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Episode 031: World Cup, Tonys, Coconut Head
14 Plays2 days ago
If you understand the concept of throwing gay male hands, then this episode is for you! Your favorite hosts Anya B Hynz and Dasha take time to go over the important things in the air — like Pink…at the Tony’s…being flung in the air. Sound off in the comments if you think Anya will finally get that hair permed.
Dom and Dommer is about two friends who talk about everything under the sun and over the moon. We're not only global, we're interstellar. We're also local. Right at your backdoor. We talk about the dumb and the profound. The high and low. So strap in and strap on.
Follow Us @anyabhynz & @dashafayv
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Transcript
Introduction & Apologies
00:00:13
Speaker
I thought I was hungry, hungry, big bottom. Yeah, that's just my name. That's who you're born to be. Oh my god!
00:00:24
Speaker
Hi! Welcome back. It's another episode of Dom and Dahmer. Oh, a a little bit of house cleaning before housekeeping. housekeeping um You might have checked out our show notes from last episode. If you have, I just wanted to apologize once again for the audio um we we're learning we're growing we are um evolving and also i personally was very high i was not paying attention but oh yeah you got high yeah before yeah oh my god i know it never happens but i was every time wow yeah every time you come over yeah you think i am but i'm not
00:01:08
Speaker
i I think you're not. I think I'm the trashy friend who's like fucked up when you get over here and you're sober. And come to find out, you come over here fucked up.
Smoking Habits & Aging Pains
00:01:23
Speaker
Well, I park my car. I put my seat back. Allegedly. I pull out. My earth drug.
00:01:34
Speaker
Earth drug. Earth drug. And then, you know, i take a hit or two or something. and you know But then I don't really smoke anymore. So when i do I get fucking ripped. I just went to a friend's music show. he was playing in a band and I was socially anxious because I was the only one there. I didn't know anybody. So I went outside. i took a joint and I took like three or four puffs.
00:01:59
Speaker
I was so high and I started getting paranoid that everyone could smell me and didn't want to stand next to me. i was literally standing there being like, i wasn't everyone's avoiding. ah I'm so glad you didn't come with me because I would have started crying. But regardless, i yeah, I was like freaking out. So I don't really smoke because I get paranoid and I get a little scared now.
00:02:22
Speaker
I used to never. I used to be like smoke. Do a thousand things like smoke all social settings. Smoke. Drive. Drive. You know, i was not, you know, but now I'm so scared. But I guess at the end of the day, this is also about you being conscious of that and like bringing that power with you. My geriatric life, my so-called geriatric life. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. yeah My knee hurt as I was walking down the stairs this morning. and I went, oh, my God, it's only going to get worse. It's only going to get worse.
Out Loud Fest Experiences
00:02:54
Speaker
Girl. I mean, i was out at Out Loud Fest on that Friday night.
00:02:59
Speaker
Seeing our girl. i'm Yeah, da i'm exactly. Seeing my girl. um Sorry, that was nauseous. You're like. Tackle, cackle, cackle. Yes, evil, evil laugh. um And by the end of the night, I was like doing that thing where you like put one foot up, hold it there, put another foot up. Because I was like, I can't even stand I'm having pain standing. What do you put one foot up? Like I started like there was just so much pain, I guess, like in my legs and feet and ankles that I started like perching like a flamingo on one foot. were not doing flamingo. To relieve the other foot. We gotta get you some foot inserts. We can't do this. Girl, it was that bad. And I had my hokas on.
00:03:44
Speaker
And in the hocus? In the hocus. Knee pain in the hocus? Yes. Oh, yeah. How long were you up? Like, what, 30 minutes? Before they wheeled me out.
00:03:59
Speaker
Oh, it was. That's the thing, though, because I keep having these moments where I look back and I'm like, am I this bad right now? But I practically walked halfway there from Joe's house, who lives on like but on like Fairfax or like off Fairfax, even further. Redacted, redacted, redacted. Yes. Yeah.
00:04:20
Speaker
So and like lime scootered half the way. So that was just a lot. And then the line to get in was so chaotic. There was no staff. It was a mess that and chat wake it up. You know, if you were there, how horrible it was.
00:04:37
Speaker
Um, that all of that standing and walking and everything and then standing in the park watching. I watched Jess Glynn's entire set. That's also they were like 15 to 30 minutes behind schedule. So that was nuts.
00:04:53
Speaker
I disorganized gay. Gay shit. Yeah, it was really, you know, lesbians were not running that show, you know, it was a bunch of like mollied out. Well, because lesbians didn't make that set that lineup or a set list either for anybody because, yeah, that was male gay hands throwing gay male hands, gay male hands. Well, listen, I wanted to go by the time I realized that I no longer had an obligation. I checked in. It was sold out. So I couldn't go. But I was going to go. Like I literally the moment I found out I wasn't doing anything on Friday anymore. I went, OK, great. I'm going to try to get a ticket. And that one night was sold out. And i was like, I'm not paying three hundred dollars for three day pass where I'm not to be. Yeah. So I didn't get it. But so tell me, wait, you saw aver Max. So tell me, how was she?
Music Trends & TikTok Resurgence
00:05:39
Speaker
For me personally, like 80%. Okay. You know what? I would say for maybe the average viewer, probably more like 70%.
00:05:49
Speaker
seventy percent However, they probably would have said 70% for everyone because what was discouraging is when I was watching Jess's set. I've seen Jess Glynn like three to four times.
00:06:03
Speaker
I have been in in an audience of of her fans, you know, whereas this they were like kind of like the audience was kind of into it And then she does her like Jet 2 Holiday number, you know, which is like even a deeper salt in the wound because one that's an old song of hers.
00:06:22
Speaker
um really great song I used to like do that song that was like a staple Halloween number for me um and I feel like one she probably feels some type some type of way i think I've seen videos where I'm like oh she's salty about now this song coming back up is like a huge hit and for like a kind of lame reason, you know, it's like a tick tock.
