Minecraft

Transcript

Speaker: So let me spoil something for you guys real quick. ah when when When they first got into the overworld of Minecraft, there was that villager that walked out, right?

Speaker: And then i saw, like, it it flashbacked or flashed to that scene later on where Jennifer Coolidge hits the villager with her car. And then i just I just didn't... I just skipped through that.

Speaker: And the next two scenes where it was... In the real world with Jennifer Coolidge and the villager. So I don't know what happened there.

Speaker: Also, also, also. You can bag me up and take me to the curb anytime. anytime

Speaker: Welcome to Reshoot, amateurs in no suits, too many movies to explore. Ruthie, Hector, and Ed left her till the end.

Speaker: Let's see something never done before.

Speaker: Welcome to Reshoot. The movie's so bad, the opening's bad. Welcome to Reshoot, an amateur's guide to good or film. Hello, I am your host,

Speaker: Jennifer Coolidge. It's me. Wow. He even took the dog. Or no, sorry. He even took my buster. no, it Bruiser, damn it.

Speaker: No, no, not Bruiser. That's El's dog. What's her dog's name? Ruthie let Hector introduce himself. No. Slime Cube! I'm um Hector. Hello, I'm Spider Jockey.

Speaker: Not Chicken Jockey because that's some bullshit. Oh, did spiders? Yeah, because that was the... I... I played Minecraft Alpha 1.0. I got a key in 2011. Well, my friend got a key and then he sold them for $5 each. Desert biomes weren't even a thing.

Speaker: It was just forest and plains and oceans and that's it. It was kind of... i want I'm just gonna start if that's cool. Because... Wait, but this is a podcast where we take movies that are good, bad, some between, and we make them objectively better by fixing them. Yeah, this one's going to be objectively better no matter what we do with it.

Speaker: It was really bad. And Ed, in a rare movie, he wants to start first, so please go for Well, you're the episodes I saw. Oh yeah, I am the episodes of Because it was my idea. Yeah. Yeah. But, that's fine, you can go first Because I have a lot of thoughts.

Speaker: Because I really like this game. I have thoughts and feelings. Because I really, really like this game. I, like, I really do. i don't play it as much as I used to, but like, I really like this game. My first fucking complaint is gonna be like...

Speaker: And spider jockeys are a thing in the game where it's a skeleton riding a spider. They had those. Yes. In the first fucking scene, there were like eight of them there. They were like a what? Like a point one to five percent spawn rate in the first iteration of the game or even. Yeah.

Speaker: Like it was like one in one thousand kind of spawns. And, like, I remember when I played it with my friends in high school, because, yes, this game came out while I was in high school.

Speaker: Spoiler alert, it's really old. Yeah. um Well, it didn't come out when I was, like, alpha version was available. It was still in the closet. Yeah. um Yeah, it was, because, no like, no nobody knew about the game when I was playing it, so.

Speaker: oh Yeah, and, i like, we we all we all shared our, like, After like six months of playing the game, we all shared like when we first or when we saw our first spider jockey.

Speaker: We're like, holy shit. We saw it. It saw it. Look, I took a screenshot. Look at this. Cause it was fucking rare and they were fucking deadly as fuck too.

Speaker: they And then they add baby zombies in this chicken jockey bullshit. I remember when this game was cool and then started like they started adding like silly shit into it. i don't know, man.

Speaker: Oh, how dare they add silly shit into a game that's primarily for kids. Yeah, but don't know. But they added axolotls to the game. They did Okay, that's- Yeah, they added axolotls.

Speaker: And well axolotls actually have a ah mechanical bonus in the game. You do increase damage when you have one a bucket of axolotls. And yeah, they've they've done a lot of good shit to the game. This whole, like, baby zombie bullshit, I hate completely.

Speaker: like it's stupid, in my opinion. Ed hates whimsy. I do hate whimsy.

Speaker: He only likes movies when they have sad endings. Yet Spider-Verse 2 is not his favorite of the trilogy. Because it doesn't have an ending. That's different. It doesn't have an ending. but It doesn't have an ending. It's not sad enough. It's half of a movie.

Speaker: i I am dying on that hill. It's half of a movie. So it okay it as a standalone is a shit movie because it doesn't it doesn't end. um Speaking of never ending, Minecraft. Minecraft. Incorrect.

Speaker: Incorrect. I'm not talking about the fucking boss. You can still play in that same world after the boss. Incorrect. Well, still technically correct, but... um When the end dragon... When the end was put into the game... When you killed the end dragon... It would play a little dialogue between two unknown characters. And it was very like philosophical and cool.

Speaker: And stuff. I don't think that's that happens anymore. I don't think it does either. And they also updated the end. Yeah, it has. it has There's end biomes and like little like cool castles you can go into that are pretty dangerous because there's little guys that give you anti-gravity and then you just fall your death.

Speaker: It's like whenever I hang out, little guys would give me anti-gravity. Yeah, when the End Dragon was added, like, you if you killed the End Dragon and jumped into the portal, you would get this little dialogue between two people characters that they kind of, like, mocked you for doing, the like, finishing the game.

Speaker: And then they got really philosophical about, like, life and shit and, like, the pursuit of finishing things or something like that. Which I thought was really cool. And then it would kick you out of the game. Out of your world.

Speaker: But you could just load back into it. And you'd load in in in the end. Anyways. And you think that's gone? Yeah. I don't think it plays with that. I can test it. I can speedrun the end in like probably like three hours or something.

Speaker: It's... I mean, the hardest part is just getting diamond. That's literally it. Getting three diamond. Anyways. Yeah. ah This movie... fucked with everything that I loved about Minecraft um another thing I really I didn't like the whole piglin bullshit like spoilers to one of my fixes there is no villain um Aw, man, he's on that Disney-Pixar train where the villain is generational trauma all along. No, there's there's literally no villain.

Speaker: That's it. There's there's no antagonist. There's just obstacles, and that's it. um But, yeah, it was just disappointing. That's all.

Speaker: Really. um What else? ah it It felt kind of weird how they described... how Minecraft works.

Speaker: And i guess i guess I guess that's for the like the adults because this is geared towards children. so So they understand a little bit of the world. but like Everyone knows Minecraft. Everyone knows how Minecraft works. like I don't know. My grandma doesn't know what Minecraft is. yeah Also, I think the premise of the movie is that... I mean, she has dementia, The premise of the movie is that this is a world where Minecraft never happened.

Speaker: It hasn't happened This movie is set in like the 70s. Yeah, the ending kind implies... It's not. It's not. It's like modern day. It's modern day, but if Minecraft hadn't happened.

Speaker: Did they have cell phones? They... Yeah. Yeah. she yeah I kept trying to call brother Selma. She's says social media creator. Right. No, it's just that like... No, it's just that Jason Momoa's character is stuck in the past in the 80s where he was Yeah, driving his like 70s fucking Challenger or Charger whatever. I don't know, cars, man.

Speaker: Take me to the curb. um

Speaker: Jennifer Kalush was the only good thing in the movie just for like that one scene. Like the two scenes the two first scenes you see her in, basically. Did you not get to the end where Matt Barry's the villager?

Speaker: There was one after credits scene. Again. Yeah, did you see it? was not bury me No. matt Barry's the villager and he learned how to speak her language in a day and she learned how to speak his language in a day. Yeah, so there's a point where she confronts her ex and... Who was the gym teacher? who is the gym teacher?

Speaker: Yes. And then he's like, I have never met a more beautiful creature. Like at the very end credits. Okay, I saw the mid-credits scene.

Speaker: And I hate how this is a thing. i mean, i don't like how Marvel does it. Where it's like leading to the next movie. I like this. I like if if it was just a gag.

Speaker: Yeah, it it was and self-contained. like ah Like Superman, where the both end credits were just contained. Oh yeah, that's right. Superman did have end credits. I did not. i didn' know And they were really good scenes.

Speaker: Well, one of them was hinting at the other movie that's coming out. That was the end of the movie, though. It was for the credits. Yeah, because there was an end credit scene of like him and Crypto on the moon, right?

Speaker: yeah those That was one of them. That was the very, very end. The other one was ah him and Mr. Fantastic. terrific Mr. Terrific, thank you. um With the building.

