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Episode 011: Bangs, CVS and Hunting
24 Plays1 month ago
If you are stressing out, so are we! That’s why in this month’s episode, your hosts Anya and Dasha are focusing on…Christmas? They really zone in on “Snowman poop” and faux fire places in Los Angeles. Take a wild guess if they like those things.
Dom and Dommer is about two friends who talk about everything under the sun and over the moon. We're not only global, we're interstellar. We're also local. Right at your backdoor. We talk about the dumb and the profound. The high and low. So strap in and strap on.
Follow Us @anyabhynz & @dashafayv
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Transcript
Podcast Anticipation & Humor
00:00:11
Speaker
Hello, hello, hello. This is your favorite podcast you look forward to every month. On the clock, you go refresh, refresh. Where are they? Yeah, you're like, it is the first. This is the only thing I do on the first. Don't pay rent. Just listen to Dom and Dommer.
Windy Night & Plant Stimulation
00:00:38
Speaker
yeah they're just at home they're going I don't need to pay rent when I'm paying these bitches attention mm-hmm we are we've we've lived another month oh my god we made it oh we did we did it's starting to get cooler oh thank god actually this week was so hot oh my yeah what the hell is that about yeah it was windy last night though that was that was scary all my my new plants that are on the balcony were just being thrown around just Manhandled by mother nature. You need to get those plants that you need to do that to, you know, like the kind of like... Like a feather leaf? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or you have to like rustle them in order to stimulate something inside of them. I also need to be rustled to get stimulated. I know, that's why I come over every first of the month and I just shake you awake in bed. You just ruffle my feathers. Uh-huh. I go, I brought all these wigs for bags, we gotta get them out.
00:01:30
Speaker
you Shake and go, baby,
Fashion Praise & Nostalgia
00:01:32
Speaker
shake and go. For those who are um enjoying this podcast through audio means, you need to understand that I'm sitting across one of the most beautiful creatures on the planet, on the behind, currently sporting one of the most gorgeous leather ensembles I have ever seen in my entire life. The hair is herring, the bangs are banging, the makeup is symmetrical and sits just right. I am loving this whole outfit, you look really fucking good.
00:01:56
Speaker
Thank you. as As you put it, I'm the the best wench around. You are. You're my wench. And you're giving a soccer mom who is going through a want to be young again, hairdo, late 80s, early 90s. Yeah. That's a different shape yeah take. That's a different take. I respect that. I mean, it's also glamorous and gorgeous and beautiful. And I love it. It's giving to me, it's like Wayne's world. It's like, yeah, it's Wayne and
Cosmetic Trips & Airline Jokes
00:02:31
Speaker
Garth or whatever. I'm giving like Garth who just was on NASA trip and decided to dye his hair. I'm kind of digging the bangs too. I'm really enjoying it. They are um like, I've never had anything touch my eyebrows like this. And I realized I really enjoy it. Yeah, it's kind of soothing. Yeah. I just, wait I don't have enough hair for bangs. I barely have enough hair for
00:02:53
Speaker
a ponytail so I don't know if I could spare any hairs in the front for the bang but if I were to get like a hair system I was gonna see even just a clip on bang yeah you think you think you'd come with me to Turkey oh okay yeah I mean it is the season to go to Turkey is this when people go November? You know, like Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving. For this era, God. I'm getting my turkey from turkey. I'm gonna get my teeth done, I'm gonna get my hair done, they're gonna get my feet done after. ah for What's wrong with your feet? I mean, what's what's right with them? I'm trying to make them less attractive. um Too many people are hounding me these days for my little Tootsies.
00:03:41
Speaker
Well, good to know you're going to come with me because I'd be so scared to go on that flight by myself. To Turkey? Yeah, I don't care if they're going to stick needles in my head. I'm just afraid of the plane. Yeah. Well, and we'd be spending so much money on the the needles that we probably have to fly spirit. It's going to break my spirit if I go on that.
00:04:01
Speaker
umma rather spirit airlines yeah i was like let's just freeze past that sponsored by Spirit Airlines really should think about doing like a ah December marketing campaign with Santa Claus, right?
Spirit Airlines & Santa Ad Campaign
00:04:19
Speaker
Yeah, where he doesn't go on the plane because he's like, I actually want to be in time, on time for these children to get presents. So I'm not going to go on Spirit. I'll go on any other airline. I'll walk there. You can't even, you can bring one toy onto the airplane because they don't allow a second toy. Wait, that's an amazing marketing campaign for all the other, yeah like they're like, would you go on this thing? And it's like Santa literally standing online being like, I would have to pay how much for each one of these gifts? He's like, I'm in group G. It's not even a group G. Yeah, they're like, no, you're a first classer, which is what, buy the toilet, enjoy that. I'm on a milk crate. Oh my God, he'd love that though. Cause he, he's like of the people, you know? Santa. Oh yes, san Santa is. If there was ever somebody who was of the people, Santa. absolutely but we We need Santa on the ballot this year.