00:06:46
Speaker
It's not even ah just the song as a tick tock trend. It's that the thing over it. yeah So you're like, okay, I don't know. You know, like, that's just kind of sad. I think that's all all artists have a weird relationship with their hits. Like, I'm sure that Kesha is not just like the only one minute to do tick tock. They only want me to do tick tock instead of like yeah her repertoire. of Well, I mean, God, and then there's a whole other layer of what's his name?
00:07:09
Speaker
DJ. luke fucker yeah yeah yeah dj luke dj luke luke why i don't i have no clue i'm like dr luke dr luke dj luke oh jesus whatever he's not a dj nor is he a doctor and he's not even a man so you know what all things are wrong about it oh my god yeah that's funny but i'm glad you enjoyed okay well okay your knees hurt you were in the hokas you saw ivam back's performance 70 percent and Yeah, like I don't know why they put her in like a big gowny type thing because like she doesn't dance.
World Cup Excitement & NYC Celebrations
00:07:42
Speaker
But she doesn't dance. Yeah. So maybe that's what it was. They were like beautiful gowns. Gorgeous beautiful gowns. Beautiful gowns. I also don't get like for Jess's set there. Her dancers were in like tutus and I cannot for the life of me.
00:07:59
Speaker
like support tutu wear most of the time even more so during pride i think you cannot make pride more tacky and unclassy than a fucking tutu and a And a cheap, thin tutu.
00:08:20
Speaker
And that's what her dancers were in. And I was like, rough this is fucked up. Have you ever seen someone in a tutu? In a whatever type of tutu? And you were like, that's cute. That's a look. Yeah, I mean, i would say Adela.
00:08:33
Speaker
That's the only one. But that's because she's acclaimed, clin classically trained. ballet dancer. She's allowed to wear a tutu. But even ballet tutus, I want the fucking like nutcracker, genuine material. You want a flying saucer. Saucer tutu if we're going to do tutu. Stiff out like legit. Not like these like. I don't know. It's like. Three layers of gorgonzola. That's not the word.
00:08:59
Speaker
Gorgonzola. Organza. Yeah. Gorgonzola. Yeah. I'll have crumbles on my tutu. Yeah. My Gorgonzola tutu. Yeah. Yeah. i know what you're talking about. I'm like, if I could see the shorts that you're wearing underneath the tutu, it needs to be thicker.
00:09:15
Speaker
yeah I don't know. it's just not it's not the like, OK. And then unless you're at the level where when you sent me that video of that, like kind of huge full outfit that was essentially made entirely of tutus from head to toe. It's made. up I found out or it's made out of. Yeah. OK.
00:09:31
Speaker
Plastic ah tablecloths. And I went to Party City where I belong. yeah And I tried to find, they were closed. I came at like 839 and they closed at 830. And I wanted to get like all of their different colored tablecloths and see if I could make one of those outfits. Yeah. I'm now. How many different colors are you thinking?
00:09:54
Speaker
Well, i mean, they would all to be pastel. Okay. I want them all to be in the pastel family. What that means, no yellows. No oranges. Damn. Shots fired. Yeah, bitch. I'm doing purples. I'm doing blues.
00:10:10
Speaker
Some magentas. That's it. Okay. didn't get behind that. I'm not doing pride colors.
00:10:20
Speaker
Thank God. Thank God someone said it Thank God. Cause I was going to say enough what's, what's just as bad as a tutu is fucking rainbow flag colored nonsense fashion.
00:10:34
Speaker
And, and ah rainbow, uhuh like imagine a rainbow tutu that is like, yeah. yeah I mean, I know I didn't know you had such an, um, averse reaction to,
00:10:50
Speaker
um Tutus, I didn't know that about you. I'm glad I'm learning this now because my God, was I going to wear that one time? And it was going to be rainbow colored and it was going to be one little. Yeah. You know, fabric swatch of it. Yeah. i I remember there was like a moment you said something about tutu.
00:11:08
Speaker
Oh. I've never worn it, but there is a thing called Tutu Wednesday at the Burden where they wear. okay Okay. But I've never had chance to buy a tutu. And I'm like, if I'm only going wear it on one day, I don't think I'm going to buy myself a tutu. And if you're going to get one, get like a cool looking one. Yeah. and I'm not going to drop $350 on a ballet level. It's probably way more. You know, so I don't want to.
00:11:31
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Anyways. um Hey, listeners, I just want to make sure you know that Anya currently is giving me everything I want in terms football is life and is wearing an amazing usa jersey. Is this like a real looking one? This is yes, this is Team USA. This is official.
00:11:52
Speaker
Yeah. See, I got i got this at a thrift store years ago. Absolutely. I mean, I am confused as why there's three stars on it because i don't think they've ever won a single World Cup ever.
00:12:03
Speaker
So I'm interested
Fashion Critiques & Tony Awards
00:12:04
Speaker
to know why. But it might be like CONCACAF maybe. or just design. Or this might have been, no, it can't be the design because they do put the stars on as part of, like when you win, you get a star.
00:12:17
Speaker
Okay. Okay. So I'm wondering, but I and i don't think it's a woman's shirt, right? That I wouldn't know. Interesting. Well, I'll have to do a reverse Google search. Yeah, I'll take a photo of you and then we'll ask the internet.
00:12:31
Speaker
Actually, we'll post this and you guys will have to tell us what you think. But yeah, i I really like it and I'm so excited because the World Cup's happening. o yeah You're going come with me to North Hollywood. They're going to shut down some streets. In North Hollywood? They're shutting down blocks and blocks of streets and there's going viewing parties. They're going to put screens up everywhere. There's going to be little tables, food. No way. They're doing this in North Hollywood. there Come hang out. Come park in my house and I'll walk over. Hell yeah. um That's wild. That's cool. I feel like they don't do that. I know. Something's going on this year. Probably because it's in the United States.
