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Episode 014: Hating on Ohio, Beyonce, The Substance
19 Plays2 months ago
Your favorite hosts Anya and Dasha are trying to keep it together while everything around them seems to be crashing. They seek comfort in knowing that their approaches to roadtripping are very different, share childhood gastrointestinal issues and ponder what aging looks like for each of them.
Dom and Dommer is about two friends who talk about everything under the sun and over the moon. We're not only global, we're interstellar. We're also local. Right at your backdoor. We talk about the dumb and the profound. The high and low. So strap in and strap on.
Follow Us @anyabhynz & @dashafayv
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Transcript
Introduction and Podcast Tone
00:00:11
Speaker
Hi, everybody out there. It's another episode of Dom and We're never leaving. We're never leaving. so No matter what the but fires do, we are never leaving.
Overall February and Fashion Choices
00:00:29
Speaker
They thought they could get me out of here with the fires. Honey, we're both wearing overalls. Didn't even plan it. It's overall February. It's overall for all of you.
00:00:41
Speaker
Because we're wearing overalls. It's overall. On all of them. It's overall. I do like this. I like us. I like us. I us. I like us. Aw.
Valentine's Day Gift Ideas
00:00:55
Speaker
us. Just in time for our favorite holiday. What's that? Valentine's Day. OK, so what are you going to give it for Valentine's Day? I can't say it on i can't say it on the air. You can, and you will. OK.
00:01:11
Speaker
but Okay. Me, whatever. I'll share it. I got a new vibrator that's like a rabbit whisper. You can't hear that. Like on the highest setting, you cannot hear it working. That's amazing. So you can have it anywhere. Anywhere. Anytime.
Privacy Challenges with Roommates
00:01:25
Speaker
Anyplace. Going to the grocery store. You're just like, hmm, you check out these apples. Well, I just don't know about other people, but I have a roommate and we have very thin walls. And one of my biggest things is that like, I don't necessarily want to broadcast, but that's what I'm doing. It kind of gets in my head and kind of takes me out of it. So I'm unable to like yeah enjoy myself fully. And this thing is changing all of that. And I cannot cannot recommend it highly enough.
Air Quality Concerns and Precautions
00:01:56
Speaker
um You know what? 2025 soundproof walls. We need to get more soundproofing everywhere. I'm just saying, whoever built these buildings didn't think about this. They didn't think that maybe I don't want to hear
00:02:07
Speaker
a person shifting in their seat. He was like shitting in their seat. We're not gonna talk about that. The bathroom was right between our two rooms and I am ah gloriously, I step out. Yeah. I step out. um what's What's up? We have so much to talk about. We we have so much to get through. Yeah. um What an eventful month it had been um and so much more to come. But yeah, I don't even know where to start.
00:02:36
Speaker
I'm gonna start asking, how are you? Because I know things have been really crazy over here over the last three, four weeks, especially with the fires, and just wanna see how you're doing, where you're at emotionally.
Joy in Peculiar Smells
00:02:46
Speaker
Yeah, I feel like I'm better now. I'm very concerned about the air, and I got an air purifier for the house because it was telling me that there was shit in that house that I was like, we gotta get it out. So I've been running that 24 hours a day, wearing a mask outside, just like, yeah. I have like,
00:03:05
Speaker
like a Like a close family friend who passed away due to ah complications from inhaling like pretty much cancerous stuff after 9-11. So I'm extremely sensitive to that. And yeah i maybe overreacting, but I don't know. like I'd rather be safe than sorry, so I'm messing up. No, i um I agree. Do you like, I think we talked about this in a yes or no back in the day, but like
Ari Aster's Films and Personality Speculations
00:03:34
Speaker
gasoline smell?
00:03:35
Speaker
Hate it. Hate it. I mean, like, i it does make me nauseous, but there is something sweet about it. Say more. Just, I don't know, there's something special about the smell that sometimes in the right mood, I'm just like... I love that I'm about to throw up. Don't even, oh my god, the opening of Midsommar. Oh Jesus, yeah. oh ah First time I watched that, I was like, no way. Oh man, bum me out.
00:04:04
Speaker
Yeah, what a way to start a film. yeah He does that in all his movies. I've now seen a couple and I'm like, this man, and I'm sure he's like a great lady because he's crazy. You know, like Ari Aster, the director, I'm like, and the writer, I'm like, I bet he's a fucking little freak. I bet he likes it weird and I'm into it. Well, you would think maybe, maybe it's like the opposite. Maybe he's actually submissive and vanilla. no He just takes it out in these films. Any kind of man that presents as like soft and weak is always like chasing domination when it comes to sex. Okay. Yeah. They don't want to be, they want to be big and strong and everyone would consider that. That's why they become like directors of famous people because they're like, please, like me.
00:04:54
Speaker
the way boy The way you're talking about directors and sunglasses. Well, listen, takes one to know one.
Comedy and Billionaire Irony
00:05:03
Speaker
Okay, I did want to bring up, and it's kind of already like old news, but the the Golden Globes happened. And I was reminded how funny, I think in my notes, this is Nicky Glacier, but Nicky Glacier. Glacier. Yeah.
00:05:22
Speaker
She should honestly go to Vitamin Water or whatever, like Gatorade and get them to make a flavor. Nicky Glacier. Nicky Glacier. they She should go to to like Iceland, now Greenland. Greenland. And name name a glacier after her. Absolutely. I want to climb Nicky Glacier. She's just so funny and I don't even know what kind of way it is. It's so perfect.
00:05:50
Speaker
um The joke that she made about Timothy Chalamet's, uh, it was a Timothy Chalamet's like mustache. Oh yeah. It being like, Oh, I love your eyelashes on your upper lip. ah I, uh, I don't know. And then when she said other jokes at, uh, on the Howard Stern show, I was like, damn, I can understand why they told you you couldn't do those, but they are also, um, they're good. Okay.
