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91. Let's Get Real About Mental Health
12 Plays24 days ago
Molly gets raw with some big news - better things are on the horizon.
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Hosts: Christina Bell & Molly Wilde
Music: The Confrontation, by Jonathan Boyle, licensed from Premium Beats by Shutterstock
Editing: Molly Wilde
Disclaimer: The purpose of this podcast is for entertainment and enjoyment. We are not professionals in any regard. We do not have professional knowledge, training, or education in physical health, mental health, or spiritual matters. Any suggestions or recommendations made during our episodes should be independently researched by the listener before considering implementation, or better yet, listeners should ignore everything we say. We cannot be held responsible or liable for anything we say, or any actions taken by any persons as a result of listening to our podcast episodes. Stay safe, stay informed, stay smart.
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Transcript
Delayed Start Due to Personal Matters
00:00:22
Speaker
what up welcome back to the soul soul pod the podcast of the podcast soul i don't know sad pod the soul cast pod the soul cast love it oh my god that is iconic ah ah thought this all gas ah Goddamn. We're finally starting to record like 50 minutes later than we intended to start. Yeah, dude. We just sat... I mean, like, we had a lot to, like, catch up on for, like, betwixt each other. Like, betwixt ourselves. Betwixt. I love that word.
00:01:02
Speaker
um And so, like, we had a lot that we were just talking about. Like, you know, we've... We obviously did not record last week, so we didn't get a chance to catch up.
00:01:12
Speaker
Then. And... haven't had a phone call, haven't had like extensive messaging, Right. Between ourselves ah for a little while. um So there's just a lot to talk about. um a lot of it being like logistical administrative shit between ourselves, like not just about the podcast, but like, here's how like, you know, I have this appointment at this time and like, blah, blah, blah, bla blah. And, you know, stuff like that, which is just like, oh, so like,
00:01:46
Speaker
super interesting y'all wow um which is why we weren't recording the whole time um god but uh now we finally hit record and i don't know what this episode's gonna turn into but it's gonna be something but boy have we been a mess lately no fucking topics we're just like whatever who fucking cares honestly though that's gonna factor into what i do want to talk about today yeah which is not a not a topic but just a thing i'm talking about but it does factor in it's relevant um so yeah uh and do we just dive straight in go for it yay uh
00:02:37
Speaker
uh and it's here i am i feel like i'm amping up to like announce to everybody like some crazy big like oh my god like but no that's not what this is nothing crazy you guys only good things this is the opposite of sad pod the soul cast but i don't know what that is uh I don't know what to call it yet, but we'll find out. um It's the things might be getting better cast. I don't
Addressing Scheduling Conflicts and Mental Health
00:03:06
Speaker
know. um
00:03:09
Speaker
So like, yeah as like mentioned before this past week that we had to take a break from recording because we could not get our schedules to work out. It wasn't too much longer before that. We also had to take a break. And that was like a very much like mental health. Like we're both just sort of losing our minds.
00:03:30
Speaker
kind of situation you know i posted all those memes that's like that's the only thing on our instagram is announcements that we're not posting and memes ah so follow us on instagram if you want to know when you're not gonna get an episode from us um god damn but like mental health is the the key word here um because I've been... It's no secret. I gab about it all the fucking time whenever we record. About how shit has been hard.
00:04:06
Speaker
Hard. Like... Work has been For long time. Work has been hard, and it has taken a major toll my mental health, but also... My mental health has just been rough, like, overarchingly.
00:04:19
Speaker
And it's, you know, when it all feels like shit, it's hard to decipher, like, what shit comes from where. you Yeah. So, like, or what's shit and what's actually not shit. Right. Yeah. But it's like, oh, how much of this is like my, you know, work stress versus my CPTSD versus my generalized anxiety, like, you know, or versus all the random like shit that's coming up in my daily life like that, you know. period of time in February when I was just getting hit left and right with bullshit in every yeah facet of my life. Like at that point, I was just like, this is this is bullshit. Like work was hard, but like everything else was bullshit. Like, I was like, that sucks. um
00:05:09
Speaker
So point sort of being like, it's just when it all mixes together in your life, it's like, really, you really can't distinguish what, where it's all coming from all the time or how much is coming from which sources of stress um you just have to sort of trust like there's a lot going on and there's got to be a way to like relieve some of this right um And that's where my like announcement, effectively, comes into play here.
Paid FMLA Leave Approval for Mental Health
00:05:46
Speaker
And it's not... Again, it's not an announcement. I'm not just being like lo like... What I have been able to make happen in my life feels miraculous. I am putting so much gratitude gratitude into the universe ah for this.
00:06:06
Speaker
But I... you know, through the recommendation of multiple mental health professionals and other health professionals that are my providers, uh, have come to understand that FMLA is a thing.
00:06:27
Speaker
And in particular in Massachusetts, it is paid. um Provided you give adequate medical certification for necessity of it.
