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101 Plays2 years ago
"What is grief, if not love persevering?"
Pak, odzivuh, first line palang, ang lalim agad ng hugot.
In this episode, sinamahan kami ng isa sa mga kumare naming si Mogs to finally sit down and process our bottled emotions (sabi kasi senyo, therapy session talaga namin to) and have the conversation that has been long overdue.
Here we talked briefly (pero daming kwinento) about our experiences and memories--both the happy and sad-- about the last presidential elections, particularly our experiences as Kakampinks.
From the announcement of the former VP Leni's candidacy for presidency, to People's Rallies, to the Voting Day and Election results, linabas na namin lahat ng naramdaman namin. In a nutshell: masakit pa din hahahhahuhuhuhu
We also talk about the differences in how we processed our grief afterward, how we cope, and how we try to move forward and keep hoping, in spite of the setbacks and disappointments.
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Transcript
Mercury Retrograde Confusion
00:00:01
Speaker
What's happening now?
00:00:02
Speaker
Mercury retrograde!
00:00:03
Speaker
How long?
00:00:04
Speaker
How long?
00:00:05
Speaker
How long?
00:00:06
Speaker
I thought it was done.
00:00:08
Speaker
I want us to talk about two, then suddenly there are the third voices.
00:00:15
Speaker
Charge!
00:00:15
Speaker
Wait, start now?
00:00:19
Speaker
We're just going to go.
00:00:22
Speaker
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
00:00:25
Speaker
Let's do
Excitement for Special Guest
00:00:26
Speaker
this.
00:00:26
Speaker
Actually, very exciting itong episode na to kasi tatlo tayo dito ngayon nag-uusap.
00:00:31
Speaker
Meron nga tayong special guest.
00:00:33
Speaker
Inulit mo lang.
00:00:34
Speaker
Daryl, sabi mo ko sino yung guest natin ngayon?
Guest Introduction and Banter
00:00:40
Speaker
Actually, yung guest natin ngayon ay isa sa mga matalik natin kay Digan.
00:00:45
Speaker
Kabahe ko siya for how many years?
00:00:47
Speaker
Ganyan.
00:00:48
Speaker
Tapos nilayasang ko siya.
00:00:50
Speaker
Charret!
00:00:53
Speaker
True.
00:01:18
Speaker
Let's get started with our guest.
00:01:20
Speaker
Guest in charge.
00:01:21
Speaker
Hi guys!
00:01:22
Speaker
So, I'm the very nice friend of Daryl's friend.
00:01:24
Speaker
Charge!
00:01:36
Speaker
And Marien Cash.
00:01:38
Speaker
Me, Moggs, by the way.
00:01:40
Speaker
I'm sorry.
00:01:40
Speaker
We're halfway through the episode.
00:01:41
Speaker
What do you say to the listeners?
00:01:44
Speaker
What's his name again?
00:01:45
Speaker
Anyway, what about you?
00:01:47
Speaker
What about you here?
00:01:47
Speaker
Yes.
00:01:59
Speaker
If you're happy, you're happy.
00:02:02
Speaker
Plus three concepts.
00:02:03
Speaker
We're so happy.
00:02:07
Speaker
We're so happy before recording.
00:02:10
Speaker
Actually, we decided to make our Mugs for this episode.
00:02:17
Speaker
I think she's one of the best people who could give us more stories about our topic for this episode.
00:02:26
Speaker
Correct.
00:02:27
Speaker
Why are we still in this episode?
00:02:29
Speaker
You can't know if it's a crazy episode.
00:02:32
Speaker
As always.
00:02:35
Speaker
So anyway, Darryl, what's the topic
Presidential Campaign Emotions
00:02:37
Speaker
of our topic?
00:02:37
Speaker
And why is our topic?
00:02:41
Speaker
We decided to do a topic now because there are a lot of people who have triggered a lot.
00:02:47
Speaker
Some songs we hear on YouTube, we have to laugh.
00:02:50
Speaker
The colors we see in the world are triggered.
00:02:55
Speaker
We talked about it and I also noticed that we haven't really sat down and talked about what happened.
00:03:04
Speaker
And I think, maybe it's about time that
00:03:08
Speaker
Pwede na tayo umopo.
00:03:09
Speaker
Medyo na-process na natin yung first stages of grief.
00:03:14
Speaker
Pwede na natin pag-usapan ng hindi umiiyak at hindi nagagalit.
00:03:19
Speaker
Feeling ko lang, pero tingnan natin, malay mo bigla may umiiyak dito.
00:03:23
Speaker
Kayo lang.
00:03:24
Speaker
Ako parang nastak ako dun sa spiteful, ano, bitch stage.
00:03:28
Speaker
Parang hindi ata ko nakamuun.
00:03:31
Speaker
Ganun.
00:03:33
Speaker
I'm still rolling my eyes.
00:03:34
Speaker
That's fine.
00:03:37
Speaker
But anyways, at least we'll talk about it right now.
00:03:40
Speaker
Because we actually never debriefed on this.
00:03:44
Speaker
We kind of had to grieve on our own, by ourselves, and it was hard.
00:03:49
Speaker
Because it's hard to process.
00:03:52
Speaker
For me, when I process it with people who were so compassionate about it, we'll be able to get out of the dark
00:04:03
Speaker
Darker room, darker stage.
00:04:05
Speaker
Kasi patong-patong yung mga disappointment, heartbreaks.
00:04:12
Speaker
Eh, parang wala pa ata sa atin yung, at the time, wala pa sa atin yung tanggap na, move on na.
00:04:19
Speaker
Walang bigger person.
00:04:21
Speaker
Nakakatawa na pinag-uusapan na natin siya, pero hindi pa natin exactly nasabi ko ano yung topic.
00:04:28
Speaker
Gulo na outline na yan.
00:04:30
Speaker
Ha ha ha ha.
00:04:33
Speaker
But yes, our topic for this episode would be our experiences.
Campaign Experiences and Hope
00:04:38
Speaker
during the last presidential campaign.
00:04:42
Speaker
So, if you're a fan of your fan, welcome!
00:04:45
Speaker
This may be your episode.
00:04:46
Speaker
If you're not a fan of your fan, you're welcome to stick around and listen as to why it was very hard for us or why we were so happy.
00:04:57
Speaker
But one thing I can say, from the start, it was an experience of a lifetime.
00:05:05
Speaker
But yeah, before we go and go deeper, let's introduce ourselves again.
00:05:12
Speaker
I'm Kesh.
00:05:13
Speaker
And I'm Daryl.
00:05:15
Speaker
And this is... Is this thing on?
00:05:19
Speaker
The podcast!
00:05:22
Speaker
Okay, okay.
00:05:24
Speaker
Ito na, ito na.
00:05:27
Speaker
Okay, so...
00:05:31
Speaker
First question, I guess, was, Atabogs, what did you feel when you learned about the presidential candidates?
00:05:40
Speaker
Parang nung narinig ko yung mga unang nag-file ng candidacy, parang, ay, okay.
00:05:48
Speaker
Geh, ganun.
00:05:49
Speaker
Parang, I did not feel any excitement.
00:05:53
Speaker
Parang, this feels like your old, typical election, ganyan.
00:05:58
Speaker
Yeah.
00:05:59
Speaker
Tapos, meron pang, ano, disappointment.
00:06:02
Speaker
Or, hindi naman, parang expected disappointment na nung
00:06:06
Speaker
I hear the current admin now.
00:06:12
Speaker
But when Lenny announced or proclaimed her candidacy, you know the feeling that there's some sense of hope.
00:06:21
Speaker
Like light at the edge of the tunnel, my feeling.
00:06:24
Speaker
And I remember that I was thinking,
00:06:28
Speaker
We were in the house, and I was going to be a little bit of a little bit of a little bit.
00:06:36
Speaker
I was happy to share that moment with Daryl.
00:06:38
Speaker
Do you know what Daryl is?
00:06:40
Speaker
We're in the kitchen.
00:06:44
Speaker
There's a lot of love in the Philippines.
00:06:48
Speaker
How about you guys?
00:06:50
Speaker
Ako, ano eh, ang naalala ko lang super noon ay sobrang saya ko.
00:06:54
Speaker
Kasi, yun nga, parang it's like a breath of fresh air.
00:06:57
Speaker
Tapos, alam mo yung pakiramdam na feeling mo na nalo ka na.
00:07:00
Speaker
Ang feeling mo, fuck, sobrang nakakapagod.
00:07:04
Speaker
Ayun, parang naalala ko noon na super hopeful ka lang.
00:07:08
Speaker
Kasi alam naman natin kung gaano naging...
00:07:12
Speaker
dreadful yung recent years of the pandemic at kung paano tayo train nato ng administration.
00:07:18
Speaker
Tapos to hear na there could be an end to that pattern of governance.
00:07:25
Speaker
It made me so happy.
00:07:26
Speaker
It made me so excited to the point na I said na mag-invest ako ng energy, ng emotion, ng pera, ng oras for this campaign.
