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Break Na Tayo! A Valentine's Day Special (ft. Alec)
151 Plays1 year ago
"Kwento ko to eh, syempre toxic ka talaga dito."
Charizzz. In this episode, sinamahan kami ng aming Leo friend na si Alec, where he shares his realizations on healthy and unhealthy relationships, breakups, coping mechanisms, and of course, moving on and moving forward.Dahil araw naman ng mga puso at madaming masaya mga bwakananginang shit kayo (hala nagwala hahaha), pagbigyan nyo na kami (at ang mga sarili nyo) na mag reflect sa mga relationships, Bahala nang mag break ang mag break! WALANG SASAYA SA PAMAMAHAY NA TO! BWAHAHAHAHAHA chzDeh, kidding aside, dami naming natutunan sa episode na to. Napag reflect kami (as usual) at pinaalala nanaman samin na, ang Toxic ay sinasayaw lamang, hindi inuugali.We hope you enjoy this episode!
Bilhan mo na yung toxic ex mo ng BlendJet! Pumunta sa zen.ai/isthisthingon12 para maka 12% discount sa checkout!
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Transcript
Introduction and Greetings
00:00:01
Speaker
Are you ready? I'm ready! All right! Hello everybody! Hello! Very host! All right! Uh oh! Okay! I don't know! Do you know how to do it? No! I don't know! I don't know how to do it! What? I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it.
Debate on Podcast Intro Format
00:00:41
Speaker
It's this thing on. The podcast. Anyway, hi everyone. I'm going to do an intro. I'm not going to do an intro, but I'm going to do an intro.
00:00:57
Speaker
Well, I think that's why I'm so happy to be here. I'm so happy!
00:01:07
Speaker
Oh, I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it.
00:01:29
Speaker
But for me, I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it.
00:01:58
Speaker
Thank you
Impact of Pandemic and Reunion
00:02:06
Speaker
Well, anyway, so I guess now that the schoolmates are here, they are all here at Cabanda Roshan in college. I'm super happy because of the pandemic, the pandemic, the pandemic, the pandemic, the pandemic, the pandemic, the pandemic, the pandemic, the pandemic, the pandemic, the pandemic, the pandemic, the pandemic, the pandemic, the pandemic, the pandemic, the pandemic, the pandemic, the pandemic, the pandemic, the pandemic, the pandemic, the pandemic, the pandemic, the pandemic, the pandemic, the pandemic, the pandemic, the pandemic, the pandemic, the pandemic, the pandemic, the pandemic, the pandemic,
00:02:25
Speaker
very much! Thank you!
00:02:30
Speaker
Hello! Hello guys! Hi daddy! Hi guys! We are going to have a good time! We are going to have a good time! We are going to have a good time! We are going to have a good time! We are going to have a good time! We are going to have a good time!
00:02:53
Speaker
I am... I don't know how to say it, but I like to say it in Spanish. Guys, I like to say it in German. I like to say it in English. I like to say it in English. I like to say it in English. I am pursuing international studies, graduate studies. So, I don't know how to say it in English. I don't know how to say it in English.
00:03:23
Speaker
Are you studying international studies in your course? No, no, no. But what I mean is that abroad is not abroad, yeah. I don't know. I don't know. Sandow. San New York. Sorry. I don't know. I don't know how to apply for graduate studies abroad. I don't know. I don't know.
00:03:53
Speaker
edit out. No more like take us with you. That's really nice though. I love that for you. So darling, I don't want to go with our guests today.
00:04:15
Speaker
I can't believe it! I can't believe it! I can't believe it! I can't believe it! I can't believe it! I can't believe it! I can't believe it!
Introducing Relationships and Break-ups
00:04:52
Speaker
We can talk about it in the podcast.
00:04:55
Speaker
And one of those are, of course, relationships. So, I'm going to talk about breaking away from toxic relationships. So, break-ups. We are going to talk about break-ups today.