00:05:13
Speaker
my god i think it's like the thing is like they would still find ways to like discredit him you know what i mean anybody that would go on the map they'll be like have you haven't you heard like he employs like elves and he doesn't get there's not like good working conditions like santa's actually a nazi like they'll find a way to twist it well if santa was a nazi they they probably endorse him that's true ah i was gonna say santa's a border crosser obviously
00:05:44
Speaker
Sam is an illegal alien, actually. You know, he's just he's actually known for crossing borders. That's like his tea. and That is tea. That is his tea. Sam's tea has a huge... Santa's the original border crosser. And we love him!
Childhood Holiday Misunderstandings
00:06:00
Speaker
i I know this is not our like wintery Christmas episode, but I do remember how excited I would get like making like reindeer food or like snowman food.
00:06:13
Speaker
why like for the reindeer when they would come with Santa like you would make if you were to make cookies and milk for Santa then you make reindeer food for the reindeer which is what it's like oats with glitter and maybe like one other element oh that's so sweet because for some reason when you were first talking about this I thought you were saying you were giving them like poop yeah mea And I was like, what kind of system is this? But have you had Snowman Poop the food? What? also That would be a good band name. Snowman Poop the band. The band. Snowman Poop the band. Yeah. But I want the band to be in the name. Exactly. Okay. But yeah, I think Snowman Poop is just like little marshmallows with like the mini chocolate chips and then like coconut flakes.
00:07:04
Speaker
And then it's like something you would snack on. I think I'm going to make something that actually sounds really good. That's actually very sweet. that's that I had something completely different in my mind. I thought it was actual you know feces. speaking of yeah Speaking of feces, have you watched any Dragula this
Emotional Concert Experience
00:07:23
Speaker
year? I'm too busy going to Jack White concerts, AKA one Jack White concert. Yeah, that's right. OK, wait. So we've got to get into that. That was one of the things I remember seeing on your story. and you seemed like you were having a blast last year. I think you literally said like, this is the best night of my life or this is the best concert ever. Yeah. um I don't know Jack White like that. So when when I saw like you post the picture of like the marquee, I thought it was um that comedian Jack Whitehall
00:07:54
Speaker
Oh, and they just forgot the second part of his name. Yeah, I just was not even. Yeah. I was like, Oh my God, how exciting. And then when they cut to like who that person, I was like, that is not Jack White. Jack White is like, even from like middle school, I was obsessed with him. I thought he was like one of the most talented, amazing companies in the world. He, you would know him from Don't Hurt Yourself on Beyonce's Lemony album. Also like Seven Nation Army. I've Always wanted to see him, but he's like very elusive. It only does like small shows or... and Anyway, he's like an artist artist, you know? And he announced two days before the show in l LA that he's selling tickets in the small venue. And I somehow got a ticket. Yeah, I got two. I got one for me in my Rumi Jordan. And I, I saw God.
Concert Fashion Critique
00:08:47
Speaker
Like I saw the Lord up on that stage.
00:08:51
Speaker
I cried maybe six times. Whenever he would do like a guitar solo, I would just start weeping. There was a man behind me who drove five hours to come see this concert. And he already saw Jack in San Francisco. So this is like a second show in two weeks. And he- What was the demographic like there? Old, old fogeys like me, you know, elderly, uh, the- The mullet oh yes style. Yeah. It was everybody wearing white jeans.
00:09:19
Speaker
Air Forces and a tie-dye shirt that says smile on it. And I'm like, what? I was about to go. You said white jeans. And I was like, oh, white jeans. And then I looked, you're in white jeans. Yeah. See, mama. Interesting. So what do you have against white jeans, mama? Say it for the people. I guess I just don't come across them as much anymore, but they're cute. They're nice. It's fun, different.
00:09:47
Speaker
You got a lot of nerve coming over here serving smithy from fucking Peter Pan over here. I i know it is. it's It's like if they redid Peter Pan and it was like a hot porn. I love that even in this scenario where you're trying to kind of read yourself, you're still like, I'm hot.
00:10:07
Speaker
Even in this scenario, you're like, ah totally, I'm gonna go with you on this journey 100%. Also, I'm super high. But I'm hot. But I'm really hot. And I'm hot too, wearing my white jeans. I like white jeans, you know why? Because that way people know I'm not constantly shitting myself. Thank you. You could hide behind your little young jeans, your little black jeans, your little gray jeans, your little legging situation, your little leather shorts. People know, yeah. But with me,
00:10:36
Speaker
Right away, they know that I'm not pooping my pants. Yeah, you just brought me back to that concert yet
Disney Trip & Security Mishaps
00:10:41
Speaker
again where I thought I shit myself. There you go. And if you were wearing white pants, I could have right away told you if you were or not, you wouldn't have to go and check in the bathroom. Yeah, exactly. I can't believe you had to go and check if you shit yourself. That is like, honestly, to me, it's like,
00:10:57
Speaker
I was so taken aback by that. Yeah, I will i guess it was just the drugs, maybe. What drugs? We weren't on any drugs. Well, I was. who okay Okay, discovery, i'm breaking news. I had, like, microdose terms. That's not a drug. That's that's not a drug. they're not I mean, they're classified federally as drugs, right? They're not drugs, they're from the ground.