Motivation and Challenges in Campaign
00:07:36
Speaker
Ako nung nalaman ko, actually, I was, ano eh, I wasn't on my phone.
00:07:41
Speaker
I wasn't, eh, wala naman kaming TV na, yung TV namin, parang nakakonek lang sa Netflix at saka sa YouTube.
00:07:47
Speaker
So wala kaming nasasagap na balita unless I go to Facebook.
00:07:52
Speaker
Tapos nagulat na lang ako when it was, hindi ko alam kung umaga ba yun o gabi o or hapon.
00:07:58
Speaker
I already forgot.
00:08:00
Speaker
But what I did remember was I saw everyone was posting pink.
00:08:06
Speaker
A lot of people were already showing support and were very happy.
00:08:12
Speaker
And then I confirmed that the Attorney Lenny was going to die.
00:08:18
Speaker
And I was very... I was not actually registered.
00:08:21
Speaker
I was just going to register that.
00:08:27
Speaker
But it was so long for me to come in the Comilect and where I can register.
00:08:36
Speaker
And then when I announced Lenny, I was going to fall.
00:08:38
Speaker
So I really finished my register for the Voters Registration.
00:08:46
Speaker
And yeah, tama yung sinabi ni Ate Mugs, yung sense of hope.
00:08:50
Speaker
Kasi diba nung pandemic, yung office of the vice president yung nakikita nating gumagalaw.
00:08:57
Speaker
True.
00:08:58
Speaker
True.
00:08:59
Speaker
Ang dark kasi nung feeling nung pandemic.
00:09:02
Speaker
Parang naka-lockdown ka.
00:09:04
Speaker
Tapos you feel hopeless.
00:09:06
Speaker
Tapos you hear news about people suffering.
00:09:10
Speaker
Tapos parang ako, may frustration ako towards the administration at the time.
00:09:16
Speaker
Kasi parang may lack of action.
00:09:19
Speaker
Tapos yung, alam mo yung symbol of leadership sana na dapat...
00:09:24
Speaker
na-feel mo sa isang pangulo, parang doon mo siya pinakakailangan eh.
00:09:29
Speaker
Right?
00:09:30
Speaker
Parang ano sana eh, parang yung presence sana ng leader ang dapat mag-uplift ng mga spirits natin kasi nga, pandemic was really a dark time.
00:09:40
Speaker
Pero kasi yung nangyayari noon is parang yun nga, the presence of the leadership before was not really felt in a way that it was assuring, reassuring
00:09:54
Speaker
So, for me, again, as I've said before, Lenny's candidacy felt like a light at the end of a very dark tunnel.
00:10:09
Speaker
All the shitty things, all the suffering, there's a hope to end it.
00:10:15
Speaker
Hindi lang actually pandemic eh.
00:10:17
Speaker
Yung pandemic yung nag-highlight nung kung an naman yung competency ng government natin.
00:10:23
Speaker
Pero kasi pagod na tayo.
00:10:26
Speaker
Simula pa lang.
00:10:28
Speaker
Ang daming namamatay.
00:10:30
Speaker
Wala namang pangakong natutupad.
00:10:32
Speaker
Puro na lang PR.
00:10:34
Speaker
Puro na lang...
00:10:35
Speaker
Drama.
00:10:36
Speaker
Diba?
00:10:37
Speaker
Ganon.
00:10:37
Speaker
Nakakapagod kaya yung ganon?
00:10:39
Speaker
Kung ikaw ay isang Pilipinong nakikiba ka sa pang-araw-araw na pamumuhay to think na you have to have a stable job, you have to have food, you have to have like shelter.
00:10:51
Speaker
Diba?
00:10:51
Speaker
Nakakapagod.
00:10:53
Speaker
Diba?
00:10:53
Speaker
So, we all were excited for that phase of our lives to end and to like start a better one with like better governance.
00:11:03
Speaker
Kaya
Social Media and Personal Growth
00:11:04
Speaker
ayun.
00:11:04
Speaker
Eh, nung campaign period ba, nung sinabi ba ni Lenny, nahalala ko eh, nung sinabi ni Lenny, natatakbo siya for the presidency.
00:11:15
Speaker
Alam natin na hindi naman ganun kadali, diba, to battle, for example, these oligarch politicians.
00:11:24
Speaker
Sa una pa lang ba, naisip mo na na tutulong ka?
00:11:28
Speaker
Oo, pero sabi ko hanggang social media lang ako kasi nga maarte ako, introverted, maraming requirements sa buhay, ayokong napapagod.
00:11:41
Speaker
You know, because I have a history in life.
00:11:43
Speaker
For example, when our class at Baguio, I didn't go to all meetings of the org because there were a lot of studies.
00:11:50
Speaker
So I said, I'll help on Facebook and Twitter.
00:12:05
Speaker
Eh, anyari.
00:12:07
Speaker
Alam mo, hindi ko din alam.
00:12:08
Speaker
Yan yung gusto kong maintindihan eh.
00:12:09
Speaker
Yan yung gusto kong maintindihan.
00:12:10
Speaker
Kasi sabi mo, oo, sige, tutulung ako sa social media.
00:12:12
Speaker
I want to share ako.
00:12:13
Speaker
Yeah, I remember.
00:12:15
Speaker
Tapos, like, magulat-gulat ako, ikaw yung nag-house-to-house campaign bigla at uma-attend pang rallies.
00:12:26
Speaker
What's going on, Mari?
00:12:29
Speaker
You're going to be able to do it?
00:12:31
Speaker
Yes, we're going to be able to do it.
00:12:32
Speaker
To the exciting part.
00:12:34
Speaker
To the exciting part.
00:12:35
Speaker
I'll put you there.
00:12:37
Speaker
There are a lot of layers, right, that's what happened to me.
00:12:43
Speaker
Parang there are lessons that I already know in life because of my educational upbringing that I have to learn again because of this fucking pandemic.
00:12:54
Speaker
Parang ano, dati nawi-witness ko rin yung reality, tapos nagsisimpathize ako dun sa mga tao, ngayon sinampal ako.
00:13:04
Speaker
Parang I learned that no matter what your privileges are in life, if your healthcare sucks,
00:13:13
Speaker
you're gonna die.
00:13:15
Speaker
Yeah.
00:13:16
Speaker
Oo, oo talaga.
00:13:17
Speaker
Parang aanhin mo pa yung insurance, aanhin mo pa yung pera, pambayad sa ospital, kung hindi ka nga matatanggap kasi punuan na lahat.
00:13:27
Speaker
So, ayun, sinampal ako ng ganong reality na I know it happens, but I didn't think that it can happen to me that way.
00:13:35
Speaker
Many times.
00:13:36
Speaker
Yeah.
00:13:37
Speaker
Yeah, multiple times.
00:13:39
Speaker
Multiple times.
00:13:40
Speaker
So I've been through that.
00:13:41
Speaker
So parang ako, hindi ko agad siya na-realize, agad-agad nung tumakbo si Lenny.
00:13:49
Speaker
I realized it when I was already somewhat immersing to the campaign but not totally.
00:13:56
Speaker
I realized that, oh my God, this is not just my principles, this is not just my ideology, but actually this is something that I have to fight for because my family and I experienced systemic struggles, especially in the healthcare.
00:14:15
Speaker
So...
00:14:16
Speaker
It was not just a fight for what I believed in, but it was the fight of our lives.
00:14:22
Speaker
Because apparently, if your government sucks, the people you love will really die.
00:14:28
Speaker
Yeah, yeah.
00:14:29
Speaker
It is what it is.
00:14:30
Speaker
So, in a nutshell, I think my motivation was really fueled by my grief.
00:14:38
Speaker
Kaya grabe yung energy ko.
00:14:41
Speaker
Parang knowing myself, hindi talaga ako ganun.
00:14:43
Speaker
Hindi ako people person.
00:14:45
Speaker
I mean, kaya ko.
00:14:47
Speaker
Pero hindi ako genuine.
00:14:48
Speaker
Parang kailangan kong i-orient yung sarili ko that I am gonna go out, I am going to be a pleasing personality person.
00:14:56
Speaker
But with Lenny, it happened naturally.
00:14:59
Speaker
And for me, I think I was being genuine when I was going out, meeting people, talking to people.
00:15:09
Speaker
And how was the experience when you were already doing, you know, those?
00:15:16
Speaker
So what was the experience?
00:15:17
Speaker
What were you doing?
00:15:18
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:15:19
Speaker
What were you doing?
00:15:19
Speaker
How was it?
00:15:22
Speaker
Ah, grabe.
00:15:23
Speaker
It was really going out of my shell and my comfort zone.
00:15:27
Speaker
If you really know me as a person, na ano, ay, masakit yung likod ko.
00:15:32
Speaker
Masakit sa tuhod yan.