00:06:18
Speaker
Oh my god. And if I'm like saying absolutely no, no. ah You're like a Vicky Glacier apologist. No one is disagreeing with you. everyone In fact, everyone conveniently is 100% on board with her. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that she, well, cause she is cancelable, but she, everyone loves her right now. i Dude, everybody loves her. Middle America loves her. The elites, Hollywood loves her. Not, not that one story she said about that the millionaires, um,
00:06:49
Speaker
like private party thing that she had to do that no one was interested in. Yeah, well, but that's on her. You don't take one of those gigs. If everyone's turning them down, that's not the place to go. Like, they want they want you to make fun of everybody else but themselves. They're like, don't, yeah yeah, nobody, yeah. And that's, you know, if you're hiring a comedian and you're a billionaire, oi, that's a bad look. That's a bad look. I mean, you're a billionaire. you can Hire anything. Yes, and why are you hiring like a comedian to like do jokes that you're not going to like? It's like, go do what you like. Go make little kids in sweatshops make more jeans. like Do that. That's the thing you like. So do that. Wait a second. Wait a All right. I've got a question now because if you're saying, OK, you're a billionaire, don't be spending money on having ah a private a comedian come in
00:07:47
Speaker
and do 10 minutes at the party. What are you supportive of if you were in that a position where you had some money for a party? What kind of activities and entertainment are you hiring? First of all, I'm taking everybody somewhere, number one. oh okay First of all, I'm taking the whole party and I'm bringing somewhere tropical on a yacht, like a mega yacht, right? And I'm not hiring one comedian to do 10 minutes. I'm hiring top artists to do things. So it's like, you know, I'll get a Dave of Blaine to do some magic in the corner over there. I'm going to hire Cirque du Soleil to do some flips over here. I'm hiring Shakira to do a little da, da, da, da over here. Like I'm, I don't want a comedian for 10 minutes to do anything because like,
00:08:40
Speaker
People like that don't laugh. Rich people don't laugh. There's nothing for them to laugh at. They don't know what suffering is. they There's nothing for them to stop to like laugh at. okay They're bored. they They have everything. It's like nothing's funny to them anymore. I'm gonna lose my sense of humor. The the sooner they get some money, he he they're stopping. They're stopping. Yes, I'm serious. The price of being rich, the price of wealth? Laughter. Wow. It's gone.
00:09:09
Speaker
going from your locale. Dang. I mean, you look in the mirror and you laugh and go, ha ha ha, I'm so much richer than everyone else. Ha ha ha ha. Yeah. Okay. Wow. Yeah. Damn. Well then, all right. Understood. Wait, so if you had that much money, what would you, who would you hire for your party? I, well, you know, okay. Just off the cuff. There's, there's this new, um, oh, she's not new, but she's like this comedian magician.
00:09:37
Speaker
that I would watch on TikTok. She has this like red wig and she does, ah she's like, oh darling, like what's your name darling? Oh, why do you say it like that? Are you crazy? Ha, ha, ha, ha. You don't know this. I don't, it feels like it's just you in your room in a wig.
00:10:01
Speaker
Oh, anyway, well I would hire her. Well, you should because TikTok's gone. So, you know, she needs a job. oh Yeah. Well, no, and no, she's doing this in front of audiences. This is like at the Magic Castle. Oh, so she has a fan base. and Oh, yes. Yeah. No, we're. Yeah. Got it. Yeah. I apologize. Lady Magicians, whose name is exactly. So I apologize to you about that. I'm sorry. Her name's Carissa. That's a crazy name. I know. But I swear I think it's Carissa. So she's making
00:10:32
Speaker
In front of other people's names and her name is Carissa? Carissa? I think so. Not Clarissa. Carissa? Carissa? You can't even say it. You can't even rhyme that way. No, I was gonna say, I've got something to confess. Okay, anyway. Wow. Okay, but I was also gonna ask, who are you hiring for like a wedding for your wedding?
00:11:00
Speaker
Oh, a live band and I want them to like sing Elphas Gerald. Okay. Yeah. Wow. That came off so quick. I definitely have not been thinking about this. You're like, I dream about this every night. Even though I'm like, I'm not going to have a traditional wedding. My wedding's like in the forest and yet I'm like, and it's going to be a four piece band. They're going to be live singers, a man and a woman singing Elphas Gerald live. Thank you. Yes. Yeah. Um,
00:11:29
Speaker
i I mean, that's a vibe. That's a total vibe. I think for my wedding, I want to hire, ah you know, Sammy Ray and friends.
Unique Wedding Entertainment Ideas
00:11:37
Speaker
No. So good. I would also like there to be, you know, optimal decor and space. um But I have this fantasy and I will figure it out one day. Well, how many friends does Sammy Ray have? Oh, she's got she's got a whole boatload of friends. Okay, so you're you're getting like a baker's dozen crew probably. Oh, yes. And um you know, you got to think about the rider, you got to think about um the space that they get to perform in and what they would perform, how long, probably like 30 minutes I would want. But it's become my quick decision of like yeah priority there. If I could,
00:12:22
Speaker
If I could take a guess, I want to say 35K. I 35K. I think we could make that happen. I think we could get that. Sammy Ray, 35K. Is that good for you? Does that work for you?
00:12:38
Speaker
I could help carry things. I'm kind of like a good PA. I could help with that. Yeah, I'll help carry things. I don't care before and after ceremony or whatever. Yeah. I'm also great with the tambourine if you need that. Oh, yes. Well, they love tambourines. And we could tambourine the fuck out all of us. Oh, absolutely. And this is our wedding now. Yes. So at our wedding, we're going to tambourine with Sammy Ray and friends. Yeah, please. Shut out. Help us out in the wedding.