00:11:23
Speaker
work. I think all things are from the ground. Not heroin. Fine, like synthetic drugs is that kind of what I'm thinking. Yeah. yeah you is Okay, so this is a ah story. um Similar, yet different, but I don't know why I get myself in these situations. We go to Disney, we went, Heidi, Jada, Jada's boyfriend, and I made sure that my little satchel was like properly like rummaged through, cleaned out, only necessities, except for one pill that I had in a little bag. Like a little, um which this is what makes it worse. It was like a blunt wrapper and I put this like little pill in it and it was like an antidepressant.
00:12:11
Speaker
um And they were like, what is this? And they're looking and they're trying to understand like the packaging. And I was like, how do I tell them this is a blunt wrapper that I then reused as like a little case for this one antidepressant. But Disney was like, hell to the nah. Now, second part, yes I'm like, please just get it just like throw it away. I don't care. Everyone's looking. Everyone's concerned. they You know what they let slide? You know what they let me come in with that was also in that bag?
00:12:42
Speaker
a massive bag of edibles, like straight up edibles packed with like gummies and also in a ziploc bag that looked questionable. They were like, that's fine. They were like, I think they even like snickered because they were probably like, we're ridiculous. Like this, this young, beautiful woman is trying to sneak by with a sack of drugs and antidepressants, I don't know, and condoms.
00:13:06
Speaker
Wait, what was that for? Why did you bring a bunch of comments with you? It was like in the front like zipper of this pack and I was like, okay, I'll just leave these, whatever, it's not like... Yeah, in case I get frisky in the Hall of Presidents. Yeah, I got you, I got you. In the Hall of Presidents. and The hottest ride of Disney, I know. Everyone agrees with my name. Every time I go, I find out there's new stuff there that I've never heard about. I went on the Tower of Terror for the first time.
00:13:32
Speaker
when it was still a shower of terror? No, I went on the one that was like Guardians of the Dead and whatever. And so no one told me what it was. I thought it was, in my head, I thought it was the Haunted Mansion. Like I mixed them up. So I was very excited. And I was like, well, this looks kind of different from the last time I was on this. Like, and I was like, where's the elevator? I'm like, there's no elevator. Like, because I was, you know, the like,
00:13:53
Speaker
Stretching thing that they do yeah, and I was like really looking forward to that And then there and then what I found out is that no they load me into a chair strap me down and drop me to the goddamn ground Yes, multiple times. I lost my hat my hat my hat was gone I was really sad. I had to get another hat I had to go to Mickey's, Mickey's hat or whatever and I had to get a hat. Oh god you had just gotten the hat No, I got the hat a couple of months ago at the Angel City Stadium. It was like an Angel City okay hat. It was really cool. And it felt homophobic when it came off my head and disappeared. But did you have a good time? um Yes. Oh, yeah, I had a great time. i
00:14:36
Speaker
we stayed not like in the park but We stayed at the the Anaheim, we stayed in the park. I wouldn't have, overnight, overnight in the park, in the bushes. Well you know there's like those Disney-specific hotels that are like attached to the resort. You didn't stay there. We stayed at like the Marriott, like the Anaheim Marriott. Do they have like ah Disney stuff there? for No, I thought they would and when we got there I asked about like oh is there a shuttle in the morning because we stayed there the night before and the night after so that
00:15:08
Speaker
we could just get up early and go right to the park and they were like oh we don't we don't really have shuttles to the park but we'll have this one thing that you could like go on a QR code download an app and they will pick you up basically a city bus and I was like no like I would rather over the lake mile, half mile down the road that this is. Yeah. Okay, this is another really funny thing is that there would be moments where people were excited to see Heidi and Jada and like they want to take pictures and talk to them and it's like that's happening and then like 25 feet away is like ah Cinderella's stepmother and the stepsisters like doing their photo shoot being angry um and people are like looking over like, oh, who's that? What's what's going on? Like work.
00:15:57
Speaker
That's how I felt when I went with you to the district. Wait, district? Precinct? Precinct. Oh, Jesus. I'm sorry.
Makeup Mishaps & Humor
00:16:08
Speaker
I was like, district. District. Precinct. District. Precinct. I love that. That's what you thought of. Yeah, my brain broke. But that's how I felt when I went with you. It was like, everyone kept stopping you every three seconds to talk to you. And I was like, damn, all right. It's a little silly. That's because I just don't get out often. So everyone's like, oh my god, Anya's out from the very complimentary. Did you see my mug last night? Yeah you were like a zombie turtle.