00:15:36
Speaker
So yung ginagawa ko noon is every week, talagang nag-house to house ako with volunteers, youth volunteers of Pasig, and also tita volunteers of Pasig.
00:15:49
Speaker
So hindi ko sila kakilala.
00:15:51
Speaker
to begin with.
00:15:52
Speaker
Parang may sign-up form, nag-sign up ako dun.
00:15:55
Speaker
Tapos yun pa yung proclamation rally sa Quezon City.
00:15:58
Speaker
Yeah.
00:15:59
Speaker
Oo, oo.
00:16:00
Speaker
As an ambivert person, very introvert, I signed up as a volunteer for Lenny.
00:16:09
Speaker
Tapos nag-attend ako ng Quezon City rally with people I don't know.
00:16:13
Speaker
Tapos, ayun, parang kinapalan ko na lang yung mukha ko.
00:16:17
Speaker
Nakikipag-chika-chika na lang ako.
00:16:19
Speaker
Ganyan.
00:16:19
Speaker
Hi Ate, taga-binog, pinagbuhatan po ako, ganyan.
00:16:23
Speaker
Tapos ano, dun nag-create na sila ng ano, parang chat group.
00:16:27
Speaker
Yung pangalan pa ang cute-cute, Ka Pink Bahay.
00:16:30
Speaker
Ka Pink Bahay.
00:16:31
Speaker
Ka Pink Bahay.
00:16:32
Speaker
So cute.
00:16:35
Speaker
Then I was organized a weekly house-to-house.
00:16:40
Speaker
So I was involved.
00:16:42
Speaker
So it wasn't just after the QBC rally, it was house-to-house.
00:16:46
Speaker
It started around April.
00:16:47
Speaker
So I was like, you know, I'm going to get a kit-kit.
00:16:54
Speaker
I was like, okay, I'm going to house to house.
00:16:57
Speaker
We were with Daryl.
00:17:00
Speaker
Daryl, you know, the issue was, the mindset was to reach as many streets as we can.
00:17:08
Speaker
There are a lot of skinnitas that will come, a lot of flyers that will give you.
00:17:14
Speaker
What's that?
00:17:15
Speaker
It's not good because we always have to look at our friends.
00:17:19
Speaker
Really?
00:17:22
Speaker
I think we should be saturated with the area.
00:17:25
Speaker
Not really strategic.
00:17:27
Speaker
Then we were like, bird dance.
00:17:32
Speaker
I'm like, oh, what's up?
00:17:37
Speaker
Iron.
00:17:39
Speaker
For some reason, I kind of reflected
Personal Reflections and Grief
00:17:42
Speaker
on myself.
00:17:42
Speaker
I was like, oh, I'm so angry at social media as a Lenin supporter.
00:17:48
Speaker
But I'm not a volunteer because I only get the easier job.
00:17:58
Speaker
So I said, I want to be self-aware and I want to be more aligned with my values and with my goal as a Leni volunteer.
00:18:08
Speaker
So I decided, okay, let's commit here.
00:18:15
Speaker
I became house-to-house coordinator.
00:18:18
Speaker
From Saliket-Ket.
00:18:19
Speaker
I was not sure.
00:18:19
Speaker
I was not sure.
00:18:20
Speaker
I was not sure.
00:18:21
Speaker
I was not sure.
00:18:22
Speaker
I was not sure.
00:18:23
Speaker
I was not sure.
00:18:25
Speaker
I was not sure.
00:18:26
Speaker
I was not sure.
00:18:27
Speaker
I was not sure.
00:18:28
Speaker
I was not sure.
00:18:28
Speaker
I was not sure.
00:18:29
Speaker
I was not sure.
00:18:30
Speaker
I was not sure.
00:18:31
Speaker
I was not sure.
00:18:32
Speaker
I was not sure.
00:18:33
Speaker
I was not sure.
00:18:34
Speaker
I was not sure.
00:18:34
Speaker
I was not sure.
00:18:44
Speaker
Oh, kasi bagong lipat lang tayo dyan eh, sa area na yun.
00:18:47
Speaker
Pero parang ano naman, I found my way, na hindi ko pala talaga strength yung geography as a house-to-house coordinator.
00:18:57
Speaker
Parang yung strength ko pala is in, dun nga, sa accounting, orienting people, na bago tayo pumunta sa mga kanto-kanto, what is our strategy,
00:19:10
Speaker
But I'm not going to lead because they will lose.
00:19:14
Speaker
I'm going to delegate.
00:19:17
Speaker
I'm going to delegate.
00:19:22
Speaker
Maliban sa, siguro maliban sa house to house, alam ko na nakapunta ka rin sa mga rallies and those were the big rallies.
00:19:31
Speaker
How was that for you?
00:19:33
Speaker
Well, for me, sa Pasig, sa Makati, sa QC.
00:19:40
Speaker
Hindi kasi, hindi ko kaya yung ginagawa nyo na halos lahat ng rally na pwede nyong puntahan, pinupunta.
00:19:47
Speaker
Pero ang dami naman mong napuntahan.
00:19:50
Speaker
Isa lang naman ang kailangan dun.
00:19:52
Speaker
Oo.
00:19:53
Speaker
Iyon nga kasi nga ako, self-proclaimed titas of youth vote for Lenny at the time.
00:20:00
Speaker
Parang kasama ko yung mga bata pag nag-rally.
00:20:04
Speaker
Oo kasi nung pupunta kami, si Kes yata, di ba Kes, pupunta ka din sa mga rally?
00:20:09
Speaker
Yes.
00:20:09
Speaker
Oo.
00:20:10
Speaker
Tapos kung paano tayo pumunta doon, nakasasakyan tayo, di ba?
00:20:13
Speaker
Nag-rally tayo.
00:20:15
Speaker
Oo.
00:20:15
Speaker
Ito si Bakla.
00:20:16
Speaker
Iba yata yung experience.
00:20:18
Speaker
Ayun.
00:20:19
Speaker
Parang... Kasi yung sa Pasig delegation, talagang naka-delegate.
00:20:25
Speaker
May delegation talaga.
00:20:26
Speaker
Ganyan.
00:20:27
Speaker
May mga props na dinadala.
00:20:29
Speaker
Like...
00:20:30
Speaker
Ang dami mong bit-bit.
00:20:32
Speaker
Yun pala yung reality nun.
00:20:33
Speaker
Kasi may mga flaglets, pink balloons.
00:20:35
Speaker
Logistics ng mga bagay-bagay.
00:20:38
Speaker
Oo, logistics ng bagay-bagay.
00:20:40
Speaker
Tapos hindi siya ganun kadali kasi di ba may mga sponsored na jeeps, sponsored na parang shuttle, parang may designation.
00:20:49
Speaker
Talaga ba?
00:20:50
Speaker
Tapos madaming business owners sa Pasig.
00:20:54
Speaker
ang nag-sponsor nung campaigns in a way na they would give financial support to weekly house-to-house campaigns.
00:21:03
Speaker
Tapos, they would sponsor for example, sa Makati, meron nakipag-coordinate sa akin na businessman ng Pasig.
00:21:15
Speaker
Hindi ko kasi, hindi ko alam kung gusto niya magpa-drop ng name or gustong sabihin yung pangalan niya because, you know, some people, they really
00:21:24
Speaker
Um, nag-sponsor siya ng 20 jeeps for the Makati MDA.
00:21:31
Speaker
Para may mga youth from Pasig.
00:21:38
Speaker
Makapunta.
00:21:40
Speaker
Originally, ang goal is para yung mga youth ng Pasig madala sa Makati and makauwi sila safely.
00:21:47
Speaker
But there were a lot of extra jeeps that were sold, so I think there were six.
00:21:54
Speaker
So, that time we were able to give free rides to Makati.
00:22:01
Speaker
People who wanted to go to the rallies, right?
00:22:05
Speaker
Kasi diba chinechismis, nakakaloka na chinechismis na hinahakot.
00:22:10
Speaker
Eh hindi naman hinahakot yung mga tao.
00:22:12
Speaker
Like, they were the people who were going, wanted to go.
00:22:16
Speaker
And people were volunteering.
00:22:17
Speaker
So kasi nasabihin kayong bayan, diba?
00:22:19
Speaker
Like, bayarin daw kayo.
00:22:22
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:22:41
Speaker
Usually, we don't cover the budget of house-to-house because sometimes there are a lot of people who have to eat all the water.
00:22:54
Speaker
So, if you have to adjust, you may cover a expense, that's why it's not that.
00:23:02
Speaker
The most important thing about it was one role I fulfilled that I never thought I would was to be a barker of a jeep.
00:23:12
Speaker
Did I say it right?
00:23:13
Speaker
Yes, barker.
00:23:15
Speaker
Barker.
00:23:16
Speaker
Barker.
00:23:17
Speaker
What does the barker of a jeep do?
Camaraderie and Volunteerism
00:23:23
Speaker
Yung parang nagtatawag ka ng mga pasahero, pero it was such a fun experience because, ano, grabe yung spirit of camaraderie and volunteerism.