00:13:08
Speaker
Also, just send us your writer and how much it would cost. Let's say for like six hours. How long do you have? Six hours. Well, no, 30 minutes set. 30 minutes set. Six hours? Jesus, of course it's going to be 35,000, probably more. Well, I don't want them there for 30 minutes. I want them to throw out the night to get people dancing on the floor. They'll be doing covers. They'll be like, do a little dance. Make a little love. Get down tonight. Absolutely.
00:13:36
Speaker
And I can't be 30 minutes. I need it to be the whole night, baby. I don't want like a, you know. Sam, okay, we're gonna be shelling out money. Sorry, Sammy. Yeah, well well. We'll figure out a budget. We'll figure it out. Listen, we're only getting married one time to each other. So we need this. Oh, you're one of those. I'm not getting divorced from you. I'm keeping that money and I'm not signing a prenup, no matter how much you ask.
Prenups and Relationship Financials
00:13:58
Speaker
Okay. I know how much you'll be making and I want that. You really want that? I want half of that. Okay.
00:14:06
Speaker
Okay, thanks. Great. I'll end up in a tent out on, uh, off the 101. If anything, it's a shift pod that will loan you, because I have one. I have a question. Yeah. Is that gonna, the sound of the theater, is it gonna be in the audio? ah
00:14:26
Speaker
You're right. Yeah. Um, okay. Well, maybe we'll take a break. listen to all of it and see why see how bad this all recorded but you know what this is this is what it is this is how it is this is the truth um and we'll we'll get right back and see if we can make it but any better because we don't lie we're honest with our audience we're out or on the go we're constantly recording this podcast this is on the move this is mobile we're on the back of a truck right now it's shaking
00:15:02
Speaker
And we're still doing this for you. Yeah, damn. Oh, we love you. We love you. We'll do this once a month. Yeah, once a month. We're so dedicated. We're so dedicated. OK, well, we'll be right back. Bye.
00:15:31
Speaker
oh my god i feel like such a girl in the singer you're gorgeous she's just a girl i want to say it's like twin where have you been where have you been um oh wow okay i think we're back we are we're back i think that's definitely what's going on right now i think the sound situation has been a fix yeah oh wow it's it's so quiet it's almost Too quiet. It's as quiet as it was in Ohio. Oh my god, Katie Couric, who are you? Amazing transition. i know Wow. It was just in breaking
Road Trip Impressions of Ohio
00:16:14
Speaker
news. Wait, but you were you were in Ohio. um Yeah, i one thing I did want to tell you once we had gone back together is that ah during the road trip, cross-country for the holidays,
00:16:27
Speaker
went through Ohio and I'm sorry anyone in Ohio, we all grow up and are born somewhere and we can't help that. um Not it. it's It's just one of those places where if I was born into, you bet as hell I'd be out of there.
00:16:51
Speaker
This is incredible. You were just slowly dragging a line out of the whole state. What about it was so not up to step? I mean, talk about as bland and as basic as it could get. I mean, pick a lane. Pick anything to make you unique and exciting. Oh my God.
00:17:17
Speaker
You feel strongly. Well, cause we're, okay, we're driving along. We're going through Arizona and New Mexico. And I'm like, Oh yes, I love the vibes. I love the aesthetic. I'm down for the food. Okay. Then we're, we're climbing up. We go through Texas real quick, just for some barbecue, Missouri, which shocking that Missouri is a weed is legal, plenty of Confederate flags, but weed is legal. Well, you got to smoke.
00:17:46
Speaker
right before you're extremely racist. Cause it helps, you know, you see clear. You see clearer for sure. And then, yeah, so then I was like, okay. And at parts of Missouri, I was loving the vibe parts of it. I was like, Hmm, questionable. And what would you think it was the parts that were getting me closer and closer to Ohio. And here we were in Ohio. I had to drive it good, good amount. Weed is not legal. It is cold and just ugly.
00:18:15
Speaker
just ugly and ugly ugly roads ugly buildings yeah yeah oh oh oh you better you better go't you know better don you better watch out you better take the highway as straight has it take a different path what kind of fucking What kind of trip did you take? You went Texas, then you went Missouri, then you went Ohio? Yeah, so we started like southern row, and then right when we were hitting Texas, right, but like the chimney area, huh we went up. Yeah, this that's a crazy route to take. Not really, you know. I would have kept going straight through Louisiana. And then go up? Yeah, I mean, where were you going? To like Massachusetts. That's on the East Coast, yeah, you could have gone up. Yeah, well, I mean, you're doing like a 90 degree
00:19:06
Speaker
angle moment versus just kind of like curving up. I'm just saying if you want to avoid Ohio taking a straight north from the chimney of Texas probably was you also went through like Arkansas, right? you No, no Arkansas. We kind of kind of skipped a couple of those. I did a cross country road trip. I went through Ohio. I yeah, it was like it got real tough for me because it was like flat and empty and then it was flat and grass. Yeah.
00:19:36
Speaker
And then a guy at a ah gas station, this was during COVID, I was fully like, almost like it has that suit goggles, like mask to mask gloves, like coming out to pump my gas. And this man was shirtless and overall looking at me like I was an alien from outer space as if he didn't know what at all was going on all across the country. Anyway, that's why I think you're probably right about your impression of Ohio. You don't think you can find one thing you like about it?
00:20:05
Speaker
Say one thing you liked about it. I'm trying
Appreciation for St. Louis
00:20:08
Speaker
to think. I don't even think we stopped anywhere. We probably did. I think we stopped overnight. But I mean, that was just in a Ramada or something. um and And it was OK. I didn't need to stop anywhere. um I enjoyed more stopping in St. Louis, Missouri and getting a coffee and a pastry. St. Louis was really pretty. I like to look at the arches. We passed it. We literally we were on the road.
