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So Let's Talk About The "L" Word
80 Plays1 year ago
Chill lang, dadagdagan din namin to ng show notes. Naglilipat kasi kami ng bahay ngayon. Basta pakinggan niyo, oks na! CHAR.
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Transcript
00:00:01
Speaker
Are you ready? I'm ready.
Podcast Introduction
00:00:05
Speaker
Hello, I'm Darren. And I'm Cash. And you're listening to... Is this thing on? The podcast. I am.
00:00:23
Speaker
Hello! Bye guys! Bye!
Episode Release Schedule Discussion
00:00:27
Speaker
After a long weeks... After a long... How did you all publish that? I'm going to say that I'm going to do an episode of the episode once a month now. Once a month now, sorry guys! I'm going to explain it to my mom. I'm going to explain it for two months. Explain!
00:00:45
Speaker
I'm not ready to talk about it yet, it's a bit strange.
Special Anniversary Episode Announcement
00:00:50
Speaker
It's a special episode because you're in Cuba. I'm not in Cuba, I'm in Cuba.
00:01:07
Speaker
Oh, oh, like, special episode though. I'm not a guest today, but a special episode is coming soon. June is the release of the episode. Oh, my gosh. So, like... Actually... Happy anniversary! Happy anniversary. It's been a long time since I've been here.
00:01:29
Speaker
Oh, no, I don't know what to do. Oh, I'm happy. I'm happy. Oh, I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy. I'm happy.
Significance of Pride Month and Anniversary
00:01:54
Speaker
I'm happy.
00:01:56
Speaker
And what even makes it extra special is the anniversary month. And I also pride month. So like, who do? Oh, so like in the anniversary, pride month, my guest.
00:02:26
Speaker
Yeah, so this is what makes this episode super special. Oh, I think that's not a new one. I know, like graduate student, women's studies at UP. Oh, they were actually a classic academy of political management. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:02:59
Speaker
2013? 2014? I know you by name 2013
00:03:24
Speaker
How do you measure life?
Guest Introduction: Regan's Identity Journey
00:03:35
Speaker
Thank you for being here and celebrating this anniversary episode with us. Hello, good morning to all of the listeners of this podcast. So honored, happy pride month and happy anniversary.
00:03:51
Speaker
And no, let's start by asking, of course, Regan about herself. So Regan, what are your pronouns? She and they. She and they. Feeling a non-binary, non-binary, but identify as lesbian. So I'm attracted to
00:04:10
Speaker
Women, queer women, even trans women. That's why I'm non-binary. But I still consider myself a woman. I'm also not closing my doors, maybe later on. I don't know if I will identify as trans man, but really, I still can't reconcile that part. But I'm feeling good, but I don't know why.
00:04:39
Speaker
I'm so thankful. For example, before when we were not really educated about the gender spectrum. So for you, it's not like that at all.
00:05:02
Speaker
Not at all, because in fact, I didn't start joking. We're here to listen. I don't know, sometimes I feel like, and you can ask other lesbians about this to confirm, but I'm celebrating my womanhood.
00:05:28
Speaker
I'm sorry, I have that concept that heterosexual women. Why? Because in a way, I don't know, we love being women. And that's why the difference is I cannot really identify
00:05:44
Speaker
as trans man although again I'm open to it because I don't have this for you in my body so para I'm still open to the idea that I will get pregnant if I have a partner someday even when I had an ex before you were talking about who will be the first to get pregnant yeah so yeah so uh
00:06:08
Speaker
I still identify as a woman, as all lesbians do, I think. But my expression is very masculine, as you can see. Because lesbians have masculinities, but nevertheless, we're just women who loves and likes women. So that's it.
00:06:29
Speaker
And like, have you been identifying as how you are identifying now? Like, since? Oh, that's an interesting question. Evolved how? Wow.
00:06:49
Speaker
He informed me. Interesting question. I'm going to ask before when I had a girlfriend and the first time I came out to myself.
00:07:11
Speaker
I thought I'm really bi. I really thought so. And even when I had a girlfriend, one time, I was like, what are you doing? I don't know what to do. So, apparently, it's okay.
00:07:28
Speaker
May I ask a quick question? What made you think that you were still feeling some attraction toward men? Because I did. I really did. I did have sexual relations with men before.