00:16:38
Speaker
This is where where we've been put the picture like right here to really solidify. Tell me this isn't or was it like a Frankenstein monster? It was definitely more like skull Frankenstein.
00:16:51
Speaker
Listen, I don't claim to be good at makeup. I don't claim to be good at anything. I don't claim to be good, period. Tell me. Yeah. What are you good at successfully? but Quick. Quick. Quickly. Quickly. God, that was so epic. All right, guys. We got to go take a little break, but we'll be right back. Yeah. ah Can you break?
00:17:12
Speaker
but taking a risk we
00:17:26
Speaker
Breaking news, breaking news. We're back after um Anya written down to Phil's about my bangs. Off camera. Listen, as as a connoisseur bang, not say it um I just, you know, I didn't want to see them struggling as much as I saw you struggling.
00:17:45
Speaker
um And that comes from the heart. If you were a good Judy or a good friend, you would have reached on over the aisle, you would have, you know, Shifted my wig back to a position that wasn't um down my face. You know what? I know that the phrase goes, no soldier left behind, no child left behind. the i I was gonna leave you behind. i You were too far gone. and um You were gonna leave me. You left me. yeah I saw a little dust print in the air of how quickly... Yeah, it was coyote from the frickin' Road Runner cartoons. You were like, all I saw was your shadow.
00:18:22
Speaker
A little skirt and some boots. Speaking about fixing our bangs. That's an amazing transition because I know exactly what's about to happen. Say it. Do we fix America?
Importance of Voting
00:18:38
Speaker
Well, according to your logic, you are leaving that behind to figure yourself out. um We do fix America. We do it. By voting. By voting, yes. It's November 1st, people. November 5th is the election. Put in your mail-in ballots. I'm gonna bring this bad boy straight into a ballot box. So you should do the same. Research your local representatives who's on the ballot. It's not only the presidential race that's important, it's also important because there's a lot of local propositions on those. Go vote. Yeah, do a BuzzFeed quiz. Like ahha figure figure out where you not only stand, but
00:19:16
Speaker
what the real issues are, and sometimes it's confusing. You know, you see those commercials on on TV super late, and it's like, do I vote for that prop? Do I not vote for that prop? What's a prop? What's a prop? I'm a prop queen, I should know. That's right. um And so those are the moments where I've noticed too, like, I think I've done some research, then I go to the the booth and suddenly I'm like I need to look this up again because sometimes they make it seem like oh this is such a good idea and then there's like hidden hidden meanings hidden figures um yeah question for you when your parents moved here how did they feel about voting how did they feel about politics my parents and this is the you know my parents are
00:20:11
Speaker
of the generation that they just fall for things that are being given to them on their feet. Like unfortunately, like they are being fed things and they're not really caring. Like they don't trust anything because they're from Russia. So it's like, they just believe everyone's constantly lying to them all the time. So they're very like, um like their representative is AOC. That's their actual representative. Like if to me, that's the most amazing thing in the world. I would be so optimistic if I knew that that was somebody who was representing my district.
00:20:40
Speaker
they couldn't get the best of the shit, they're like, who's that? I'm like, who's that? I'm like trying, you know, I'm there if my whip is sliding back. Maybe that's why I've been pulling it down. Yeah, you know what, just pull it down. Yeah, I think bullet the reason why I asked was because like my family, growing up like voting wasn't as big of a priority. Like I wasn't talked a lot about. local Locally, yes, but I feel like that was also because my family had a couple like political friends, and that was the only time I heard about politics coming up. But like yeah, I feel like now, especially me moving out here, and maybe it's just the climate being different, but ah it comes up more, and I i hope that they vote. and i you know They rightfully say that it's like, nothing's going to change. A lot of these politicians are just like in the pocket of like corporations. like that They have that as the idea. They're very pessimistic.
00:21:36
Speaker
So it is really hard to kind of, but they still vote. Like they still, they go, it's important for us to do this. Like, even if the change isn't exactly what we want, like they still participate in it, but it is, it's hard to hear how disen, like, yeah, disenchanted they are with the process. But I'm also like, like, why'd you leave a country where your vote doesn't matter to a country where it actually does matter? Like, we you know,
00:22:05
Speaker
if not to have the opportunity to cast it or whatever. I mean, like it's like, I get it. I love them. They're still doing it. I'm happy they're doing their research. like They live in a blue state. It's like it's not as scary if they were like living in Florida or something. But I don't know. It's like, do your research, people. And like make sure you're left people that are not beholden to corporations. Yeah. Yeah.
