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Independence? In This Economy???
106 Plays2 years ago
For this episode, we talk about our experiences with entering the life of independence as Millenial adults.Here we share our stories, realizations, and lessons we've learned the hard way about what independence means. We have learned that, apparently, with great freedom comes greatER responsibilities.From the Boarding-House College Life (featuring the Pancit Canton Diet and other tipidity hacks that we've tried) to our First Job and First Time Magkasakit Nang Wala Si Mama moments-- andito lahat sa episode na ito.Dinaig ni Daryll si tito Boy sa mga tanong at linabas nya din ang kanyang HR skills sa pagbato ng mga situational questions. Of course, Kesh being the madaldal friend, was happy to answer all of them. Chareng!We hope you like this episode as much as we despise those monthly bills. Ugh, adulting, amiright?
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Episode talking points and timestamps!
- "Lalayas na ako-- char!" (3:25)
- First taste of "independence" (10:47)
- So How Did That Go For You? (15:12)
- First Job, First Salary (23:17)
- Expectations Vs. Reality (26:29)
- Independence as a privilege (36:08)
- Turning Tables: Az a Mom (42:10)
- Takeaways (52:55)
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At dahil ayaw namin kayong mahirapan, eto na din ang links 😅
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Transcript
Introduction Challenges
00:00:00
Speaker
I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it.
00:00:54
Speaker
because that's how we trust the editor
00:00:58
Speaker
No, I don't. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
00:01:16
Speaker
I don't know, I don't know how to say it. I don't know, I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it.
00:01:45
Speaker
And this is... Is this thing on? The podcast! Wow! Mid-sentence, I'll introduce you, but I don't know how to introduce you. But I don't know how to introduce you. Yes. Very shitty. You take all the boxes in your outline. It's so difficult to...
00:02:13
Speaker
to do something because, you know, that you'll be the one to figure out how to do it. Like, nobody's gonna tell you how to do it. Maybe that's the reason why I'm having a hard time. Having a hard time, what? Introducing yourself? But I don't know if this is the right thing or like, is this the right way to do it? Is this the wrong way of doing it? Am I making mistakes right now? Like right now, right now?
00:02:42
Speaker
Yeah, no in life life life in general Did you see the smoothness Yeah, okay, okay
00:03:02
Speaker
Anyway, before I go and start ranting and shit.
Early Memories of Independence
00:03:12
Speaker
This episode is about independence. I was gonna start with a question.
00:03:25
Speaker
When was the first time that you were independent at that time? Yes, exactly. So I want you to go as far as you can. Like the first memory that you remember, you have to remember that you are independent. I want you to go as far as you can.
00:03:50
Speaker
I love you so much. I love you so much.
00:04:17
Speaker
So, every time I don't know what's going on, I don't know what's going on. But I think it's important to know that there's a lot of people who don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on.
00:04:39
Speaker
Oh, okay, okay. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. Oh, okay.
00:05:08
Speaker
When I was a kid, I didn't want to be a mom. I didn't want to be a mom. I didn't want to be a mom. I didn't want to be a mom. I didn't want to be a mom. I didn't want to be a mom. I didn't want to be a mom. I didn't want to be a mom. I didn't want to be a mom. I didn't want to be a mom. I didn't want to be a mom. I didn't want to be a mom. I didn't want to be a mom. I didn't want to be a mom. I didn't want to be a mom.
00:05:36
Speaker
That was actually the first time that we were able to do that.
00:05:41
Speaker
It's a way to get food, feeling good.
00:06:09
Speaker
It was a very bright, you know, idea. To the point, I kind of tried it. Oh, fuck this, I have to like live, go back.
00:06:30
Speaker
It's not working. It's not working. It's not working. It's not working. It's not working.
00:06:49
Speaker
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
00:07:09
Speaker
I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it.
00:07:38
Speaker
I remember there was this time when I came in with Mama and it was very bad. Like she got on levels. So I was like, I don't know how to say it. I was a teenager. I was like, I don't know how to say it. I was like, I don't know how to say it.
00:08:01
Speaker
I think that's why I'm so happy that I'm so happy that I'm so happy that I'm so happy that I'm so happy that I'm so happy that I'm so happy that I'm so happy that I'm so happy that I'm so happy that I'm so happy that I'm so happy that I'm
00:08:29
Speaker
I was like, nobody loves me in this house. I was like, nobody loves me in this house. I was like, nobody loves me in this house. I was like, nobody loves me in this house. I was like, nobody loves me in this house. I was like, nobody loves me in this house. I was like, nobody loves me in this house. I was like, nobody loves me in this house.