Speaker: There's a Mr. Terrific scene I haven't seen. and need to see that. apparently Fun fact about Superman. In Mr. Terrific's scene, they played a song from a band that no longer exists that we also found out about.

Speaker: Noah and the Whale, Five Years Time. Good song. It's great song. It's a great band, too. And apparently it ties really well into his ah character, like his backstory.

Speaker: Terrific's backstory? Yeah. Mm-hmm. how uh he explain his backstory at all they didn't explain no this is like in the comics his backstory oh in the comic books he's the third smartest man in the universe a lot of people say that he's lying that he's actually the first smartest but if he was the he if he was bold about that claim everyone would bug the shit out of him so no one wants to bother the third smartest man in the universe No, that's why they always bother Reed and Iron Man. exact Different. different

Speaker: But anyways, you pat you knows in the comic books, Reed is the number one. But that's not Marvel. second That's Marvel. dumb Oh, fuck. That's right. I'm stupid. So who's the number one, like, Brainiac?

Speaker: I think it's Brainiac or Lex. Oh, Lex. It's probably Lex. No, no, no, Lex is intelligent. He's just not wisdom. No, because he's one of the few who can have to handle the anti-life equation. No, Lex lex lexi is a genius.

Speaker: Lex can handle the anti-life equation. That's incredibly... He's not smarter than Trevor Scott. He's a fifth-level intellect. No, I don't think he... Again, I think everyone subscribes to the theory that... uh mr terrific is the smartest he just hides okay okay and i just okay i just wanted to switch a quick little thing about the song let's get back to the movie at hand all right wasn't good we could do a whole episode on it and actually have fun with it yeah but it was a good movie so yeah yeah anyways this bad movie however yeah was kind of

Speaker: Ed, whenever you're upset, just make a villager noise. It's good podcast. hey it was It was so disappointing. We're going to get flagged.

Speaker: I already said what I like, which was like Jennifer Coolidge. And that's it, basically. like Everything else is bullshit. We haven't talked about Jack Black. Well, Jack Black is great in everything he does. Except for this.

Speaker: i mean This is my least favorite performance of his I've ever seen. This one felt the most phoned in from Jack Black. Which is... Possibly, yeah. I don't think so, because this is the Also, why did Jason Momoa sign this? like How much money did they flex? I Jason Momoa actually had fun with this.

Speaker: Yeah, had little too much fun. You can tell when he was having fun with this. He got to play something that's not what his usual shtick is. so I'm sure he enjoyed it. Oh yeah, and he does he does have some good comedy chops. He has a good comedy chops.

Speaker: I think the reason Jack Black was in this is because the director was the dude who did Nacho Libre. And Napoleon Dynamite. Oh. So probably just like, can I just work with Jack Black again? Yeah. was Jack Black wasn't in Napoleon though.

Speaker: No, but he was in Nacho Libre. Yeah. And everyone else from that move from not from Napoleon, I'm pretty sure, is retired from acting, so... Yeah. I can't imagine why. um You shitting Napoleon Dynamite, dude?

Speaker: Well, people probably shit on them in real life like they did with the... Anyways. Anyways. Anyways, i said I didn't like anything else about this movie. Like, there there was no plot point that I liked.

Speaker: There was nothing that was interesting. So... Fix it. Scrapping... everything right movie is zero i'm keeping nothing from the original but what about the art style what about steve uh yeah steve's in it but not jack black second the art style would i would make them a little bit more blocky everyone a little bit more square you would make it animated i mean you're

Speaker: This is animated, it's just 3D. I'm just saying the art style would make them more blocky. If I keep it 3D, I could do it 2D too if I wanted to. What studio? Since this is 3D, I'll do Studio Orange, the one that did Trigon Stampede.

Speaker: Of course you do, you fucking shell. ah What? It's good 3D animation. It is good 3D animation. I'm not going to deny you that. It's good 3D anime animation.

Speaker: Like, I couldn't tell it was three d for, ah or like, it looked 2D enough for a little bit when i started watching it. Anyways, it's it's the best 3D animation for anime ever. Like, better than MAPA.

Speaker: Like, 100 times better than MAPA.

Speaker: Also because they're not overworked, they're just working on this one show.

Speaker: Anyways, i would make them more blocky. Let's do some, yeah, let's get Studio Orange in on this. So it's like anime 3D style. And they can definitely do very good with the blocky features and of everything.

Speaker: You took my chicken jockey, Baka. And then i would have Steve be a real boy. get sucked into the overworld.

Speaker: Right? I guess I'll keep that. that he like Real boy gets sucked into the overworld. He yearns for the mines. Oh, wait. and Funny how that joke doesn't land anymore because children are allowed to work at the mines now again.

Speaker: Fun fact. It's not fun at all. I want my money back. Yeah. Uh...

Speaker: So yeah, he yearns for the mines. He goes into the mines. He... ah Yeah, he finds the little things and he gets sucked in. And then as he gets sucked in, he turns into a fucking block person. I...

Speaker: i Blurson. He turns into, you know, the Steve that we know. We know and love. Right?

Speaker: And then when he got sucked in, the orb or the cube and and the little encasing breaks, right? So he's stuck there. And then you get what Minecraft was all about.

Speaker: Which is peaceful exploration, mining, and building. Kids are going to hate that.

Speaker: What about the creepers? Yeah, there's obviously entails everything that Minecraft is about. And yeah, it's going to be him learning how to survive and trying to figure out how to get the get get a new casing to get back to the real world.

Speaker: And then, yeah, he'll he'll encounter, like, yeah he'll build a little, you know, dirt house, because that's what you do when you first when you first start the game and a new world. You build a a little dirt house, and then he goes exploring and mining and figuring out food, and then he runs into a villager town.

Speaker: Right? Little village. Okay. And then through that, through, like, the villagers going, huh? And, like, i don't know, they can, like little like, give him maps and stuff that he can, like, go places, find resources, trade with them.

Speaker: They give him more maps and information and stuff. Okay. And then through and through that, he finds out that like, he can get a new casing. He just has to go to a scary place.

Speaker: So the villagers tell him to build a nether portal. How to build nether portal. And they tell him to build it far away from their town.

Speaker: So then he builds a nether portal. And he goes in. And it's the fucking nether. So does he just say, nah? Villagers just do the meh noise every Villagers the meh thing. Steve can talk. That's fine.

Speaker: But the villagers go, huh, huh. And like to make it easier, I guess you can do little montage of him like mining, exploring, and stuff like that. Also, with these montages, how about use the godlike music that Minecraft has?

Speaker: Because i I heard one Minecraft song in the entire movie. The overworld one that was in the beginning. Yes. And they have so many good songs. I wonder if it's like a rights thing. But why would it be a rights thing? Mojang was involved.

Speaker: Mojang was involved. They have the rights to the movie. I think they have to pay royalties. I think they won't have to pay royalties to the video game conductor and And they composer is not trained.

Speaker: Either way, they could have had at least like my favorite song from it, which is like this weird like little... I forget what it's called, but it's a song that plays in while you're underground.

Speaker: And it's very peaceful. it's very But it's still kind of spooky sounding and stuff. It's very good. or Or like it might be the the nighttime sound or something. I don't know.

Speaker: it's it's It's a song that is tied to like Darkstiff. But it's a very cool, good song. And yeah, with all these montages that that I'm going to have in this movie, you just play these Minecraft songs because they're really fucking good.

Speaker: They're just lovely to listen to. him And yeah, and through this montage of like Steve helping the villagers, you can have him understand. like get a grasp of the language so that the villagers go huh and he's like and play the minecraft songs because we're good um anyways he will eventually build another portal find out that he's like oh i have to be way more prepared more montage um how many monsters are you adding dude that's like fucking rocky one two three so far

Speaker: So a montage of the beginning, like getting to know, meeting the villagers, talking with the villagers, figuring more stuff out. Montage. Talking with the villagers, finding out that they can get to the real world with a new casing.

Speaker: Has to go to the nether.

Speaker: Goes to the nether, leaves, needs to be more prepared.

Speaker: Alright. It's more montage than movie at this point. I don't care. This is what Minecraft is about. It's about the montage of just mining and finding things and building things.

Speaker: Also, this is my power fan. or This is how I play Minecraft also, by the way. i i don't I don't really focus on on the building aspect a lot.

Speaker: I build a house that I like and then that's it.