00:07:45
Speaker
But I think that as years went by, I think, I get to have sexual relations with women at the same time, intimate relations
Regan's Coming Out Experience
00:08:05
Speaker
with women. I cannot be intimate.
00:08:08
Speaker
Although I had sexual relations before with men, but I wasn't able to, I think, form an emotional bond towards those men. So it's just for...
00:08:28
Speaker
But I came out third year college because I fell in love with a friend. Sound really, really close to me. Yeah, damn, damn. That's really hard.
00:08:43
Speaker
Yeah, that's really hard and it was extra difficult at that time because both of us is not actually out to people so odd, right? So both of you, you feel like you have emotional connection to each other but it's just basically exclusive in moments you're together but
00:09:05
Speaker
Not all people know. I think some of her friends know. I didn't tell anyone from my own friend group. I think some of her friends know. But yeah, it's really, really difficult to date once you're really close to Ted.
00:09:22
Speaker
All of us can relate to that. But the freedom that you get to have once you're out and you're done with all the self-work and you're done with all those insecurities in the past, my God, it's so rewarding. Well, I don't know if I'm going to do that, but... I'm not going to do that.
00:10:11
Speaker
No, going back to the conversation, I'm very curious because everybody has their, I am closeted, I want to come out POV. What made you think that you are ready not to come out at that time? At that time, it was gradual. I could not admit it to myself until suddenly I admitted to myself that, oh shit, I fell in love with a woman and
00:10:18
Speaker
Hi, I'm 30.
00:10:41
Speaker
I'm letting go of someone just because I cannot yet reconcile it to myself. So what I did, oh my God, I'm corny, what I did was.
00:10:52
Speaker
When I suddenly felt, nah, okay, I think I should not let this go. So I wrote a notebook of letters and poems to that girl. And I sent it via LBC. Yeah. I didn't know so many. I'm kind of curious. I'm going to go write for LBC.
00:11:14
Speaker
Oh, that's why we have to do the same day delivery. It's not bad. I don't know how to do it.
00:11:25
Speaker
2012. Oh 2012, 2012. She was here in Metro Manila already. She was taking, taking off. She's older than me. So I confessed through that letter. A notebook of poems and love letter.
00:11:56
Speaker
I said it to her. I wasn't able to get a reply for a year, but when she replied.
00:12:08
Speaker
Yeah, it was kind of odd, but I think a year more than a year, she had in her explanation, she was going through a lot of things at that time that I said that. But she was really so thankful that I did and that she said that I actually
00:12:30
Speaker
I treasured our friendship a lot and she felt like she's so angry with herself that she cannot give back the same level of affection as I did. But at that time, it was so odd because when she replied, I was already courting another girl.
00:12:56
Speaker
I don't know what to do with my mom. I don't know what to do with my mom. I don't know what to do with my mom. I don't know what to do with my mom. I don't know what to do with my mom. I don't know what to do with my mom. I don't know what to do with my mom.
00:13:21
Speaker
I think it's an org that has a lot of exchanges. It's like Denmark. I don't know what Denmark is for. I don't know what L-O-A is for. I don't know what U-P is for. And then suddenly, when I went back to school and then I pursued another girl and then in the middle of pelvic stuff whatsoever,
00:13:48
Speaker
I received a very long letter from her.
00:14:09
Speaker
I don't know if we're going to get moments of crash and burn, like I said, when I'm with another girl, I fall out, it's a relationship, I get to chat still with her, and we're close, and then suddenly, I don't have time, I don't have time. Oh my god.
00:14:35
Speaker
I am so hot about it. I am so hot about it.
00:14:58
Speaker
I don't know. Okay, so I'm going to reply to that. So it's after noon, but I'm going to chat. But for now, we're going to have a moment or opportunity to be in the same place. And we were intimate once again. So long time, I'm going to have a girlfriend. I'm not going to have a really ex-girlfriend.
00:15:28
Speaker
So, I'm not a good girlfriend, but even prior to being a good girlfriend, I'm not a bad girl, I'm not a good girlfriend. So I'm not a bad girl, I'm not a bad girl.
00:15:49
Speaker
Oh, I'm Ashley. Fast forward. She's organizing stuff with her close friends. So I went there. This is the first time I'm going to see her after everything that happened. So...
00:16:17
Speaker
And then she's asking me if I want to talk about it. But at the time, I didn't know anything about it. But after I didn't know anything about it, I realized that I didn't know anything about it. I didn't know anything about it. I didn't know anything about it. I didn't know anything about it. Logistically, and at the same time, I don't know.