00:06:40
Speaker
And then they approve your application. um My application has been approved. As of right now, I am looking at eight weeks, which, you know, is open to being extended.
00:07:00
Speaker
We'll see where I feel, like how I'm feeling and about like, you know, five to six weeks in maybe. i don't know exactly how like far in advance of the, you know, return date I already submitted. I'm not sure how that works, but I'm going to figure it out as we go.
Explaining FMLA in Massachusetts
00:07:21
Speaker
um But right now looking at about eight weeks, potentially more of time where I don't have to work and I will, I will still get income to be able to pay to live in a house with electricity and internet.
00:07:43
Speaker
but I'll still be able to pay my bills. and like, it's, you know, FMLA is, ah you know, a right for anybody living in this country.
00:07:57
Speaker
But most places, most states, it's unpaid. Including Michigan. Including Michigan. But it's like, when I say most states, I mean like 48 out of 50, I think. Yeah. I don't know which other states provide pay, but it's not many others and it's not as much as Massachusetts.
00:08:19
Speaker
Massachusetts, I think, has the most, like the highest amount of pay that they will offer and the most amount of time.
00:08:30
Speaker
That's awesome. Maximum amount of time is 20 weeks that you can take for personal medical leave. Yeah. Medical, which also includes mental health. Per year. Yes. Per year. Although I think it's that i I'm not sure if that means that like it's per like calendar year versus like.
00:08:47
Speaker
you know, you need to wait 12 months before you can start another leave. um Because, you know, if I were to take the full 20 weeks, my return date would be like early November.
00:09:01
Speaker
And then I don't think that my like, I just I find it hard to believe that like, two months later in January, I'd be able to be like, I'm gonna go on leave again. Right? Like, I don't think it works that way. Probably not.
00:09:14
Speaker
I think that it would be I'd have to wait until November, 2027. Yeah. Before ah applying again. Like I'd have to wait till the end, a year from the end of the previous leave, I think.
00:09:30
Speaker
Or but maybe from the. Information is all on websites that I just haven't looked at. Yeah. Cause I'm not, my hope is not to have to take repetitive leave. Yeah. Yeah.
00:09:42
Speaker
I don't want to. Like, i don't want to have to do it like I don't. This is for the record. This is not going to be months long vacation. oh This is a months long. Like, I need to get my life back to a place of like feeling like a human being. Yeah.
00:10:03
Speaker
And not just a constant paralyzed ball of stress. Yeah. Who can't even like properly. you know do a dish who struggles to like get in the shower yeah you know like this is ye one might call it burnout um you know whether it's professional burnout or like neurodivergent burnout like adhd burnout ultimately i don't think it matters like it's burnout yeah and it's probably an extreme like
00:10:39
Speaker
level of and extreme case oh nothing medically happens to me that isn't extreme let's just be fair yeah let's be real here like every case everything that i have just gets pushed to the worst possible scenario yeah yeah before i finally manage to figure out how to deal with it um and also to be fair my mental health has been like a factor and like present on the forefront of my mind and in my daily life since i was like 18 so like it actually really backpedaling more like 13 but like it was when i was like 18 19 when i finally started to like actually seek help yeah um
00:11:37
Speaker
you know Before that, it was like, oh, obviously this girl is depressed.
Long-term Mental Health Journey
00:11:40
Speaker
But like I was you know a minor and couldn't really like do anything about it yeah um so But point being, like i don't I don't necessarily think that it's just been boiling and getting worse and worse over that whole period of time. I've definitely had easier periods of my life.
00:12:04
Speaker
where things were just better and I was able to cope more. And I even went like three ish years where I didn't even go to therapy because I felt okay.
00:12:20
Speaker
um And you know, when I went back to therapy, it was to deal with the stuff that I didn't want to talk about in my first round of therapy. Yeah, because like, didn't you actually have some epiphanies on your own during the time that you weren't in therapy? And then you were able to finally kind of talk about some of that stuff when you went back?
00:12:43
Speaker
Not necessarily. It was more like I was just sort of realizing, oh, like yeah I was it was more that I was confronted. by those deeper bigger issues i really didn't i don't recall having any epiphanies about anything mental health related while i wasn't in therapy but it was manageable like my life was manageable at the time and so like i and i'm not going to get into the details of those things but like point sort of being there were uh you know there was a short list of
00:13:18
Speaker
Serious, deep rooted issues that I was not prepared to confront through my all like all of my college years. yeah and it would be like literally so much so to the point that my therapist at the time was aware But like when she would gently try to bring it up, I'd be like, I would shut down effectively. And it was like a very self-aware, like I i recognize I'm shutting down, but it's, I literally can't deal with this.
00:13:48
Speaker
Like I cannot look at that right now. And it was just, you know, there was so much else that I also had to, like, work through. And so that's fine. You know, if we if we can't look at this big scary monster, there's tons else to look at, you know, in the meantime, until you're ready. Like, it was not like those years of therapy were unproductive. They were extremely productive.