00:13:07
Speaker
Yeah, they got to fucking set themselves up for... Absolutely. We got to make yourself look a little better. Yeah, 100%.
00:13:17
Speaker
Yeah, I think I almost reposted something where someone commented like um like, we're having company over and we haven't even cleaned up the house yet. And I'm like, that is realty right there because between the Olympics coming up and then the fact... I didn't even realize the World Cup was happening here. i don't know how that wasn't even in my general knowledge. but I knew it was happening. I just...
00:13:46
Speaker
really didn't realize it was already happening like i knew was gonna be happening but i was like oh my god it is it's now it's yeah happening because there's nobody was this is what i feel about our politics in like a country randomly occupying us suddenly that like i'm gonna find out once they're already here oh shit wait wait the tanks are around yeah fuck i'm gonna be like damn brazil and morocco really You know, of all the places, it wouldn't be Brazil in Morocco. But one can dream. God, one would dream. One would hope and dream and When someone, when I was getting my hair cut yesterday and my hairdresser, shout out, Casey slash ah Karma. I was like, i it's always so funny because i'll I'll say Karma when I walk in. Like, I'm here for Karma. And they're like, who? Yeah.
00:14:34
Speaker
is a bitch don't you guys know yeah karma's a bitch hello um but yeah she was like oh so uh brazil and morocco i think is the games today or something like that and i was like o just hearing brazil versus morocco like that is the that's the video i want to watch yeah that's the search that i'm googling um That is my heated rivalry right there. I know it is. I know it is. And you're going to love it because Brazil is famously a contact sport kind of team. And they're going to be dropping on the ground. They're going getting in between each other's legs. They're going body checking left and right. yeah There's going to be so much contact. You're going to love it. That's not my team.
00:15:19
Speaker
I used to be a fan. In fact, when I went to Russia in 2005, I found a Brazilian zip-up jacket that I had my grandmother buy me. Oh. Because I was a big, big Brazil fan at the time.
00:15:30
Speaker
And then I grew out of it. I changed. I changed. Who are you now? is um I've been like Espana. I've been a Spain fan for a really, really long time. Wow. Yeah, I used to be like Spain and Brazil. And I love Brazil because they they always had like that one player who was like...
00:15:47
Speaker
you know a phenom and was always like oh my god look at him go and i was obsessed and then i realized like it's not about one it's about a team and there was something about the way that spain played that i really loved yeah stopped the kissing yeah they just like support each other and they're all very attractive always and they've got good fades and they just they're really hot yeah um Yeah, when I was growing up, I really watched soccer for like the Portugal teams because that's what my family would watch. So like Benfica or Sporting Benfica. I don't know. There is multiple. And Cristiano Ronaldo, obviously yeah the archangel that he was. Saint. a Saint of, you know. um My truth is that I. I don't like him.
00:16:41
Speaker
You don't. Why? Why don't you like him? I just never liked him. I mean, I don't like, what's his name? David Beckham. that's he's He's like the UK version of Cristiano Ronaldo, right? There's Cristiano Ronaldo.
00:16:55
Speaker
There's Beckham. There was... Give me another. The one from Argentina. oh my God. He's literally the the most famous football player in the world. Tiny guy.
00:17:07
Speaker
Currently plays in the United States. Girl. This is so sad. I completely... This is really bad. The name flew out of my head right now. Whatever, that guy. you He just won the World Cup with them. Anyway, whatever. So him, that guy. yeah And um I don't feel bad. He was like pro-Trumpy lately, so I don't feel bad at all. And... ah But I was like a... um
00:17:36
Speaker
We're going to cut all of this because my head's not working right now. Okay. We also, I mean, we're at a point where we could take a break if we want to like look some of this stuff up. Fabregas. His name is Fabregas. David Fabregas. Oh, wow. Yes. And I was obsessed with him. That whole team, though they won the World Cup like three times, twice. But I was ah obsessed with him. I thought he was so hot.
00:17:59
Speaker
Okay. And something about his name being Fabregas. I was like, ooh. It sounds like Flabbergast. Or like Fab. fab too i guess fab and aghast yeah i'm fab and aghast yeah anyway i really liked him so and he was great he was like they put him on the on the pitch for like a second and he would just like run around anyway hey guys we're gonna take a quick little break i'm gonna google the rest of the team from Like 2012 World Cup and just really find out who I'm in love with and really name them. But apparently the U.S. won their first game, so we're happy about that. Oh, yay. Yeah, they did. Viva la USA. Viva la USA. They got some Italian coach now and they're doing better, so
00:18:42
Speaker
Oh, my God. See, look at that, everyone. We send out a pope from Chicago to change over the Vatican. They get an Italian coach over here to change up our game. Yep. The Knicks just won NBA championship. After over 30 years, right, if not women of winning.
00:19:05
Speaker
We are the world. guess what? People are freaking out over in New York City because with the World Cup, half of the world is currently on that side of the continent. They're like somehow burning the place down when I see the footage. I know, but I'm going, people must be like, that's their first, some people that's their first time being in the United States.
00:19:25
Speaker
yeah Imagine being exposed to the United States right after the Knicks win. I mean, they they this people are just literally, there is there are no cars. People are just flooding the streets. Yes. I love that. I saw a video of a woman sitting in a bus and a street bus still waiting to get dropped off. And she's just worrying, looking around. And then there's it pans up and you just see people standing on top of the bus like, girl, get off the bus. Girl, get off the You gotta get home. You gotta to call an Uber. its a There's no Uber. You gotta walk. oh yeah. Honey, you gotta walk. You gotta walk from the A train to the B train. All my friends are currently in New York City. Like four of my friends for five are all in New York City for the Delco Marathon for UCB. And they're just like over there right now. And they're all from New York originally and are just freaking out. They're Knicks fans. So they're just having a ball.
00:20:16
Speaker
They FaceTimed me last night right after they won. I was like, it was amazing. oh Yeah, that must so be such a good feeling. All right, everybody, we're going to take a break. I'm going to Google some stuff and we'll be right back.