00:16:41
Speaker
But after we go to a series of crash and burn, I mean, with each other. But after so many years, after so many years, I've outgrown that old self of mine, I was in college. But not of communications.
00:17:06
Speaker
I learned my lesson. I learned stuff along the way. Thank you. But definitely that girl, that first girl, and like all of us, you're first.
Embracing Identity and Self-Realization
00:17:19
Speaker
You would always be your first and would be part of your coming out story, right? Because how would you exactly know?
00:17:28
Speaker
who you are when you cannot even reconcile that, okay, I love the girl and I'm going to come out clean with it. At least I did my assignment, you know, telling someone I like them. You shoot your shot. I don't know how fast it is that we shoot.
00:18:10
Speaker
love stories coming out stories because it's something that couldn't be talked about before but like right now must empower tayo to like talk about these kinds of stories now we are able to like love the people we want to love and it's literally a month of
00:18:19
Speaker
You shot, you shot, you shot, you shot, you shot, you shot, you shot.
00:18:39
Speaker
What are the struggles of, let's say, in society, as a lesbian Filipina woman? What are your struggles? If I may go straight to that point or to that question. Yeah, we wanted to learn more about that and wanted to give space, this podcast, to this part of the community.
00:19:08
Speaker
Yeah, because, like, for LGBT, we know, we have struck, we are, like, one of the marginalized sectors already. But what if the intersection, the intersection is not LGBT? Yeah. What if the intersection is not LGBT? Yeah. What if the intersection is not LGBT? What if the intersection is not LGBT? What if the intersection is not LGBT? What if the intersection is not LGBT? What if the intersection is not LGBT? What if the intersection is not LGBT? What if the intersection is not LGBT? What if the intersection is not LGBT? What if the intersection is not LGBT? What if the intersection is not LGBT? What if the intersection is not LGBT? What if the intersection is not LGBT? What if the intersection is not LGBT? What if the intersection is not LGBT? What if the intersection is not LGBT?
00:19:36
Speaker
I don't know, but... I don't know, but... I think it's a struggle for lesbians, for personal problems, for invisible lives, for a lesbian struggle. I mean... In other words.
00:19:59
Speaker
Oh, so... When you say, invisible eyes. Oh, my times it could be intentional. My times that it could be...
00:20:17
Speaker
Because like for instance, it came from a long history of movement organizing. So I went into the women's movement. So part of within the women's movement, part of conversations about lesbian issues and once you go to
00:20:35
Speaker
Once you go to LGBT movements as well, it must be dominated by the gay and MSM struggle. Once you ask any lesbian without organizing a group of FGDs, you can hear it from them. What are FGDs? Focus group discussions.
00:20:59
Speaker
So without organizing a group of lesbian women, you can actually just randomly ask people who are active in civil society, even in other countries.
00:21:19
Speaker
Actually, I don't know about lesbian struggles. You're a member of these two collective identities that are oppressed, right? So women and at the same time, LGBT. But within the LGBT, I don't know about LGBT struggles.
00:21:42
Speaker
So, for a queer person, lesbian women, then women. Yeah. So union struggle, invisible, because there definitely is a difference on that intersection.
Unique Challenges for Lesbians in the Philippines
00:22:04
Speaker
And at the same time, as a Filipina, as for sure my
00:22:11
Speaker
issues with Ika, issues with other intersection disabilities as well like personally, what are the struggles that you've experienced so many times and you feel like nobody or this problem has not been talked about
00:22:39
Speaker
I agree with it actually because if I run you women exclusive spaces in lesbian exclusive spaces, the energy is different once you go into
00:22:54
Speaker
into gay bars, for instance. So that article talked about the earlier influx of lesbian bars in Metro Manila, early 2000, even late 90s, and even within the LGBT movement. And I'm reading one of the lesbian orgs first
00:23:21
Speaker
the first pride that was organized by lesbians instead of foreigners. So it was the lesbians' youth. My explanation, I think, behind it is because during post-martial law, the Karun Kanang, endaming women's groups because of the space of democratization. So endaming spaces for lesbians to organize also
00:23:50
Speaker
exclusive spaces for themselves. But after a long time ago, in Orlando, in the early 2000s, there were lesbian-exclusive bars. That was the case because of economic stuff and the momentum. But I think the importance of lesbian
00:24:16
Speaker
exclusive spaces or queer women exclusive spaces is the fact that there is a space for an intimate and close affinity based on their identity. I think it's a really deep shadow. I think it's a very deep expression of
00:24:41
Speaker
I have been into very privileged spaces, for a very long time, as a progressive civil society. But I realized when I suddenly went out of that civil society space,
00:25:11
Speaker
No, because I'm very used to that space of privilege. I'm just very lucky. I have a lot of problems in terms of accepting people like me because they're also progressive. When I went out of my comfort zone, I don't know if it's a part of it.
