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War of the Worlds
31 Plays3 months ago
We at ReShoot: An Amateur's Guide to Gooder Film believe that all movies have something to make them worth more than a 0% rating. This movie toes that very line. Thank you for joining us at our 100th episode!
We do not, nor do we claim to, own the rights to this film in any way, shape, or form.
TW: death, bugs, surveillance, disasters
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Transcript
Introduction and Podcast Format
00:00:00
Speaker
Who goes first? You go first. You go first. Okay. um I have discovered that there are... This is not the only War of the Worlds movie. It's just the latest of really bad War of the Worlds movies.
00:00:14
Speaker
War of the Worlds? More like Boar of the Worlds. oh
00:00:20
Speaker
o Okay, you know, they're not all a bad, okay? Welcome to Reshoot, amateurs in no suits, too many movies to explore.
00:00:33
Speaker
Ruthie, Hector, and Ed left her till the end, let's see something we've done before.
00:00:42
Speaker
Hello everyone, welcome to Reshoot, an amateur's guide to good or film. We take movies that you we like, dislike, some somewhere in between, make them objectively better. Objectively.
Hosts Introductions and Humor
00:00:54
Speaker
We are your hosts.
00:00:58
Speaker
Hello, I'm your host, a drone carrying a USB. Ruthie.
00:01:09
Speaker
I am son's random hacking subplot that was not hinted at at all. No, i I predicted it a mile away. it was Yeah, there was one line before. Yeah. I'm Hector.
00:01:20
Speaker
Well, it's just really trite that there's going to be a hacker and the hacker is going to be a part of the government agent's family. Yeah. That's trite. Yeah. Sorry. I am a germ.
00:01:32
Speaker
A microbe. I was missing from this movie.
Critique of War of the Worlds Adaptation
00:01:38
Speaker
They almost had it, but they didn't. This is the most self-confident I've ever heard of. They instead used computer virus as the, like, micro, like, shit that, like, originally in the War of the Worlds book takes down the aliens.
00:01:56
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Which is so, there weren't even they weren't even aliens, is the thing. Like, they were drones, all of it. They weren't even aliens. Germ.
00:02:10
Speaker
germ Germ, what's your name? Ed, I said otherwise known as Ed. already said that. Honestly, the eight the aliens in this movie, they were like... It's getting into my fix.
00:02:26
Speaker
But they were more of like a grey goo kind of thing. Well, but they they did say in the movie it's half biological, half digital.
Exploration of Grey Goo Concept
00:02:35
Speaker
Yeah, that's stupid. It's really stupid. I am saying, though, that the movie did attempt. They're just alien cyborgs. yeah Just say that.
00:02:44
Speaker
It should have just been Grey Goo.
00:02:49
Speaker
Do you want to explain to the audience the Grey Goo thing? Okay, it is a doomsday scenario that existential crisis could be going on in our galaxy right now.
00:03:01
Speaker
ah Basically, an alien race that gets so ah that develops nanite technology to a degree where it's self-replicating, right? So what they do is You know, they they send these nanites off on a rocket to a planet.
00:03:20
Speaker
It crash lands. All the nanites go around. They self-replicate themselves and strip the planet clean of its resources. So kind of like Annihilation, but not.
00:03:33
Speaker
Yeah, and then, and so they self-replicate themselves, they also build rockets to carry these resources back to the home planet, and then they build their own rockets. Oh, so it's your D&D campaign. To get in that.
00:03:46
Speaker
To a degree, yeah. and Yeah, so all the nanites strip a planet, resources, send them back, then they build their own rockets and go to the next planet. This is a literal zombie storyline in, like, the Sonic comics. Yeah.
00:04:00
Speaker
Wait, not the ones that are... The good ones. The ones the new ones. The new ones. It's... big man But are the animals? <unk> No, Eggman makes ah like a metal virus that infects people and then animals and it keeps spreading them and spreading them and turns them into robots.
00:04:15
Speaker
But I got... sp i'm I'm reading it on Webtoon as it updates, but currently I know the ending. It replicates to a point where even like everyone's getting infected and it's out of control. it sounds like something mcman It was something he just was like, oh, the alpha worked. I'm going to send it straight out without thinking any further of it, which Eggman move. That's an Eggman move.
00:04:35
Speaker
Yeah, it should have just been Grey Goo. And you know what's the crazy thing about Grey Goo?
00:04:42
Speaker
You can't beat it.
00:04:47
Speaker
You can't EMP it.
00:04:52
Speaker
Because they're nanites.
00:04:55
Speaker
We'll if you make a really tiny EMP. Checkmate, Atheist. No, because they run on such little electricity that it doesn't like doesn't really affect them.
00:05:07
Speaker
That'd be cool. Not cool, but like that'd be interesting thing to see. Yeah, if the if a rocket crashed here with nanites, we have we have natural resources...
00:05:20
Speaker
Our bodies do. We have the meats. We have the meats. now Now we're going to get copyrighted and struck by f freaking Arby's. Or we get sponsored by Arby's and I prefer that. I don't want to. I mean, yeah, Arby's. Then your wife gets Arby's. mean, I'm done with this.
00:05:38
Speaker
Hey, at least I've gone to Arby's summits with, you know, the the other boys. Take me with you! Arby's summits. Yeah. Trying to hit every Arby's in all 50 states or at least however many states has Arby's.
Reflection on the 100th Episode
00:05:55
Speaker
o so but yeah so i guess do we start so we're starting with the movie first okay no okay so who you want to first they are am i i thought this was just like the random 100 we all decided on what i didn't choose this movie okay i have sworn you chose okay i chose it for the 100th yeah so Is it really an anniversary reshoot episode if I didn't tell someone they chose the anniversary pick? No, you're right. It is. so okay No? Yeah. We always forget. And then you're like, no, it was this person. like It's like, no, you chose it. And then sometimes I said, no, I chose this movie. Ruthie's always like, this person chose it.
00:06:39
Speaker
Yeah, she's the lockdown member. Ed picked Joker. Uh, I think you picked Morbius. now you got Now you're getting War of the Worlds.
00:06:49
Speaker
Okay. God, I always pick the worst ones. So... Wait, I picked Joker? Yeah. For... For our first episode.
00:07:04
Speaker
Everyone, he was working night shift back then, he probably doesn't remember. I thought our first one was John Wick. No, that was our second. That was number two. Uh, But I picked John Wick.
00:07:15
Speaker
No, you picked Joker. You picked Joker. Ruthie picked John Wick. Oh. I picked whatever was third, which wasn't worth remembering. I think it was Project Power. oh Project Power was fun. Yeah. project I wish we could do more Project Powers. I wish they made more. It would have been a fun series. Anyway.
00:07:31
Speaker
ah Ed, and you said you wanted to go first. so what did What did you think of the movie? didn't think I You already started. Just finish. I kind of already did. what great good this What did
Further Criticism of War of the Worlds Movie
00:07:44
Speaker
I think about the movie? The movie was fucking ass.
00:07:47
Speaker
like it Was it fun to watch? One of the most steaming hot piles of garbage I've ever seen in my life. I did not enjoy a single second of all like the however long this movie was, which was way too long, first of all.
00:08:00
Speaker
It's only 90 minutes. It's way too long. Yeah, I know. It was that dog movie that just came out, I think Good Boy. yeah And that movie's like 70 minutes long. It's only 70?
00:08:13
Speaker
ah About that, yeah. Well, 70 minutes in dog yeah seventy minutes. Yeah, 70 minutes in dog POV also. Yeah, it's almost, and I think a the movie Don't Breathe, the first one was also 70 minutes, about.
00:08:28
Speaker
That tracks. There was that movie Look Back, which was 40 minutes. do a lot You can't really can't do a lot with that premise, but it did really well with the 70 minutes. And it didn't feel long.
00:08:42
Speaker
This movie was hot garbage. So bad. was um I will cut them some slack, though. Because this was filmed during the height of COVID, like, summer 2020.
00:08:57
Speaker
they I think Ice Cube was on record saying he had no director telling him how to act. He just had to record it all himself and send it, which is... Correct. That is what happened. At the same time, though, he's been in so many movies, you'd think... You'd think.
00:09:13
Speaker
You'd think he'd, like... no But then script, too. But wait, but wait. and But then you look at Nicolas Cage.
00:09:24
Speaker
And when he has a good director... He excels. And when he doesn't, he does not. Right? Although, you know, in all seriousness, one true god, Nicolas Cage. Always excels.
00:09:42
Speaker
Always excels. Sometimes he tells more than others, but he always excels. In the normie people mind that don't accept Nicolas Cage is the one true god, like, yeah, when he has a good director, he excels. And when he doesn't, he does not.
00:09:56
Speaker
He performs, overacts a bit too much, you know? um So maybe Ice Cube just needs a good director to perform better. Why didn't the director just like zoom him?
00:10:09
Speaker
And then mute himself? rule Bro, bro, bro, bro. I don't know. It could have been a fucking teams meeting like they did in the fucking movie also.
00:10:21
Speaker
just The recording's right there. could have just been sitting there in the team's meeting on a second monitor, you know, muted himself and been like cut and, you know, been a director.
00:10:39
Speaker
And give him some guidance. But no. ah I will say. the The style. i don't know if. For people who have not seen this movie. The style of this movie is.