00:20:38
Speaker
And we're back. We're back. Do you have more information? Yeah. So I did ah combine two players into one, which is why i came up with the name of David Fabregas when it's really Chez Fabregas and David Villas.
00:20:52
Speaker
Damn. But yeah, the team, let me tell you, their their goalkeeper was this guy, Casillas, who was like dating a reporter for the team. And they always had to keep her professional. But then when he won the World Cup, like she was interviewing him. And he was like, OK, put this down. and they just kissed. It was very sweet. Freaked out. They had Pique on the team, who used to be married to Shakira.
00:21:14
Speaker
Oh, damn. That guy was on that team. They had this weird-looking guy who was a really great defender who is like, oh, this fuck. and But he was very well-respected. He like scored a goal to get them to win the World Cup. Ramos, hot. Iniesta, Fabregas, Silva. Yeah, they've got they had a lot of really, really attractive men on that team. And I will show you photos, and you will...
00:21:41
Speaker
Oh, they were hot. They were all so hot and so good at football. Football. Football. Anyway, you're going to come to North Hollywood. We're going to go. We're going to look at some games together.
00:21:52
Speaker
I do. Yeah, I want to. England will be playing, so that's a game we should watch. Okay. Yeah. England's good to watch like that. Yeah. They're arguably one of the best ones to watch. All right. All right.
00:22:06
Speaker
Okay. They're not my ones to watch when it comes to food or guys. No, absolutely not. Absolutely not. God, did you say? Guys. Oh, it's not my ones for food or Or their religious beliefs, you know.
00:22:19
Speaker
ah I like my men from Brazil and my God from Colombia. Okay. Did you watch any of the Tony performances?
00:22:31
Speaker
I did. I watched clips. I watched clips on YouTube. Okay. Okay. Yeah. I basically watched just all the performances on YouTube. um Well, also too, I was very intrigued with Pink ah hosting. Loved it.
00:22:46
Speaker
Yeah. Do you love do you love Pink? Yeah. Do I love pink? Yeah. No, I hate pink. I hate pink. No, I really liked her. I really always liked her. I thought it was very interesting that she transitioned to this like aerial.
00:23:03
Speaker
We've
Broadway Shows & Hair Goals
00:23:04
Speaker
talked about it. Like she does the thing where she just gets like fucking flung around her stage in a big giant catapult basically. Right. So I've always been like, we went to let's get this party started to Cirque du Soleil whatever. So I was always very very interested into why she was doing it. But now I'm like, I think she's just like a very multi-talented, fascinating person who loves to challenge herself. I think this was like another way that she wanted to challenge herself.
00:23:31
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, she's very punk rock in that way that like. Singing and performing wasn't enough for her. She was like, i want to be up in the air. Yeah.
00:23:43
Speaker
You know, she's very like badass in that way of like down for like stunts and things. And I mean, I guess, yeah, honestly, so much of her career and work lends itself to Broadway.
00:23:56
Speaker
in a way so like i'm like i literally was watching some of it thinking like damn like they could come out with like a musical that's inspired by her music and um yeah and you know like a very titanic idea um and i was even like visualizing like the logo for the movie or for the show and everything just because her hair is so iconic like the whole whole show she had her like iconic silver hair and um just how like how she can like belt and everything like i don't know um but there did seem to be some like audio issues i feel like that night really at the tony awards yeah h like maybe some feedback issue or something because the woman who plays celine dion rough
00:24:48
Speaker
And there were like other moments in that performance and other performances where I'm like, is does everyone is everyone like recovering from a cold? You know, are we? I think they're all performing on Broadway eight nights a week doing that. So I think maybe this is like an extra added stressor. Yeah. And well, and it felt like that, like it felt like there were nerves involved as well with a few of them, too. Mm hmm.
00:25:17
Speaker
But yeah. I really like the Chicago number.
00:25:22
Speaker
I love women who commit crime. Be a woman, do crime, as I say. I love Book of Mormon. That was like my first Broadway play was Book of Mormon. I stood and watched it.
00:25:34
Speaker
I got like $25 standing room tickets. Where was this? New York in like 2011. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Love that. I mean, they they just did like a 15th anniversary, right? and That's what they were yeah doing. yeah they redid like They basically got back together the originated the original roles of like Andrew Reynolds and Olaf from...
00:26:01
Speaker
The snow movie. Frozen. Yes. That's right. That guy. And they reunited them on stage. And that was fun. what ah i watched her opening number. i watched the Rocky Horror number. The opening number. the and then to bring out Megan.
00:26:15
Speaker
I don't know if you caught all of that. did caught all of that. That was amazing. And the fact that they introed Megan with like a ragtime segment. Yeah. Because... I was sleeping on Ragtime.
00:26:27
Speaker
i'm Hot take. And this was like something I was going to bring up to um that I like broke down is like old Broadway versus new Broadway. Like I grew up very much with like West Side Story, Chicago, Hello, Dolly.
00:26:41
Speaker
And then. I feel like all of these newer ah shows, it takes me like years to like finally give it a moment to pay attention to, you know, um happened with Wicked. yeah Like I didn't really care for Wicked until the movie came out. And then I was like, oh, I've been sleeping on this. And then.
00:27:02
Speaker
was like watching all these performances of wicked on youtube and now i feel like i'm doing it with ragtime because never even thought about it thought it was like probably a lame musical and then they performed it separately they're on their own at the tonys and then they had that little like i think i watched that first and then watched how they like cameoed it in the opening number And I like was able to like appreciate that so much more because it was so funny and cute. It was just, yeah.
00:27:36
Speaker
Yeah. I lived for that. I lived for her lifting
00:27:44
Speaker
Neil Patrick Harris with just using her thighs into the air and singing at the same time. yeah I'm like, this bitch's core is rock solid. she's Someone is punching her in her stomach. like off stage to get her prepared for this stuff. Cause I, I can't even like do a crunch and speak.