00:08:59
Speaker
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.
00:09:25
Speaker
I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it, but I think it's the first time I've ever met someone like you. But it's a vivid memory.
00:09:46
Speaker
uh okay like i can't wait to leave the house to live on my my own oh it was a recurring thought
00:10:00
Speaker
especially when me and my mom would have an argument. I'm pretty sure that there are a lot of families in this argument. My argument between the parent and the child is strong willed.
00:10:21
Speaker
It wasn't healthy for any of us in the house. I think it would be better if I would get to leave the house and live on my own.
00:10:44
Speaker
Let's proceed then to the next question. Experience and quote-unquote independence.
First Taste of College Life
00:10:53
Speaker
I experienced second-year college. From first-year college, I really wanted to not become independent. Oh, you mean to say you wanted to become independent.
00:11:16
Speaker
I wanted to become independent. What do you mean? What was the question? You wanted to not become independent. Sorry, sorry. I wanted to become independent. It's my subconscious speaking channel.
00:11:30
Speaker
I wanted to become independent, but I wanted to hire someone who is underage. I was 17, so I had to go to my second year of college. But I was 18 when I was in my second year of college, so I had to go to my third year of college. Which was your first job? My first job was to go to my second year of college online school.
00:11:55
Speaker
I made decisions for myself like where I would rent, pay rent, using my salary, food
00:12:27
Speaker
College. Actually, college level.
00:12:32
Speaker
But I think the universe lined up some things for me so that I could actually, you know, negotiate, not living on, if not on my own life, or like by myself outside our house. For my 18th birthday, I talked to my dad, Shabiko Papa, but I was talking to her at a boarding house. She told me that I'm a church member, but I'm a boarding house, so I'm an engineer, so I'm going to go to school. Church member, Johan?
00:13:02
Speaker
Church member Eon. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.
00:13:43
Speaker
So I did the computation. So I did the computation. I did the computation. I did the budget. I did the budget. I did the budget. This is how much I would spend for food. This is how much I would spend for school. This is how much you would need to spend for the... I don't know. And I don't know how much I would spend for food.
00:13:57
Speaker
It's practical and it's also safer.
00:14:09
Speaker
That was at least my opinion, but I'm not going to do anything.
00:14:13
Speaker
So I was like very, very happy. It was my first taste of quote, unquote, independence. I was still asking for money from my parents. Like they would still give me allowance. Although it was very small, but I had to, I can say that it's also part of being independent. To say I was the one budgeting my money. They would just give me the money.
00:14:40
Speaker
So the first taste of independence and it was very... I felt like I was living life for the first time. I was taking care of myself. It was a very good experience for me.
00:15:07
Speaker
The next start. The next start. The next start. You know, independent kinda since then, actually until now I can say that you've been living independently. How did that go for you, that entire experience up to this day? They taught me how to budget, and if I didn't budget my money, I would be like... Yeah, okay, how did that go? I was like...
00:15:31
Speaker
I don't know if it's a college, but I don't know if it's a college or not. I don't know if it's a school or not, but it's a reason why I'm here at the boarding house in our school. I don't know if it's a school or not, but I don't know if it's an org. I don't know if it's an org. I don't know if it's an org. I don't know if it's an org or not, but I don't know if it's an org.
00:15:59
Speaker
When I started to go to the boarding house and I lived close, I could stay late and I could hang out with friends. So I had no relationship with friends.
00:16:22
Speaker
I had more time. I had more time. I had more time. I had more time. Yeah, I had more time. Yeah, I had more time. Yeah, I had more time. Yeah, I had more time. Yeah, I had more time. Yeah, I had more time. Yeah, I had more time. Yeah, I had more time. Yeah, I had more time. Yeah, I had more time. Yeah, I had more time. Yeah, I had more time. Yeah, I had more time. Yeah, I had more time. Yeah, I had more time. Yeah, I had more time. Yeah, I had more time. Yeah, I had more time. Yeah, I had more time. Yeah, I had more time. Yeah, I had more time. Yeah, I had more time. Yeah, I had more time. Yeah, I had more time. Yeah, I had more time. Yeah, I had more time. Yeah, I had more time. Yeah, I had more time. Yeah, I had more time. Yeah
00:16:49
Speaker
So, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.
00:17:02
Speaker
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
Financial Planning Struggles
00:17:32
Speaker
Either fried egg or fried egg with pancit canton or fried egg
00:17:43
Speaker
or fried egg with noodles.
