Transcript
Speaker: Hello! I don't know what the problem is, but I don't know what the problem is. Actually, I don't know what the problem is, but I don't know what the problem is, but I don't know what the problem is, but I don't know what the problem is, but I don't know what the problem is, but I don't know what the problem is, but I don't know what the problem is, but I don't know what the problem is, but I don't know what the problem is, but I don't know what the problem is, but I don't know what the problem is, but I don't know what the problem is, but I don't know what the problem is, but I don't know what the problem is, but I don't know what the problem is, but I don't know what the problem is, but I don't know what the problem is, but I don't know what the problem is, but I don't know what the problem is, but I don't know what the problem is, but I
Speaker: Thank you lord
Speaker: I'm like, but thank you. Joke on me. Hey, okay. So, what's your favorite episode of the episode? Super special episode. We're going to have a guest guest. Happy. We're going to have a guest guest. We're going to have a guest. We're going to have a guest guest.
Speaker: Very true. This is a very special episode. This is a very special episode. This is very special. This is very special. This is very special. This is very special. This is very special. This is very special. This is very special. This is very special. This is very special.
Speaker: I don't know why I'm so bored. I first met him in Oregon during college.
Speaker: Actually, I'm going to go to school for some time. I don't have a college day. But I'm going to go to school for a couple of days. I'm going to go to school for a couple of days. I'm going to go to school for a couple of days. I'm going to school for a couple of days. I'm going to school for a couple of days. I'm going to school for a couple of days. I'm going to school for a couple of days. I'm going to school for a couple of days. I'm going to school for a couple of days. I'm going to school for a couple of days. I'm going to school for a couple of days. I'm going to school for a couple of days. I'm going to school for a couple of days. I'm going to school for a couple of days. I'm going to school for a couple of days. I'm going to school for a couple of days. I'm going to school for a couple of days. I'm going to school for a couple of
Speaker: I don't know if I'm going to be honest, but I don't know if I'm going to be honest. I don't know if I'm going to be honest, but I don't know if I'm going to be honest, but I don't know if I'm going to be honest, but I don't know if I'm going to be honest, but I don't know if I'm going to be honest, but I don't know if I'm going to be honest, but I don't know if I'm going to be honest, but I don't know if I'm going to be honest, but I don't know if I'm going to be honest, but I don't know if I'm going to be honest, but I don't know if I'm going to be honest, but I don't know if I'm going to be honest, but I don't know if I'm going to be honest.
Speaker: I know how to pronounce some things at church. Yes. Actually, I think that's one of the reasons why we were drawn to each other.
Speaker: Before, I would say it was the Holy Spirit. We were very similar. We could relate to each other in so many ways. The birds of the same feather. Fucked together. I was gonna say, make a good feather duster.
Speaker: I don't know how to say that in Korean. Actually, I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it in Korean. I don't know how to say it in Korean. I don't know how to say it in Korean. I don't know how to say it in Korean. I don't know how to say it in Korean. I don't know how to say it in Korean. I don't know how to say it in Korean. I don't know how to say it in Korean. I don't know how to say it in Korean.
Speaker: We are going to go through a deep dive analysis. We are going to go through a deep dive analysis. We are going to go through a deep dive analysis. We are going to go through a deep dive analysis.
Speaker: before we go on and talk and talk and talk we're just gonna introduce ourselves real quick
Speaker: Namaskesh! And this is... Is this thing on? The podcast! Anyway, so I'm not going to say anything. I have a question for Hijronas. It's hard to say, but I don't think he's going to be able to say anything about it. I don't think he's going to be able to say anything about it. I don't think he's going to be able to say anything about it. I don't think he's going to be able to say anything about it.
Speaker: I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it in one of our late nights. I really don't remember. That was a long time ago. I'm used to it.
Speaker: Well, I'm a childhood girl, so I don't know what I'm going to do now. Oh my god, middle child syndrome. I owe you. I owe you middle child syndrome, Jonas. I think so. Poster child dog for middle child.