00:28:03
Speaker
And she's full on belting while lifting a man off the ground, several feet and holding onto him. I bet she cracked a rib. There's no way it was. That was gaggy. Yeah.
00:28:14
Speaker
And I'm like, wait, wait, wait. He doesn't have any, um, wires on him. Yeah. So she's lifting him up like 15 feet. If he would have fallen. Yeah. He could have got hurt.
00:28:24
Speaker
Yeah. Should have gone higher. That's probably why they didn't. They were like, this is the safest height we can do this at. Without him risking fatal injury. Yeah, yeah. I know, but I'm like, it's the Tonys. We got to give them what they want. It's the Tonys. need danger. We need danger. If you're going to be doing Spider-Man turn off the dark and like whooshing people around and like so many of those people got hurt, like.
00:28:49
Speaker
Let's throw Neil Patrick Harris in the air about 40 more feet. You know what i mean? Like we want danger. Did they ever have Spider-Man in the Tonys? Like as part of the Tonys? I don't think so. I think it was such a disaster. Like it wasn't even. The the show was actually good. It was the fact that it was just dangerous and people kept getting hurt.
00:29:08
Speaker
Yeah. Which is like understandable if you're asking theater kids to do athletics. It's like you either have to hire Cirque du Soleil people to just come in and do it and hope they can act or you can't do the show.
00:29:26
Speaker
to Also, just again, for listeners who are not seeing what I'm seeing, your hair looks fantastic. Thank you. It really does. i think karma really did a number on you.
00:29:41
Speaker
um thanks yeah we're actually we're growing it out right now to potentially give it a perm next month so we'll see how that you want to perm your hair i want to see i want to see like how how um tight how tight are the curls you want like tight tight like it they're gonna have to be as tight as they can at the length that's the issue is like Because yesterday he basically like trimmed the sides and like cleaned up the back.
00:30:12
Speaker
But he didn't want to like take too much off where we still are going to need that length to curl it. You won't curl your hair. You're going to be my little Annie. Yes. The sun will come out. Tomorrow.
00:30:28
Speaker
Yeah, that's my my hope and dream. You're gonna bring a picture of her? Yeah. To the salon? Well, what's great is Karma actually has really nice tight curls and and he was like kind of warning me like if see if we did now it'd probably look more like this and i was like but your hair is cute like I guess you know maybe it wouldn't look good on me.
00:30:48
Speaker
ah We don't know but I'm like whatever you know. How long does that last? And that is why we didn't do it yesterday, because that was I don't know why, but I like texted him over a Pride weekend being like, so I'm entertaining the idea of a perm. Let's do it. did it a And then but yeah like two days ago, I texted him being like,
00:31:09
Speaker
So we're pausing that idea because um I'm going back home to Massachusetts this week.
TV Show Fantasies & Reboots
00:31:18
Speaker
We're going be hiking, doing water activities, water sports. Okay.
00:31:29
Speaker
ah Coming home for the family. things are different now it's pride month everyone has to be cool about it okay yeah so um i yeah i just didn't want a perm that would last not long but like i'm honestly and in even today i was thinking like oh maybe it's not even worth doing it until fall winter when i'm not gonna be like out and sweating maybe as much i love this idea. i'm i guess I'm having trouble imagining how tight the curls are going to be because, like,
00:32:05
Speaker
is it like Farrah Fawcett? Like, waves? Or are we talking, like, I'm, so like, Annie curls. Like, what are we talking?
00:32:16
Speaker
Curls, yeah. i I'm going to have to pull up a couple pictures of, like, the general idea. Because, like, even...
00:32:26
Speaker
When he like diffuses my hair to like just send me on my way, like it already feels like halfway there. I'm like, look, I like I know my hair can get wavy and it wants to kind of like curl in certain ways. So like if it just gets like that much. ooph i love that. Which you can't get. Like sometimes I try like those like curly conditioners and stuff like it's not happening. You need a gel and you need a first you need to wet it. Then you have to into the wet hair, put the gel. Then you have to like.
00:32:55
Speaker
curl individual curls and then pin it it's like a whole thing yeah yeah unless you have naturally curly hair really curly curly hair right you have to like really finesse it into curls it's a um it's a thing i have to tell you i because i when i said fair faucet the first thing i'd like i just saw masters of the universe he-man Yes.
00:33:21
Speaker
And my God. His hair in it when he becomes He-Man is Farrah Fawcett. He has a fucking blowout. Word. It's like a it's like an 80s, like almost like have you watched Ned's Declassified School Survivor? You know the blonde guy with the basketball.
00:33:37
Speaker
It's that hair. It's literally that hair. And I'm watching it. I'm like, this is the craziest shit I've ever seen. I can't believe that he has that hair. I mean, it looks awesome. But I was like, that's so nuts. I'm like, I almost wish that you did that.
00:33:49
Speaker
Gave yourself a little. Um, yeah. I mean, when I grew up my hair, yeah I sometimes did that, like gave it a little wave, Farrah Fawcett wave, because I could like do that curl. Sometimes I even put little curlers in overnight just to curl this hair up a little bit, even in, but then it looks crazy because it's like in some places, you know.
00:34:07
Speaker
Um, but you bring up Ned's Declassified and I feel like that's a show you could have been on. Me? Yeah. Why? i don't know. You feel, I feel like you like fit that cast. Yeah. When I remember like that cast. You think I'm Moe's or whatever. You think i'm I give Moe's energy. She's the love interest.
00:34:27
Speaker
Oh. I thought that was the one with the bowl cut. no that's Coconut Head. That's literally Coconut Head. That's a famously named character named Coconut Head. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no. I'm Moe's the girl. The girl on it. Mm-hmm. Fucking musician. I forget what the girl looks like. but She looks like me.