00:20:34
Speaker
so often just trucking along. But I saw it, I took a little video. I was like, yay, how beautiful. But yeah, I mean, that's pretty much what I have to report. I really had to get that off my chest. I'm glad you did. Thank God. I was planning on going there. Now I will never go there again. I have a friend of mine who's moving to Like a very small place, like in the Midwest, like a town of 60,000. And, um, it's like really concerned because he's like, obviously gay and, you know, it seems like a tough place in the next four years. Politically it's going to be hard. And I keep trying to be like, you'll be okay. You'll be, you know, I'm trying to be positive because it's a great change and like a great opportunity. But there is a part of me that's like, it probably will be hard as like a gay man there. Like, but also like.
00:21:29
Speaker
People are more, I feel like, DL, so it's like more fun. Okay. You know what I mean? Like it's a little bit more like here it's like too available. Like people are doing crazy shit because it's like available. People are now going like, yeah. So people here are like absolutely out of their fucking minds. Whereas there it's like a little bit more reserved. So it's like still fun. It's a little, a little, a little, a little. I guess I do yeah like that for that reason. Yeah. So I'm like, you'll have fun. You'll like go on sniffies, find a hole. It'll be great. Yeah. Oh yeah.
00:22:04
Speaker
Yeah.
00:22:08
Speaker
Go on Siffy's, find a hole. Find a hole. Oh, love that. Um, I just caught a glimpse of my hairy arms. Waman. Waman. I'm hairy arms. Yeah, but not like this girl. I look like these are hairy arms. You can't even see the hair on their pleats. And you're supposed to be ethnic.
00:22:34
Speaker
my god What? Ethnic what? What do you mean? You're like Russian and Jewish. That's not ethnic. That's not ethnic? I'm white. I'm as white as they come. Well, no, no, no. All right. We got to, we got to stop the talk. All right. Anyway, we're not going to stop the talk. We to change it all. A hundred percent of people have to tell it for the people in the back. Yeah. There's a credit card in my pocket.
00:23:04
Speaker
it's a credit Card in my pocket. Oh my god, is it yours? Yeah No, why no it's someone else it's is like oh my god It's mine, unfortunately, so you're not gonna get that far to the shopping spree. Let me show you I almost lost the credit card yesterday at Chipotle. I had pulled it out. I was pulling out one card and I have them together and it kind of like fell out onto to the counter. When I was putting the card back in, I was like, wait, where's my other card? And I was shuffling through my head, like where have I been? Where do I use it? It was, it was right there. It just got tucked.
00:23:37
Speaker
behind my fat, so I couldn't see it. oh You got that fat wallet? No, I have my FUBA hanging out. You don't have a FUBA. I had the FUBA over the counter. You fucking crazy person. You don't have a FUBA, you psycho. I'll show you after the break. Yeah, you better. You better, Joey. um Okay, one other thing I was going to ask you is, um you don't really care or watch about who's You don't really care or watch Traders, do you? No. I watch people talk about it. Yeah. OK. And I watch clips of it online. So I know the big thing that just happened. Oh, OK. And that disappointed me greatly. But it seems fun. And like, I know everybody on that cast. Like, it's just I have a hard time like getting into something with that, like a show like that without someone watching with me.
00:24:36
Speaker
Like it's hard for me to get into like the competition show by myself. Like I want to watch it with a bunch of people. So if you were to watch it with me, I'd get into it. We should watch it because it is so good. Um, despite the wrongdoing instead of happened, um, it is was your favorite at the edge of my seat every day. Um, well, I don't want to like,
00:25:01
Speaker
lose the integrity based or jinx that they might go
Strategy for Reality TV Games
00:25:05
Speaker
home. So I don't know if I want to call that stuff out. Um, but I, I do love so much of the cast. Like there's that bachelorette girl. She's amazing. Um, ah basically like everyone's like talking heads are just really, really funny. And, um, but damn, they get me, they rile me up and it's like too late for that on a, whatever night it comes out.
00:25:29
Speaker
You know, it's definitely like they are there. The producers are really great at casting because they basically, well, to be fair, they have like proven record of these people being great reality television. So it's not like these are completely unknowns. Like they've seen all these people on their seasons of whatever show they were on and they were immensely, immensely entertaining. So I feel like they just pick the best of the best. Rob sense that Bob was going to go far and was like, I have to cut them now. mean So, well, yeah.
00:25:58
Speaker
And seeing that he was kind of playing messy in that moment. and And yeah, Bob was really in the control of the game. He was calling or at least trying to call so many shots and get into every conversation. yeah Versus on Survivor, you want to be happily in the middle. Like the best place to be is in the middle all because then you get like taken to the top. You're not a threat. They won't, you know.
00:26:22
Speaker
kind of chuck you out, but you're not so bad that they'll like just get rid of you. They'll like keep you in order to use you, but really you're in control. And that's how you get the goat to the finish line. The goat? The goat to the finish line. I, um, so many people at work call people goats and I'm like, we can't all be goats though. Are you talking like greatest of all time? yeah Oh, I'm talking about like, uh, sacrificial goat, like does nothing.
Beyoncé's Performances and Hidden Messages
00:26:45
Speaker
taken to the end I literally was like, Oh, you know, like go,
00:26:50
Speaker
There's only one go and that is Beyonce just on those Carter. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You, did you love her a little halftime, not halftime, halftime, whatever it's called? I only tuned in to watch it. I made my whole family stop with who we're doing to watch it. We don't even celebrate Christmas, but we're just like hanging around, made everybody stop, turn it on. And I literally for the entire duration of 13 minutes kept going.