Speaker: I think favorite child, so young middle child always has to do extra things to make himself or herself feel better in life.
Speaker: or to be noticed. It's interesting to note that, I mean, there are a lot of dynamics there.
Speaker: And like, you determine middle child when you're in a crowd like they don't really know that it manifests with your traits and your behaviors. You feel like you have to put up more effort.
Speaker: Yeah, I think, I don't know, I don't know how to put up an effort, but at least for a new achievement, I don't know how to do it. And at least for me, I don't know how to feel good also about yourself, and at the end of the day, I don't know how to do it, but I don't know how to do it.
Speaker: So you were talking about these expectations when you asked the middle child, expectation by your own parents, what are your own expectations? I'm too hard on myself. I always feel like I have to make an extra.
Speaker: So I know a poster boy for middle child and Virgo. Yeah. So perfect fit for this show. So with that being said, the expectations are really good. I don't know what the expectations of parents are like. They are good for looking back.
Speaker: I don't want to say that you don't have expectations. You know less about yourself than you do now. Back then, I didn't have expectations from parents. I didn't have expectations from parents. I didn't have any boundaries at all. I didn't want to delineate or distinguish from parents or expectations of society. I don't want to say for you. Expectations.
Speaker: What are your expectations? I feel like I have blind items. So I think I'm going to start with the list. The list? The list. Check list. I'm going to start with the list. I'm going to start with the list. What are your expectations?
Speaker: We have to succeed in life. We have to provide our family in the future. We have to be successful. We have to be successful.
Speaker: I don't think it's really that spicy. I don't have any basic expectations. But I think that during our childhood years, it's a bit of a shame. I think that's it.
Speaker: We have to go above and beyond those expectations. Actually, I didn't expect that I would expect that I would expect that I would expect that I would expect that I would expect that I would expect that I would expect that I would expect that I would expect that I would expect that I would expect that I would expect that I would expect that I would expect that
Speaker: I don't have any skills, I don't have expectations. Except for me, I don't know. At the age of 3, I don't know how to go to school, but I don't know how to go to school. At the same time, it's the same curriculum. At that early age,
Speaker: Leading Readiness. Like for example sports lessons, whatever those are, music lessons.
Speaker: It's not expected of you at such a young age. So, I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it.
Speaker: Yes, very good. At a very young age, at a very young age, at a very young age, at a very young age, at a very young age, at a very young age, at a very young age, at a very young age, at a very young age, at a very young age, at a very young age, at a very young age, at a very young age, at a very young age, at a very young age, at a very young age,
Speaker: Number one, to discount the situation, or to pay later, to pay at least for the family. So, let's start the conversation.
Speaker: So, I think it's because of the age restriction in preschool. I think it's because of Mehrun. Mehrun is not a teacher. Mehrun is not a teacher. Mehrun is not a teacher. Mehrun is not a teacher. Mehrun is not a teacher. Mehrun is not a teacher. Mehrun is not a teacher. He is not a teacher.
Speaker: three years old then, so same as that.
Speaker: What? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about? What are you talking about?
Speaker: But it's not a start school, but it's January 1st. I don't know if it's a start school, but it's January 1st. I don't know if it's a start school, but it's January 1st. I don't know if it's a start school, but it's January 1st. I don't know if it's a start school, but it's January 1st. I don't know if it's a start school, but it's January 1st. I don't know if it's a start school, but it's January 1st. I don't know if it's a start school, but it's January 1st.
Speaker: I think it's important for us to have a lot of attention. I think it's important for us to have a lot of energy for parents. So, I think it's important for us to have a lot of
Speaker: I felt the expectations, but I never really understood them until
Speaker: like a pretty older age, but somewhere in element that I know.
Speaker: I started to not fulfill the expectations. They're expecting this of you. If they see you're not doing it anymore, when you're starting to have low grades or you're not performing as much as you were before, that's when they'll tell you.