00:25:38
Speaker
But I don't know how to do it, how to spin it, how to do it. When I really went into that very mainstream, very, very indigo tomorrow.
00:25:54
Speaker
That echo chamber. And if I do something extraordinary, if I do something extraordinary, if I do something extraordinary, if I do something extraordinary, if I do something extraordinary, if I do something extraordinary, if I do something extraordinary,
00:26:16
Speaker
No, for instance, the laugh. But in an affirmation space, no comparison. You know, but by the way, let's be honest. Masculine for your expression. Well, I'm not really kidding. So.
00:26:34
Speaker
I worked with progressive civil society, so I went to the movements. At the same time, I worked with Congressmen, with Congressmen, with Congressmen, with Congressmen, with Congressmen, with Congressmen,
00:27:00
Speaker
accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted, accepted,
00:27:19
Speaker
Which is good. When you experienced that, when you got into the mainstream and you found out now, holy shit, this is how it is here in the mainstream. How did that feel for you? Was that kind of like...
00:27:35
Speaker
a wake-up call of some sort now that we have still a long way to go. I think it's time to actually balance talking to people who are in your spaces and at the same time talking to people who are outside of our
00:27:50
Speaker
spaces because all this time maybe we think that everything's okay when it's actually not. It's a personal struggle. It's number one in terms of expression because I'm a lesbian who has masculine expression.
00:28:28
Speaker
Straight passing.
00:28:37
Speaker
The microaggressions that, all my microaggressions, I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to express it. I don't know how to express it. But it's true. Yeah, I have. I have. Yeah. So as I said, you microaggressions are in the workplace. What are the other
00:29:02
Speaker
microaggressions. I think if you want to share more about that, though, for example, in going to like dating, when dating, are there microaggressions that you experience, if not with the person that you're dating, maybe when other people like see you dating?
00:29:21
Speaker
Oh, you're interesting again. I have a new expression called Superhaba. Superhaba, super curly, super... Oh, pretty girl. Family and expression, and uh-uh. And family and expression. What's the difference between start, contrast, tender, or bumble? Yes, tender, but it's part of the change in preference.
00:29:48
Speaker
So, I don't know if it's very straight, straight, lipstick. Among men, I don't know if it's even among women. Even among women, I don't know if it's even masculine. Especially now. But I don't know if it's safe for dating. So, bumble. I don't know if it's bumble these days.
00:30:17
Speaker
So Bambol na man. Nariya lai skon... I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. But not as damn, as compared before. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it.
00:30:41
Speaker
And interesting is that the lesbian woman matches with Caucasian men. Caucasian men? Yes, that is true. I love it again. Girl, what do you mean by that? I don't know if it's cis-passing. Sis-passing means straight passing, straight passing.
00:31:07
Speaker
Um, part on LGBTQ. Yeah. Uh-oh. And you can really confirm that, um, in porn, in dating apps, um, especially that once you provide a very feminine picture in Tinder or in Bumble and that you mentioned to people
00:31:37
Speaker
And among men that you date women, oh my god, there's like a lot of choices. So, I don't know if sexualized or not. Like... Yes. I don't know if sexualized or not. Yes, but it's reasonable. Like, automatic. Exactly. I get me invited in those things before as a... That's what they want. As a cis... Automatic, sexualized girl. But I don't know if I'm a young dating person or not.
00:32:14
Speaker
And even in real day, real day dating, before I have this thing, from bi to lesbian, and then I also had that face wherein I get to
00:32:31
Speaker
I get to fall in love and like straight women who cannot even repay any amount of protection. I love it! It's really good. But for the real world, again, I don't know how to say that. I think that there is a certain sense of satisfaction. Because for me, both of them are us.