00:27:15
Speaker
This is unbelievable. This is unbelievable. This is unbelievable. I'm witnessing history. This is unbelievable. From the moment she like did that thing to the beat, I was gone. And then when she was like, I know you came here to see me and I was like, yes, yes. Tell the CMA's are idiots. You tell them on Christmas. um Did you think that there were any like Easter eggs or like subliminal messages in her performance?
00:27:44
Speaker
Yeah, she played like she played the backing track to Daddy Lessons during a song saying you can't erase history, which is like the song that she performed at the CMAs with the chicks that got her in all that heat and like afterwards it like didn't want her performing. Oh, wow. She won she knows exactly what she's doing. She is like, she's very subtle. She the best revenge is your paper like she literally lives that life like she's not gonna start anything she's like i am not bothered i am wealthier than you more successful and more liked even though her team lost badly i was like they're probably feeling the one because Beyonce is a fan so wait who's her team houston ah okay yeah yeah yeah that's what i thought right houston what's houston's uh football team couldn't tell you okay i see couldn't care less but i only care about
00:28:40
Speaker
Beyoncé, just own this Carter, thank you. Beyoncé, Beyoncé, so good. We should go see another show. but should If she comes out with the Cowboy Carter tour announcement, we should go. Okay, I'd be down. I did go a little crazy and overspent the last couple of years on shows, and looking back and I tracked it, I was like, ah, really? This is kind of crazy what I was doing. You were doing it for life. You were, this was your life. You were like, Hey, I need to go out more and to experience more things. I love that. I mean, that's literally how we're supposed to do it. Okay. So, you know how like Tukuk is believing or whatever? Yeah. My comment was her number one liked comment on one of her videos. It has 16.6,000 people liked it. I had more likes on it than Dylan Mulvaney.
00:29:32
Speaker
i Oh yes, I remember you telling me this. Did you screenshot it at least? I did. I did. I did it yesterday because of like it's gone so yeah like I'm gonna have it forever. I know she saw it. So that's all I care about. And if you're listening Gaga, I have worked with you twice now.
00:29:48
Speaker
One's on your music video for 911, and one's for when you did that Westfield Mall jazz concert for Tony Bennett, and we're coworkers. So if you want me to come to your next show, you let me know. I'll be there. I'll bring my pal. We're really a good time. A really good time. Yeah. Thanks. And say hi to Sarah, your makeup artist, because she's cool too. And she's still doing the makeup? She sure is. I mean, she's helping run house labs, right? The labs. Yeah.
00:30:18
Speaker
I got to tell her, I'm like, I love your eyeliner and color pencils. And she was like, really? I'm like, yes, I bought them, I used them. I'm glad you said that. I thought you were gonna say, I love your friend. I love, imagine, imagine, your friends imagine the balls to have to walk up to her and say that? Dead on site, and sniper to the head, red dot, red dot, red dot.
00:30:47
Speaker
Oh my God. Give it give it up for Luigi. The father, the son, and how's the Gucci? I don't say Luigi. Man, hot. Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'm not even going to submit to all the gay hoopla around him, but I will blu i right but I'm done with that gay hoopla shit. All right. Okay. Goes to Ohio once. Yeah. Doesn't like that gay hoopla. A new man. Okay. A new woman. ah But besides all that, you know what, whatever, because after the fires, everyone has been dealing with
00:31:31
Speaker
very terrible insurance issues against their damage and needing money. And you know what? Luigi had the foresight. He was like, granted different insurance, right? Different type of insurance. But you know what? Say it. Bigger picture. Say it louder. These insurance companies, whether they're insuring your fucking ass, your house, your car, your personal belongings, your unpersonal belongings,
00:32:02
Speaker
they should do better. Do. Do. Better. That's coming from us. Yeah. Do better. And we know, we know how to insure. As someone that does not have house insurance or is never going to have a house, do better. Hey, I pay renters. You do? Shit. Yeah. i We have to. You have to? Yeah. Shit, I don't have renters in here. All right. I'm kidding. I do. I definitely do. Don't rob me, please. God damn it. ah Yeah. That's like when we, uh,
00:32:31
Speaker
the place I had in the valley, this place, they've always asked for, like, to provide renters insurance. ah You can't even get your keys until you show it. So I don't know what the hell you did, but that was some back alley renters. None of the places I've lived have ever asked for that. Well, well, well, okay. Whoa. To be fair, my first landlord was crazy and really scary.
00:33:01
Speaker
And like, I think ran for Congress or something. Love that over the yeah timeline that I told you how he like first shook my hand. Okay, put the mic in the other hand. So he went to shake my hand like this. I was like, hi, my name is Audrey. He's like, hi, my name is Barack. I'm like, okay. And he put his two fingers like that on my pulse and shook my hand like this. And I literally stood there like, huh? And I like looked up like, did anyone else catch that? And I don't think he did that to anybody else except for, and I was like, I don't know what this was. I'm like, you know, I don't know. This is kinda crazy.
00:33:38
Speaker
yeah but then he did get in the refrigerator even though it did not come with the apartment yeah i had um so much golf for a 23 year old so much golf good for you thank you you deserve that i do deserve a refrigerator and gall and gall oh my god oh my god you i can't even do it okay i think we should take a break because we got a fucking game to play come on we're not playing games we're not playing games i'm gonna put this down we're gonna go get the game okay
00:34:09
Speaker
find by the
00:34:21
Speaker
Look at you. She's a cook. I'm a cook in the kitchen and a witch. I do cook, I do clean. And I have no ring, so I don't know. I guess I should stop. bu Yeah, you should be one of those people who just do nothing. that should be that Yeah, just be sexy and do nothing. I think I'd be good at that. Would you be good at that? You would be good at that.