00:14:13
Speaker
but there were things that were emotionally to me off limits and therefore they became off limits when I, you know, was in sessions with my therapist. a set Essentially. things Oh, just, I was just saying, those were the things that I finally realized, like,
00:14:36
Speaker
it's i i'm able to look at those now right and that's when i you know found a new therapist in 2021 so essentially molly is an onion everyone is an onion but you know what i'm saying you had to peel back the top layers first before you could get down to the the hard stuff the stinky stuff yeah the real stinky stuff the real stinky stuff holy shit um But also onions are so delicious when you cook them.
00:15:10
Speaker
I love onions even raw. That's true. They're good. I actually really do enjoy biting into like crunchy onion. I love a good um red onions on salad.
00:15:25
Speaker
Crunchy red onions on salad or on sandwiches really. ah dude. This is such a sidebar, but here we go. One of my favorite sandwiches, like sub sub sandwiches that I like to get from the pizza place down the street is a pastrami Reuben, which comes with, you know, I'm pretty sure it comes with sauerkraut and the ah rest Russian dressing.
00:15:51
Speaker
But I like to add raw onions and pickles. I add stink to the stinky sandwich. Is it Russian dressing or is it Thousand Island dressing?
00:16:06
Speaker
um They're not too different, frankly. um I don't know what they specify on their menu. I just know that it go it's whatever goes on a Reuben usually. um But they're not too different. And I actually usually keep a bottle of Russian dressing here.
00:16:25
Speaker
And I add more Russian dressing to that sub when I get it. Okay. It's so good. it sounds good. I'm going to have to get that too. I mean, and there's so many places that I, that we always say like we each have to go to when we visit each other, but like, right. That sounds really good. And I just want to like get it how you just described it because I mean, pickles and onions. hell Yeah. Yeah.
00:16:53
Speaker
I, uh, I love it. I just love a Reuben. You know, I actually had Reuben today. oh I love it. It was from Culver's though. I've never had the Culver's Reuben. Why do I feel like I, the one of the few times I have gone to Culver's with you, because that's the only time I've been, i feel like I've gotten a Reuben. I don't know.
00:17:15
Speaker
But I've had Arby's Rubens and they're also pretty good. Yeah. But yeah. You really can't go. I know it's it's a love it or hate it sort of thing. But pastrami.
00:17:28
Speaker
It's that's fucking that's good food. I love pastrami, dude. I love pastrami. I love roast beef. ah I love like a lot of the meats that a lot of people seem to not really care for.
00:17:41
Speaker
you know. And then the like the super bland ones. I'm like me I have hergie like I don't have any particular like I don't particularly love pastrami. i don't have anything against it but like most of the meats that are kind of considered deli meats that are really super processed I just don't usually eat um a lot of them.
00:18:05
Speaker
You know? Yeah. But i don't know i uh i would i would do it i would eat that because it sounds good but um i love pastrami i love corned beef i like i love chipped beef i love pe oh jesus oh yeah don't get me going on the chipped beef dude i know i talked about that met that about it that recipe before right the chicken oh my god got a whole big layer of chipped beef on the bottom of the pan oh yes oh and it gives it all the flavor it's so bad youre good oh but like i here's another thing though too i will absolutely i haven't done it much because you know work and mental health and just not having the time and energy and bandwidth but when i have the opportunity to build my own ruben
00:19:03
Speaker
Oh my god. When I get to choose the proportions, do you understand how much fucking sauerkraut goes on that sandwich? Oh man, I love sauerkraut. Oh, it's so fucking much sauerkraut. It's more than anybody else would ever want. The sandwich is for me.
00:19:23
Speaker
Just put a big bowl of sauerkraut next to it and take a big bite of sauerkraut with every bite your sandwich. No, it needs to go on the sandwich. It has to have the Russian dressing mixed into it practically. it needs to have the fucking Swiss cheese melted onto it. oh God.
00:19:43
Speaker
I love a stinky sandwich.
00:19:46
Speaker
I love a stinky Oh my god.
00:19:50
Speaker
God. i love a stinky food, honestly. Speaking of food, like restaurants that we say we need to go to. um The one in Boston, or really more like Somerville, Cambridge, Cambridge,
00:20:06
Speaker
ah that we had intended to go to when you were here for Thanksgiving in 2024, which we were prevented from going to because of my car troubles, ah was that German restaurant. Oh, yeah. oh Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's Cambridge. I think it's like close to Davis. Oh, my God. I can't wait.
00:20:28
Speaker
We will have to do that. um It is for anybody who's curious, because I know I have some Boston listeners, whether you're not, you're like my friends who I know, like, doesn't matter. you really you live in Boston. ah This place is called Bronwen.
00:20:47
Speaker
B-R-O-N-W-E-N. Mm-hmm. and it is it looks like a medieval german pub i know i can't be inside and the food the food looks disgusting it's probably amazing why i wrote it nasty in the best way I will definitely be having steins of beer.
