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Tupang Ina Mo!
174 Plays2 years ago
Hinahanapan ka na ba ng apo, tulad ni Daryll? Or advance ka mag-isip at binigyan mo na ng apo ang parents mo, az a surprise, like Kesh?
Whoever you are and wherever you came from, we're pretty sure makaka relate ka dito dahil in this episode, we talk about the expectations of our parents and how we managed to either meet them--or fail them spectacularly. Ika nga nila, Go big or go home, diba?
In this episode, we get deep into our feelings and made this sort of a therapy session, if you will. We talk about how we have broken free from-- if not our parents'-- society's expectations and learned how to make our own path and navigate it.
This episode is for the black sheep of the family.
For the ones who strive for their parents' approval and seem to have lost themselves in the process.
For the ones who feel like they are a disappointment.
The ones who are tired of meeting expectations and stopped trying.
WE ARE PROUD OF YOU, AND THIS ONE IS FOR YOU! ❤️
#MadeOnZencastr #MicOrMagicWand
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Transcript
00:00:01
Speaker
Okay. I'm going to say the first word. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.
Dealing with Parental Expectations
00:00:30
Speaker
Okay
00:00:31
Speaker
But you know, we have to suck it up. As we have always said, suck it up. How long can we keep this up?
00:00:47
Speaker
this energy. We have failed you just like how we have failed our parents.
00:01:13
Speaker
And this episode is all about that. True. Oh yeah, that is so smooth. Anyway, because of that smoothness. And this is... Is this thing on? Podcast.
00:01:34
Speaker
Anyway, so as Daril have mentioned a few seconds ago, our topic for this episode is about expectations of our parents.
00:02:00
Speaker
What about your new episode title? Tupang Inamu. Tupang Inamarin? We're talking about human nature. Tupang Inamu is the expectations of our parents and how we have met or failed them.
00:02:31
Speaker
We will find out! Okay, so, Dariel, hi! We will find out! Okay, so, Dariel, hi! Okay, so, Dariel, hi! Okay, so, Dariel, hi! Okay, so, Dariel, hi! Okay, so, Dariel, hi! Okay, so, Dariel, hi! Okay, so, Dariel, hi! Okay, so, Dariel, hi! Okay, so, Dariel, hi! Okay, so, Dariel, hi! Okay, so, Dariel, hi! Okay, so, Dariel, hi! Okay, so, Dariel, hi! Okay, so, Dariel, hi! Okay, so, Dariel, hi! Okay, so, Dariel, hi! Okay, so, Dariel, hi! Okay, so, Dariel, hi! Okay, so, Dariel, hi! Okay, so, Dariel, hi! Okay, so,
00:02:57
Speaker
What do you remember? Like, on the top of your head right now. What do you remember? What do you... At the top of your head, what do you think when you say... When... Wait.
00:03:26
Speaker
I don't know what it is, but I don't know the expectation of parents. I have a good question. What do you think about the outline?
00:03:38
Speaker
You have failed to meet my expectations. You have failed to meet my expectations. You have failed to meet my expectations. You have failed to meet my expectations. You have failed to meet my expectations. You have failed to meet my expectations.
00:04:03
Speaker
I think every Filipino, adolescent, and millennial could relate to family gathering. I think every Filipino, adolescent, and millennial could relate to family gathering. I think every Filipino could relate to family gathering.
Personal Stories of Expectations Unmet
00:04:35
Speaker
It's been a while since I saw my relatives.
00:04:40
Speaker
Oh, but I don't have any expectations. At least, I don't have any expectations of my parents. But I don't have any expectations. I don't have any expectations. So, I don't have any expectations. I don't have any expectations. So, I don't have any expectations. I don't have any expectations.
00:05:12
Speaker
So I know your expectation on parents. My parents are specific.
00:05:22
Speaker
profession that they wanted you to be when while you were growing up at least I am expecting you to be like this I am expecting you to fight for what is right and I am expecting you to be kind to be principled to be godly and Christ God fearing
00:05:49
Speaker
profession. I was already looking for like the approval of my parents as early as I could remember to the point I told them.
00:06:20
Speaker
When I was a kid, I had a memory that I didn't know how to communicate, but I was given a community that was growing up. I was a astronaut, or every Filipino can relate. I was a fireman, I was a scientist, I was either a doctor or a religious person. I was a Christian doctor, a Christian missionary.