00:34:49
Speaker
Oh, and apparently she dated the guy when they were yeah kids. And then the now they like dated later or they're dating now or something. oh my God. Yeah. they had a They have a pod or they had a podcast. We're going to invite them to this pod.
00:35:03
Speaker
Yeah, they'll do it. I mean, they got nothing else to do. Except make you out and talk to Coconut Head. Yeah. Should we read them a letter and goes, hey, my friend looks exactly like Coconut Head.
00:35:15
Speaker
They show up. I'm in full Coconut Head drag. Yeah, I got Q-tips and Q-tips. I got K-tips installed all around my head, cut into a bowl cut shape.
00:35:27
Speaker
It really works for me. My life is different. They reboot the show. They don't hire the actor back. They hire me. I'm taller than all of them. They're all like because they're all actors.
00:35:39
Speaker
I'm huge. I tower over of everybody. They're like, we gave coconut head growth hormone. I kind of put parade down the streets. Why we're back in middle school. No one talks about it. It's like a post-apocalypse type situation.
00:35:54
Speaker
Yeah. What are you going to do on the show? What am I going to do? Yeah, what are you going to I want to run the like, I want there to be like, I think this was more in Hannah Montana, but I want there to be like a beachside, like gift shop cabana type situation that you guys come visit.
00:36:11
Speaker
And I'm like working it and I'm like, Hey guys. And it's like, Hey, yeah, Tony. And what does Tony do professionally? runs the fucking gift shop cabana convenience store like you guys get your like treats after school there so it's always like the bit and like sometimes it's like the it's like what gets us out of scene or like cuts to commercial you know it's like oh we got I don't know something here I love that in this world where you could be anything or anyone you want to run a gift shop that's adjacent to a middle school where you sell candy and all sorts of stuff but yeah and poppers yes candy and rush at the beachside convenience store near this middle school and you're always like coming down for a bender and maybe you guys are oh yeah and you guys are always asking me for like the most random shit and I have it and you somehow have it I somehow have it Oh, you need like a carburetor? Yeah. You guys are like, we're planning on like pulling the big so senior prank and we need rope.
00:37:21
Speaker
We need rope, a butter, and a small little tiny pair of shorts that say slam piece on the back. And I'm like, oh, hey, guys, I got all of that right here. And then I'm like, I turn and Diablo, my parrot.
00:37:36
Speaker
Well, of course, Diablo, your parrot. He's holding up the little shorts. And he's like, ah. Slam dunk. Diablo, my parrot. Yeah. Of course. This is actually really great writing. Yeah, quick, someone, someone write this out. Write this out. This is great. This is like NESD classified meets rocket power meets like. Yeah. I guess that. OK, hey.
00:37:57
Speaker
Clip that. Send it over. Tag that pod. Yeah. you guys We are going to save Warner Brothers with this. concert I don't think they're Warner Brothers. I think they're famously Nickelodeon, which is now owned by Paramount, which is owned by who? The Ellisons.
00:38:14
Speaker
Oh, yeah. It's not good. It's not good for anybody. Damn. Yeah. We're all fucked. It's fine. You know who's going to save us?
Body Image & Comedic Quiz
00:38:23
Speaker
The new. Steven. What? Oh, Steven Spielberg. Yeah.
00:38:27
Speaker
I was going to say the new first trillionaire of the world. Beached whale Magoo. Autistic beached whale Magoo. Damn. Yeah, that's who it is.
00:38:38
Speaker
God, I look at photos of him and it makes me feel better about my body. I go, hey, at least at least I don't look like the upside down letter V.
00:38:51
Speaker
Yep. No, not upside down. i would Just a regular be I mean, I look like the letter I want to be a v He's a V. I'm a p You are A?
00:39:04
Speaker
No? What are you? I don't know what I am. An A and a V is similar shape. No. They're the opposite of each other. Oh, yeah, yeah. But they're rocking on same thing. He's He's like broad ass tits, tiny little waist, no legs, basically. I'm a letter P.
00:39:20
Speaker
Big fucking giant rack. No ass. What are you? I guess I'd want to be a Y. That's cool.
00:39:30
Speaker
Shoulders, knees and chest, tiny waist, long legs. Yeah, I like that. I like that. And I think you do have that. I'm going to say that to people now. When you pad, you're an eight.
00:39:43
Speaker
yeah no i feel like when i'm pat when i pad i'm more of a i don't even think they make that letter it's a symbol it's a mayan symbol for get out of here it's literally like pear shaped i feel like oh that's i think that's a hot shape i like a bottom heavy heavy bitch i heard I heard that. I've seen this about you. Listen, it's I'm jealous of what I don't have. Like, I wish that I could take my breasts and and scooch them all the way down, put them all in my ass.
00:40:15
Speaker
Okay. I feel like you're very proportionate to your tits and ass. not proportionate all. Nothing about me is proportionate. My head is pea-sized. My shoulders are big. My tits are huge. I have no ass.
00:40:26
Speaker
None of it's working. but But if you wear big enough pants and tight enough bras... you kind of become a ah like a kind of a nondescript shape that people don't really look at. And then you trick the eye away and then they're just kind of focusing on the background and then you just live your life that way.
00:40:45
Speaker
It's pretty great. You, you heard it here guys. Big pants type bra. Can't lose. this has enticed you, the DMS are open. If you want someone you could look at past them,
00:41:02
Speaker
hit me up if you want someone that you'd your eyes just slide quickly all around except for the target there you basically anyone that's burned their corneas out in the middle and could only see you know like they a vignette and around their eyesight that's who i'm cataract community hit me up yeah sound off in the comments type it out use whatever little tool you have to do so ah Have a friend send the mail in if you need. Yeah. Let me know.
00:41:30
Speaker
I'm on the lookout. I did help visually impaired people in high school for a summer. So I'm familiar with your gadgets, your gizmos and more. Uh-huh.