00:21:19
Speaker
he's Good. I won't. i do I am not a beer person. But I will have so many brats.
00:21:30
Speaker
Brats. Brats. Oh, I'm so excited. But yeah. I love the pickled like the pickled red cabbage situations. Oh my god. yeah It's almost like sauerkraut, but not quite.
00:21:45
Speaker
Yeah, it's just like a slightly different, a little less intense, I think. But still so good. Fuck. Anyway.
00:21:58
Speaker
So.
Need for Change and Emphasis on Self-Care
00:21:59
Speaker
So. Basically, to go back to my original point, mental health has always been like present in my life as like a factor.
00:22:09
Speaker
But it has just things have gotten unmanageable. lately and something had to give and for me that was like i just have to be able to like take a step back and have time in my schedule like daily schedule to like slowly do the things i need to do to take care of myself so that i can relearn what it feels like to do those things yeah
00:22:44
Speaker
You know, because it's gone so far by the wayside over the course of many years that like it to try to force myself to like reincorporate these things on such an intense, like rigorous work schedule with intense, rigorous, like work stress.
00:23:07
Speaker
It's not going to work. Right. It hasn't been working. I've been wanting to be able to. take better care of myself for a long time. so it's like, it's at the point where it's like, I don't need to try harder. I need something different.
00:23:21
Speaker
Yeah. You need a break. Yeah. And so like, this is me not trying harder, but choosing something different.
00:23:33
Speaker
Yep. um I'm really glad you're doing it. I'm really, really like I'm really, really glad that you um are lucky enough to have it paid. Yeah. yeah pay That I even can.
00:23:48
Speaker
Like, I literally cannot emphasize enough how like grateful I am that I can. okay It like, it does not, i will not ever take that for granted.
00:24:05
Speaker
um So yeah. And you know, my intention i'm not not gonna sit here and make all these like grand you know extravagant promises to the universe like i will do the all this and this and this and everything will be perfect no that is not how i operate um and it's also like it feels so fake and disingenuous to do shit like that but i will say here's what i'm hoping for i'm hoping for time to meditate that's awesome
00:24:39
Speaker
Every day. ah I need that so bad. And I just like, you know, I feel like a fraud because when we first when we first fucking started this podcast, we did like a topic on meditation. yeah And I was like talking all this big shit about meditation.
00:24:58
Speaker
Never fucking do it. Oh, my God. I'm a fraud. No, shut the fuck up, bitch, because here's the thing. Whether or not we do it is completely unrelated to the value that it holds as a practice.
00:25:21
Speaker
And the fact that we're allowed to talk about it as a topic. Yeah, we talk about it because we understand the value of it And like we also, you know, even if we haven't had it as a daily practice, I used to many, many years ago, i was doing it daily. um i don't think you've ever been able to do it daily, but you've done it in ways in in in instances where you have derived benefit from it.
00:25:49
Speaker
Like you've you have seen the positive effects in your life of doing it, even if you've not done it every single day a stretch of time. Yeah.
00:26:01
Speaker
And so, like, I think that that is all the qualification we need to be able to have, like, a podcast episode talk but topic about it, you know? Yeah. Like, that, so, case in point, you're not a fraud.
00:26:18
Speaker
Well, thank you. Like, you're welcome. I'm here to, you know, pull on your leash whenever you start, like, freaking out and being like, I'm the worst! No, you're not!
00:26:30
Speaker
No, you're not. Okay. So, but yeah, I am intending and hoping to bring back meditation in my life.
00:26:43
Speaker
To bring back, oh, using the acupressure mat every day. i forgot you even had that. Oh my God. That shit is so great. I love it. um to I intend to...
00:26:56
Speaker
Every so often, this is not going to be a daily thing because I cannot put this sort of pressure on myself. It's very bad for my mental health to do so. But I do intend to reincorporate movement in whatever form feels good. Whether that's just stretching or a little bit of light yoga or some of that like spooky witchy trance dancing Nordic music around my apartment.
00:27:25
Speaker
Or... I do have a gym membership now and I do like to weight train. Sometimes I think probably on my like higher energy days is when I'm going to use that, you know, just go and use their like weight training equipment and you know, it'll be good.
Reintroducing Movement and Exercise
00:27:45
Speaker
Yeah. But again, this is not something that I'm going to put a ton of pressure on myself because I have a history of like,
00:27:53
Speaker
you know, major body dysmorphia and major body image issues. And and certain instances of my life, fucking eating disorders, you know?
00:28:05
Speaker
So I'm not going ham in that territory. Right. I won't. i' i refuse. I will do what I need to do to feel better in my general life ha and I will do it to the capacity that I feel is possible and not push myself. That's as it should be.
00:28:31
Speaker
as it should be. Yeah. um So that is another thing that I am ah anticipating and hoping to be able to reintroduce in my life um spell work this is not specifically mental health or physical health related but spell work i would like to be doing more of and so again as it feels right as i have the time as i have the bandwidth as we have to keep i keep reminding myself and i'm going to like sort of over time be reminding myself and the podcast like priority one is resting i'm
00:29:09
Speaker
<unk> well Physical resting, mental resting, emotional resting. I'm not going to say I need spiritual rest because frankly, that's been super inactive for me lately.
