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Special Episode! 1st Annual Retreat: Grand Canyon
24 Plays1 month ago
Stehlin leads our discussion as the guys recap our first annual retreat! The guys accomplished their “Misogi Challenge” by completing a rim-to-river-rim hike at the Grand Canyon, spanning 20+ miles and 5,000+ feet of elevation gain.
- Why did we decide to go on a retreat like this? (1:11 - 3:02)
- What are some of the events that stuck out to you the most on the trip? (3:03 - 5:42)
- What did you think of the hike? How did the duration of the hike compare to your expectations? (5:43 - 13:48)
- How does this hike rank on the list of hardest things you’ve ever done? (13:49 - 19:10)
- What connections did you observe between the hike/retreat and the books we’ve read together? (19:11 - 22:50)
- Did being uncomfortable add another layer to the brotherhood component? (22:51 - 24:39)
- Would you encourage other guys to do something similar? If so, why? (24:40 - 25:24)
Our next book will be Endurance: Shackleton’s Incredible Voyage by Alfred Lansing.
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See you next week! Until then - read, reflect, and connect.
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Transcript
The Challenge of the Grand Canyon Hike
00:00:47
Speaker
hike from the south rim of the Grand Canyon down to the Colorado River and back up in a day. This was a total of 5,600 feet of elevation gain. During this time, we were able to catch up, do something hard together and have a ton of laughs as we got into deep discussion. So I wanted to use this time today basically to just share a little bit what we did and kind of reminisce as well as some of our key takeaways from the experience. So with that being said, does anyone want to speak to a little bit why we decided to do this trip?
00:01:15
Speaker
I think we wanted to just get together. We've spent what really the past like two years, but maybe the last year really diving into the book club. Obviously we're spread out across the U S a little bit. So we've got Kansas city, St. Louis.
00:01:32
Speaker
Oklahoma City Phoenix and Hawaii so we don't get to see each other very often and we've put a lot of time and effort into just growing and maturing as brothers and doing this podcast on a weekly to bi-weekly basis and the chance to get together and do something hard and really live into some of the personal development books that we've read about pushing past our comfort ah levels, trying something hard, living what we're reading.
00:02:04
Speaker
was definitely appeal.
The Importance of Planning Meaningful Gatherings
00:02:06
Speaker
I know to me about pursuing Arizona in more of an extreme way rather than as a spectator just going somewhere and kind of seeing it, but rather kind of rolling up our sleeves and hiking and getting into it.
00:02:22
Speaker
Yeah, I feel like, Rob, there's something that I recall you saying at your bachelor party. You said it had been a little over two years ago now. And I feel like I've heard multiple of you guys kind of some reiteration of this. ah There will come a day when we don't really have the like reasons of after party or wedding where we're like all going to be together for a common purpose.
The Concept of Misagi and Teamwork
00:02:42
Speaker
And so it it really does feel like at this point, it's like you really got to make the plans to make this happen.
00:02:47
Speaker
And I'm really happy we did. I mean, I think it's something that you talk about a lot with friends, but to actually like plan something. It takes time and financial resources and you know a lot of us have kids and so it's going to be a challenge, but I'm really happy we did. and So as you guys look back on the weekend, it was kind of a long weekend. I think it was four or five nights. What are some of the things that like stick out to you of like what you recall? It turned into a mini Misagi for me, that's for sure.
00:03:16
Speaker
The Misagi is from the comfort crisis, which isn't that where like they used to, the technical version of a Misagi is, was it Japanese? Yeah. Yeah. And they used to go to like that waterfall and sit underneath it once a year, yeah like freezing cold waterfall. But then he kind of turned it then into doing something where it's like challenging to where you might not succeed, but you're not going to die.
00:03:42
Speaker
yeah That's one of the one of the two rules, right? It's like you can't die. Yeah. So like, I don't know, you get down to the bottom of the Grand Canyon, the only way up is to go up or to take a $10,000 helicopter ride up. So for me, I mean, my right knee flared up of mile nine.
00:04:03
Speaker
This was 11 miles to go. I was kind of screwed, but you know with some teamwork, legitimate teamwork, and a little bit of Advil helped somewhat.