Personal Relationship Status and Experiences
00:05:25
Speaker
I have a relationship right now. Aww, that's really nice.
00:05:52
Speaker
Actually, I don't have a lot of time to do this. I don't have a break-up. I don't have a break-up. I don't have any break-up. I don't have any break-up. I don't have any break-up. I don't have any break-up. I don't have any break-up. I don't have any break-up. I don't have any break-up. I don't have any break-up. I don't have any break-up. I don't have any break-up. I don't have any break-up. I don't have any break-up.
00:06:23
Speaker
2021. Wow. So, I don't know how to commemorate nothing. I don't know how to celebrate. I don't know how to commemorate nothing. I don't know how to celebrate. I don't know how to celebrate. I don't know how to celebrate. I don't know how to break up. Actually, I don't know how to break up. Actually, I don't know how to break up. Actually, I don't know how to break up. Actually, I don't know how to break up. Actually, I don't know how to break up. Actually, I don't know how to break up. Actually, I don't know how to break up. Actually, I don't know how to break up. Actually, I don't know how to break up. Actually, I don't know how to break up. Actually, I don't know how to break up. Actually, I don't know how to break up. Actually, I don't know how to break up. Actually, I don't know how to break up. Actually, I don't
00:06:50
Speaker
I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. My relationship is more than four years. So, on the fourth year of our relationship, our anniversary is April. So, one month after, I didn't express anything. I didn't express anything.
00:07:16
Speaker
The reason that she has given me is that I am not a single person, because I have a relationship with my mother. I have a relationship with my mother. I have time, I have effort, I have resources, and I have a relationship with my mother. And she claims that I have a relationship with my mother.
00:07:46
Speaker
I really don't know, but I really don't know, but I really don't know, but I really don't know, but I really don't know, but I really don't know, but I really don't know, but I really don't know, but I really don't know, but I really don't know, but I really don't know, but I really don't know, but I really don't know, but I really don't know, but I really don't know, but I really don't know, but I really don't know,
00:08:05
Speaker
What I want to say is that I want to have a little bit of time for travel. I want to have a little bit of time. Since I'm a college professor, I want to have a little bit of time. I want to have a little bit of time. Of course, I want to have a little bit of music.
00:08:29
Speaker
I don't know if it's time or if it's time. You know energy, yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
00:08:54
Speaker
I have a question. So, when she told you that, what was your first reaction?
Realization of Break-up for Personal Growth
00:09:38
Speaker
If I continue the relationship, I don't expect that. I don't expect that. I don't expect that.
00:09:51
Speaker
She will resent me. And I don't want that. Let's say I'm a Catholic, and then I'm married, and then I'm like, what if you blame me on something? Even unintentionally, it will happen. So I cannot continue with this relationship any longer. That's not all. Because it's about her. It's for her own growth.
00:10:20
Speaker
And if I have to be eliminated, I have to do so. So there are other options, but to break up. So you did not try to negotiate. For example, if I'm traveling, I don't know if I'm going to travel or not.
00:10:44
Speaker
Like explore things on your own. Yes!
00:11:04
Speaker
Many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times, many times
00:11:31
Speaker
I don't know how to say it in English. I don't know how to say it in English. I don't know how to say it in English. I don't know how to say it in English. I don't know how to say it.
00:11:44
Speaker
What's funny is, if you go to the lockdown, you're going to lift the lockdown. Eventually, you're going to break up. And you're going to continue to break up. But it is always at the back of our heads, a big elephant in the room. So,
00:12:12
Speaker
Which is...
00:12:41
Speaker
I don't want to have a long-distance relationship. I don't want to have a long-distance relationship. Actually, I don't want to have a long-distance relationship.
00:13:07
Speaker
For us to really call it off. And it happened. This would be our way out exactly.