00:34:52
Speaker
Red me down, you fucker. Okay. Yes or no? Oh, sorry. You tell me. Yes or no? We're back. Y'all, we are back. We're back and we're jumping right into it. We gotta just, let's cut back.
00:35:14
Speaker
ah So we got to do it. All right. Well, we are playing our favorite game. Tasha, what is it? It is a yes or no. That's right. So complicated. People still can't figure it out. Scientists have been calling. No one knows what's going on, but we're here to help. Yeah, it's very hard. The format is weird, but here we are. we're Here we are. where we're We're here. We're queer. Let's go. All right. You want to go first? No, you go first. Yes or no? and Yes or no. Taking the substance.
00:35:44
Speaker
Um, no, I, I haven't seen the film. I do know. What the fuck are you talking Is that from the substance or is that from? Oh, that's Amelia Perez, isn't it? Oh, mary bur I'm just sorry. Biggest fucking shit show I've ever seen in my entire life. I've never seen something so transphobic in my whole entire fucking life. Anyway, I also did not think that movie was going to be transphobic. But we'll we'll get into it. We'll get into it. I didn't think it was gonna, but it was the whole time. Yeah, yeah, that's crazy. Top to bottom. Crazy me. Anyway, um the justice is not, is no one says- No one's saying this about a vagina. No. It would have made it better, but no. Yeah. ah But yeah, I'm not, I'm not taking whatever. I've seen clips. Don't need any of that in my system.
00:36:33
Speaker
Yeah, I also am like, I'm gonna age gracefully and you know what? No one likes me now, so I don't know if a new me is gonna do any better, so might as well just and enjoy my life. um But I do wanna see it. I do wanna watch. I'll watch it with you. I do wanna get substified. We'll do one of our hangs and we'll watch an episode of Traders and then we'll watch the substance. How about that? I love that. Let's do it. Yeah. um mean We're getting on Monday, so. Yeah, maybe we maybe we just watch that at your house and eat food there.
00:37:03
Speaker
Hell yeah. okay we'll I'll have food I'm making for this weekend. I'll have such good food. Yes. Oh, you're going to, you're going to shit bricks after. I'm not shit bricks. I used to shit bricks. Oh my God. I was terrified of pooping as a kid. And by the time I'd get around to pooping, which would be like two weeks later, honey, the bricks. the Two weeks. Yeah. It was, it was a, it was a very, uh,
00:37:30
Speaker
problematic medical situation, i what I would call it. Did you have to have enemas? Girl, they were my grandmother would pour hot boiling water in the toilet to try to steam it out of my ass.
00:37:46
Speaker
I don't think that's how it works. I don't think that's how it works at all. Well, that's what we were doing, okay? You know what? It was 1995, 96. They then. They didn't have to put your ass on a hot boiling pot of water to get you to shit.
00:38:02
Speaker
It's okay, it's okay. What a wonderful thing your grandmother did and she cared for you so much. Yeah, they had to do it. What the hell did you do? They were like, we've never seen someone too terrified. Why are you so scared to poop? I just didn't like the sensation of something coming out of me. And look at you now. I'm still, still, still. Listen, it's a good thing. All right.
00:38:29
Speaker
Um, wow. Okay. Well, um, perfect segue. Uh, yes or no. Air fresheners. Air fresheners. Yes. Um, yeah. In the car, in the bathroom. Yeah. I'm into it. You like them. Do you have like favorite scents or like, cause some people like only kind of go for a certain genre. My genre is like clean linen. Like I like a clean linen smell in my car.
00:38:55
Speaker
And in the bathroom, I like a tropical kind of Hawaiian tropical situation or like a lemony kind of situation. Why do you roll your eyes at me? Why do you roll your eyes? What's wrong with clean sheets smell? Tell me what you want. Shitty, shitty sheets. What do you want? I mean, it's just like you picked the literal like two most basic.
00:39:17
Speaker
sense that you could go out and purchase anywhere also like I'm so sorry I can't have eucalyptus sandstone fucking poopoh poo poo poo poo in my life I'm so sorry I like clean sheets I'm a basic bitch you know what if you're gonna be a freak in the sheets yeah have those sheets smell a little freakier okay it's logically freak in the sheets I want to smell a clean linen I don't want to smell like a like a witchclove like anal bead situation. Okay. Wow. All right. Which club anal bead? What do I do then? New Yankee Candle. Yeah, that's right. Coming to you this holiday season. What do you like? um For my car, I like, there's a scent called True North. I don't know if you've heard of it. It's a very like kind of
00:40:09
Speaker
cool, um but like sweet smell. it's It reminds you of like a tundra. Very great. So it smells like pine? No, it does not have any trace of pine. I was really hoping. Yeah, you were trying to be a little punty and it's not gonna work. Fine. It backfired. It backfired.
00:40:30
Speaker
And yes, I do love scents everywhere and I like to play around with my scents. I'm not just sitting there throwing tropical in the bathroom like it's freaking 2005 and you're an aunt. I'll tell you this, you come to my bathroom, you take a dump after two weeks that you haven't because your little ass can't handle it. You'd love the tropical scent of my bathroom, you piece of shit. That's right. Yeah, I probably would. Exactly.
00:40:59
Speaker
All right. What's your next one? Oh, a cook at home how am I going to top that? It won't open. I can't recognize my wish. It's like we're done with you. Go, go, go. Okay. Ads that act like they're like, like integrated ads that act like it's like a podcast, but it's really an ad for like them. You know what I'm talking about where they set the whole commercial up and it's like, Oh, it's a podcast, but they're somehow randomly talking about gum and you find out the whole thing's just an ad.