00:18:07
Speaker
Because it depends on the budget for 35-50 pesos. For 35-40 pesos, it depends on the number of the mother. It depends on the age of the mother or the age of the girl. Or the age of the girl. It depends on the age of the girl. Or...
00:18:26
Speaker
I don't know if it's expensive or not, but maybe it's something like 2015 or 2015, so it's cool. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
00:18:43
Speaker
I don't know what I'm talking about. Sorry, I don't know what I'm talking about. Sorry, I don't know what I'm talking about. Sorry, I don't know what I'm talking about. Sorry, I don't know what I'm talking about.
00:19:15
Speaker
We were just, we were four.
00:19:21
Speaker
more like
00:19:50
Speaker
I think it's a good idea to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to be able to
00:20:24
Speaker
For like two days.
00:20:36
Speaker
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know,
00:21:06
Speaker
I'm so happy that I love you! I'm so happy that you're here today. I'm so happy that you're here today. I'm so happy that you're here today. I'm so happy that you're here today. I'm so happy that you're here today. I'm so happy that you're here today. I'm so happy that you're here today. I'm so happy that you're here today. I'm so happy that you're here today.
00:21:44
Speaker
One week.
00:22:20
Speaker
In fairness, I got to spend more time with my friends. If you want to have fun, it's not going to come easy for you. You would have to plan for it. You have to know how to budget it. And I think that is an experience. That's one of the lessons that
00:22:21
Speaker
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
00:22:41
Speaker
life taught me early compared to my peers or some of my friends not during college who had like the money at their disposal when they needed it. I had to work for it.
00:22:58
Speaker
Yeah, so you had to work for it. You had to work for it. But since I was very bad at budgeting, and I was like, I just had the money. If I just had the money. But then again, that's another story that maybe I'll share later. Ekao, how did independence work for you? Like when you started to work while studying at the same time. And your experience, Malal, can you tell me what did it feel like when you got your first
00:23:28
Speaker
salary, and how did that go for you? Aye, oh, oh. Actually, I don't know how to make a first salary in this company. The next thing I'll tell my mom is that I don't know how to make it. But even before college, I don't know how to make a first paycheck. I don't know how to make it. I don't know how to make it. I don't know how to make it. I don't know how to make it. Wait, so I don't know how to make it. I don't know how to make it.
00:23:58
Speaker
It's your most memorable first paycheck. But I don't know when I got into reality and got that first paycheck. I don't know what the text is. I don't know what the text is. I don't know what the text is. I don't know what the text is. I don't know what the text is. I don't know what the text is. I don't know what the text is. I don't know what the text is. I don't know what the text is. I don't know what the text is. I don't know what the text is. I don't know what the text is.
00:24:26
Speaker
Oh.
00:24:29
Speaker
What's your first name? I'm going to start with the first one. I'm going to check it from work. So, what do you think about the first one? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
00:25:00
Speaker
So even after college, like paycheck to paycheck.
00:25:09
Speaker
day to day, control your behavior more based on how hard you've worked and how much you are getting. Don con experience na meron yo magata o nakta trabajonang mas harder than you in your perspective, but they get less. At the expense of the independence, we are all seeking to enjoy. Parang ganyan.
00:25:37
Speaker
To that point, I don't know how to do it. Like, for a short period of time, I don't know how to do it, but I don't know how to do it. So I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it.
00:25:56
Speaker
But I don't know how to say it. So I don't know how to say it. But I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. But I don't know how to say it. But I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. But I don't know how to say it.
00:26:16
Speaker
But at the same time, do I want to live here? Do I want to transfer schools and just live with my parents and go back to being independent to them again? What were your expectations? I don't know if they were independent. I don't know if they were independent or independent. I don't know expectations. I don't know if they were real. I don't know reality.
00:26:49
Speaker
You get to do the things that you want. That's fake. It's fake news. You can't. I know.
00:27:02
Speaker
But again, I don't know how to say it, but I don't know about the amount of the financial capacity that we are in. But I don't know. I'm going to save up for a house. I'm going to save up for a house. I'm going to save up for a car. That's a good one. I'm going to shit, but I'm what?
00:27:32
Speaker
I expect that I will be free from whatever sort of dependence that I had with my family. But all those are not entirely true. I get to call the shots, but the shots are limited. There are only two shots. And then...
00:27:56
Speaker
I don't realize your expectations versus reality go with independence. I think it happened when I started to work. How did you start to work? After second year of college, I talked to my dad. I'm not really independent. I think I need more money.