00:10:52
Speaker
Watching basically what's going on. In a computer screen. Searching. search The movie Searching. Which if you've seen Searching. It pioneered that kind of technique. Searching did it well though. Is the thing. Well Searching was the first one to do it.
00:11:09
Speaker
and it It hasn't been beat in my opinion. It hasn't been beat. No, because I think i think the v eight one of the VHS movies is like that.
00:11:19
Speaker
think... VHS? I... Oh, the horror film? you Unfriended? ory Oh, yeah, it's Unfriended.
00:11:31
Speaker
Unfriended is, that I think, also just like what's going on. yeah but i heard that i haven't seen it, but I've seen clips and it didn't look as good. I've heard other people say wasn't as good. No, no, it it's it's regarded as bad use of that kind of style.
00:11:48
Speaker
Searching as well, this movie did it Horribly. Because this style lends itself to one person.
00:12:01
Speaker
One main character. that's what it That's what it's there for. think he has something she wants to say. It's more of like a diary format kind of thing. and it's It's more of like a diary kind of format kind of thing. You know, I found the director of Searching's email once and I should have asked him. I had the opportunity to ask him if he wanted to come on the pod.
00:12:23
Speaker
That's my biggest regret. I never shot my shot. You can still shoot your shot. Yeah, but that so we can't do that if he says this movie, if we can't fucking do it again. might say unfriended.
00:12:35
Speaker
I don't know if he wants to shit on us. I mean... he kind It could be. I don't think he'll pull Chris Stuckman. But, like, he... he what What I think he'll do is he'll he'll do reshoot.
00:12:47
Speaker
He won't... Or what if he'll say, no, we're gonna do searching. You motherfuckers are gonna fix my movie, and I'm gonna tell you why it ended up the way it did. That'd be really fun. That'd fun, actually. That'd be really fun. Dude, I should... We should hit up Chris Stuckman after Shelby Oaks comes out.
00:13:03
Speaker
And I'll be like, hey, I backed your movie. Do you want to come on our podcast for, like, an hour? I'm worried that if he hears what we do, he'll back because he's been nicer about reviews.
00:13:15
Speaker
But one, we do not review. We do not review. No, I know. we reviews He reviews. I know, but like it it'd be cool. I think I could word it in a way. It's like, hey, we reshoot movies and like like we we we talk about what we like, dislike, and then we do what we would do differently.
00:13:34
Speaker
And I think with him now having a feature-length film under his belt, he can like you know give a movie that he likes the or a movie that he thought could be better, and then he gives us his opinions on that, and we give...
00:13:47
Speaker
Or Shelby Oaks if he's braving. Yeah, because most of the time... i don't i'm not reshooting Shelby Oaks. i have I have invested monetary value into that movie. It's a perfect Insider trading! Insider trading. But yeah, it's an death to the movie back to the movie.
00:14:07
Speaker
Back to the style. It lends itself to one character. This was not that. no right I like the idea of it not strike it being more people, but I don't think it works. And the thing is like they couldve they could have taken this also, you know, how the radio play does it.
00:14:27
Speaker
Yeah. They could have just done a radio play with a visual element. They could have, and they could have done it in a way that makes a lot of sense.
Impact of the 1938 Radio Drama
00:14:37
Speaker
Just like with the radio play, where like...
00:14:42
Speaker
Sorry, I'm stepping on you. But no, you can step on this. I'm still going to go with my Grey Goo shit, probably. So, the radio drama included several characters, and to give context for what happened in this radio drama, this was in 1938, and also background information. In 19... It was 38 32.
00:15:03
Speaker
I think it 38. Whatever year
00:15:06
Speaker
thirty eight whatever you wants you on that Okay, yeah. um See if I'm gaslighting people. In this period of time, people didn't actually... People did believe in aliens on Mars. 38.
00:15:23
Speaker
Let's fucking go Okay. People believed in aliens on Mars. It wasn't like... proven yet but they were like yeah there's probably aliens on mars they probably have these like it was kind of like a thing so the radio program started at about half three quarters of the way through of another like uh famous concert going on everybody was tuned into that And then 20 minutes later, the program ends and they switch over to this War of the Worlds. And it sounds like a new a radio news broadcast. At the very beginning, they Orson Welles introduces the program saying this is a modern retelling of the 1890s novel by H.G. Wells, War the Worlds.
00:16:08
Speaker
If you didn't hear that, you just heard ah at that point in time in the audio drama, a bunch of scientists, or like a town gathering around an asteroid and then a tripod coming out and snuffing out on air all of these people. Like the way that he cut it out makes it sound like the the radio broadcast like shut off because it exploded.
00:16:35
Speaker
So you can set up a fix of this movie where the TSA guy, or no, NSA guy, he's like going through all the information and then like in the radio broadcast, it's just him by himself.
00:16:48
Speaker
Oh, that would work. Because in the movie, in the way that they have it shot, or the the way that the story goes, the tripods, the the Martians, they're going after data. What happens when you don't have data?
00:17:03
Speaker
No internet. So they wouldn't be able to teams each other. They wouldn't be able to hack drones. They wouldn't be able to Amazon shit. The premise defeats the plot and the mechanism of the story.
00:17:23
Speaker
No, it was messy. Also, why did he have to pay money to deliver the USB? Like, you could have just done it Also, the deep irony of Amazon...
Movie's Flawed Premise and Irony
00:17:35
Speaker
Saving world. Dragging the finger about data security? Amazon. Yeah. At least it wasn't Google.
00:17:45
Speaker
Oh, Google doesn't even try that anymore. The times of them doing the movie The Intern are long gone. Chrome is literally spyware. Um... You can cut that out.
00:17:57
Speaker
Nah, we'll keep it. Um... Yeah. Um...
00:18:06
Speaker
Yeah, I'll cut those off side with the COVID shit, but like, if you're gonna do COVID shit, you know, you could have done what other people did, which is like a quarantine set.
00:18:18
Speaker
We're just locked in the set for like two months, three months. and I genuinely think this could have worked, but I think it would have worked.
00:18:29
Speaker
I can tell it was like everyone just, there's no actual people talking on teams. No. And think if they'd done that, it would have worked a lot better. Yeah, nobody would ever talked to each other.
00:18:41
Speaker
That would have worked a lot better if they just talked to each other. Yeah, ah I will give two fixes because you... ah I don't know, because i I like... I don't want to steal your thunder, Ruthie, though.
00:18:56
Speaker
No, but I did it during more
00:19:00
Speaker
um No, i I... Hector said that I had something to say. I figured out my fix. It's way dumber. If you want to take my initial idea and run with it, please feel free. I just... i I had thought of the Grey Goo more recently, but I do... i like When you started talking about the radio play, it like activated a neuron that reactivated the original idea.
00:19:25
Speaker
Which was more on the radio play aspect of it. But... Basically, what what i would do is, yeah I would, like, just not War of the Worlds movie, just a completely different movie.
00:19:41
Speaker
but Filmed normally. Right? No computer screen bullshit.
00:19:50
Speaker
And it's it'll be called, i don't know, the Grey Goo. The Grey Goo or the Grey Tempest. Like Stellaris. A video game that also has it.
00:20:02
Speaker
Stellaris is a very well-known game. Yeah. And the Grey Tempest is basically the Grey Goo.
00:20:10
Speaker
ah But yeah, like, i i would say that I would, ah like, to give them a little bit of warning and try to, like, have this story go is that they notice this Gregoo kind of, like, eating up Mars.
00:20:30
Speaker
Let's say, at first. Scientist NASA notices that Mars is getting pretty small. Yeah.
00:20:40
Speaker
And they can see like the the stuff the like ocean of nanites is like swarming all of Mars. And like getting bigger and all that, right?
00:20:51
Speaker
And they're able to discover what it is. I don't know. i don't know This is bullshit. It's just like, Grigio comes to Earth. They try they try different things. And then either one The germs kill the nanites, like in original World of Worlds.
00:21:09
Speaker
Or two, everyone dies. but Which I know which one you prefer. ah i don't know. I think I would do the germ stuff. i' I've become a lot less cynical about like how stories end. I don't want them all to be bad. And I don't want them all to be clear obscure.
00:21:30
Speaker
Sometimes i liked it i want I want the stories to end in a nice little bow. ah But not whimsically. Certainly not. No whimsy. No whimsy.
00:21:41
Speaker
Just nice little tight little bow. Story threads done. You're going to hate my new friends. It's all good. not night on everything has be gri but Not everything has to be And not everything has to be
00:21:57
Speaker
Massive gun. Bingus, are you drinking something? he's in this He's right next to the sink. Bingus, get down. all Sorry, sorry. Give us a second. Everyone- no, no, it's fine.
00:22:09
Speaker
I had him muted. Okay, sorry. it's so just but Everyone- I might keep this in. Everyone, Bingus is our new cat. And he's a demon.
00:22:20
Speaker
He's a lovely... He's a rambunctious fellow. Very rambunctious. Very ah rebellious and... He's very rebellious.
00:22:35
Speaker
Very free-spirited. We all love him. He's very cute. Every vet... All the vets at the... ah He's a fan club at our vet. Yeah, he has a whole lot of fan club.
00:22:47
Speaker
Now the other way of fixing this that activated my old neuron was to do it like the radio play kind
Creative Adaptation Ideas for War of the Worlds
00:22:55
Speaker
of thing. But, you know, mostly because I don't, I've never listened to the radio play and I don't even know until you just said what it's like.