00:13:29
Speaker
My second question after, you know, after that is when you finally did break up, how were you then? What was going through your mind? What were the emotions that you were feeling when it finally did happen? But eventually,
00:13:59
Speaker
I realized that we had to do manipulation and all.
00:14:18
Speaker
So you feel like you were manipulated. She wanted to be single, but after a long weeks, so more than a month,
00:14:36
Speaker
So I feel like this is a good decision, but at least this is for her own good. And maybe this is for the betterment of myself also. But then, I feel like this is a good decision.
00:14:54
Speaker
because she wanted to be single and do things on her own. Yes. Okay, it's for the game. Okay, so that's why you thought... Okay, that's it. Okay, that's it. Okay, let's see.
00:15:31
Speaker
I felt like I was that replaceable. Even after all the efforts that I have given,
00:15:44
Speaker
I've been in Palestine for four years. It's not that short. Four years, I've been in Palestine for four years. I've been in Palestine for four years. I've been in Palestine for four years. I've been in Palestine for four years. I've been in Palestine for four years. I've been in Palestine for four years.
00:16:07
Speaker
I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that I have known that
00:16:47
Speaker
in terms of having a new relationship.
00:17:04
Speaker
I really gained a lot of weight. I really gained a lot of weight. I really gained a lot of weight. I really gained a lot of weight. I really gained a lot of weight. I really gained a lot of weight. I really gained a lot of weight. I really gained a lot of weight. I really gained a lot of weight. I really gained a lot of weight. I really gained a lot of weight.
00:17:34
Speaker
I don't have a coping mechanism anymore. I don't have a relationship anymore. After the breakup? I don't have a relationship anymore. After the breakup? I don't have a relationship anymore. I don't have a relationship anymore.
00:17:57
Speaker
I can see red flags in the relationship that you eventually realized.
Identifying Red Flags and Self-awareness
00:18:03
Speaker
I think it's more like red flags to identify before a breakup could happen. Yeah. Speak more. Una realized is how much I have changed myself for her.
00:18:33
Speaker
You will fix what is wrong about you, but do not try to fix something that is you.
00:18:44
Speaker
You know how humorous I am. Very corny, that jokey sense of humor. That was the best part of you.
00:19:01
Speaker
yes because she was a very serious person every time i crack up a joke especially when it has something to do with her with her intellect or what that's what i mean
00:19:29
Speaker
example that I can give you is that the joke is that it's the 18th birthday of a younger sister. I was laughing when I said that. Because it's a joke, yeah. It's a bad joke. That's how I wake up.
00:19:57
Speaker
Oh my god. So, for me, it's not wavelength, it's not humor. I don't know. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it.
00:20:27
Speaker
Oh, my clowns! Oh, my clowns! No, my dog! Oh, they found it funny! It was funny, it was a joke!
00:20:51
Speaker
I denied myself of that. I don't know if it's a joke or not. I don't know if it's a joke or not. I don't know if it's a joke or not. I don't know if it's a joke or not. I don't know if it's a joke or not.
00:21:27
Speaker
It's not about her.
00:21:59
Speaker
I don't know. September 16th is on the other side. I don't know. Virgosha! Virgo! My problem is that I'm a Libra because my girlfriend right now is a Libra. No, no. Libras are cool. It's a Virgo. A little friend named Virgo. Okay.
00:22:09
Speaker
It's not about her. I don't know. I don't know.
00:22:23
Speaker
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
00:22:40
Speaker
It's supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be fun.
00:23:06
Speaker
I didn't express myself in my student school. I was that kind of pro. You were that kind of pro. You were that kind of pro. You were that kind of pro. You were that kind of pro. You were that kind of pro. You were that kind of pro. You were that kind of pro. You were that kind of pro. You were that kind of pro. You were that kind of pro. You were that kind of pro. You were that kind of pro. You were that kind of pro. You were that kind of pro. You were that kind of pro. You were that kind of pro. You were that kind of pro. You were that kind of pro. You were that kind of pro. You were that kind of pro. You were that kind of pro.