Speaker: um first he mines then he crafts first I mine then I craft and then I beat the game quote unquote beat the game anyways he goes to another montage comes back more prepared with like you know diamond armor enchanted shit

Speaker: and then he's like alright they said I need to go into a stronghold and collect a bunch of fucking gold things

Speaker: And then he's like fighting through the nether, surviving. Also, the ghasts are going to be crying in this one. Anyways, yeah, ghasts are fucking horrifying creatures because it's so sad how they exist. Anyways.

Speaker: Yeah, that is actually real. That's more interesting. That should be the entire movie. Just a ghast making its way to the overworld. I mean, there could there could be this this... So we could have ah version of the movie that he gets to the nether, finds a little dried gas, takes to overworld, heals it up, and, you know, that's the movie.

Speaker: Gets a little gas and rides in the overworld. Or, my original plan, he gets to a stronghold, fights the the blazes, I think they're just called blazes, I forget,

Speaker: Gets all their little rods. Yes, I said that for a reason. You got to fight blazes to collect their rods. What?

Speaker: Yeah, you need but you need blaze rods. You need a lot. These hot rods. There's extreme so circumcision? Oh my god. You need blaze rods to make blaze powder, right?

Speaker: I thought it was some weird circumcision joke. You also need it to do the alchemy stand. Why do you need the alchemy stand? Guys, I've only played Minecraft ten times. Oh, I didn't need potions. Okay. they are Okay, yeah, sure. we can run He can make an alchemy stand, too.

Speaker: I don't know. he He just kind of shows up to the nether with diamond armor and enchanted armor and stuff. He can have potions, too. Whatever. He can have you can have that in the montage.

Speaker: You can have a scene where it's like, Potion Seller, sell me your finest potions, Nihira. Yeah, or you can have it in the montage that he discovers enchanting and alchemy at the same time before he goes into the nether. Anyways, he collects all the blaze rods and he goes to the villagers and says, I got these, what do I need now? And he's like, you need, at the very minimum, nine enderpearls.

Speaker: Go kill some endermen.

Speaker: And he does. There should be, in at least one of your montages, he should be killed by an enderman. Yeah, you can have a montage of him hunting the enderman because he will be- no, no, no, no. Before he goes to an enderman. He just dies to- Yeah, he gets murked by an enderman.

Speaker: I wasn't planning on him dying at any point. I wasn't planning on him respawning. Because he's a real boy. um So is the same thing in ReZero. That's what I'm asking. like does he no he doesn't no he doesn't die.

Speaker: he gets beat He can get beat up close to death by an Enderman, but he doesn't die to them. And then like once he's like, get the Enderpearls, you can have a quick little montage of him just like steamrolling some Enderman because he can do that now.

Speaker: And then he goes over and he like, you know, crushes the blaze rods and the blaze powder, touches the blaze powder with the end of pearls and makes ender eyes. And then the villagers like, all right, you have to go where these things will tell you to go.

Speaker: and then you have to defeat a big enemy and then you'll have your crystal to get back to the real world. Yes, Ruthie. Yes. Yes. And then it's um there's not going to be any subtitles.

Speaker: like Steve's just gonna he'll be like ha yes you're right and yes you're right villager i do need to go get this he won't always do that he's like he won't always like just say what the villager said you'll you'll get it from context clues obviously but like for the ender Isaac I guess he can have like a little bit of like yeah you the The village you can explain without subtitles and then it can be a scene later with Steve like walking around with the Ender eyes and be like, okay, so I need to throw these in the air they'll show me where I go where I have to kill that thing to get back to the real world.

Speaker: right So you have a little montage of him finding this the stronghold in the overworld, exploring through that, finding some silverfish, and then getting to the Ender portal, opening it up and jumping in.

Speaker: And then he fights the dragon. end dragon.

Speaker: And we have a... So far your movie is a sausage fest. Your movie is a sausage fest. There's only like one woman character in all Minecraft. Yeah. Alex. The villagers can be... There there can be some female villagers. No, realized as soon as you said i'm my God, it is a sausage fest. What the fuck? There's one... Like the...

Speaker: The villagers are technically non-binary. They're ace also, right? Oh no they do reproduce with two, so like... They do reproduce. It just depends on how many... They're door-sexual. Door-sexual. What do you mean door-sexual? depends how many doors are in the room that they're in Yes. You have to have a specific number of doors in the vicinity before they fuck.

Speaker: Why... right Before they kiss and then a child appears. But you have to have ah the right number of doors and beds. Mostly doors. Mostly doors, yeah. um Anyways.

Speaker: Yeah. i what This is why I don't play the fucking game! It's okay. Anyways, he fights the ender dragon. And then ah when you fight the ender dragon, you get the egg.

Speaker: And then he's like, what the what the hell am I supposed to do with this? And he throws it. And it cracks. And it reveals that. It gave me no nutrients. It cracks.

Speaker: That'd be the best reference in the movie. They gave me no vitamins. They gave me no nutrients. The egg cracks. They gave me a magic power. Oh, my God. I'm trying to talk here. Oh, wow. i wonder what that's like, Ed.

Speaker: Anyways, he throws the egg. The egg cracks and it reveals a little crystal that he has to put the orb in. And then he goes back to... wait how do you even... so Yeah, he goes back to... to the overworld.

Speaker: And he connects the thing. And he's looking at the... At the portal to the real world. And he's like... You know what? Fuck that. And he disconnects the two, puts them on top of the portal, and then turns back into the overworld of Minecraft.

Speaker: Minecraft the movie.

Speaker: But you're going to keep the word fuck in it, even though it's PG. It'll be PG-13. You can have two fucks in a PG-13 movie.

Speaker: They just can't be... two? Yes. Depending... they can't mean They can't be, ah like, sexual. sexual if it's a If it's a fuck in a sexual sense, then that's instantly an R. Even if it's just one.

Speaker: Ruthie goes next. um What I liked about this movie...

Speaker: I always enjoy seeing Jack Black on screen. Jason Momoa is having the time of his life in this role. ah And I don't know, seeing him happy makes me happy.

Speaker: Jennifer Coolidge, God love her. I feel bad that I don't remember her name, but the Black actress also did really good. Honestly, I just didn't like the two kids. Real quick. Boy the least.

Speaker: Real quick. yeah Can you do your Jennifer Coolidge impression again?

Speaker: Well, you can back me up and take me to the curb anytime. It's so good. What the fuck? It's so good. Okay, so you say her impression's good. My fucking Harkonnen impression which one is... The Baron! What's his name?

Speaker: My Arrakis. What's his name? hotman Other Jennifer Coolidge line, best in show. We have a lot in common. We both like soup.

Speaker: yeah I didn't see that. I i didn't hear that line. So the gag is that she's a gold digger. Who's married to a man. Who's like 95 million. yeah And he divorced her. she's like No, no, no, no, no. no no In best in show. She's only married and money because she's dating her dog trainer.

Speaker: Who is played by what's her face in the yoga. Or no, no, no, no. The, the, the lady from Glee. Yeah, she's played by the teacher. in a gym I didn't know Best in Show was ah like ah a thing that she was in.

Speaker: thought you were just saying Best in Show. yes Yeah, yeah it's a good and they're good films. We both like soup.

Speaker: Anyways, um yeah, I enjoyed the actors. um It took me a second, Ed. I also thought the movie was set in the eighty s I thought it was funny when I realized, no, it's just Backwater, Idaho, and Jason Momoa is just stuck in the past.

Speaker: just i wouldn't want to I wouldn't want to live in Idaho either. No, you do not. No, I've never been, but everything tells me about whenever she visits, it's like a place want live in. I've been in Idaho once, and I went to the Silverwood theme park.

Speaker: And I still didn't want to be there. Another another fun fact. I did meet a guy from Idaho in university. And I remember he was from place called Eagle, Idaho.

Speaker: um them Yeah. I know where he And then I remember people saying Boise. And he's like, it's not Boise. It's Boise. Yeah. With an S. Yeah. It's Boise.

Speaker: So I've always said Boise from then on out. And people like... It's Boise. You mean Boise? It's like, no, it's Boise. It's got an S.

Speaker: Yeah, my mom's side of the family is from Boise. Boise. The town actually... The town got its name from French trappers who came to the area, and this was the first time they'd seen trees in forever, so they said, Vosie, look at the trees, and then it became Boise.