00:06:48
Speaker
Oh, I'm so proud of my son.
High Expectations from Early Achievements
00:06:57
Speaker
Because they did not have to set the expectation for me. I was already asslicking back then. Until now. But in the more literal sense. No, it's okay. It's okay. Thank you.
00:07:20
Speaker
Oh my god! I can't believe it! I can't believe it! I can't believe it! I can't believe it!
00:07:34
Speaker
I know, growing up, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't
00:08:04
Speaker
I was bright. They always used that word with me. I don't know why, but it sounded glowing. Bright as the morning. It's so bright.
00:08:33
Speaker
Apparently, I was able to read at an early age. I knew how to read cursive at an early age. I was able to read at an early age. I knew how to read cursive at an early age. I knew how to read cursive at an early age. I knew how to read cursive at an early age. I knew how to read cursive at an early age. I knew how to read cursive at an early age. I knew how to read cursive at an early age. I knew how to read cursive at an early age. I knew how to read cursive at an early age.
00:09:02
Speaker
You know, to avoid that stuff. So they were like... Bright shard, of course. But I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. So apparently, I don't know how to say it, but I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it.
00:09:23
Speaker
It won't hold, but it won't hold.
00:09:29
Speaker
My expectations were not that I could perform in school, in grade school, or in school. But I didn't care, I didn't care, I didn't care, I didn't care, I didn't care, I didn't care, I didn't care, I didn't care, I didn't care, I didn't care, I didn't care, I didn't care, I didn't care, I didn't care, I didn't care, I didn't care, I didn't care, I didn't care, I didn't care, I didn't care, I didn't care, I didn't care,
00:10:10
Speaker
What?
Childhood Comparisons and Their Impact
00:10:11
Speaker
What the fuck? Especially for a kid, you don't really... I mean, now, I would say it as an affirmation. And I think that's how my parents intended it to be then. No, affirmation. But then, I'm like, I don't know how to say it. Like, perform, perform, perform, perform. I don't know how to say it. Oh my God. I don't know how to say it.
00:10:22
Speaker
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
00:10:40
Speaker
Oh my god, it's such a me child exploitation experience. But it's not an episode yet. There was this, like, there was this, like, there was this, like, there was this, like, there was this, like, there was this, like, there was this, like, there was this, like, there was this, like, there was this, like, there was this, like, there was this, like, there was this, like, there was this, like, there was this, like, there was this, like, there was this, like, there was this, like, there was this, like, there was this, like, there was this, like, there was this, like, there was this, like, there was this, like, there was this, like, there was this, like, there was this, like, there was this, like, there was this, like, there was this, like, there was this, like, there was this, like, there was this, like, there was this, like
00:11:31
Speaker
I wouldn't call it exploit.
00:11:54
Speaker
That's as early as I can remember.
00:11:57
Speaker
So it exhausted me, to be honest. They had this expectation that I would be like this, I would be like that, I would perform in school.
00:12:08
Speaker
I have this kind of like behavior or personality, I'm not really sure.
00:12:31
Speaker
So growing up is not about the expectations at an early age.
00:12:42
Speaker
Now, starting now, I have a little bit of pressure on my grades, my grades, and my performance in school. So, in addition to that, I have a little bit of pressure on my parents. The experience I have is that they don't compare to my peers. We are Asians. They don't compare. They don't compare to me. They compare to someone.
00:13:08
Speaker
My classmates, they are specific names. They are my churchmates. Shout out to them. I'm not sure what they're saying. I'm not sure what they're saying. I'm not sure what they're saying. I'm not sure what they're saying. I don't know what they're saying. I don't know what they're saying. I don't know what they're saying. I don't know what they're saying. I don't know what they're saying. I don't know what they're saying. I don't know what they're saying. I don't know what they're saying.
00:13:37
Speaker
What did you do? I did well. Congrats. I tripped my best. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it.
00:13:48
Speaker
I think it's a valid criticism, because I talk it from the people whom I value the most, such as my parents, my relatives.
Identity vs Parental Expectations
00:13:59
Speaker
I think that's why I don't have to internalize this comparison, I don't have to compare this to the point where I don't have to compare, or I don't have expectations.