00:29:23
Speaker
um Which is why I'm like, okay, i I feel okay with like diving back into spell work. But again, with the caveat of I'm not overburdening myself.
00:29:35
Speaker
I'm not diving into this time being like, I'm going to do all these things. It's like, no, you know what I'm going to do the first week? I'm going to sleep. Yeah. I'm going fucking sleep. Cause I took, here's here's the thing.
00:29:50
Speaker
Here's the thing, friends, podcast listeners, listen to me. I talked about how I took that week long vacation a few weeks ago, the staycation. And I stayed at home and I just like, you know,
00:30:05
Speaker
did my thing hung out at home. I had a whole vacation. Then I had two days back at work and then we had Memorial Day weekend.
00:30:15
Speaker
h After my whole vacation, where i allowed myself to sleep as much as I needed to, like, I, you know, slept in, not super late, but like, you know, nine or 10 in the morning each day. And I took naps when I felt like it, like I was not,
00:30:34
Speaker
pushing myself at all through throughout my vacation i had two to those two days back at work and then memorial day weekend every single day of memorial day weekend which was just three days but like bear with me i woke up after noon wow i woke up at like 1209 or 1215 or twelve fifteen every single day and that's i going to bed at a normal time like that you would normally go to bed at yeah like you know if normal is super super vague because i don't think i have a strict bedtime but like around midnight when i'm used to like waking up at like
00:31:18
Speaker
eight yeah something yeah on like when i work from home that's usually when i work wake up um regardless sleeping in even to like 11 is abnormal for me and i hate it you hate it i hate sleeping in o i really do i lose the fucking day i hate it so i was pissed Honestly, I got so pissed after that. and But it here's what it taught me, though.
00:31:54
Speaker
I had just taken a fucking week long vacation and I was that tired still. h like holy shit or two days of work just took enough back out of you that you need yeah it was so stressful oh my god like it it's almost like it didn't matter that i had just taken a vacation where i didn't even go anywhere yeah like i just stayed at home and i was still that fucking tired
00:32:26
Speaker
Like, luckily at that point, I was already planning on this and I had already like applied, you know, submitted my application to to do this leave.
00:32:36
Speaker
But like, dear God, that was a very clear sign that I need this. You know, that's why i say like, it's my intention for the first week. I'm sleeping.
00:32:48
Speaker
Yeah. I'm sleeping as much as I can. Like, I don't care. The last couple of weekends for me, um well, I don't know about last couple of weekends, but this past weekend, both days, Saturday and Sunday, oh i'm trying to remember when was Memorial Day. I don't know. Whatever. two weekends ago. Yeah.
00:33:14
Speaker
So maybe maybe something like this happened during that weekend as well. But I slept in later than normal for me. um like I think I would wake up maybe around six something and go pee or something, but I'd come back to bed and I was waking up around 10. And like, that's just totally not normal for me. I mean, like it would be normal for me if I didn't have anybody else in this house, but like normally. they have Yeah. Like getting up and making noise. My kid would come in and wake me up and, you know, want something from me. Yeah. Can I buy Roblox or can I have breakfast or whatever?
00:33:59
Speaker
Always wanting something from me. And I'm just like, leave me alone. um No, but like, he didn't really bother me this past weekend. So I was able to sleep in and that was amazing. Like, and surprisingly, even my husband like allowed it and didn't actually say anything to me because honest to God,
00:34:21
Speaker
Like I've slept in that late before and he's given me all kinds of shit for that. But then he'll go and take a three hour nap in the middle of the day when we could be doing something as a family or whatever. You know what i mean? yeah It's like, okay, well you can take your fricking nap, but you won't let me sleep in till 10. Okay. Yeah. So I was surprised even he kept his mouth shut about it. Yeah.
00:34:44
Speaker
Yeah. like honest to god dude like i really do believe that i at my core am a morning person like it doesn't feel that way right now literally because of the burnout yeah like it's just not possible because i am like broken yeah and i i don't say that in like a like i'm broken but like in like a something's not working no i totally um get it and so like but like i have god i think of like before i moved into this apartment and before you know before i was still living with my ex um there was a stretch of time that i was waking up at like 5 or 5 30 remember that
00:35:37
Speaker
i remember that And yeah, because you were, you're always awake at that time. work But like, I was consistently waking up that early and like taking my time, making breakfast, sitting and reading, journaling. Like I was doing all these things for me, not like, because I was like, I'm just changing. I'm like fixing my life. It's like, no, this is what I want to be doing.
00:36:04
Speaker
I want to spend my days. And it was also like I think it was when I was still going to the office every single day, like but when I was still working AR and i had to like go and deposit checks. I had to be there every single day. it was like, I was doing that and then commuting, but then also, you know, start time was at 9am and not 8am.