00:23:40
Speaker
Oh my god, what are you doing? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? Going back to my point, do not change yourself so much, too much.
00:23:54
Speaker
For the greens.
00:24:01
Speaker
The point of having a relationship, one thing about it is, like me, I was a goofy person back then.
00:24:32
Speaker
I think that's a red flag already.
00:25:06
Speaker
That's the surface.
00:25:10
Speaker
How do you identify it? How do you identify the gaslighting and the manipulation? It's experience small. In India, I'm like in a textbook. I understand what it means to be the gaslighting. Since I am in a toxic relationship, I was not I. I was in a toxic relationship.
00:25:41
Speaker
If you are doing certain efforts, then you will receive. For example, the effort from
00:26:06
Speaker
from her workplace, because her shift is changing.
00:26:28
Speaker
Not yet. Not yet. Just to be with her. Just to be with her and to get her home safe. That's the point. I was working in the government, pursuing law. You're not having any, you're not having pass on. And then, I was working in the government and other opportunities.
00:26:58
Speaker
I shift to 6 am to 3 pm. 6 to 3. So I have to do extra work. So I have to do 6 pm. 5 pm, 6 pm. So I was working 12 hours a day. So I would commute then.
00:27:39
Speaker
And then I will wait 9, 9 p.m. to go out of the village and then
00:27:57
Speaker
So, it's a lot of stress. But there's a lot of times that I'm not going to do anything. I'm physically straining for me. Because imagine, I have to wake up 5am. The next day. And you know how hard the commute is in the Philippines. So, it's taking a lot of stress. So, it means
00:28:35
Speaker
But I treat this as manipulation. For a certain amount of time. For a certain amount of time.
00:29:01
Speaker
So it did not happen just once. It happened many times, but not that many.
00:29:13
Speaker
They are comfortable, but I don't know how to say it. So, I don't know how to say it, but look at the set up. I don't know how to say it, but I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it, but I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it, but I don't know how to say it.
00:29:40
Speaker
Just because it's not a toxic trait. It's not a toxic trait. A toxic trait. A toxic trait. A self-reflection then, okay.
00:30:05
Speaker
So, eventually, when I was a young guy, my parents were a little bit tough with me. When I was a young ex, at some point, they told me that I was a kid.
00:30:44
Speaker
I think it's safe to go home alone. Anyway, I think it's safe to go home alone. Anyway, I think it's safe to go home alone. Anyway, I think it's safe to go home alone. Anyway, I think it's safe to go home alone. Anyway, I think it's safe to go home alone. Anyway, I think it's safe to go home alone. Anyway, I think it's safe to go home alone. Anyway, I think it's safe to go home alone. Anyway, I think it's safe to go home alone. Anyway, I think it's safe to go home alone. Anyway, I think it's safe to go home alone. Anyway, I think it's safe to go home alone. Anyway, I think it's safe to go home alone. Anyway, I think it's safe to go home alone. Anyway, I think it's safe to go home alone. Anyway, I think it's safe to go home alone. Anyway, I think it's safe to go home alone. Anyway, I think it's safe to go home
00:30:58
Speaker
I like the negotiation there.
00:31:14
Speaker
a motorcycle. So, so broadly, it's not income go. No, a little bit like in common teachers. No, uh, the lagang in in Raiko, you know, and Kota lagana para para ma habla kaitluma. Hi to my chaknyu load on some of the, uh, just to, uh, um, uh, yeah. So,
00:31:42
Speaker
I would do my best. I would do my best. I would do my best. I would do my best. I would do my best.
00:32:13
Speaker
Let's be mature about this matter. Let's settle this matter
00:32:30
Speaker
Like adults, emotions, nothing. Let's be objective. Let's be rational. You are invalidating my emotions.
00:33:08
Speaker
It is something that I want to be out. It will break you in the long run. It is something that I want to be out.
