifying horrifying realities have been exposed and
00:51:27
Speaker
like we're not able to look at anything the same anymore.

Adapting to New Normals

00:51:33
Speaker
That is for sure. like the future and the past. That is for sure. So.
00:51:39
Speaker
that I think is the lesson maybe for here for now is, you know, to hearken back to the lesson of 2020 where things felt dire, things felt, you you know, terrifying and uncertain. And we had to understand that
00:52:05
Speaker
Somehow we would eventually arrive at some sort of new normal. and so we'll have to apply that lesson to to now as well.
00:52:19
Speaker
True. Yeah. That is true. Indeed. Maybe that's your full circle moment for closing the portal. Yeah.
00:52:30
Speaker
You know, closing the loop. It'll be something I think I'm going to be reflecting on. And maybe sometime after March 13th, 2026, we'll reflect and see if we've observed anything with each ah like our respective lives.
00:52:52
Speaker
h So we'll see. Yes, we will. Indeed. you crazy, though.
00:53:03
Speaker
I know. Oh my gosh. And the funny thing is because really that summer was the first time I ever really watched or, i you know, the first time I started using Tik TOK. Right.
00:53:15
Speaker
Right. And the other day i started to think about the kind of videos that we were watching back then. and I remember there were so many of the, um,
00:53:29
Speaker
Oh my God. Give me one second. Oh my God. I hate that because I just had it on the tip of my tongue. um Glitch in the Matrix videos.
00:53:39
Speaker
Yeah.

TikTok Trends and Social Media Evolution

00:53:40
Speaker
And like how eerie some of them were. And I was just like, what the hell happened to those? Like, I don't ever get videos like that anymore on TikTok. It's all politics. I do sometimes. Or healing from narcissistic abuse or you know, or real estate. Yeah. who they Come tour this old, you know, cottage in Hollywood with me, you know, videos. But like, I like I want to see like the weird shit like that. That really makes you wonder.
00:54:13
Speaker
um that gives you the creeps a little bit like ooh could that have really happened like that's so crazy honestly 2020 TikTok was some like next level shit yeah like I wish we could just portal back to our for you pages in 2020 I really really got into um energy manipulation videos like witchcrafty ones where people could use their mind and focus their energy and make stuff move and i was just like oh my god i have to do that yeah i want to do that but oh yeah boy yeah but yeah anywho
00:55:09
Speaker
oh i think that's our episode i think it is Thank y'all for joining us.

Audience Engagement

00:55:15
Speaker
e And it's, I mean, a little early, but also it'll be, you know, the same week that we're releasing this. Happy Friday the 13th.
00:55:28
Speaker
yes happy closing the portal from 2020 and honestly if y'all have any insights on portals that might be closing what either on like a global collective scale or personal scales um I'm super curious yeah but so would IB as well yeah so you should email us where can they do that Christina they can email us at soulpodthepodcast at gmail.com Yeah, please. We love getting emails. And if they, if y'all want to follow us on Instagram, even though I don't remember the last time I posted on our Instagram, except for to announce that we were not going to post an episode a few weeks ago.
00:56:17
Speaker
ah You can follow us at SoulPod the podcast. Fuck yeah. And You could just go there and check out our old posts because there's pictures of us on there. True. When we was little things. Indeed. Indeed. Youngins.
00:56:34
Speaker
Yeah. Some good shit over there. But we also got good shit on our Patreon. Yeah. oh fuck well yeah way way way good shit on patreon even better shit than instagram frankly so you know you should go check out our patreon it's also a great way to support the show and what is that url sweet ma www.patreon.com slash SoulPod the podcast.
00:57:04
Speaker
Bitches! I love it. Your voice just went so high. Patreon.com I'm not usually high-pitched person, but sometimes it geeks squeaks out of me.
00:57:21
Speaker
Every so often. Oh my god. so good.

Playful Conclusion

00:57:27
Speaker
ah but yeah check out our stuff links are below uh in the meantime in between time we'll be back again next week we and we hope you guys have a beautiful week and night and day and pickles and back doors
00:57:48
Speaker
i don't understand anything anymore