00:36:26
Speaker
Oh my God. That's right. So it was like, if I woke up at, if I woke up at five o'clock in the morning, I'd have about three and a half hours to myself before I had to get in the car to go to work.
00:36:39
Speaker
but now but if wake up at 5 or 5 30 which again has not been possible um i have two hours that's it two hours total to like take care of myself and that's like that's really early right now for me like it's not like I said not possible um so it's just like ultimately i have no time in the morning to take care of myself or yeah like do anything for me you know like yeah that's like impossibly early in the morning and it's just not doable for me at this point in my life but like when I say that it's like because of that experience I already had of like
00:37:29
Speaker
Doing so much for myself in the mornings and like doing it fully for me alone. Mm-hmm.
00:37:40
Speaker
And feeling so good in general. Like that's kind of my biggest clue. Like I think I really am a morning person. And like at my best, I wake up early with the sun, which midsummer here, sunrise is like 515 in the morning.
00:37:57
Speaker
Mm-hmm. um like literally right around midsummer as in ah Litha. Yeah. Oh my God. um But like, you know, wake up with the sun and get those like super early morning sun rays in my eyes and like just vibe and do my thing.
00:38:17
Speaker
You know, it's really funny. i have had visions of myself throughout I don't know, the last 20 years, not and any, not anytime recently. I haven't thought about this and in a while, but I've had this, excuse me. I've had this vision in the past of myself on a porch with my coffee watching the sunrise.
00:38:44
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Not this house, necessarily. Just a house somewhere. On a nice porch in a rocking chair. Even if I'm bundled up in a in a warm robe and shit.
00:38:55
Speaker
Like, just on the porch with my coffee watching the sunrise. Yeah. And, like, I have kind of wanted to do that. But, like...
00:39:06
Speaker
The way my life has been, i have no desire to get up early in the morning. Like when we had our, was it solstice? so Summer solstice yeah so together? Yeah, solstice last year. And you guys wanted to watch the sunrise in the morning? i was just like, y'all go ahead. It's like I'm sleeping because I need sleep way more than anything else right now. No, but like, I'm so serious. Like, I was glad to do that. Like, I wanted to. But like, holy shit.
00:39:34
Speaker
i i went to sleep I went to bed at like 3.30 that morning. And then that's like, you know, two hours later when I think it was Sierra came in and like woke me up because she knew that I wanted to get up for the sunrise.
00:39:55
Speaker
And so, but I was like not even fully asleep most of that time, yeah those two hours. So like, I just like, I was glad I did that, but holy shit, I was not rested.
00:40:07
Speaker
No. And then were you even able to go back to sleep after you watched the sunrise? Not really. Oh my God. I, um, part of the problem was like no air conditioning in that room. oh yeah and so like if i was going to sleep it was going to be in the living room which like also wasn't gonna happen yeah too many people were starting to be awake and stuff so like i think i tried to but i don't really think i was just so fucking tired that whole day yeah but yeah like that was beautiful and absolutely worthwhile but like god but bitch i'm serious
00:40:47
Speaker
Now, well, i don't again, i don't know when your neck's going to be here, but it almost doesn't matter. We have that cushion now on the bench outside.
00:40:59
Speaker
o It's comfortable to go outside and sit oh like on that bench now. Okay. So like we can make morning time porch coffee happen.
Envisioning a Peaceful Morning Routine
00:41:10
Speaker
Ask me hot coffee, Molly. Not for me. No. No, I'm saying for me, need a hot coffee. Yeah, that's fine. I'll make you a hot coffee. I'm drinking cold beer.
00:41:23
Speaker
I don't care what you drink. I'm just saying. I don't know if it's possible to get hot coffee at your house, and that's why I said that. Yeah, it is. Oh, my God, it is. Yeah, every time. I have a tiny little coffee maker, which I actually haven't really used because don't make hot coffee enough. But I have a pour-over kit.
00:41:43
Speaker
Oh, that's right. That's how I made coffee for you on Thanksgiving. Okay. And for both of us, really. um Because i I'll drink hot coffee when it's cold. But most of the time I like it cold, like iced coffee. um But I also have a French press.
00:42:01
Speaker
Okay. And so like, and maybe I made it in the front. No, I didn't get the French press until after you were last year. um But I do have a French press. It's very, very good. French press is such good coffee.
00:42:13
Speaker
um And so like, i I will be able to make hot coffee for you. Sweet. yet So yeah, we'll we'll make it happen. I'm excited.
00:42:25
Speaker
Yeah. And now I'm reminding myself, okay, I'm not going to be beholden to a schedule soon in the mornings. And I'll be able to just do porch coffee by myself.
00:42:37
Speaker
Yay. Ideally early because I like to get up early, like I have said, but it doesn't have to be. It could be 8am. doesn't have to be 6am. So question.