00:33:25
Speaker
After realizing all that, after realizing all that, after realizing all that, after realizing all that, after realizing all that, after realizing all that, after realizing all that, after realizing all that, after realizing all that, after realizing all that, after realizing all that, after realizing all that, after realizing all that, after realizing all that, after realizing all that, after realizing all that, after realizing all that, after realizing all that, after realizing all that, after realizing all that,
00:33:50
Speaker
How did that go?
Expressing Emotions and Handling Experiences
00:33:51
Speaker
How did that go? I don't know. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it.
00:34:17
Speaker
I don't know, I don't know how to say it, I don't know how to say it, I don't know how to say it
00:34:30
Speaker
But I also experienced that a lot from her. But I also experienced that a lot from her. But I also experienced that a lot from her. But I also experienced that a lot from her. But I also experienced that a lot from her. But I also experienced that a lot from her. But I also experienced that a lot from her. But I also experienced that a lot from her. But I also experienced that a lot from her. But I also experienced that a lot from her. But I also experienced that a lot from her. But I also experienced that a lot from her. But I also experienced that a lot from her. But I also experienced that a lot from her. But I also experienced that a lot from her. But I also experienced that a lot from her. But I also experienced that a lot from her. But I also experienced that a lot from her. But I also experienced that a lot from her. But I also experienced that a lot from her. But I also experienced that a lot from her. But I also experienced that a lot from her. But I also experienced
00:34:54
Speaker
Now, I will explain that to her. I explained the nature of the law. I was in law school back then. Or what not.
00:35:24
Speaker
Let's just agree to disagree. That's okay. Like you have a different opinion. The problem must be in a guy.
00:35:48
Speaker
You heard it here. You heard it here. You heard it here. You heard it here. You heard it here. You heard it here. You heard it here. You heard it here. You heard it here. You heard it here. You heard it here. You heard it here. You heard it here. You heard it here. You heard it here. You heard it here. You heard it here. You heard it here. You heard it here. You heard it here. You heard it here.
00:36:33
Speaker
But those are great points that we will circle back to later at the end.
00:36:44
Speaker
I don't know if this is a Virgo thing.
00:37:09
Speaker
She always makes everything about herself. She always makes everything about herself. She always makes everything about herself. She always makes everything about herself. She always makes everything about herself. She always makes everything about herself. She always makes everything about herself. She always makes everything about herself. She always makes everything about herself. She always makes everything about herself.
00:37:39
Speaker
When I was growing up, I started to release a song that I didn't know about. It was like this. My boss is like this. My boss is like this. My boss is like this. My boss is like this. My boss is like this. My boss is like this. My boss is like this. My boss is like this. My boss is like this. My boss is like this. My boss is like this.
00:38:29
Speaker
Exactly. An ending.
00:38:36
Speaker
When I was young, I observed that when I was young, I had no stress. I had no release. Imagine. I had no frustration. I had no release. I had no normal life. I had no decision. I didn't have any success.
00:38:58
Speaker
But she did not. I think she was so full of herself.
00:39:37
Speaker
Mm hmm.
00:39:43
Speaker
But I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it.
00:40:10
Speaker
It's a give-and-take thing. But it's a long time to take care of the other always. I have a question. You mentioned earlier that these things you've realized were toxic after the breakup happened. Is that correct? Yeah.
00:40:29
Speaker
Okay, so my question is, if every that the both of you have identified these things to be toxic when you are still in the relationship, would there be a chance to communicate about it? Would things have been different? Yeah, I think it will be different. But I think it will not work out for them.
00:41:01
Speaker
Personalities, wavelengths, no? Even if I communicated with you, it's just as if you are communicating that it's not working, which is an easier way out, but it still probably wouldn't work.
00:41:16
Speaker
We always hear from others. The key to a good relationship or for a relationship story is communication, which is true at some point. You communicate to each other your needs and your wants and your boundaries and to resolve things. But it didn't show the answer for everything just because you communicated it or you may have talked about it.