00:23:05
Speaker
Really, I never even knew what it was like. There's a copy they had a copy. There's a copy on YouTube. that's i I've been able to listen to it. i thought they or They said that they got rid of most copies, but so one survived and is now on YouTube forever.
00:23:20
Speaker
Forever. Until YouTube copyright strikes it. Probably on Wikipedia too. Yeah, at this point, I think it is yeah free use. Anyways. 100% free use. Anyways.
00:23:34
Speaker
But you that never stopped YouTube before. Anyways, the other way you could do it is with the radio play, but like following what I would suggest would be a journalist.
00:23:46
Speaker
And somebody like Channel 5 is like so the kind of the kind of stuff that I would do. And that not not not not like the humor part of it, but you know, just like two guys, the journalist and the cameraman, and that's it And they just document the whole movie? Oh, more like the book of World War Z. No, i was thinking... Is how of World War Z was?
00:24:10
Speaker
World War Z, it's like a bunch of interviews with people. every It's like an anthology, but all in one book. where it's like the The one that sticks out in my mind is this person's like... ah It takes place like several years after the zombie apocalypse.
00:24:25
Speaker
ah And this guy's like, yeah, I'm in what used to be known as Canada. You know, things are like okay in the winter. It's just in the spring when the zombies melt, it gets kind of weird.
00:24:37
Speaker
But you know, you just gotta hit carry a BB gun with you. What about Cloverfield? So it's more like Cloverfield, Ed. No. Well, yeah, kind of like found footage, but like... Yeah, I found footage. They're seeing the thing happen unfolding.
00:24:53
Speaker
Yeah, they're seeing there, but also, yeah, interviewing people and doing the interview style of Channel 5, where it's just, you know, them holding the mic and the person just rambling on, right, about yeah their experiences with that stuff.
00:25:09
Speaker
maybe Yeah, so you're very similar to the book of World War z yeah and then and then like through like it can start with them like you know outside area 51 like they did the area 51 raid that one time but i think that was in the all gas no brakes which actually i forgot the channel 5 bought all gas no brakes it's another two things and uh
00:25:36
Speaker
Get off that topic. ah Yeah. or Like, it can start with them at Area 51 with all the people Naruto running and all that stuff, you know? Naruto running towards the aliens? That'd be fucking hilarious. Yeah, towards towards the the facility, and then just, like, you know, Tripod just, like, wakes up and, like, comes out of Area 51.
00:25:59
Speaker
And then they they, like, you know, oh my god shit's going on, they're like, like try to follow the tripod they see other tripods they meet other survivors and they like talk to them and all that and then you know how the movie ended which i think is how the book ended where the like it's just a whole bunch of stuff going on a whole bunch of interviews interesting people a little bit of action and then dodging and getting out of the way of the tripods some military action that they document right
00:26:32
Speaker
And then at the end, like the tripod just starts shutting down and falling over. and then we can end it with like them getting a like a pretty good, like sit down interview with like some military military general scientists and all that, or just like them documenting the the whole like press release thing of like how, what happened, where they come from and like what, what caused the tripod to shut down, which would be bacteria.
00:26:59
Speaker
Yes, Ruthie. is the Is the ending of your movie going to be like the radio broadcast where at the end Orson Welles cuts in slightly alarmed and says hello ladies and gentlemen thank you for this very fictional totally not real reading of War of the Worlds this is not real you're safe the world is not ending thank you have a good night but ah I don't want to do AI voice of Orson Welles just have a really good impersonator Or you just play the original recording.
00:27:35
Speaker
Or just play the original recording, yeah. Yeah, I could do that. If it's if if if if Channel 5 Andrew Callahan agrees to do this movie. Are you going to have him have like a whole character arc too?
00:27:49
Speaker
No, it's going to be... it's just not go There's not going to be a character arc. It's going to be a film about the event, which is Dunkirk. It's been done before.
00:27:59
Speaker
it's It's been done before where you don't really have characters or a character arc. ah And it is successful that way. It is good that way. Yeah, you just add a little tension to, you know, keep the audience a little bit engaged and so they don't fall asleep to the interviews. Although I want the interviews to be as crazy as they are in, like, Channel 5 and all the snow breaks. So you have the tripods, like, stomping around in the background?
00:28:23
Speaker
And you got people saying, show me your bottle! No, no, no! yeah you can have oh You can have a lot of people say some real crazy shit when the tripods are like on screen. Honestly, like that would be the best way to do it.
00:28:37
Speaker
Most of the interviews are just going to be people talking to them and just, like you know, ten them saying, and then the tripod walks up I'm like, show me your butthole and stuff like that. double it and that's just have the And maybe hire the QAnon shaman to be there also.
00:28:54
Speaker
No. i just like You hire a look ah a lookalike. A lookalike, yeah. ah The shaman. No, you hire the Portland Frog. He's our shaman. or Or the Unipiper.
00:29:07
Speaker
Or the Unipiper. Who did show up at a thing recently. Dude, it would be so funny. If just like a scene in the movie was like the Unipiper riding towards a tripod, just like playing it, and they're just like filming it, and the tripod kind of like looks down, stares at him for a little bit, and then just chooses to ignore him.
00:29:32
Speaker
Well, the Unipiper, doesn't he have... Flames. Sometimes the flames pop. Maybe they just recognize him in they're like, game respects game. We'll never know. No, just like, it's gonna look like the the the tripod, like, recognized, noticed it, and then just chose to not engage. That'd be good. Yeah.
00:29:55
Speaker
And then, yeah, I guess we could just, like, cut in Orson Welles' voice at the very end, after the whole, like, press release of, like, what happened. Germs saved the day. mac Or bacteriophages, maybe. Who knows?
00:30:09
Speaker
But there's actual aliens, they're not drones. Aliens. From Omicron Perseid 8.
00:30:19
Speaker
That's a little too specific. I want to ask, but I feel like it's going to me into a wormhole. I think it's a real planet.
00:30:29
Speaker
Although I'm not sure. Okay.
Criticism of Logic and Plot
00:30:32
Speaker
Yeah, no, that sounds familiar. Although if you're gaslighting me, it's working. It's from Futurama. Ah. Oh. So it really could be either or.
00:30:42
Speaker
It really could be a real planet, like, Odyssey. But yeah. all right That's what I would do. Uh, Ruthie, do you wanna? Yeah.
00:30:52
Speaker
Okay. Um... Yeah, I got- and for my like, I guess I really do have to give props to the team for deciding to go the way that they did with the film style. Just, you know, working with what they had, working with what was going on at the time. It was an interesting idea to put War of the Worlds in this kind of searching style on screen. The problem is and this is me going into my dislikes,
00:31:25
Speaker
it completely falls apart in any kind of like... Logic. Media literacy analysis. Mm-hmm. Because from a plot sense, if the Martians are after Data, then the movie could not have been made at all.
00:31:45
Speaker
Because the the everything from before they saved the day would have been taken by the Duters. The little nanobots. Yeah. um oh You're right.
00:32:01
Speaker
No, everything fell apart. As soon as they touched the first data center, everything would have fallen apart even faster. Yeah. yeah He was still using... link like he was still using linkedin He was still using Teams.
00:32:15
Speaker
using Facebook, he was Skyping, or not Skyping, whatever the fuck. Well, to be fair, they did delete Facebook eventually. Yeah, but... Which is a net positive for society. True.
00:32:29
Speaker
Anyways, um yeah, so on a plot point, it falls apart. The other thing is, if you're going based off the original book, and and also the radio,
00:32:44
Speaker
the The radio drama. The other problem is the problem is solved. The the conflict of this book is solved by ah ah for the Martians, a pandemic, which is kind of problematic with a what's going on at the time the movie was filmed. Yeah.
00:33:05
Speaker
Thematically, the movie is the the theme of War of the Worlds is like a fear of being conquered. By, um, it's like the fear of being colonized, because this came out in 1890, uh, yeah, 1890s England, which at that point in time, while it wasn't at the height of its power, it was like, they still owned Canada, they owned out Australia, they owned all these countries. Yeah, the fear of colonialism.
00:33:37
Speaker
Um... And so it's like, and then they choose to add data onto it. It just, it didn't sync one-to-one. Was that the smart thing I was supposed to say?
00:33:49
Speaker
probably. You and were talking earlier? i think so. I think that's most of it, but I might be forgetting. There was something else about like the AWS Amazon thing. but Oh yeah, the deep, deep irony that Amazon is preaching to us about how the NSA is spying on us.
00:34:04
Speaker
And also, you know, you know an Amazon video making Amazon save the day. Mm-hmm.
00:34:15
Speaker
ah You know.
00:34:18
Speaker
Yes. Too bad. um Anyways. Let me see. it Getting back to my point. Yeah. So the theme, the problem is. If you're trying to go back to the source material, it's kind of problematic with what's going on at the time of them filming the movie because the problem is solved by a big pandemic and global pandemic.
00:34:43
Speaker
A little distasteful.
00:34:46
Speaker
But, um, yeah, they also didn't include a lot of the major, like, a lot of the major plot points of War of the Worlds.
00:35:00
Speaker
Like, the when the NASA lady in LA, when she first encountered the tripod, If we're looking at the content, I'm doing the opposite of what I normally do.