00:42:49
Speaker
You can see the sunrise from your porch. Yeah. not the sunrise because there's like not a clear horizon because of trees but i mean the sun comes up like from that angle yeah the porch is on the eastern side of the building got you um i mean i have technically have a front porch but it's just like front step yeah um like yours just a front step um But the porch itself is really, it's kind more like a back deck. It's like a concrete slab. But it has, you know, outdoor furniture on it that just haven't had a cushion on them for multiple years. And finally, I went to Ocean State Job Lot, I think it was.
00:43:36
Speaker
which is a very New England thing and you don't know what it is. and that's yeah I've never heard of that. You know what Big Lots is. Yes. It's like a Big Lots, but it's specific. like It's a regional New England thing. okay and it's very much It's very much like a Big Lots.
00:43:53
Speaker
But yeah, Ocean City Job Lot, they just have all sorts of random shit and including like outdoor furniture cushions. What I ended up finding is this This bench that it we found that we have, that's, you know, it was here before I moved into this building. um It's like really long and the seats are big. Like it's not like ah your average, like standard outdoor chair size. Yeah.
00:44:22
Speaker
like I was thinking, oh, we'll find like three cushions because it's like a three-person sofa size kind of thing. um I was like, oh, we'll find three cushions that just have to fit these dimensions, like 24 by 24. That doesn't fucking exist.
00:44:39
Speaker
Oh my god, really? like we weren't finding any cushions bigger than 19 inches. hu um which And I was like, i just I don't want gaps. That's stupid. So what we ended up finding was...
00:44:51
Speaker
A cushion that goes on like a recliner, like a reclining poolside chair. Yeah, that makes sense. Because it was like just about the right dimensions, the right length and the right depth. Okay. To cover the full bench of this like big bench. And they're sewn together like.
00:45:13
Speaker
Like like it it's all one piece. Yeah. but with like It doesn't have seams to fold. No, it does. Oh, okay. That's what I meant. It's like, but it's all together. It's the right length. And so we just laid it across the whole bench. Right.
00:45:27
Speaker
Like, I think I sent you a picture. So you know what it looks like. I just don't remember. It's been a while. Um, but like we just bit the bull. It was like $50. So we just went and like bought that so we could actually like sit and enjoy being outside. Hell yeah, dude. So I will be taking advantage of that. Um, good God.
00:45:49
Speaker
But yeah, so that's kind of the gist here. And like, kind of as like a long story long. Like, i I mean, like all ah our breaks have not all just been like, on me, like we both have shit going on. We both like have been dealing with shit that we're not all like we're not fully like talking about yet no um but like no my life has gotten more complicated for sure but my kiddos baseball has started back up again for the season and and it started earlier than last year so that's two days a week and then um he's got another obligation now
00:46:35
Speaker
on a third day of the week and that just started today just like right right oh but i have i will have two weeks um yeah for my break in in a couple like you know at the end of this month it'll start yeah and it's not necessarily that we're also being like hey like shit's about to get so much better now like for the podcast like we're it's not like we're being like it's gonna be fine like we're working through our shit. We're, we're, we're working on it, but like, it is my hope that, you know, with the wiggle room that I'm about to have in my like daily day-to-day life that, uh, I can start to like put together a little more structured content for y'all.
00:47:31
Speaker
So, okay. you know Like, it's i i like to do it it's not that i feel obligated it's that i like to and i want to yeah so anyway cool so that's just about it for me i have one question yes what is your question um let me let me start by saying outlander um oh god oh no outlander has now ended and i finished the entire thing so okay um i want to know if you who are thinking at all about catching up on it honestly now that i'm looking at a shit ton of more time to myself
00:48:25
Speaker
I don't see why not. um Here's what I will say. And this is, this is, you know, this is a big deal for me to admit.
00:48:39
Speaker
As the seasons have gone on, I've liked it less and less. ah I, I still love it. It's still a beautiful show and it does a great, you know, great storytelling, wonderful actors. We're fucking obsessed with them.
00:48:57
Speaker
i just i don't know it starting around like season four and five four i was still like 100 on board five i was starting to be like oh i don't really care for the direction this is headed i'm not really into it um it's unfortunate that that's the case but like It just, it is. Okay. It is what it is. And so that's, I think why I've not had a huge fire under my ass to, to keep watching like right on schedule. um
00:49:35
Speaker
But I, I have, you know, enough of a care and enough of a respect, obviously for it that I feel like I will finish it.
00:49:49
Speaker
So cool. because i'm just real i'm real like curious to hear want to talk about it yeah and yeah and i just want to hear what you think about how everything has played out at the end so um so here's here's uh you know question for a question or rather i'll just cushy i'll start yeah Yeah. um i I had been listening to that on audio for a while and then I was like, now I'm not like listening to anything on audio right now. Yeah. Just because you can't like while you're driving and stuff. Yeah.