00:23:35
Speaker
Tapos parang people jive instantly.
00:23:39
Speaker
Kasi yung time namin, nung time ko for the Makati MDA, di ba nga yun yung na-delegate sa akin was the transportation.
00:23:50
Speaker
So, parang merong natirang jeep ata na walang laman.
00:23:55
Speaker
So, sayang, di ba?
00:23:56
Speaker
Ang ginawa namin is umikot-ikot kami sa mga kanto ng Pasig.
00:24:02
Speaker
Tapos, pag nakita namin na nakapink or may dalang streamer or props for the Lenny Rally, tinatanong namin, papunta po kayong Makati, ganyan.
00:24:11
Speaker
Libreng sakay po.
00:24:13
Speaker
Tas, ayun, sumasakay naman sila, ganyan.
00:24:16
Speaker
Tas, naghahanap kami ng mga crowds, ng mga nakakampink.
00:24:19
Speaker
Then when they go to the Jeep, you think you'll be friends immediately.
00:24:23
Speaker
That's what made the campaign so special and so unforgettable.
00:24:30
Speaker
And it was definitely an experience that you would never even imagine that could happen.
00:24:37
Speaker
Kasi I remember yun, yung sinasabi yung kinukwenta mo kanina ate Mugs about yung spirit of volunteerism.
00:24:45
Speaker
And I've never seen that before for years.
00:24:50
Speaker
the entirety of my 27 years of existence.
00:24:54
Speaker
I've never seen that before, especially in a political campaign.
00:24:58
Speaker
It's usually, the traditional way is hinahakot, and that has always been the norm, na babayaran ka, sumama ka sa rally, at madaming pupunta, and after nun, okay, alis na.
00:25:11
Speaker
Pero yung campaign na to, it was so different.
00:25:15
Speaker
Kasi in every aspect, like everybody was contributing whatever they could, whether it be time, talent, financial, or just energy.
00:25:28
Speaker
And it was so...
00:25:30
Speaker
Like Daryl said earlier, it was a breath of fresh air to see that, especially after a very, very dark and difficult time during the pandemic.
00:25:41
Speaker
We could just do this, to be able to do this.
00:25:50
Speaker
It was beautiful.
00:25:52
Speaker
The experiences I've had when going to the rallies were, they were very overwhelming, but in a very good way.
00:26:01
Speaker
Kasi, natandaan ko yung pinakauna kong...
00:26:06
Speaker
Rally was going to... Sana yun, Darryl?
00:26:10
Speaker
Kasama kita nun eh.
00:26:11
Speaker
Magkakasama tayo nun.
00:26:12
Speaker
Ortigas.
00:26:13
Speaker
Ortigas.
00:26:13
Speaker
Pasiglaban.
00:26:15
Speaker
O, Pasiglaban.
00:26:16
Speaker
Kasi hindi ako nakapunta nung nag-rally sa Bulacan.
00:26:20
Speaker
Kasi yung rally nun sa Bulacan, eh nasa malayong part ng Bulacan.
00:26:24
Speaker
Wala kami.
00:26:25
Speaker
Tapos wala akong kasama.
00:26:26
Speaker
So, sumama akong kanila, Darryl.
00:26:30
Speaker
Tapos natandaan ko, yung papunta pa lang kami doon, ay shit, naiiyak na ako.
00:26:35
Speaker
What?
00:26:37
Speaker
Hindi, kasi natatandaan ko na ang daming tao na naglalakha, tapos nakikita mo lahat nakapink, lahat silang masaya, lahat silang like excited, na parang concert yung pupuntahan na hindi mo maintindihan.
00:26:49
Speaker
Pero hindi mo mag-concert.
00:26:50
Speaker
Tapos everybody was just so freaking happy and full of energy.
00:26:56
Speaker
And you could feel the hope.
00:26:59
Speaker
that you're making hope.
00:27:02
Speaker
That's how we want to change, not the right kind of change.
00:27:11
Speaker
And it gave me so much hope.
00:27:12
Speaker
I remember the moment I stepped into Ortigas, where it was in Pasig, one of the most famous streets in that street.
00:27:25
Speaker
Emerald.
00:27:26
Speaker
It was just so happy.
00:27:28
Speaker
And I was so overwhelmed to that point that I was going to panic attack because I didn't believe.
00:27:37
Speaker
It filled me with so much hope that, oh my God, there is a better future for us and for my children too.
00:27:47
Speaker
And I was so, so happy.
00:27:51
Speaker
What was your first rally experience?
00:27:54
Speaker
Or if not the first one, I guess one of the most memorable ones.
00:27:57
Speaker
Kasi ang dami mo inattendang rally eh.
00:28:02
Speaker
Tibay ng likod niyan eh.
00:28:04
Speaker
Oo, siguro overview lang ay hindi ko na malala kung ano specifically yung mga inattendan ko.
00:28:10
Speaker
Pero marami mong inattendan.
00:28:12
Speaker
Kasi doon ako bumabawi.
00:28:13
Speaker
Like, kung kailangan akong sumigaw-sigaw to build the crowd, to help build the crowd, I would.
00:28:20
Speaker
Gagawa ko ng placard.
00:28:22
Speaker
Pupunta kami sa bookstore, ganyan, sa BGC.
00:28:26
Speaker
Kaya sa Pasig para bumili ng stuff.
00:28:28
Speaker
Tapos gagawa ng mga placards.
00:28:31
Speaker
Tapos naalala nyo ba yung may mga something, yung blank for Lenny, ganyan.
00:28:36
Speaker
Oo.
00:28:36
Speaker
May mga ganon.
00:28:37
Speaker
Yun nga.
00:28:38
Speaker
Actually, magandang pakinggan yung mga sinasabi nyo kasi...
00:28:40
Speaker
It brings me back.
00:28:42
Speaker
It brings me back to those days na bakit ang saya-saya.
00:28:47
Speaker
Tapos ngayon, nalungkot-lungkot ko na lang as a person.
00:28:51
Speaker
Ano ko din, Mugs, di ba?
00:28:54
Speaker
Oo.
00:28:54
Speaker
Yun yung pinakaunang big rally na sobrang daming tao.
00:28:59
Speaker
Oo.
00:28:59
Speaker
Pero yun nga, ano ako nun eh, titas of youth vote.
00:29:03
Speaker
So... Mayroon siyang mga ano nun.
00:29:06
Speaker
May mga kasama ka nun.
00:29:08
Speaker
Magkahiwalay tayo.
00:29:10
Speaker
Oo, nagkahiwalay tayo.
00:29:12
Speaker
Alam mo, doon ako, feeling ko, yun yung malungkot ako about Dararye.
00:29:15
Speaker
Kasi parang I had responsibilities.
00:29:19
Speaker
So hindi ko siya na-enjoy with you guys.
00:29:23
Speaker
So parang... Parang nung sa Makati, medyo naingit ako na ayaw magkakasama sila.
00:29:28
Speaker
Franz, sila Darryl.
00:29:32
Speaker
Alam mo yun, parang there's another side to it.
00:29:34
Speaker
Pero ako, I'm very happy that I was able to help Pasig delegation.
00:29:39
Speaker
I was able to
00:29:41
Speaker
Somehow, I was able to bring youth votes to Pasig, Makati, and others.
00:29:48
Speaker
Naku, Ate Mawis.
00:29:50
Speaker
If you know, we were all so envious of you because you were so productive.
00:29:56
Speaker
If not envious, if envious is not the right word, I guess the right word would be proud.
00:30:02
Speaker
We were so proud of you.
00:30:04
Speaker
So proud of you.
00:30:05
Speaker
When you were bartering...
00:30:07
Speaker
When I thought about my roles, I didn't want to do my roles.
00:30:10
Speaker
I didn't want to talk about my roles.
00:30:13
Speaker
I didn't want to do my roles.
00:30:17
Speaker
I didn't want to do my roles.
00:30:19
Speaker
I didn't want to do my roles.
00:30:21
Speaker
I didn't want to do my roles.
00:30:22
Speaker
I didn't want to do my roles.
00:30:24
Speaker
I didn't want to do my roles.
00:30:26
Speaker
I didn't want to do my roles.
00:30:26
Speaker
I didn't want to do my roles.
00:30:34
Speaker
Ayoko din yung, ako ayokong pinakamapagod sa rally.
00:30:37
Speaker
Yun, ayokong napapagod dahil sa rally kasi mahirap bumangon.
00:30:42
Speaker
Tapos, yung experience ko pa nun sa MDA, parang hindi ako maka-immerse dun sa event kasi natatakot akong mahimatay.
00:30:50
Speaker
Hindi ako pwedeng mahimatay.
00:30:53
Speaker
Dapat walang mangyari sa akin kasi may mga logistics nga akong kailangang i-cover at that time at dapat may presence of mind.
00:31:03
Speaker
So yun, parang, kaya nung time na yun, parang, oy, sumasaya sila.