00:14:15
Speaker
But I don't know, I didn't expect to go to school. I didn't expect to go to the older level. I didn't expect to go to a profession. I didn't expect to go to school. I wanted to become a lawyer. Well, my dad did tell me at some point before that I didn't want to go to school.
00:14:43
Speaker
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
00:14:59
Speaker
Feeling good, that was more of a suggestion than an expectation. Okay, so what's the expectation? So like the free way to get an education is through like Bible school. But my dad, like I've mentioned before in our first episode, they didn't
00:15:21
Speaker
really want me to just focus on that. I mean in the ministry, I was also the eldest. So they didn't say this explicitly. I just felt it. No, I have this expectation. No, I would be helping financially. But this was just from me. They didn't say this to me directly.
00:15:51
Speaker
The expectation of the Aachen was to at least follow their footsteps in the ministry and help them out with the ministry. Not necessarily me becoming a Bible woman, but still being active in the ministry, in church. They expected me to not be a Tupang in a mall. Not to be a black sheep. They expected me to be
00:16:18
Speaker
That's a massive woman in her. Kind of. Let's put it this way. They have raised me in this set of principles and guidelines and how they, how they believe and how they were taught as well and how to raise a child, which is to train up a child in the way he should go. And when he is old,
00:17:01
Speaker
They brought me up to be a godly person.
00:17:08
Speaker
Be kind, be patient. What's the root of the spirit? Long suffering. Long suffering. Some of those, if not most, I'm still carrying with me the man. I think they are good principles that you should carry, that anybody should carry, like being kind, right? Being patient. I think that that should be, like, regardless of what your religion is, you should be that. Yeah, yeah.
00:17:37
Speaker
So, would you say that those were the expectations, or at least some of them that you have met your parents' expectations?
00:18:00
Speaker
So the next question is, what are your expectations? What are you feeling? What are you feeling? What are you feeling? What are you feeling? You left it.
00:18:16
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know what the episode is. Easy answers. Top of mind. Our parents taught us to be godly. And those come with a set of moral values such as being kind to your neighbor.
00:18:35
Speaker
I'm fighting for the oppressed, you know, standing up for what is right, no matter how hard it is. Those kinds of principles, I think, were taught to me and were expected of me to follow, which I can proudly say that I'm doing my best to do so, and I am proud to do it.
Parental Values vs Current Beliefs
00:19:05
Speaker
Good manners and right conduct. Good manners and right conduct. In other words, progressive values in a way. We have colonial religion and all, but there are some progressive values there. When you translate it to adulthood, we have a value of consent, of equality,
00:19:47
Speaker
I'm proud to be a mom. I'm proud to be in India when I'm at the surface level. But you're an asshole. Yeah, I'm not. I don't know. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to say. In the sense, I don't know what to say.
00:19:57
Speaker
of, you know, those kinds of things.
00:20:15
Speaker
I don't want to be insensitive. I don't want to be insensitive.
00:20:35
Speaker
I'm living up to your expectations.
00:20:55
Speaker
Assholes! Sorry, you're too funny! Oh my god. I don't want to make you look like your parents. Feeling cool. Your parents would be more proud. I don't know when this comes. Oh my god. It just made two sense. Oh my god. I'm so sorry now.
00:21:25
Speaker
Oh, oh my god, that's what I wanted to say. Yeah, the expectations! I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.
00:21:51
Speaker
She was the one I intended for you to marry.
00:22:04
Speaker
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know,
00:22:30
Speaker
They expect it to change.
00:22:47
Speaker
In one snap, it could change. I mean that didn't happen with me. That's a bright person. That's a bright person. I give you two.
00:23:18
Speaker
Not just one, but two. Yeah, those kinds of expectations. Those are so fucked up.
00:23:36
Speaker
The feeling of violent argument and it's sincere.
00:23:59
Speaker
But for me, it's not an ethical thing. It's unethical, but I don't think that there's a lot of resources. I don't think there's a lot of resources. I don't think there's a lot of resources. I don't think there's a lot of respect. Very brave and controversial thing to say. I don't think there's a lot of resources. I don't think there's a lot of excuse. Or so you think. Or so I think.