00:41:59
Speaker
I believe aside from the points that you have given
00:42:12
Speaker
This is not me anymore. I have a good sense of humor, but I cannot do that with her. Because I have a good sense of humor, but I cannot do that with her. I have a good sense of humor, but I cannot do that with her. I have a good sense of humor, but I cannot do that with her. I have a good sense of humor,
00:42:41
Speaker
I think it's an effect on how I teach, on how I view myself as an academic. I think it's an effect on how I teach, on how I view myself as an academic. I think it's an effect on how I teach, on how I view myself as an academic. I think it's an effect on how I teach, on how I view myself as an academic. I think it's an effect on how I view myself as an academic. I think it's an effect on how I view myself as an academic. I think it's an effect on how I view myself as an academic. I think it's an effect on how I view myself as an academic. I think it's an effect on how I view myself as an academic. I think it's an effect on how I view myself as an academic. I think it's an effect on how I view myself as an academic. I think it's an effect on how I view myself as an academic. I think it's an effect on how I view myself as an academic. I think it's an effect on how I
00:43:06
Speaker
economics, politics, law. I don't want to live like this anymore.
00:43:33
Speaker
emotions. I am feeling numb, liberation. I am feeling
00:43:54
Speaker
And I asked myself, you know, I don't know what to do, but I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. Eventually, I didn't realize how much I didn't realize because the relationship itself was suffocating. Yeah, I think that's what I wanted.
00:44:20
Speaker
I don't know how to say it but I don't know how to say it I don't know how to say it but I don't know
00:44:43
Speaker
So from that to philosophical and existentialist things. Who are you? Paul Sartre is shaking. That's a good question. Did you want to get back to that and be able to go? Yeah. Actually, I don't want to talk to you.
00:45:08
Speaker
So I regained that when I was in New York. Actually, I didn't know anything about it because I didn't express it to other people. I didn't know anything about it. I didn't know anything about it. I didn't know anything about it. I didn't know anything about it. I didn't know anything about it. I didn't know anything about it. I didn't know anything.
00:45:42
Speaker
That's very real. Good job. Very realist.
00:45:57
Speaker
I worked on my music. I worked on my music as a musician. I worked as a master. I worked as a realist. I worked as a very demanding musician. I worked as a master. I am very thankful to a colleague of mine, Safatima.
00:46:20
Speaker
When I was a graduate, I was very intelligent. When I was an intellectual, I had a lot of fun. I had a lot of fun. I had a lot of fun. I had a lot of fun. I had a lot of fun. I had a lot of fun. I had lots of fun.
00:46:46
Speaker
involved in movements, also worldwide teaching for climate and justice.
00:46:57
Speaker
Climate Activation Movement, Climate Movement. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We have a team in the Philippines. We have a team in the Philippines. Wow. And actually, we have an opportunity to study abroad. So, I've heard this, this is an episode where you invest in yourself.
00:47:36
Speaker
It's not to have a better relationship.
Investing in Self After Break-up
00:47:41
Speaker
It's not to hurt them in any way, but to invest in yourself and grow.
00:47:47
Speaker
to be better. And to answer the questions, I believe that I am the best version of myself so far. In terms of maturity, in terms of
00:48:05
Speaker
You have a career trajectory, you have a packaging centered on things. And how I had relationships. Yes, exactly. How I had relationships. Yeah, like how I had relationships. Like, how is it? Actually... I don't know, but I have a gas lighter. I don't know how toxic it is.
00:48:38
Speaker
Actually, I have a relationship with her. I am very happy. I have a relationship with her. I have a relationship with her.
00:48:52
Speaker
I used to believe that love is hard. I used to believe that love is hard. I used to believe that love is hard. I used to believe that love is hard. I used to believe that love is hard. I used to believe that love is hard. I used to believe that love is hard. I used to believe that love is hard. I used to believe that love is hard. I used to believe that love is hard. I used to believe that love is hard. I used to believe that love is hard. I used to believe that love is hard. I used to believe that love is hard. I used to believe that love is hard.