00:31:08
Speaker
But I was trying to be alive.
00:31:10
Speaker
I was trying to not faint, not get to time.
00:31:15
Speaker
Yeah, it wasn't all enjoyable for a lot of people in the sense that it's not just all fun and shit.
00:31:24
Speaker
It was all so tough.
00:31:27
Speaker
It was very difficult.
00:31:29
Speaker
But despite the fact that you thought it was difficult and you're going to spend it,
00:31:38
Speaker
You don't just spend time, you'll adjust your schedule for those rallies, for those campaign activities.
00:31:47
Speaker
For some reason, at least at the personal level, those were weekends or days that I looked forward to.
00:31:55
Speaker
Because there were some very tired, like I was trying to play volleyball or I was trying to play mall.
00:32:02
Speaker
Ganyan, kasi feel ko nakakapagod.
00:32:03
Speaker
Natamad akong bumiyahe.
00:32:04
Speaker
Pero yung mga weekends na yun, yun yung parang maaga gising ka na, gabi pa lang, prepare ka na.
00:32:13
Speaker
Ito si Keshe, bumabiyahe pa from Bulacan.
00:32:16
Speaker
Ganyan.
00:32:17
Speaker
It was not all fun.
00:32:19
Speaker
It was sacrifice as well.
00:32:21
Speaker
It was sacrifice.
00:32:22
Speaker
It was sacrifice too.
00:32:24
Speaker
It was something we looked forward and we were willing to do.
00:32:28
Speaker
Yeah, actually.
00:32:30
Speaker
Tapos, yung energy na yun is mararamdaman mo sa lahat ng tao na nandun.
00:32:38
Speaker
I mean, syempre, di mo naman makakasalamuha lahat ng tao.
00:32:41
Speaker
Pero kahit siksika, natatanlan ko pa nun sa mga rallies.
00:32:46
Speaker
I don't know how many people are feeling, I don't see anything feeling, or I'm complaining.
00:32:54
Speaker
Everything is fun, and everything is not going to go to the end.
00:33:02
Speaker
or to participate in the program.
00:33:05
Speaker
There are a lot of LED screens that are released so that the others are far away from the main stage can see and hear what is happening in the program.
00:33:19
Speaker
Kahit yung iba, hindi nakakalapit.
00:33:20
Speaker
They were just there.
00:33:21
Speaker
They were just there for... To show... To show support.
00:33:26
Speaker
To show support.
00:33:27
Speaker
Na kahit hindi sila makapasok at maka... Nagsistay sila.
00:33:32
Speaker
Hindi sila yung pupunta doon.
00:33:33
Speaker
Tapos aalis na lang pag nakita nilang wala silang makita.
00:33:36
Speaker
They would stay.
00:33:37
Speaker
Tapos yung iba, diba?
00:33:38
Speaker
May sarili silang program with the... Yung magkakasama silang mga...
00:33:44
Speaker
And they are strangers.
00:33:45
Speaker
Like, hindi sila magkakakilala.
00:33:47
Speaker
Pero they are, ano, they're sharing their food with each other.
00:33:51
Speaker
Everyone was sharing food with each other.
00:33:54
Speaker
Everybody was giving water and free, like, so many free shit na food na coming from other people who went there din.
00:34:04
Speaker
Like, diba?
00:34:05
Speaker
It wasn't even coming from...
00:34:08
Speaker
Lenny herself.
00:34:09
Speaker
It was coming from the people who went there to participate.
00:34:13
Speaker
Yung may namimigay ng pink na puto.
00:34:16
Speaker
Ay, oo.
00:34:16
Speaker
Tapos naalala ko yung sa pandesal.
00:34:20
Speaker
May namigay ng Shanghai kasi birthday daw ni Lenny.
00:34:23
Speaker
Oo.
00:34:25
Speaker
Ayun.
00:34:26
Speaker
Yung lahat lang nagbibigay ng kung ano yung kaya nilang dalhin.
00:34:31
Speaker
Yeah.
00:34:44
Speaker
Like the movement of wanting.
00:34:47
Speaker
It was a movement.
Voting Day Emotions and Challenges
00:34:50
Speaker
It wasn't we were idolizing Lenny.
00:34:52
Speaker
It was because she symbolized progress and change for the better for a lot of Filipinos.
00:35:00
Speaker
Like a hope that we can do better and we deserve better.
00:35:06
Speaker
Because her whole...
00:35:10
Speaker
platform and her track record speaks for herself din kasi she was nothing but transparent and wala siyang bahid ng corruption which was so very which is so very common here in the Philippines na parang
00:35:28
Speaker
Everyone accepted, eh, that's a political.
00:35:31
Speaker
But he's not.
00:35:33
Speaker
Which was what we were looking forward to.
00:35:37
Speaker
We hoped for it so bad.
00:35:39
Speaker
We were so happy.
00:35:41
Speaker
Oy, I have a question.
00:35:42
Speaker
How many times did you watch the video of Kiko and the Pampanga that you didn't cry?
00:35:50
Speaker
Did you cry?
00:35:51
Speaker
I don't know.
00:35:57
Speaker
Noong pinapanood ko yun sa tatay ko, kasi yung tatay ko hindi siya decided for, parang he wasn't decided until the last weeks na, yung talagang magbabotohan na.
00:36:10
Speaker
Tapos pinakita ko yun sa kanya kasi surprisingly, hindi niya pa nakita.
00:36:14
Speaker
At nagulat ako kasi like it's all over, you know.
00:36:17
Speaker
Pero again, ganun pala kasi ang social media, may algorithm.
00:36:20
Speaker
Kung ano yung algorithm mo, yun lang makikita mo.
00:36:23
Speaker
So sinend ko sa kanya yun.
00:36:25
Speaker
E di ba yung tatay ko, farmer.
00:36:28
Speaker
Tapos nung sinend ko yun sa kanya, he made up his mind right there.
00:36:33
Speaker
Na...
00:36:35
Speaker
okay, si Kiko, si Kiko na yung, ano, ibuboto niya.
00:36:41
Speaker
Kasi, that, that moment was so genuine, ano?
00:36:44
Speaker
Oo.
00:36:45
Speaker
Yeah.
00:36:46
Speaker
Actually, ako pag pinanood ko siya ngayon, iiyak pa din ako.
00:36:49
Speaker
Eh, kahit anong pinanood ko ngayon, kahit anong panoorin ko na about... Why would you do it?
00:36:55
Speaker
For the letting come in?
00:36:57
Speaker
Noong isang araw, parang tumagtog sa Spotify ko yung liwanag sa dilim.
00:37:01
Speaker
Or sinend mo din yan sa akin.
00:37:03
Speaker
Sinend ko din sa'yo.
00:37:04
Speaker
Naiiyak-iyak ako, ganya.
00:37:06
Speaker
Oo.
00:37:06
Speaker
Sa playlist ko pa din siya.
00:37:09
Speaker
Siguro naiiyak ako...
00:37:13
Speaker
I don't know how many months ago, but I didn't have to wait for a few months.
00:37:19
Speaker
I didn't have to wait for a few months.
00:37:23
Speaker
I didn't have to wait for a few months.
00:37:26
Speaker
I didn't have to wait for a few months.
00:37:29
Speaker
I didn't have to wait for a few months.
00:37:34
Speaker
And it was sad that it was not happening.
00:37:37
Speaker
It was not happening.
00:37:39
Speaker
But I know that...
00:37:42
Speaker
that the voting day came out.
00:37:47
Speaker
We were like, we were in the discussion of the process.
00:37:52
Speaker
But maybe, just very briefly, describe the day of the Boto-Han.
00:37:57
Speaker
Because I know there's a different level of excitement and anxiety.
00:38:01
Speaker
We'll be together with you!
00:38:05
Speaker
We were together with him?
00:38:06
Speaker
Yes, we were together with him.
00:38:08
Speaker
We were together with him.
00:38:09
Speaker
We were together with him.
00:38:10
Speaker
Tell me about him.
00:38:10
Speaker
We were together with him.
00:38:11
Speaker
And then, I remember before going to the precincts, we were 7-11.
00:38:14
Speaker
We were so happy that we were in the morning.
00:38:26
Speaker
Yes, we're exercising our right, our civil right.
00:38:33
Speaker
Ito na eh, alam mo yung feeling na fresh kapad galing Makati at feel na feel mo pa yung the pink movement inside you.
00:38:45
Speaker
Tapos nakaboto ka na.
00:38:46
Speaker
Tapos naririnig mo na yung mga balita na nag-fail yung ano, anong tawag doon?
00:38:52
Speaker
Mga PCOS machine.
00:38:54
Speaker
PCOS machine.
00:38:56
Speaker
So may mga hindi daw nabibilang yung boto.
00:38:58
Speaker
Tapos may mga naririnig kang mga balita na yung mga iba parang pinapaiwan yung ballot sheet ba yun?