Speaker: Vosie. Vosie. heard Vosie. Yeah, so that's why we should call it Boise. Not Boise.

Speaker: Boise. To keep a little bit of the French spirit alive. Even though that's usually a con. The French is too exotic for a Boise. Yeah, I know, but usually anything French is just an inherent negative.

Speaker: that That's yeah yeah the three only negative thing about Expression 33 is it's French. a ga It's French. a again that's the bad thing That's the bad thing about the game. It's French.

Speaker: It's a shit RPG. It's an FRPG. no yeah rpg No, it's just an RPG. It's a JRPG. It's an FRPG. It's French role-playing It's an RPG in the way that Japanese people make RPGs.

Speaker: It's just an RPG. It's turn-based RPG. Story-driven. That's all it is. Is Minecraft an RPG? No, it's not a role-playing game. It's a survival game. Okay, then Ruthie, keep going then.

Speaker: um Most of the movie... they have The kids are like a blank canvas. The boy especially is a Gary Stu... You're not blaming the kid. No, I'm not blaming writing the kid. the script The writing was ass because what they wanted to do was make the boy a blank slate so everybody could feel like they were playing with Steve.

Speaker: But by doing that, it took away all the heart it could have had. i don't know. um So so mayor male equivalent is Gary Stu? Or Gary Sue? Yeah. Yes.

Speaker: gar ste Gary Stu. S-G-U. Because it's Mary Sue, Gary Stu.

Speaker: Got it. ah The piglins... The piglin plot? I mean, yeah, sure, it's a fine MacGuffin thing. Honestly, the writing is just ass.

Speaker: Isn't it? It's hard for me to... It's hard for me to pinpoint specific things of being bad because it's just an overarching. Yeah. That's the, that's the struggle I had too. That's why my likes and dislikes were just so broad, jump like vague and just like fast.

Speaker: Cause it's just. Yeah. Like no one had personalities except for Jason Momoa and Steve. And Jennifer Coolidge.

Speaker: I mean, yeah, Jennifer Coolidge was just there for the vibes, and I'm here for that. She's having her best life. And the paycheck. And the paycheck. Good for her.

Speaker: I brought hot dogs. Legally Blonde, too. Or no, it's, I bet they have hot dogs. Bend and snap. Legally Blonde. She's Ben and Snap!

Speaker: I don't know why forget. i like that It looks every time. like a year or two ago. The Ben and Snap. Oh, I think I put a little too much Snap into it. funny?

Speaker: there's just some She has good timing with a lot of her deliveries yeah of lines. Yeah. How I would fix this movie is give the characters actual personality, like Jason Momoa get and like Steve get.

Speaker: Minecraft, especially Minecraft with other people, everyone's got their own gaming thing. Like, Ed is in it to win it. He's gonna do like all the story shit. He said he could beat it in three hours. I'm not that way. That's exaggeration. That's speed run.

Speaker: Yeah. yeah i'm like i gotta make it pretty need to get the terracotta to burn it to just just do you ever even go to the nether she does i've seen her in the nether do go to the nether and then i instantly die because you have to bring a shield just do what people tell me to do what Talk to fuck about a shield. I don't like cross the crossbow.

Speaker: Oh, Betsy. She gets me through. I just do what people tell me to do. Yeah. And hope for the best. Sometimes I'll get, I'll troll a little, but not by much. Yeah. But like different people play for different things.

Speaker: I also do the thing like the, again, I feel really bad. I don't remember any of the characters names. The black lady. I also like the black lady. She had like an affinity for the animals. Cause she had the petting zoo in her car.

Speaker: um I would have her just be an animal collector type. Like, she's getting the llamas together, she's getting the carpet on them, she's getting them set up with the rope, and maybe she'll get a camel. I don't know.

Speaker: Let them play to their strengths. And the parrots. Kids a builder. And the cats. Jason Momoa. What? She can go get the birds and the cats in the game also. Yes.

Speaker: um I'm just, like, listing useful things she can grab. The cats are also useful because they get rid of creepers. Oh yeah, cats scare creepers, right? Yeah.

Speaker: I didn't know this. yeah With my 10 sessions in the game, I don't know how I didn't know this. It's kind of hard to get the cats. I didn't know there were cats. They're in the desert? or near the jungle bile Jungle.

Speaker: Although now they also spawn in villages as house cats. That makes sense. I expected villages in the first place. We have to tame- before you had to tame them from ocelots.

Speaker: Anyways! There's fucking ocelots in the game? Those are just the wildcats. They're ocelots. They're called ocelots. Yes. Black lady, she collects animals. Jason Momoa is the speedrun combat guy.

Speaker: i would say the sister, she feels like ah like an optimizer. Like, the sister- She feels like the kind of person who just like optimizes everything.

Speaker: in Wrath of the Godkin, mo one of my co-players- Do you to explain what Wrath the Godkin is? In the weekly D&D game I do with friends, ah we have ah another player called Owlbear. Owlbear is the optimizer that I know.

Speaker: um They taught me ah really efficient farming method. They also taught me the supreme way to breed villagers. What's the sigors? A lot of doors and a lot of bread. Bread?

Speaker: Bread? You have to feed them bread and then they'll kiss and pop out a small villager.

Speaker: Well, again, you have to make sure they have beds and doors. So, yeah. They taught me the secret trick is that you go underneath the village and you just put a shit ton of doors down there so that there's enough doors in the area, but then you get don't get the annoying door noise.

Speaker: Because there's doors on every tile in like 6x6 grid. And if somebody gets down there, then you just hear da-ting, da-ting, da-ting. Just drives you crazy. Yeah.

Speaker: But yeah, um Sister's the Optimizer. Kid, I guess he's the crafter type. He can be a lot more like a mini Steve, so kids can still feel like, I'm Minecrafting with Steve. Minecraft Steve.

Speaker: um Okay, another like, I liked Dennis. What a good boy. The dog. Took me a second to remember. Yeah. That bit with the dog was actually funny. Like him, like...

Speaker: ah Jack Black throwing, catching it with his mouth and then throwing it back. That was stupid. I hate how much I laugh. stupid i It was stupid. It was 100% stupid, but I was still chuckling.

Speaker: It was at least an entertaining stupid. Yeah, exactly. i had a good time. I like that bit. um But yeah, I would have them kind of act like more real Minecraft players.

Speaker: Instead of just bumbling through everything.

Speaker: You know, the boy can be the structure builder. Yeah. And then Steve is like the... Hey, I already crafted you this. Yeah, he's just like, i already crafted all the tools. Yeah, that makes sense if he's a better structure builder and then Steve is the guy who's good crafting every other item.

Speaker: That's good. and Oh, another dislike that Hector and I made comments of, in the beginning of the movie, the kid is bullied because he makes a rocket that explodes.

Speaker: And I can't think of a worse reason... For a kid to get bullied? Like, no. He would win all sorts of kid awards for building not only a rocket, but a rocket that went off and exploded a local legend. Like, a local hotspot.

Speaker: Yeah, as soon as- He would be immortalized. As soon as he was, like, halfway to building the rocket, I'm sure, like, every kid would just be like, I'm not gonna, like, oh, that's actually cool.

Speaker: Like, he's not just talking shit. Yeah, I don't know. That was dumb. um I don't know what I would fix about the plot, but I feel like... I feel like you just changing the characters yeah to make it more entertaining would be enough.

Speaker: You don't need, like, a... It's Minecraft. I'm sorry. Ed was moving back up, and then it froze, and it looked like he was a fucking cryptid. It And it was the funniest shit. I had to almost... It's like everything I had not to burst out loud laughing.

Speaker: cryptid? What's a cryptid? You don't know what that is? Bigfoot? Oh, okay. Oh, like those kind of things. Wait, when i when I was like moving back like this? No, you were kind of like hunched over and turning back.

Speaker: oh Oh, like... like Okay, okay. You can't replicate it. Trust me. You can't replicate I'm just wondering when it happened. But your camera froze and it was the funniest shit. I almost burst out laughing.

Speaker: But yeah.

Speaker: that's my Both of you are really creative. I really didn't. I didn't take any notes. I mean, the fact that you fixed the movie by actually not i like sleep following the rules in a sense, borderline, good.