00:35:11
Speaker
So normally I try and take the film and I just try and isolate it so I don't consider anything before it. But for this one, I feel like i have to because this was just... You're a big fan of the original. I'm a big fan of the radio drama. I haven't read the book.
00:35:25
Speaker
I have the Wikipedia open so I can reference it as needed. But at that point in the story... um Woking in the book and then like Surrey, whatever the town in New Jersey, those were obliterated. All the people died. She should not have been a part of the rest of the movie. I'm glad she lived, you know, but, um, it didn't match any of the story beats except for, and then a micro, and then the pathogens, the computer virus takes out the invasion
00:36:03
Speaker
And this one is also like crazy fast. The original book. I know the book. So it's a two parts. There's book one and book two. Book two happens over the course of like two to three days.
00:36:20
Speaker
And then book two, it's kind of ambiguous, but like months to a year, the radio drama is ah supposed to be like all in one night, but You know, loosey-goosey. And again, the the drama of, oh, is that real?
00:36:37
Speaker
Chat, is this real? But, um, this movie, it was going way too fucking fast. It needed... to slow down need to be faster yeah it needed to be even more breakneck you needed to not have a neck by the end of this this is you needed to be that guy from 90 day fiance whiplash yeah you need to have you need to make gern logon look like drive my car by the end of that film yeah it is made of face what was your thought
00:37:14
Speaker
That's fast. Yeah. yeah yeah That is very long. It's fast. Exactly. Driving My Car is one of the slower movies I've seen. It's a great movie, but it's so slow. yeah um
00:37:28
Speaker
Speaking of length. Yes. I watched the Demon Slayer movie. It's two and a half hours long. Okay. It felt two and a half hours long.
00:37:40
Speaker
oh In a good way or in a bad way? That's a bad thing. No, when it feels that, that when it feels, when its when it's a long movie and it feels that length, that's a bad thing. Because Dune Part 2 did not feel almost three hours long.
00:37:54
Speaker
No, it kind of had like a Chronicles of Narnia getting out of the wardrobe kind of sense. Yeah. Same thing with ah with a Endgame. Endgame didn't feel three hours long.
00:38:05
Speaker
At my second viewing, started too. I mean, it felt long, but it didn't feel three hours long.
00:38:13
Speaker
The Demon Slayer movie is so poorly paced.
00:38:19
Speaker
But it's still fine. I still recommend it. Yasmin, if you're listening to me, which I doubt... She and I have had this argument before. I don't think, because she's read all of the manga, I don't think it should have been a whole ass movie. The only movie, anime movie, that's done it the best is fucking Broly when it comes to one big fight, or a bunch of fights that don't feel too long. The Broly movie is actually fucking insanely good. Yeah, that movie is amazing though. sorry. Yeah, because it's so accessible to like, non-weebs. Like, my friend Levi, who's a non-weeb, we watched the movie and he fucking loved it because it was just, like, fighting and super cool fighting all the time, too.
00:39:01
Speaker
And you didn't need any... But it had a story! You didn't need any of the Dragon Ball lore. You were just like, here's these aliens, these two moved to this planet. You know Goku, you know Vegeta, you know Frieza.
00:39:15
Speaker
Everybody knows them. And it's also like, here's the very basic yeah there's like rundown of the story up to this point. yeah It's very like like, you don't need to watch like 80 episodes of The Turn of the Power. Here you go. Here's all you need to know. Yeah.
00:39:30
Speaker
you Anyways, continue, sorry. Here's how I fix the movie. This is the the the revelation I had.
Humorous and Creative Problem-Solving
00:39:42
Speaker
He's not an NSA guy. He's not DHS. He... work... This feels so stupid. No, no, say it, say it.
00:39:55
Speaker
Is he an IC? Oh, fuck no. We're erasing that joke. Actually, we'll keep it. We'll keep it. Fuck no. No. He is a... He's an IT guy, and his job is to manage the tech support, so any tickets that open for satellites.
00:40:15
Speaker
So you remember in the original movie, the NASA lady says at the very beginning, like, all of our satellites are down. Which, again, if all of the satellites are down, none of the movie can happen, because satellites are how a lot of the internet is transmitted.
00:40:33
Speaker
What about landlines, Ruthie? Just turn off the internet and turn it back on again. That Johnny Depp movie, exactly. You get it? So... Can you guys stop knocking down my shit?
00:40:46
Speaker
For five minutes. The boys... Little Bing has just groaned at that, too. who Five minutes. So the movie is going to stay in its original format of searching...
00:41:03
Speaker
Okay. But he's a tech supporter. Hear me out. He opens it up and he's like, Hey, i'm open I see that you've received- I've received this ticket, and you see it's on Jira, because you gotta name drop the logos, because that was all throughout the original movie. You gotta to keep it. So, uh, ticket.
00:41:25
Speaker
What do you mean all satellites are down? That's fucking stupid. And it's him troubleshooting what's going on as the events of the War of the Worlds are occurring.
00:41:37
Speaker
So instead of all satellites being affected, it's, yeah, so it's not all satellites that are going down, but it's specifically these satellites that are dealing with government, like security data.
00:41:49
Speaker
I guess we'll keep that in, but like with military-esque satellites are going down specifically and then ah somebody comments on the ticket like weird weather phenomena could that have something to do with the satellites going down he's like no you fucking idiot weather has nothing to do with satellites they're not in the atmosphere but but it's the movie is ice cube like being petty salty like you still want ice cube
00:42:21
Speaker
I'll keep him. I'll keep him. Fuck it. Okay. But it's him being an IT guy. All he needs is a good director. Stop being a hotep. And stop being a hotep, yes.
00:42:31
Speaker
Um... But the idea is, if you've ever, like, talked with somebody who is an IT professional, they shit talk everything, everyone. Everyone's an idiot. And to be fair, everyone is an idiot. But, like, it's just him muttering under his breath about everything that's going on. And then, like, you'll see, like, breaking news, tripod found in Los Angeles. He's like, oh, that's weird. doesn And it's just, it's him troubleshooting with ah actual points of War of the Worlds, like, happening.
00:43:03
Speaker
And it should, I think it should end with a computer. Like, he finally figure figures out, like, oh, the tripods are doing this on purpose. Alright, fuck you. He grabs a USB, he plugs it into his computer, and he's like, I make viruses for fun. Boss, don't fire me.
00:43:19
Speaker
And then he launches that into the tripod. He just fork bombs the tripod.
00:43:26
Speaker
Zetabyte. Zetabyte of like fucking fan fiction. you know yeah it wouldn'tlo the text it dude It would be really funny if it was a fork a fork bomb though.
00:43:39
Speaker
Like a fork bomb is Linux thing that you can do. It's not even a virus. It's it's just ah a line of code that the program reads and then it like...
00:43:51
Speaker
it's It's like an executable that calls itself, right? But the executable itself is empty, right? So it just keeps calling itself and it just multiplies out of control. Yes, that is exactly what it does.
00:44:08
Speaker
Just fork-bombed. The idea that they run on Linux is really funny. Yeah. yeah just Probably Arch. or Just fork bomb the tripods. No, he just, Hubit's notepad set operating system to Linux does the fork bomb. Just just for just do put put the little the little line of like fork code, fork bomb, just fork bomb them and it works.
00:44:38
Speaker
it's like He closes the ticket. You you just... Fucking idiot idiots. we did a lot for and yeah we yes Fucking idiots. They didn't fix this. And then it or he opens the tab. RSVPs yes to the baby shower. It would be even funnier if he tries a virus like a Trojan but they kill the Trojan and he's like, alright, fine. Let's see if you've figured out work bombs. Something really simple.
00:45:09
Speaker
I don't know if that fixes the problems that I have with the movie, but the thing about, like, War of the Worlds is, like... The fork bomb will fix the entire movie. Look, Tron Legacy is not that smart, but it's stylish and it's fun, and that's all that matters.
00:45:25
Speaker
Well, the thing about World the Worlds is, like, you kind of don't know why the Martians are doing this. oh Only that they're trying to conquer- I think in the wiki it says that they also, like, drink human blood. Wait, really? Yeah. Oh, shit. They're vampires? They're vampires?
00:45:42
Speaker
Oh, shit, that involved my fakes. Fuck. Oh, cool. Fuck. I had no idea. I've never told much about the original. Vampire aliens? That's what was doing.
00:45:53
Speaker
We got a a thing here, bro. Vampire aliens? From Mars? That's why it's red. That's why it's red. Oh, my God. oh my God. What's more God? Oh, my God.
00:46:08
Speaker
ah They wear black eyeliner. Oh, fuck! No! Mars is red! Red eyeliner! oh my god! We need to send a broadcast- We need to, like, signal broadcast MCR to Mars. I was gonna make a fucking Gerard Way joke. hate you hate you. MCR to Mars.
00:46:29
Speaker
For the vampires! Ha ha ha ha ha! Oh my god. Alright. They have songs about vampires too. la Vampires will never hurt you.
00:46:42
Speaker
Vampires will never hurt you? it was the center It was because they didn't want to do Twilight. And then so they made uh because Gerard Way is the reason Twilight exists.
00:46:56
Speaker
Yeah. Can't confirm. Hold up. horton sh
00:47:03
Speaker
Let's take it a step back.