Corporate Influence & Politics
00:22:31
Speaker
That's all it is. it's like if you like These people only do things you don't like because They're weighing like, well, if I disappoint you and what you want, I still get to have a job. Whereas if I disappoint target dot.com, I'm not gonna have a seat because I can't run for reelection. So it's like, think about it think about it this way. Like vote for people who are not beholden to corporations. Very true. Boom. Yeah, that does make it very messy. But people are greedy and they want the donors and they want, you know, it's insane how much money actually goes into
00:23:06
Speaker
a running campaign and how much the NRA is putting into stuff. Yeah, I know. It's wild. It's like people are going, how can children are being shot in schools and no one's doing anything about it? I'm like, well, because the people who are like responsible for policy, 90% of their freaking campaign money is from the NRA.
00:23:29
Speaker
zeroes across the board. How do you give me nothing dead in the face? you Nothing. My god. You're an overgrown Obrangatang. Such a good movie. What? Paris is Burning? Oh yeah yeah yeah. I mean I'm a child of the RuPaul age so I think about it from the track from the music track but obviously yeah she stole it from Paris is Burning. I will i will ah remove my queer card for a few moments now. It's okay. I like didn't know whether I'd mess up Judy Garland or whatever. that would No, my god that was you. Nope, that was you. You're like, no, actually, yeah, you messed up. No, I never really messed up. Oh, I've never seen Wizard of Oz. Excuse me? I've never seen Wizard of Oz. That we did not get into. Yeah, I've never seen it. Okay, well, we have to watch that. That's fucked up. I've seen it. We're not gonna lie. Okay.
00:24:20
Speaker
But I've never seen a lizard. I mean, I know the story. I get it. There's a witch, some water, some shoes, a road. Oh my God. And I do remember you screwed up Jane Crawford. That's right. Jane Crawford. That's right. That's right. God, I love that you like remember this. This is good. I like that because I don't remember it because I'm flawless and I don't like to remember my flaws. Exactly. You don't make a lot of mistakes. So I remember your mistakes. I could kiss you right now.
00:24:49
Speaker
But I won't, because we got a paper break. We will be right back. You were like the aunt at the pool party, like, is this what you guys want?
Quaaludes & Paul Simon Anecdote
00:25:09
Speaker
Do you guys want shoulders? We just wanted a flight. Do you guys like to party? I'm wearing like those flip flops that are platformed.
00:25:20
Speaker
I look like the letter P when I walk around in my sarong. You guys don't party like 1975. No, but I i took a quaalude with Paul Simon one time. A quaalude with Paul Simon. I was on uppers and downers and candy corn. And then he serenaded me with that one song called Sound the Silence. He came up with that because I was talking really loud.
00:25:45
Speaker
on account of the Quaid Lunes. The Quaid Lunes.
November Foods & Preferences
00:25:50
Speaker
Wow. Okay, well, we're back. Yeah, we are. We are back and we are about to play our favorite game. No fucking way. What game is that, Anya? Let me i catch mean catch my breath. Think about it. What game is it? What is it? Yes or no?
00:26:12
Speaker
They might need be the key to the naming of this game. remember It's really just outstanding. Yeah. said All right. Yes or no? Let's go. Yes or no? Yeah. It is the November season. So my question is, chili stew? Chili stew. Chili slash stew? You know what? That's a yes. i'm into I'm into a thick soup. Okay. I like it when it's raining outside, when it's a little foggy in the morning.
00:26:41
Speaker
A nice hot bowl of chili, a nice hot bowl of stew. I'm into it. I like a barley. That's fun. Yeah. A mushroom barley, a wild rice mushroom barley. Wow. Okay. I'll thank you some, baby. What is that derivative of from of? What's that derivative of? Yeah. Like where does barley, is that like an Irish thing? Barley? Barley stew? Is that, is that Irish? It's probably, yeah. It's probably like European. Okay. Last like times.
00:27:10
Speaker
um i am more of a ah fan of like the chili that you would again i guess because my dad was a hunter like having like a venison stew whoa like being like i like like cowboy uh chilies you know did he like dismember and like the girls I used to come home to a massive deer hanging from its legs in the garage just bleeding out, just bleeding out. And then he would be like, come take a picture next to it. Like they would take i have pictures of me as a child standing next to this hanging deer. Did he make like pelts out of it?
00:27:53
Speaker
That? I love, I love, I win the like cutaway, yes. I'm like, first of all, that's a snake. Don't lie to me, I'm a city girl, but I'm not stupid. He hunted snakes too. Alright, I've got a written in yes or no from a
Soap Preferences & CVS Critique
00:28:15
Speaker
friend. One of our long time listeners, long time friends, Danielle has written this in,
00:28:20
Speaker
Her inquiry is bar soap versus liquid soap, or like foam, honestly, even.
00:28:29
Speaker
Oh, tea. I love, I love foamy soaps. I don't really use them that often, but they're probably my favorite. Right now I'm using liquid, all liquid soaps, yeah. What brand? um For my shampoo, I'm using Dove. And for my body, some TJ Maxx eucalyptus gel.