00:04:16
Speaker
Seriously, Adam, he carried my backpack the last like three miles because my knee hurt so bad. Then we turned it into a game of like, all right, we're going to do one round of five minutes on and then a minute and a half off. And that's what we did for like the last three miles, which was kind of a play on scarcity brain from the gamification component. Yeah. So for sure to see a couple of books, like lessons from a couple of our books come into play. Yeah. Yeah.
00:04:46
Speaker
Honestly, that was one of the most impressive parts of the entire trip is seeing you push through that pain and go up the last few miles despite your knee. I remember I think I was up with Carrot and Rob.
00:05:01
Speaker
But we were a little ways ahead of you and I was just resting, taking a break and look back and I see both Adams just trucking, going so fast. I'm like, oh, we're doing this, we're going. like where did he Where did he get the energy? I just did that the rest of the way. It was great. That was funny.
00:05:19
Speaker
Yeah. I remember for lesbian, like, yeah, this definitely suits me more. It's like turning something aerobic into anaerobic. Exactly. Like short burst rest, short burst rest. You were like, let's gamify this. And then he said, like, make it into rounds. And I was like, yeah, game on. Let's do that. So what did you guys think about the hike? Was that, what do you say? So again, it's 20 miles.
00:05:44
Speaker
in 5,600 feet elevation gain. So I guess first off, how did it compare to what you thought it was going to be? I think the duration component, maybe I underestimated. I mean, starting essentially when it was dark and then finishing when it was dark, there are like car drives that I've done where it's like, okay, I'm going to power through this like 12 hour car drive. And it feels like your whole day is just, that's all
Underestimated Difficulty and Shared Beauty
00:06:13
Speaker
you did. And it was kind of a blur, you know, because
00:06:16
Speaker
was literally from sun up to sundown i think that the duration component was was real i think the physical side of things certainly coming down was a breeze just in terms of like it wasn't a strenuous it was more like.
00:06:31
Speaker
A lot of talking, like camaraderie. Everybody was kind of together. There was, you know, the weather was good, but the coming up, we all knew that that was going to be the harder part. But I think over time, right? Seven, eight hours in, when you're like really on the up and up, it's like, oh man, I can barely walk, but you know, and you don't want to talk too, because it's like, that's energy that you need to finish it. So you're like, the conversation's lessened.
00:07:00
Speaker
um it's like Don't ask me how I'm doing because I don't have the energy to tell you right now. that At least that's how I felt at times, at least in the last couple of miles. You're like me at the very end and nobody's looking and I just pick a rock up and chuck it as far as you can because you're so pissed off from the pain. I didn't see that part. I know. Yeah, I would agree with the duration part. I was expecting us to finish.
00:07:29
Speaker
earlier than when the sun was already down. But I thought it was great. I loved the hike. It was tough. One of the toughest things I've done. Probably mostly because of the duration. 19 miles and over a mile of elevation is a so long way to go.
00:07:46
Speaker
But yeah, like Rob said, going down, that was pretty easy. The worst part I think was just being jolted from constantly going downhill. Yeah. That's what got me. But you know, we stopped and took pictures joking and got to see some wildlife. When you get down to the bottom of the river, at least for me, it didn't feel like we accomplished something that much because it wasn't all that difficult. And you had to think I'm down here, but now I have to get back.
00:08:17
Speaker
here And I was fairly tired when we stopped for lunch, but we all jumped into that river. That cold river at the bottom. Oh, yeah. And that was probably my favorite part of the whole trip. Same. So much fun. Same here. Refreshing and it was invigorating too. Yeah, it was awesome. Going back up, I kind of feel bad looking back that I really advocated to take the longer route and add an extra four miles because that's when Fluzz's knee started going bad.
00:08:48
Speaker
Yeah, it's all good. We wouldn't have known that. Kind of my fault. Nah. I really wanted to do it. And I knew we all could. I wanted to feel more accomplished than kind of taking the easy way out. But those four miles where I was just kind of flat, we were going across. I really enjoyed that part because it was pretty easy. And we had really good conversation during that. And then your riddles were pretty brutal though. Yeah, riddles are.
00:09:16
Speaker
and I don't love riddles.
00:09:19
Speaker
Now I was feeling good for almost the entire hike. I'd say the last mile a half or two miles was when it really started to get difficult for me. But before that I was feeling great. I was like, I ran for a little bit.