Speaker: i just made a different movie. Yeah, you just made like a borderline documentary. they Like you can do a documentary. A Minecraft documentary?

Speaker: a mockumentary of Minecraft with chat with Steve narrating? Instead of Planet Earth?

Speaker: Oh my god. actually... I've actually seen something very similar. There's a guy on YouTube. He made a Breath of the Wild Bokoblin documentary. So he wore the Bokoblin hat.

Speaker: And he just had... He had Link live among the Bokoblins. And then he was doing like the David Attenborough. Oh, I've seen bits of that. That's really funny. It's on amazing. It's really good. Especially since Nintendo did the work and gave the bokoblins way too much animation and little shits. Yeah, my mine would be a documentary, but all I wanted was more Minecraft music and also pure Minecraft music.

Speaker: Because the one song that they did wasn't... It was was like a remix. It was like orchestral and stuff, which is fine, but I like the the more digital sounding beep, beep, beep, shit.

Speaker: Do you understand my pain now with the Sonic movies? oh is that is that is that a complaint for your sonic movies the music is every movie i'm like they need more sonic music it feels but the third one you said it did i think the third one was good they held out on live and learn that's all i said they did it better i wish there was more music i know they took the third one they touched on a little more did they mess with the songs also like in this one Did they change it? or was ah Live and Learn, they gave it up more of like an orchestra rock mix, which was cool. but like Like a rock opera kind of Yeah, they kind of gave it that feeling.

Speaker: But like... ah Yeah, I don't know. That was it. I mean, just a... I don't know. Anyway, I'm here to talk about Minecraft. A thing I barely know about, and I'm starting to...

Speaker: Why did I pick this goddamn film? Why? Yeah, that's a good... I don't know. Just speak with authority from your full chest. The white boy method. I do the white boy method, I can't say... i Then I have to say the N-word, Ruthie.

Speaker: Every white boy format says N-word. Holy moly.

Speaker: It's just the C-word. C-L-word now.

Speaker: Throw them for AI, yes. I'm just making a joke. Alright. I've heard white boys say the white the N-word in Call of Duty. I showed you the the the codex, right?

Speaker: I showed you the codex, right? Yes. Oh, yeah, I think so. Anyway. My likes. Slime Cube! that was i don't know why that one actually was funny.

Speaker: I think I was hating all of it, but Slime Cube was such a weird one. I think I genuinely liked the, uh, sleeping, whatever. I think I liked the first bit before they were in Minecraft.

Speaker: Like, all the real world shit, it felt like Napoleon Dynamite. And it it had, like, Napoleon Dynamite Nacho Libre thing of, like, they all have these problems and they're kind of just stuck in them because they can't physically go anywhere to get away from, right? Right.

Speaker: And like, I don't know. i feel like that was like, this movie's been rewritten. This movie's been worked on for like a decade at least. Like at one point, Rob Mack from It's Always Sunny was in the film.

Speaker: This movie was worked on for 10, 12 years, had many different writers. Mack from It's Always Sunny was working on it for a while. he was like, because we went back and forth like five different writing teams. There's a lot of writers because they had to keep little bits of stuff that everyone written from previous drafts.

Speaker: Mack? Mac from It's Always Sunny was going to be an executive producer and writer in the film. Oh. I don't think it would have worked. I think so. Yeah, I don't think he's got the comedy.

Speaker: Well, that kind of comedy. He's got the... He doesn't have that kind of comedy. Yeah, that's what I mean. So... think this is turning off a paper bag. so No, you're fine.

Speaker: So... The part where it's just, like, them dealing with their problems and they can't escape anywhere because it's such a small town or such a small area. I feel like it's the Noctual Libre writers and directors. I forget his name.

Speaker: I feel like that's his best strength. But yeah, just, like, they have to create all these issues. They have all these issues. They can't get out. I feel like this is, like, Noctual Libre trying to save the orphanage and being awkward.

Speaker: Mm-hmm. Napoleon just trying to fucking be cool. Like, i don't know. It works. I think that's his best writing. And then the fact that they have to go to Minecraft. I'm giving this movie way too much care.

Speaker: it The fact they have to go to Minecraft, world the overworld, and then they get ah everything just kind of pauses kind of sucks. Like, they don't have to deal with the consequences of their actions because they're easy kites somewhere else.

Speaker: That's kind of the beauty of Minecraft, though. It is, but it doesn't make a compelling story. Like, I don't care about these characters' journeys anymore because it doesn't matter. They're in this world. All that fun stuff is just gone.

Speaker: Like, a lot of better plot points are gone now. don't know.

Speaker: Uh...

Speaker: The designs of the Minecraft creatures were really cool. it kind of looked like so Detective Pikachu and Semi-Hot Take. I like the Detective Pikachu designs for the Pokemon. I mean, I like them, but i yeah, I think Minecraft should have been animated movie. No, 100%. Like an actually fully animated... 100%.

Speaker: But like, for what they did, it wasn't bad. Like, it looked like the Detective Pikachu, which is a movie I still first id still hold dear in my heart. It was a remnant of a better time.

Speaker: um I like Jason Momoa's character. Don't remember the name, but like, dude was fucking hilarious. i Jason Momoa's got comedy chops, doesn't get the show off that much. Fucking great.

Speaker: I'm also glad kids are enjoying this. I saw this video popped up of like a bunch of kids at like a water park during like a Minecraft movie night. And they're all singing along to Lava Chicken. I'm like, this is for that like this is for them.

Speaker: It's fine. like It's good for them. I'm i'm happy for them. like I don't hate the idea of the movie. I just wish... the I feel like the kids... It's just so...

Speaker: I feel so soulless. I said this. Chicken jockey. Yeah, so chicken jockey. No, I legitimately wrote this down my dislikes. i like The reason i picked this movie, I legitimately wondered if it was as soulless and corporate as people were saying, and outside the first bit, yeah, it fucking was.

Speaker: And I don't know why it bothers me. Because Minecraft is it's an open sandbox that is so anti-corporate, it's antithetical to Minecraft. That's probably it.

Speaker: It's about being creative and creation and all that. And this movie's just derivative as fuck. Yeah, it wasn't creative. Like, you have a literal sandbox. Just try something weird. Don't make a budget this big.

Speaker: Like, you can just make a smaller budget. You can just... Ah... fuck happened to jack i'm crashing out what happened to jack black i don't know his direction he was given he was just cashing in the check i just i don't know it just felt i think i think he was cashing in the check on this one probably but like honestly most i i i also thought jason ramo was cashing in the check but now that you guys mentioned that he was probably having a lot of fun i do i do see that he probably yeah a lot Like, I'm sure, like, he does so much serious shit outside of Aquaman.

Speaker: Like, this just seems like a silly little, like, fun little side quest. Like, fine. That's cool. Um...

Speaker: Well, yeah, it's probably he was having a really great time because he was allowed to eat and drink whatever the fuck he wanted. Yeah. And, like, the fucking Tater Top Bonder Puzz. It's just, like, there's so much shit.

Speaker: You're just making a nod. Are you are making a nod to mods? Are you just wanting to be Pixel Gun? Which is a game my brother used to play on his fucking iPad when he was like, seven or eight. Like, I don't...

Speaker: I don't even like Minecraft. Why am I crashing out over this? Like, we've had good movies this year. I'm not like being like, oh, it's the state of Hollywood or whatever. right don't know.

Speaker: so but anything, I'm the, it's the state of Hollywood. I, we've had, this has been the year of original movies. Like, was like fucking sinners. Mickey 17. Mickey 17 is based off a book.

Speaker: Uh, that one was a flop too. Together? Together. That one might have been plagiarized. ah Weapons? Weapons is original! Yes!

Speaker: you Together the there might have been plagiarized? Huh? There's rumors that Allison Brie and her husband took the plot from somebody else. Down to like, ah it's a weird, and I can so look up the article later. Everyone should just look up an article or two about it. I can't explain it well.

Speaker: And the story of keeps updating. I'm just leaving it be. um Friendship. Huh? Friendship was a fucking great film. that I'm not going to recommend this film.