00:28:50
Speaker
Max and Easter, baby. do you Okay, so what do you feel? um i The foamy soap, it's like I feel like that's just a scam, because I'm like, is that mostly air? but How do they get it to be so foamy when it comes out? Yeah, air. Well, then I'm not paying for that, you know what I mean? And then liquid. I like me a liquid. um I use a Vino lavender ah What is a family size bottle? Because when I went to CVS to get new stuff soaked, it was behind a locked glass case. And I'm not gonna wait 45 fucking minutes for someone to come over and unlock that thing. What am I, a peasant? So instead I just got the thing that was out that was so much more expensive and was literally the size of a small cat. And that's what I have in my shower. I do hate that we're living in an age where like half the shit in cbs is locked up yeah i'm like this is supposed to be convenient, and it's very uncomfortable. The majority of women's products, by the way. Yeah, yeah. Well, because people are stealing and like need it. And you know I think there's there's other issues that have caused us to get to this point. Yeah, it's because they're expensive. yeah They're more expensive. So it's like, if you lowered the price on these products, people wouldn't be stealing them like that. They wouldn't have as much work. Fuckers. Yeah. so Speaking that.
00:30:18
Speaker
Vote if you want your razors to be less expensive. Vote if you want to make sure that you can get into CVS and grab things you need without calling for an attendant that won't be there because the ding the self-checkout is broken so they need somebody else over there. It just doesn't work. It doesn't work. Our whole system's broken. yeah Damn CVS. The only good thing is the receipts. The long ones that you could use as scroll paper. Yes, I use it to weave blankets. Beautiful. Keep you warm in the hot winters of Los Angeles.
00:30:51
Speaker
um Speaking of soaps and and you know potentially luxury soaps, how do you feel about the like weird gels that you can get at um at Lush, like the the little containers of like a jelly. I always want to get into those, but like, I don't know how to use them in the shower. And like, they just kind of fall apart and get gross. It's like I'm playing with Jell-O. Because it's trash.com. Okay, well. Look, if I wanted to rub a strawberry on my goddamn elbow, I'll do that. I don't need to get a little squished version of it from a little box, you know? I feel like that's overpriced bullshit.
00:31:31
Speaker
And I said it. yeah But Lush, if you would like to sponsor us and send us some food products, feel free. of Maybe I'll change my mind and I'll take this all back because I'm a shill for a corporation. Yeah. Maybe we just need to be taught how to use your Jello jelly. Oh, I want to try be I want to be taught. Help me in the shower. Wash me. This is why I have to go to Turkey. This is why we got to go. Okay. Targeted ads slash a curated feed.
00:32:01
Speaker
That's a no, because I feel like they don't actually know me. They pretend like they know me. I'm getting diaper commercials in Spanish. Tell me what about me, Dasha Fevanova, 32 years old, thank you very much, looking young as hell with these bongs, is giving diapers in Spanish. Explain. Also, I'm getting prep ads. I'm getting prep ads. I'm getting a Sky Rizzy ads. I'm getting all this medication.
00:32:30
Speaker
what Why am I the target? Explain to me. I don't like it. I mean, I don't know what you're looking up on Google, but I'm sure. Well, i'm I constantly am looking at videos of women getting rid of scalp psoriasis. Yeah. So maybe that's what it is. But I don't like it. I don't want to be served there when I'm like trying to watch my soaps.
Targeted Ads Debate
00:32:48
Speaker
They're like, is this a gay man or a middle-aged woman? And honestly, same thing at the point.
00:32:56
Speaker
listen but about you do you like your curated Yeah, I know a lot of people are upset about like the surveillance and the the passing of data Which yes, I don't love my data being everywhere But I do like that, you know the things that come up the ads I get for the most part yes, I do get ads in other languages or of things that I don't need but I but times where i do get like that specifically targeted ad for that so i shirt or something that
00:33:27
Speaker
i would specifically want What's funny is like the generation right before us that sees those ads and they think it's just such a quirky happenstance but they're getting an ad for I'm the best mother in Texas shirt. And it's like, oh my God, I need to get this shirt for all of myself and my fellow mothers of Texas. absolutely And it's like the cheesiest shirt, but it's like, oh yeah, well, cause you're a mom in Texas who was very proud about it. So yeah, you got the the targeted ad. ah but Listen, I will say I did get the same ad for this like bed frame.
00:34:13
Speaker
that's made out of like bamboo or some shit and it has no nuts and bolts in it. It's basically like Japanese woodworking or whatever the fuck that causes it to be whatever the fuck. Did I buy that bet? That is way more expensive than my rent that I was paying off for. Oh, I don't know, six, seven months? Absolutely. That's right. Absolutely.