00:09:36
Speaker
on the uphill and it felt good. Kind of wanted to do it more, but I didn't want to get too far ahead. But yeah, the last mile and a half or two miles was my legs were feeling it for sure. And I'm very thankful that we brought a couple of headlamps because I did not have one. And Garrett was right next to me with
The Rarity and Uniqueness of Their Achievement
00:09:54
Speaker
one. If he wasn't there, we would have been walking in pitch black on a not that wide of a pathway with a very, very high steep drop on one side. Yeah.
00:10:06
Speaker
Yeah. We didn't have that lamp. Did we have them at the end there? I had one. You did? Yeah. I was just so surprised. I mean, part of me isn't, but still like the amount of common sense on some of the people coming down. It's like, okay, it's six o'clock at night. The sun is setting. You're like two, three miles in. You had no head lamp.
00:10:31
Speaker
know nothing. You people need to turn around and start fall like getting behind us. like You're not in shape. like Did you see some of those people? Those people are going to get into trouble there.
00:10:42
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, you recall, I think it was like week of, you're like, Hey, this is like, you know, I think there've been a couple of deaths earlier this year. And not to like make light of that, but I think people just, they do unintelligent stuff sometimes. I still remember the first time I did kind of the similar hike at the Grand Canyon. I had a patient who had spent a lot of time there and he goes, you know, the Grand Canyon is not a playground.
00:11:03
Speaker
And it's something I think about when I'm there every time. Cause a lot of people just they act like idiots and they make decisions without thinking about the repercussions. Yeah. One of my last lunches before our trip, this, uh, nurse practitioner knew three high school kids that died there. Like ah um got that long ago. It is pretty serious. What really would have made it a Misagi was doing it the next day.
00:11:31
Speaker
um where it was cold, overcast, rainy. After already having done it the day before. No, no, just general. We really did luck out on the weather because the white weather yeah it was beautiful. It wasn't that hot at all. I just think we got really, really lucky on the day and the weather because ah I mean, it was raining, but what was really cool was the next day to being able to Look at the geological overlook or whatever it was and ah retrace like, oh, there's where we went down. And then, oh, there's that four mile stretch right there. And then like, see how it came up and just having that sense of accomplishment, knowing that most of the people that we were standing next to.
00:12:19
Speaker
had no idea what, that we had just gone in there. I think, Staelyn, you shared that like 10% of the people that actually go to the Grand Canyon go into it, but only like 1% go to the bottom. So just so felt like we really earned it that next day, being able to look upon it and be like, oh man, we were kind of part of that 1%. Yeah. It just makes you feel a lot better than other people. No, I guess.
00:12:45
Speaker
But I'm not saying it like that. I know. No, no. I'm i'm the one saying like that. You get to see like you get to be in it and you get to see what's actually down there. You you don't get to see eight Ram or big horn sheep scale in the mountain that you do in an hour and they go up it in 10 seconds. And it's like, yeah, that was really cool.
00:13:05
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, i I'm still always amazed at the amount of water that's at the bottom of the Grand Canyon because it's the desert, right? And it looks so dry and arid. But yet at the bottom, there's a river. It's a decent sized river and there's streams and stuff. and Yeah, it was pretty cool looking at the map afterwards the following day, like you said, Rob. But it's also amazing that the path we took was just the tiniest fraction of the Grand Canyon.
00:13:32
Speaker
We did just like a millimeter on that map. We were so tiny. It felt like we walked for so long, like 20 miles, but looking at the map of the entire thing, it was just this tiny section of it. How does this rate for you guys in terms of, you know, Matt, you already mentioned, but on the list of like harder things that you've done, like where would you put this? Top two. What's the other one you're thinking of?
00:13:58
Speaker
the, uh, half marathon that I did earlier this year just by myself. priorer Nice. Yeah. That I did in preparation for the green Canyon, trying to force myself to run nonstop for 13.1 miles is that was really tough for me. I compared it to doing 14 years in Colorado.
00:14:21
Speaker
But it wasn't quite the same. Grand Canyon was, I'd say, definitely harder because 14 years, usually you drive up to, I don't know, 10, 11,000 feet of elevation. So you're really only going 3,000 feet-ish.