00:47:07
Speaker
Alright.
00:47:10
Speaker
Fifty Shades of Grey started was it as a Twilight fanfic. anic Erotica fanfic, yeah. Yes, erotica fanfic of Twilight.
00:47:20
Speaker
Twilight also started as a fanfic, right? No, no, no. I wouldn't say it started from MCDAR. She had a dream and then she dreamt that she was on a date. don't know if it was a date or she just met Gerard Way.
00:47:36
Speaker
No, i I can't. Okay, yeah. more My mom is a Twilight person. you can take this out. but No, it's not here. My mom's huge Twilight fan.
00:47:47
Speaker
So Stephanie and Meyer had a dream about the characters. He's up there. Stephanie and Meyer had a dream about Edward and Bella. And she was like, I need to figure out these characters. And I don't think that he inspired them one-to-one.
00:48:02
Speaker
He didn't inspire the story one-to-one. This isn't fanfiction of... But as she was writing, she was listening to MCR. So ah that did influence Twilight. She said Edward was based off of what Gerard towerard looked like at the time.
00:48:16
Speaker
So wait, she had a dream? She had a dream about Edward and edward and Bella. okay I think it was the meadow like the meadow scene in the first movie.
00:48:28
Speaker
And she was like, what's going on? Meadow scene where he sparkles. No, at the end of the first one, where the two of them were... She's, like, laying in his lap. Okay. And then she's gerard so she She asked Gerard. Gerard said no. Vampire Money was the song. Oh, yeah, that's it. Vampire Money was the song he made afterwards. He said no.
00:48:49
Speaker
So, hold up. So, like, this the the Twilight author described Edward as, like, irresistibly hot. Yeah. So that's what she thinks about Gerard Way? i mean, she's right, though. Gerard Way is irresistibly hot. I was 30 feet from him in the when I went to Chicago a few weeks ago to see him.
00:49:12
Speaker
oh the could Biggest degree agrees, right? You couldn't contain yourself? No, because, uh, uh, what's the name of that one band? The opener.
00:49:24
Speaker
Devo. Devo showed up and they kind of removed some of it. Okay. Okay. Okay. But then they had the lead singer of, uh, Smashin' Pumpkin show up for the last song and it got really hard again.
00:49:38
Speaker
didn't hear about this. I told you this. i don't remember. Okay, yeah, he showed up and sang, uh, Spy All My Rage. last song Surprise cameo was not announced.
00:49:49
Speaker
We all lost our shit. yeah Long story, everyone. i i A friend and invited me to Chicago to see a marching band. known But yeah. um That's a good fix. That's a really good fix.
00:50:06
Speaker
yes Mine's gonna be many so ass in comparison. You fixed the the style.
Movie's Escapism and Editing Choices
00:50:13
Speaker
It works. You win the podcast, Ruthie. You're in the podcast.
00:50:17
Speaker
Because you kept it in the style. War of the Worlds. My likes. The movie made me forget my troubles for five minutes. Because you had worse troubles. I had worse troubles. Five minutes only.
00:50:30
Speaker
Five minutes. But the movie's an hour and a half long. There was one moment where I got really absorbed into bullshit. Not in a good way. Like, what the fuck is this movie doing? I had a crash out. I had an actual crash out while watching it. I want to hold Bingus now.
00:50:46
Speaker
Bingus is on his lap. He's naked because he was going to be too noisy.
00:50:52
Speaker
So everyone my other likes that everyone outside of Ice Cube tried. Yeah. I don't like Ice Cube. The only last good role I've seen him in is fucking Superfly in the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movie. Yeah, i know that would that one's good.
00:51:07
Speaker
Also, I think the movie's actual tagline was worse than you think, which is so fucking prophetic. Oh, It might have been fake, but I choose to believe it's real. I can check.
00:51:20
Speaker
Yeah, I did see like a poster that was like it's worse than you think. And I'm like, that's not what they mean. Okay. listen maybe Maybe they did know. Maybe they knew it was bad. Oh, they did. I'm sure was some guy getting away with it.
00:51:34
Speaker
Is it? I do have a question to pose to y'all. Y'all. Yous. Youans. Youans. Bengis, get down from there. Does Bengis need jail?
00:51:49
Speaker
I think he needs jail. I think he needs jail. Give me a second. I'll pause. So Ruth, you did look it up. and What is the tagline? you can you can i can just say it. The tagline is worse than you think.
00:52:02
Speaker
It is actually, it's worse than you think. I didn't remember it right. God damn it. The tagline is worse than you would think. Because it is, it's worse than you would think.
00:52:16
Speaker
No, it's worse than you think. It's worse than you think. um My other dislikes. Ice Cube is in this and this is a lot worse than I expected. I saw him in a Minecraft commercial recently on my phone. He's acting a lot better in that one.
00:52:35
Speaker
Like, here's the thing. i I'm gonna... I just wanna... don't... I don't get it because everyone else is acting just better better than he is.
00:52:46
Speaker
And yeah, I know he has more space. And maybe it was like they show he gave a couple takes and they picked the wrong one. so I don't know if it's him or the editors who just fucked him over. The editors just like, fuck Ice Cube.
00:53:00
Speaker
Yeah. Who can say? don't know. um Eating data is a fun idea. It doesn't make sense.
00:53:11
Speaker
Because, again, if they ate through Facebook, it might be easier to eat through all of Teams. Especially as soon as they touch on Microsoft's server farm, it's fucking over.
00:53:24
Speaker
ah Transforming a virus a virus into computer virus is bananas. I can kind of understand the science, but it's real ass and the movie doesn't explain it. I just had to make my my own explanation. i wasn't a fan of that.
00:53:37
Speaker
Fun fact, it makes no sense. It doesn't. Like, I imagine my own gobbledygook science of like, oh, I see. You just turned the the codes into nu into binary code. Like the human je like the replicating RNA of the virus into code.
00:53:54
Speaker
And then you just do that. That's not how that works. I know that's not how it works. but i'm pack that's not yeah What you said earlier, Ed, would make an amazing sticker. What? Fun fact, it makes no sense. Fun fact, it makes no sense. We should do that.
00:54:11
Speaker
um What do they do with the data? It's food, right?
00:54:18
Speaker
Was the data just food for them? I think that's what they were trying to go for. It's not a war! You're just stopping your stone friend from eating everything in the kitchen! you know they just like data.
00:54:32
Speaker
Data is beautiful for them, so they like to collect it.
00:54:37
Speaker
My, what lovely data.
00:54:40
Speaker
Now but
00:54:46
Speaker
let's cuddle. Oh! and oh and let's cuddle Little spoon. Yeah. If you haven't played Expedition 33, you'll know the character we're talking about. That was the most jarring, funniest line in the entire game. Monoco-versa. That's the OTP. That is that is a bromance beyond bromances, dude.
00:55:09
Speaker
They do their own hair. They cuddle. it Amazon, Ruthie already talked on. Mm-hmm. The CGI of the aliens looks like ass I'm surprised don't know you've talked about it. I'm pretty sure it's AI. I think it was AI. Oh, that was the question I was going to pause at. ah did ed Do you also subscribe to that was really, really early AI in the movie?
00:55:31
Speaker
um I know it's been like a month since seen it. don't. I don't. I don't because the AI thing wasn't really ah thing in early 2020.
00:55:47
Speaker
Although... it took five years to release, so... the past Yeah, I see the possibility that it is ai And they made sure that i all... the I feel like the aliens were ai No hands.
00:56:03
Speaker
So nobody would be able to tell. There's weird inconsistencies with the tripod. There were no aliens, though. it was The tripod. The tripod, yeah.
00:56:15
Speaker
a lot of What I'm saying is most most, if not all, of the clips with the tripods, I think they were AI. Perhaps. it's just It's just a theory.
00:56:28
Speaker
a game theory. Anyway.
Casting Choices and Educational Sidebar
00:56:30
Speaker
fix it You know he's gonna be in Five Nights at Freddy's too as Toy Bonnie, right? It's the wildest casting I've ever seen. Who?
00:56:40
Speaker
MatPat from Game Theory. oh And Megan Fox is going to be Toy Chica. I'm just there for Peeta Pit, bro. Yeah, Peeta's good. Megan Fox is playing Toy Chica, the one that everyone goons over.
00:56:54
Speaker
fuck about Megan Fox. Have you seen her? You do because she was really bad Mortal Kombat as an actress. and that oh so remind me. Yeah.
00:57:05
Speaker
She can't. Everybody else is doing great. She's like, I'm reading from a piece of paper. Anyway, fix it. Megan Fox. Stop. This takes place over the stamp this takes places over the span of a week. There's no way you can get all this shit done in an hour and a half.
00:57:22
Speaker
I don't believe in that. There's no fucking Yeah, because it's real time. That's true. I don't think it's... No. So... Other big thing. Faith is sick.
00:57:34
Speaker
There's no pregnancy storyline. Her mom still died of cancer. Faith's fiance is still an Amazon driver. Is it like a long term like she's got like an autoimmune disease? Something's slowly killing her. i didn't Maybe an autoimmune disease. I didn't really put too much thought. does she like also have cancer? I think the implication is there's another is this cancer or something like it.
00:57:58
Speaker
Lyme disease. No, you can easily cure Lyme disease. My family's had it. I know, but like... It takes time. maybe Maybe she didn't get treated early enough. She's developing complications from it.