00:28:25
Speaker
And the only way that I could get money was to work. And since I live in absence of school, I work a lot. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to do it. But after like one year of working.
00:28:44
Speaker
I was happy to know that I had a chance to make a real shot at independence. So in the summer I applied for work.
00:28:58
Speaker
My first work was call center. I worked as a call center. I worked as a call center. My salary was... This was already high then. And I was like, fuck!
00:29:23
Speaker
Fuck! I'm fucking rich. My salary was 12,000 pesos per month. That was that time I felt like, damn. You know. My expectation was like, fuck. I would now be able to go with friends and go places, like go eat out.
00:29:53
Speaker
Because I never really experienced that. I was like 19 years old then.
00:30:20
Speaker
I wasn't living with my parents anymore, feeling good, and I was already mature enough to make decisions. But I would later learn that, nope.
00:30:44
Speaker
You feel like you'll be able to spend it
00:31:00
Speaker
for whatever you want. And I think I might have done that for the first months. Now, I just... compared to what I had before, it was so much more. So I was like, I'll be fine. I don't have to budget this anymore. I just need to...
00:31:24
Speaker
And then all of the rest is fucking mine and I would spend it however I would like to. But I later learned this is not going to do well. I overspent money and then
00:31:42
Speaker
So the expectation that you can spend your money the way you want and you won't have any problems. So it's a treat. Like, you can spend it short, but you'll end up broke and like not eating anything. So I have to learn how to budget my money wisely. It depends. I don't know how to budget my money. But there are moments when I don't have money.
00:32:10
Speaker
And I had to talk to my dad. I had to say, what? It's funny.
00:32:21
Speaker
I remember that conversation. And I was like, shit. A part of me was like, yeah, at least happy.
00:32:49
Speaker
I didn't think it was going to happen, but at the same time, I really felt that it was going to happen. But I didn't think it was going to happen. I didn't think it was going to happen. I didn't think it was going to happen. I didn't think it was going to happen. I didn't think it was going to happen. I didn't think it was going to happen. I didn't think it was going to happen.
00:33:17
Speaker
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know,
00:33:47
Speaker
I'm like, fuck it, I don't know what to say, I don't know what to say. I don't know what to say, I don't know what to say. I don't know what to say, I don't know what to say.
The Realities of Self-Care
00:34:01
Speaker
the grimace of the hard days now that you are still independent all throughout these years when I wanted independence I didn't realize that independence is not just you know being able to do what you want when you want it it also entails a lot of responsibilities and not even just managing your money budgeting it it's also taking care of yourself I remember the first time I got sick
00:34:30
Speaker
when I wasn't living with my parents anymore.
00:34:35
Speaker
Yeah, the first time I became really sick. And I felt like I was gonna die alone. Because I wasn't ready for it. I never really thought about that because I was young. So when I got sick,
00:35:02
Speaker
Nobody was gonna take care of me. You know what she did? She gave me a hot meal, she gave me meds. Or like at least somebody looking after me.
00:35:26
Speaker
I have to learn how to take care of myself. I have to learn how to take care of myself.
00:35:52
Speaker
So I have to prepare for that just in case. It's just a lesson that hit me the hardest in the first years. It's just another lesson I guess is your like... No, like...
00:36:15
Speaker
a lot of privileges not in in life like growing up guys we were not in a well-off family that we were able to go
00:36:31
Speaker
We have to stay at home and work. I know of people who would want to be independent, but can't, like independent in a sense, they want to start a life of their own.
00:36:53
Speaker
you know, without their parents making decisions or being a factor to their decisions. But they can't, because they indicate like, undamined factors. We don't have financial plans, right? Oh, yes, we don't have financial plans. For example, there are opportunities for us to get that financial, for example, financial stability.
00:37:26
Speaker
Oh, actually. Like there are, for example, I'm inside a lot of like Facebook groups who like ask questions, like to ask for advice. And I come across posts from people who are saying that I talk like they wanna
00:37:47
Speaker
they want to do this or that in their lives like they want to live with their partners or they want to get married or say it like something that they want to make a decision with in regards to their own life but they can't say
00:38:02
Speaker
They live with their parents and their parents are either dependent to them, to the breadwinner. And it's so easy to say, and it's so easy to say, and it's so easy to say, and it's so easy to say, and it's so easy to say, and it's so easy to say, and it's so easy to say, and it's so easy to say, and it's so easy to say, and it's so easy to say, and it's so easy to say, and it's so easy to say, and it's so easy to say, and it's so easy to say, and it's so easy to say, and it's so easy to say, and it's so easy to say, and it's so easy to say, and it's so easy to say, and it's so easy to say, and it's so easy to say, and it's so easy to say, and it's so easy to say, and it's so easy to say, and it's so easy to say, and it's so easy
00:38:30
Speaker
Eventually I want to become independent from my partner. I want to become independent from my partner. I want to become independent from my partner. I want to become independent from my partner. I want to become independent from my partner. I want to become independent from my partner. I want to become independent from my partner.