00:49:21
Speaker
I have a young relationship, very mature, I have a girlfriend, and I have a lot of problems, like I have a lot of experience in the past. I don't know how to say it, or how to say it, depending.
00:50:13
Speaker
We're so happy for you.
00:50:18
Speaker
And now I'm going to make a video about it. I'm going to do a podcast, and I'm going to make a video about it.
00:50:49
Speaker
Also your own identity, yeah.
00:50:53
Speaker
Growth is always good in healthy relationships. We always not just want to, you know, change for the better for our partner, but change for ourselves as well. Grow as a person. That's very, very different from changing, like you said, things that are not broken anyways, just to accommodate the other person.
00:51:14
Speaker
Shaha, it's really hard to be in a toxic relationship because it changes you. It makes you toxic as well. Yes, it's true. To the point, it's that toxic you would stop communicating even. You're toxic. This is not me. I wouldn't do this before. Why am I doing this now? That's a good takeaway. An indicator. Something's not right here.
00:51:53
Speaker
One thing I also learned from your story was we also have to be conscious on
00:52:00
Speaker
giving the support that our partner needs. Sometimes, because we forget about that when we are so absorbed with what we are going through, because we're human. We go through a lot of things ourselves during the day or during the week. And it means that we forget when our partner is communicating something to us. For Alex's example earlier, he was venting out. He wanted to talk about this because he wanted to release his frustration and anger with something.
00:52:30
Speaker
but you have to be conscious sometimes we also have to listen we just need to give our partner that space that safe space for them to let it out there and not take that against them right and not invalidate them
00:52:45
Speaker
Exactly, not invalidate. Sometimes other people do that. I know some people have good intentions, I guess, when they do that.
00:53:04
Speaker
It's their way of comforting the other person. You don't have it as bad. Like mine is actually worse. But it's not comforting. It's invalidating the other person's struggle.
Providing a Safe Space for Partners
00:53:36
Speaker
Always provide a safe space for your partner and don't invalidate their feelings.
00:53:43
Speaker
Ayaan, after the breakup when you have finally gained liberation from the toxicity, you chose to love yourself and give time for yourself. I'm super excited for your international studies. Of course, Madan. Of course, I'm a master of science in climate science and policy.
00:54:14
Speaker
But are you like going back to investing yourself? Eilek realized that after the breakup, but it's also a good practice to do that while you are still in that relationship. Don't forget yourself. It circles back to the first point, right? Don't neglect parts of yourself that you want to grow.
00:54:35
Speaker
You know, my partner can have a lot of energy more. Make sure that you still have enough for yourself. It's not enough. Even the same amount. Let's face it. We never really know if relationships last, right? You're the only one who can do that for yourself.
00:55:02
Speaker
yeah like loving other people is not supposed to be that difficult yeah but it's not supposed to feel like a chore yes it's once you try to work things out that didn't work out
00:55:21
Speaker
I think there's a level of, you know, we all know that. Yeah, there's a social relationship.
00:55:36
Speaker
I don't know, I don't know, but analysis is good, analysis is good, but in the end, it's good to know that you have a threshold for yourself, but you don't identify yourself with red flags, you have a threshold for yourself, but you communicate with your partner.
00:56:04
Speaker
Let's try 2023. Let's settle non-negotiables. Because it's not supposed to be that difficult. We hear it all the time from others. But when you find yourself forcing yourself to
00:56:32
Speaker
accept things that shouldn't even be acceptable for you. Get out. Come on. In the first place. Leave. Shut up. Communicate it and try. I think it's a good thing to try, to communicate it. Hey, maybe this is something that we can work on. But if it's not working, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do.