00:58:11
Speaker
Again, that happened to my family. For the most part, you can heal. It just takes you a long time. Rabies. You're dead in 72 hours. accept Except... Except that one lady... 100 people have survived rabies.
00:58:26
Speaker
Okay, let's let's clarify that situation, Ruthie, because i've I've actually read on this. There is one person, one confirmed, well, no, not confirmed, but there is one woman that did survive. i I thought there was more people after her.
00:58:41
Speaker
yes. Because they discovered a tribe, and I think it's in South America. Yes, I know about the tribe. That has a genetic component different from the rest of the fucking planet that gives them a a fighting chance against rabies.
00:59:01
Speaker
It's still pretty bad for them, but a lot of them do survive still. So, excluding that genetic component, because that is really weird, rabies has a 99.99999% kill rate because of that one girl that survived.
00:59:18
Speaker
two Two. Two women survived, I think, actually. It reminds me of my friend who had who survived who is immune to sickle cell anemia. but Wow, that is insane. but he can't Fewer than 20 people have survived rabies. but you can't But the problem is he can't eat any legumes. It will fucking make him sick and possibly kill him.
00:59:37
Speaker
So like how cats can't eat garlic because it explodes their blood cells. Kind of. What happens is he will he got like a meal and there was one literal bean inside.
00:59:48
Speaker
Different legumes affect him differently. But he had one legume and it sent him to the hospital. Damn, dude. That's crazy. But he but eats hummus. He eats hummus. He loves fucking hummus. He can't. He's like, I hate myself afterwards, but I let you hummus. Yeah. hu dude yeah i read what garlic does to cats i read what garlic does to cats and it's actually horrifying yeah i cook with so much garlic it makes it hard i know how do cats survive in italy how do vampires survive in italy
01:00:21
Speaker
I don't think Samaritan's part of Italy. The Horn of Vampires in Italy. Why do you think in Twilight they were in Spain? No, they were in Italy. That's the point. were in Italy. Oh ah
01:00:39
Speaker
God. So I don't even want to continue anymore. I'm sorry. No, it's fine. This is much better than I was going to say. So the dad... I forget the dad's character's name. I remember Dave and I remember Lily. The dad? William? Will?
01:00:53
Speaker
Will? Okay. So he comments, because I was like, there's barely any hinting that his son's a computer genius. So he's like, his dad comments on how it's always harder for him to get around Dave's computer.
01:01:05
Speaker
And he unknowingly, in the first day, downloads a phishing virus from Dave that gives Dave access to all of DHS. yeah It makes no fucking sense otherwise how he gets in without that back door.
01:01:16
Speaker
And that is absolutely the the hacker son of a DHS would behave. Exactly! So he makes it harder to show his, like, kind of hinting his dad. And then he also adds another, because he's so frustrated he can easily slip in a virus. It's not, it's, it's it's I don't know, it made sense.
01:01:32
Speaker
Gives him a little rebellion thing already. Honestly, the aliens aren't deadly! The aliens aren't that deadly. The little bugs don't do shit!
01:01:43
Speaker
Yeah. it's It's just the big ones. And it feels like they killed no one on purpose. They just want the data. Yeah. Well, they did they did blast all of the guy's hacker friends. Yeah. because But they should have killed the NASA lady following the plot of the original Yeah. They should have done lot. They should have. The body count should have been a lot higher. I'm trying to end this episode. It should have been darker.
01:02:05
Speaker
So they want to destroy. Whimsy. How much whimsy? How much whimsy? Yeah. you You'll see. i'll I'll do whimsy in a second. You'll actually see. I do have some whimsy in here. Because I don't take this movie seriously. So they want to destroy the energy sources orefineries and shit.
01:02:19
Speaker
So they leave humanity unable to fight back so that they can like kind of feast on them like all humans like vampires or monsters. Because know the movie we kind of hinted that modern tech is from crashed ship.
01:02:33
Speaker
The ship that crashed earlier? Oh yeah, they mentioned that. yeah Oh yeah! Literally Independence Day, but we'll ignore that. um Men in Black, they like. Yeah, both of them. Both of Will Smith. Wow, he did a lot of alien movies in the Will Smith should have been Ice Cube.
01:02:51
Speaker
It would have been a lot better, actually. i could have actually seen... Daniel Craig did that that ah Cowboys vs. Aliens. He should have been. We should do that one.
01:03:02
Speaker
I don't know if i want to do that one. Dude, that movie is so fucking wild. I have a wild of movie theater story for that too. Okay, we'll we'll do it then. We'll do that one next. so So, that it's a modern tech is from a crashed ship, right?
01:03:17
Speaker
So, like, a lot of different things, even some really minuscule things come from the crashed ship. There's one big ship that's next to DHS. DHS. That births smaller ships and then they kill and feast on the organic matter.
01:03:32
Speaker
Okay. You got to kill the mother basically. the It's like a video game. It's just that you got to kill the mom. You kill the mother ship. Game over. They can't replicate. They won't have enough time to replicate because it takes a long time. So the idea.
01:03:46
Speaker
So Faith, over the week, starts getting better better from her sickness. She injected herself with that, what she called the cannibal virus to remove her illness. That's why she made it. I know the movie hinted it was just because her mom died of cancer. I think it's a double-edged sword.
01:03:59
Speaker
Double-edged sword, like a two-reason thing. Mm-hmm. So they're like, wait, what if we just rewrite a new thing of the virus to put it on a needle that goes through a drone? Because they figure out their flesh is... There's actual flesh beneath the silicon metal, right? Kind of taking the idea from the original where they get sick from... Or I thought it was... Now I see it was the original. I thought it was from the fucking Steven Spielberg movie. The last 10 minutes I saw it's like they died from the common cold.
01:04:24
Speaker
No, no, no. that is That is the ending of the original. So the thing is that the Martians feed on our blood. They feed on the blood of living things. But they had no resistance to human pathogens, any human pathogens. So the fact that we have germs is what killed them, our germs. So it's a bit like Star Wars. The only way they can get it.
01:04:46
Speaker
Yes. So the only way they can get the thing is in it the only gap in this big ship's armor is there's a little ox, like ox cord looking, ox hole looking thing. piece. Okay. That we based shit off of.
01:05:00
Speaker
So it's like, okay, yeah we get a syringe in there, okay, but we can't get close enough to it. It's like near, it's like on its waist, the equivalent of the waist, and we're like six feet tall. They get attacked, and the the Amazon driver fiance grabs a piss bottle, because you know Amazon drivers, they can't, they're just stuck in driving all the goddamn time, and they have to piss in bottles.
01:05:22
Speaker
Fuck Amazon. And he throws... And he throws the piss bottle, and it goes super far, super precise, hits the ship, makes it one of the smaller ships, makes it explode. I've been training for months for this. They all remember he has a side hustle when he's bored in between shifts. He's one of those trick throwers on TikTok.
01:05:42
Speaker
He can get, you know. dude Yeah, I love those trick shot videos. I quoted the movie. Which one? but In the movie, when he pulls out the drone, he's like, they've been training ah us for months on this. And then he throws the piss bottle.
01:05:57
Speaker
Yeah. So yeah! One of my friends applied to me on Amazon Drive and I'm oh man, you better invest invest in some piss bottles.
01:06:08
Speaker
So he's like, okay, so the Dave is going to, Dave and the dad are going to control and hijack different drones, explode other little ships on the way. and then they just, it's like a big thing in the background. As you see, just ah the fucking fiance running, dodging. He's a complete loser nerd about i Just kind of like, to to like little music, whatever. i liked him. He was the only person with actual personality in the movie outside of the sun with the fucking three fake outs.
01:06:35
Speaker
yeah Three fake-outs! Three fake-outs, yeah. So he grabs the thing, throws it, and it just barely gets in. and then they just die they just die. The mothership dies. It's a whole phantom menace where the, you know, of piss. yeah ph The piss is the secret ingredient to the to the fucking cannibal virus.
01:07:01
Speaker
It's the piss. Yeah. The Phantom Menace of Piss. The Phantom... The Pissed Menace. Damn it! Thank you! Pissed Menace.
01:07:13
Speaker
Pissed Menace. So, just piss. Movie ends. It's piss. It's piss. I'm not making fun of the Amazon drivers. It's genuinely terrible, but Amazon does do. You don't deserve that. It's just piss. It's just piss.
01:07:29
Speaker
Piss is no longer a word. No. When we say the piss bottle, we're not making fun of the drivers. making We're shitting on Amazon the company making them piss on models. Piss is no longer a word. You guys have just said it so much. Piss. Piss.
01:07:46
Speaker
Piss. You hear what I'm hearing, right? piss piss i i was earlier when i went to the restaurant you're hearing gibberish is what you're hearing piss you're coming to the realization that every word is just a combination of different sounds that we make with our mouths that our brains interpret as a thing but it actually is just nothing yeah we we have boring human language we don't have cool squirrel language where there's also like a tail component Or, or, or, or,
01:08:15
Speaker
or or habits are how do you sound well or had the podircular language because time what rival arrival haven't seen a r we haven seen a arrival will didn't ruin anything yeah it means nothing okay just like the sound of but i didn't spoil anything okay that's good i again i have muc spoilers at the ready And is what's what's crazy about the aliens is that they're really alien because they have seven appendages.