00:33:00
Speaker
queer women, then you like each other and that you just go out for dating because just like any other person who dates, it's just that. Dating shouldn't be a source of trigger. Dating shouldn't be a source of stress. Dating is actually very enjoyable. Flirtations, in fact, are very, very enjoyable once you both know what you want.
00:33:28
Speaker
So I was very lucky that I had that kind of realization recently, the last person I dated. It then turned out okay, but at least I was able to get that idea.
Dating Complexities for Bisexual Women
00:33:45
Speaker
oh wow this is how this is the feeling once again to be courted by another woman speaking of dating i say i've um i identify as a bisexual women a woman right like i have bisexual women not friends but i think
00:34:12
Speaker
But indeed, my experience in relationships with women pero ente, so ajo, like, because I want to learn more and I don't want to, you know, ask, ask, ask, ask about their personal life and personal stuff that I want just to learn. I go into the Internet and find groups and forums and what I've learned is...
00:34:30
Speaker
For because you've identified as a bisexual woman before and also you date women now. So I want I want to hear a confirmation from you if this is also the same here in the Philippines because a these for this these forums that I've Read were basically and mostly in the States. Um, they said now dating in the
00:34:52
Speaker
as a bisexual woman is especially complicated and difficult to start to jumpstart because nobody knows how to start a freaking conversation or they don't know how to engage with each other.
00:35:12
Speaker
For example, one girl is interested with another girl and she compliments the other girl back but the other girl doesn't exactly get it but at the same time she's not straight now and then. They're both gay or bi. It doesn't exactly click right away. Isn't that true?
00:35:32
Speaker
Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's super true. Before Hindi, someone pointed it out to me again. Maybe you're just thinking about that because that's partly part of being lesbian or bi. No, I don't know.
00:35:54
Speaker
Does she like me or is she just like friendly? Yeah!
00:36:07
Speaker
It's a very woman kind of energy. I am caught up by this. It's a very feminine kind of energy, a very lesbian kind of energy and queer woman kind of energy. Since I'm attracted to trans women,
00:36:30
Speaker
Ah, oh my god, you trans women, the way they would flirt with you. Oh shit. Really? Oh, very forward. Very forward. Oh, you see Lassa, yo. Very forward to Lassa. Yes. I think that's the mask you look forward to. Why are you here? We go for fun. Me too. We're going there. And then... Oh.
00:36:59
Speaker
Yeah. Lots of trans women matches and they're very, very forward and the difference with lesbian or queer women in a match. I think that's it. Yeah, I know. Oh, it's funny. Oh, it's funny. I don't know why it's so funny. I don't know why it's so funny. I don't know why it's so funny.
00:37:40
Speaker
It's a feminine thing. It's so weird to say it.
00:37:58
Speaker
I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it.
00:38:11
Speaker
Like masculine gay by world. It's either... I want to be like romantic. It does not.
00:38:34
Speaker
Speaking of that, there's a lot of culture. Bumble tender for lesbians or queer women. Well, your energy again is a little bit different. It's a little different. It's a little different. Getting to know. Except if not much more, I think, Caucasian women.
00:39:02
Speaker
They're very forward. They're super forward about what they want. So partly the race also is a factor. I think you...
00:39:20
Speaker
I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it.
00:39:44
Speaker
I don't know how to say it, I don't know how to say it or how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it.
00:40:09
Speaker
I don't know, like some gay, LGBT clubs, kind of inclusive young space, not the dominant national masculine energy. Masculine presence. Masculine gay by presence. Yeah. Nah, to the point, nah. But for example, nah, nectar. We all make it like lesbians partying with you. And I'm like, well,
00:40:37
Speaker
I think maybe... Well, I didn't know much about lesbian friends, because they were... Well, I... I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, I don't know.
00:40:52
Speaker
I don't know, but I don't know anything about this, but for an LGBT inclusive church that I worked with before, I was able to attend this LGBT inclusive church with masculine energies. So for an inhuman person,
00:41:15
Speaker
Where are the lesbians, Ganyan? Your question. Where are the lesbians? Apparently, he's having a lot of energy. He's having a lot of energy. He's having a lot of energy. He's having a lot of energy.
00:41:40
Speaker
Wait, what do you think of dating? I don't know, I don't know if it's because I'm a lesbian friend. Well, I want to gain energy again on dating and even on hookup culture among lesbian women. I feel like as women, it's because I feel certain. I don't know if I'm feeling it right now. It's because I feel an extra sense of intuition.