00:24:29
Speaker
Even if I were a straight person and would want to have kids, but given this current perspective in life, I would choose not to and I would judge myself if I put a kid into this damn wrenched world.
00:24:50
Speaker
This is because I have kids. I don't know how that rubs me. I mean, I know it's not a personal insult. And I do understand what that means. And I do agree. The earth, our planet is in such state. I feel that now.
00:25:17
Speaker
I am scared for my children and what future that they have in this, if not just in this country, in this actual planet. Especially with everything that's going on with global warming and climate change. I understand where that sentiment is coming from.
00:25:47
Speaker
But I also understand other people wanting to have kids too. It's their own personal choice. Out of all the podcast episodes that we've published, one value that we would always want to resurface is people's feelings and wants are valid.
00:26:05
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. That's also true. Yeah, it's their body. They want to carry it and they want... Also, there are people who can say, let's say, adults or parents. Let's just say parents. I'm lucky enough to have parents who are not thinking this way. I don't want to have a pension plan. I don't want to have a pension plan.
00:26:32
Speaker
I don't know how to say that in Hindi, but I don't know how to say that in Hindi. I don't know how to say that in Hindi. If that was your expectation, that's one expectation failed. Yeah. Speaking of that, my mom always tells me, nah, she's sad that I'm already like... I don't know how to say that in Hindi, but
00:27:08
Speaker
She always envisioned me helping her around the house, like living with her for a long time. She always said, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this.
00:27:26
Speaker
One thing she always tells me, is like,
00:27:31
Speaker
I think what she envisioned was like a mother-daughter experience. But the reality is, I love her as much as I love her with my whole heart and soul.
00:28:02
Speaker
to the point, no, Magna Nervous breakdown. And it was very toxic and unhealthy. I'm glad I had the option before to like live outside their house.
00:28:18
Speaker
mental health,
Reconciling Unmet Expectations
00:28:20
Speaker
especially in our personalities.
00:28:20
Speaker
And I think that's one of the expectations I failed to meet.
00:28:32
Speaker
for me to stay with her in our house. And I have made my peace with that. My mom, unfortunately, is still learning to make her peace with it. Because up till now, she's still sad about that. And it's sad. What do you feel? Okay. Speaking of failed expectations.
00:28:54
Speaker
What do you feel about knowing that there are some expectations of your parents that it's either you cannot meet or you do not want to meet anymore? Like you're just like scrapping the whole idea. Say goodbye to that expectation. You can never expect me to do that. Yeah. What do you feel about that as a son?
00:29:17
Speaker
Wow, that's a very hard question. Hmm. Yes. I feel... I think that's a very hard question because it's either I did not put much thought into it or it wasn't talked about in the home. I feel so sorry for them.
00:29:45
Speaker
I just can't imagine how a parent, I might never be a parent, but I think I would understand what it feels like to have expected from a person whom they love so much and then miss those expectations.
00:30:04
Speaker
But apparently, the reality is I couldn't. I couldn't live to those expectations. So I think the closest feeling that I could describe is, you know, feeling sorry for them. But I'm sorry. Yes, sincerely sorry. Yeah. Have you made your peace with it?
00:30:23
Speaker
I have. Was there a point in your life that you haven't made peace? Like, I want to hear about how you got to that point, that you are now at peace with it. Yes. Yes. I think I compensated, I compensated on those expectations, like on a different way. But I did not become, I did not
00:30:47
Speaker
become a pastor or active in the ministry, but I would say that I did not fuck up college. College fucked me up. I fucked in college, but I did not fuck up college. I think
00:31:13
Speaker
Oh my god, I don't know what to realize. I don't know what to expect from you. I don't know what to expect from you. I don't know what to expect from you. I don't know what to expect from you. I don't know what to expect from you. I don't know what to expect from you. I don't know what to expect from you. I don't know what to expect from you. I don't know what to expect from you. I don't know what to expect from you. I don't know what to expect from you. I don't know what to expect from you. I don't know what to expect from you.
00:31:44
Speaker
I might not be the son you've expected, you know, having a family, being a pastor, being an active Christian. I might not be that person, but I am also not the son I think, or so I think.
00:32:10
Speaker
I hope I have made them proud in one way or another. I hope I have made them proud in one way or another. I hope I have made them proud in one way or another. I hope I have made them proud in one way or another. I hope I have made them proud in one way or another.