00:41:41
Speaker
The gadgets and gizmos are plenty. Yeah. Yeah. I want to be where the people are. I want
00:42:02
Speaker
Oh,
00:42:08
Speaker
that was good. Your brain, I just saw it... i I've never seen someone's brain work before.
00:42:20
Speaker
In real time. Oh my god, that's good. That was good. Well, okay, with that, I think we're going to take a break and Dasha's about to put me through a rigorous gay game.
00:42:31
Speaker
I am. Called Are You Fucking Gay Enough? Are you fucking gay enough, bitch? it' it' It's pretty it's intense. Alright, well get ready. Okay, bye.
00:42:53
Speaker
And I promise I'll take you care of it and I won't do-do in it. Okay. We are back and we are about to play a game and it's called, are you fucking gay enough? Hey, are you fucking gay enough?
00:43:05
Speaker
Why are you gay? So I did a lot of research for this, um which included, what what didn't it include? I typed into Google ah gay quiz, question mark, and but all of them look kind of stupid, but this one was called Next Gay Thing, Ultimate How Gay Are You Test, Taking the Legendary and Ultimate Gay Test to Find Exactly How Gay You Are. Are You Gay? Question mark.
00:43:33
Speaker
take some time to think about it with your friends so i'm so concerned me too honestly i don't know i don't think you're gonna pass okay first question first all are you ready i guess i am ready in are you wearing the ceremonial gay alpha for this it definitely not i'll tell you that much not not in this quick go put on a jock strap and come back Ugh. Okay. i'm not Not that. i Okay.
00:44:02
Speaker
I wish I could. Okay, that's just a suggestion for my entertainment. If you don't want to do don't want do your friend to sell it. I'm like looking I'm like, can throw something on? Actually, you know what? Yeah. Yeah, put on a little wiglet.
00:44:14
Speaker
I got the perfect thing. What is it? I got my Reba. Oh, God, yes. Oh, yeah. You say that's Reba. It's giving more Reba after a pack of cigs.
00:44:31
Speaker
It's killing Billy Ray Cyrus, my friend. Yeah, this is probably even less gay. This is Billy Ray Cyrus. There's no Reba in the building. OK. OK. First question, Billy. um Are you gay? Question mark. Multiple choice, by the way. ah Option one. No, but my boyfriend is. Option two. Yes. And proud of it.
00:44:53
Speaker
Three. I'm experiencing. I'm experimenting, I suppose. And four. Not as far as I know. What was number B again? Yes. And I'm proud of it.
00:45:03
Speaker
Yeah. That one. Continue. I would i would say. Taylor Swift is. Ugh.
00:45:14
Speaker
Well, I guess you'll love this. a Madonna shared Lady Gaga wannabe. Option two, the queen of everything. Three, who? Question mark? That one. Who?
00:45:25
Speaker
Jesus. It's going like, not only you gay, you're catty as fuck. Okay. I dot dot dot. Fill in the blank. Love hot underwear.
00:45:35
Speaker
Don't care about my underwear. Usually don't wear good underwear, but would love to. Boy, I need these again. Number one, I love hot underwear.
00:45:48
Speaker
Yeah. Option two, I don't care about my underwear. Option three, i usually don't wear good underwear, but I would love to. I'm going to say number two, I think some of the hottest...
00:46:00
Speaker
things is the like not caring about the underwear you're wearing and I I tend be less turned on the more obsessed the what underwear I'm wearing is if that makes sense okay I like it okay I meet new people largely on Grindr, B, Instagram, C, Facebook, D, bars and clubs, E, I don't like people, F, at work.
00:46:42
Speaker
The Instagram one.
00:46:45
Speaker
It's going to tell you you're A ah hermit. No, it's to tell you're Midwestern wife. Okay. Next.
00:46:54
Speaker
Have you ever had your eyebrows plucked, waxed, or in some other way modified? Yes, I'm not an animal. No, why would I ever do that? There's two options. That's the only thing. It's the yes. i I've had them threaded, plucked, tweezed, sat on.
00:47:12
Speaker
yeah I wonder if you're gay. um No, those are really good brows. I'm very envious of your brows. i gotta Every day i got to actually check on them. It gets crazy.
00:47:24
Speaker
I love it. It's like very manly. i like it. with the Okay, stop. Don't look me in the eye. Okay. With this wig. i'm like Billy, stop. Your sex symbol. Okay. How many different perfumes do you have?
00:47:38
Speaker
I don't use perfume. Less than three. More than seven. I lost count.
00:47:46
Speaker
It's gonna be it's gonna be the third one more than seven I lost count because there's no you what was it you said the other one was more than three less than three i don't use perfume or more than seven I lost count yeah it would have to be that one because I have more than three and I love cologne yeah take some time and think about your friends who are they Mostly straight girls, mostly straight guys, mostly gay guys, mostly lesbians.
00:48:20
Speaker
Wow, this is like the, this is made by gay guy because there's absolutely no nuance to this fucking quiz. Okay, so this is the kind of crazy thing. Is out of all of those options, the thing I think I have the most of is number one.
00:48:40
Speaker
Is A. Straight girls? And this is why this is why i'm saying this. at your birthday party, I counted only gay men. There was two women, one that was brought with someone else, and me. Yeah, but here's the thing, is that, and this might be too much for the pod, but like, a lot of those gay men that were at my party were like, either freshly budding gay men, or like,
00:49:10
Speaker
I don't know, i like gay adjacent in some category. Interesting, okay. At least in my world. Okay. Um...
00:49:20
Speaker
And then I feel like anyone who was like gay gay was... Not there. Was not there. um Was like, you know, like... Uh-huh. Obviously, like and Trev and like Trev's friends, you know, I would say That's so funny. But like, ah yeah, I'm trying to think. I mean, yeah, you met David gay.