Speaker: Huh? Death of a Unicorn? Death of Unicorn I heard was okay. i think it Was that on late last year? I heard it was i heard it was ah very weak A24 film. Yeah. but like oh ah Bring Her Back also? We're getting that movie this year, If I Had Legs, I'd Kick You, which is ah which is oh yeah which is that true Conan O'Brien is a fucking burnt-out bad therapist, so like I'm just going to quit school now and just watch that until I get it, right?

Speaker: Yeah. Good plan. Thank you. But yeah, point being, though, like I don't know. There's good films this year. Maybe it just feels like it's a fucking backwards... I think the worst part is...

Speaker: I'm hoping the sequel's better, but I think now they're like, we don't have to try it. Fucking broke a billion.

Speaker: Like, I'm worried they're gonna learn the wrong lessons from this. Oh, you know they are I know they are. i don't know. Because they saw how successful Mario was.

Speaker: just Mario fucking... Mario's the key to all this shit. God, you're right. I didn't even consider that. God, Mario was a fucking mistake. ah The movie, not the video games. I love the video games, but the movie was a fucking mistake.

Speaker: You gave Nintendo so much money and I hate it. Yeah. um No. God. i i i I'll be honest. i I made this today. I wrote my fixes today. hi i forgot.

Speaker: um There's no... shoot I didn't know where to take this either. What?

Speaker: Ditto. Yeah, we all did. This isn't us like burning out on the podcast, everyone. It's just this movie gave us not a lot to work with. ye Yeah.

Speaker: Okay. I honestly think... Just a quick tangent on that point. I honestly think this is the first movie where it's just like so...

Speaker: like so unlike imaginative, uncreative, unfun and just like bland that like they're,

Speaker: there isn't even anything in the movie to like use as, as a jumping pad. Like we do with a lot of other movies. We're like, Oh, this movie sucked, but I really like this aspect.

Speaker: So going to lean into this really hard. That was me with monster Hunter. Yeah. I know there that, that doesn't exist. can't make a Minecraft movie with Jennifer Coolidge impressions. I could try. You get closer than they probably did. Let's be real. and just um just saying, like this is the first movie where there isn't a jumping pad for us to really lin lean into. Ad Astra.

Speaker: No, I remember that we struggled with Ad Astra, but we came up with something. Yeah. No, I came up with something, but i had to use the wider internet. You'll see what i mean. that That movie is, yeah, divisive, and i will say not great.

Speaker: ah my opinions have changed. it is it is It is a bag of a lot of nothing, but I still appreciate what it did. I think after all the Brad Pitt shit that came out, i kind of it also really soured me on that movie.

Speaker: howard I and like how it approached the characters. Anyways, this is a movie that like is just hard to do because we're not actual real filmmakers yet. mean... I mean...

Speaker: i mean I mean... mean... You literally won an award...

Speaker: Yes, we we won an award. Mainly you. Mainly you and ah everyone else in charge. No, we won an award. wait We worked on the film together. The Dodges have a film festival. Those were film festival.

Speaker: Second year. Second year. Yeah, we we will we already we already mentioned this. Did we? That we got second place? We did. Oh, we did, we did, yeah. Okay. And again, it's we.

Speaker: I will not be one of those directors that does not appreciate the cast and crew no matter how. appreciate that. That's very sweet. Little they put into the film. Even though I woman-splained to you on set.

Speaker: Wait, what? Oh, yeah. Thanks. Sorry. No, like, no no no no, no, no, no. I appreciate all of that. Because even a Hunter was like, I don't like this. And i'm like, okay, what do you what do you think is better? He's like, this. I'm like, alright, let's do that.

Speaker: Okay. Alright. My fixes. yeah Yes. There's no human world izakai bullshit. Yes. No izakai? No izakai.

Speaker: I found a way to make it work. I found a way to make it work. Ed's creaming. So yeah. He's gooning right now. He's profan. it's He's profan! I'll send you the meme later. I'll send you the meme later. It's a very... anyone listens to this year's online, there's gonna be like three people who are like, oh my god, the profan meme was hilarious.

Speaker: Hawk Tua? No, I'll explain. how Remove that. remov I'm not removing that. That's gonna be the cold open baby. day We're gonna boost the Hawk Tua from him. Hawk Tua.

Speaker: Okay, so young Steve and his twin brother, Evettes, were born to a family of villagers, but they were always... I didn't realize where Evettes came from. Evettes?

Speaker: It's a Steve backwards...

Speaker: Yeah, i know, I know, I know. It's really annoyed. He's giving a smile. It's better. He's giving a smile, but it's like his eyes are dead inside, you guys. Anywho. sure Yeah, her name could be Eva, but they just call her... No, it's his twin brother.

Speaker: His twin brother. brother Oh. eva They can still call him Eve. No, that'd be funny. No, no. So, he and a few friends know how to build and do amazing stuff in the world.

Speaker: Eve, though, always feels left with fine, so he offers to make a game of speedrunner versus hunters. It's a real challenge in the Minecraft community. I've looked this up. If anyone knows what Dream SMP is, they used to play that game all the time.

Speaker: So, the way it works is the speedrunner is running away, and the hunters have to catch the speedrunner. But there's sometimes rules, like you can't use bows or you can't use certain weapons, whatever.

Speaker: Everything is fair game. I know where got this from. Huh? This is Hollow Knight bullshit. Oh yeah! no The Hollow Knight stuff came from, the Hollow Knight mods in the game play from ah The Hunters vs. the Speedrunner. That came from the Minecraft thing.

Speaker: It came from the Minecraft thing? Minecraft thing's a lot older than... Why am I forgetting the speedrunner, Hollow Knight speedrunner's name? I know the one you're talking about. Cool dude. Mossbag? Not Mossbag. It's the lore guy. It's not Mossbag. It's the blue guy. Fireborn? fire born No.

Speaker: He's like blue or something. no Anyway. Not important. It's gonna bother me. Hollow Knight speedrunner.

Speaker: Ed, stop shoving you It's Fireborn. I was right. I was right. Ed's showing his Evo shirt. He got an Evo. He doesn't want to tell us why he got it at Evo.

Speaker: In public. Yeah, it's Fireborn. It's Fireborn. So, Evets always feels like... back So, it's a real it's a real thing. So, Evets is the speedrunner, but he secretly made traps ahead of them.

Speaker: All of them. Just that they die in. I'm talking like pits of spiders and creepers, loose ah dynamite, loose sand that they fall into the lava, whole nine yards, right?

Speaker: Oh, the lava's diabolical. Yeah. I going to say a pit with lava. But the pit with lava, that's dirty because you lose all your- Exactly. So the pit of lava- So it turns- But then they start narrowing down. There's less and less. It turns to a demented escape house.

Speaker: He wants to prove he's the smart one. So it's him and like one other dude. Um. But then they take out- Then Steve kicks Evitz or hits Evitz like a bang with his arm into the lava.

Speaker: But instead of falling, instead of dying, Evitz comes out with burning hatred, eyes glowing, and he says he's the bane of the heroes. The hero bane. But they hear Herobrine, they make fun of him, say that's his name. if it Oh my god, I hate you.

Speaker: So for those who don't know, Herobrine was a creepypasta.

Speaker: It's a creepypasta on the internet. It was a creepypasta and then it would it took off at the Yogg's cast. Exactly. So him and Steve fight for about two hours because Herobrine drinks a potion of flying and Steve has an Electra. Real-time hours? Huh?

Speaker: Real time hours? yeah I was thinking no, but yes. Real time hours. It's a two hour. five hour long movie. yeah it's a man i mean The first bit could be like 30 minutes. So you just need to pat it out. It's like fucking Dragon Ball. It's like Super Broly.

Speaker: where it's the first 30 minutes of the story, and then the last hour and a half is just fucking fighting, and it's the best part of the movie. Like, non-stop fights. Anyway, it is I recommend Super Broly if no one's seen it. Even if you don't watch much Dragon Ball, you stop to see, it explains everything.

Speaker: Fucking phenomenal, like, bit of action. We're not ever getting a movie like that again. so Until they finally decide to do Super Cooler.

Speaker: I don't think they're going to do anything. that The Dragon Ball stuff... Or Super Janemba. Dragon Ball's in a weird hiatus slash cop rights feud because two different companies own different rights between the manga and the anime.

Speaker: So it's confusing, right? And Toriyama... Because... Because daddy... Because the great hero Toriyama died. Yeah, he held... Daddy's gone. So anyway, Man of Steel don't want to think about that.