00:14:36
Speaker
Yeah, maybe 4000 to the top. And usually they're a lot shorter of hikes. But also during the Grand Canyon is opposite. You go down first and then you have to go up, which I think makes it harder. Whereas as it if you're climbing amounts and you do the hard part first and then you get to enjoy it on the way down.
00:14:54
Speaker
That's a good point. yeah um It's hard for me to compare because I just i've thought about this and it's like a powerlifting means. I've deadlifted 700, I've squatted six, I've benched about four.
00:15:08
Speaker
And like in a powerlifting me, like I would try trying to think like what I felt afterwards. And I think that I still probably felt worse after a powerlifting me. Yeah. You just feel like neurologically taxed first of for a while. like You just feel dumb after you just did nine max out attempts. you know But that hike that was the hardest aerobic type activity I've ever done, for sure.
00:15:34
Speaker
I'm just going to separate them out and say that was the hardest aerobic activity I've ever done. This is just a different kind of heart, just a length of time out there all day going and yeah you know with my knee flaring up, that made it a lot harder.
00:15:50
Speaker
I don't feel like I was like nearly as taxed overall as I used to be when I would do powerlifting meets, but it was hard in the moment. but It didn't you know make me super CNS fatigue or anything like that. It took a couple of days for my knee to kind of heal up and then kind of ready to go again, but it was definitely the hardest thing I've done outside of a powerlifting meet. I'll just say that.
00:16:17
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, I would say it's up there. i don't I am struggling to think of what I've done that's harder. There's a hike that I did in Canada that was pretty hard just because of the steep incline. And it wasn't like steps where you could get some flat before you took the next step. Like it was just constant incline, the the whole like five miles or something like that. But it would have to be up there in terms of the duration.
00:16:44
Speaker
I think, I mean, I straight up did the whole thing cold too. Like I did no training at all. My man. I mean, like, so I walk a couple of miles a day, but like, you did that ruck. You did that ruck the week before. Dude, I put 25 pounds in a backpack one day and walk. No, good on you there, Rob. I mean, that's really impressive. I mean, there's, I would say there were some Murph workouts that I did that I definitely felt super gassed, probably more spent at the end of it.
00:17:24
Speaker
just because of the high fast pace of it where this was like drawn out over so long and like you could you know you could take a break where with like merfe it's really like a race against time to like be a time-based thing but i mean i was pretty fearful that night like when we were done I started getting the chills and i was like oh man hope i'm not about to like suffer all night with the chills just because my body like my muscles hadn't been activated like that so they were like releasing the toxins or it's like the last time i had felt that way was when i got a massage and i had never.
00:18:00
Speaker
had one and your toxins are getting released or whatever from your muscles. So speaking of that, how you're feeling afterwards, thinking about like the night afterwards is kind of funny. So as we were camping, it was pretty cold and all of us didn't have like the best night's sleep the night before. And you definitely got the sense that, you know, it's dark. It was probably like, I think it was like 637 as we were finishing up. And the sense is like, okay,
00:18:24
Speaker
Now we got to go back to the campsite, make fire and eat. but We're not going to eat until like an hour from now. And I remember pretty much collectively, everyone was like, Oh, let's go to the lodge and eat. And that was probably one of the best meals I've had a long time because I agree.
00:18:42
Speaker
100%. But then still, like I remember we we go back to the campsite then, and it's probably 7.30 at this time. And I remember, I think it was pretty much everyone except for Thomas, me and Garrett.
00:18:56
Speaker
was like going to go to bed right away and then Garrett ended up falling asleep within like five minutes of like sitting on by a fire.
Vulnerability, Brotherhood, and Deep Conversations
00:19:04
Speaker
And so I was like, yeah, I think today was a pretty tiring day. So, but back to something Wolflez and Rob had mentioned, you know, obviously this group we were meeting because the books that we're reading and such. And so you guys already hit on a little bit, but any other connections that you saw or you feel like we talked about some throughout the weekend,
00:19:24
Speaker
as it related to kind of what we were doing and things that we've learned. Yeah, Gates of Fire. rob Rob had some funny humor there towards the end of the hike, would you say? Like, whenever the going gets tough, just quit. he says but What did you say? Yeah, just give up.