00:49:40
Speaker
um Everyone there was gay. Yeah. the The guys were gay, but like they weren't all... there was only They weren't all like... Okay. Okay. well because well then I don't know because because do you think gay is like circuit gay like darkroom gay like what's your definition of gay in the scene gay I mean I guess I could say most of my friends are gay men but I feel like a a balance is the a lot of the straight girls that I'm friends with too that i and you think you have more friends with straight women you have more straight women friends like you guys I think so
00:50:16
Speaker
Then we're going to put it. Mostly straight girls. Okay. That should be too more gay. Okay. Favorite drink. Cocktails. Cocktail. Water.
00:50:29
Speaker
Ice latte. God, this is like so skewed. Beer. I don't care.
00:50:38
Speaker
Iced latte was an answer? Yes. See, i I would probably go with that, but I don't like lattes. I like just iced coffee. And then cocktails was the other option. Cocktails, water, iced latte, beer. I don't care. It's between iced latte and cocktails. What do you think I should write? they're both I feel like you love coffee, and I think an iced latte is like... Okay, do that. yeah Which is good. Okay. How many pairs of shoes do you own? One pair per season? Way too many.
00:51:08
Speaker
That's the two options. Yes. Those are the two options. I would say way too many then because I definitely have a handful.
00:51:20
Speaker
God damn it. have to put my email into this. oh It's fine. It's fine. i don't care. i don't care. um Yeah, this is interesting. But yeah, the look friend thing is interesting just because the results are in. Oh, okay.
00:51:34
Speaker
Okay.
00:51:37
Speaker
The results are in everybody. Now, before I say it, thinking your head, guessing your head, what percentage of gay Anya is keeping in mind that for majority of our podcast, Anya is dressed in drag um and is currently sporting at my, at Billy Ray Cyrus wig and is talking to me on the phone and the results are in You are 64% gay.
00:52:07
Speaker
64%. mean. This wig is giving you at least 20% more. I have do this. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. But I mean, the outfit is definitely giving less than. I would say a little of the fringe. 64% is wild. Yeah. And if you'd like, you could pay them to send you your gay card.
00:52:26
Speaker
Would you like me to do that? Not for 64%. I don't even deserve that card. Okay. If it was 75 or more, you'd buy it. Yeah, 75 at least. So you're, wow, you're more bisexual than I thought. That,
00:52:42
Speaker
oh my God, I'm bisexual. You're bisexual. I gotta start. You're bi. I gotta make some calls. You gotta you gotta warn some people. Hey, world.
00:52:53
Speaker
This website told me the truth. None of you were brave enough to let me know bi.
00:53:00
Speaker
Yeah. Amazing. my God. Amazing. Absolutely. 64% gay. The results are in honey. I am gagged. seventy four it's You gotta, yeah, screenshot that for me, please. I have to put that to the post.
00:53:13
Speaker
That is wild. Yeah. It's amazing. Absolutely amazing. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you for living your truth and not lying. I'm proud of you for loving. ice lattes and hating Taylor Swift. I'm proud of you for the man and the straight man that you are inside.
00:53:35
Speaker
You look like Maradona. fuck of Yeah, I honestly, I'm going to be thinking about this all week. I know. I can't wait for you to come to my house with your new girlfriend. i Yeah, I'm like, I feel, I feel so straight. I feel trade like.
00:53:52
Speaker
I feel like. Mm hmm. I have so much like unearned power. I, your potential is limitless now. It really is. There was no ceiling for me. I'm just scared about all these straight women you're friends with that are going to now they a shot. See, this what Remember when I first got this new haircut and we did the pod and I was all about your titties? That was the 64% right there. That's what happened. It's the 46% that was coming out. Yeah, yeah. The 46% that were like honkering. Honkers. Yeah.
00:54:27
Speaker
That's how knew you were straight. Because you kept referring to them as such. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. It's pretty amazing. Proud of you. I can show you the world.
00:54:39
Speaker
Oh God. Wow. Your credit score just went up. Your business opportunities. I mean, 64%. I am like, I could reach every demographic with that. You really can't. You really, you're Harry Styles. should run for like a mayor position. Oh please, you win tonight. I win tonight in this Bobby race this week. There it is.
00:54:58
Speaker
Listen, if 100,000 people voted for Chris Pratt, whatever the fuck his name is. Yes, Chris Pratt. Thank you. Crystal Bitch, whatever his name is. If 100,000 people voted for him, they'll vote for you in a Billy Ray Cyrus wig. 100%. Come on. All you have to do is tell them that you'll definitely move out of Los Angeles if you lose.
00:55:17
Speaker
Yeah, yeah. I'll leave them with that. Yeah. What was his name, actually? Sean Evans. No. no No, not the guy that interviews people with hot wings. and I know. And he's now with Kiki. I know. I love it. I do love it. I hope they're actually together. because i like pr Yeah, we'll see.
00:55:35
Speaker
Oh, that seems. um But anyway, yeah, um not Chris Pratt, but something Pratt. Spencer. Spencer Pratt. God, he's such a fucking boil. Yeah. Speaking of Susan Boyle, she came back with a new. I know. I saw the piece. Oh, my God. I went, girl, what is that lace front doing? Why is it so long? Working overtime, working for very little budget. I got to be honest. I wish she just shaved her fucking head.
00:55:59
Speaker
I wish she would be become like a ah Sia and just put something over her head. That's the meanest thing you've ever said. That's the meanest thing you've ever said about anyone ever. Holy shit. of And on that note, thank you for watching. ok Weeks, months, years, dom and dom. That's right. Thank you so much for taking the Taking the time. um Listen to Susan Boyle's new album. Yeah. And just close your eyes, I guess. It will help.
00:56:28
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, whatever. Music is meant to be listened to. That's right. And cheap? Not to looked at. Happy World Cup. Yeah. a Happy summer. Happy Pride. Happy everything. Well, Happy Pride. It's now July, so I guess enjoy your July 4th.
00:56:43
Speaker
Oh, great. 250 years in America. Honey. It's the anniversary. 24. 250 years in the making, baby. Oh, my God. You know who's also 64% gay? Okay. Bye. america ok bye