Speaker: I've had a long day. it Man of Steel fight... Hero Brine dies and loses his stuff? It's like a... and But then he just comes back to respawn he's just normal. Mm-hmm. He's like, okay, i learned my lesson. Kind of like Scott Pilgrim.

Speaker: Crash out, Don. Yeah, like Scott Pilgrim. you know you They ask the creator what happens when they beat he beats the enemies. And it's just like they just pop back up after a game over and they just learn their lesson. So that's how it is.

Speaker: That's so funny that the creat the creator or the writer said that. Yeah, he said it before. They just respawn and like they learn their lesson. yeah Yeah, that's it. I don't have much. It was just, I didn't I don't know.

Speaker: just Just play Hollow Knight, you guys. Instead of watching this movie, just play Hollow Knight. really good game. Play Hollow Knight. SoSan's coming out, hopefully, at some point this year. I'm surprised you guys are saying play Hollow Knight and not just play Minecraft. Nah, just play. Everyone already owns Minecraft. Just play Hollow Knight instead. Play Hollow Knight.

Speaker: It's indie devs. Actual indie devs now. Mojang's still not indie anymore. Not anymore. I mean, it's good for them that they're not indie. Like, I'm not shitting on them for it, but, like, Team Sherry's, like, four people. I mean, they they they, like, Notch is a billionaire because of... but Yeah, but he's also kicked out the company because he went out full QAnon alt-right.

Speaker: Yeah, he's super anti-Semitic. He sold the company before that. Yeah, that's yeah that's so that's what led to it. He used to be very progressive and shit, and then...

Speaker: Wait, he's anti-Semitic? Yes. You know why villagers have... Yeah, a lot of the villagers... Oh my god! Yeah.

Speaker: yeah he yeah Too bad they're iconic looking now. yeah ah well yeah um Oh yeah, because there's... Oh my god. Yeah, there's more to it, but I don't want to bring that up here. and There's more to it. I've looked into it. yeah they I got a deep Tumblr deep dive on it once.

Speaker: But yeah, play Hollow Knight. The devs are chads. They're fucking... they're fucking They have, there's a couple queer characters in the game. It's great. Also, main character is non-binary.

Speaker: Yeah. Main character is non-binary. Yeah. well Well, are they or are they agender? Agender.

Speaker: Yeah. They're not, they're not, the the the bug you play as isn't

Speaker: really a person yeah they're a gender no you can make an argument depending on what happens the ending that they're ah they become a person over time no we can talk about this later or we can do side episode of there all night lord yeah okay you know sometimes when day hol or i love that i don't i just don't think he qualifies as like they they the care a kid they i they don't think they qualify as like A character? Yeah, know. They're vessel.

Speaker: They're character. They're a vessel. Anyway. So. But yeah. It's... We're just giving this movie an F, right? Fingers is asleep.

Speaker: Let sleep. Not an F minus, just an F. How would you rate the movie?

Speaker: Speak. So, what would you recommend this week? there anything you've watched, read, whatever to recommend it people? Ruthie has her hand up. I have two. Um, so I saw my second and third favorite movies of the year this month. Well, in the last 30 days.

Speaker: Uh, so we watched Superman. ah man, that's such a good move. Like, my quintessential Superman was Justice League. And then I was like, wow, my adventures with Superman is really good.

Speaker: And I swear, I'm not trying to be like, my favorite Superman is the last one I watched. But like, holy police shit. The David Kornsweat, James Gunn, Superman.

Speaker: Yeah, this is the most definitive version of the character. of Lex, right? understood. like Of Superman. Lex also did really good. He stole the show.

Speaker: Nicholas Holt stole the show for me. That's fair. I think David Cornswet's sincerity... Did you see the clip of him and James Gunn arguing over like yeah about the pivotal scene? the big when the final The confrontation between Superman and Lex.

Speaker: The what? so Did you see the behind-the-scenes scene of James Gunn and David Cornswet arguing about the interpretation of the final confrontation between Superman and Lex?

Speaker: was's not comfortable' argument but yeah It was like a really strong like, I don't think this is right. Why did you do write it like this? And he's like, well, this is what I'm going for. And then Cornswit's like, oh, okay, I see. And then he tried to walk off so he could quickly say the line with the motivation. oh It was so good.

Speaker: yeah court It was really good. yes Yeah. ja Also, Cornswit's the biggest fucking Star Wars fan. He's a nerd, yeah. yes Biggest Star Wars fan I've ever... Supposedly he could quote almost entire the entire trilogy at one point verbatim.

Speaker: Mm-hmm. um My next recommendation is on Monday we saw Naked Gun. Did you see the original one before? Yes!

Speaker: I haven't seen the original. it's really You're missing out. The the original is a treat. This one's really close to the same energy. yeah It doesn't quite hit it, but like it tunes into the frequency.

Speaker: I feel like it's as close as we're going to get. Yeah. there's the My biggest complaint was there needed be a bit more a few more background gags. Yeah, in the in the original version, it was like, you know how in Airplane there was like three jokes on screen at a time?

Speaker: The Naked Gun is a lot like that. The remake starts with like three jokes on screen and then it kind of mostly focuses on... It funnels down to like one at a time.

Speaker: Which is fine. It's not But yeah. I gave it a 4 out of 5 on Letterboxd. It was pretty close. Yeah. Alright. Ed, what are yours? You seem like you're about to scream. Yes.

Speaker: Expedition 33 is the best game ever made. Wow. 10 out of 10.

Speaker: It's the best game ever made. I don't think there's anything they can do from this point forward to make me think otherwise. This is the best game of the decade. Best game of the of all time.

Speaker: Ed, can I make a prediction? With where you're at in the story, I think you haven't even met your waifu yet.

Speaker: But it's loony. bo I don't think it's Lunay. You fucking picked the other yeah Because of Verso, I'm not self-inserting myself as Verso.

Speaker: And I explained my reasoning. I think you're going to meet your waifu and you're just going to text me, I'm gooning right now. You're gooning in the O's. There's no, like, there's... just My NADPOD has no one I'm referencing.

Speaker: ah

Speaker: I don't know. Did I fucking stutter? No, you haven't met them anyways. I said you haven't met. Okay. and Do you have any other one? no Do you have any? I'd be very alarmed was the paintress.

Speaker: Uh, is there any other, anything else you want to recommend? Exposition 3 is the best game ever made. And, um, I saw something recently and I don't remember.

Speaker: but know. Go watch Together before it's out of theaters. How was it? I haven't seen it yet.

Speaker: You're not going to say weapons? I haven't seen weapons either yet. haven't seen weapons? I'm planning to watch them both the this weekend. ah Together's more on a time crunch because that's leaving theaters.

Speaker: Yeah, neon movies don't tend to last long unless they're parasites. Oh yeah! That's what it is. Get out there and watch Shelby Oaks when it does a wide release October 3rd nationally in the United States.

Speaker: i ah That is the movie by Chris Stuckman, Get Stuckmanized. Movie reviewer on YouTube. I kickstarted the project, so I'm going to be getting a Blu-ray and a poster.

Speaker: And I'm going to be going over to Ed's place to watch it. There's a trailer out right now. You should go watch it. Trigger warning for the first like 30 seconds. Yes. ah If you don't like ah guns.

Speaker: Just say leave it there. Yeah. Don't want your trailer and watch trailer. watch the trailer.

Speaker: but all right it like I was expecting when I saw the trailer, it looked more like indie, but it looks really good. Yeah, it does. And Mike Flanagan is involved, which is as an, I think, I think is an executive producer, yeah which is sick, nasty, nasty,

Speaker: disgusting gross I'm gonna love this movie yeah I know and early reviews are already out from the festivals they've gone to and they've changed it since the festivals what they've changed it since the festivals that was before the since the festivals people were like go it's go It's good.

Speaker: It's good. Yeah, and then they reshot it to add more stuff because they gave it more of a budget. So it'll probably Neon's like, i we like you, Chris Stuckman. We consider us Stuckmanized.

Speaker: That's what Neon said to them. Get the fuck out of here, Ed. Well, you're going to get Stuckmanized when you go watch the movie in theaters. I've watched his reviews for years. Get Stuckbugged. Get Stuckmanized.