01:08:48
Speaker
Stop. I've been pretty blind to the movie my entire life. For most since it's come out, I want to watch it. I just keep forgetting to. so So, would you rate this
Conclusion and Episode Reflection
01:09:00
Speaker
movie? I think this is one of the worst ones we've ever done. Not as bad, not as much psychic damage, but...
01:09:06
Speaker
It's in like the bottom 20 of Rotten Tomatoes, I think. it's It was zero for a hot minute. It became seven now, but yeah. But it's still one of the one of the lowest Rotten Tomatoes history. It's not good. Yeah.
01:09:20
Speaker
It's pretty harmless. So like, it's not like some movies that we've done, like that one, a Holiday in Harlem, where it was a nothing burger. No, there was stuff here. There was stuff, but it's kind of more in like the nothing burger kind of bad.
01:09:35
Speaker
But that that's, yeah. But the thing is like the, the nothing burgers like it Cause I, usually describe when, when, when there's nothing like there, like that, it's even it's, it's worse than if you actually hate it.
01:09:54
Speaker
Yeah. i hated watching this movie, but this movie is worse than like a nothing movie. Yeah. you know Yeah. It's actually, it,
01:10:04
Speaker
It crossed that barrier. And it's insane. It's insane. How bad this is. Can I say a funny story about this movie before i watched it? So I saw the first scene, he's playing a music on Spotify.
01:10:19
Speaker
So someone did a really convincing edit job of making it look like he was listening to Simple and Clean from Kingdom Hearts. And was like, wow, how did they get the licensing rights to this movie? It was a really good edit I saw online.
01:10:34
Speaker
And I win- that should be my fix. He listens to Kingdom Hearts music. Just- I don't know. God. No, he listens to Metalcore. No. No, he listens to Gurley Pop while he's riding the virus. Carly Rae Jepsen.
01:10:50
Speaker
Oh. Sabrina Carpenter. Sabrina Carpenter. I'm not big on Sabrina. Uh, Chapel Roan. Taylor Swift's of that discussion now. I can make that joke now. i'm a I can live now after saying that. Haha.
01:11:03
Speaker
Never been a Taylor Swift fan. So... Taylor Swift is getting a secret lair for Magic the Gathering. Is she really? They're that desperate.
01:11:17
Speaker
Yeah. That she's teaming up with the people who would despise her the most, arguably. Like, the fans who would despise her. Oh, my God. teamed up with Hasbro, which is the coast, and now they're, I think, they're releasing, like, three or four cards... They're doing Sonic cards too, right?
01:11:35
Speaker
They already did. And the Sonic cards is a cool secret layer because they're uniquely only the Sonic cards. The abilities don't exist in anything else. the tail swift the to The Taylor Swift cards, they're reprints with just Taylor Swift on them.
01:11:52
Speaker
So like they're cards that already exist. just like the rest of her and Just like the rest of her marketing is cheap
01:12:01
Speaker
Yeah, fuck Hasbro, by the way. Oh, I know. Anyways, back to broadcasting. It sounds like we're going to rate this all E. Are we in agreement? This is an This is an E. For Ed quality.
01:12:20
Speaker
Or no, we should rate it G because it's worse than F. Oh, yeah. Yeah, It's a G. It's a G. It's a G. It's a G. g So. but for four good you For? what Gag.
01:12:37
Speaker
ga Gag. wolve Gag? Well, no, it's good with bad, but with a G instead of... No, I got it. Because it makes you gag. Gag. G for gag. G for gag, yeah. is gag So, 100 episodes, you guys.
01:12:53
Speaker
Let's get it to ourselves. we did it. We did it. And it's also our last episode. Five years. We faced so many trials, so many enemies. We didn't have any enemies. And it's also our last episode.
01:13:06
Speaker
No, it's not. Yeah, no. It's not. We talked about it being our last just due to life. But actually, some stuff cleared up now, and it's a little better. Well, not like that. But you know it it i we have more time again. So we'll be hopefully doing more episodes again. But yeah, thank you for listening, everyone. It's been a great, fun journey.
01:13:26
Speaker
Of 100 episodes. Do we want to share some highlights? What we've enjoyed in podcast?
01:13:36
Speaker
I want you guys to go first. Or at least one of you go first. ah what i've what The number one thing I've enjoyed is... ah ah i actually am liking... like
01:13:50
Speaker
kind of some bad movies so like i enjoy a lot more movies than i used to because i'm not not nearly as fucking cynical or like hard ass about it anymore on the whimsy side fuck whimsy i still don't like it and yet you play in my dnd games
01:14:12
Speaker
yeah because it has like a good balance of whimsy I'm whimsical fuck. it's It's good whimsy balance. compliment.
01:14:24
Speaker
take the take compliment um I really appreciate that we made a lot of really cool friends. Shout out Syndicate. Shout out Made Up Movies slash Shorster.
01:14:35
Speaker
Smash Trivia. Dodge Movie Productions. Dodge Movie Podcast. john ah Smash Trivia John. um Shout out to Lord Reverend D. yeah I know we haven't collabed with him again, but he was great. yeah ah Shout out to Slay the Stars. yeah were great yeah those They were They were super fun to collab with. Yeah.
01:14:56
Speaker
They introduced me to the funniest Wachowski film, that Jupiter Ascending, which I actually do like. Yeah, I really... i is that is Is that the Eddie Redman one?
01:15:07
Speaker
Yeah. Tentacles? Yeah. I do like that. And how Rebel Moon tried to rip that off. Yeah. Also, I found out... PG-13, Cuddle Puddle. I found out it's not happening.
01:15:20
Speaker
Part 3's not happening. ro Yeah, it was that a bad. I wanted it to happen. I have it written down for like the continuity's sake. My fix is for 2. which For which? point which third're of a moon ist getting I know, I know it's not. I'm not surprised. I'm so sad. I know. I told you and I was like, oh, well that's going
Podcast Success and Opportunities
01:15:40
Speaker
to be heartbroken. i I thought it was making good numbers because people just wanted to see how bad it was.
01:15:48
Speaker
I think just the relationship, like Ruthie said, the relationships have been really fun. I think those who have been the best. It's led to some, also some, what?
01:15:59
Speaker
Agreed, but I also just enjoy that I'm watching lot more crazy. For sure. I think it's led to some, also some fun real life stuff too happening.
01:16:09
Speaker
Like we've gotten some fun opportunities thanks to starting this podcast. Like Ed got to be a director.
01:16:18
Speaker
You know, yeah ah I got to go to Chicago.
01:16:24
Speaker
huh my coworkers bully me as soon as they find out I have a podcast because I will not say the name. Really? You want to say the name? I think I'll say it, but I'll make sure they don't write it down.
01:16:36
Speaker
ah This is not the professional format I want to be recognized for. I'm trying not to be as whimsical under during my work. I am very, I don't care. don't know about it, but they they've never listened to it. A few of my classmates have listened and they've said, some I'm like, what do you think? do like, I liked it. And it's like, oh they won't listen again. I'm like, that's fine. Oh yeah. No, actually. one percent oh yeah One of my coworkers back used to listen to it a lot, a few episodes. Right.
01:17:03
Speaker
And she was like, why is Ed stoned all the time? Cause you were so low energy. Cause were working night shifts back then. And yeah see she, it was so funny. Like, he's not so, she's like, I don't believe you. I'm like, that's fine. and but but I am.
01:17:19
Speaker
No, but like not usually during recording. No, not usually while we're ending. Yeah. While you're ending. go Go ahead. But yeah. Um, man, what are we doing? Oh, man. But yeah, what are you, what are,
01:17:40
Speaker
It's been fun. Any movies that you really you're proud of?
01:17:46
Speaker
That you've fixed? I feel like we all did really good for Monster Hunter. Yeah, that one we all brought to the game.
01:17:56
Speaker
That was my pick. i Yeah, I remember having a really, really effects I really, really liked. but I don't remember what it was. Yeah. I'm also proud i'm proud of this fix. I felt like I was kind of in like a tailspin last few episodes that we've done that my fixes weren't that great. But this one, I feel like I also did really well. and I feel like I did really bad in this one, but for but I saved it with the piss. I know I saved it with the piss.
01:18:23
Speaker
I need to look back through our episodes and find out which one which one I'm like the most proud of. I think The Time Traveler's Wife was one of my best. That that that is one of our highest rated episodes.
01:18:34
Speaker
You know why, right? Because of the show. Because we we, I mean, I was unaware. We were all unaware, but we did Time Trader's Wife. Yeah. We did Time Trader's Wife as the show was starting to go HBO. Sweet SEO.
01:18:50
Speaker
Yeah, we got real lucky. Yeah, we got really lucky. Because, like, we did the episode, and then I saw, like, a commercial about it on HBO, and i'm like, oh, shit.
01:19:02
Speaker
awesome and I missed the show! It was really The show was so good, and then that asshole... Sazlav. Yeah, Sazlav was like, ah well, women, clearly, they just want to watch paint dry. They don't want, like, good They don't want good TV with good characters. little and like actual like Yeah, the plan was to move all the women's shows to Discovery, and then keep all the boy shows on HBO Max. Except just call Max.
01:19:31
Speaker
Yeah. And the end the that's crazy because i i watched I watched the entire show with my mom. like We made it an effort to like watch it together and like once a week.