00:32:32
Speaker
I don't know how to do it, I don't know how to do it, I don't know how to do it, I don't know how to do it, I don't know how to do it, I don't know how to do it, I don't know how to do it, I don't know how to do it, I don't know how to do it, I don't know how to do it, I don't know how to do it
00:32:57
Speaker
I know, but I'm not going to be able to get pregnant. I'm not going to be able to get pregnant. I'm not going to be able to get pregnant. I'm not going to be able to get pregnant. I'm not going to be able to get pregnant. I'm not going to be able to get pregnant. I'm not going to get pregnant.
00:33:23
Speaker
Like, I don't know how to say it, but I don't know how to say it, but I don't know how to say it, but I don't know how to say it, but I don't know how to say it.
00:33:37
Speaker
Oh my god. Oh my god. I feel so bad. I know. It's okay. Continue. So it's sad. It's very sad. Not just for them, but for me and it all. So I have like a new... As a mom, Narin.
00:33:58
Speaker
can feel a Brazilian perspective. You will really see things in another light. After I became a mom, I saw my mom in a very, very different light as compared to before I became a mom. And I felt very sorry for her that she had me as a daughter.
00:34:25
Speaker
And I know I'm not that fucked up. I know that there's like, it can get worse. It can definitely get worse. But like you, I also, it's not just, sorry, it's not just I feel sorry. I'm also very sad. Nah, I can never undo those things anymore. Tapas, I mean, I can change what I can do in the future. I mean, you know, there are some things
00:34:56
Speaker
I can probably still do to make them proud. Peronperosco was a very ministry centric, if that's even a term. Their whole life is revolving around the ministry in the church. And I have grown with my own principles and beliefs, and it's no longer those things that they believe in.
00:35:24
Speaker
And I can only imagine how they are making their peace with it. I can imagine how hard it must be for them. And I am very sad that I'm making my parents feel that way, especially my mom. If I could undo it, I would. But I can't. It's not a switch that I can switch on and off.
00:35:52
Speaker
Strangely enough, the same principles that they have taught me is what led me to what I believe now. Like the morals that we were mentioning earlier, fighting for what is right, equality,
00:36:09
Speaker
Right. Those morals have led me to another path.
Clash of Expectations and Beliefs
00:36:20
Speaker
A very different path than what my parents have envisioned for me, for sure. Yeah.
00:36:31
Speaker
And I think at a very early age, I think they might have seen that coming because I was a very strong-willed child. So, they have already seen my rebellious spirit, which my mom always blamed the devil for.
00:36:57
Speaker
Why blame the devil? Yeah, why bring the devil into this? The devil didn't do anything. Yeah, so I already had that coat and coat rebellious spirit and I think they might have seen it coming. But it breaks my heart to know that I broke their heart in the process of being who I am today. Have you made peace with it? I'm trying to.
00:37:24
Speaker
It still hurts me especially knowing how my mom feels now because I'm a mom too. I think what breaks their heart the most is I no longer share the same
00:37:39
Speaker
beliefs that they have and they brought me up with. Yeah. I think that's what is very hard for them to accept. Yeah. And I'm trying to make my peace with it now. Maybe they will never accept it and I cannot do anything about it anymore. And it hurts because that's what especially my mom
00:38:06
Speaker
That's what matters to her the most, in belief, in personal relationship with God and that. Actually, since you brought that up, this gave me a realization just right now that I think the reason why I couldn't answer that question earlier is because we haven't talked about it. And the reason why we haven't talked about it is because they don't know.
00:38:35
Speaker
They don't know that. My parents don't know that, for example, I practice witchcraft. Oh, yeah. So they don't know that, like, I don't believe in. Yeah, you don't have the same beliefs anymore. Yeah, like I was not brave enough. It's not I was not. I am still not brave enough to like confront them about it. Not as brave as you were when you were confronting your parents about it. And when you were dealing with it,
00:39:05
Speaker
with them, non-college patayo and even after college. Actually, no, I have not dealt with it when I was in college. I was able to deal with it and tell them about it when I already had my own kid. Because I know I had to make a choice, not just for me, but for my children as well. So that is when I had the balls, kombaga, to talk to them about it and to let them know.