00:39:07
Speaker
Ballot.
00:39:08
Speaker
Para saka na lang bilangin kasi nga hindi mabilang.
00:39:12
Speaker
The anxiety was settling in.
00:39:15
Speaker
And that's when I was a kid, the votes were coming in.
00:39:20
Speaker
So, my anxiety was like, but I decided to accept that this can happen.
00:39:26
Speaker
It's such an ugly feeling.
00:39:30
Speaker
Actually, ano, mas natatandaan ko pa yung voting day kaysa sa yung mga rallies, rally days, mga campaign days.
00:39:36
Speaker
Kasi sobrang iba yung tama sa'yo ng emosyon.
00:39:40
Speaker
Nalala ko na nag-volunteer ako as a... Ano ba yung ni-volunteer?
00:39:46
Speaker
Watcher.
00:39:47
Speaker
Sabi ko, pagkatapos kong sabihin ng naalala ko, oo, yun yung term, watcher.
00:39:53
Speaker
So nag-watcher ako, tapos, edo syempre, may bumalit ako, may cellphone ako, so nakaantabi ako sa balita, ganyan.
00:40:02
Speaker
So mga 7pm, mga 6-7pm ng kabe, andun na yung ABS-CBN, andun na yung mga, andun na yung GMA, nag-ano na ng live na pagpasok ng mga boto.
00:40:14
Speaker
Tapos biglang,
00:40:16
Speaker
Parang, parang una, ang saya-saya mo eh, kasi ang mini-leverage tayo nung una.
00:40:22
Speaker
Tapos biglang, ang laki nung margin, bigla.
00:40:26
Speaker
Oo.
00:40:26
Speaker
To the point na parang, parang alam mo na yung trend.
00:40:30
Speaker
Alam mo yung, nararamdaman mo na yung trend na, shit, bakit napaka-overwhelming nung numbers na sobrang laki bigla.
00:40:40
Speaker
Sobrang overwhelming nun, tapos,
00:40:42
Speaker
I just got to go to the classroom and I just laughed.
00:40:46
Speaker
I felt like, I felt like, I felt like, shit, until here.
00:40:50
Speaker
Maybe until here, I laughed.
00:40:52
Speaker
I laughed.
00:40:52
Speaker
I laughed like, I didn't even think that 10%, 20% of ballots.
00:40:55
Speaker
But eventually, you, Cash, how do you vote for you?
00:41:11
Speaker
Like you, I was happy when I started.
00:41:16
Speaker
I was excited because I was a first time voter.
00:41:20
Speaker
After I voted, you know, you can't even know who you are, like, what number of people who voted.
00:41:31
Speaker
I double-checked, I triple-checked if it's right.
00:41:35
Speaker
I was asking people who already, my friends who already voted, if it should not be able to pass.
00:41:43
Speaker
If it's not going to pass in Bilog, it's not going to be able to pass.
00:41:51
Speaker
I was so anxious about the whole thing, but I was also excited.
00:41:55
Speaker
Then when we came to the precinct,
00:41:58
Speaker
I was with my husband.
00:41:59
Speaker
She's a voter.
00:41:59
Speaker
She's not voting last time, so she should be active.
00:42:02
Speaker
She should be active.
00:42:02
Speaker
But when it comes to that, she's not going to have the name of her.
00:42:21
Speaker
So, we didn't have a vote.
00:42:23
Speaker
Then, we came to the help desk, the precinct, we didn't have a vote.
00:42:27
Speaker
We didn't have a name in the database.
00:42:28
Speaker
So, okay, I just wanted to vote.
00:42:39
Speaker
So, Pila, ganyan.
00:42:41
Speaker
Pagdating dun sa precinct.
00:42:44
Speaker
Kasi diba, hindi mo makikita kasi syempre maliliit yung names.
00:42:47
Speaker
Pero kasi diba yung balot, makikita mo kung nasaan si Lenny.
00:42:50
Speaker
Kasi yung kay Lenny, nasa dun siya sa pinakadulo, tas mag-isa lang siya.
00:42:56
Speaker
Tapos yung sa ibang tao, ay yung sa ibang candidates nasa gitna.
00:43:02
Speaker
Then, I was a pot girl.
00:43:04
Speaker
I was a pot girl.
00:43:04
Speaker
I was a pot girl.
00:43:06
Speaker
I was a pot girl.
00:43:07
Speaker
I was a pot girl.
00:43:08
Speaker
I was a pot girl.
00:43:09
Speaker
I was a pot girl.
00:43:11
Speaker
I was a pot girl.
00:43:11
Speaker
I was a pot girl.
00:43:12
Speaker
I was a pot girl.
00:43:13
Speaker
I was a pot girl.
00:43:14
Speaker
I was a pot girl.
00:43:16
Speaker
I was a pot girl.
00:43:31
Speaker
wala, ako lang, ako lang ang dun sa mga, ano, nung nakita ko, tos parang, dun yung nag-sync in sa akin na parang, oh shit, oh shit, um, we might actually lose this, kasi, like, the past few months during the campaign, we're so filled with hope that you can't even imagine
00:43:56
Speaker
at least, I can't even imagine losing this one.
00:44:01
Speaker
Because you feel it so... Maybe it's also because you want it so bad.
00:44:07
Speaker
That's why you believe it wholeheartedly.
00:44:10
Speaker
You believe it wholeheartedly that it's going to happen.
00:44:13
Speaker
But also because you felt it.
00:44:15
Speaker
You saw it with your own eyes when you went to the rallies.
00:44:19
Speaker
You see it everywhere in social media.
00:44:22
Speaker
But after I cast my vote and I saw...
00:44:28
Speaker
I think I was the only one who voted for her.
00:44:34
Speaker
That's when it synced in.
00:44:39
Speaker
Oh, we might actually lose this one.
00:44:42
Speaker
Tapos nung nasasasaken na kami ni Bon, pabalik dito sa bahay, iyak ako ng iyak.
00:44:50
Speaker
Kasi, sabi ko, it was more of like, I wish I did more.
00:44:56
Speaker
I wish I've done more.
00:45:00
Speaker
Kasi, the last presidential election, yung kay Duterte, I was also very, I was very loud nun campaigning online.
00:45:14
Speaker
But that took a toll on me and my relationships with other people who voted for Duterte.
Regrets and Loss After Election
00:45:22
Speaker
And I couldn't handle the stress or the anxiety of talking to people.
00:45:30
Speaker
Because, you know, the water, the bardagulan.
00:45:33
Speaker
So this campaign, I didn't do much of talking to people, to my relatives who voted for Duterte.
00:45:43
Speaker
the other person who were very vocal about voting for the other person, I just didn't talk to them at all.
00:45:50
Speaker
Kasi I didn't want to interact.
00:45:53
Speaker
Kasi nga, it was too stressful for me.
00:45:56
Speaker
Like, I really get panic attacks.
00:45:59
Speaker
Tapos sinabi ko, parang na-realize ko noon on the car ride back home from voting.
00:46:08
Speaker
Sabi ko, maybe if I did more...
00:46:12
Speaker
Maybe if I did more.
00:46:14
Speaker
Maybe if I just talked to more people.
00:46:18
Speaker
Like, talked to my neighbors at least.
00:46:21
Speaker
Kasi, like, sabi ko nga sila Atimog, sila Daril, nag-house to host sila sa mga taong hindi nga nila kilala.
00:46:27
Speaker
Like, alam mo yun, pawis at pagod sila.
00:46:31
Speaker
Tapos ako, hanggang rally lang ako, hanggang online lang ako.
00:46:35
Speaker
Pero, may nagawa ba talaga ako?
00:46:39
Speaker
When I know na ang laki-laki ang nakataya.
00:46:43
Speaker
So I was crying more of like regret na hindi ko pinuhos lahat ng parang nasa isip ko na I could have done more.
00:46:54
Speaker
I should have done more.
00:46:55
Speaker
Ganon.
00:46:56
Speaker
Para at least kahit natalo, masabi kong nabigay ko lahat.
00:47:02
Speaker
Pero hindi ko kasi nabigay lahat.
00:47:04
Speaker
Kasi, yun nga, I wasn't capable of doing that.
00:47:08
Speaker
So yun, yak-yak ako.
00:47:10
Speaker
I was just watching the news.
00:47:25
Speaker
When the results were already in the morning, if you were in the... Daryl was really there, counting.
00:47:37
Speaker
I was just in front of my TV, seeing the numbers getting updated every 30 minutes, every something minutes, and I couldn't believe what I was seeing.
00:47:47
Speaker
The margin was so... The big difference.
00:47:55
Speaker
Tapos umiiyak na ako.
00:47:57
Speaker
Umiiyak na lang ako the whole time.
00:48:00
Speaker
Tapos nagpabili ako ng ala ko.
00:48:02
Speaker
Umiinom ako.
00:48:03
Speaker
Tapos nagtawagan na kami parang yung ibang friends nagtawagan na kami ng mga friends.