Speaker: Expectations, I did very well. In the first years, I'd be a bright, quote -unquote, child, until forever, I guess. What was the question? What was the question? What was the question? What was the question? What was the question? What was the question? What was the question?
Speaker: I don't know if there's anything else you'd like to say? I don't know. I don't know. Is there anything else you'd like to say?
Speaker: But for me, it's a bit boring out of interest, I guess. But for me, it's a bit of a feeling of interest. But for me, of course, for me, it's a bit of a bad thing, because I don't have a lot of experience. But for me, it's a situation where I don't have a pianist in church, because I have an OFW. So for me,
Speaker: I don't know about that. I don't know about that. I don't know about that. I don't know about that. I don't know about that. I don't know about that. I don't know about that. I don't know about that.
Speaker: to do it. But I enjoy it a lot. I think you can enjoy it a lot. I enjoy it a lot. Yes. I think that's it. Also, for me, I like to enjoy it a lot. Because I like to enjoy it a lot. Because I like to enjoy it a lot. Because I like to enjoy it a lot. Because I like to enjoy it a lot. Because I like to enjoy it a lot. Because I like to enjoy it a lot. Because I like to enjoy it a lot. Because I like to enjoy it a lot. Because I like to enjoy it a lot. Because I like to enjoy it a lot. Because I like to enjoy it a lot.
Speaker: You have to do this because you have no choice -ish. Of course hindsight is always 20 -20.
Speaker: I don't know if everyone has a new feeling, I don't remember. I don't know if anyone has a new feeling about it. I don't know if everyone has a new feeling, I don't know if anyone has a new feeling, I don't know if anyone has a new feeling, I don't know if anyone has a new feeling, I don't know if anyone has a new feeling, I don't know if anyone has a new feeling, I don't know if anyone has a new feeling, I don't know if anyone has a new feeling,
Speaker: I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker: I think it's important for kids to learn chores. I think it's, you know, teaching them about responsibility, about, you know... Like household chores. household chores, yeah. But I don't know, it's... I don't know how to say it, but I don't know how to say it, but I don't know how to say it, but I don't know how to say it, but I don't know how to say it, but I don't know.
Speaker: We should be helping out in the house. I mean, nobody else is going to help your mom out. We should be helping out in the house. We should be helping out in the house. I mean, nobody else is going to help your mom out. We should be helping out in the house. We should be helping out in the house. We should be helping out in the house. We should be helping out in the house. We should be helping out in the house. We should be helping out in the house. We should be helping out in the house. We should be helping out in the house. We should be helping out in the house. We should be helping out in the house. We should be helping out in the house. We should be helping out in the house. We should be helping out in the house. We should be helping out in the house. We should be helping out in the house. We should be helping out in the house. We should be helping out in the house. We should be helping out in the house. We should be helping out in the house.
Speaker: It's an extra -curricular sketch.
Speaker: I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker: I don't remember telling my parents, no, I don't want, no. I don't want to practice, yes. But I remember looking forward to going into those piano lessons.
Speaker: Instead of this, and it was expected of me, was more on helping out with the church. That's one thing that I know for sure.
Speaker: Other kids would be able to play around, but I'm expected to help my parents carry out the hymns, distribute the hymns, just being like a person in church. Simple stuff until the more responsibilities like teaching in Sunday school.
Speaker: Also, because he knows how to play the piano, he was then given that responsibility of playing the piano in church. I love to read when I was a kid, mostly because of the TV, the Bible stories. And that's how I kept myself preoccupied. I was reading.
Speaker: So my memory is from the Latin Bible stories, but not from the books. So I don't want to assume that I have a role in this, but I want to be a pupil in the future. I don't want to be a pupil in the future. I don't want to be a pupil in the future. I want to be a pupil in the future.