00:38:49
Speaker
in this economy that is very hard. Yeah, it's very difficult. There are a lot of like abused people who stay with their abusers because of this problem. And
00:39:03
Speaker
And it's so easy for other people who are privileged. Yeah, but it's easy for us to say. Yeah. It's not that easy. Like leaving that situation is not that easy. Yeah. It takes a very, very big step, big, courageous step to do that. And a very big chunk of that courageous step is having the means to like, yeah, financial capacity.
00:39:33
Speaker
And we have to acknowledge that. It might be. It could be hard for many. It is hard, yeah. Not because we were able to get out of our parents' households at a very early age.
00:39:52
Speaker
That's because we were privileged. We were privileged. I think I was just lucky because we were not even privileged.
Independence as a Privilege
00:40:00
Speaker
I was privileged enough to know enough English to get into all center agencies. You were placed in a school, na?
00:40:13
Speaker
that taught you proficient English to borrow the ownership that other kids did not have access to. So we just want to acknowledge that being independent is a privilege.
00:40:30
Speaker
A privilege. Yes. For example, I think you wouldn't do it, right? I think you've made that clear earlier. Yeah. How about you? I wouldn't, nah.
00:40:51
Speaker
I wouldn't nap at all, not because of economic reasons. It's because of why I really left home in the first place. And this was like, again, as I said earlier, it was to not become accountable to my parents whenever I do shit in life.
00:41:09
Speaker
like they so they don't have a say for example the sexuality or the choices that I make as long as you live under this roof you know the popular Asian saying yeah you follow these set of rules and I respect that which is why I also respectfully left because I cannot with your religion I cannot with
00:41:35
Speaker
with these values. So I respectfully left. And because of those values and those values, things that I give premium to,
00:41:47
Speaker
I wouldn't go back, but I wouldn't go back, but I wouldn't go back, but I wouldn't go back, but I wouldn't go back, but I wouldn't go back, but I wouldn't go back, but I wouldn't go back, but I wouldn't go back
00:42:17
Speaker
They did the exact opposite of what you did. What if they don't? What if they chose to stay with you? What if they don't? What if they chose to stay with you? What if they don't? What if they chose to stay with you? What if they chose to stay with you? What if they chose to stay with you? What if they chose to stay with you? What if they chose to stay with you? What if they chose to stay with you? What if they chose to stay with you? What if they chose to stay with you? What if they chose to stay with you? What if they chose to stay with you? What if they chose to stay with you? What if they chose to stay with you? What if they chose to stay with you? What if they chose to stay with you? What if they chose to stay with you? What if they chose to stay with you? What if they chose to stay with you? What if they chose to stay with you? What if they chose to stay with you? What if they chose to stay with
00:42:45
Speaker
Na ako, ako ha, like, ako, as myself. Hola, hola. And because of me as a parent, as myself. Okay. As myself. Ideally, they would go out into their own, like, you know, live on their own, be able to provide for their, for their selves and, you know, have, have their own space. That's the idea. Yeah, it's the idea. Okay.
00:43:12
Speaker
But if they are in the situation, let's say they have to. Let's say they have no choice. I guess that would be fine.
00:43:35
Speaker
Let me explain. Other parents would say their kids are growing up so fast. They wish that their kids would slow down and growing up. They want their kids to stay with them for as long as they could. Honestly, I don't know how this would sound, but I cannot wait for my children to be independent.
00:44:02
Speaker
Honestly, so you have space so you can have space for yourself. Yes. So I could have space for myself, but I have to understand and I'm realizing now. Let's say, you know, capable of taking care of their own selves. I would still be their mom. I would still be their mom and they would still need things from me.