00:34:31
Speaker
And maybe I was a little burned by that. And now i'm when they give me a commercial for sweatshirts or glasses or butt implants or weight loss medication or you know how to not be lonely eating cake in the middle of the night, I get a little butt hurt. I'm human. I'm a human being. And we all love cake in the middle of the night. OK, well, speaking of ah TikTok shop,
TikTok Shopping Experiences
00:34:58
Speaker
yes or no? Oh, my god. OK, so first of all,
00:35:02
Speaker
because of my line of work. um I had to work in the TikTok sphere quite a bit. I haven't gotten anything on it yet. I do want to. When they started dropping those like, gazelle sweatshirts, I was like, ooh, i I might get one of those. It's just, it's too questionable of ah of a space. I started realizing that some of the brands on there aren't real brands. They're literal brands that have been like fake created by TikTok to sell product from china
00:35:33
Speaker
and china This is good, this is good. That's what I was going to call it. Yeah, you're going to. It's good, especially this sounds really great. But yeah, so I don't know. Good, good for the people who are getting their hair curler hat off on the TikTok shop today. Listen, I did buy an LED face mask. One of those, like one of those make me younger things that make me like a cannibal lector. I did buy that. I did. And I did buy a hat that says,
00:36:08
Speaker
back, uh, good girls go to heaven, bad girls go to Chili's. Oh my God. Because me and my friends go to Chili's and I think it'd be really fun. So I've got three and I'm going to give it some work and I'll, I'll wear them and go to Chili's. But I do think that like some of them are nuts. Like when I'm watching a creator do those like dragon egg opening videos and then she's like, these are available in my TikTok trial. It has like a menu and it's like, and I know kids are watching this and like kids are buying this, you know? So it's like,
00:36:36
Speaker
I don't like anything that like a child gets marketed to, that like they have the ability to buy online because- That's how they're making the best money. I know. I'm like, don't we do enough to these poor fucking children running their brains with fucking three second videos of dogs shitting? We do. I mean, they, back in the day, they used to think that books were going to ruin the kids brains and- Who? Look at where we're going. Who said that? Just the generations of life. Generally? The generations?
00:37:06
Speaker
Remember when Sophocles, I think it was, that said, south sophocles the ah um, the philosopher Sophocles? I know of one philosopher, Plato. No. Damn girl. Brittany Jean Spears, who said, she's so lucky. She's a star. But she cries, cries, cries eating a piece of cake in the middle of the night. Correct.
00:37:36
Speaker
And that's why I know she understands and is a genius. Lower to the savior. Lower to the savior, which is Christ, Billie Jean Spears. Billie Jean Spears. She speaks. BJS. That's right. I don't think her name is Billie Jean. What is her name? Britney. Yeah. Britney Jean and is Britney Jean Britney Jean Spears. That's her name is Britney speaking ah bill Spears. Spears. Billie Spears. Okay. Do you have one more for for me or is it my turn? It's your turn. Okay. Okay. The last one for you.
Real vs. Fake Fireplaces
00:38:06
Speaker
Fireplaces.
00:38:10
Speaker
Fireplaces, okay. Fireplaces. I'm sorry, it wasn't that real. No, no, no, it was great. It's great. No, I love it because I'm just, I'm trying to think of like. What and what kind of opinion you have? Yeah, like what do I, cause I really haven't like thought of like my like real, you know what I mean? Cause like I'm nervous about sharing my true opinion of it. And this is why I'm afraid of it. Here's why. If you have one that's fake, that's like closed off,
00:38:36
Speaker
but you have one for aesthetic reasons, that to me is troublesome, because can I trust this person? What else are you lying to me about? Do they know what this is for? Absolutely, and like, let's say I'm at your house, I'm your being and being, or I'm staying, and I kicked you out, I don't know, it's just me in your house, and I go, I'm gonna start a nice cozy fire, and say, I don't know, it's fake. I said, I'm fine, bring the whole fucking thing down. No, I'm responsible, I'm in jail, it's been 35 years, I come out, they have flying cars now, I don't know how to use that,
00:39:06
Speaker
So it's just, to me, it's kind of like, you know, it let's stop lying. Why are we all lying all the time? Lies. Real fireplaces, or busts? Only. Yeah. Thank you. Also, like, Santa's not gonna come out through a hole in a grate, you know? He needs a flu. A chimney. Tea. Thank you. Tea. I definitely would always worry for the people who had fireplaces that, like, weren't fully connected to the... Santa Network.
00:39:36
Speaker
to the Santa network because I was like, nothing nothing's gonna work here. you You guys aren't getting toys for sure. What the hell's happening? sound out The back door, he's coming through the back door. Fucking liars. I'm glad we agreed on that. But see, isn't this controversial? Like, I feel like, why don't you share this? People get very upset because a lot of people I think, do you have a front door? Not in this apartment. At the old apartment, we had a fireplace. yeah It was like a gas one, which is kind of cute. It's funny that LA has tons of fireplaces out here. yeah And they're all like pretty much like an electrical gas situation of this sort. This fucking city. One giant lie. I mean, it's true. You look at the B-roll of LA and you're like, oh, Los Angeles, the home of the stars. And then you get here and you're like, what's that smell?