00:39:35
Speaker
Here's the thing, I no longer identify. But it's still an act of bravery nonetheless, because other people would just literally. Avoid it. Avoid it, or like self-destruct, or like F-O their parents. Or just pretend. And you know what, however they deal with it is valid, you know, you deal with it and how you feel is most effective for you, I guess, or like,
00:40:05
Speaker
Everybody deals with it differently. I dealt with it like that. Well, the plus side is I no longer have to hide it, right? I no longer have to pretend. However,
00:40:19
Speaker
The price that I have to pay with that freedom is knowing that I've hurt my parents. Yeah. So deep. Yeah. It's like spiritual deep, you know, and especially knowing them the bones. Yeah. Like for them, for my mom, I'm going to bring in hell.
00:40:41
Speaker
And that is like so bad. Like, yeah, that's the worst thing. But for her... It's the eternal damnation. Yeah, I feel you. I understand. What she tells me actually every time is she's like,
00:41:04
Speaker
And I don't know how to react to that. I don't know how to react to that. I don't know how to react to that. I don't know how to react to that anymore. I don't know how to react to that anymore. I don't know how to react to that anymore. I don't know how to react to that anymore. I don't know how to react to that anymore. I don't know how to react to that anymore. I don't know how to react to that anymore. I don't know how to react to that anymore. I don't know how to react to that anymore. I don't know how to react to that anymore. I don't know how to react to that anymore. I don't know how to react to that anymore. I don't know how to react to that anymore. I don't know how to react to that anymore. I don't know how to react to that anymore. I don't know how to react to that anymore. I don't know how to react to that anymore. I don't know how to
00:41:28
Speaker
And like that was me towards my mom. That's why I can't get out. So there was this, oh no, there was this
00:41:58
Speaker
post that I saw about millennials as well who have grown up in church and grown up as Christians and no longer
00:42:10
Speaker
are. And this post said, nah, one thing that makes her sad is she realized that whatever she does in her life, whatever success, whatever problems that she faces, her parents will never, can never be actually proud of her. And that hit me.
00:42:39
Speaker
like outside but you know what that's life you choose your own path and sometimes the path that is best for you may not be the best for other people or they it might be it might be something that will make them sad but at the end of the day it's your life it's your life the expectations that they have of you
00:43:06
Speaker
If you feel like it's not gonna make you happy, then why? Why would you put yourself through it? Other people still want to do it though, and like good for you I guess. A whole I can't say, like it's either my happiness or not really my happiness, it's more like my freedom. This is my path, this is my life.
00:43:30
Speaker
I am sorry, but I do let them know. I always tell my parents that I am grateful. That's what I'm proud to say. Despite everything, I make sure I tell them. I literally tell them, I know this is not what you wanted for me. This is not what you envisioned for me. This was not your expectation.
00:43:55
Speaker
But I want you to know that it's not your fault.
Life Choices Beyond Upbringing
00:43:59
Speaker
If you think this is the wrong path that I'm taking, I take full ownership of the choices that I make because I am an adult now. You have raised me well. And I hope you have peace in knowing that you have raised me in the best way that you knew.
00:44:21
Speaker
But the choices that I make from this point forward are mine because this is my life at the end of the day. And I hope you make peace with the thought that I am happy now. I am happier now. You don't have to. It's okay. I respect that. But I hope...
00:44:47
Speaker
I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it.
00:45:16
Speaker
I don't know if it's applicable or not, but if it's not applicable, I don't know what it is. But if it's not applicable, I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. What do you mean by that? What do you mean by that? What do you mean by that? What do you mean by that? What do you mean by that? What do you mean by that? What do you mean by that?
00:45:42
Speaker
It's been a long time since COVID-19. It's been a long time since COVID-19. It's been a long time since COVID-19. It's been a long time since COVID-19. It's been a long time since COVID-19.
00:46:06
Speaker
I don't know how to say it but I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it but I don't know how to say it but I don't know how to say it but I don't know how to say it but I don't know how to say it but I don't know how to say it but I don't know how to say it.