Speaker: I'm sorry that I didn't say anything. I'm sorry that I didn't say anything. I'm sorry that I didn't say anything. I'm sorry that I didn't say anything. I'm sorry that I didn't say anything. I'm sorry that I didn't say anything.
Speaker: It was a sense of responsibility was kind of also empowering for me. I can teach. It was kind of like empowering for me as a kid or as a not really, I wasn't really a kid kid. When I was like 11 years older, 12, 10, 11, 12, good one.
Speaker: So rather than being bored with sitting and being the one taught to, and they were very happy to give the responsibility to me.
Speaker: I don't know how it's called. I don't know what it's called. Love gift. Love gift, yes. I don't know what it's called. Exploitation means child labor.
Speaker: When I was a kid, like the women in the church, I didn't know about my assigned teachers. I didn't know about the schedule. I didn't know about the schedule. I didn't know about the schedule. I didn't know about the schedule. I didn't know about the schedule. I didn't know about the schedule. I didn't know about the schedule. I didn't know about the schedule. I didn't know about the schedule. I didn't know about the schedule. I didn't know about the schedule. I didn't know about the schedule.
Speaker: Just for context, at least because of pre -intended, it's like, like the overseas, like, champagne pizza in charge, like, Sunday schools and shit. Yeah, and I'm like, what the hell? The back. That's why I love gifted everything. But I don't realize, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker: Oh, exactly.
Speaker: I may be good at it, but it doesn't mean I want to do it.
Speaker: Actually, I don't know what to say. I don't know what to say. But the expectation that I have is that I can be the best. That's all I have. So when I was in my school, I had to go to school once a year. So I had a student convention. That was the expectation that I had.
Speaker: In the first place, I would like to say, academically, the expectation is that you will be a valedictorian. If not, you will be a valedictorian. You will be a valedictorian. You will be a valedictorian. You will be a valedictorian. You will be a valedictorian. You will be a valedictorian. You will be a valedictorian.
Speaker: I'm an excuse to like slack off in academics. It's extra -curricular. So I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. Oh my God. That drama.
Speaker: I don't know how to say that. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it.
Speaker: you have to like not have a lower score of what? 80, some of my face tests, no? I don't know. So, I've been to Hong Kong, college, Hong Kong, even until like adulthood. I don't know. So, I don't have any lessons yet. So, I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it.
Speaker: the best of the best.
Speaker: I don't know why I don't know why I don't know why I don't know why I don't know why I don't know why I don't know why I don't know why I don't know why I don't know why I don't know why I don't know why I don't know why I don't know why I don't know why I don't know why I don't know why I don't know why I don't know why
Speaker: I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do.
Speaker: High school, well, I don't know, three years old, I don't know how to say it, but I don't know how to say it, so I don't know how to say it, so I don't know how to say it, but I don't know how to say it, so I don't know how to say it, so I don't know how to say it, so I don't know how to say it, so I don't know how to say it, so I don't know how to say it, so I don't know how to say it, so I don't know how to say it, so I don't know how to say it, so I don't know how to say it, so I don't know how to say it, so I don't know how to say it, so I don't know how to say it, so I don't know how to say it, so I don't know how to say it, so I don't know how to say it, so I don't know how to say it, so
Speaker: I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know
Speaker: I'm the best friend of mine. I'm the top of my best friend. But eventually, apparently, I don't want to do a deliberation. I don't want to be a teacher. I want to point out something long and different. I want to know.
Speaker: You're a best friend. And apparently, if you do well in elementary and high school, they expect you to also do well in college. Of course. Yeah, it is. Today or adulthood? Don't excel so that they won't expect it.
Speaker: Again, going back a little bit, self -paced, just so that the listeners would understand what we're talking about. Self -paced, self -classroom setting, you can work on your own, you will excel, you can go up to how many levels you want, you can skip many years if you can. In my case,
Speaker: You have the freedom to choose which subjects you want to do and how many pages you'd like to do on those subjects.