00:48:10
Speaker
Sila Jonas, sila Franz.
00:48:13
Speaker
At I forgot kung sino pa.
00:48:15
Speaker
Pero we were in disbelief of what the results were.
00:48:21
Speaker
And
00:48:25
Speaker
It felt like someone died.
00:48:29
Speaker
That's how it felt for me, no?
00:48:32
Speaker
How did you process that, Mog?
00:48:35
Speaker
I mean, you know, I'm a petty.
00:48:36
Speaker
When the results are final.
00:48:37
Speaker
You know, I'm so...
00:48:41
Speaker
I think I echoed the question of Keshe.
00:48:48
Speaker
A part of me felt that maybe if I had more reservations in life, that's how I felt.
00:49:02
Speaker
Parang, baka sana if lahat ng house to house na puntahan ko, or nung nag-stategize kami ng house to house, sana mas exhaustive siya.
00:49:14
Speaker
Baka mas malayo yung narating.
00:49:16
Speaker
Baka, paano ko ba sabihin?
00:49:19
Speaker
Kasi nung tinignan ko yung votes, yung mga barangay kung saan tayo nag house to house Darryl, talo si Leg.
00:49:26
Speaker
So, parang may personal...
00:49:29
Speaker
kirot siya on me.
00:49:31
Speaker
It felt like we failed.
00:49:34
Speaker
We did naman.
00:49:35
Speaker
Pero parang ako, hala, saan ako nagkulang?
00:49:37
Speaker
Bakit hindi ko na-reach yung goal?
00:49:40
Speaker
Bakit?
00:49:41
Speaker
Kasi parang siguro kung sa barangay namin nanalo si Lenny, medyo, I did something good.
00:49:47
Speaker
Ganun.
00:49:50
Speaker
So, may ganung feelings ako.
00:49:54
Speaker
I share the same feelings with Keshe.
00:49:57
Speaker
On the other hand, as a petty bitch that I am, as a petty kakampinklawan, as a petty kakampink, ano talaga ako, spiteful ako.
00:50:07
Speaker
Bala kayo dyan.
00:50:09
Speaker
Ayan yung governance na pinili.
00:50:11
Speaker
Oh, sige.
00:50:12
Speaker
Ganun ka na nag-cope.
00:50:14
Speaker
Sige, pahala kayo dyan.
00:50:16
Speaker
Oo.
00:50:17
Speaker
I don't expect your learning experience.
00:50:19
Speaker
Let's see what you feel when your leader did not show up during difficult times.
00:50:26
Speaker
That's what I'm saying.
00:50:28
Speaker
I'm confused on Twitter, I'm confused on group chat, I'm confused on the chat.
00:50:30
Speaker
I'm confused on the chat.
00:50:36
Speaker
You know, disclaimer, what I did is something that people shouldn't do as a kakampink.
00:50:44
Speaker
Don't be a spiteful bitch.
00:50:46
Speaker
But you know, I'm happy that there are friends who, you know, called me out on it.
00:50:51
Speaker
But I still haven't listened because we're still a little bit.
00:50:54
Speaker
Yes, because you're a fight for bitch.
00:50:56
Speaker
Yes, I was a bit self-centered.
00:50:57
Speaker
I was a selfish take.
00:50:57
Speaker
I went beyond my comfort zone, but it's not your own.
00:51:01
Speaker
It's not your own.
00:51:02
Speaker
It's your own.
00:51:26
Speaker
Yeah, you're being honest.
00:51:27
Speaker
We're transparent here.
00:51:29
Speaker
We're transparent.
00:51:30
Speaker
I'm wrong.
00:51:33
Speaker
That's just the level of self-awareness.
00:51:40
Speaker
We all process grief differently.
00:51:44
Speaker
We all processed it differently.
00:51:48
Speaker
I realized it was also hard to talk to you guys about it.
00:51:53
Speaker
It's not hard.
00:51:54
Speaker
But because I know that we all process grief differently and we may not agree with each other's
00:52:01
Speaker
processes.
00:52:05
Speaker
And everything was triggering.
00:52:07
Speaker
So, it was hard.
00:52:10
Speaker
I can't even remember anymore.
00:52:12
Speaker
Parang blinang out na siya ng brain ko.
00:52:17
Speaker
Maggagatungan lang tayo ng lungkot at
00:52:19
Speaker
Inis.
00:52:21
Speaker
Diba?
00:52:22
Speaker
Minsan pala ganun na no.
00:52:23
Speaker
Minsan, kasi sabi nila basta may karamay ka, okay lang.
00:52:27
Speaker
Minsan hindi din.
00:52:28
Speaker
Minsan, you have to take things separately din and have you process it on your own through.
00:52:37
Speaker
Siguro ang tanong ko sa'yo mag, ako, for me, at least, last two questions.
00:52:41
Speaker
Number one, nakamove on ka na ba?
00:52:44
Speaker
O masasabi mong nakamove on ka na ba?
00:52:46
Speaker
Pangalawa, dapat bang umasa pa tayo?
00:52:49
Speaker
Because we don't have a hope.
00:52:51
Speaker
It's like, this is it, fuck, it's another six years.
00:52:55
Speaker
Maybe, I'm not going to move on.
00:53:00
Speaker
I'm able to manage my emotions, handle myself, tone down the spitefulness, but I'm not.
00:53:13
Speaker
Andun pa din, andun yung kirot, andun yung what if.
00:53:16
Speaker
And it's okay.
00:53:17
Speaker
I embrace that.
00:53:19
Speaker
I embrace this season.
00:53:20
Speaker
Pero hindi ko siya finofuel or nire-reinforce.
00:53:25
Speaker
I just let it be.
00:53:27
Speaker
Ganyan.
00:53:28
Speaker
But to tell you honestly, I haven't.
00:53:30
Speaker
Because of course, a big desire in my heart is I want a better governance for the country.
00:53:39
Speaker
As cliche as it may sound, but you know, I have mga inaanaks, pamangkins na gusto ko maayos yung kinabukasan nila.
00:53:50
Speaker
Ano yung naiisip ko sila Kurt?
00:53:52
Speaker
Naiisip ko sila Bik Bik?
00:53:54
Speaker
Na itong six years na to, hindi naman na ako yung magre-reap nung consequence na to eh.
00:54:01
Speaker
Sila Bik-Bik na yun, tsaka sila Kurt.
00:54:04
Speaker
And hindi ako at peace with that thought na yung political consciousness natin or yung mga political decisions natin ngayon, ang magsasuffer is yung mga bata na hindi naman butante.
00:54:19
Speaker
Kaya hindi ako makamove on.
00:54:21
Speaker
Kasi, as we all know, political decisions, decisions made by our leaders will always have effect to the future.
00:54:35
Speaker
Well, you know, the next question din na gusto ko sanang sagutin is how do I channel this feeling in a more productive and in a more healthy way?
00:54:45
Speaker
Siguro this is also in relation to the next question, kung umaasap pa ba, umaasap
00:54:51
Speaker
Umaasa pa ba ako?
00:54:52
Speaker
Oo naman.
00:54:53
Speaker
Parang, I think yun na lang yung pinaka minimum requirement sana na para dun sa mga nasaktan, sana umaasa pa din tayo kasi we need to move forward.
00:55:09
Speaker
I think
Maintaining Hope and Responsibility
00:55:10
Speaker
there's a little, I don't want to say obligation or responsibility, but a part of us, I think,
00:55:20
Speaker
should still have some sense or some desire to make all things better.
00:55:28
Speaker
Yeah.
00:55:28
Speaker
But in a way that we make do with what we have.
00:55:32
Speaker
Hindi ko naman pinapressure yung mga pink
00:55:35
Speaker
my friends, my pink.
00:55:37
Speaker
No, we should also give it to you, help.
00:55:42
Speaker
But if there's a part of you that wants to help or if there's some form of resources that you can give to people who are suffering under this whatever you call this admin, leadership, governance, help.
00:56:02
Speaker
I think that's how I'm gonna move forward.
00:56:05
Speaker
making do with what I have in a way that I can help other people's lives better.
00:56:12
Speaker
Especially those na naapektuhan ng mga desisyon ng mga nakakataas.
00:56:20
Speaker
Ayun lamang po.
00:56:22
Speaker
Mugs for Mayor.
00:56:23
Speaker
Sorry.
00:56:25
Speaker
Mayor's wife.
00:56:26
Speaker
Sorry.
00:56:28
Speaker
Pero yeah, I love that so much.
00:56:30
Speaker
That is true.
00:56:31
Speaker
Ikaw, bada, meron ka pa bang hope?
00:56:35
Speaker
You know, Moggs, different things to be able to process grief and be more helpless.
00:56:42
Speaker
I'm in the spiral of helplessness.
00:56:45
Speaker
If you're hoping, I feel like I'm at the point where
00:56:52
Speaker
Pagod na akong umasa talaga, Mogse.