00:57:00
Speaker
But breakups are hard, but we're really happy to hear that you have eventually found yourself again, Alek, and you're happy again. We're glad to hear your bubbly self. I swear to God, that was the best part that I remember about you. We always loved that.
00:57:24
Speaker
I'm going to be with Alek and so I'm going to be the guest I'm actually on girlfriend mode to validate. Bring this on! Anyways, I'm going to be with Alek
00:57:47
Speaker
Actually, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely, most likely,
00:58:11
Speaker
From their family. From their family. Given what you have learned from your previous relationship and if you were to give them two cents, what would it be? Since generally, it's not selfish to put yourself first.
00:58:41
Speaker
It's not selfish. It's not selfish. It's not selfish. It's not selfish. It's not selfish. It's not selfish. It's not selfish.
00:59:05
Speaker
Not because I'm proud of my uncle in the past, but because I don't deserve to be considered as your other half, but because I don't deserve to be considered as your other half, but because I don't deserve to be considered as your other half, but because I don't deserve to be considered as your other half, but because I don't deserve to be considered as your other half, but because I don't deserve to be considered as your other half,
00:59:34
Speaker
It's really worried in that time, because it's going to be a big time.
00:59:42
Speaker
I don't know if it's because of the frustrations in the relationship or not. So, I think it's because of you. You know, for your own peace of mind, for your own happiness. And you know, when you're in a place where you're in a place where you deserve to live, you deserve to live for four years. I don't deserve to live for three years. Sure.
01:00:20
Speaker
I don't know if it's true or not. I don't know if it's true or not. I don't know if it's true or not. I don't know if it's true or not. I don't know if it's true or not. I don't know if it's true or not. I don't know if it's true or not. I don't know if it's true or not. I don't know if it's true or not. I don't know if it's true or not.
01:00:29
Speaker
Four years old.
01:00:47
Speaker
But no one deserves to experience that. But no one deserves to experience that. But no one deserves to experience that. But no one deserves to experience that. But no one deserves to experience that. But no one deserves to experience that. But no one deserves to experience that. But no one deserves to experience that. But no one deserves to experience that. But no one deserves to experience that. But no one deserves to experience that. But no one deserves to experience that. But no one deserves to experience that. But no one deserves to experience that. But no one deserves to experience that. But no one deserves to experience that. But no one deserves to experience that.
01:01:15
Speaker
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Very cliche but still relevant. Yeah, that's why it's cliche. I know, because it's so relevant. Anyways. Thank you, Dave. Thank you, Dave.
01:01:45
Speaker
I just wanted to make a short disclaimer. We are not villainizing anyone. We don't want to villainize the ex. We acknowledge that was a relationship that happened in the past and there were a lot of factors. What relationship do you want to make? No, we just don't want to put anyone in a bad light. When do you want to put someone in a bad light?
01:02:16
Speaker
The objective here is, the objective is not to villainize someone or anyone, but for us to learn in previous experiences that Eilik has willingly shared to us and you're so thankful for that Eilik.
Conclusion and Social Media Information
01:02:34
Speaker
Thank you. Thank you, Eilik.
01:02:38
Speaker
Okay, so today I'm going to talk to you guys about social media. We're going to talk about episode show notes. We're going to talk about social media handles. We're going to be talking about Google Form. We're going to be talking about how we're going to be talking about suggestions, comments, violent reactions, and how we're going to be talking about the X channel.
01:03:04
Speaker
Feel free to reach out. Feel free to reach out. What do you say? What do you say? What do you say? What do you say? What do you say? What do you say? What do you say? What do you say? What do you say?
01:03:23
Speaker
Thanks, Pleasure!
01:03:43
Speaker
But yeah, thank you so much guys for listening to this episode. We hope you enjoyed it as much as we did. And yeah, we will catch you on the next episode. Bye. Hi, my name is Karat. And my name is Patek. And you listen to this thing on the podcast. Please follow you. And subscribe. Bye. Goodbye.