Speaker: to level up. So because I had the freedom, like math, I hate that math. It's because I couldn't, it was so hard to understand math at a certain, especially on your own.
Speaker: on your own exactly nobody's really teaching you you'll just read what's on the book or the place as what we call it and you're expected to understand it and for me it was very difficult so because i didn't like math i focused on the subjects that i like more like social studies and word building literature in like more on the reading
Speaker: You can go in your own place, but you can't go in your own place. You can't go in your own place. You can't go in your own place. You can't go in your own place. You can't go in your own place. You can't go in your own place. You can't go in your own place. You can't go in your own place. You can't go in your own place. You can't go in your own place.
Speaker: When I was in elementary and high school, I didn't know how to do it. I didn't know how to do it. I didn't know how to do it. I didn't know how to do it. I didn't know how to do it. I didn't know how to do it.
Speaker: So I kind of stopped trying because I just didn't want the expectations. I couldn't meet their expectations.
Speaker: Because I didn't meet it, I then thought to, I felt I was basically a failing student. Even though I wasn't really failing, I was excelling in most subjects. There were just some subjects because I needed help with, but nobody was there to help me with. I didn't excel on them. I didn't want to do anything like that. So I felt like I didn't have any pressure.
Speaker: No pressure, no pressure. In the Arab, it translates well. No pressure, no internal pressure, but it doesn't manifest into work. Into output. Oh, oh, well, output comes back.
Speaker: I don't know, for me, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I'm not sure. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker: No, actually in the field, but I'm feeling that I'm feeling failure as a child, as a student. I get punished for it. I also felt, no, I don't want to do anything. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to do anything.
Speaker: That's how proud Nilla is. Apparently, I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. Affirmations. Affirmations from my parents. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it.
Speaker: I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it.
Speaker: For the lack of a better term, let's just call it fail, like with the parents' expectations. I started to fail their expectations when I got to college, because that's where I started to decide. I guess I'm lucky enough now.
Speaker: My parents, particularly my dad, he wasn't the parent who was forcing you to do stuff. He would express a bit of disappointment, but just a bit. He would say, tell him about it. He doesn't really make a big fuss about it. My mom would say,
Speaker: I'm very expressive on her disappointment. I'm very disappointed with you. More on passive -aggressive. I know what she means.
Speaker: Yeah, and with like connecting it to what Jonas was talking about. Most of the expectations or some of the big expectations his parents had.
Speaker: I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it.
Speaker: So, I don't know how to do it, but eventually, I can't do it. But I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it, but I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it, but I can't do it.
Speaker: It's very minimal when you're in college, right? Because you can't achieve it. But I think it's important for me to understand. I think it's important for me to understand. I think it's important for me to understand. I think it's important for me to understand. I think it's important for me to understand. I think it's important for me to understand. I think it's important for me to understand. Silver child.
Speaker: I'm the strong -willed, stubborn, hard -headed daughter.
Speaker: So they didn't really expect that of me. But it affects me. I feel them and they're disappointed. Yeah, actually even in adulthood, and this is what I am also curious of, is at a very young age, we were expected to do so much relatively.
Speaker: that we were somewhat given roles that usually adults would do.
Speaker: The projection of what a successful person would be is the Jonas formula. In my perspective, knowing Jonas
Speaker: When I was a child, after college, actually college, I didn't know anything about it. It was over -performing. I didn't know anything about it. Contrary to that, at a personal level, I was an adult. I didn't know anything about it. I didn't know anything about it. I didn't know anything about expectations.
Speaker: I don't want to disappoint my parents. I don't want to be honor B, not honor A.
Speaker: I have to be that person who achieves. I don't want fear to be enough for them up until now.
Speaker: When you started to talk about it, you first opened with comparing yourself to Jonas. And it's manifesting. When you were a kid, you were also being compared to other kids. And it's still showing itself now. I was. I actually was. I don't know how to say it. I don't know. Super common. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. What the fuck?