Speaker: so is that like a thing is this fetch no it is definitely no that's what he says at the end of the and end of the fucking like reviews he's like and ah click down to see more and get stuck buts yeah no it's like a fetch thing no it was at first he made it happen wait who said the fetch thing

Speaker: There was somebody that did fetch. Fetched. I don't know. Was it in the movie Minecraft? Was it in this movie? No. Someone used fetch.

Speaker: Probably a different movie recently. Anyways. The thing is, I can't remember the last movie I saw other than this one. ah It might have been Superman. Yeah, I think it was Superman.

Speaker: Hmm. Right, because of that one of Jimmy's ex. Oh, yeah. she They made a reference to Mean Girls with her. That was probably it. Yeah.

Speaker: Mutant toes. I wish we got to see her toes just for that line. i was like, what does it look like? My what lovely feet you have. My what lovely feet. ah wa but wow ah That is the funniest line he has. Whoa, whoa. Minoko's the best character in the game. Wait, what about, not now, son, i have to go beat up these strangers.

Speaker: That's right. There will be a lot of fighting. There's only a lot of fighting. Yeah. Alright, I'm in. Alright, I'm in. um Minoko's the best character in the game. Fight me.

Speaker: um But Mayel's so cute. Monoko Verso. That's the only... That's the OTP. Yeah, they're the OTP. SGA 2.

Speaker: Yes. Alright. My Before the Turnstone Next Edition 33 podcast, which, man, we should do an episode on. Because they're making a film adaptation. They're making a film adaptation where you just play Get Speculation.

Speaker: Yeah. But Ed has to beat the fucking game first. Yeah. I'm about to beat the game a second time, dude. And she's been playing Death Stranding 2, which I'm surprised it didn't fucking... Yeah, Death Stranding 2, lot of fun. Okay, you get three because it's your birth month.

Speaker: and Walking Simulator. Amazon Delivery Simulator.

Speaker: Speaking of walking simulators, not really walking simulator, I just wanted to say similar vibes of exploration. I played Sable, and like, it's a little indie game. I see that.

Speaker: It's a really... I was like, okay, people say it's a cute little indie darling. Let me play it. i After like the tutorial, I was fucking hooked for like a while. I blinked, and that four hours passed.

Speaker: Yeah. Dude, that happened with Expedition 33 for me. Yeah. Same with Expedition. But, like, this was one I wasn't expecting, so it was kind of like a sucker punch, you know? Yeah.

Speaker: I just remember, like, booting up Expedition 33. There some... And then, like, and then it's, like, 9 in the morning, and then I look up at the game, then I look back at the time, and it's, like, 6 p.m., like, damn. And you'd already cried. I'm like, I'm like, damn, I forgot to eat two meals.

Speaker: Ha ha ha ha

Speaker: um i don't ruthie got all the movies i wanted to do sorry don't be it's fine uh don't be don't be sorry don't be don't be sorry um speaking game i guess i'm just in a gaming mood uh fucking elden ring night rain is hooking me back in there's this they did the fucking libra fight the extent overall yeah but with npc fights and it's dumb oh fucking never mind museo holy shit you guys should watch museo it's a fucking it's a film from like 2019 or 2018 it's a mexican film based off a true story where two dudes broke into mexico city's like i think it was anthropology museum they have all these ancient relics and they stole 140 irl

Speaker: irl

Speaker: And one is still at large. One of them is still at large. It is a fucking incredible movie. Like, I don't want to say anything. yeah it's ah it's It's a heist film. I don't want to say anything. Going in blind.

Speaker: All I was told when the movie when my cinephile co-worker told me about it was like... Okay, so here's the thing, guys. I recommend pes movies to people. No one ever takes them up. That's fair. Whatever.

Speaker: This dude, I was like, what's your favorite movie? like, I like In the Mood for Love. It's my favorites. He said, oh yeah, I just In the Mood for Love. I had plants that night. I put aside those plants. I watched Museo because he recommended to me because he watched In the Mood We have date and ditched me.

Speaker: We were not supposed have a date night. You fucking liar. I'm trying to give you story. Stir in the pot. She's turned to the pot to make me look bad. I already look bad enough this episode.

Speaker: Biggis isn't even- Biggis is using me as a fucking scratching pad. That's how bad I look this episode. God damn it, he just cracks my legs. oh But he's so adorable. Look at

Speaker: He's a little black tabby.

Speaker: He's biting Ruthie.

Speaker: But yeah, Musil. Guys, just watch it. It's not the movie you think it is, but it's pretty fucking good. It's not like Ocean's Eleven? there's No, it's a very much different. There's no like a you son of a bitch I'm in kind shit going on? No, it's a very much a they already have the heist planned when the movie starts.

Speaker: I'll say that much. um Oh! I know what movie I watch that I want to talk about, but if you finish your thought. um no no that's it I'm just saying it's just a great film. And I think you guys should watch it as blind as you can.

Speaker: ah It's mostly in Spanish. So heads up. But yeah, great film. yeah So i I watched on a whim. Because I was watching some YouTube videos on stuff.

Speaker: And I watched on a whim movie called Elephant.

Speaker: 2003 it is about the Columbine school shooting so trigger warning there about that um although it is and very interestingly shot movie because it follows like I think it's like eight total people, two of them being the the shooters.

Speaker: But the other people, it just shows their point of view on the 10 minutes leading up to the shooting. When you go to the to the the kids that did this, it it follows them for the two days leading two days leading up to the shooting.

Speaker: And it's very interestingly shot. It is very... it doesn't glorify anything of it. it is it doesn't really have that much of a plot.

Speaker: It's just a movie showing the event. It's like Dunkirk, I would say. And I recommend it just so you have, like, a sense of, like, just how fucking horrible that is to happen to anybody.

Speaker: And how just, like, it's... it's I feel that it's even sensentialized right now. Like, when it shouldn't even be, like, it's just rough and it's a really good movie. And, yeah, you have... I feel like you have to have...

Speaker: You have to be prepared to see the shit that goes down. Yeah. That tracks. Yeah. Anyways, Ruthie, what's happening next week?

Speaker: Or next time we record? Next episode. bing Next episode. We are watching War of the Worlds. For our 100... Thank you for the brought drum roll, Bengus. Please stop.

Speaker: 100th. 100

Speaker: Rick and Morty forever. ah and Morty 100 years. no our 100th episode. we are watching the 2025 War of the Worlds adaptation, which. ah Oh, we're watching the 25. Yeah, we're watching the the one that just came out with Ice Cube.

Speaker: Oh no. You thought we were doing the radio broadcast? From 38? No, the one with Tom Cruise. No, we're watching the shitty one with- The with Cruise that is kind of bad also. No, we're watching the shitty one where they try and explain why they need to send an Amazon drone to the goddamn Pentagon.

Speaker: It's searching but bad. Oh, it's all a computer screen. But you see Ice Cube's face the whole time. It's searching but bad. Also, they caught videos of real life tragedies and Photoshop aliens in them.

Speaker: oh like, like, uh, like forest fires, plane crashes. The creator did that. The creator did that. weird the they they They took a clip of some innocent bystander, like,

Speaker: catching a shockwave of a blast and somewhere in the Middle East. And then they they took that clip and they put futuristic shit on it. And then they put that in the trailer. It wasn't in the movie.

Speaker: So, cool, but like, still stop doing that. Make your own scene. Be creative. We're in the creative industry, please.

Speaker: If Marvel can do like all that and a bag of chips.

Speaker: And a bag of chips. Join us for War of the Worlds and celebrating 100 episodes of Reshoot, an amateur's guide to gooder film. 100 years reshoot! Yep, we're going to do this until we die. Reshoot forever! Reshoot forever! Alright, goodbye.

Speaker: Goodbye, and Hector's not here, so goodbye for him too. Yeah. He left. should actually Today's film was a Minecraft movie directed by Jared Hess. The film was written by Chris Bowman, Hubble Palmer, Neil Widener, Gavin James, and and Chris Goleta.

Speaker: And the cinematographer was Enrique Chidek. Go show some love to their various social media accounts. They made a movie, which is more than we can say here. And a shout out to our secret guests, Bingus and Mango.

Speaker: We tried really hard to edit out their mayhem, but I think some has managed to stay in. So I hope you enjoyed the kitty bloopers. See you soon for War of the Worlds.