00:56:54
Speaker
Like, kung ikaw sasabihin mo mo dapat umasa, sana umasa pa tayo.
00:56:57
Speaker
Ako parang, ang pangat naman ng umasa at umasa at umasa na lang.
00:57:01
Speaker
Ganyan.
00:57:02
Speaker
Tapos, tapos parang, ano, parang, ang realidad, sinasampal ka sa mukha na, hindi, hindi pa rin.
00:57:10
Speaker
So parang, andun ako sa point na, yun ko, parang,
00:57:14
Speaker
you're tired and tired.
00:57:17
Speaker
And maybe to follow the answer, I channeled my tired that I was tired.
00:57:22
Speaker
I was tired and tired.
00:57:23
Speaker
I want... I want... I want... I want to be able to be able to be influenced by people who are influenced by people who are influenced by people who are influenced by
00:57:45
Speaker
Ganito ang pamamalakad.
00:57:46
Speaker
Ganitong klase ng governance.
00:57:49
Speaker
Sa korupsyon.
00:57:50
Speaker
Ganyan.
00:57:50
Speaker
Sa... Sa... Sa mga kasinongalingan.
00:57:56
Speaker
Ganyan.
00:57:57
Speaker
Yung galit na ganyan.
00:57:58
Speaker
Kasi feeling ko.
00:57:59
Speaker
Feeling ko lang naman.
00:58:00
Speaker
Magmamanifest siya to like... Some sort of... Other kind of change.
00:58:07
Speaker
Kasi you know.
00:58:08
Speaker
The positive scripting... Does not work for me anymore.
00:58:12
Speaker
Ganyan.
00:58:13
Speaker
Pero... Ewan ko...
00:58:14
Speaker
To tell you honestly, I'm angry.
00:58:16
Speaker
I'm upset, but I'm angry.
00:58:22
Speaker
I'm a little bit of both.
00:58:24
Speaker
Because I need to channel your anger to make sure you're able to get out of the way.
00:58:37
Speaker
No, to make sure that people who are accountable will be held accountable.
00:58:42
Speaker
Yes, right.
00:58:44
Speaker
Yeah, that also.
00:58:45
Speaker
And not stop it.
00:58:48
Speaker
We cannot stop there.
00:58:51
Speaker
We need to progress.
00:58:53
Speaker
I do it for the sake of my children.
00:58:57
Speaker
I have to.
00:58:58
Speaker
I have no choice.
00:59:00
Speaker
And who will fight for them?
00:59:01
Speaker
They're still children.
00:59:03
Speaker
The consequences of...
00:59:06
Speaker
the decisions that are made during our time will affect them.
00:59:12
Speaker
But I still hope for the best.
00:59:14
Speaker
Maybe it just wasn't meant to be this time, I guess.
00:59:19
Speaker
Yeah, we make do with what we have right now, which is, I don't know, what do we have?
00:59:26
Speaker
I don't even know.
00:59:28
Speaker
But yeah, we're getting there.
00:59:29
Speaker
We're processing it.
00:59:31
Speaker
one day at a time.
00:59:32
Speaker
But I'm happy that we were able to already talk about it now, right?
Coping with Humor and Reflection
00:59:37
Speaker
That says a lot.
00:59:41
Speaker
Sorry.
00:59:43
Speaker
Grabe talaga yung impact niya sa akin.
00:59:45
Speaker
Kasi, honestly, kuminsan, parang feeling, inaanoko na lang ang OAOA ko naman.
00:59:50
Speaker
Pero tanggap ko na na ang lalim talaga nung kurot sa akin.
00:59:55
Speaker
Tsaka, akala ko nga, nakamove on na ako eh.
00:59:57
Speaker
Kasi ang tagal-tagal na.
00:59:59
Speaker
It was a long time.
01:00:01
Speaker
I was a long time.
01:00:02
Speaker
I was a depressed man.
01:00:03
Speaker
I was a nervous man.
01:00:05
Speaker
I was thinking, now we're going to be in September.
01:00:07
Speaker
Yeah.
01:00:08
Speaker
Then, we didn't even know.
01:00:09
Speaker
It was a pain.
01:00:10
Speaker
It was a pain.
01:00:13
Speaker
It was a pain.
01:00:14
Speaker
It was a pain.
01:00:15
Speaker
It was a pain.
01:00:15
Speaker
It was a pain.
01:00:16
Speaker
It was a pain.
01:00:19
Speaker
I was a pain.
01:00:22
Speaker
When he speaks to me, I always come to my mind, like I'm going to cue in Ben and Ben from the next life.
01:00:29
Speaker
That's what Kish said.
01:00:32
Speaker
That's what Kish said.
01:00:34
Speaker
That's what Kish said.
01:00:37
Speaker
I'm going to try it.
01:00:46
Speaker
Diba may mga post kasi sa TikTok na ano, mga memories nila sa Pink Rally.
01:00:52
Speaker
Tapos yung background, Sasuke.
01:00:57
Speaker
Pag ikaw yung magkata.
01:01:00
Speaker
Eh, iniiyakan ko yun.
01:01:02
Speaker
Eh.
01:01:02
Speaker
Pag nakakakita ako nun.
01:01:06
Speaker
Siguro ngayon ang form of distraction ko yung mga memes.
01:01:11
Speaker
Yung mga memes.
01:01:13
Speaker
Mga shitposts about what's happening.
01:01:16
Speaker
Parang...
01:01:18
Speaker
Pag nakakita nga ako ng mga ganyan sa TikTok, yung mga campaign shit, meron pa kasi sa algorithm ko, wala talagang scroll up, scroll up, ganyan.
01:01:27
Speaker
Kasi hindi ko kayang panoorin.
01:01:30
Speaker
Trauma.
01:01:31
Speaker
Nulungkot ako.
01:01:34
Speaker
Pero, di ba, di ba, ati Morgz, dapat i-embrace lang natin at ano, i-process lang natin ng lungkot and we sit with it.
01:01:43
Speaker
Yeah, buti na lang hindi po ka, Mogs.
01:01:45
Speaker
At, ah, salamat dahil nakasama mo kami sa episode na to.
01:01:51
Speaker
Medyo mabigat-bigat din kasi siya.
01:01:53
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But, yeah, thank you for sharing your stories with us and your experiences.
01:01:59
Speaker
Yun.
01:02:00
Speaker
Wow.
01:02:03
Speaker
Yun lang, gusto ko lang magpasalamat sa Is This Thing On for inviting me.
01:02:07
Speaker
Ako talaga feeling ko dapat meron akong badge, fan badge ng Is This Thing On.
01:02:13
Speaker
Ay, oo.
01:02:14
Speaker
Top fan.
01:02:15
Speaker
Oo, dapat top fan niya na ako.
01:02:18
Speaker
Kasi, ayun.
01:02:19
Speaker
Tapos, feeling ko as a fan, ano pa eh, after kong makinig, itchatchat ko pa sila darin, Hoy, totoo ba?
01:02:26
Speaker
Hindi ko alam yun.
01:02:28
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Gano'n.
01:02:32
Speaker
I'm so happy to hear.
01:02:34
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We're happy that you're here.
01:02:37
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I hope your listeners will be here because I think this podcast has really helped other people, including myself, process things, especially the burnout episode.
01:02:52
Speaker
For me, sometimes I just want to escape cash.
01:02:56
Speaker
That's it.
01:02:57
Speaker
Now why you can process your grief in a better way and healthier way, not like us.
01:03:10
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I'm sorry.
01:03:11
Speaker
But thank you for your feedback.
01:03:14
Speaker
We always try to do it again.
01:03:17
Speaker
And so, for those who are interested, if you haven't followed us on social media accounts, we can also find the handles of our social media accounts like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.
01:03:31
Speaker
We can also add the links in the show notes.
01:03:34
Speaker
Yes.
01:03:34
Speaker
And if you want to share those, we have an anonymous link that you want to share.
01:03:42
Speaker
In Google Form, yes.
01:03:43
Speaker
If you want to share those experiences of the campaign, please do.
01:03:48
Speaker
We will be happy to read it in one of our episodes.
01:03:52
Speaker
It's a series.
01:03:53
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We also want to process and share some stories.
01:03:57
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Why not?
01:03:57
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So, thank you so much for your love.
01:04:00
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We'll be here to finish it.
01:04:05
Speaker
Yung episode na to, ako ulit si Daryl.
01:04:08
Speaker
Ka naman si Kes.
01:04:09
Speaker
And this is... Is this thing on?
01:04:15
Speaker
The podcast.
01:04:17
Speaker
Ayan.
01:04:17
Speaker
Fuck, natapos din.
01:04:19
Speaker
Hoy mga bakla, may meeting na ako ng 10-05.
01:04:21
Speaker
Bye-bye na.
01:04:23
Speaker
Oh my gosh, totoo ba?
01:04:24
Speaker
Sige, bye-bye atin.
01:04:26
Speaker
Bye.