Speaker: I feel that I am scared of not being enough. To which extent, I'm not sure, but like, my internalism is not really enough. I don't want to be too hard on myself.
Speaker: No, but to a point it doesn't make sense anymore. No, but it's under -compensated, or it's well -compensated. You work more. You know me. So, where? At real young adult work?
Speaker: I have a question. What is enough? Something is more for you.
Speaker: Like adult work or a parent, as a person, a parent, you are always the person to ask the words from. That helps me expectation to go above and beyond and parent to help people. Which is, I'm not saying it's necessarily bad. But a parent, sometimes it's
Speaker: Your motivation is off tangent. Like, I don't know how to say it, but I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it.
Speaker: like if it's uh anyone if it's coming from a place of like i'm never gonna be enough i'm gonna be sacked in my work if i don't do this if i don't over perform it's like anxiety and um all those negative stuff to the point
Speaker: You are overcompensating. You're overcompensating at work, but you're really big is Hindi enough.
Speaker: Apparently, feeling my own worth is validation. You did good. So apparently, for you, apparently, at least, it's a real fulfillment. I don't think that sense is a fulfillment, but apparently, you did good. Apparently, please, at the very least. So apparently, if you...
Speaker: to balance things out. For me, I don't want to appreciate that I don't want to have stress, or that it already affects my mental health. But I don't want to have it.
Speaker: At least I don't want to talk about it, or at least I don't want to talk about efforts, or I don't want to talk about expectations, or I don't want to talk about it at the expense of your own well -being. But I want to talk about it a little bit. I want to talk about it in the manifest, your experiences as a child.
Speaker: There's no use in trying. I'm never gonna meet it anyway. Nobody's expecting anything of me anymore. The bad thing about that is
Speaker: I'm not expecting anything out of myself. If I set a goal, I would scrap that goal or just think, why even try? I'm not going to succeed in it. I'm not going to meet this.
Speaker: I use napara. Napaktonian self -esteem goes that way, thinking, there's no use with trying. It'll just end up disappointing people. Might as well disappoint them now. I end up not achieving anything for myself, even though Ahunmak Satnangul for myself. Lagging myself doubt, napara. Kaya mubayaan. Kaya mubayaan.
Speaker: For example, like going back to school or finishing my college degree. Nobody's really expecting me to finish it anyway. Like I already have my own family. I already have a job that is...
Speaker: Is that is that the end goal for me? No, I want to do more. I want to do more for myself. I want to finish college because I want to be able to prove something for myself. Hey, I finished it. It's a milestone. But I cannot bring myself to actually do like taking the first step in doing it. Yeah.
Speaker: I feel like I'm just going to be wasting my time, my energy, my money. So I just do the mediocre things. Things that I already know that I can do anyway. But I believe in the pandemic. The pandemic is going on.
Speaker: I'm lucky because I am surrounded by people, by friends who believe in me, who remind me. So go to your new work around. Find people who will remind you.
Speaker: You have friends to remind you not to do anything. Don't be too hard on yourself, Jonas. That is you are doing great. Don't think you're disappointing anyone. You are doing more than what you should anyway. You're doing fine.
Speaker: And all the men, I'm surrounded by friends and loved ones who tell me, you can still achieve that. You can still go back to school if you wanted to when you are ready to and you can finish it. Didn't you work around the nahi gita hall? I guess I can say, we're lucky that we found each other.
Speaker: regardless of how messed up we were, how messed up we are, we are not as messed up like toxic mindset.
Speaker: We were in terms of our background. We had a competitive environment, but we had to look at how different and how same it was.
Speaker: We have similar backgrounds that affect our personality, or how we view our life, or how we direct our life right now. I don't know how we perceive it, but I don't know how we perceive it, but I don't know how we perceive it, or how we go about our current lives.
Speaker: I think it's a great trait. There are some things or some characteristics, I guess, that we got from the experiences that were not so pleasant, but it's not entirely bad. Like, for example, you work ethics. You work ethics. You guys are reliable at work. You're doing great with your performance.