00:40:23
Speaker
It's also like, those are not stars. Those are LED lights being poked through a hole. That's what that is. And you've been a roofie at the tequila. At the tequila. You've been roofied and pickpocketed at Mickey's. And yeah, now you're seeing stars. This wig is kind of small. This wig is... This is you after that occasion. You know what? This is called, we're not lying to you anymore. I don't have a mullet. That's purple with bangs. I have what I have. And what I have right now is three hairs up in a little if I could cut the cameras right now. Dead ass. Dead ass. Cut the cameras. Dead ass. Dead ass. That's like, oh, nevermind, I'm not gonna say it. you Say it. Too soon. Did he?
00:41:09
Speaker
No. No? I was gonna say Liam, but, uh. Neeson? nieson Got it. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
00:41:21
Speaker
I only learned because of you, I only learned because of you. yeah Yeah, so I wanted to make sure. Oh my god, those are my informative years. I never was on on the One Direction train myself, but I knew a lot of their songs and I have seen a lot of their styles and it's really sad and unfortunate. I used to just fap to the music videos. Because you probably watched those like compilations when they were like when they would like hug each other or like do something on stage. And they're like, they love, you know. The amount of times they would try to like ship the hell out of those boys. I know. I was there for it. I was there. Cause they did that with like my chemical romance too when they were. Same. Okay. Well it's your last one. My last one is then mowing people for small amounts of money or like what money with like scent amounts. Okay. Scent amounts now, but small amounts fine.
00:42:17
Speaker
Like $3? Yeah, whatever. It's a transaction. yeah like i is it Is there a service fee? Am I actually getting charged $10 for a $3 cent? Because yeah, if I like send you $3 and you try to transfer that into your account, you're only going to get like a dollar. not if you're That's if you're doing it like the quick way. But I feel like if it's the one to three business days, you don't you do that you don't pay for it. yeah I always do instant. I'm like, I'm not fucking waiting three days.
00:42:47
Speaker
I want the money now. I want my money now. You need to get one of those apps. Which app? The cash app where you can get like $500 of your paycheck before your paycheck comes in. That kind of thing. I think it's Chirp or something. Chime. It's Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime.
Mistaken Identity & Personal Presentation
00:43:10
Speaker
Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime. Chime.
00:43:13
Speaker
Well, if you never get credit cards, you can never get into credit card debt, Chime which is how I don't have credit, but I don't have any credit card debt as of right now. I won't, though. Because I'm about to buy a pepper truck. Because I'm coming out as an Elon Musk apologist. I love rockets. I love space. I love space. I love it. I thought you were going to say you were coming out as a lesbian, which... I've been getting that a lot.
00:43:42
Speaker
I got that last night. I got that at the burden. Somebody was like helping me with something. And out of nowhere, just went, well, my sister lives in Vegas and she's also a lesbian. And I went, also, I want to also. And I kept going, also, who? And I kept going, also, also. And I went, he means me.
00:44:03
Speaker
because I'm the only one in this conversation. But I'm like, I'm not going to correct him because there's nothing to correct. You know what I mean? It's like, no, I don't mind it. But I'm also like, oh, that he thinks I'm not like, because I haven't been hitting on him at all. I must be. I must be a lesbian. Yeah. Listen, yeah and if the if the Air Force One fits, you know? Exactly. I mean, look at this outfit right now. It's giving. I don't want a man to touch me is what this outfit is giving. This outfit gives munch munch. Oh and I'm crunch crunch. fucking clear absolutely And on that note, baby wow we've had such a beautiful time. We really ups and downs really.
Friendship & Identity Humor
00:44:46
Speaker
Ups and downs. Y'all make sure you go vote. Absolutely. Make sure you um stock ammo, ah get your gun license.
00:44:55
Speaker
Yeah. If the, if democracy still exists, you know, four days from when you're listening to this, by the way, this is November 1st. If, uh, congratulations. Um, if it isn't, I will be in Canada and I'll see you there. Yeah. Yeah. Go find some land to frack. Yeah. Uh, go find somewhere to hide. Uh, hide your kids. so That that ah tornado storm shelter yeah is going to come in handy. Those bunkers, thank God.
00:45:21
Speaker
And I just want to review one more time. You look amazing. You always put her in such a great effort. You look wonderful. And I'm so glad we did this. I love you so much. You're my favorite part of the month. And seeing you, you're amazing. And hearing your lovely voice. I do. I love you so much. I do. and I do look forward to this moment every month. It gives me a purpose. It gives me life. Oh, I'm just a really hot lesbian looking for her next meal. And definitely on that note,
00:45:51
Speaker
Good night.