00:44:32
Speaker
and possibly me needing things from them, you know? Okay. So, I guess that's something that I have to come into terms with. I have to realize, nah, motherhood doesn't end when college happens. It's not like what happened to me, nah. They would still need me. And I guess that's something that I should be grateful for. And I think I would be looking for that, you know,
00:45:10
Speaker
So going back to your question, if ever they would still need me in their life, let's say in that situation, they would still want or need to live with me because they still
00:45:26
Speaker
are dependent. Yeah. Then I would take that as a compliment. They would still want me in their lives. I'm not someone who is insufferable that they would want to, you know, get rid of or they can't wait to run away from. I would take it as a good thing, I guess. Okay.
00:45:52
Speaker
You're just like 40 years old. You're just like 40 years old. Sabine, you mean to say when I'm old enough and I need someone to take care of me. Except that they have their own lives. They have their own lives. That's possible.
00:46:22
Speaker
I don't know. I honestly don't know. I guess this is why people have partners. I don't know. I mean, if they would help me, that would be really good, I guess. Yeah. I hope I would be a good enough parent. They would want investment.
00:46:58
Speaker
That's on me. I guess that's on me. If I was a very shitty parent and my children would not want to take care of me when I need to be taken care of, I guess that's on me. I have to understand that. Because Hindi
00:47:29
Speaker
I do a good enough job of taking care of them so that when the time comes that
00:47:54
Speaker
Next question. Next and the last question. This weekend. And you have the means. To go there?
00:48:18
Speaker
I don't know how to say it, but I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it, but I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it, but I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it, but I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it, but I don't know how to say it.
00:48:47
Speaker
I don't know. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it.
00:49:17
Speaker
I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that I am assuming that
00:49:39
Speaker
What is responsible for? Wait, this sounds weird. What is responsible for? What is responsible for? What is responsible for? What is responsible for? What is responsible for?
00:50:01
Speaker
Uh-oh.
00:50:12
Speaker
And there are other means of helping out. It's not just being present there.
00:50:35
Speaker
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
00:51:05
Speaker
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
00:51:34
Speaker
So yeah, Daril, I need you to come here. I want you to be the one to take care of me. Once in a while. No, I need you here. I need your presence.
00:51:56
Speaker
Very interesting. Very, very interesting. After this conversation.
00:52:08
Speaker
How far would you go
Parenting and Independence
00:52:25
Speaker
Because we're going to have to talk about this as part of life. Yeah, those are very hard questions, by the way. I'm pretty sure it's going to be different. Like, this is the politically correct answer that I'm saying in the podcast. But when it's there, it's different. It's definitely different. Okay, so I don't know how to say it. I don't know how to say it.
00:52:37
Speaker
for your parents?
00:52:53
Speaker
Actually, it's a question of living independently. In my opinion, in my personal opinion, I think that there is a chance to be independent from the things we are dependent on.
00:53:14
Speaker
But unfortunately, we live in a world dependent somehow. Like I cannot lose my job. Yeah, like independence is a prank. We would just want to wish.
00:53:41
Speaker
I don't have the tools and opportunities to be given the chance to become independent or at least make that choice. I don't have to be independent, but they couldn't be because of the employment rate, that's not inflation. They have to make choices.
00:54:09
Speaker
that they wouldn't otherwise choose. Yeah, I've also realized nobody can truly be independent. Like we were saying, Kanina de ba. Like, la tayo dependent one way or another. Sabina de la no man is an island. All de ba. No man is an island. We can never really go through life alone. We need help.
00:54:35
Speaker
And I mean that. This is all for help. We need help. It's okay to ask for help. It's okay to want help. There is no shame of asking for help if you want.
00:54:51
Speaker
On that note, if you are feeling stressed out, you know, about this whole independence thing or any other issues, and you would want to seek help and talk about it, you can look for the links that we have provided, I mean, show notes, and there are also hotlines, mental health, mental health hotlines. And of course, if you want to know more about it,
00:55:21
Speaker
Chat support! We are open to listening to your stories. That's it for this episode. But I'm not sure if I'm going to do it right now. I'm not sure if I'm going to do it right now.
00:55:43
Speaker
Yes, thank you so much for joining us for this episode. It was a very weird discussion. If you have any suggestions or anything that you want to talk about, just hit us up.
00:56:00
Speaker
You can PM us directly. Yeah. So, I guess that's it, right? Is this thing on? The podcast.
00:56:30
Speaker
Wake up early, gon' rise with the sun Step two, get some good, some food in you Step three, be real hard about what you wanna be Step four, fuck everybody just do your thing
00:56:42
Speaker
today's gonna be a good day wake up today's gonna be a good day wake up today's gonna be a good day wake up today's gonna be a good day wake up today's gonna be a good day wake up today's gonna be a good day wake up today's gonna be a good day wake up today's gonna be a good day