Speaker: And also you are great friends, like people around you can count on you when they need you. I don't really care about your expectation. It won't affect me, what you expect of me. Which you learned at a very young age. Which is the way to go, I think.
Speaker: Yeah, that's great. Yeah, that is great. Those things now we've learned along the way. But I connect with what Jonas was saying. But I guess the great thing about being adults and having the right people to share your adulthood journey, I guess, is you will learn the things that fucked you up when you were a kid doesn't have to fuck you up all your life. Yeah, you will unlearn them.
Speaker: It may be hard for some things. Probably you will need actual therapy and not a podcast recording to realize, right? But it's not too late to change things. Like you have the power to drop the things that you no longer need and to carry the other things that were useful or are still useful for you. And I think that's great.
Speaker: Our childhoods could have been better at some point. Not sure. Having the perspective that we have right now, would you change something? Or do you regret?
Speaker: having the childhood that you've had and like if you were like to say something to your younger self would you like change anything would you tell them anything
Speaker: So go to Parang and I'll explain. Parang. Yeah. You know, Parang, those things get into your head and Parang manifests differently. Yeah. Or Parang must burn out at a very early age. Yeah.
Speaker: It came to me at a later age, at a very recent pandemic. When I realized that I had no life,
Speaker: I would have turned out different at least, but at a very young age, I would have turned out different at least, but at a very young age, I would have turned out different at a very young age, but at a very young age, I would have turned out different at a very young age, but at a very young age, I would have turned out different at a very young age, but at a very young age, but at a very young age, but at a very young age, but at a very young age, but at a very young age, but at a very young age, but at a very young age, but at a very young age, but at a very young age, but at a very young age, but at a very young age, but at a very young age, but at a very young age, but at a very young age, but at a very young age,
Speaker: It's a change, the way I responded to those pressures. But then again, when you were young, when you were young, when you were young, when you were young, when you were young, when you were young, when you were young, when you were young, when you were young, when you were young, when you were young, when you were young, when you were young, when you were young, when you were young, when you were young, when you were young, when you were young, when you were young, when you were young, when you were young, when you were young, when you were young, when you were young, when you were young,
Speaker: I decided for myself to decide for myself to decide for myself to decide for myself to decide for myself to decide for me.
Speaker: It came to me very late. It came to me very late. It came to me very late. It came to me very late. It came to me very late. It came to me very late.
Speaker: I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it.
Speaker: Like in the past, or in the past self -ful. And to change my environment, like the people I am with, the family that I was born to, of course, the school that I'm going to, those are very big factors. But let's say I can't change that. I can only change what's going inside my head.
Speaker: Just to give a context, I'm probably talking about my studies.
Speaker: Because that's a very big part of your life. It's a big part of your life, especially in the younger years. It's basically the whole generation of your younger years.
Speaker: I don't care about your expectations. I'm gonna do whatever the fuck I want.
Speaker: Pero looking back, I also had that longing of affirmation and knowing that, you know, your sense of achievement. I like that. Who doesn't, right? The sense of like you being able to achieve something is great. So to your question, Kalina, darina, pano kaya mo pero ayomo. Ang sabut kudunai, finiko gusto hoi, naku lama langa lanta mao motivation.
Speaker: I had a lot of motivation and things that I didn't really care about. Now, realizing now, I should have cared about what I would think about myself, how I would feel about achieving this for myself. And at a younger age, I already know that feeling, and I liked it.
Speaker: Again, I don't want to have that motivation, so I'm not going to have that motivation. But yeah, that's what I would change, probably. Giving myself the right motivation to achieve the things that I could have. If you were to talk to your younger self or change anything from the past,
Speaker: What would you change or what would you tell young Darryl? And that's already great. That's already enough. And that's great. If you fail the test and then freaking do it again.