00:41:30
Speaker
It's not a real podcast. Yeah. i Well, I don't like that, whatever that is. I feel like I've maybe seen that. yeah um Anything kind of like that, I don't care for. um I feel like, you know, also being in being in advertising,
00:41:52
Speaker
I've noticed that more of like, you know, everyone's trying to look for something new and something different and what is going to captivate an audience for like, you know, five seconds. And because of all the, like, social media and other types of entertainment platforms we have, I feel like people try to use that, like, and incorporate in some way. Like, do you see ads where It's like a TikTok, like they had like pulled a TikTok yeah um and they're like using kind of like fake graphics. But it's like, oh, it gives you the idea that like, oh, the son is FaceTiming his dad and learning about Gillette Pro Fusion razor blades. You're like, okay, we get it.
00:42:40
Speaker
I agree. I think like if you want to be more effective in advertising, why don't you take um like all of the side effects from the drug you're trying to sell and just like have it tattooed on like a very large heart penis and just do like a slow pan over the entire dick and then just kind of why why don't you do that? I don't know. I don't know why we we don't do that. You know, that's the best way to sell Sudafed. Can you tell me? yeah i' fire aisle five, that's at the We're at the end of the shaft, by the walls, it just says aisle five. Imagine a Viagra commercial, but it's like the side effects are tattooed on a hard dick. You're welcome, you can have that for free, enjoy. Okay, so yes or no, food, restaurant, like apps on your phone. Food, restaurant, apps, like,
00:43:35
Speaker
Postmates. Taco Bell has an app. Chipotle has an app. And you can get certain deals on the app, but only if you have the app. yeah That's dangerous for me. Because um ah it doesn't take that much for me to go swerve to a Taco Bell. So if I had an app and they were like, four Crunchwrap Supremes, if you show a whole, I'm there. So like i don't think it's I don't think it's good for me. Happy for anyone that does. And if someone goes somewhere all the time, like get the perks, babe.
00:44:04
Speaker
Yeah, that's true. There's just so many. How do your how does your phone have enough space? Yeah, um i yeah that's the thing. I just couldn't keep track of it all and I feel like it's a lot to... Which one did you have? I don't have any other than like the yeah like the more delivery service ones, but I've been intrigued and inspired potentially to get them, mainly for the subway that's down the street because I went there thinking I could get a deal and the deal was only available
00:44:35
Speaker
with rehab. Ridiculous. Bullshit. Bullshit. What's your subway order? Oh. What's your subway order? You know what? I'm not gonna lie to you. It's probably hands down the chicken, like, ah it's like a chicken ranch, bacon thing.
00:44:56
Speaker
So interesting how I'm the basic one for having ah you know clean sheets smelling for freshers, but you love a chicken wrap. What's your sub of choice? Tuna. I go and get fish because I'm not basic. i I risk my life every time I go to a subway. I go, I might die from this, but I might shine from this. Yeah. you're good Something's going to shine. That's right. No, I used to get i used to get like the tuna that I haven't gone in a long time.
00:45:25
Speaker
I do like the tuna. Yeah, I'll go for that. I'll go for an Italian sometimes. I just like a straight up Italian. No, it's about Subway. What do you think about at Subway? Yeah. What I'm not going for is the meatballs. A meatball sub. Nothing inspires me less than a meatball sub. Really? What about it is so repulsive?
00:45:48
Speaker
One, normally it's literally just a stale bun with three meatballs. I don't know if I'm just triggered from like school lunch, you know, school meatballs, meatball subs. It was never a fun day, yeah you know? No one's like, hey, kids, get in the car. We're going to get meatball subs.
00:46:12
Speaker
No one's like, yay! Yay, Dad! We're so happy you guys got divorced! You always take What? How what? Great commercial for somewhere right here. This is our feature greener to advertise my. Amazing. No one's ever glad their parents got divorced so they could go get people some. Well, never let those take us to go get people some. She's never, she's such a bitch, but our dad, he's great. He always takes us to get some. I'm so glad you cheated on that girl at the aquarium. Oh, she's the local whore. We all like her because she's got that pierce ear and belly button.
00:46:49
Speaker
Oh, okay. Okay. And someone say she can get sucked in piercing too. Um, I was thinking about getting a belly button piercing, but I feel like, um, it only looks good on some people and I don't think I'm that person. I don't think I've seen a belly button piercing on. A man. A man. No. Wow. On a person named Anya.
00:47:18
Speaker
in my mind is what I was going to say. Yeah. Okay, cool. That's what I was going to say. And you can't prove otherwise because the other words did not come out of my mouth. You cut to it too fast. You should have let me say it. It got myself in trouble. Yeah. Yeah. No, I generally haven't. I don't really see it with a belly button. I see it with like, uh, one of these, like, um, here are Wow. Uh, hearing aid.
00:47:41
Speaker
Yeah, because you're an old bitch, that's why. To you with a fucking ear. No, I did like a bar piercing, you know, like one of those. Oh, I love those. Yeah, okay, see, fucker. I do that. You do that. You would look really good in it. I see you with that. I don't know if I see you with the belly button. Because you don't really show your belly button. Right. So I'm just like, you know, it's like why hide the goods? It's like you want it to be seen, you know? I don't know.
00:48:11
Speaker
You want it for yourself? I feel like you're some, you're also somebody who would get something for yourself. For sure. But a belly button piercing seems like that's different. I don't know. Am I crazy to think? Okay. So you're clip piercing. That was for the world. That was for everybody. Cause they hear it as I walk. it you Is that Santa coming?
00:48:34
Speaker
You just start like,
00:48:41
Speaker
You're just squa doing squats.