00:50:27
Speaker
Yeah. um And that's been a hard listen like because my mind wanders too much and I start missing all kinds of fucking detail. Yeah. um So it's really hard to like listen while I'm like, just, it's hard for me to listen to an audio book. That's like that because it's really dense and long and it's like, it's too much for my brain to take in. um So, I mean, I'm still trying, but it's been a while since I have tried. Yeah, no. But yeah, like,
00:51:08
Speaker
I think I already said so. And I think you also already started to, but listening to the breakdown of it on the which bitch amateur hour. Yeah.
00:51:21
Speaker
um Does a world of good in understanding what's actually happening. Like, you know, it's, you know, obviously you get a different experience and actually listening to the audio book and like taking in all of those details, like verbatim from the book.
00:51:39
Speaker
But to have the baseline like understanding of like here's who this person is. Here's like as a reminder, or let's not forget this happened. You know, like it's affecting this thing now. Like all of those like nitty gritty like pull like pulling the web together kind of details and work. Macy of the Witch Bitch Amateur Hour did a fucking fantastic job. Mm hmm.
00:52:07
Speaker
I have listened to some of it. Yeah. So like, I would say, if you feel so inclined, listen to the whole thing, even before you finish the audio book.
00:52:18
Speaker
Okay. Because then you'll let, at the very least, generally understand what's going on. Okay. And then you can go back, maybe even, you know, when you... are retired and no longer have to like be restrained with their like yeah time. Yeah. ah You can start the audio book over.
00:52:36
Speaker
Maybe. And like, just listen through and pick up on details that you might've missed in the first, first listen. Yeah. um Cause yeah, like, you know, out of respect for the the art itself and because of obviously like not wanting to just dump all the detail and like not a copyright issue, but you know what I mean? Like they don't, you should,
00:52:57
Speaker
when they go over it in the, the Patreon for which bitch amateur they don't give every single detail. Yeah. There's certain stuff that like she leaves. She's like, that's for, you know, anybody who goes to listen or or read the book to like get to enjoy these details. Like it's worthwhile. um But like a lot of like the dense world building stuff and like intricate things,
00:53:23
Speaker
political stuff like gets very well explained okay yeah um okay because it's a it's a long book it's a dense book a lot happens it's a hundred chapters and a lot happens in those hundred chapters like it is It's a lot.
Aiming for Structured Podcast Content
00:53:48
Speaker
It's good.
00:53:49
Speaker
um But that's what I mean is when I, so you know, you say outlander, I say cushy. I'll start. I got you. Touche.
00:54:01
Speaker
um So yeah. Agreed. Yeah. Sorry. I had mute for coughing. because I'm still coughing. ah um yeah agreed but on my own timeline because that's just how it has to be same for me so you know again agreed all right on our own timelines we'll figure it out but like yeah we'll get there anyway um that's our episode
00:54:32
Speaker
hey We hope you all have enjoyed and let us know in the comments if you have any thoughts on any of what we said. And if you've had the opportunity to take FMLA, tell us about your experience.
00:54:50
Speaker
Yeah. Like, like genuinely, I want to know, like, you know, especially if you're in a state that, you know, doesn't compensate you in any way. um but like, definitely, definitely.
00:55:03
Speaker
Because I know I didn't say this earlier, but like, even if you live in a state that doesn't pay you to go on FMLA, um like you still have the ability some of the time to get paid through disability, like short term disability, which I think that's what you did when you had your accident last year, right?
00:55:21
Speaker
um Yeah, I wasn't on any short term disability or anything, though.
Encouraging Listener Engagement and Support
00:55:26
Speaker
Oh, yeah. ah But it was like, ah like wage, like replacement or whatever it was.
00:55:34
Speaker
was it the car insurance that paid that yeah they they yeah i don't remember what it was called but yeah it was lost wages or whatever yeah lost wages yeah lost work i'm trying to remember how in the hell i even made it through before that check came i don't even remember any anymore it's crazy I got like little sums of money here and there.
00:56:00
Speaker
i was gonna say you weren't spending a lot on gas because you weren't going to work every day. Right. um But I was getting like little checks somehow here and there and I don't even remember how.
00:56:11
Speaker
It's the weirdest thing. Well, well, yeah. Point being, that is an option. The short term disability specifically for FMLA for most places l you know most cases i should say um but like yeah if if anybody has done that before i'm curious to know what your experience was like um so yeah that's our episode send us an email christina where can they send the email oh my god stop it just kidding you don't have to do it
00:56:42
Speaker
so po yeah but Check our socials. The fucking description thing has it. So, bye. Listen, give us a rating. Write us a review.
00:56:53
Speaker
Five stars, please. Tell your friends. ah Subscribe to our Patreon. Yeah, go to our Patreon. Pay money to listen to us bullshit.
00:57:04
Speaker
Because, honestly, it's fun. And get a tarot reading. Yeah, get a tarot reading. um And yeah, listen, we love you guys. We're so grateful for you guys. And ah we'll be back again somehow, some way next week.
00:57:21
Speaker
Okay.
00:57:24
Speaker
Love you. Bye.