00:19:47
Speaker
Stuff like that keeps you going because it's funny, you know? It's like, oh, well, we're not going to do that. I think non-hike related, obviously the Night in Flagstaff was ah was something that I'll remember too, just kind of peeling back the onion from a like a mask masculinity vulnerability standpoint. we We were able to just rally as brothers and and go a little deeper and Just talk through various topics and it ultimately led to us affirming one another in in like a really beautiful way. Just each guy sitting and and each guy going around and affirming their brother and it's something that we kind of did in that format in college. What we called like a candle pass. So like the person who had the candle could talk and they could say whatever but nobody else could talk. So it was kind of our spin on that with
00:20:40
Speaker
loving each other, but talking through vulnerable things as well. So that's something of the trip that I'll remember too. That was really cool. You know, I actually mentioned that we did that to a social worker and she was like, I've never heard of a group of guys doing that. That's awesome.
00:20:59
Speaker
I think you guys have have covered it. It was a great trip. And yeah, I was someone who had trained for it and I was feeling pretty good, pretty confident strength wise. And then four days before the hike, I had hurt my back lifting weights. So I was pretty stressed out. So that was like a humbling thing because I had to lean on a lot of you all with, you know, Stalin giving me some PT advice and, you know, not really lifting a lot of heavy stuff when setting up camp and whatnot. And yeah, it was, it was a team effort. You know, you all letting me have two of the hiking sticks or the hiking poles or whatever, and everybody else only had one. So I could alleviate as much, you know, more weight off of my legs and stuff. so
00:21:45
Speaker
It was definitely a ah team effort and it was humbling and it was great, but you've all covered almost everything that I otherwise would have said. I think I had a comfort crisis because I got maybe an hour and a half of sleep total the two nights before our hike. The first night sleeping in Stalyn's living room, Thomas was throwing so bad that I cannot fall asleep.
00:22:13
Speaker
I don't know how you slept through that. That's ridiculous. I didn't, yeah, I didn't hear him. That's wild. And then the next night camping, sleeping right next to Rob on the air mattress. And he was snoring in my face the whole night. ha No, dude. Yeah. I don't know. No, you certainly did that night. i say I think I, I think I slept for about 20 minutes, the two nights that we camped.
00:22:43
Speaker
I actually got up and went to the truck one night, tried to sleep in there. so i mean so Speaking on that, how do you guys feel like you guys feel like the uncomfortable like being uncomfortable added to the Brotherhood experience?
Encouraging Challenging Experiences
00:22:57
Speaker
Or do you feel like it was just like, no, that was stupid? and I could go with Glampang next time.
00:23:03
Speaker
Flagstaff and the hot tub were pretty nice. Oh, I don't know. I think it add adds to it. It's like, is it necessary or is it unnecessary? So it's like, I think for the sake of what we were doing at the Grand Canyon, I think it was necessary. Just, well, we couldn't have gotten a cabin. I don't think so. You kind of have to 10 outside. So at that point it kind of like adds like for me it kind of added to when we got to the Grand Canyon we were that we went and checked it out and it's like all right this is the calm before the storm like tomorrow we're gonna we're gonna go in and tackle it and it's like gonna be our battle and so for me I think it kind of felt a little necessary based on the context of what we were doing yeah that's cool room But if it's like, if we were going to go and do something and in a city, but yet we wanted to go and like suffer in the wilderness the day before, it's like, eh, maybe that doesn't make sense, but I don't know. I feel like it's cool to, like, I feel like you see a different side of people, which is, I mean, it's always good to like know people more whenever they're like really uncomfortable. Yeah. I saw Fluzz's backside.
00:24:14
Speaker
You can do that anytime you want. I don't know. It's like being sleep deprived or being super tired. and know Rob, you're talking about when we're hiking and not talking for an hour, hour and a half at a time when you're with people. It's kind of a different thing. um and i think I'd like to think that like added to like just the sharing experience.
00:24:34
Speaker
Well, last thing I wanted to ask before we kind of wrap up here, so any other kind of big takeaways for you all and then kind of on that note, would you all encourage other other guys to do similar trips to this and why?
00:24:48
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, this wasn't like ah a boozing trip. It wasn't a golf trip. It wasn't a rambunctious trip. It was guys getting together to do something hard. And I don't think that a lot of guys do that. So I think there's a ah level of bonding, something that we'll always remember. It's not just like every other trip.
00:25:12
Speaker
every other bachelor party. It was our battle. It was our war. And it was cool to do that together and have that memory.