00:48:48
Speaker
Absolutely. I guess, you know, get whatever you want. If you want, i really but you do it, but yeah I guess I never saw you with one. You're right. But I bet it will look good. Never will. And I never will. Watch you already have it. And I'm like, send a piece of shit about it. It's like a long chain. Oh my God. A wallet chain, but a belly button piercing.
00:49:08
Speaker
Okay. Lesbians, you gotta get into this. No, I get all of that. Okay. Oh, okay. Well, since it's February, what do you feel about like Galentine's Day or any kind of day that's like anti-Valentine's Day? It's like, bring your friends. I mean, like, what do you think about that? I think that's, that's cool. I feel like that's fine. I mean, I feel like a Galentine's Day is just a way to get together if you don't have Valentine's Day plans.
00:49:38
Speaker
And that's cool. Some people have Valentine's Day blends and still do Valentine's Day. Oh my God, like a little double feature. That's right. Which I find like, how selfish can one person be? You get both. You get to have a nice romantic thing and a platonic thing. No, no, no, you have to choose. Okay. you Are you the person who's also like, when people go on like a couples trip and it's all couples, you're like,
00:50:05
Speaker
You're not going here because you're single and vice versa. I used to knobby and now I couldn't think of anything worse to do than to go on a couple's ret retreat with a bunch of couples who are going to be making me sleep on a couch because all the couples need their own rooms.
00:50:23
Speaker
I'll kill myself. yeah I'm not doing that. If they could promise that I get my own room, then I'll go. But if it's one of those, well you're single so you get to be in the shit toilet. You gotta be in the outhouse because you're a shit person that doesn't have anyone. If you could have found someone, we could have given you a room with a door. But because you're single, you gotta a squat in the kitchen to take a shower.
00:50:45
Speaker
Yeah. So they hit real close to homework. We're not going to get into that trip or whatever happened. I've had that before where people are like, well, I have to have our room, obviously, because me and ah Georgina are our partners. So we have to have the king room and you will have to sleep on the pull out lump that is in the kid in the living room while everyone won't let you go to sleep because everyone's hanging out there.
00:51:12
Speaker
So, and I remember being like, that's so unfair. Yeah. You're right. That's just a feeling I have. So I'm like, if we're going to do this thing where everybody's a couple and I'm the only single person, you should take those steps to make me feel a little like less othered by maybe making sure I have a place to sleep. Understood. Yeah.
00:51:34
Speaker
Are you going to invite me to the cupboard? Not anymore. Okay. Well, damn it. Okay. I take it all back. I want to go take you with you. I'll sleep in the same house. I'll do it. Under the cupboard. I'll fucking do it. I'll sleep in the cupboard. We could always hire you an escort. Honestly, that would be the best birthday gift ever. Cause I've been looking into it. I'm like, I, you know what? At this point I'll, I'll pay someone a fucking good. You know what I mean? I'll do it.
00:52:03
Speaker
I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll twist my arm. I'll do it. Hey, you know what? Sometimes that's why I keep $20 at Kelcents just in case. I'm talking about like high level experiences. Right. I could get $20 dick if I want one. point I want good dick. It's different. Okay, go on. Okay. Go on. My last one, yes or no? Yes. Guinea pigs.
00:52:33
Speaker
Whoa. Okay. I think the answer is that. No, no, no. Hold on. They're different from hamsters, right? They're the bigger ones. They're bigger. Yeah. Yeah. They're bigger than hamsters. So, yeah. I've had friends with them. They're cute. They're cute. I like them. Yeah. That's a yes. Okay. They're cute. I just, yeah. I always, I didn't know they were different. Like I thought hamsters and guinea pigs were the same thing for a long time. I mean, I think they're in the same family.
00:53:01
Speaker
rodent rodent rodent family um but yeah guinea pig you know it's like that big yeah oh yeah yeah you put a little ball they're cute no you don't put them no hamsters go in the balls boy oh boy and then there's chinchillas which are even cuter so cute they take little dust baths they take little poops they all take little poops no they take dust baths that's the only one because they're so fine yeah the way they clean themselves in the dust That's, like, my spirit interval. I also get clean by rolling around in winter. That is you. That's me! No, I like any things. What do I do? Yeah. Yeah, I think I'm into him. I used to have a hamster. It died at first to death. Jaws. Jaws? Yeah. After the movie? Yeah, well, after him, because he would bite people. So it was like, you know, Jaws! I was probably like 12, 13. Got it. So not after the movie. It's after the act of biting people.
00:53:58
Speaker
Yeah. I like it. Yeah. um But yeah, I love them. and And my little brother and sister, they have a guinea pig. And I just fell in love with it when I was over there during the holidays. I was like, oh, and they were trying to cut the little um nails because the nails get long. And it was like, and I was like, they were torturing the animal and you were beating off. Wow.
00:54:24
Speaker
wow Well, that's good for you. guinea pigs and guinea pigs honey um all right well i think we just yes or noed the hell out of this place we're gonna have to steam it out oh oh my god i'm feeling it oh oh my god i'm feeling I can't believe I only now learned that you had trouble pooping. I'm glad we do this, because I would have not known that otherwise. Yeah, we do learn something about each other. I also had trouble pooping. Yeah? But too much. I pooped too big. Oh. Well, see, that's my problem yeah nowadays. I got so used to pooping, I can't stop. It's happening right now in your overalls. Yeah, that's why you think this is just some big old pads, honey? No, it's the pens. It's the pens.
00:55:11
Speaker
um All right, well, I think that's yeah that's the ah that's all the time we have for today. We had such a wonderful time. Thank you so much for joining us. We kind of look like sisters. We do look like sisters. and Sisters. Oh, sisters. If you enjoyed us, please listen next month for more Zom and Jommer. Thank you, thank you. Bye.