00:42:13
Speaker
And not just that, I think one thing that take away from dating apps or personal is that women, especially among lesbian women, don't use certain sense of
00:42:31
Speaker
What do you do when you establish new space and sense of constability with each other? Yes, exactly. Constability and safe space. And that's why I think no offense meant to all the girls. Not just passing by or straight.
00:42:52
Speaker
I think I'm very comfortable with the day out. I don't know. I'm from Delhi. I don't know where I'm from. I don't know where I'm from. I don't know where I'm from. I don't know where I'm from. I don't know where I'm from. I don't know where I'm from. I don't know where I'm from. I don't know where I'm from. I don't know where I'm from.
00:43:16
Speaker
Among lesbian relationships, the energy prior to doing it or going there is so slow burn, super slow burn. And I also think my
00:43:34
Speaker
I don't know what to expect in an overall environment. I don't know what to expect in an overall environment. I don't know what to expect in an overall environment. I don't know what to expect in an overall environment. I don't know what to expect in an overall environment.
00:43:54
Speaker
In comparison to lesbian relationships, couples, etc. The affirmation in the external environment is not as enthusiastic once you have a lesbian relationship, right?
00:44:15
Speaker
and the high insecurities of being queer. That's why I think one, you're in less than energy once again, but once you're very, very comfortable with each other, you stereotype, I, oh my God, you're next, you're not gonna go in. I'm a book transportifier, or U-Haul, say U.S.
00:44:40
Speaker
Let's together. Like once you do make the connection. But once you're there, it's like a short lock now. Okay, I'm sure about this person. There is no heartbreak.
00:45:06
Speaker
I love you. My god. On the first, third date, fourth date. I love you. I love you. I love you too. I love you. There is no heartbreak. Like your first lesbian heartbreak. That's what they said. That's intense.
00:45:33
Speaker
I'm stereotyped, well, I don't know what to do with dating, but once I get a sense of cohabitation, I'm super, super jealous.
Lesbian Dating Culture Insights
00:45:43
Speaker
But I'm also stereotyped as a lesbian. So I'm not a lesbian, but I'm a lesbian. I want to be a lesbian. That's amazing. I want to go to your house. Like, I don't know how to say it, but I don't know what to say.
00:46:01
Speaker
I love property. Yes. So I don't... I don't property that Meronca, Ganon, retirement plans. So for a Mass Marami, Yong, Ganyan, over, like, transactional hookups, one night stands. Yeah. It's a dominant part of the lesbian culture. I don't know about that. So, you, lesbian culture, can say, I must feelings. Emotional. Yeah.
00:46:29
Speaker
a very emotional connection. So there could be times in other lesbian relationships that must not break up because not go up or whatsoever. Must not heartbreak especially that emotional connection.
00:46:53
Speaker
I'm sorry I haven't and I don't get to talk about this much cuz like I only have a handful of lesbian friends
00:47:05
Speaker
You mentioned earlier about lesbian spaces that have boomed during the 90s, is that right? And unfortunately, most of them, if not all of them have closed down due to, you know, reasons. Like now, do you see a boom in, you know, arise again with
00:47:27
Speaker
Lesbian spaces. My resurgence before pre-pandemic, I don't think there was some space, nightlife spaces that you can really call lesbian spaces while on pre-pandemic. But right now, according to my gender, my exclusive space is the one for lesbian women. Lesbians don't have to be like, no gay men, no whatever.
00:47:54
Speaker
I wasn't able to ask where that is again, but my Gannona resurgence came on. And even that article, my lesbian owned enterprises, there are no exclusive. Well, right now there are.
00:48:15
Speaker
and lesbian, all queer women, clubs, or gatherings. Gatherings. Gatherings. Gatherings.
00:48:38
Speaker
It's a designated space, I don't know, it's a tiktok, I don't know if it's a tiktok. It's a lesbian-only or queer-women-only space. So I don't know if it's a dance party or a speaking party. I don't know. I don't know. Queer women. But on clubs, like clubs, like next kind of level, voilà.
00:49:03
Speaker
I think it's different from the X to the Nectar. I think it's different from the Nectar. Bumpastic, drag shows, it's all out there. I think there's a lot of different spaces. I don't know why, but I think it's different from the cultural space, I think. It's closely in the mix. I think it's different from the Nectar.