Speaker: Yeah, it's okay. It's okay to do it again. It's okay. It's okay not to graduate at 15 years old like Jonah's. It's okay. It's okay to like not finish things immediately because you have a long life to live. Yeah. I'm long. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker: Nariyale skolangayon na lahat dang manga friendsko, or at least majority, lahat yon akhilal akhoo from 2012 or 2013 onwards.
Speaker: Like, it's like hanging friend go from elementary and high school. No, you're your best friend. You're your best friend. No, because apparently, you sacrifice more your social life, or at least your creating real connections with people. That's why apparently, you don't have to fulfill no amount of pressures or expectations from you.
Speaker: So Parang, chagalang nagapag open up and nagapag create real connections with people when you become vulnerable, or at least you, Parang, break down certain walls and be willing to exchange, or Parang, show a piece of your true self. So Parang, don't go long. Don't long next start young connections. No, you're not 20. No, no, no, no, no. 20 in 2012.
Speaker: But only 10 years ago. So it's too late. What's not? No, I think when I talk to some people, most of them have friends since elementary or childhood friends. I'm a childhood friend because I'm a childhood friend because AC and Chris...
Speaker: Oh my gosh.
Speaker: Or at least for me, I don't want to go to school. I want to open up more, to be vulnerable. That it's okay to be vulnerable. Those are those are really good insights. I'm not sure how many podcasts are there.
Speaker: We are always brought up by tiger parents. We are expected to excel in certain things, not just academically. The premiums of success. The premiums of success, the constant culture of having to be successful.
Speaker: But it's okay to not meet expectations sometimes. It's okay not to be too hard on yourself. Also, as long as you don't want to be
Speaker: There's nothing wrong with wanting validation from your parents because it's normal. But to echo what Darryl was saying,
Speaker: It's not everything, the validation that you get from other people. And since I'm an audience and I'm a millennial, like probably at our same age group, millennials, if everything happens in our behavior or traits from when we were children, it's not too late to grow out of them.
Speaker: I'm sure by now, we have a much clearer perspective on what are the things that actually matter. So it's important that we don't lose sight of those things once we actually see them. And we're going to real care, regardless of how you handle these expectations of you or your expectations of yourself. Also, don't be scared to have expectations for yourself.
Speaker: If you don't meet them, it's fine. Find another goal, I guess. Yeah. Very therapy session. I was... I don't know. I have to thank you guys. I have to think about therapeutic. Why do you think we do this? When you articulate... When you articulate stuff, I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it.
Speaker: We do this a lot better. I'm not sure. It's different because you're putting, there's a thought that this is going to be published somewhere. Yeah, I see. So, Parang, you have to collect. You don't have consciousness. You have to collect, Parang. It doesn't make sense at least. So, we'll talk more before you. It's different knowing you get it out.
Speaker: By the way, we are experts on this topic. Like, not at all. But, victims.
Speaker: Yeah, we're just like three adults talking about our own experiences and our own opinions. But if you have anything to say about this episode or stories that you might want to share with us, please do so by filling out the link that we'll be posting on the show notes.
Speaker: And with that, let's get started! I think that's it!
Speaker: Yeah, I think I'm going to say Jonas. I'm not going to say anything about this, guys. I'm not going to say anything about this, but I'm going to say it. Correct. I'm not going to say anything about this, I'm not going to say anything about this, but I'm going to say it again. I love you guys. I love you guys. Affirmation. Cash?
Speaker: No, yeah. We are so glad that you joined us, Jonas, and Sana will relate with other topics. Yes!
Speaker: Well, yeah, again, this has been such a great conversation. We're so glad that you guys joined us with this episode. If you have any suggestions, just let us know. Hit us up with the links that Darryl mentioned earlier. Anyway, so I'm going to start this episode again. Again, this is Kesh. And this is Darryl. And this is... I'm late.
Speaker: Again, this is Keshe. And this is Dario. And this is their guest, Jonas. And this is... Is this thing on? The podcast.