00:46:28
Speaker
What is your specific question? What is your specific answer? In a general sense, in a general sense, I feel like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling like I'm feeling
00:46:57
Speaker
to have a conversation with my children. Oh, you are having that conversation. Kaima, on why they believe that, trying to understand where they're coming from, where they got that. I will approach it in a nonjudgmental way and hear them out, why? I will try to, you know,
00:47:28
Speaker
To be honest, I don't really know. I'm not sure if this makes me a bad mom or makes me a bad person. But I don't know if they believe in that. I don't know if they believe in that. And if they really believed in that after like, let's say.
00:47:52
Speaker
What would it make you feel? Of course it would make me sad. The same way I make my parents sad.
00:48:10
Speaker
I cannot then, I would be lying if I say it wouldn't make me mad for even just a bit, right? It would make me upset. But if at the end of the day, I don't want to do anything, I don't want to do anything. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to do anything for a free will, free will. This is my life. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to do anything at adults. I don't want to do anything.
00:48:40
Speaker
Oh, yeah, Eddie, he's not funny when I need you when I'm a guy go up over the big game of Barcelona. We begin mop up Barcelona allowance in both. And then I say, no, no, no college or college or third year college. No, no, no, no.
00:49:14
Speaker
We try to change the things that we can change and let go of the things that we can no longer change.
00:49:28
Speaker
Beryl, whatever makes them happy, my goal as a parent, as a mom, is I would try my best to bring up my children. I would be lying if I say that I don't have any expectations. Beryl, Angol, Ko, Sana, is to bring them up into like- In such a way they should go and bend each other.
00:50:15
Speaker
I'm going to edit that shit now. The goal as a mom is to make sure that
00:50:21
Speaker
No, like bring them up as kind people and people who are...
00:50:32
Speaker
Do my
Future Expectations for Children
00:50:33
Speaker
best. I will control what I can, which is myself. And I will do my best to bring them up in the best way that I could. I will, of course, improve all the things that I can improve. I know I have a lot to go. I mean, I have... I have a lot to work on. I have an improvement as a person. Because I'm still growing. I'm still growing myself. So...
00:51:01
Speaker
I'll do my best in bringing them up in the right way that I know. And when the time comes and they have to choose their own path. I will be happy with that. It's very minimum, yes, but... It's not very minimum. I guess, I don't know, but...
00:51:30
Speaker
I have big dreams for my children, but I'm not going to impose that on them. I hope that they will be successful in whatever they do. And when I say successful, I don't just mean make a lot of money, but like, at least you're happy with what you do. But I know for a fact that money has a lot to do with being happy right now. Oh my God, that should be a topic.
00:51:55
Speaker
I will try to lead them that way. Like I think I will just try to suggest Ganon. But I will not impose them. Anyway.
Invitation to Share Stories
00:52:05
Speaker
Yeah. Last question for you.
00:52:16
Speaker
I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it.
00:52:46
Speaker
So, I hope you liked that episode. Let us know your thoughts about it. If you had parents who had weird or strange or unusual or something that you'd like to share with us, their expectations of you, you feel like you can relate to the story, please feel free to tweet about it, comment, post, share. Follow us on our social media platforms, I mean, accounts.
00:53:14
Speaker
and instagram and facebook and twitter and yeah did i miss anything also we still are accepting letters of you know how to move on any kind of story that you feel like you want to share particularly among a topic is like your most embarrassing stories
00:53:39
Speaker
also stories about moving on from your ex, or maybe even about the current relationship. Yeah. Basically, we just want you guys to send in stories to us. I know my decision, but really, when we say we want to hear from you, it's in theory, we really do want to hear from you. And if you want to share your story. Don't worry, only three people will listen.
00:54:13
Speaker
And again, thank you guys for sticking with us in this episode. If it was too bleak or too sad. I'm so sorry. I hope it helps you reflect a bit. Char. No, we do. Like, you are also a disappointment. But one thing's for sure, we are so proud of you. Whatever you're going through right now, for sure you've been through a lot.
00:54:32
Speaker
I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it.
00:54:42
Speaker
Yeah. Because you're a millennial. We're proud that you have made it even up to this day. Yes. Getting to listen to this podcast. I know. So proud of you. You should tap yourself in the butt. In the butt. Anyway, so I'll see you there. I'll see you next time. And this is... Is this thing on? The podcast. Oh my god, that was good.