00:49:31
Speaker
It's a physical space to actually accommodate conversations. You share a lot of stuff. You want to connect like that.
00:49:55
Speaker
Intimate details. Excuse me. Forever.
00:50:16
Speaker
But I'm loving an investment, which makes us also reflect that intimacy is more than just sex, I think. So you get to be intimate with someone and love someone, not just because you have sex with them, but you actually share certain things with each other.
00:50:36
Speaker
Very intimate things, realizations. You share also a sense of connection. You root for each other.
00:50:52
Speaker
of course not everything is all about sex and sexual relations being sexuality no women and even among straight women you know, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman, I'm not a woman
00:51:19
Speaker
And admitting that in lesbian relationships, grab your emotional bond. But it doesn't mean we're adding intense sex because there is actually. Yeah, that's what I'm going to do.
00:51:33
Speaker
Yeah, there is. It's not to say that dominant young lesbians among this, but definitely, I think
00:51:52
Speaker
In women to women relationships, how to pleasure women? Yeah, that's how they say it. That's how they say it. Clitoral, clitoral, pleasure. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. Men get to be aroused with, of course, the peace and everything. But among women, we have the clitoris. So, in women's sexuality, there's a lot of things that people don't know.
00:52:21
Speaker
Yeah. Women centered pleasure and how we were all conditioned and even in porn, it's always, you know, dominating someone else.
00:52:45
Speaker
But it's definitely... So they're all talking about, or they're talking about, or... In the end, they're actually very interesting. And actually, there's a lot of struggles. Actually, not just the struggles, the experiences aren't invisibleized. And I'm happy now we get to talk about these things. So I'm going to start now. From this discussion alone.
00:53:20
Speaker
It's an entirely different world and I am so happy and I am very honored and privileged to be a mugging witness, if not a part of this entire discussion. It's exciting to see women's pleasure. It's like an entirely different world. No wonder you were choking up.
00:53:36
Speaker
you know it's it's exciting it's exciting your new feedback
00:53:50
Speaker
No wonder you were choking up, you were leading up too. No, no, no, no, no, no. Thank you so much. Yeah. Like what you said, I think it's also a timely episode now that it's our anniversary month.
00:54:11
Speaker
And like I say, our intention in having this podcast is not just to provide or not just to grant or to occupy our space and also talk about relatable struggles and the shit that we have as millennials.
00:54:29
Speaker
but also to provide space for people in the community that we think could enlighten us more in talking about stuff like this. Just to know about it is going to make a difference because if we have loved ones who are, for example, a part of the LGBT community, one of the best things that we can give to them as support is to be their safe space and knowing all of these things about our loved ones and what makes them comfortable,
00:54:57
Speaker
what are the microaggressions that they get from the society that they don't sure need from us. To learn these things is the safe space that our brothers and sisters, LGBTQIA plus community need.
00:55:13
Speaker
So once again, Audiba, we're already tying up the episode. But we have so much to talk about. And we thank you so much, Rayyan. Now you have, I know, gave us the time to talk about these things. We're looking forward to inviting you in our more episodes that we would, that we want to talk about more about this.
00:55:40
Speaker
Yeah, so I hope I gave justice to the anniversary episode. Yes, you did. The anniversary episode for in coming into the Pride Month. And thanks again for having me and more conversations about these relationships. I think it's time for sexual pleasure.
00:56:10
Speaker
When I was asked about hookup culture, I was like, I can't say among lesbian women, you hook up culture, but I didn't want to break up culture, break up culture. I didn't want to have any relationship.
00:56:45
Speaker
It's very high time to like, un-invisibilize the invisibilize
00:56:54
Speaker
Give space.
Reflecting on Podcast's First Year
00:56:56
Speaker
Applify. Yeah, anyways, correct. I don't want to go to the hotel. Oh my god, I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it. I can't believe it.
00:57:17
Speaker
And yeah, we're very happy that we reached this first year. We're looking forward to like surviving. And improving. Our podcast. I don't know how to say it. But we enjoy it. Even the feedback, the comments, we get the messages we get from you guys. We love it every time we hear from you. My followers. So we are very happy.
00:57:45
Speaker
Well, this is our first year. Happy Adiv Kesh! Happy Adiv Daryal! And once again... Is this thing on? A podcast!