01:19:43
Speaker
And my mom was actually really sad that they canceled it. And she, like, expressed, it like, genuine, like, disappointment. And I'm like, wow, you don't you don't i have this stuff with, like, things that I show you, usually.
01:19:59
Speaker
thought about saying she doesn't have this stuff with you. I'm like, damn, dude. No, just things I show her. She never really, like, emotionally invested in. No, get it. I'm the same with my parents. She had emotionally invested into this show, which I'm like, it was good, though. It was really good. What was the other? Oh, yeah, all of us have grown beards since we started this show. All of us. All of us.
01:20:20
Speaker
Assholes. No, I'm including you. You're so cool. You get a beard like us. Asshole! no not what I meant! I meant you have full big... Guys, she has like a really cool beard that she she just keeps plucking my hair from the night. She makes a fake beard. And then she just wears it all around. she bras We all have beards. What? She braids it.
01:20:40
Speaker
yeah She braids it like a Viking thing, too. She has the Viking design down. I even know i can't even grow it that long, but here she is There's no evidence that Vikings braided their beards. i don't care um evidence of liking anything it's it's yeah hard it got wiped out by the christians yeah no it's not even that it's just they never really wrote anything down didn't have books no they they were no and they were destroyed by like like a lot of the the culture was also like destroyed by the christians yeah oh
01:21:16
Speaker
not what I don't remember reading that when I did my ADHD dive into that, but okay. who Who's next? That's a great question. who That is a great question.
01:21:29
Speaker
I think I picked... Wait, you forgot two? No, because I suggest... no what happened Oh no, we did all vote on War of the Worlds, but you were the one who brought it up. Yes, we all vote on War of the Worlds. I brought up Minecraft thought piss off Ed.
01:21:41
Speaker
It pissed me once again. totally kill it was mine. Which means that it's Ed's pick. Ed, you have pick? What was my last pick then?
Recommendations and Humorous Debate
01:21:51
Speaker
Mean Girls? No, that was a guess. That was a guess. Kraven. Kraven?
01:21:55
Speaker
Oh yeah, I did do Kraven. No, it was the crow. Oh, it was the crow. Yeah, it was the crow. It's Ed's turn. So then you did Kraven... Mean Girls, Ruthie Totally Killer.
01:22:08
Speaker
i think we skipped a Yeah, so it's Ed's your pick. Alrighty, then. no, Mean Girls was a guest. Yeah. Mean Girls was a guest. all Alrighty, then. Let's, uh, let's, uh, think of, let's, uh, let's do a big thunk.
01:22:26
Speaker
Uh...
01:22:33
Speaker
oh god could do the stupid electric state netflix movie oh that one's bad electric state it's chris pratt and millie bobby brown was it but yeah and it's the russo brothers that did it yeah it's bad russo brothers are like you know superhero shit but like Guys, I don't think Doomsday is going to do as good as they're wanting it to. Doomsday? The next Avengers.
01:23:08
Speaker
Avengers Doomsday. And Secret Wars. I don't think they're goingnna do as good as everyone everyone wants them to. I think people are kind of marveled out.
01:23:16
Speaker
Yeah. Like, even DC Comics are beating Marvel right now. So the electric state, Google says, see also, Atlas. ha we could do the and rebel moon and rebel moon and borderlands oh i mean all those decision i mean rebel moon is just a netflix movie and borderlands i saw and it's so while you're thinking while you're thinking ed oh ruthie your well ed your your recommendation is expedition 33 right
01:23:51
Speaker
Oh yeah, especially 33 is one of the greatest games ever made. the Like, genuinely. And you doubted me. You doubted me. I did not doubt you. You said, don't know, scoffed.
01:24:05
Speaker
and i said Yeah, before before i before I started playing the game and then I'm like, yeah, it's just just playing the game. like, yeah, this this shit is actually insane.
01:24:17
Speaker
Oh, there's also until Until Dawn that came out. which is Yeah, my recommendation is the Expedition 33 along with Silksong. I fucking love Silksong. That was going to my recommendation with Silksong. I beat the game, everyone. It is so i it was worth the fucking seven-year wait, let me tell you. can't.
01:24:36
Speaker
I hit a wall and I can't beat the game. You can. just got to keep practicing. You still got 8% left. Hugh and Shore. Don't give me that. See everyone, I still talk to people outside the podcast. from that's a podcast um We could do Friendship.
01:24:53
Speaker
I don't know if I could. She can't watch it. That'd be a guy's day movie. and I can't fix that film. I love that movie. It's my number two of the year.
01:25:05
Speaker
Clearly we need to fix Superman. No. no It's really good. There's very few things I'd fix. It'd be a very short episode. Unless we want to just make our likes and just talk about the movie. Ruthie, what's your recommendation?
01:25:23
Speaker
What is my recommendation? We watched Speak No Evil because I was in a spooky mood and it was a really good horror movie. I was expecting there to be like supernatural elements.
01:25:36
Speaker
ah Yeah. don't know. It was really good. i i i've I just saw a movie here that I watched recently actually that I will recommend. Alright. For the podcast?
01:25:48
Speaker
Yes. No, not for the podcast. Just for people to watch. Predator Killer of Killers. It's on Hulu. It's really good. I really like it. It's animated. Yeah. I've heard it's good.
01:26:00
Speaker
Yeah. Maybe 28 years later. i haven't seen the original. i She hasn't seen the original. i haven't seen the second one.
01:26:10
Speaker
Yeah, you don't need to watch either of them. Do you want to watch the original? And then we can skip to the third. You you don't need to watch. I do if you want to keep making if you want to keep doing the sequels.
01:26:24
Speaker
What are they going to do? 28 decades later? They're doing 28 years later, part two and part three. they're doing The next one's 28 years later, the Bone Temple. That's what it's called. oh that sounds frank And then the next one is with Cillian Murphy coming back. Because Cillian Murphy's in the first one.
01:26:42
Speaker
i thought he was in 28 days later. Cillian Murphy's coming back? Yeah. But he was also in 28 years later, right? Not in this one. He's going to be in the third second or third one, supposedly. oh Probably the third.
01:26:58
Speaker
But yeah. do Do you want to do 28 years? We can do 28.
01:27:05
Speaker
Dang I'm like she's rewatched 28 days Fucking love 28 days yeah weapons might be my favorite movie of the year
01:27:15
Speaker
weapons is really good so what else i really enjoyed naked gun naked gun was really good i haven't seen it yet oh yeah that's that's my other rec um if you like comedies especially if you like smart stupid comedies naked gun is right up your alley um i argued with co-workers of mine about whether it was going to be good or not and i had a good feeling i was fucking right There's a YouTuber I've sometimes watched.
01:27:41
Speaker
I follow on Letterboxd, though. He liked this movie so much that he went back and he gave Happy Gilmore to a lesser grade because that's because it's like that that's ah it's a really bad legacy sequel. um Oh!
01:27:54
Speaker
Him came out and apparently it's bad. I you don't know how we can watch that. It's still theaters. And I don't really have the money for it right now. oh yeah. It's still in theaters. Okay. So we're getting to that place. So what were the two movies? Well, no. There was that one that I said that was a... Wolfman. Wolfman and The Electric State. The Electric State. Let's do The Electric State.
01:28:16
Speaker
All right. Yeah, but that'll be a while from now because I am leaving to Japan in two days. Basically a day from now.
01:28:29
Speaker
Yeah.
Concluding Remarks and Goodbye
01:28:30
Speaker
are feeling? We want to say goodbye first so we can talk for a little bit? Yeah. Goodbye, everyone. Thank you so much for listening. Give us five stars. you're on YouTube, like and subscribe. four And join us next time for The Electric State.
01:28:44
Speaker
Yeah. Giga. Or Ed will be speaking in japanese fluent Japanese the entire time. hi Nope. Do it. Watashi kawaii ga?
01:28:56
Speaker
What does that mean? am Am I cute? I didn't hear the kawaii. Watashi kawaii ga? Kawaii-ka? I thought it was kawaii-desu.
01:29:08
Speaker
Kawaii? don't know grammatically way. I just know what Dashi is referring to myself. Kawaii is cute. And ka at the end means a question.
01:29:20
Speaker
Oh, okay. Interesting. Dashi kawaii-ka? I think that's saying, am I cute? I don't know, though. If it's wrong, bully Duolingo.
01:29:31
Speaker
Or Ed. Just bully Ed. Bully me. Say mean things to me. He doesn't know his kanji. He doesn't know his kanji either. Harakana. Harakana. Harakana. Fuck me i Make fun of me. It's got... Wait. or Is... Harak... No. It's Katakana, Hirigana, and kanji.
01:29:51
Speaker
Fucking nerd. Alright. Thank you, everyone. It's been great to be here for five years. Let's hope for another five. ah Reshoot for another, reshoe hundred re shootot a hundred years for freak good mor yeah hundred re reshoot years. Reshoot
01:30:14
Speaker
Hello, it's me, Ed. I had to edit this one after I got back from Japan. So so yeah.
01:30:27
Speaker
Anyways, today's movie was War of the Worlds, directed by Rich Writers include Kenny Gould and Mark Hyman for the screenplay, Kenny Gould for the screen story, and all of this based on the novel by H.G. Wells.